I’ve rewritten the post about twenty times already. I don’t know whether I’m introducing myself or just flat out ranting to the community that has grown to accept their/our fate. Either way, I’m Sean. :sign0144:
Anywho, I’ve lurked this site on and off for a year or so and I’ve never really gotten active within forum. I was in denial. I thought I would be just fine; I will wake up tomorrow and I won’t be sick. I lived the latter part of last year just thinking it was normal to be in pain after eating. It just kept getting worse and worse until I thought I was actually having an appendicitis. I remember that morning so well, it was July of last year, I was on my way to work and I knew something wasn’t right, it felt like I was running a micro-auschwitz camp inside my stomach. I made a split second decision to just go to the hospital; I believed I was really having a appendicitis. To make a long story short, I ended up staying in the hospital for about two weeks and the doctors couldn’t figure out what was going on. In the end, they kept claiming it was a bacterial infection. (Side note: the GI was kind of a a**hole, he had a golf vacation scheduled the day after, and didn’t want to me to get a colonoscopy because he “knew” it was bacteria)
After two weeks of IV drugs and pain medicine I thought I was superman, I was more then ready to get home. I was finally free from that cold building they call a hospital and thought all my abdomen and tummy issues were all done with, but little did I know. Fast forward to December - I still wasn’t feeling right; I couldn’t imagine a bacterial infection coming back and lasting this long. I picked myself up and finally made an appointment to see a real GI. After lots of tests, scans, blood work, and two colonoscopies we came to the conclusion that it was Crohns.
As usual, I went through the normal medication trials to see what works for me. I’ve tried a couple of drugs, but my doctor feels it’s time to move up towards a more aggressive treatment at this point. I’m currently on Lialda, omeprazole, chlo/clid(Librax), oxycodone(Only when needed, I hate pain killers), and now 6mp. I saw my GI yesterday and she really feels that I need 6mp at this point. I’m looking at the bottle right now and honestly, it creeps me out. I’m a 21, I’ve always been in great shape and I’ve always looked after my health. This is beyond inane; I would never imagine being in this position. Chemo pills? Really? Sometimes I just wish I could close my eyes really tight and just forget this is all happening. Sometimes it works, but then life reminds me otherwise. I have to keep reminding myself that the 6mp is such a low dosage of chemo that it really can’t cause too much damage, but I guess the stigma of chemo itself is what’s really dancing with my mind. I haven't taken it yet as I'm working the graveyard shift right now(which is rare) and I don't know how I'll feel on it. So I didn't want to chance it. I'll take my first dosage tomorrow night
I’m just scared because I’m also finding it hard to maintain a real balance between work and my crohns. I’ve been missing a lot of days from work - if it’s a good week I’ll probably be able to work 4 days or so. I have to call out about one or two days every week. I work the front desk at a 4 star hotel. So you can only imagine what kind of song and tap dance I have to do for these people while I’m feeling like I’m carrying death’s baby inside of me. On top of that, the working conditions are a little rough at times, like no sitting in front of guest and things of that nature. I have been lucky enough to secure my job and my insurance with HR though. I’ve been dreaming about going back to school as well and finish my degree, but I’m nervous about my symptoms preventing me from getting anything done.
So there's my nonsensical wall of text rant. I feel a lot better just typing all of this down and posting it. Thanks.
Anywho, I’ve lurked this site on and off for a year or so and I’ve never really gotten active within forum. I was in denial. I thought I would be just fine; I will wake up tomorrow and I won’t be sick. I lived the latter part of last year just thinking it was normal to be in pain after eating. It just kept getting worse and worse until I thought I was actually having an appendicitis. I remember that morning so well, it was July of last year, I was on my way to work and I knew something wasn’t right, it felt like I was running a micro-auschwitz camp inside my stomach. I made a split second decision to just go to the hospital; I believed I was really having a appendicitis. To make a long story short, I ended up staying in the hospital for about two weeks and the doctors couldn’t figure out what was going on. In the end, they kept claiming it was a bacterial infection. (Side note: the GI was kind of a a**hole, he had a golf vacation scheduled the day after, and didn’t want to me to get a colonoscopy because he “knew” it was bacteria)
After two weeks of IV drugs and pain medicine I thought I was superman, I was more then ready to get home. I was finally free from that cold building they call a hospital and thought all my abdomen and tummy issues were all done with, but little did I know. Fast forward to December - I still wasn’t feeling right; I couldn’t imagine a bacterial infection coming back and lasting this long. I picked myself up and finally made an appointment to see a real GI. After lots of tests, scans, blood work, and two colonoscopies we came to the conclusion that it was Crohns.
As usual, I went through the normal medication trials to see what works for me. I’ve tried a couple of drugs, but my doctor feels it’s time to move up towards a more aggressive treatment at this point. I’m currently on Lialda, omeprazole, chlo/clid(Librax), oxycodone(Only when needed, I hate pain killers), and now 6mp. I saw my GI yesterday and she really feels that I need 6mp at this point. I’m looking at the bottle right now and honestly, it creeps me out. I’m a 21, I’ve always been in great shape and I’ve always looked after my health. This is beyond inane; I would never imagine being in this position. Chemo pills? Really? Sometimes I just wish I could close my eyes really tight and just forget this is all happening. Sometimes it works, but then life reminds me otherwise. I have to keep reminding myself that the 6mp is such a low dosage of chemo that it really can’t cause too much damage, but I guess the stigma of chemo itself is what’s really dancing with my mind. I haven't taken it yet as I'm working the graveyard shift right now(which is rare) and I don't know how I'll feel on it. So I didn't want to chance it. I'll take my first dosage tomorrow night
I’m just scared because I’m also finding it hard to maintain a real balance between work and my crohns. I’ve been missing a lot of days from work - if it’s a good week I’ll probably be able to work 4 days or so. I have to call out about one or two days every week. I work the front desk at a 4 star hotel. So you can only imagine what kind of song and tap dance I have to do for these people while I’m feeling like I’m carrying death’s baby inside of me. On top of that, the working conditions are a little rough at times, like no sitting in front of guest and things of that nature. I have been lucky enough to secure my job and my insurance with HR though. I’ve been dreaming about going back to school as well and finish my degree, but I’m nervous about my symptoms preventing me from getting anything done.
So there's my nonsensical wall of text rant. I feel a lot better just typing all of this down and posting it. Thanks.