Mums on Holiday, coping on my own.

[Holly]

My mum went on her first foreign holiday in 30 years a week ago, and she's due back in 5 days, my dad (as lovely as he is) is useless!
He won't wash/cook/clean (he won't even have the heating on) and living in Manchester in the UK. It's chilly!
So I have adopted the role of mum even though she told my Dad to do that- he hasn't really. I'm working two jobs juggling Univesity and placements for University whilst running a house?
Okay I know loads of you will think it's a taste of real life, and I suppose it is.

But, my Dad said one thing he would take care of is the meals and so far 3 nights out of 5 we had Kebabs, another night he went to a chip shop (I didn't have that) and the other night I cooked!

So my Crohns is up the WALL!
Today (Saturday 8:30am) I had a Crohns 'accident' probably due to all this crap food. I was due in work in 15 minutes. My Dad was out working, I was completely on my own!
I had never dealt with this before (spoilt brat alert) My mum had always been here to help me. Aged 20 I shit myself and I had no idea what to do!

Stripped my bed, the bathroom, all of my clothes and threw them in the washer, had to ring work to say I'd be late. Cried down the phone to one of my colleagues at my pure embarrassment of the situation.

Now I'm sat here, everything's clean. I've coped with it.
I need to get off to work.
But I realise now how much having family around you can help with a condition like this.

Never thought this was how I'd start my Saturday Morning!

 

[xX_LittleMissValentine_Xx]

Sorry to hear you have had a tough week hun! But it sounds like you have handled it well and you should be proud of that.
It really does make you appreciate your mum doesn't it. When I was at uni I coped pretty well without my parents, but when your not well it is so much harder. There were times I was crying down the phone. You just don't realise how much they do when you have to do it all yourself. If I wasn't well I just wouldn't eat because there was no one there persuading me to try things and cook up strange recipes I might like. (at my worst mum came up with pasta in warm milk with a tiny bit of cheese and nutmeg - plain flavours and strangely comforting/refreshing).

My Dad is also quite useless without mum, I worry about the things he makes when he is cooking dinner. Its not really fair that you have had to end up looking after him while your mum was away, you might have found you got on better if you were completely on your own.

Give your mum a big hug when she gets home x x

 

[UnXmas]

I think it's very common to feel reliant on our parents when trying to handle living independently for the first time, no matter what age you are when you start doing things on your own.

The first time I was living away, I phoned my mum in tears because I also had an "accident". I threw all the bedclothes and my pyjamas in the bathtub, and then called my mum to ask her how I was supposed to clean all this up! And when I was at uni, I thought at first I must be the only one feeling homesick. But after speaking with various friends, almost all of them admitted to tearful phone calls to their mums. Well the girls did anyway. Guys didn't admit to it, but I suspect some may have done so as well and just didn't want to own up to it.

You'll learn to manage, both emotionally and practically. And with Crohn's, we have to deal with things that most healthy people don't, so it's even more natural to struggle without parents' help. But most parents will still be there to offer advice, even if it's over the phone or by e-mail, even when their children are well out of childhood.

 

[Hope345]

As a mom of a teen, my heart goes out to you. Your dad may really have no idea what to cook, so it would not hurt to say, " I am so glad you are here and I do need your help. I am not feeling well and I have to be very careful what i put in my body right now. This is what I can eat ____________ " Most men do not have the nurturing gene we females possess.

You sound like such an amazing young woman.