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New to the Forum, Not the Disease

My name is Mike and I am 23 from Buffalo, NY. I've been living with Crohn's for a little over 4 years now but was diagnosed last year. I always knew my body was acting weird and something was wrong but never had insurance or the money to do anything about it.
I had my first colonoscopy almost a year ago. I was diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and was put on Prednisone and Asacol shortly after. The steroids helped and I was actually gaining weight and went over 150lbs for the first time in my life and I was happy to feel normal for a little bit. The doctors pulled me off the steroids because of adverse effects and put me on Asacol. I lost my weight again and any muscle mass I possibly built up and shot down to 138 lbs.
In more recent doctor visits I've been keeping myself in the mid 140's and am gaining ounces every now and then. The Asacol never worked that much but my doctor put me on Lialda a couple months ago saying it's an easier and slightly more powerful version of Asacol. My doctor told me that I should see results in a couple months. It has been a couple months and no results so my doctor is finally pulling out the Humira prescription which I turned down out of fear.
I've read about all of the bad things Humira could do to you and put it in my head that it would end up killing me. I told myself that diarrhea and running to the bathroom every hour is a hell of a lot better than lymphoma and liver failure. I've recently learned of the bad things that Crohn's can do like blockage and cancer and now I feel put into a corner with two not so great choices.
I understand Humira will help me right now and my Crohn's will pretty much die down as much as possible and make life more livable. I get that it will let me put on weight and look like a normal grown man instead of a small teen but I am scared that it will kill me. On the other hand, I am not in any pain and besides having to run to a toilet all the time everything else is normal and healthy.
I have an appointment with my doctor on the 4th about talking me into Humira and I don't know which way I can go. I came here looking to see how other more experienced people dealing with this are holding up and am looking for advice. Thanks for reading this and I am happy I found this place.
 
Hello buffalo welcome to club no one wants to join!i would go with what your doctor recommends try not to do the dr google read to much into the warning leaflets with your meds,no news is good news after all and just remember you,ll get lots of bloods done which will highlight any issues that could arise and nip them in the bud.it sounds like your having it tough with hourly runs to the loo, not good,how can you live normally with it being so bad?go with your dr,s advice get it under control,check out the forums for dietary advice,keep a diary for trigger foods and avoid.good luck
 
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