Useless Talents

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farm

farm

Captain Insaneo
Joined
Jun 17, 2009
Messages
6,375
Do you have an useless talent? Maybe some useless knowledge you'd like to share?

I can play the Bass with my feet while playing the acoustic guitar with my hands...
 
I can pick up objects with my toes...that's not useless though....My husband says I can clean my ears with my tongue...That is very useful too?..All my talents are useful!
 
I can flick a pen around my thumb.
I can do the wave with my arms.
I can blow spit bubbles off my tongue.
I have some more but I just woke up so there are a few
 
not had the need recently, but a few years back when i had eaten all my fingernails i would start on my toes. hubby would moan, but he would cut his toenails on the bed. having to sleep with toenail cuttings aint fun.
 
I can do "the snake" with my body and completely gross out my teenager (who can't do it and gets pissy). Now THAT'S useful!
 
Santos61198 said:
I can wiggle my baby toes apart from the rest. Hard to explain really.... but I assure you, it's useless.
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I can do that too!! I can also wiggle my ears, and all my fingers are double jointed (it actually grosses people out....lol).

I can put my ankles behind my ears, but that's not a useless talent...lmao
 
I can make my freakishly large tongue move in weird ways.
I can wiggle my ears.
I can pick things up with my feet (this is semi useful, I guess)
If someone asked me to put my foot in my mouth I could do it. But I know where they've been so I'd prefer not to. :p
 
hey - I can wiggle my ears too! And I can flare my piggy nostrils out really big too - kinda like a bunny does. I think if you can do one of those two you can typically do both. My oldest daughter can do both and my husband and youngest can do neither.

I see you...I see you trying it!!
 
Peaches said:
hey - I can wiggle my ears too! And I can flare my piggy nostrils out really big too - kinda like a bunny does. I think if you can do one of those two you can typically do both. My oldest daughter can do both and my husband and youngest can do neither.

I see you...I see you trying it!!
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I do those too lol
 
Wiles said:
I can make my freakishly large tongue move in weird ways.
I can wiggle my ears.
I can pick things up with my feet (this is semi useful, I guess)
If someone asked me to put my foot in my mouth I could do it. But I know where they've been so I'd prefer not to. :p
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I think we were born from the same Freak Show......I do all that stuff too! Plus I love The Big Lebowski....every time I see your dude avatar I smile.....Maybe we are related?
 
Maybe we were twins separated at birth by geography and time!

There's just something about the Dude that makes him inherently likable. He has an irreverent and zen-like approach to life that is pretty awesome!
 
Please someone video the ears deal! I wanna see that.

My son says I have monkey feet because I play the bass with them and can pick shit up with them.
My nose pops loudly because it's been broken so many times and I can protrude my collar bone from the break it had and it never got "set" correctly.

Oh and I can shit and peel paint!
 
farm said:
Oh and I can shit and peel paint!
Click to expand...

The Crohnie smell power is far from useless!

If governments only knew what we were capable of! They'd create a special operations branch to their secret agencies consisting only of people with Crohn's disease. Need a room cleared? That's easy, we're silent, but deadly!
 
I can also wiggle my ears, flare my nose, and raise my hairline. Can you guys do all those things at once...yeah I can. I used to be able to ride a unicycle but I don't think I could do that now.
 
That's great Shantel.....I can't do anything without getting caught, so I don't even try!....Freakin' homing device on my butt!
 
Well....he is in there playing the PS3 (remember - the one we were buying ONLY as a bluray/Netflix device???) right now - so he can't give me too much crap!
 
I can also pick up stuff with my toes....My dad taught me with dimes. LOL. Such family bonding we had! ;)
Um, i can stick my whole fist in my mouth, and i do a pretty awesome 'pec flex' with my boobs.
 
Oh I can put 30 quarters on my elbow and then pop them up in the air and catch all of them with one hand.

I can also pick a nickle up off the concrete floor (laying flat) with a forklift.
 
You have someone tell you, "I bet you can't do _____", then you do it and now it's a new uesless talent. Has anyone watched Demetri Martin's useless talents, now that guy has a lot of useless/useful talents.
 
I can stick my Tongue up my nose... I realised I could do it after I spotted my son doing it in a rather gross snot excavation routine...

I have double jointed fingers...

And... I play the bum trumpet like a pro!

My only genuine talent is public speaking, I don't get any nerves and love hosting conferences to 100s of people... Sadly there is a limit to how many people you can fit in a toilet so those glory days are over! You couldn't strap me to a mike these days anyway - my bum trumpet is too loud and needs tuning!
 
Aw, Mark and I have a lot in common.

God Lishy, I can always count on you to make me bust out laughing!!! LOL
 
Is this the lounge?

I have one particular talent which has been rendered useless because I no longer have a man to use it on ;)

My most useless talent appears to be picking the wrong guy to have a relationship with!
 
tamesis said:
Farm, how do you figure out that you can do those in the first place?! LOL
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Down here in the country we have Nothing Better 2 Do!!!
 
I still can't think any talents lol

does putting on weight count as a useless talent lol
 
Me and Ris are the worlds BEST nicknamers!
I nickname hundreds of kids each year; coaching baseball and football and I have a habit of nicknaming everyone I meet. I have never (knock on wood) used the same nickname twice.

Ain't that right, Smokie, Sumba, Peaches, M&M, etc etc :)
 
And (I'm full of useless, um *talents*) I taught myself to play Bass, Guitar, Banjo, and Piano. Anything I listen to 100 times on the radio I can play on the guitar.
 
farm said:
Me and Ris are the worlds BEST nicknamers!
I nickname hundreds of kids each year; coaching baseball and football and I have a habit of nicknaming everyone I meet. I have never (knock on wood) used the same nickname twice.

Ain't that right, Smokie, Sumba, Peaches, M&M, etc etc :)
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'cuse me dahling - but Rissy gave me my nickname !!! So go for it - what would you nickname me bro?
 
I can pick up a nickel with a forklift also, Farm. Its a good why to make some money.

I can also pick my nose......with my tongue. So not a useless talent having a talented tongue.
 
Pirate said:
I can pick up a nickel with a forklift also, Farm. Its a good why to make some money.

I can also pick my nose......with my tongue. So not a useless talent having a talented tongue.
Click to expand...

Now if you could pick up that nickel with your butt cheeks, that would be impressive! lol
 
shazamataz said:
I can poop and vomit at the same time, that's pretty useful!
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I can do that too!! It's only bad when there's not a wastebasket near by....lol
 
I always have a bucket in mine though I rarely have to use it. I had an 'attack' at the movies a while back and it was so very unpleasant having to switch between sitting and pooping and turning round to throw up in a public bathroom!!! :(
 
Oh Janis just reminded me of a useless talent that I have.

I can talk like Donald Duck. Grandkids love it.
 
Ahhh, my Dad used to do that!! The kids loved it! I miss my Dad :O( This sounds familiar Pirate - have we had this discussion before ?
 
I miss my dad too! Pirate your mom and my mom are almost the same age. My mom is 73.

(What thread is this??)
 
farm said:
I miss my dad too! Pirate your mom and my mom are almost the same age. My mom is 73.

(What thread is this??)
Click to expand...
Hey you - my mom just turned 73!!! I thought we had the same daddy - not the same momma!!
 
You can hav the weight back shazza

i got a bout 30 I'd like get rid of so take em all an share em round if ya like lol
 
The whole vomitting while pooping makes me think of last time i went to the emergency. I had been throwing up and pooping for a few days, and brought my bucket with me. Well, i had to run to the can so quickly i forgot my bucket. Sitting on the toilet, had to vomit, and had to shove some tp in my bum crack, while waddling across to grab the garbage can and puke in it. Which was uber nasty.....YUCK!
 
Uhm... I can flex my boobies. It's rather useless, but it entertains me. lol.

I can do a back handspring. Can't do a cartwheel though. Explain that one.

I can pick up things with my feet. Freaked my old roomie out when my pack of cigs fell, and I picked 'em up with my feet.

I can do that whole cross the legs and walk on the knees thing.

lol, and the things I discovered after a visit to the strip club with my ex. We were watching and it became a whole... "So, you think you can do that?" kinda thing. So of course, we got home later, and there was challenge time. I'm proud that I can still do a split. And apparently I can fold myself up all pretzel like because I can get both feet behind my head. (This flexibility, I learned YEARS ago, is also usefel if you ever decide to crawl into a college dorm dryer). And... I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt.

TMI, I know. But, it made me happy to know I could do cool stuff.
 
I can wiggle my nose up and down like a bunny. Always makes people laugh so I guess it isn't all that useless. :p
 
all i got is the amazing ability to touch my nose with my tongue...

....and being able to cross my eyes independantly of each other....


tis why i am sure i am bound for better things in this life :) with those talents how can i not be famous....
 
..... useless talent, i can bite my tounge, and keep my mouth shut. oh i so proved this this morning at the bloody stupid neurosurgeon.!!!!! why didnt i say what i was thinking ? so bloody mad now.
 
@ThatGuy...you either have a very long tongue, or very short arms....lol
 

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