So... tired... of it.... I just want to cry!

[bamboling]

so... tired... of it.... I just want to cry!

I am soooooo tired of this all, the pain, the everything. And I feel like people around me just don't understand! They try and they say I am Sorry, etc., and it is nice of them, but they don't understand.

I am tired of about an hour after I eat my stomach pains start. I get nauseous, I feel like I am about to have diarrhea like no other and I feel like I can't be more than five steps from the toilet. I am tired of all the stomach noises I have and not being able to control them.

I am tired of everything else. My hips and knees feel awful! I couldn't hardly sleep because it hurt, just laying there! I am tired or feeling those swollen lymphs on my neck, the headaches, the tiredness, the doctor's appointments, the test. Heck, I blackout and started dri-heaving when I had blood test Thursday!

I am tired of being the sick and ill one, being asked, "Can you eat that?". "How do you feel today?" And then in the doctor's appointments, all the same questions, meds, family history, etc.

I am tired of being a burden.

And most of all... I am tired of not having a diagnoses yet! My colonoscopy is in two and a half weeks (counting days here!!!). My Gastro said he was pretty sure it was Crohn's. But they can't do anything about it yet. And I can't even take anything for my hips. The pain pills do not work, Nsaids are out of the question...

I quess I just needed to vent... I fill like the shittiest shit ever. I have bever felt this way before. Just when I thought my belly might be getting better, it came back with a vengence...

Oh I do love being part of the undiagnosed club! I sure everyone else is having a better time than me. I need a pick me up, and I can't even drink!

 

[StarGirrrrl]

Hi bamboling, sorry to hear things are so rough for you at the moment. I sure know, as many of us do, how you are feeling.

I hope you c-scope provides you with some answers! Have you had any tests to look at the small bowel, or is that something your Dr has planned if this one is normal?

 

[scoutfinch]

Go ahead and cry. Scream, shout, punch pillows, write down a long venting post - do whatever you need to to get out the frustration. It really helps. Although, if you do scream, maybe try to do it without a lot of people around. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad - we on the boards truly understand how bad it can get. Just try to hang in there and do whatever you can to get better. Good luck with your colonscopy. Hopefully you will get a diagnosis soon and some quick and effective treatment.

 

[IslandArts]

Nothing like a good vent to release some of the frustration. I vent at work with some of the staff and they're good at letting me ramble away. My dog gets to hear the rest..lucky him. Good luck with the tests and getting some relief soon.

 

[allieinwonder]

I'm so sorry you are burning out too. I'm going through the same thing.

Major hugs! Things will get better in the end, I promise.

 

[Crohn's 35]

I know your feeling. It took a year of testing and was so sick couldnt get off the couch and I had a 4 year old. Being a single parent is hard enough and dealing with pain and test literally weekly... I lost so much weight and scared. I found out years later my daughter thougth I was dying, how she must of suffered inside.

You just want answers, and then things started to pick up a bit with healiing and had surgery about 6months later. That was 20 years ago , and I had another surgery and gain weight .... but my daughter is doing research in University to find a cure or more help than the drugs up to date. The only thing that kep me going was knowing some day there will be a cure, just hope in my life time...so time has to stand still...