- Joined
- Sep 17, 2019
- Messages
- 15
I have PTSD from physical and sexual child abuse and also being raped as an adult. Years ago, when I sought help for bloody diarrhea (I suspected cancer—didn’t know anything about Crohns then) my usual GP had left on maternity leave and I was stuck with a male doctor I had never seen before. Both he and his nurse were really weird. They cracked jokes during the entire exam. The doctor was really rough and didn’t use lubricant. He dismissed my symptoms and told me everything was normal. The exam made me feel so violated that I actually ran to another room and sobbed on the floor until someone told me I needed to leave. I reported the incident to my insurance company and never went anywhere near that place again. I wouldn’t even drive past it for a long time.
A couple of other GPs before this had told me nothing was wrong. One said I had fissures because of constipation. I was constipated. I’ve only been constipated a few time as a child. Almost never as an adult. Another diagnosed me with IBS and told me to limit my stress.
After the horrible exam, I decided trying to figure out what was going on wasn’t worth it. But now I’ve also been having absolutely horrendous heartburn. I was hospitalized because I couldn’t swallow without unbearable pain and was diagnosed with esophageal ulcers following an endoscopy. When asked if I had any lower GI problems, I said no because I didn’t think they were related and didn’t want to be examined.
My dermatologist wanted me to get tested for Crohns because she believes that might be why my heartburn and HS occur around the same time. She didn’t know I also have bleeding, urgent BMs, and diarrhea when I have those episodes.
I told my GP, who referred me to a GE. I’m going because, although I work from home and can manage the lower GI symptoms, the heartburn is killing me.It doesn’t respond to medication and I can’t escape the pain.
I’m terrified of being examined, though. I don’t want any part of it. I’m not suicidal, but I would almost rather die.
Any suggestions on how to deal with this fear would be welcome. I have panic attack and am worried I will have one during my appointment. I know and accept that I need to do whatever is necessary to find out what’s happening, but I can’t stop worrying about it.
A couple of other GPs before this had told me nothing was wrong. One said I had fissures because of constipation. I was constipated. I’ve only been constipated a few time as a child. Almost never as an adult. Another diagnosed me with IBS and told me to limit my stress.
After the horrible exam, I decided trying to figure out what was going on wasn’t worth it. But now I’ve also been having absolutely horrendous heartburn. I was hospitalized because I couldn’t swallow without unbearable pain and was diagnosed with esophageal ulcers following an endoscopy. When asked if I had any lower GI problems, I said no because I didn’t think they were related and didn’t want to be examined.
My dermatologist wanted me to get tested for Crohns because she believes that might be why my heartburn and HS occur around the same time. She didn’t know I also have bleeding, urgent BMs, and diarrhea when I have those episodes.
I told my GP, who referred me to a GE. I’m going because, although I work from home and can manage the lower GI symptoms, the heartburn is killing me.It doesn’t respond to medication and I can’t escape the pain.
I’m terrified of being examined, though. I don’t want any part of it. I’m not suicidal, but I would almost rather die.
Any suggestions on how to deal with this fear would be welcome. I have panic attack and am worried I will have one during my appointment. I know and accept that I need to do whatever is necessary to find out what’s happening, but I can’t stop worrying about it.