I've decided to go jump into the ocean today. This is it for me. But I wanted to tell my story in some anonymous way in case there is some last ditch effort I can be saved. I don't think there is though.
I've had refractory colitis for 6 years. I've done everything under the sun to get better. I'm not getting a colectomy, it will just lead to a limited life.
What I want is my life back, but that's never happening.
The person I just spent the last year with trying to build a partnership, I have to let them go now. They have a bright future and they can't have a sick person accompany them.
My family has been torn apart by my illness. My mother has been so worried for years that she has dementia now. She can't handle it.
I have no money, no job, no community, nothing. This disease has turned me into no one. So I'd rather just be no one.
There is absolutely nothing left to live for. I won't live in this pain anymore. Fuck you life, fuck you doctors, fuck you useless world. I am so angry at you for expecting me to live this way. I will hate you with my dying breath.
Now get me the hell out of here.
I've had refractory colitis for 6 years. I've done everything under the sun to get better. I'm not getting a colectomy, it will just lead to a limited life.
What I want is my life back, but that's never happening.
The person I just spent the last year with trying to build a partnership, I have to let them go now. They have a bright future and they can't have a sick person accompany them.
My family has been torn apart by my illness. My mother has been so worried for years that she has dementia now. She can't handle it.
I have no money, no job, no community, nothing. This disease has turned me into no one. So I'd rather just be no one.
There is absolutely nothing left to live for. I won't live in this pain anymore. Fuck you life, fuck you doctors, fuck you useless world. I am so angry at you for expecting me to live this way. I will hate you with my dying breath.
Now get me the hell out of here.
