I feel sorry for myself and I'm struggling to get past
Good Day Black Cat 15,
I am sorry you reached that place, and this place.
Welcome to the forum we are pleased to have you join us for support.
As 24 hrs have past since you posted your distress,
and no one has yet responded, I will offer my 2 cents.
We have many good things to be glad about in modern Crohn's treatment.
However as of this time, the bottom line is:
Crohn's disease still has no known cause and no known cure.
Yes IBD is a very individual disease, but sooner or later we will all likely get to know fear, anxiety, pain and losses.
We have that in common.
As we try to grasp the concept that we have a horrible, incurable disease...
each must go through a process of grieving the loss of
their former "pre-Dx" life.
Crohn's is a context in which I live.
It is an awareness in my mind & with me all the time
Crohn's is unfortunately not just an attack on the physical body.
A confirmed IBD Dx is hard to get, and then once you achieve that much,
... it's hard to forget.
From the moment of my own Dx, I have not had many moments since
in which I was not on some level or another, aware that I had a disease.
Besides the physical challenges, the mental burden of IBD can be tricky too!
I was once taught by a clever IBD friend,
that after official Dx, we must go through the 5 stages of grief.
Sure you can visit these negative feelings as you work your way through all of this…
Just don’t allow yourself to get stuck feeling sorry for yourself.
Denial of our thoughts & feelings is not a good path.
Try to feel your feelings & watch them change & evolve over time.
Allow yourself to work through your current feelings.
Sure, we come together on this forum and support one another…..
but grieving the official loss of our health at Dx is a solo mission!
Yes there are alone parts to inflammatory bowel disease.
Yes there are times to be selfish in working through our thoughts & feelings.
All of that is okay, normal and sort of expected.
The universe is functioning perfectly,
and you are functioning perfectly within it!
you are not alone, even if sometimes it seems that way.
most of IBD happens on a slooow boooat.
See if you can work on resting & relaxing.
Those are crucial IBD survival skills!!!
wishing you only well,
Walt
ps:
Stress is another IBD agitator.
Don’t stay freaked-out too deep or too long!
It might provoke the monster.
You know, the monster that sometimes eats my life,
And makes me glad when he isn’t eating my life.
