Why do we deserve this lifestyle? We don't. That does not mean we still don't have to live with our condition or this disease though. The ups and downs can be long and severe, and they can definately take a toll on a person physically and emotionally. That does not mean we should give into the bad thoughts and feelings.
While you may be really frustrated now, you should know that things always change. Sometimes the medication seems to pile up, and sometimes things quiet down a lot. Things can change in a months time from one extreme to the opposite side. Stay positive and you will start to see the changes occur (slowly, but they likely will).
Do not put pressure on yourself though. Stress is bad, so let things occur as they will and do not force anything. Do not overexert yourself if you start feeling any better, as you it may cause a set back in recovery and make you feel worse (physically and mentally). Instead work towards small improvements and staying positive. Your mind is the one thing you can control, so ensure that it is always thinking positively. That is the best step you can take to control your condition. After that it is just making sure you take your meds regularly and eat the foods you need and can tolerate, and let the body and the meds do the work they are supposed to do. Things may not go exactly as planned, but you know you did all that you could.
No matter what happens, stay positive and don't let a bad day or two get you down. The future can hold relief, so work towards that.
