Just Need Someone To Talk To

[gadgetninjette91]

Hello to whoever is reading this right now. I received my Crohn's diagnosis about a month ago and have been on (inadequate) treatment since. I have plans to seek adequate treatment, but that's not nearly what is bothering me right now. What's bothering me is people. Specifically, people who either don't care to know about or understand my illness or just don't have the capacity to understand. In general, I feel very hurt and lonely. There have been rumors being spread by so-called "friends" that I've lost weight because I'm using drugs and that I'm using the illness as a cover for a drug addiction and am faking. Probably got all those colonoscopy and CT pictures from the Internet, right? Another thing I can't stand is being told I just want pity or attention. I want neither, I couldn't care less about either one of those things. What I want is genuine support from those who care and are close to me. It's just so hard to find. I barely know who my friends are anymore. I'm scared they'll all just ditch me because it gets to be too much, especially since my particular presentation can be quite dangerous and I worry it'll just scare everyone away.

I guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to who understands. I feel very lonely and lost and depressed and isolated and outside influence is not helping me right now.

 

[24601]

I know this doesn't really make it easier but you are not alone in having people disbelieve you or be unsympathetic.

For now, at least, you need to take a step back from anyone who is acting like that and all the negative emotions that creates.

Do you have anyone that you trust to not say or think those things? Because for now I would limit talking about your Crohn's to just those people. I think you need time to get your head around this before having to deal with other people's prejudices.

For anyone else, practise a calm reply about it being an invisible illness but nevertheless very real and that if they aren't going to be supportive that you would prefer not to discuss it.

Put any thoughts of anything that is being said behind your back well out of your mind. There are always those who will act like that. At the end of this you should at least know who your true friends are.

And you have the forum here. Not the same as real life support I know. But we do at least understand what you are going through.

 

[Lady Organic]

Hi there, I feel so sorry you have to go through these types of attitudes. If this would be happening to me, I'd be the one rejecting and taking distance from these people. I have no tolerance for such attitudes in my relationships. Its not necessary to have many friends in life, 2 or 3 real ones is enough, even 1 can do. people you can trust and you know they wont judge you. We cant possibly be ''connected'' with too many people. As your name includes 91, I imagine you are in your early 20's and maybe have many ''friends'' or social network. With the years and your actual experience you will get to recognize and connect and probably have fewer friends, but better friends who will respect you and you can count on at any time, good and difficult times. I hope you can find one or 2 in your friend circle you feel more connection with. Cultivate with them, share your emotions concerning what you have just expressed here and avoid the others. these people who talk behind your back creating scenarios about you or you judge you are not quality friends and sometimes its better for them not to have access to your private life. good luck

 

[Cross-stitch gal]

I'm afraid there's not much more that I can say in which these two have already mentioned. There's a young adult support group on here and I'm including the link for you if you're interested in joining. Otherwise, all I can offer is that there are many of us here on the forum and there's usually at least someone on here to talk to all hours of the day or night. So, please take advantage of this! Sending you lots of hugs.

http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?t=57196

 

[gadgetninjette91]

Thank you all for your support. Unfortunately, the way my friends are, once one person knows, it becomes everybody else's business. Yes, I'm 23, so maybe that's just part of being my age, but it also says a lot about the people who are supposed to be my so-called friends. There are definitely people I can talk to and confide in, but ultimately I can't control what people say about me behind my back which sucks. But I am very blessed to have found this forum and to have found people who get it because most people just don't.

 

[Tubes]

Thank you all for your support. Unfortunately, the way my friends are, once one person knows, it becomes everybody else's business. Yes, I'm 23, so maybe that's just part of being my age, but it also says a lot about the people who are supposed to be my so-called friends. There are definitely people I can talk to and confide in, but ultimately I can't control what people say about me behind my back which sucks. But I am very blessed to have found this forum and to have found people who get it because most people just don't.

I know what your going through and it's not fun I got sick when I was 11 and for almost a year no one believed me parents,doctors and friends even though I was barely 60lbs. And an odd shade of yellow,Finnally I passed out at school and they Finnally did some tests at 1st they thought it was UC but it was FULL BLOWN CROHN'S(the name of my crappy band that had shockingly zero success)I was 12 and out of school 2 months and with the various meds and especially steroids put on 80 to 100lbs. In a short time frame and shocking teenage kids are not understanding.at the end of 8th grade they took me off steroids and before I started high school lost the excess weight and started anew but got really sick again sophomore year got down to 112lbs. Was out of school a couple months and got put back on steroids and ballooned up to 215lbs. Which got lots of rumors starts by friends and not friends alike.

 

[gadgetninjette91]

I know what your going through and it's not fun I got sick when I was 11 and for almost a year no one believed me parents,doctors and friends even though I was barely 60lbs. And an odd shade of yellow,Finnally I passed out at school and they Finnally did some tests at 1st they thought it was UC but it was FULL BLOWN CROHN'S(the name of my crappy band that had shockingly zero success)I was 12 and out of school 2 months and with the various meds and especially steroids put on 80 to 100lbs. In a short time frame and shocking teenage kids are not understanding.at the end of 8th grade they took me off steroids and before I started high school lost the excess weight and started anew but got really sick again sophomore year got down to 112lbs. Was out of school a couple months and got put back on steroids and ballooned up to 215lbs. Which got lots of rumors starts by friends and not friends alike.

I feel the struggle. People can be so cruel sometimes. I lost a good 40 pounds in the last year from the Crohn's, usually between 10-20 pounds at a time. Didn't help that my now ex-boyfriend was using drugs behind my back (hence why we're now broken up) and people knew (everyone but me apparently as I am blind to the signs of drug addiction) so it was reflected back on me pretty badly even though I've never used any kind of hard drugs. But the good news is that the people who know you best and truly know what you're going through will be your best support (and more often than not defend your weight loss as being due to an illness and not a drug addiction). That's why I'm glad to have found this forum and am very thankful for my friends who have stuck up for me and know what's really going on. Hang in there.