• Welcome to Crohn's Forum, a support group for people with all forms of IBD. While this community is not a substitute for doctor's advice and we cannot treat or diagnose, we find being able to communicate with others who have IBD is invaluable as we navigate our struggles and celebrate our successes. We invite you to join us.

Lack of consideration

Happens everytime.....every year, as soon as spring rolls around my symptoms increase and I'm still undiagnosed.
Today when I plucked up the courage to tell someone I wasn't feeling that great...I got the response "well, you look alright to me!" Maybe they should accompany me on one of my many bathroom visits, or care enough to be aware of the constant daily fight to remain awake and social despite the severity of the anemia. I don't complain, I avoid wincing when the pain gets bad, I disguise my faintness by bending over to 're-tie' my shoes, I struggle to make sure I'm happy and social when others are around, I don't inflict my depression on others. So why...when I make one rare whine regarding how I'm feeling...am I made to feel that once again I'm just attention seeking or it's all in my imagination? To someone with no diagnosis it's just a slap in the face!
Thanks for letting me vent!


Staff member
this happens a lot and it is too bad that people think they know how someone feels by looking at them.
Someone with a fevver can have a really good color!!
Just have to ignore the ignorance.
It is just impossible to know how someone is feeling and a little sympathy can go a long way.
So sorry you were treated in this way.
Hope you are feeling better


I've had that remark too, and to be fair, I DO look alright!
But that's not to say my insides are looking that good!
You've just got to harden up, and always have a quip back.
I remember someone saying to me, about my weight, 'Thought you people were skinny?' blah blah blah (you people? WTF?)
I quipped back with sheer sarcasm, 'Look, I can lose this weight, but you'll always be ugly!'

Read my signature line, and always remember it!


Yes Joan...and the famous quote by Winston Churchill to a woman who said: "Sir, you are DRUNK!!!" He said "Yes madam, you are ugly, and in the morning, I will be sober!!"

To all who are undiagnosed, treated disrespectfully, and not only by Dr's, I say we collaboratively....stick one finger on both hands up!!! (sing that to slim shady)

Oh yeah, the classic - "Sorry to hear you're ill, but hey, you look fine to me". Heard it so many times. Rest assured, same-old-thing, it does go on even after diagnosis.

A few variations I've endured throughout the years:
"Don't worry about the weight you lost, you look better like this" (yeah, who cares about malnutrition?);
"You should be more careful with what you eat - some salads, vegetables..." (I would die!...)
or the absolute classic:
"You should get more rest and lead a stress-free life, you'll see the symptoms will ease up" (the stress mostly comes from the illness, not the opposite. Besides, some of my worst flare-ups happened during summer vacation, while doing nothing at all).

Usually people are trying to help, but using generic trivia rarely helps, bless 'em.
lol! Astra101, that's the kind of thing I say in my head but am never brave enough to say out loud...one day I will! haha!

same-old-thing, It's horrible for people to be so uncaring, but don't let the buggers bring you down. It might be because they are the type of person who is so self absorbed that they only think aboot themselves or have been lucky enough not to have to suffer any on-going illnesses, and therefore don't even realise how unsympathetic and damaging their comments are. I've have comments like that which have really brought me down but I now try to take them as compliments of my strength to hide my symptoms and not burden others. Otherwise I might have ended up punching someone lol ;)

Siobhan xx


ha ha Misty! Cooooooool joke, love it!

Dead right nomad!

What we need, as Crohnies, is a universal/international/world wide quip!