Ok so I just realized that I have to accept my diagnosis of Crohn's. I was diagnosed in 1997 after losing 40 lbs passing large amounts of blood and mucus a colonoscopy and eventually passing out at work because of dehydration and anemia ironically I'm a nurse. I know a long road called denial is where I haves lived for a long time. I have been on and off multiple meds with success but when I feel better I stop taking them. Ok I know what everyone is saying first of all meds only help when u take them and secondly u are a nurse what are you thinking. So once again I'm bleeding having lost of back pain and at least 8-10 stools/explosions daily with the most recent accident yesterday on the train. I'm so embarrassed of this disease and am really disgusted with myself for having so many accidents. My husband is so supportive but it hurts me to my soul for him to help me when I have stooled all over myself. I don't know what I expect for anyone to say I really just needed to vent. Been in bed all day I work nights so I'm always exhausted but its kinda hard to determine if its the Crohn's or night shift schedule. I've been a nurse for 20 years and have always been able to keep my diagnosis under wraps until now. Help all I wanna do is cry. Trying to get appointment with GI doc which I haven't seen in 3-4 years so its not easy. Started juicing 1 month ago and it went well but had to stop because of the increased amounts of stools now I have lost 15 lbs in 1 month. Any suggestions