Well, I'm back again! And again I'm misearable. GI doctor told me that almost for sure I have IBS, and it's because of those goddamn antybiotics that I took for acne. Again i feel overwhelmed by guilt. This guilt and emotional rollercoaster is almost as bad as daily pain, cramping, diarrhea and other physical symptoms. I'm trying to let it go, but I just can't. If I had this IBS or whatever it is because of genetic or bad luck or something like that I think that I could be at least a little bit better. But all I can think again and again is that I could avoid it... Yea, I know that I'm whining, but god I want so bad for this guilt to go away. I'm dwelling on the past and rehasing those events that were reason I'm now sick. I was fired in last job, because I couldn't concetrace enough because of this daily pain... But I think that my mental attitude has something to do that too. Is anybody here or was in similiar situation? I mean, when guilt was literally consuming you? Any advices how to... let it go? I'm in a little bit better situation that few months before, but I feel that I have work not only on my physical symptoms but also mental status. I HAVE TO LET IT GO, I just don't know how. I quess I'm kinda this type of person, but I hope that everybody can change their attitude. I mean I try by using logic let go of guilt, but emotion are just so strong. I fear that I'm blame myself my whole life for one action, which is not logic... But I can't do anything to change that! It's so strange when youre young, everybody you know is healthy, and you're the only one with daily pain and symptoms that destroying your life... and what worse it's your fault...
If anybody is patient enough to read that - or even respond - thank you. I'm in bad place but I feel that posting here helps me at least a little bit...
Here are my previous posts http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?t=28693 (at the end of the thread)
If anybody is patient enough to read that - or even respond - thank you. I'm in bad place but I feel that posting here helps me at least a little bit...
Here are my previous posts http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?t=28693 (at the end of the thread)
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