S
Slandur
Guest
I remember looking at the sky. I don't know why. I don't remember the date, I know it was in June. I don't remember what I was wearing. Right now I'd have to actually guess what car I stepped out of, but probably my mom's green sonata that she no longer has. I can't even remember the initial doctor's name. But I remember looking up at the sky. I guess it's kind of like selective memory.
I was originally stepping into the office of the proctologist to see why the same pain I had from a syst almost one year ago was happening again. The doctor gave me a sigmoid scope right there in the office. Ok, now that I am recalling this, I am remembering the discomfort there... And the general look of the device. Moving on...
Diagnosis: "It's either Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis." My mom started crying. "It's not fatal!" were the next words out of his mouth thankfully. I didn't know it could be at the time. I was kind of in shock. Just a kind of "alright, what is it and how do i get rid of it" came over me. I wasn't scared.
I should have been. I should have seen that time in 7th grade when I crapped my pants in class as an omen. Or the syst. Or the fact that I always had to pee when my Mom would take me to a grocery store. So many possible reasons triggers. I was kinda unhealthy, eating poptarts for breakfast, baconsandwiches for lunch, hot pockets for dinner, and hagen dasz for dessert... not literally, buy you get the idea. I blame alot of things.
I met my GI Guy that would help me tremendously... Dr. Loweheim. He was my Pediatric Gastro, and he was damn good. He hit me with some asacoal and flagel, and 6mp i think it was (large maroon pills). I eventually upgraded to cipro, there was a 2 year stint with prednisone, then there was remicade, methotrexate, more remicade, humira, back to remicade... I think that covers pharmacueeticals. Almost forgot Hydrocortisone enemas, and hydrocortifoam enemas.
Oh, the pot, can't forget that. Started in freshman year of college. That was quite the trip. Also did shrooms once. Shat and vomitted and basically at crackers and water for about 7 days straight. Bed or toilet, about once a day i pushed myself for food. Wasn't wearing daipers back then, but I don't think I was shitting myself then either. I do believe the cannibis has helped me. Alot.
High school was pretty awful. The summer before it I went to Vegas with my family. Living the life at 14. I thought I was awesome, but starting the month before the trip I began going to the bathroom often. Soon I was going about 15 times a day. Vegas came, and I went. I remember one night in the timeshare... I was in the middle of the living room, basically in a handstand on the fold out couch of the sofa, doing a hyrdocortisone enema to myself... I had to sleep with a towel under me in case I couldn't hold it... For the most part, I had a good trip. There were times that were bad. And one night in the Rio, my cousin was using the bathroom in our suite. I needed to use it, and couldn't hold it. Went right outside the bathroom door.
First day of ninth grade was nuts. Fever, headache, nausea, dizziness, a case of the "runs to the bathroom"... it was tough. Too tough. Got homeschooled for about3 months. High School teachers came to my house, it was pretty cool. After a while I was doing ok, so that April I went to Atlantic City. Yeah, my family gambles, lol. So while there I'm on asacoal and flagyll. The doctor who was in for my doctor said "you can feel shitty here, or shitty in AC" I chose AC and he upped my dosages. I spent most time in the room or at the arcade downstairs. I took like three baths in one night because of the fevers. When my parents got back my mom put a cool rag on my head. I woke up in the middle of the night, she got up to get another one, and I had a seizure.
I only remember images now, my hands are shaking, i'm on a gurney being carted into a freight elevator, i'm in back of an ambulance, then I remember being in the Emergency ward of a hospital, then I had another seizure. I woke up 4 days later in a different hospital, a children's hospital in New Jersey. I ate for the first time in almost a week a solid mean. That hospital had the best turkey, with creamy mashed potatoes and buttery peas. Just delicious.
After that incident I was down to about 84 pounds. Ensure and Peptomin made me vomit, made me sick, nauseas... I couldn't take them... So I passed a tube through my nose and into my stomach for nightly sustenance. My dad or my sister would help me pass it. So shitty sleeping like that. Had to stop the pump and clamp the tube and walk with it hanging out of your nose. Every morning I remember looking myself in the face as I ripped it out of my nose. That was my worst. For a while afterwards :depressed: I constantly thought about death:depressed: and worried. I made everything worse through my negative mentalities.
Soon I would see a Nutritionist that would save my life. Dr. Grovit. Put me on a strict diet. Baby food to start. We had to restart my body. Only meat i was allowed was chicken. I had to eat blueberries, crackers, and other easy things. I had to avoid peanut butter, pasta, beans, and alot of ethnic foods. I could have NOTHING with milk. I had to start reading label, and avoiding things. Never too much fat in a meal. Never too much sugar. I eventually saw results. I also started foxin with remicade. This put me on the up and up.
I went to college but seffered. Missed lots of classes. I was kicked out of school. Went to RIT. I was able to maintain a good GPA at hgh school without attending class, but college was different. Exceed to Succeed here. I missed the memo and Proceed to Sleep. Once I found pot, things changed. Started smoking religiously in community college. Along with the strict diet again, I got my crohn's mostly under control. I was still going to the bathroom like 8 times a day, but fevers and headaches were gone. No more stomach discomfort or pain. It was smooth sailing.
Save for the last year. After my girlfriend broke up with me I got the flu while taking Humira. I had the flu so bad I had to stop the humira, which brought crohn's symptoms back. I eventually lost the lead in the my play at my new college. Here I am now, still unfinished after 6 years and dealing with crohn's. October was my last treatment of remicade, and I'm never going back. I've done the diet with no exercise. Now it's time for the exercise. I'm sick enough right now where I can't really maintain a job, but I had one for a few short stints here and there. Morning hours killed me at each one. At one I felt I wasn't strong enough, and graciously bowed out never to be seen again. I've destroyed every employment and educational tie I have ever had because of crohn's. I was able, however, to lead an improv comedy troupe in college. And for that I am grateful.
Nowadays I sit on the couch and play online poker. I try to exercise everyday. Just stretches and situps and pushups. It's all I can handle right now. During the new year I vow to become disciplined enough to get this under complete control. Because of this disease I rarely drank alcohol in college, and frankly I've never seen the appeal of memory loss. Loved cigarettes though. I have stopped this both and will continue to abstain from both for as long as possible. I am changing my diet to a combination of "The Inflammation Free Diet" a Glueten-Free diet. Basically rice and chicken till i'm blue in the face, with some variations of fruit, vegetables, and fish. I'm going to be taking a couple of supplements. Tumeric and Glucosamine I used to take. I'm also going to get a multi vitamin, experiment with different probiotics, and find some other supplements to take. My workouts are going to be Push or Pull days twice each a week, and a cardio day as well. I'm going to do all I can to maintain my weight. I'm feeling better already, and I feel hopeful for the future. I'm not going to let Crohn's stop me anymore. Bye bye carbs, hello stars.
My story kind of turned into a rant. But it's 2AM and I'm finally feeling sleepy here.I look forward to getting to know you all. Peace, love, and intestinal freedom.
oo:
I was originally stepping into the office of the proctologist to see why the same pain I had from a syst almost one year ago was happening again. The doctor gave me a sigmoid scope right there in the office. Ok, now that I am recalling this, I am remembering the discomfort there... And the general look of the device. Moving on...
Diagnosis: "It's either Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis." My mom started crying. "It's not fatal!" were the next words out of his mouth thankfully. I didn't know it could be at the time. I was kind of in shock. Just a kind of "alright, what is it and how do i get rid of it" came over me. I wasn't scared.
I should have been. I should have seen that time in 7th grade when I crapped my pants in class as an omen. Or the syst. Or the fact that I always had to pee when my Mom would take me to a grocery store. So many possible reasons triggers. I was kinda unhealthy, eating poptarts for breakfast, baconsandwiches for lunch, hot pockets for dinner, and hagen dasz for dessert... not literally, buy you get the idea. I blame alot of things.
I met my GI Guy that would help me tremendously... Dr. Loweheim. He was my Pediatric Gastro, and he was damn good. He hit me with some asacoal and flagel, and 6mp i think it was (large maroon pills). I eventually upgraded to cipro, there was a 2 year stint with prednisone, then there was remicade, methotrexate, more remicade, humira, back to remicade... I think that covers pharmacueeticals. Almost forgot Hydrocortisone enemas, and hydrocortifoam enemas.
Oh, the pot, can't forget that. Started in freshman year of college. That was quite the trip. Also did shrooms once. Shat and vomitted and basically at crackers and water for about 7 days straight. Bed or toilet, about once a day i pushed myself for food. Wasn't wearing daipers back then, but I don't think I was shitting myself then either. I do believe the cannibis has helped me. Alot.
High school was pretty awful. The summer before it I went to Vegas with my family. Living the life at 14. I thought I was awesome, but starting the month before the trip I began going to the bathroom often. Soon I was going about 15 times a day. Vegas came, and I went. I remember one night in the timeshare... I was in the middle of the living room, basically in a handstand on the fold out couch of the sofa, doing a hyrdocortisone enema to myself... I had to sleep with a towel under me in case I couldn't hold it... For the most part, I had a good trip. There were times that were bad. And one night in the Rio, my cousin was using the bathroom in our suite. I needed to use it, and couldn't hold it. Went right outside the bathroom door.
First day of ninth grade was nuts. Fever, headache, nausea, dizziness, a case of the "runs to the bathroom"... it was tough. Too tough. Got homeschooled for about3 months. High School teachers came to my house, it was pretty cool. After a while I was doing ok, so that April I went to Atlantic City. Yeah, my family gambles, lol. So while there I'm on asacoal and flagyll. The doctor who was in for my doctor said "you can feel shitty here, or shitty in AC" I chose AC and he upped my dosages. I spent most time in the room or at the arcade downstairs. I took like three baths in one night because of the fevers. When my parents got back my mom put a cool rag on my head. I woke up in the middle of the night, she got up to get another one, and I had a seizure.
I only remember images now, my hands are shaking, i'm on a gurney being carted into a freight elevator, i'm in back of an ambulance, then I remember being in the Emergency ward of a hospital, then I had another seizure. I woke up 4 days later in a different hospital, a children's hospital in New Jersey. I ate for the first time in almost a week a solid mean. That hospital had the best turkey, with creamy mashed potatoes and buttery peas. Just delicious.
After that incident I was down to about 84 pounds. Ensure and Peptomin made me vomit, made me sick, nauseas... I couldn't take them... So I passed a tube through my nose and into my stomach for nightly sustenance. My dad or my sister would help me pass it. So shitty sleeping like that. Had to stop the pump and clamp the tube and walk with it hanging out of your nose. Every morning I remember looking myself in the face as I ripped it out of my nose. That was my worst. For a while afterwards :depressed: I constantly thought about death:depressed: and worried. I made everything worse through my negative mentalities.
Soon I would see a Nutritionist that would save my life. Dr. Grovit. Put me on a strict diet. Baby food to start. We had to restart my body. Only meat i was allowed was chicken. I had to eat blueberries, crackers, and other easy things. I had to avoid peanut butter, pasta, beans, and alot of ethnic foods. I could have NOTHING with milk. I had to start reading label, and avoiding things. Never too much fat in a meal. Never too much sugar. I eventually saw results. I also started foxin with remicade. This put me on the up and up.
I went to college but seffered. Missed lots of classes. I was kicked out of school. Went to RIT. I was able to maintain a good GPA at hgh school without attending class, but college was different. Exceed to Succeed here. I missed the memo and Proceed to Sleep. Once I found pot, things changed. Started smoking religiously in community college. Along with the strict diet again, I got my crohn's mostly under control. I was still going to the bathroom like 8 times a day, but fevers and headaches were gone. No more stomach discomfort or pain. It was smooth sailing.
Save for the last year. After my girlfriend broke up with me I got the flu while taking Humira. I had the flu so bad I had to stop the humira, which brought crohn's symptoms back. I eventually lost the lead in the my play at my new college. Here I am now, still unfinished after 6 years and dealing with crohn's. October was my last treatment of remicade, and I'm never going back. I've done the diet with no exercise. Now it's time for the exercise. I'm sick enough right now where I can't really maintain a job, but I had one for a few short stints here and there. Morning hours killed me at each one. At one I felt I wasn't strong enough, and graciously bowed out never to be seen again. I've destroyed every employment and educational tie I have ever had because of crohn's. I was able, however, to lead an improv comedy troupe in college. And for that I am grateful.
Nowadays I sit on the couch and play online poker. I try to exercise everyday. Just stretches and situps and pushups. It's all I can handle right now. During the new year I vow to become disciplined enough to get this under complete control. Because of this disease I rarely drank alcohol in college, and frankly I've never seen the appeal of memory loss. Loved cigarettes though. I have stopped this both and will continue to abstain from both for as long as possible. I am changing my diet to a combination of "The Inflammation Free Diet" a Glueten-Free diet. Basically rice and chicken till i'm blue in the face, with some variations of fruit, vegetables, and fish. I'm going to be taking a couple of supplements. Tumeric and Glucosamine I used to take. I'm also going to get a multi vitamin, experiment with different probiotics, and find some other supplements to take. My workouts are going to be Push or Pull days twice each a week, and a cardio day as well. I'm going to do all I can to maintain my weight. I'm feeling better already, and I feel hopeful for the future. I'm not going to let Crohn's stop me anymore. Bye bye carbs, hello stars.
My story kind of turned into a rant. But it's 2AM and I'm finally feeling sleepy here.I look forward to getting to know you all. Peace, love, and intestinal freedom.
oo:
