Striving to be “normal”
I have been in remission for several years, yet I don’t feel normal.
I am nervous about and even avoid certain foods. I know that I should be able to eat anything I want, yet I still shy away from what I perceive as “problem foods.”
I feel like a ticking time bomb. Is that just gas or is that a flare brewing? Should I eat that or is that going to send me into a flare? How long can remission last?
Where is the nearest bathroom, what kind of toilet paper does it have?
Will I ever have a normal relationship with food?
Even in remission my gut makes A LOT of noise after eating. Did anyone hear that? Is it weird?
With this disease I also acquired anxiety. I worry about what to eat, what not to eat. I worry about the next flare, about the next colonoscopy. I’m young but I truly worry about my own mortality. I know the disease isn’t necessarily deadly, but I worry about my health in general...am I eating right? How do you eat right when most healthy foods cause pain??? I also have diverticulosis...how??? How do you eat high fiber with this disease?
Most people would probably just enjoy life, but I worry....I worry about everything. What can I do better for my health? Should I just enjoy what I can now because I will inevitably have another flare?
Damn this disease for always being in the back of my mind.
I have been in remission for several years, yet I don’t feel normal.
I am nervous about and even avoid certain foods. I know that I should be able to eat anything I want, yet I still shy away from what I perceive as “problem foods.”
I feel like a ticking time bomb. Is that just gas or is that a flare brewing? Should I eat that or is that going to send me into a flare? How long can remission last?
Where is the nearest bathroom, what kind of toilet paper does it have?
Will I ever have a normal relationship with food?
Even in remission my gut makes A LOT of noise after eating. Did anyone hear that? Is it weird?
With this disease I also acquired anxiety. I worry about what to eat, what not to eat. I worry about the next flare, about the next colonoscopy. I’m young but I truly worry about my own mortality. I know the disease isn’t necessarily deadly, but I worry about my health in general...am I eating right? How do you eat right when most healthy foods cause pain??? I also have diverticulosis...how??? How do you eat high fiber with this disease?
Most people would probably just enjoy life, but I worry....I worry about everything. What can I do better for my health? Should I just enjoy what I can now because I will inevitably have another flare?
Damn this disease for always being in the back of my mind.