Still in pain but trying

[Misterlonely]

Its been a very long time since I came and talked here...I have read silently and been reading and checking I am just trying my best to stay happy you all, this pain is sometimes just so unreal, I don't get it how can someone just exist in this and nobody seems to understand how hurtful it gets....I get tired, I cry, I just try to stay afloat and sometimes the only thing that helps ease my pain you know I can't always afford it just sucks, because I don't really have that much money, I also don't have insurance, so it just happens to go that way and you can't do that stuff you know what I mean? I sometimes must admit that I hate my life you know but I don't want to make it seem too bad, but sometimes, I got to admit that I must want to kill myself and it makes me so sad to deal with somethings. I just feel like sometimes I must admit that I maybe way to lonely and it sucks sometimes but I just try to keep my head up, I also go to a support group as well...of people with pain and trying to make it in life and sometimes that just the way that it goes, it is very hard to understand and take it...I have tried many medicines and right now I can't get much more...but I am honestly trying my best...I hope you all are doing okay, I get so scared that my life should just stop because I am tired of this pain...

 

[ronroush7]

Hi. Everyone in this group is so supportive. If you feel like you need to talk feel free to talk . You can also PM me if you want.

 

[Donjh]

Hi
I've been dealing with serve crohn's, ostomy for 45 years. Fistula's, pick lines for 6 ot 7 months at a time nothing by mouth, pain that's off the charts. It's easy to get mad, upset, depressed, shut yourself off from the outside world with crohn's, ostomy. Been there done that over the years. I get tired of fighting this, tired of the operations, 12 over the years.

This is the hand I've been dealt and I'm determined to make each day count, the best it can be, a great day. Despite the pain, hours spent with doctors, MRI's , cat scans, sticking myself once a week with humira, every other week blood tests, on and on it goes.

I've looked up ways to end it on the Internet in weak moments, when I'm tired of the whole mess and I'm sure other members here have to you are not alone. Crohn's is nasty, dehumanizing disease in a lot of ways but it's not going to beat me, stop me from enjoying everyday to the fullest.

This is it you get one shot at your time on earth make the best of it. I found hard as it is to get up, painful as it is you have to keep moving, exercise even if it's just walking around the block is a start. The next day will be easier, the next even easier.

You are most likely eligible for disability have you checked? That will ease the $$ worries a bit.

I have pain med but hate taking it so I find other things to take my mind off the pain. Pain is only temp it will pass, come and go.

Sorry to be so long winded and I hope something it all that will help you. Don' t give up better days are just around the corner.

 

[ron261]

Just a quick input here, Have you tried the Medical Marijuana for the pain, I hear it helps for IBD and Crohn's. I am waiting at this time for the M.M. Card for my state. I also talked to others that have IBD and Crohn's here where I live and they all swore by it to help for the Pain.

 

[lenny]

Normal life is hard. Being chronically ill can be hell. I'm very sorry for what you have been going through.

Could you move to a state with expanded medicaid? I live in Colorado and know a couple of young, healthy, unemployed people who are on Medicaid and their care is free, even dental visits. No one should be denied medicine because they lack money. Our country is far too wealthy for that to happen in good conscience.

 

[ron261]

lenny, that's good info. I myself looking into moving to Colorado in the near future, after this next operation.