Turns out an affectionate cat that follows you around is really annoying when you're trying to practice mindfulness and/or pray! I had to lock the poor guy up for a while and it made him sad, he's really nervous in the way an insecure dog is. This guys previous owners must have been really bad. In the future I'll exercise him senseless before I get into that state of mind, it'll probably help relax me anyway.
Working on Kierkegaard for the first time since my psychosis took root,
Three Discourses on Imagined Occasions has taken on a new life for me, the concept of Hidden Inwardness and his ideas about our faith have a sudden and perfect clarity. The intensely personal nature of belief and one's inability to define it Faith has gone from an esoteric equation to something as simple as breathing for me. The dumping the contents of the objective world for a brief time lead to some subtle shift in mindset that I've only slowly grown to understand.
On the other hand I've largely grown away from his ideas on morality, his idea that God gave us a simple divine command to go forth and do right until he totally comes down from the sky and tells you to do otherwise seems almost childish and quaint when these decidedly libertarian ideas made sense to a less religious self. Now I see perfect, clear lines of morality, like hairline fractures in a long bone.
Trying to figure out how the deeply personal, intimate, and subjective nature of faith interlocks with an objective morality is really difficult. But then again faith is a journey, at least for me. A sequence of questions and fears that somehow end up being more reassuring then daunting.
I am sorry for getting so far up my own ass. I spend too much time thinking about silly things.
EDIT: OH MY GOD HE MEOWED FOR THE FIRST TIME. It was so cute and scratchy and tiny.