Hey guys, just an update about surgery. For those who don't know I was scheduled for my first ever surgery Friday morning. I had many gall stones so I had my gall bladder removed. I was very nervous since I have never had any sort of surgery. The surgery was done laparoscopic. Things went as perfect as they possibly could according to my doctor. He even said that he could barely see any signs of my Crohns!! I am so excited. I'm not very sore since he never had to actually give me a cut and I am hoping that my Crohns is going in to remission since he couldn't see much. I know he wasn't right next to where all it could be but I am still excited! The only down side is that I can't lift anything over 5 pounds for 6 weeks!! That makes me sad since I have a 1 year old little girl. My family has been taking great care of me and helping me move around. My poor boyfriend is about to drive me crazy though!!!! He laid down onmy incisions today and got mad at ME cause it hurt me. Ugh! Thank you guys for the support, it really made me feel much better entering surgery. You guys are great!!:thumright:
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Update! :)
- Thread starter Gabismommy
- Start date
Hi Gabismommy,
Glad to hear you are doing better. Hopefully you will make a swift recovery and be able to pick up your little girl again soon. The more you rest now the faster you will heal. Tell that boyfriend of yours to behave himself after all he was not the one who just had surgery!
Glad to hear you are doing better. Hopefully you will make a swift recovery and be able to pick up your little girl again soon. The more you rest now the faster you will heal. Tell that boyfriend of yours to behave himself after all he was not the one who just had surgery!
Thank you! 
He is just in a bad mood. ALL THE TIME!!!! He was like that before I got sick. My mom says we are going to have an intervention! No matter what he is always negative and we are very happy people. It brings us down!
He is just in a bad mood. ALL THE TIME!!!! He was like that before I got sick. My mom says we are going to have an intervention! No matter what he is always negative and we are very happy people. It brings us down!
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
thats great news about your surgery. and kimmidwife is right.. tell your boyfriend to behave himself! (easier said than done lol)
hopefully your little girl and family can keep you feeling positive x
hopefully your little girl and family can keep you feeling positive
xyay! glad to hear you're doing well x
x
Angrybird
Moderator
- Location
- Hertfordshire
:dance: Yay! Really chuffed to hear it went well My first thought regarding the boyf is to tell him to buck up or naff off but then you could have been together a long time etc and you would really rather try and sort things out. Therefore I will just send gentle healing hugs :hug:
My first thought regarding the boyf is to tell him to buck up or naff off but then you could have been together a long time etc and you would really rather try and sort things out. Therefore I will just send gentle healing hugs :hug:Thanks guys!! Means a lot. I try to be nice to the bf but he is getting very frustrating. I have been with him for years and he is my daughter's father but he is just SO negative. It's driving me and my family crazy. No matter what he is always mad. Dragging is down and it puts my poor little girl in a bad mood. :/ I'm gonna end up beating him up one of these days guys!! Ahh! Not really, I'm too tiny. Haha.
Means a lot. I try to be nice to the bf but he is getting very frustrating. I have been with him for years and he is my daughter's father but he is just SO negative. It's driving me and my family crazy. No matter what he is always mad. Dragging is down and it puts my poor little girl in a bad mood. :/ I'm gonna end up beating him up one of these days guys!! Ahh! Not really, I'm too tiny. Haha.
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
The stress of him being so negative wont be helping your illness and vice versa.
i hope he realises soon that he needs to buck up his ideas!
(Or we can help u beat him up lol!)
i hope he realises soon that he needs to buck up his ideas!
(Or we can help u beat him up
lol!)Haha you are right! We may need to beat him up! He is drivin my poor momma insane. All he wants to do is sleep and he gets mad when he has to help with our daughter. I Think the most frustrating thing is that he can't stand not having the attention on him. Now that I am sick he is saying he is and he does that anytime someone is sick. Why would you want to be sick?!
Angrybird
Moderator
- Location
- Hertfordshire
How old is this man, nope sorry I mean BOY?!? Sounds to me like he neeeds to grow the f!?k up! Might need to be careful here, when I hear about inconsiderate plonkers I tend to graduate from an angrybird into a sweary mary
He is 22. He was being really now but now he is in a mood again because he has to go to work. Ugh!!!!!
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
Have you had a frank talk with him?
Im 24 and im a moody cow at the best of times (but thats a woman's perogative and im ill most of the time) lol! But i try to hide it from my 11mth old.
He needs to man up and realise that he needs to calm down for your daughters and your sake!
Wish i could help..
Im 24 and im a moody cow at the best of times (but thats a woman's perogative and im ill most of the time) lol! But i try to hide it from my 11mth old.
He needs to man up and realise that he needs to calm down for your daughters and your sake!
Wish i could help..
Thank you guys.
He and I have had many talks about things like this. The problem is that every time myself or family tries to say anything he just gets quiet and shuts down. He is one o those I have to be the victim kind o people so then he starts with saying we are attacking him and he is never able to do anything right maybe we re better off, etc. I love him very much it just seems as if there is NO getting through to him. He doesn't want to grow up but that is life. We all have to and he has a beautiful baby girl now. It just gets very upsetting at times. I have loved him for years but I want to make myself better than the drive thru girl at Sonic and he is content with us stayin pay check to pay check forever. His parents have always bailed him out so he thinks he doesn't have to do anything and should get a gold medal for working at all. He is mad because I have not let him move back in with myself and our daughter but I don't want to be stuck being his momma again. Isn't the man supposed to take care of us?! I do it all. Sorry to write a book about it, it just gets to be more than I can take at times.
Btw, my shoulder is really sore. Is that a problem or just my body being sore from surgery?
He and I have had many talks about things like this. The problem is that every time myself or family tries to say anything he just gets quiet and shuts down. He is one o those I have to be the victim kind o people so then he starts with saying we are attacking him and he is never able to do anything right maybe we re better off, etc. I love him very much it just seems as if there is NO getting through to him. He doesn't want to grow up but that is life. We all have to and he has a beautiful baby girl now. It just gets very upsetting at times. I have loved him for years but I want to make myself better than the drive thru girl at Sonic and he is content with us stayin pay check to pay check forever. His parents have always bailed him out so he thinks he doesn't have to do anything and should get a gold medal for working at all. He is mad because I have not let him move back in with myself and our daughter but I don't want to be stuck being his momma again. Isn't the man supposed to take care of us?! I do it all. Sorry to write a book about it, it just gets to be more than I can take at times.
Btw, my shoulder is really sore. Is that a problem or just my body being sore from surgery?
Plus he got MAD because I told him I wanted to go back to school soon so I can get a better job. I need insurance and I can't stay on Dad's forever. Wouldn't you think he should be proud I want to do better?
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
He sounds like my mum.. only problem is she's 50 and never gonna change
maybe he will? But u cant wait forever. i just hate it when they become all defensive and make u feel guilty!
maybe he will? But u cant wait forever. i just hate it when they become all defensive and make u feel guilty!
I know!! I'm starting to get tired of waiting on him to change though. :/
Gabismommy,
I hate to say this but he is never going to change especially if he doesn't want to change. Look at his family is his Dad the same way? The apple does not fall far from the tree as they say. You need to sit down and have a frank talk with him and say this is the last straw either shape up or ship out!
I hate to say this but he is never going to change especially if he doesn't want to change. Look at his family is his Dad the same way? The apple does not fall far from the tree as they say. You need to sit down and have a frank talk with him and say this is the last straw either shape up or ship out!
Actually his father committed suicide when he was 12 so idk what to compare him to. He was raised by his grand parents. Basically, both of his parents are worthless. His grandma was a druggie and his grandpa was always at work. He had a rough childhood but after a certain point you are old enough to know what is right, ya know? We all have problems and a lot more people had terrible child hoods than you think. It's not a reason to ruin your life.He likes to use it as an excuse. Like I said, he thinks he is a victim in everything. I really wish he would see a psychiatrist but he refuses. He won't listen to us when we try to talk to him. I am just running out of ideas/options. I have loved him for years but I don't want to be held back by him and I DEFINATELY don't want my baby held back by him. It's so conflicting..
It sounds like your BF has depression. Maybe bipolar. My beautiful wife has bipolar 1, and until we got her on medication that worked (which was only last week), my marriage was quickly becoming unmanageable. Like your Bf, any time I became ill, she would get very withdrawn, moody, and even pick fights with me! I finally gave her an ultimatum; get help, or it's over. She chose to get help because she realized the issue was her, and she loves me enough to do what is right for the both of us, and our family. I can't yet say that things are perfect, but it is getting better day by day.
Sometimes, when people feel vulnerable, they get angry and take that out on those closest to them. I am not condoning him being a bummer, I am just trying to give you perspective. I also can't speak for him, so I am basing my statements on my own experience.
It sucks that he is being so terrible, and getting him into therapy would be best for all involved. Maybe suggesting that you both go to therapy because YOU want to, and that you would like him to go (but mention that you are going regardless) may be what works to get him to take a proactive role in getting help. He is likely angry because the mother of his child is hurting, and he feels powerless in helping you get better. It is a terrible thing to see the one you love suffer knowing that there is nothing you can do about it. I have been there myself.
It is great that you stay with him in spite of his bummer attitude. It shows your love for him for sure. I hope for the both of you that he comes around before it's too late. If I have learned anything from being married; it's that you never give up on the one who means the most to you. These issues are only temporary, and your daughter only has one father. That alone makes him special.
Sometimes, when people feel vulnerable, they get angry and take that out on those closest to them. I am not condoning him being a bummer, I am just trying to give you perspective. I also can't speak for him, so I am basing my statements on my own experience.
It sucks that he is being so terrible, and getting him into therapy would be best for all involved. Maybe suggesting that you both go to therapy because YOU want to, and that you would like him to go (but mention that you are going regardless) may be what works to get him to take a proactive role in getting help. He is likely angry because the mother of his child is hurting, and he feels powerless in helping you get better. It is a terrible thing to see the one you love suffer knowing that there is nothing you can do about it. I have been there myself.
It is great that you stay with him in spite of his bummer attitude. It shows your love for him for sure. I hope for the both of you that he comes around before it's too late. If I have learned anything from being married; it's that you never give up on the one who means the most to you. These issues are only temporary, and your daughter only has one father. That alone makes him special.
I completely agree with you, love is worth fighting for. The big problem is that he has been this way for a very long time. It began before I got sick. I guess me getting sick is kind of everyone's breaking point as far as wanting to deal with it anymore. I have tried to take him to therapy and have been myself. I actually fight depression as well so I understand a good amount of what he feels. He just doesn't want to help himself and refuses to let anyone else try. Its kind of one of those you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink things I guess. I told him once about a week ago that I don't think I can take the negativity much longer. I am genuinely a fairly happy person. I just don't think he will ever change and I don't want to lose him. When we break up he drops off the face of the earth. He won't help with Gabi (the baby) financially or physically. He just goes back to partying and being EXTREMELY irresponsible if I'm not around to keep him in line basically. It is very stressful to feel like you never know if you will be enough to keep someone sober or if they are just going to run out on you again.
Thank you guys for listening to all of my ranting about him by the way, I just don't know what to do. He is slowly pushing all of us that care about him away and it seems that it does not bother him in the slightest. He never had a family and when we try to give him one he shuns us.
Anyways, you guys are AMAZING! You have been keeping me sane here lately now that I finally have somewhere to post/vent guilt free. Thank you all so much for the support and advice!
Thank you guys for listening to all of my ranting about him by the way, I just don't know what to do. He is slowly pushing all of us that care about him away and it seems that it does not bother him in the slightest. He never had a family and when we try to give him one he shuns us.
Anyways, you guys are AMAZING! You have been keeping me sane here lately now that I finally have somewhere to post/vent guilt free. Thank you all so much for the support and advice!
Whoa! Just read through this thread now. Gabismommy, even though i agree w a lot of the posts ITT about your BF, i know if i was you i wouldn't really want to keep hearing people telling me to tell him to shape up or ship out.
But i feel like i have to point out that the mental factors for illnesses like Crohn's such as stress and negativity can be devastating to the recovery process, and to retaining remission.
There have been people in my life who have brought me down, but i have actively tried to shut those people out of my life for the last few years. I am single right now, but at least there is no one bringing me down. Good luck, whatever you do :hug:
But i feel like i have to point out that the mental factors for illnesses like Crohn's such as stress and negativity can be devastating to the recovery process, and to retaining remission.
There have been people in my life who have brought me down, but i have actively tried to shut those people out of my life for the last few years. I am single right now
, but at least there is no one bringing me down. Good luck, whatever you do :hug:Thank you very much. It is all very frustrating. I don't know how much more I can take. Haha. It's getting to where everyone is avoiding him and I feel bad about I but he just ruins happiness..
It may be that your boyfriend has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) or Bipolar Disorder. I'm so sorry you have to put up with him. But remember that your priority is your daughter and your health as well as both of your happiness. Crohn's plays a lot on stress and any unnecessary stress in your life needs to be left alone and behind you. You have a lot going for you through your motivation and the fact that you have a gorgeous little girl that doesn't need to be around a negative environment like that of which your boyfriend brings.
A lot of patience and remember to do things for YOU and you baby girl's happy lives :heart:
A lot of patience and remember to do things for YOU and you baby girl's happy lives :heart:
Thank you so much Jin! I think I am goin to have to give in and try another talk and let him know that this really isn't going to work out like this! I'll probably have my mother help so he doesn't think it is just me attacking him. I hope it works. Gabi even seems more upset just when he is here. It's not fair to her!
I agree. I just don't know how to make him listen.. He completely shuts down when confronted about things.
Apart from the fact that most men don't listen, period lol, one that seems to have a mental/emotional battle with himself is also hard. My ex has BPD and the struggle was intense. My flare ups got worse because my stress levels were all too high when I was with him. I don't want the same to happen to you given that you have your health and precious daughter to look after. Take it a day at a time, though
I just don't have the energy to take care of him, myself, and the baby. Not to mention I am hopin to go back to work next week after my post op appointment and then I will be really tired! I just hope we can work this stuff out. It's just super hard when he doesn't want the help!
That is not the least bit sexist... More a reflection of the men you choose in your life.
Gabbismommy, ultimately you have to do what is best for you. What works for me, may not work for you. I understand that your BF's shutting down is hurting everyone involved, which is not good at all. Stress certainly preys upon CD in terrible ways, making stressful relationships much more of a strain for people like us. My relationship with my wife has landed me in the hospital twice, as well as triggering less severe flares. Even though everyone here has their opinion of how you should handle things, ultimately it is up to you to make those decisions. After all, we aren't living in your shoes.:shifty:
If he is unwilling to open up, there is no way to make him. If you have tried therapy and he is unwilling, at least you tried. I don't think it is healthy for you to have to raise your child, care for your illness, and babysit your BF as well. When someone is self destructive it has an effect on everyone involved. I know because I too have to deal with very similar issues.
All I can offer at this point, is to trust your gut. If you have to leave him, there are ways to make him culpable for paying child support. Although that comes with it's own stresses. I have been there too with my stepdaughter. If he is worth staying with, then realize that there will be tough times ahead.
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
i completely agree with slim_johnson above. it is ultimately your decision. he probably shuts down because he feels he's heard it all before,, and feels a bit helpless.
maybe you could talk again, and agree to draw a line under it so that you both can move on. whether thats together or not,.. or maybe trying a different tactic to change the current situation you both are in
but, its also fun to vent and thats what us girls do best hehe x
maybe you could talk again, and agree to draw a line under it so that you both can move on. whether thats together or not,.. or maybe trying a different tactic to change the current situation you both are in
but, its also fun to vent
and thats what us girls do best hehe xThank you guys. My mother and I had a long talk about it this morning. We are going to wait until this weekend and have a talk. She is mostly worried about the financial aspect. He doesn't help us financially at all. He will take us out to eat but that is all. I would rather have help with bills and diapers and wipes and everything. He will only come help with the baby on his days off but says he has to rest. He just really needs to step up for us. :/
I was joking
, hence the "lol". Women and men can be equally as difficult. I know heheGabismommy, I agree that it's your decision to make. Hopefully, there's a compromise all of you can come to so that everything is on a more positive note.
I hope so. Thank you for listening! it helps a lot o vent to you guys!
Thank you for listening! it helps a lot o vent to you guys!
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
I love venting. Ive just been to watch girl with a dragon tattoo... drooling over daniel craig is also another favourite pasttime of mine haha!!
Hope it goes well this weekend.if not.. you can always drool over daniel craig too!
haha!!Hope it goes well this weekend.if not.. you can always drool over daniel craig too!
Good Luck!!!
Thanks guys!
I wanna see that movie so bad! Was it good? I actually don't know who he is.. Maybe I'll have to research and drool! I've been watching Food Network as therapy. I always thought it was so stupid but these shows are cool! It makes me feel like I NEED to be a chef..
I wanna see that movie so bad! Was it good? I actually don't know who he is.. Maybe I'll have to research and drool! I've been watching Food Network as therapy. I always thought it was so stupid but these shows are cool! It makes me feel like I NEED to be a chef..
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
Daniel craig played james bond in casino royale.. and he is signed up to be james bond again in the next few films yummy yummy.
the girl with the dragon tattoo is an awesome film (i havent read the books) and its quite a graphic film as i had to look away at some bits x
yummy yummy.the girl with the dragon tattoo is an awesome film (i havent read the books) and its quite a graphic film as i had to look away at some bits x
Definitely drool worthy. Thanks for the eye candy. Always makes a girl feel better! I have the book, I read a couple chapters right before I got sick but I quit because I was having trouble concentrating on anything through the pain. I may try again soon since I am feeling a bit better. *knock on wood*
Btw, the boyfriend and I had a small talk and touched on a few things today. I am tryin to ease in to the subject so he doesn't feel like I am attacking him. He says he is going to help me more financially and he doesn't mean to be mean. I told him I understand however, he needs to work on it and for real this time. So I suppose we will see..
Thanks for the eye candy. Always makes a girl feel better! I have the book, I read a couple chapters right before I got sick but I quit because I was having trouble concentrating on anything through the pain. I may try again soon since I am feeling a bit better. *knock on wood*Btw, the boyfriend and I had a small talk and touched on a few things today. I am tryin to ease in to the subject so he doesn't feel like I am attacking him. He says he is going to help me more financially and he doesn't mean to be mean. I told him I understand however, he needs to work on it and for real this time. So I suppose we will see..
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
well thats positive fingers crossed it works out
fingers crossed it works outhaha. I know, i love food network. I got all into cooking over Christmas. Couldn't eat anything i was cooking or baking, but i still love creating cool stuff w food.
Well guys, it hit the fan this weekend. I honestly don't know that our relationship is going to be able to recover from this one but I am still trying. He told me I make him miserable and he tries as hard as he can and that I am never satisfied. That he shouldn't have to help me financially that my bills are my bills not his. I have never asked until I was out of work from being sick and I have only asked for him to help with the upcoming rent which I thought he would be willing to do since he pays no child support, doesn't buy diapers or wipes, and his daughter lives under that roof.. oh well.
Haha SnowDay, I am watching Food Network all day. The only time I have changed it was for Jeopardy and watching Kitchen Nightmares earlier.
Haha SnowDay, I am watching Food Network all day. The only time I have changed it was for Jeopardy and watching Kitchen Nightmares earlier.
For the record I am paying all of my other bills. Phone bill, power bill, gas bill. I have supplied our daughter's food, diapers, clothes, wipes, and toys. Whatever I didn't supply my parents have. He won't even come help us take care of her since my surgery and I can't lift her until I am healed. I supply the gas in my car. My own food. Cigarettes which I know I need to quit.I really don't see why asking him to help with rent one time is so bad..
As far as the negativity, he literally said all of it comes down to me being a bitch.. Literally EVERYTHING he says is because I'm a bitch and he is only reacting to me. Now I am a redhead and I can be fiesty but that is ridiculous. He also started a huge argument with my mother who is my best friend and refuses to even see her now. Its just getting to be way too much crap for me guys.
As far as the negativity, he literally said all of it comes down to me being a bitch.. Literally EVERYTHING he says is because I'm a bitch and he is only reacting to me. Now I am a redhead and I can be fiesty but that is ridiculous. He also started a huge argument with my mother who is my best friend and refuses to even see her now. Its just getting to be way too much crap for me guys.
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
He also needs to grow some f****ng balls and realise that ultimately - he's a dad. this shouldnt be affected by your relationship.. so even if you were the worst woman on the earth - a REAL man would still do all he could for his daughter!
Im so angry right now, and i dont even know him!
My mum was a complete bitch to my dad and kept moving me further away. but he persevered and he is the best dad ever
i hope he bucks up his ideas soon..
Im so angry right now, and i dont even know him!
My mum was a complete bitch to my dad and kept moving me further away. but he persevered and he is the best dad ever
i hope he bucks up his ideas soon..
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
Not just a douche... a mighty douche lol
I think the only way he will help me is if I take him to court.. My rent is 450 dollars, he have me 60 and 30 goes towards power.. He says that is his help. I really don't wanna skip my rent. He can be great but it's like he just gets sick of it. Like I said, I'm a red head I know I can be difficult but damn this is crap!!
You guys wanna come help me beat him up?
You guys wanna come help me beat him up?
The only reason my rent is so cheap is because I rent from a family friend. Previous renters were charged 600 a month and he charges me 450 a month because he knows I need help. I really don't want to let him down when he is helping me out so much.
Bozzylozzy, the baby in your pic is adorable!!
Snowday, my family has Irish roots (hence te red hair haha). What's it like in Ireland? I've always wanted to go there.
Snowday, my family has Irish roots (hence te red hair haha). What's it like in Ireland? I've always wanted to go there.
HOLY CRAP!!! What a total:
If he is talking like that to you, I think it's time to move on. He should not be so disrespectful to you!! That is NOT cool! Even the Missus thinks he should get the boot. We think you deserve better than that. So does the little one. You can send the state after him to pay child support. Then he won't be able to use it against you like he is now.
This guy is beyond depressed, he is being abusive to you, immaturely putting your relationships faults on you. Total BS. Moreover, he should not be using your daughter to punish you. He has a responsibility to his child, regardless of you.
If he is talking like that to you, I think it's time to move on. He should not be so disrespectful to you!! That is NOT cool! Even the Missus thinks he should get the boot. We think you deserve better than that. So does the little one. You can send the state after him to pay child support. Then he won't be able to use it against you like he is now.
This guy is beyond depressed, he is being abusive to you, immaturely putting your relationships faults on you. Total BS. Moreover, he should not be using your daughter to punish you. He has a responsibility to his child, regardless of you.
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
is this douche wars? haha!! slim_johnson that message made me laugh so much!
thanks gabismommy - she is beautiful! that little girl is my little one and she is one next wednesday!! eek.. time is going way too fast
thanks gabismommy - she is beautiful! that little girl is my little one and she is one next wednesday!! eek.. time is going way too fast
Pretty beautiful, a nice place to be if you want somewhere scenic and peaceful. The downside being that it can be pretty boring at times.
Slim that made my day. Really. I love you guys!
Idk, I honestly think I am putting off the inevitable by trying. I went back to work tonight for the first time since my surgery and he hasn't even mentioned it or asked about it or if I am okay. He has however texted about ten times telling me how he slept 11 hours but he still feels like shit and that his work is going to be so terrible and stuff. It just really hurts that he doesn't care. I just wish he would think of me first just once. I thought your girl or boyfriend was supposed to come first quite often and it hurts that I am never even close to that with him. I mean am I wrong? Do you guys think I am over reactting?
Snow, I am fairly used to boring. I live way out in the country. I have always heard that it is so beautiful. Wanna trade places for a while?
And oh my gosh Bozzy it does fly! My darling was born on 11/30 so she is about 14 months. It amazes me to watch her run around the house and terrorize the dogs and squeal. I want to hold her so bad but can't it is so frustrating. I'm a big cuddler. We are very loving in my family. What is your little one's name? She really is quite beautiful.
Thanks again guys, y'all seem to have a wonderful ability to brighten my day. I just took a pain pill, think I will pass out for the night now.
Idk, I honestly think I am putting off the inevitable by trying. I went back to work tonight for the first time since my surgery and he hasn't even mentioned it or asked about it or if I am okay. He has however texted about ten times telling me how he slept 11 hours but he still feels like shit and that his work is going to be so terrible and stuff. It just really hurts that he doesn't care. I just wish he would think of me first just once. I thought your girl or boyfriend was supposed to come first quite often and it hurts that I am never even close to that with him. I mean am I wrong? Do you guys think I am over reactting?
Snow, I am fairly used to boring. I live way out in the country. I have always heard that it is so beautiful. Wanna trade places for a while?
And oh my gosh Bozzy it does fly! My darling was born on 11/30 so she is about 14 months. It amazes me to watch her run around the house and terrorize the dogs and squeal. I want to hold her so bad but can't it is so frustrating. I'm a big cuddler. We are very loving in my family. What is your little one's name? She really is quite beautiful.
Thanks again guys, y'all seem to have a wonderful ability to brighten my day. I just took a pain pill, think I will pass out for the night now.
Btw Bozzy, how do I accept that request? sorry if that seems dumb but I can't seem to make it work.
Nevermind, I figured it out. Woohoo!!
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
haha glad you figured it out
shes called amy, we have quite a long surname so wanted a nice short first name for her
i know exactly how you feel about being unable to cuddle your little 'un. i had amy by c-section which got badly infected (couldnt walk or do anything for 6 weeks!) and then last september i had my appendix out, but luckily i felt better after a few days. all this was very hard because i breastfed for 7months and had to stop due to going on steroids. i cried lots when i gave her her last feed
hopefully you'll feel better soon and can grab lots of cuddles! after all - cuddle therapy is the best therapy :heart:
shes called amy, we have quite a long surname so wanted a nice short first name for her
i know exactly how you feel about being unable to cuddle your little 'un. i had amy by c-section which got badly infected (couldnt walk or do anything for 6 weeks!) and then last september i had my appendix out, but luckily i felt better after a few days. all this was very hard because i breastfed for 7months and had to stop due to going on steroids.
i cried lots when i gave her her last feed hopefully you'll feel better soon and can grab lots of cuddles! after all - cuddle therapy is the best therapy :heart:
Happy to put a smile on your face!
I think it's a shame that the BF isn't doing what he should be to support you. I also agree at this point that you are likely putting off the inevitable.. (although it's hard to say not being in the realtionship..) He should be very concerned with you! You are the child of his mother for crying out loud... Ugh. Truly a shame. I really feel like you deserve better than this, as does everyone else who has read this (your mom too!).
Good luck getting through this. Stay strong!! :hugs:
I think it's a shame that the BF isn't doing what he should be to support you. I also agree at this point that you are likely putting off the inevitable.. (although it's hard to say not being in the realtionship..) He should be very concerned with you! You are the child of his mother for crying out loud... Ugh. Truly a shame. I really feel like you deserve better than this, as does everyone else who has read this (your mom too!).
Good luck getting through this. Stay strong!! :hugs:
Well put, Slim. I agree.Happy to put a smile on your face!
I think it's a shame that the BF isn't doing what he should be to support you. I also agree at this point that you are likely putting off the inevitable.. (although it's hard to say not being in the realtionship..) He should be very concerned with you! You are the child of his mother for crying out loud... Ugh. Truly a shame. I really feel like you deserve better than this, as does everyone else who has read this (your mom too!).
Good luck getting through this. Stay strong!! :hugs:
Thank you guys. I haven't been on for a few days. I just started working again. I have been going to the doctors a lot. I have an abscess. It's feeling much better today. I'm in the least amount of pain that I have been in for months literally. Maybe my body is starting to get under control again. Can't wait until I can get through a day without a pain pill. Haha. Cuddle time with my little girl has improved, my tummy feels almost completely healed from surgery. Kinda looks like an alien attack though! Working makes me pretty sore some days but gotta take care of my baby. I'll be a lot less stressed when I get my taxes back and can actually stay at my own house again. I miss being at home. Things with the boyfriend are about the same. I'm tired of arguing so we kinda just don't talk much. Every time we do he pushes sexual stuff and it really upsets me. Oh well. He says he is going to bring me rent money tomorrow so I guess we will see if that happens. I hardly see him. I dread it usually and the. My tummy starts acting up. This past weekend my little girl cried just at the sight of him. It really broke my heart. She cries when she sees dad. What kind of father is that? I want better for her. It's just hard to make myself do what I know I need to. Through all of this he just wants to outdo me. He has never been to a doctors visit. He doesn't ask how they went or what is going on with my condition. He missed
My surgery. He yelled at me for makin him keep
Our daughter two weeks ago for 2 hours because he had to go to work that night. I can't help how long a doctor visit takes. That is te first time he has kept her alone in over 6 months. I just don't see why I'm the bad guy. He says I'm mean and that I make him feel worthless because I won't have sex or give him a blowjob.
My surgery. He yelled at me for makin him keep
Our daughter two weeks ago for 2 hours because he had to go to work that night. I can't help how long a doctor visit takes. That is te first time he has kept her alone in over 6 months. I just don't see why I'm the bad guy. He says I'm mean and that I make him feel worthless because I won't have sex or give him a blowjob.
What a creep...
Sounds like a power struggle has ensued between the two of you.. Sex is not a means to an end, and how can you be intimate with someone who strikes fear in your daughter? (probably you as well..)
Next time he wants sex, hand him a tissue, and tell him to go Fvck himself!
Sounds like a power struggle has ensued between the two of you.. Sex is not a means to an end, and how can you be intimate with someone who strikes fear in your daughter? (probably you as well..)
Next time he wants sex, hand him a tissue, and tell him to go Fvck himself!
- Location
- Sheffield, UK
omg, the last thing i wanted after surgery was sex.. and me and my hubby arent arguing!!
pffft... he needs some sense knocking into him!
pffft... he needs some sense knocking into him!
Well guys, I'm back. Sorry, I returned to work and things have been pretty hectic. Things with the guy don't really change. I'm scheduled for more surgery on Tuesday now. I'm pretty nervous. I hope it's simple. I'll have to miss more work. Ugh..
More surgery?? That is terrible.. I hope you have your mom to help you with things. I'm impressed you are working! Work has been out of my vocabulary for almost three years now.. Keep your chin up!
Yes, I have a peri-rectal abscess and possibly a fistula. I have mom to help. Dad and uncle help a lot too. I'm pretty sure I'm single now. Been a rough day. Working usually distracts me. Luckily I did for about 2 weeks and hopefully will only be out for a week this time. I hope so, I really need distractions right now.
I have mom to help. Dad and uncle help a lot too. I'm pretty sure I'm single now. Been a rough day. Working usually distracts me. Luckily I did for about 2 weeks and hopefully will only be out for a week this time. I hope so, I really need distractions right now.Single? Congratulations..? I think. It might suck now, however once you have him paying child support, and he is no longer draining your soul, you will be happier. Even if he thinks he doesn't need to pay up, you can have the state convince him otherwise. It will not be fun going through the custody BS.. it's worth it in the long run. It's great you have family support to get through the tough times. My family was in total denial, until about 6 months ago, aside from my wife; people thought I was just faking it, or making things out to be worse than they really are.. If they only knew!
Things will be better, I promise!
Things will be better, I promise!
I think my dad thinks I fake it sometimes. Then he came home when I was at work and was telling my mom all about abscesses freaking out. It was cute. I definitely see now how they say there's good Crohns days and bad Crohns days. I'm sure there is more to come but I'll enjoy the good ones when I can. I don't know if I am happy or sad without him. I've been with him 7 years. He told me all I do is use him and I am
So selfish and live in a fake perfect world of how I think things should be and he bets I have already replaced him. That I'm just trashing him now when I get money because I went back to work. Nice to finally know what he really thinks after all this time. I just feel stupid because through all of this I love him. Ugh. I'm nervous about court but ya gotta do what you gotta do. I may already have custody. I'm going to look in to it. Thank you!
Since you listen to my rants all the time, how are you? How do you feel? Things okay?
So selfish and live in a fake perfect world of how I think things should be and he bets I have already replaced him. That I'm just trashing him now when I get money because I went back to work. Nice to finally know what he really thinks after all this time. I just feel stupid because through all of this I love him. Ugh. I'm nervous about court but ya gotta do what you gotta do. I may already have custody. I'm going to look in to it. Thank you!
Since you listen to my rants all the time, how are you? How do you feel? Things okay?
Here's how I am doing...
The important thing about custody, it is more favorable for you if you already have physical custody of your child. Here in Utah, the state favors whoever already has physical custody, when it comes to establishing legal custody.
I think you are going to be alright without the BF. He sounds emotionally abusive, which is something nobody should have to endure. I had some trouble with my wife recently, however, she had a moment of clarity, and we are much better for it now.
When it comes to raising a child and juggling CD, you need to keep the stress to a minimum. So, take things one day at a time...! You will prevail!
The important thing about custody, it is more favorable for you if you already have physical custody of your child. Here in Utah, the state favors whoever already has physical custody, when it comes to establishing legal custody.
I think you are going to be alright without the BF. He sounds emotionally abusive, which is something nobody should have to endure. I had some trouble with my wife recently, however, she had a moment of clarity, and we are much better for it now.
When it comes to raising a child and juggling CD, you need to keep the stress to a minimum. So, take things one day at a time...! You will prevail!
Thank you. I definitely want complete legal custody of my little girl. He is very emotionally abusive. He was texting me all morning cussing me out. I am shocked by the things he said. He knew I had surgery this morning and was starting crap the entire time. I just want him to leave me alone. I'm pretty sore right now but it's time for my pain pills. Guess I'll try to eat and go on to bed.
Save your text messages. They will help you in court.
I will definitely be doing that.
Have you ever had an abscess slim? I gotta say, they suck !
How are things with the wife?
Have you ever had an abscess slim? I gotta say, they suck !
How are things with the wife?
I think so.. It's hard to say because the damage I have is all internal. As I understand it though, fistulae from out of abscesses. I have several fistulae. I am going to make some appointments tomorrow to hopefully get one step closer to surgery. Lately it's been one step forward, two steps back.. If you read my thread, you get what I am saying. :grimace:
As far as things with the Missus, they couldn't be better! Since we figured out what her issues were, we have managed to straighten things out, making the home life much more bearable. At one point, I was going through what you are, and was thinking about leaving. Now, it's 180* different. Thankfully so! I can only hope that she and I can stay afloat on this ship, as it has been one of the best experiences of my life.
As far as things with the Missus, they couldn't be better! Since we figured out what her issues were, we have managed to straighten things out, making the home life much more bearable. At one point, I was going through what you are, and was thinking about leaving. Now, it's 180* different. Thankfully so! I can only hope that she and I can stay afloat on this ship, as it has been one of the best experiences of my life.
As far as I know I just have the one fistula and just had surgery on it. I have a seton I believe, it hasn't been called a seton but I'm almost positive that it is one. I'm finally starting to not feel quite as sore. I was almost dependent on pain killers for a few days. :/ I hope you can get everything worked out soon, I'm sure it's very frustrating. :/ I can come beat some docs up for ya when I get healed up!
I'm very glad you guys are doing well. My parents went through basically the exact same when I was much younger and now are as happy as can be and have been for a few years straight. It's amazing how things can change and hope you guys can do the same!! Unfotunately I think for me to ever be truly happy I'll probably have to move on. I don't see him growing up anytime soon. Oh well, I've come to terms with it in all honesty.
It is super rainy here today, I just want to sleep!!
I'm very glad you guys are doing well. My parents went through basically the exact same when I was much younger and now are as happy as can be and have been for a few years straight. It's amazing how things can change and hope you guys can do the same!!
Unfotunately I think for me to ever be truly happy I'll probably have to move on. I don't see him growing up anytime soon. Oh well, I've come to terms with it in all honesty. It is super rainy here today, I just want to sleep!!