• Welcome to Crohn's Forum, a support group for people with all forms of IBD. While this community is not a substitute for doctor's advice and we cannot treat or diagnose, we find being able to communicate with others who have IBD is invaluable as we navigate our struggles and celebrate our successes. We invite you to join us.

Some People Just SUCK

I am so sick and tired of people not believing me when I say that I'm not feeling good so I can't go out or going to some one's house. When your sick you don't feel like going out Do you? Sorry I'm just venting because one of my Best "Friends" has been telling people that I'm not really sick and that i was sick a year ago because i had ulcers in my stomach but now i'm fine. And now all I want is people to feel bad for me. HA I wish.

It seems like just because you can't see that I'm sick doesn't mean that I'm not. I feel like telling her to come over and spend the day with me while i'm having a bad flare up day and go to the bathroom with me every time I have to go, and see how much I bleed and then every time my stomach cramps up or hurts let me punch you in the gut.

Why don't people understand and Why would a "friend" say that about someone?

Has anyone else had people be like this?
 
Not that bad for me just yet, however I do feel that people think that now I am out of hospital and had treatment I am 'better' :(
 
Yes Exactly! People think that because your going on with your life some-how your better and that you should be able to live your life like the rest of them. Yeah NOT GOING TO HAPPEN>
 
FACT: This disease will determine who your real friends/family are.

I have detattched myself with a lot of people I used to think were friends because
they did not understand what living with a chronic disease is like.
I don't expect them to. Instead, I surround myself with people who don't
pretend to understand, but just continue to be my friends disease or no
disease. Good and bad. I also have a lot of Crohnie friends now. And you can
Bet THEy understand :)

But yes, I got called 'flake' and 'unsocial' and 'hermit' and who knows
what else because while everyone else my age was out partying and
having a good time, I was glued to the bloody porcelain throne! :voodoo:
 
I'm sorry DayDreamer. It is unforunate that people take such an attitude, but like Mini said, this disease will help to determine who is a real friend and who isn't. It's very hard for people in general to accept something they can't see. You walk down the street missing a leg, people are going to see and 'understand'. You walk down the street and poop your pants, people are going to either point and laugh or look horrified.

I know it's hard to deal with such nonsense and it hurts to know people you thought were friends are doing such immature things. Just remember that those close to you and that truly matter will still be there with you. It's a hard lesson to learn and sometimes the wake up call can really hurt and cause hardship, but things will get better.

My best friend and I have been friend since we were 7, and even though I tell her how things are, she still doesn't get it. She will sometimes make comments that piss me off or seem insensitive at the time, but she's still there.

Keep your chin up and focus on getting yourself healthy and working towards a remission, not stressing over what people say. You'll come out ok in the end. :)
 

GoJohnnyGo

One Badass Dude
People like that aren't friends. Especially if they're going around purposely spreading hurtful untruths. Types like that probably spread vicious gossip about other people, disease or no disease.

There's immature people. There's ignorant people. Then there are the just plain awful people. Avoid them at all costs.
 
I think we can all relate Daydreamer I love my friends but one in particular just doesn't understand at all... Im not feeling the best at the moment the worst I have been since being diagnosed in Sept last year and only yesterday she said to me Im so cranky at your doctors they are screwing you around I wish they would just find answers for you and fix you. Im like hang on I have been diagnosed with Crohns and if you had been listening to me there is no cure! She think cause I have been put on medication then that it you are fixed and shouldn't have issues again.. I wish!!! I was a bit shitty at her but I know she has my best intentions at heart as she hates seeing me this way but still doesn't understand at the same time. Where as my fam have been great my mum researches it all so she can have a better understanding of the disease and what I might be going thru so when we talk she can try and relate and also know something already bout the disease. Good luck you will get there and if your friends don't understand or stick around then they really weren't great friends to begin with.
 

merrywidow

mum with a dogdy tum
imisspopcorn said:
Sorry Daydreamer....Most people don't get it unless they live with you.....
they so would understand crohns, the farting smells!!!

people dont understand crohns just like we dont understand other conditions.
ever meet a man that understands period pain? see what i am saying?
 
I have dealt with this all of my Crohn’s life. In high school, I had one “friend” spread rumors that I was anorexic, or that I was out of school because I was having a baby or that I was out having an abortion. Having this disease from a young age really helped me to see which people are worth my time and which aren’t.

I have friends now that mean well, but they just don’t get it. I think it is hard for people to understand because I can feel just fine one day and be really sick the next. When they see me, I don’t seem sick, so it’s hard for them to understand when I can’t go out or I am just to tiered to leave my house. I try not to take it to heart. I know it can be hard to understand what another person goes through unless you have been through it yourself.

On the other hand, there are a few people in my life that really do get it, and they help me through it so much. My Jer is especially good about it. He can just tell from my face or my voice when I am not feeling well. He never judges me for missing work and always tells me how proud he is of me when he knows that I am feeling rotten but I still push through and get things done. Sometimes it just takes one person who really understands you to make up for all of the sucky people.

It also really helps now that I have all of you to relate to. Hearing that there are people out there going through exactly what I go through both emotionally and physically on a daily basis has really helped me to judge myself less too.
 
I know exactly what you mean...
Last March (when I was a freshman in college) I was out of school for a week extremely sick. I was dorming at the time, and when I finally started going back to classes, I found it impossible to stay at the dorms (going to the bathroom 20+ times a day, etc etc.) So luckily, my aunt lived about 10-15 minutes from my campus and so I spent the remainder of the semester at her house, commuting to classes. I much later found out that my best friend at the time who lived down the hall from me in the dorms was telling people that she's "sick of Missy always having to be the basketcase, the one who always has a problem, and always has to be sicker than anyone else so the attention is on her." I have found these social issues to be one of my major problems dealing with Crohn's....people simply just don't have a clue. THey hear what the symptoms of Crohn's are...diarrhea, stomach pain, etc etc, and they think....well I get that too? There really needs to be more awareness.
 
I'm sorry that your 'friends' are being so unsupportive. As people have said you really do learn who is really worth the time of day. **HUGS**
 
Don't let it get to you. I was in High School when I got diagnosed and spent time in the hospital. The rumors ranged from me having AIDS to Anal Cancer.

If the people you surround yourself with can't be supportive or understanding then they just are not worth surrounding yourself with.
 

Jennifer

Adminstrator
Staff member
Location
SLO
Sadly this is one of the main reasons why I keep my disease to myself unless I have to tell someone. Usually I'd only tell my teachers if my crohns was flaring up and becoming a problem. I'd also only tell really close friends or the guys I was dating. I don't think that even half of my friends from HS knew that I had crohns and I only told 2 kids when I came back to school from the hospital in 5th grade.

I pick my battles when it comes to my health so I'm fine with people not knowing everything about me cause it reduces stress. But those types of people you encountered who spread rumors, they show their ugly faces even if you don't tell them about your illness. They aren't worth anyone's time.
 
I'm sorry that you're getting grief from the people in your life, Daydream.

I must say that I am lucky (so far *fingers crossed* in my friends .... but I have a huge extended family, both by blood and marriage. And I mean HUGE ~ we can get 50 or better show up for Christmas dinner. An nine of them will even admit it is a possibility that I have Crohn's, even though 2 different docs have now said they very firmly believed so.

The family's reasoning if that they know a person/persons with Crohn's and I don't look as sick as they do so I must not have it. *sigh* Hence, the inference is that I ought to buck up and deal with or get cured whatever it is that's ailing me.
 
Top