Sick of being sick with no support

[Mel1981]

Hi all I am new here and it's been a difficult journey. I am a mom of 6 ranging in ages from 3 -14. My oldest has behavior issues and with toddlers and health issues my life is a struggle at times. My husband works from home but is often annoyed when I am sick. I was diagnosed with UC going on 3 years ago and was recently changed to Crohn's. I also have severe acid reflux and high blood pressure which doesn't help things. When I am having a flare up I have no one to help me because my husband just doesn't get it. On the occasions I have to go to the ER or have been admitted he doesn't even go in with me or
Visit and constantly wants to know when I am Being released. The last time I was in the hospital less Than a month ago I checked myself out early because of this and as soon as we got home he went to bed leaving me with all the kids. It's a real struggle to even have a chance to lay down when I'm hurting and if I need to go to the ER like right now he complains to the point he makes me
Feel bad about going.

 

[Ness1993]

Hey mel,
Sorry to hear your having a hard time. I dont have much to say but Im just sending hugs and support. This forum is amazing with advice and support. Lots of people including me also feel like a burden. But your not ! And please dont feel bad for being ill.
Im only a message away if you ever need someone to talk to.

 

[7vNH]

So sorry to hear that tough spot you are in. Back in the old days, before we all moved away to chase jobs, we would have had extended family to lean on. Some of us, me included, are not very good at being sensitive to the person who needs us when they are unwell. It can be difficult to do and say the right thing. Not that you should have to do it, but being even more clear about what you would like to happen might help. I'm only saying that as a husband who didn't even know he was effing up at the time. You shouldn't even need to ask, but if he's as thick as I am, maybe that's what's called for.

 

[Mel1981]

I am 33 and if my parents was alive they would definitely
Help. I lost my dad 7 years ago to lung Cancer and my mom 3 years ago to COPD. My husband isn't thick headed he's selfish. When he's sick he's worse than the kids and I have to wait on him. He randomly goes to bed, Goes fishing etc without even giving me notice. It sucks saying that about him but it's true. Thank you both
For your comments and sorry about then weird
Caps and spacing typing from phone.

 

[Max's Mom]

I think you just described most men in general. They are not as tough as us, and I think they just don't know what to do when we are sick.They are used to us being in charge,especially when it comes to our kids.I'm not saying that I don't love mine,though.Without him I wouldn't be able to handle this disease,or anything else for that matter.I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Hunt]

I'd like to reiterate the post above and disagree with the men part. I personally think that not just men but anyone who hasn't experienced any IBD symptoms find it very hard to understand what we actually go through.

The symptoms we suffer from are passed off from other people as;
"oh your not well again...right"

When actually, we aren't well within ourselves. I think that if I didn't experience Crohn's disease then I'd find it hard to understand what people actually go through, it's something that's hard to talk about and hard to describe.

Just remember you aren't alone, chin up pal.

 

[LodgeLady]

I understand your concerns. My husband really doesn't get it even though he has seen me really really sick. When I'm not up to eating much he gets annoyed and thinks eating is going to make me feel better!! He thinks I am taking too many medications and thinks they are a contributing factor with my illness....:confused2:

You have a lot on your plate. Try and find a quiet place to be alone for a little bit. I find my biggest support to be my religion and ask daily for patience and strength.

 

[Mel1981]

Thank u all it's nice to know there are others out there that really understand what I am going through. My heart is with you lodgelady I more than understand.

 

[Ali29]

Mel - sending you lots of support/peace, I'm sorry your having such a hard time especially with children to take care of. You are in my thoughts/prayers. Although it is tough for us, others who have not been through this just don't understand or just ignore us (I think ignorance is easier for them). I used to call my husband the "Food Police" they just don't get it, food makes it worse many times. My husband had cancer last year and it mellowed him to the I can't move around/do anything - although he is ok now - while in treatment he learned a valuable lesson about limitations while feeling bad.

Just remember all of us are here for you whether it is to just vent or feel like you are about to have a breakdown with everything going on - we have all been there at some point and can relate to you. :ghug: