Limericks: Rhyme a Line at a Time

[scottsma]

whose bowel was a bit of a gusher

 

[Grumbletum]

After days on the loo

 

[scottsma]

and pucking up too

 

[scottsma]

ps.spelt puke wrong but you know what i mean

 

[Robert747]

Well don't you just love her

 

[Wallath]

who

 

[scottsma]

Well don't you just love her

Is that the last line or was it a question ?:ybatty:

 

[Robert747]

Well Carol - I was tired and it was the best I could do.... Russia -
Love her.....not great. However we do need to start again now.

 

[Grumbletum]

Limericks: they can be quite tricky

( that's me starting again btw! )

 

[CLynn]

Some can even be icky

 

[Robert747]

However ours receive praise

 

[CLynn]

And the stakes we raise

 

[Grumbletum]

Tho some folks keep taking the mickey.

( you KNOW who you are! Lol )

 

[Wallath]

isn't this funny said thee with a grin

 

[Robert747]

How she gets dizzy drinking sloe gin

 

[scottsma]

It's not only Gin that she likes to imbibe

 

[CLynn]

In fact, there isn't much she hasn't tried

 

[scottsma]

and when she is tipsy she makes such a din

 

[CLynn]

The neighbors, they growl

 

[scottsma]

the cats they do howl

 

[Grumbletum]

And I'm sick of getting no sleep

 

[scottsma]

so on go the tunes

 

[Grumbletum]

And I drown out those loons

 

[CLynn]

With my trusty earbuds

 

[Robert747]

That was officially the worst limerick ever - you lot!!!
Let's try really hard for this next one

 

[CLynn]

Such a critic....wow, that hurts...wounds me deeply.

 

[scottsma]

there once was a hedgehog called Bertie

 

[CLynn]

He was, I'm afraid, not too pretty

 

[scottsma]

he fell down a drain

 

[CLynn]

But his leg caught in the chain

 

[Robert747]

and now they call him Gertie

 

[CLynn]

Lmao!!!!

 

[Robert747]

see - we can do it if we try

 

[Trysha]

Yes---not very good---must try harder!

There once was a peregrine falcon

 

[scottsma]

who after his bath put some talc on

 

[CLynn]

He loved the new smell

 

[Grumbletum]

By his smile you could tell

 

[Trysha]

He had conquered his pretty girl falcon

 

[Robert747]

Brilliant - all the best ones don't include me...hmmmm

 

[scottsma]

Brilliant - all the best ones don't include me...hmmmm

Well for goodness sake man,instead of telling us we're rubbish,join in or at least start a new one instead of just making a comment.Or are you scared? :lol2: There once was a stirer from Plymouth

 

[CLynn]

Whose head was behemoth

 

[scottsma]

he teased and he taunted

 

[CLynn]

And then he flaunted

 

[Jessi]

Then ran to the loo for pink bismuth.

 

[Robert747]

There was a young man who played golf

 

[Jessi]

Sharing plaid pants with his mate Rolph

 

[scottsma]

he teed off in style

 

[Grumbletum]

The ball soared for a mile

 

[yeldarb49]

and in the "end" it made no Diff...

 

[Wallath]

because

 

[Grumbletum]

While watching 'the Apprentice' last night

 

[Robert747]

I had the most terrible fright

 

[Grumbletum]

Seeing Ricky Martin in the ring

 

[scottsma]

what on earth are you lot playing at???????? and you Robert i particular,well I'm speechless.You won't hear from me again until you all pull yourselves together. (and you can stop cheering)

 

[CLynn]

I agree, Carol. And really, I mean, who shares pants? Plaid ones at that! LOL!

 

[Trysha]

There once was a cricket named blue

 

[CLynn]

Who came down with a bad case of the flu

 

[scottsma]

he went to his bed

 

[CLynn]

Not quite right in his head

 

[scottsma]

and he only got up for the loo

 

[CLynn]

Blue had a friend named Eloise

 

[scottsma]

who was itching because she had fleas

 

[Robert747]

She pulled on her plaid pants

 

[scottsma]

to the vets she did dance

 

[Trysha]

And treatment for fleas that did please

 

[CLynn]

There once was a man named Virgil

 

[Robert747]

who swallowed the magic wish pill

 

[Grumbletum]

Then he pulled on his plaid pants

 

[CLynn]

and wished for a fashion sense, by chance

 

[Grumbletum]

Or a kilt for a look that an kill

 

[Trysha]

there once was a fellow in green

 

[Robert747]

whose plaid pants had to be seen

 

[Grumbletum]

The green was bright lime

 

[CLynn]

And a pink stripe was very sublime

 

[scottsma]

and the girls were incredibly keen

 

[Robert747]

There was a young lady out walking her dog

 

[Wallath]

when oh my! she spotted a.......

 

[CLynn]

a hog

 

[scottsma]

she ran to the house to fetch it some food

 

[CLynn]

But the darned animal was acting lewd

 

[scottsma]

so she took to her heels and did jog

 

[scottsma]

There once was a chap who thought he was smart

 

[CLynn]

And to many people, did his wisdom depart

 

[Robert747]

still on he went

 

[CLynn]

and ears he bent

 

[scottsma]

But the people ignored him,they thought he was daft

 

[scottsma]

A smart a**e from Plymouth,some lies he did tell

 

[CLynn]

There once was a man who spouted LIES!!

 

[scottsma]

Great minds think alike Cheryl

 

[CLynn]

Mmmmm hmmmm!!!

 

[Robert747]

Hey that limerick just does not work!

 

[Trysha]

there was a young lady from Ealing

 

[scottsma]

whose left cheek had no feeling

 

[scottsma]

Hey that limerick just does not work!

get off,nobodys speaking to you tonight:ymad:

 

[Grumbletum]

Oooo...errrr

 

[scottsma]

whose left cheek had no feeling

so she rubbed on some cream

 

[CLynn]

Then let out a scream!!!

 

[Trysha]

the effects were not very appealing!

 

[Wallath]

oh! oh! no

 

[Jessi]

There once was a store in France