I appologize in advance for the rant, which may come across as me being a whiner, but need to get this off my chest, don't have anyone around that I can talk to.
So today I got my annual evaluation at work. I was sick for 70% of the last reporting period, so I fully expected it to be lower than last year's, which it was. Didn't mean that it hurt any less, but it was expected.
So then my boss proceeds to tell me that despite my lower evaluation than last year, I still have potential to progress. Because I have been in my dark and twisty place for the past few weeks and can't seem to get myself out of the funk, I proceeded to tell her that once the decison comes from the medical ppl, my career is done, so my potential doesn't really matter (I'm in the military for those who don't know).
Then she tells me "well you don't know, things could completely turn around and you could stay in" read between the lines, magic cure. What part of lifetime chronic illness does she not understand? Yes, physically things have turned around, thanks to Remicade, which makes me undeployable therefore unemployable. That frustrated me.
But the part that insulted me was this. I'm suppose to change positions this summer. Because of my medical category, I can't be posted, so I need to be moved within the base, but I haven't been told where yet. My boss told me that it was felt that I didn't have enough admin experience for the positions I was I initially considered for, which is BS because I probably have more expeience than any of the other ppl being considered, so basically it means that nobody wants me to work for them. I know my boss has dragged my reputation through the mud, but also it's likely that nobody wants the sick girl. I have never felt so inadequate in my life.
So today I got my annual evaluation at work. I was sick for 70% of the last reporting period, so I fully expected it to be lower than last year's, which it was. Didn't mean that it hurt any less, but it was expected.
So then my boss proceeds to tell me that despite my lower evaluation than last year, I still have potential to progress. Because I have been in my dark and twisty place for the past few weeks and can't seem to get myself out of the funk, I proceeded to tell her that once the decison comes from the medical ppl, my career is done, so my potential doesn't really matter (I'm in the military for those who don't know).
Then she tells me "well you don't know, things could completely turn around and you could stay in" read between the lines, magic cure. What part of lifetime chronic illness does she not understand? Yes, physically things have turned around, thanks to Remicade, which makes me undeployable therefore unemployable. That frustrated me.
But the part that insulted me was this. I'm suppose to change positions this summer. Because of my medical category, I can't be posted, so I need to be moved within the base, but I haven't been told where yet. My boss told me that it was felt that I didn't have enough admin experience for the positions I was I initially considered for, which is BS because I probably have more expeience than any of the other ppl being considered, so basically it means that nobody wants me to work for them. I know my boss has dragged my reputation through the mud, but also it's likely that nobody wants the sick girl. I have never felt so inadequate in my life.
