Thanksgiving on 100% Enteral Diet

[girlscout]

Hi Parents,
My 14 YO son has been on 100% enteral nutrition for 4 weeks. As Thanksgiving approaches I'm wondering how to help him to deal with the Thanksgiving Holiday with out feeling left out. I would appreciate suggestions.

Typically My family gathers at my sister's home about 2 hours from our house each year. He loves to spend time with his cousins and hang out watching movies etc so I don't want to skip it entirely. But the kids' usual routine is to eat lots of desserts and goodies while hanging out together. Plus there's the whole sitting around the table as a family thing. I don't want to make him sit at the table, but being alone is going to be bad too. I'm thinking of asking his teenage cousin to take him out for a drive or to walk the dogs during the meal.
Other suggestions welcome.

Mom of 14 yo boy. Crohns Dx 4/2010. 6mp,pred, 100% Boost diet. Probably starting Remicade on 12/2.

 

[Clash]

My son has never been on 100% EN, only 80%-20% so I don't have any experience with that part.

I think it is a great idea to keep him involved with the family dinner and hopefully some distraction can help alleviate his situation.

There are several parents who have done EN I'll tag them:
Tesscorm, my little penguin, maya142, farmwife.

Hopefully, they will be by shortly with tips and tricks they used.

 

[Brian'sMom]

This happened to us... but it was Christmas dinner. I fretted so badly over it. And my family is very sweet.. but many would offer him treats and then "oops!" A Football game was on when dinner was ready...my husband and a few of the other guys stayed watching it and my son hung with them while his cousins ate. When they were done, they all ran off together. It's so hard. I feel for you... the smells and eating together is such a big part of thanksgiving. I like your idea of a drive. What has your son said about it?

 

[my little penguin]

Ds did thanksgiving and Christmas on EEN
He was 7 at the time.

We used fancy cups so he could drink with us
But after 10 minutes he could get up
We had special crafts or things he could do for that instead just for the day

We made cotton candy out of pure sugar cane
We also made sugar cookies
Pure sugar with water boiled and put in silicon molds shaped like trees etc.....

 

[Farmwife]

We've been through all the holidays. We let her bring something fun to the table. Most of the time her cousins wish they could play with the toy/craft/gift instead of eating.
I like MLP idea about the cup idea.

 

[Pilgrim]

Our kid likes to be included in the table conversation. She drinks her formula while we eat and she likes to smell the food.

In my opinion, after 4 weeks he's used to the program. Go, enjoy the meal, include him at the table, maybe make a few jokes if it is awkward at first and he has a sense of humor. It sounds like a wonderful gathering.

From an ex-pat: HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

 

[Brian'sMom]

But her son is 14yrs. Probably a special cup or toy wouldn't interest him much. Maybe an Iphone! It probably bothers you more than it does your son. That's what happened with us. That being said, my son did enjoy watching football instead of sitting at the table. He said he would crave the food everyone was eating and it made it harder for him. Also, my family is so big that we don't fit around a table anyways. So eating in 'shifts' is normal for us.

 

[girlscout]

If only we were a sports-watching family! Probably we're the only house in the US not watching football on Thanksgiving! Netflix may be our savior instead. An iphone is going to have to wait until he stops loosing/breaking his phones every other month. ;-)

 

[Maya142]

How about letting him play video games or something? Just so that he's distracted while everyone else is eating.

 

[Pilgrim]

If only we were a sports-watching family! Probably we're the only house in the US not watching football on Thanksgiving! Netflix may be our savior instead. An iphone is going to have to wait until he stops loosing/breaking his phones every other month. ;-)

:lol: I have a teen boy like that. I don't think there's a cure. :rof:

 

[happy]

Not a teen boy--a middle-aged Mom here. I had been on full enteral nutrition for about a month before Christmas dinner. I don't remember not being able to eat; but I do remember what my daughter did for me.

At my place setting was an upside-down stainless steel mixing bowl covering a plate with paper "food". A full turkey dinner with gravy and cranberry sauce was recreated from construction paper and tissue paper. I also had tissue paper wine and paper pumpkin pie. It touched me so much that my family wanted to make sure that I was included, despite the fact that I could not eat the meal that I had prepared for them.

They made this secretly, while I was changing for dinner.

I sipped my liquid dinner and played with my pretend dinner while my family ate their real dinner. It was great fun.

If your son has younger cousins--perhaps they would enjoy making a place setting for him with their play food and dishes. It may make him smile.

Good luck.

 

[littlemissh]

Another adult here who has spent 3 christmas dinners being unable to eat. I still sit with them and have a drink. We as a family have changed the focus from food to games we can play at the table.
This year we have a wheel and chopsticks and have to place as many pandas on the wheel before they fall off. We have meal time quizzes and I ask the questions as I am not eating, also bingo and my girls make up ether little table games we can play.
I don't allow anyone to eat the christmas cake in front of me though as I love fruit cake and can't watch other people eat it!
It has actually made Christmas meals more fun.

 

[girlscout]

Thanks everyone for your suggestions about Thanksgiving I'm curious about the game with the chopsticks, wheel and pandas. That sounds like fun. Can you tell me more or where to get it? And maybe some paper food would lighten things up a bit. A hard part about this enteral diet (beyond the holiday) is that we were one of the few families that actually had dinner together about 4-5 nights a week. Now that he's not "eating" I never ask him to sit at the table and he retreats to his room and closes the door even more than he used to. It seems like he's hardly coming out now.

 

[my little penguin]

We ate dinner every night together
Ds had his shakes plus shaved ice with pure sugar sprinkled on some times.
He sat with us for the first 10 minutes of meals
The how was your day part then he could leave

 

[Jmrogers4]

We finished the week before thanksgiving, but my son was also 14 at the time of EEN, he did homecoming dance and since he thought it would be harder to take his date to restaurant since he could eat she and her family came over for dinner. Jack had his drink in a fancy wine glass and like MLP we made cotton candy from pure sugar cane and put it on his plate. He actually enjoyed visiting and chatting with everyone while eating as opposed to being sent somewhere away from everyone at least for special occasion. Regular meal time he would sit at the beginning of the meal and then go play video games so we still had family time. I would try and cook the things he didn't like for regular meals.
He was allowed hard candy on occasion (like dum dum suckers) so would have one of those every once in a while it helped with feeling like he was eating something.

 

[Pilgrim]

I wonder if you could encourage him to join you for meals?

We did the same thing at first. I sent her upstairs with a video while we ate, because I felt terrible that she would have to watch us eating.

I think she may have felt like we didn't want her at the table. After 3 days and reading some advice from the parents here, we brought her back to the table. She loves to be with us and part of the family.

With a teenager you may have to push it. But it might help to keep him from self-isolating, and it might help to keep him from a pity party. I don't know him, but having teens in the house, I know that sometimes the drama happens -even with boys. That's a really tough age to have to deal with this disease.

 

[LNS87]

I have no experience and I am not a parent, but he's 14, so why not ask him what he prefers to do? He's a teenager so he's old enough to let you know what he thinks about the situation.

 

[Mehita]

I think I like LNS87's idea best. Just ask him how he feels about it all and how he'd like to handle things. Our kiddos get very few chances to control things with their diseases, but this would be a good opportunity to let him.

My son was 12 when he was on a liquid diet at Thanksgiving. He said he'd rather not be in the room and we all respected that. Funny thing was, after a couple of minutes, he did end up joining us on his own with a drink in hand. He only stayed 10 minutes or so, but we were all fine with that. He did what he wanted/needed to do and it was all good. Just be sure you have a chair or spot at the table for him no matter what you do, otherwise it's a little awkward if he does join you and y'all are shuffling chairs trying to make room.

 

[crohnsinct]

Another parent of an EEN child. She was 12 at the time. While it wasn't Thanksgiving or Chistmas it was a big wedding, bar and bat Mitzvah season, Easter (which is HUGE in our house) combined with end of the year parties a cruise etc.

She thought it would be much harder than it actually was to sit with the family while we ate. She joined us all the time with her shake in hand. She was only allowed one piece of gum a day (I usually do not allow gum in the house...no issue with it..just my kids chew it like cows and it freaks me out). So she usually saved her gum for dinner.

I would ask him to try it one night and see if he likes it. If it is torture and he hates it then allow him to leave. He might find it isn't so bad.

 

[girlscout]

Hi Everyone,
Thanks for your helpful input. Last night I asked him to join us for dinner for 5 minutes. I think it will be a good pattern to set, just to check in, etc. On Thanksgiving, my sister the hostess for the day decided that she will not roast a turkey and serve mostly veggie dishes and set up a blender bar so he can blend his shakes etc. (Sister is delighted to not have to cook a turkey!) and my sister in laws family always does games, so she will bring some ideas. I'm going to look at our local Japanese store for the Panda wheel. That seems like a lot of fun for everyone.
As to what he wants... I asked him about this a while ago. He said he'd like to stay home alone and play video games. Typical!

 

[M West]

To Girlscout, son, and all of you dealing with Thanksgiving and EEN. May
God bless you all.
I was on EEN for 3 Thanksgivings 35 years ago. It was Vivonex for me and turkey and allthe fixings for grandparents(all4 0f them), parents and brothers and sisters.
Thursday my family and me will celebrate with turkey and all the fixings. This year we will celebrate without grandparents, parents.
Looking back, Thanksgiving is being with people who you love and those who care for you.
Blessings.
Miles

 

[littlemissh]

Hi,
Here is the link where we got the Panda wheel from
It is a uk based company but you may be able to get it locally or from a similar on line company in the US.
http://www.firebox.com/product/6578/Panda-Pile-Up?via=searchbox

 

[Tesscorm]

Sorry, I'm a bit late to the conversation but you've gotten great advice - not much I can add!

My son was almost 17 when on EEN and he chose to not sit with us at dinner (even though we usually all eat dinner together). However, because we all felt so bad eating our dinner while he was in the other room, we'd all end up eating so quickly, just to get it over with, and then we'd just join him in the family room! :lol: Our dinners would last about 10 minutes! Once he started eating again, we all quickly fell back into the usual pattern of eating dinner together.

My son was allowed clear fluids, which included broth and freezies. At school, so that he could eat lunch with friends, I sent broth and arranged for the school to keep freezies in the staff kitchen.

Is your son allowed anything like jello?, something that he could 'eat' with everyone else?

But, also, I've found our kids are surprisingly strong! :heart: No question this is a really tough treatment and it broke my heart while my son went through it but, he constantly surprised me with his understanding and acceptance of the need to get through it. He attended his school's athletic banquet during EEN, his table happened to be close to the bbq! and, as each seat had a dinner ticket, he even went up to collect his dinner so his friends could eat it! :yfaint: But, as hard as that must have been, he laughed about it at home!

I also think your idea of distraction with his cousins is a great one!

:ghug: