so im 21 ive had crohns for 6 years now and it used to be ok i didnt mind it pain is pain i can handle that but after so long of handling it and taking it day by day and just pushing through all the time i slowly broke nd now i dont want anything anymore i cant bring myself to do anything i just keep pushing through like everyone always tells you but im tired now, i dont want to keep pushing anymore
i thought i would never break suicide has never been an answer and still isnt but i keep thinking about a forum i read several years ago about a guy who had lived with crohns all his life and he had lived a good life found a wife had a house job all of that but he couldnt do it anymore his post said he was just done with the pain and if he couldnt get his life on track he was going to end it, he had even talked about it with his wife and she ovboistly wasnt for it but she understood where he was coming from and wasnt going to stand in his way.
when i read it that post was a year or 2 old
he had never posted again
i wanted to message him to see if he did come out of it
but i knew what had happened he gave up
and his wife was left without him
when i read it i was looking for a success story and at the time i didnt dwell on it but latley ive been thinking about what he said and if he pushed through it all his life to no avail, am i just doing that to ? will i actually give in one day and stop fighting, im so conflicted because i have pushed through so much and am not the type of person to give up but im just broken and tired from pushing through for so long and i want to give up, but i cant because death isnt a release for me and it doesnt scare me, life does
i thought i would never break suicide has never been an answer and still isnt but i keep thinking about a forum i read several years ago about a guy who had lived with crohns all his life and he had lived a good life found a wife had a house job all of that but he couldnt do it anymore his post said he was just done with the pain and if he couldnt get his life on track he was going to end it, he had even talked about it with his wife and she ovboistly wasnt for it but she understood where he was coming from and wasnt going to stand in his way.
when i read it that post was a year or 2 old
he had never posted again
i wanted to message him to see if he did come out of it
but i knew what had happened he gave up
and his wife was left without him
when i read it i was looking for a success story and at the time i didnt dwell on it but latley ive been thinking about what he said and if he pushed through it all his life to no avail, am i just doing that to ? will i actually give in one day and stop fighting, im so conflicted because i have pushed through so much and am not the type of person to give up but im just broken and tired from pushing through for so long and i want to give up, but i cant because death isnt a release for me and it doesnt scare me, life does
