Losing my faith in humanity

[lulu2]

Ok, so I'm not naive... I know that people aren't perfect and that life can be (and often is) cruel......

But

The amount of people on here who don't seem to have people around them who care or support them is actually heart wrenching and I'm genuinely losing some faith in humanity!!!

So, lets have a nice thread from people who have had some good support and stories of that!

And people who dont have good support, come on this thread for some virtual hugs and know you're not alone and although this is just words on a screen, they're heartfelt and the people here DO care and understand!!!

xxx

 

[Cat-a-Tonic]

Great thread idea, Lulu.

I'd like to call out a close friend as being really supportive of me. She and I met in December 2009, a few months after I had first become ill. She had just started dating (now engaged to) one of my husband's best friends. Hubby had already met her and he thought she and I would get along well, so we invited the two of them over for dinner one day. I was having a bad day and didn't eat much at dinner, and I apologized and explained to her that I have been ill and my doctor thinks it could be Crohn's. She instantly understood - she was having similar health issues herself and also being tested for Crohn's, and her mother also has Crohn's, so she completely knew what I was going through. At that point, we pretty much became instant best friends and have been close ever since.

She got diagnosed with Crohn's a few months after we met, and I'm still undiagnosed. But we compare stories, meds, symptoms, etc. Don't get me wrong, I love this forum and don't know what I'd do without it. But, it's amazing to have someone "in real life" to talk to one-on-one about everything I'm going through. I don't know how I'd get through this without her or without you guys! She and this forum are the two biggest supports I've had since I've been ill. She is awesome and you guys are too!

 

[lulu2]

It's great that you have such an amazing friend!! She sounds like a gem!!

I also have an amazing friend, who although is very healthy (thankfully, I would NEVER wish this on anyone) she has been v supportive! Even came round to revise with me from my bed during this latest flare! In fact I have so many excellent friends who all rallied round me in hospital recently! I'm very lucky to have caring people in my life! And this weekend Im going to visit my parents for a bit of TLC after being so sick recently. (They didnt come visit me because I told them not to, with being ill in hospital and still sitting my final exams I couldnt handle the stress or pressure of them coming all the way up to see me cos we live in different areas).

 

[Rebecca85]

I would like to thank my boyfriend, who took great care of me when I was first diagnosed, has been my metaphorical punching bag, and literal shoulder to cry on, and supported me financially when I was struggling with work. He's not a big one for talking about feelings and stuff (I have you guys for that, anyway) but you know what they say, actions speak louder than words!

 

[25times]

I have a pretty amazing supprt system here, and I'm constantly wishing I could share them with everyone who is dealing with unsupportive partners/parents/friends. My boyfriend often supports me financially, when I can't work. He also tries to read alot about crohns, and help me find natural remedies to help. He also never judges me when I shit my pants or lose my mind for no reason. I'm so thankful for him.
My mom has been really good through this also. From yelling at doctors, to telling me off when I need it. She understands my pain, but also knows that I can exaggerate.
My dad is very stone faced and no-nonsense, but when i was in the hospital, he insisted on coming to be with me. He always asks me how I'm feeling, and genuinely cares. I can speak openly with him about my massive bowel movements, fissures, and accidents.
My little brother (15) is very concerned about my health. He's always asking if I'm gonna need surgery and if he can come to the hospital next time. He is also very interested in joining a research experiment here, called the GEM project. When he found out he wasn't qualified to join, he was very upset and asked if there was anything else I could do.

I have tons of friends who are also very supportive of me, and concerned abotu my health. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have everyone. I hope that you all have a great support system too, because it does make it alot easier.

 

[littlemissh]

I have a great husband and children but the best big sister ...ever. She is just brilliant, caring , kind hearted ( she even stopped the traffic the other day to help a bird who had hurt its wing and had to chase it round the road to catch it..bet the other drivers thought she had lost her marbles!!) We have always looked out for each other from being little and I don't think that will ever change!

 

[ambermeghan]

My husband has been very supportive. He always listens to my ramblings and frustrations. Sometimes the best thing is when he brings me water and my handful of pills.

When I was on a liquid diet for a month, my parents and sil decided they would do it with me. They are several states away, but it was so nice to have someone who understood.

 

[Bren]

Besides this Crohn's forum i have only had my Husband and my Daughters who support me through thick and thin. My family is far far away and my bestest friends ever. They cared for not only me but made sure my Husband & children were cared for when i was so very ill. I miss them so much that i burst into Love tears and my heart aches when i send them an air hug. I know they get it too cause it is not long b4 i get a small stream of sms's. Now that is faith hey?

You guys have given me a sence of pride again. I used to feel really filthy accidently pooping my panty cause i had to Q for the Loo or going off my rocker for the pain of it. oo:
I really felt lonely. :yfrown: n blue. I do not know anyone in "Flesh and Blood" that has Crohn's. To this very day i still have never met up with anyone in Holland either.
So my Crohn's ees!! :rosette2: Thank you to you all for giving me peace of mind. Help Guidence... God Bless Ya All i feel NORMAL. :ybiggrin:

 

[BrendaJ]

I have a wonderful husband who tries to be as understanding as he can. We separated in Sept 2010 just before all the symptoms started and we worked things out three months later, with our marriage being stronger. Unfortunately, a month after he returned home, I was put in the hospital and given the Crohn's diagnosis. It has been a roller coaster ride since then and I worried our marriage may not survive this, but he has been great and he is even pushing me to close my home daycare and take the summer off to have a break and rest. He does not care about the lost income. He says my health is worth it. It is hard because my parents are both passed away and my siblings ask about my health, but only call once in a while. My one brother actually has Crohn's as well, but he does not really try to give me much support. Thank goodness for my caring husband and daughter.

 

[shamrock15]

Love the idea for the thread!

Firstly - Mom, Dad, brother and sister. They saw me through the first 15 years or so. Actually got to the point that I had to kick my parents out of the hospital a couple times because they were there so much. Definitely a nice problem to have!

My wife - made a point of not marrying her until she saw what a bad attack would look like just so she would know what she could be getting into. A great idea - when we came back on a trip from Europe, I went straight from the airport to the hospital for the week, and she was there all the time. The bigger test came after we got married. Less than a month after the big date, into hospital I went. 40 days later I was finally home. She was there every day, working two jobs, setting up the home we had only been in for a month. Not once in all this time have I heard "remember all the time..."

Thanks Blanka!

 

[silvermander]

My boyfriend is amazing. And I have to say his kids have really stepped up to the plate. They're 17, 14 and 7, but have dealt really well with things like me being in the hospital over Christmas (2009).

About a week ago my bf walked into the living room and saw a strange look on my face and asked what was up. The middle kid looked at his father and said, "She's in pain! Leave her alone! Geeze, even I knew that!" It was teenage attitude, but meant so much.

I also have a wonderful friend (my younger teen and her older teen are dating - arg!) who has an obscure kidney disease. She goes to dialysis three times a week and understands dealing with pain, not being able to do all you want due to health issues and how much fun it is to go under the knife.

My Mom has Crohn's and seems to know when I need to be coddled and when I need a good kick in the bum. Living in a house with only one bathroom was a terrible thing, but we muddled through without having to use the bushes.

But with all these wonderful people in my life, Ellie takes the cake. When she was a teenager her father wasn't being much of a father. She was very unhappy and heading down a wrong track. Not drugs, sex or booze - her father was was a great bad example - just lazy, letting the world pass her, not looking to college or her future. I took her in and gave her all the parenting I could. At times she fought me - the whole 'You're not my Mom!' stuff, but a couple years ago she had an emotional Mother's Day. She wrote a long letter (on facebook) to every woman who helped her grow up. She ended it saying that I am her Mom. I'm just barely old enough to biologically be her mother, by like two months. Even though she's legally an adult, we're starting the adoption process. This means so much more to me because I made the decision when I was 16 that I wasn't going to have kids of my own. Looking through my maternal family is a who's who of Crohn's, IBD, IBS, etc. That this girl chose me to be her mom means so much more than I could ever explain.

One of the funniest (peculiar, not haha funny) is that Ellie had cancer when she was 4 years old. I think it was ganglioneuroblastoma. The removed her spleen, galbladder and the tail of her pancreas (which mostly grew back). But from all of that she has potty issues very similar to mine. We joke how I decided to not have any kids of my own, but I still ended up with a kid with screwed up insides. Even just thinking about her makes me smile. Thanks for starting this thread!

 

[xJillx]

I would like to thank my husband for always being there for me. He goes to every doctor's appointment and every test. He picks up the slack around the house when I am not feeling well. And he makes me the best omelets when I can't eat much else!

Also, I'd like to thank my mom. She always listens to me when I don't feel good and need someone to talk to. But, when I am having one of my famous pity parties, she can always get me to stop feeling sorry for myself and to remember all the great things in my life.

 

[itsMeFred]

My husband has been my best friend for nearly 20 years.
He recently told me that we'll be OK. He promised he'll get a chair lift for our stairs when I'm too weak to walk up them.
Though, much like the autolock/unlock he got for our pickup, whether he actually gets it installed or not is debatable. In which case, he'll carry me up and down the stairs as needed.
He doesn't go with me to every appointment, but he tells me every time that he will I want him to.

My mom and I have never been really close, but she has been letting me lean pretty heavy lately.
This diagnosis really shook DH up. He's used to me being just as strong as he is and it really threw him for a loop to see me knocked low. So while he was floundering, trying to get his bearings, just like me, my mom kind of propped us both up.
I sent her a nice, sappy Mom's Day card and said I appreciated it, too.

Those are my big two, but I have a pretty good extended circle, too. One of my dearest friends has had RA for about 15 years, so she's been completely supportive. And another friend has recently been diagnosed with lupus, so we compare notes on the "newness" of all this... And my church. We're a really small congregation, so everyone keeps pretty close tabs on each other.
I'm blessed and I know it!