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Really really angry.

I found out that my brother has been talking about me today. Apparently, I'm lazy and just use my disease as an excuse.

I'm so angry now I actually feel sick. I can't confront him about it though because I shouldn't know.

I've tried to explain exactly what this disease does to me, and he sits there and says that he understands, then says things like this.

We haven't been particularly close in recent years, and I think this has pretty much finished it for me.
 
:(

it's probably because he just doesn't understand. i know how you feel - i just found out something really hurtful someone said about me, and like you, i can't say anything because it would cause problems for the person who told me.

let it go... that would be my advice. i know ideally people, even if they don't understand, should be more sympathetic - but not everyone is like that unfortunately.

it's your brother's failing, not yours.. & if you cut ties with him then there could be further hurt in the family - not worth it hun.

but ((hugs)). i know how u feel.
 

GoJohnnyGo

One Badass Dude
Nothing much you can do about how other people think. It's unfortunate that it happens with family members, though. I know what that's like. I have a brother who, even even seeing me in a hospital bed recovering from multiple surgeries called me melodramatic.

It's the type of condition that really tests personal credibilty. All you can really do is to cherish those who are resolutely and steadfastly on your side.
 

My Butt Hurts

Squeals-a-lot!
That sucks. A lot of people just don't get it. Could you cut-n-paste some "testimonials" of what a crappy (did I say that?) disease this is, and mail it to him with a note on it - 'read when you have some time to understand this'.
 
MaskdMarvl said:
He is hating on the attention that your getting. That is his disease.
I'd love to swap with him.

My Butt Hurts said:
That sucks. A lot of people just don't get it. Could you cut-n-paste some "testimonials" of what a crappy (did I say that?) disease this is, and mail it to him with a note on it - 'read when you have some time to understand this'.
I've been tempted to do this before (for both him and my mother). I just don't know if it would get through to them.

The worst part of explaining is that they both tend to start smirking when I get annoyed trying to explain.

*sigh* I think I'm ranting :(
 
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My Butt Hurts

Squeals-a-lot!
Ranting is okay!
That's what we are here for.

What I want to know is how the heck did I turn into a ventriloquist with MaskdMarvel on my lap talking? (above quote)
 

GoJohnnyGo

One Badass Dude
Yeah, it's almost too bad there's no such thing as "reverse intervention."

Like how family and friends gather to convince a person they've got a substance abuse problem, except this version would be gathering your doctors and supportive people to convince the doubters you've got an illness.
 
If it was my brother, I'd probably end up shitting in his shoe.

However that wouldn't be enough to give my brother what he deserves, so I'll shut up about him.

I actually had my mechanic at work come in and talk to me this past week as on the radio someone was talking about Crohns, and he was saying he thought I was making all that crazy talk and disease up. Now, I know he was kidding, but he thought it was something a bit rare, and the radio was going on how widespread it really is but its not something that gets talked about often - moreso since talking about your shit is "TMI".

There's only a few more things wrong with the body that are more skeptical to talk about with others, mental depression/issues/bipolar stuff being probably at the top of the list. At least with Crohns.. as I said before, they don't believe you then you can crap in their shoes.

I have no idea why the shoes... I'm sure it goes back to the dog psychologist saying a dog will do his business in your shoes if you dont take him out for walkies enough because he wants attention. I dunno.

Or I just have a thing for shoes.

Thats why I wear cowboy boots.
 
i say laxative and razor blade shards to him!

see how he likes the pain and fun of it all.

then give him a heap of drugs with a plethora of side effects that often seem worse than the disease itself.

lazy? i dont think so creepy.
 
You're creepy, but not lazy. If they're smirking at the sight of your frustrations, that's when you should go off on them (least I would, thats just how I am).

You have to assess whether the source of the "private" info you heard him saying is worth protecting more than "retribution" and defending yourself. Only you can know that I think.
 
Smirking would definitely get me going. On the other hand, it might be the outward sign of embarrassment because they don't know how to react.
I've found that a lot of people (family included) have some difficulty with the concept of a CHRONIC illness. Once you've been there yourself... bingo... it all becomes clear (which is where we're all at on this forum)

... if it came to a vote, I'd go for Joe's solution!
 
Joe's solution would be fun... My brother is the kind of guy who acts like he's dyeing when he gets a cold.

I can't let him know about my source though. It would cause some *serious* problems.
 
Creepy Lurker said:
Joe's solution would be fun... My brother is the kind of guy who acts like he's dyeing when he gets a cold.

I can't let him know about my source though. It would cause some *serious* problems.
Thsi sounds like a setup from Throw Moma from the Train, except, you want to ship his shoes to an outside source...
 
M

Methofelis

Guest
Ugh. I know how THAT one goes.

"You're just over-reacting."
"It can't be that bad."
"You don't look sick! You look thin and healthy!"


... :voodoo:
 

soupdragon69

ele mental leprechaun
Creepy,

My brother is 6.5yrs older than me. He just doesnt get my crohns or anything else I have wrong with me.

When I badly fractured my ankle several years ago he told me to get up and stop being lazy, pulled me to my feet and made me walk! I was in plaster for over 3mths..

When I had an asthma attack last year and ended up in hospital almost on life support he sent me a text and asked if I wanted him to tell me a bedtime story.. didnt hear from him until he was visiting my parents several months later and I phoned them and he just happened to be there.

When I got engaged at the end of August this year he phoned my parents 6wks later and asked HOW I WAS! Work that one out!! He has spent years telling me everything is in my head and I am making a mountain out of a molehill.

My father still tries at times to get my brother to see how ill I have been and the kind of meds I am on etc etc but he just yes and no in the right places and cant accept it I know that so I let him get on with it.

I still get angry at times over his attitude but that is him and my energy is too precious to waste on his "take" on my health. I finally know what is wrong with me and thats all that matters as far as I am concerned. He can go jump!

Hope things are going ok for you on this front. Thinking of you..
 
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C

catfud

Guest
Creepy Lurker said:
Apparently, I'm lazy and just use my disease as an excuse.
This REALLY frustrates and angers me when people say this. Especially when I am trying to explain how difficult even simple things in life can become with this disease. I'm often faced with outright ignorance when talking to people. "It's just an excuse" "It's because all you eat is crap" They have absolutely no idea how hard I try to get on with my life as normal as possibly and how carefully you have to watch your diet.

Joe said:
If it was my brother, I'd probably end up shitting in his shoe.
I have been having a rough day with meds and I can certainly say this put a big smile on my face hahaha.

soupdragon69 said:
my energy is too precious to waste on his "take" on my health.
This is such a good statement. I have wasted far too much time getting angry and frustrated with people that didn't understand. And who pays the price for this? Us, stress does not help in the slightest.
 
Catfud, they reversed it on me. I ate so healthily that a few people said either "you pushed it in the extreme, you went too far I think" or, they take it the other way, and say "goes to show you doesn't matter how clean your diet is and how careful you are with your health, you'll be screwed either way." Now, to that I can almost understand a little, Crohns WAS unavoidable, at least just so far (the doctors I talk to cannot state that diet can't start flares, there's not enough proof to say yes or no, but for the most part, they're in agreeance that it cannot GIVE one Crohns)...

It seems that there is a direct correlation in people's eyes about Crohns...person lived with principles and lifestyles x y z and a b c, so, that did it to them. Then on the other side of the world, person lived with lifestyles d, e, and f, so THAT did it to them. How about the damned disease is genetic and unavoidable? That's what science proves, people need to stop drawing lines from a to b saying we did this to ourselves!
 
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Creepy Lurker said:
Apparently, I'm lazy and just use my disease as an excuse.
Creepy, when i read this i went :eek2: These exact words have been said to me more than once!
One time my bf told me that my brother had been saying this like that about me (they are freinds and hang out sometimes.) At this time my bf totally sided with me and was angry.
Then a few months later he had the b***s to tell me that he thought the same of me because i never felt like driving to his house to see him! whatttt? seriously.
do people think the we ENJOY staying home and resting all the time??
ooo if they saw my booty up close, they would KNOW, lets put it that way.
whew sorry for the personal info and rant, i just agree with you all so strongly about this!
i guess we just have to look at the fact that it has to be hard to be the sibling of a chroniclly ill person as well, yeah?
 
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