Hi guys. Normally I don't get on medical social forums, but I've heard good things about here, and thought I'd give it a go.
I'm sure you all get sob stories every day, and why should another one matter? Well, it doesn't. I don't know you, and you don't know me. I just felt I have to get this out somewhere.
I was diagnosed with Crohn's when I was 16. I was taking my high school exams at the time, and went to the ER on friday night, spent the next few days in hospital with severe dehydration and muscle loss and loss of energy. I was on 8 hour antibiotics and underwent minor surgery. I got out as soon as I could, and sat my next exam the wednesday morning following that earlier friday.
Why? Because I refused to believe that me, 16 with all the hope in the world was going to be diagnosed with an incurable disease. I went to my part time job that weekend and threw up in the staff toilet twice during the day. Forced myself through the second day, and ended up in ER the day on the monday.
Since then, I've shoved it to the back of my mind. I was on steriods, which caused horrific weight loss then Prednisone, which caused weight gain, Omazparole (or something), and finally, Humira.
I got through the remaining few years of high school and the first few years of Uni by ignoring the fact I have a life altering disease.
Now I'm 20, and about to finish Uni. I'm scared, more than anyone else near to me knows. I was going to be in the Airforce, then the Military Police. Those options and many others are gone now, thanks to Crohns.
I may have a chance to join the Police, but its not all I wanted and not something I can do forever. I'm considering an OE or something to get travelling again, but I can't see any way to do what I want to do with my life.
Basically, I'm facing a future of living with my own inadequacy, the timebomb of Humira starting to fail and the improbability of having a family, as I'd never want to inflict what I feel and/or the results of it upon anyone else, least of all children.
I'm more angry than anything else right now, because at the end of the day, its all down to me. I'm the useless one, the inadequacy is my own body's fault. I can't live the meaningful life I once dreamed of, and all the dreams I had are shattered by a world with rapidly closing doors.
I worked so hard in the Cadet Forces, High school and Uni to achieve the grades everyone keeps telling me I'll need to succeed, but in the end, it was all worthless.
Its like I've failed the test of life, and I'm only supposed to be just starting.
I tried my best.
I'm sure you all get sob stories every day, and why should another one matter? Well, it doesn't. I don't know you, and you don't know me. I just felt I have to get this out somewhere.
I was diagnosed with Crohn's when I was 16. I was taking my high school exams at the time, and went to the ER on friday night, spent the next few days in hospital with severe dehydration and muscle loss and loss of energy. I was on 8 hour antibiotics and underwent minor surgery. I got out as soon as I could, and sat my next exam the wednesday morning following that earlier friday.
Why? Because I refused to believe that me, 16 with all the hope in the world was going to be diagnosed with an incurable disease. I went to my part time job that weekend and threw up in the staff toilet twice during the day. Forced myself through the second day, and ended up in ER the day on the monday.
Since then, I've shoved it to the back of my mind. I was on steriods, which caused horrific weight loss then Prednisone, which caused weight gain, Omazparole (or something), and finally, Humira.
I got through the remaining few years of high school and the first few years of Uni by ignoring the fact I have a life altering disease.
Now I'm 20, and about to finish Uni. I'm scared, more than anyone else near to me knows. I was going to be in the Airforce, then the Military Police. Those options and many others are gone now, thanks to Crohns.
I may have a chance to join the Police, but its not all I wanted and not something I can do forever. I'm considering an OE or something to get travelling again, but I can't see any way to do what I want to do with my life.
Basically, I'm facing a future of living with my own inadequacy, the timebomb of Humira starting to fail and the improbability of having a family, as I'd never want to inflict what I feel and/or the results of it upon anyone else, least of all children.
I'm more angry than anything else right now, because at the end of the day, its all down to me. I'm the useless one, the inadequacy is my own body's fault. I can't live the meaningful life I once dreamed of, and all the dreams I had are shattered by a world with rapidly closing doors.
I worked so hard in the Cadet Forces, High school and Uni to achieve the grades everyone keeps telling me I'll need to succeed, but in the end, it was all worthless.
Its like I've failed the test of life, and I'm only supposed to be just starting.
I tried my best.