• Welcome to Crohn's Forum, a support group for people with all forms of IBD. While this community is not a substitute for doctor's advice and we cannot treat or diagnose, we find being able to communicate with others who have IBD is invaluable as we navigate our struggles and celebrate our successes. We invite you to join us.

Sticky You Are Not A Burden!!!

DustyKat

Super Moderator
Well I was going to put this in the "If you could offer ONE piece of advice to a Crohn's sufferer" thread but I don't think it fits there (((shrug))).

If you are fortunate enough, and I only say that 'cause I know some of you on here aren't supported by your family :(, to have loved ones that care about you please know that you are not a burden to us. We do what we do for you because we love you more than life itself.

We understand your struggles and are there with you.

We wish we could take the pain away and when we can't we are there to hold your hand, cuddle and soothe you.

We are there to cry with you and for you.

We are there to clean up after you.

We are there when you have to endure difficult diets.

We are there when you are admitted for long and frightening hospital stays.

We are there to support and advocate for you when you go to see your doctors and have tests.

We are there to remind you to take your tablets. :)

We are there to listen when this bloody disease is too much to bear.

We are there to fight for you when all hope is gone.

We wish more than anything in the world that you didn't have this disease.

We rejoice with you when you are in remission and times are good.

.............................. and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Dusty.
 
Last edited:

Crohn's 35

Inactive Account
Well said, Dusty...there is nothing more to add! Thanks for this, it has be reported that we need family and friends, not just for support but for love and laughter. It is healthier for living a better life. Kudo's !!
 
Thank you for this. I have felt like a burden to my husband many times. I even went through a phase where I thought he would leave me because being with me has to be a bummer. (this disease really has worn on my emotional state) I was wrong, he still loves me even though I have poop issues!
 

Cat-a-Tonic

Super Moderator
Dusty, that brought tears to my eyes (not necessarily a good thing, since I'm at work). Thank you for writing that. And Teeny, your post could have been written by me. I know my hubby doesn't totally understand what I'm going through, and he gets really frustrated sometimes, but he's also not going anywhere and I appreciate him so much for trying to understand. :)
 
Wow, thank you for this! I know I am a burden to my dad - he doesn't understand anything I go through - that's why I moved away from him bc he gets mad anytime I am in the hospital or sick.

It's so good to have a place like this to go to where we can all support each other!
 
Dustykat,

That is one of the most compassionate and wonderfully written things I have ever seen on this forum. Well Put, well done. (you rock!):applause::applause::applause::applause:
 
I wanted to add, for the people who are not fortunate enough to have friends and family members directly in their lives who understand and are supportive, that a lot of the things Dusty wrote in her post apply to what this community can provide for others. So, even though you may not have the support of family, there are so many people on this forum that care about you in a lot of those ways! And we don't think you are a burden either!! :)

Teeny - I get in moods like that sometimes when I feel bad for "giving" this terrible life to my husband, but he doesn't look at it that way at all and still loves and supports me even when I'm being irrational like that, haha!
 
I read this to my fiance he just said that he'd support me through anything. Thanks Dusty for posting that...it made me feel less useless and pathetic.

I have to say i've never met a nicer bunch than the people on this forum crohnie or family members it's fast becoming a refuge when i'm scared. Just reading the posts helps.

:ghug:
 
That is a very touching post.. it brought tears to my eyes. Everyone on the this forum are great wonderful people. Thank you so much for all you do
 
This was a great post! Sometimes I feel like a burden, and honestly some people in my family feel like I am too, even though they love me. It is very stressful for them.
The one person who NEVER makes me feel like a burden is the one who has to take care of me the most; my husband. He is always there to take care of me when I am sick and he is never fazed by any poo or ostomy issues. He loves me as much as I love him and I am very lucky to have him.
Even so, from time to time I feel bad for him for having to go through all of this because of me, but it is my issue not his. Honestly, it’s like he doesn’t even see the ostomy he is so un-fazed by it. 
 

DustyKat

Super Moderator
Thanks for all the replies. :)

Many of you have mentioned that you do indeed feel a burden to your significant loved one and this is the very reason I wrote this. I do my utmost to understand how it must be from your perspective and I can't help but imagine that you must have feelings of helplessness and dependency. I hope in some small way it is a reassurance to you that we don't see you that way and never will.

I understand that there are people on this forum that don't have this support in their private lives and that is heartbreaking to me but I think this forum may fill that void in many ways. What a godsend that here you can find friendship, support, laughter, information, knowledge and unconditional acceptance. Kudos to you all!!!

Dusty :)
 
Dusty, this is so beautifully written. In fact, I can't wait to show my husband. I think this is what he was trying to get across to me the other day when he re-did his vows. He's letting me know he's there or me, no matter what. Just like all of you are. and the dedication and support are sometimes the only thing that gets me through. And instead of dwelling on the pain, the tests, the hospitals, we are all able to put our sense of humor together because, after all, laughter is the best medicine, right up there with the unconditional love. This forum and the friends I have found here are priceless. I just hope I can help out at least half of what I get. You all are the very, very best.
 
Dusty, this is so beautifully written. In fact, I can't wait to show my husband. I think this is what he was trying to get across to me the other day when he re-did his vows. He's letting me know he's there or me, no matter what. Just like all of you are. and the dedication and support are sometimes the only thing that gets me through. And instead of dwelling on the pain, the tests, the hospitals, we are all able to put our sense of humor together because, after all, laughter is the best medicine, right up there with the unconditional love. This forum and the friends I have found here are priceless. I just hope I can help out at least half of what I get. You all are the very, very best.
You are indeed lucky to have "one of the good guys" as your hubby, and for him to be a romantic as well? Good catch Miss B. Conversely, the forum family is lucky to have yet another gentle person around to share wisdom and offer empathy to those of us who are at a spot where they are "licking their wounds". Thanks for all that you have already shared Bev, you are very kind.
 
Thanks I needed to read that. I am feeling like a burden lately. Not just a burden but I feel depressed and not able to help others who are asking something from me. I have nothing to give. I need my own bucket filled. Wonder how I can do that inexpensively.
I think I'll catch a concert in the park on Thursday and go visit some friends tonight. I wish there was a 3 -4 hour church service. That always makes me feel better. Peace and hope.
 

Astra

Moderator
ooo bit late with this Dusty
and it's too late to show my husband, cos I've binned him!
burden? no, he was the burden, I was the ill one!!

lovely and compassionate and straight from the heart!
POTW for sure babe!
xxxxxxxxx
 

Dexky

To save time...Ask Dusty!
Location
Kentucky
Well I was going to put this in the "If you could offer ONE piece of advice to a Crohn's sufferer" thread but I don't think it fits there (((shrug))).

If you are fortunate enough, and I only say that 'cause I know some of you on here aren't supported by your family :(, to have loved ones that care about you please know that you are not a burden to us. We do what we do for you because we love you more than life itself.

We understand your struggles and are there with you.

We wish we could take the pain away and when we can't we are there to hold your hand, cuddle and soothe you.

We are there to cry with you and for you.

We are there to clean up after you.

We are there when you have to endure difficult diets.

We are there when you are admitted for long and frightening hospital stays.

We are there to support and advocate for you when you go to see your doctors and have tests.

We are there to remind you to take your tablets. :)

We are there to listen when this bloody disease is too much to bear.

We are there to fight for you when all hope is gone.

We wish more than anything in the world that you didn't have this disease.

We rejoice with you when you are in remission and times are good.

.............................. and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Dusty.
Just wanted this to go back to the top of the page!!!
 

Silvermoon

Moderator
A bump... and something to add to it...

For Regular Joe, and Kello82, and Jettalady, and Astra101, and MisB, and Maddie and her family, and Jerman, and ameslouise... and all the rest out there that I can't remember their names right now cause my brain is on overload (lol :redface: )... just remember WE are here for you.....

I’d like to capture a rainbow
and stick it in a big box
so that,
anytime you wanted to,
you could reach in and pull out
a piece of sunshine.


I’d like to build you a mountain
that you could call your very own
a place to find serenety
in those times when you
feel the need to be
closer to yourself.



I’d like to be the one
Who’s there with you when you’re
lonely or troubled
or just need
someone
to hold on to...


I’d like to do all this and more
to make your life happy.


But sometimes
it isn’t easy to do
the things I would like to do
or give the things I would
like to give.


So... until I learn how to
catch rainbows and build mountains
let me do for you
that which I know best...


...Let me simply be
your friend.

~Jacqueline J. Hancock
 
Last edited:
Good job I am typing and not speaking as I would have a big lump in my throat.....
Lovely words do you mind if I write them down in a card for my hubby?
Debs
 

Silvermoon

Moderator
If you are talking about the Rainbow poem, go ahead... lol....I didn't write it... I had it given to me by a friend, and have been passing it on to others ever since....

Dusty's post you gotta ask her about ;)
 
Last edited:

DustyKat

Super Moderator
Have just been having a chat with Matt and he was thanking me for being here for him, oh boy that made the tears well up! Anyway there are quite a few newbies here so I thought I would rehash this thread so that you know you are not a burden to those in your lives that truly love and appreciate you.

Dusty. :hug:
 
Dusty,
I did not see this the first time, thank you so much for refreshing the post! I did say something not long ago to my wonderful husband about being a burden. He looked at me and said that I never complained about cooking him a special meal when he was on his "i have got to loose weight" diets or his "oh boy I need to get into shape" diets and I never made him feel as if his OCD was a problem, so why was I wigging out now about poop?
You are a wonderful mom and I have the world's best husband.
Michele
 

AndiGirl

Your Story Forum Monitor
I wanted to humbly say, "Thank you." Your post means a lot and was one of the nicest things that was said to me lately.
 
Thanks Dusty for your wonderful post it meant a lot and made me feel less of a burden on my hubby, family and friends. I had tears reading it as I have been struggling with similar thoughts and in one post you have made me feel so much better.

My hubby is always telling me this but I still feel bad that he ended up with a dud wife as he didn't choose this life as I got sick 3 months after our wedding! I appreciate him being there for me and the best husband I could ask for dealing with me having crohns plus arthritis.
 
Hi Dusty,
so nice to be reading this right now. It's just how I feel..a bloody nuisance to family and friends. Back in hospital and feel sorry for them that are again putting a temp halt to their lives to come back and forth here to see me. I know it's not my fault for having this disease, but they didn't ask for it either!
Thanks for bumping this back up- missed it 1st time around.
 
Thank you Dusty,

I am going thru a really rough time right now. Lots of anxiety and my husband
(who never get sick) has not been the greatest. We have alot going on in other areas too. But thanks again :)

Mary
 

DustyKat

Super Moderator
Thanks guys. :hug:

I am in awe of your ability to rise above adversity and deal with this disease day in and day out. The spoken word doesn't seem sufficient to express that feeling but if what I, and Silver, have written has conveyed even half of what is felt then perhaps I have done something approaching a half decent job! :lol:

Dusty. :)
 

Jessi

Moderator
I really just wanted to bump this back to the top, because it's so beautiful. Thanks again, DustyKat! What a loving and compassionate person you are!
 
I have always known Dusty is AWESOME. Jessi, you are AWESOME too. I know my wife Sandy has needed this because of her seizures and crap lately. I have needed it too. Jessi thanks for sending the link to us.
 
Thank you for this Dusty. Reading it allowed me to cry, which I've been needing to do for weeks but for whatever reason, haven't been able to.
:kiss:
xx
 

Jessi

Moderator
We're all just here for each other! I believe that's what this life on Earth is all about. Share love with others and help to lift them back to their feet again.

My husband recently confessed that he LOVES taking care of me. Truth be told... I LOVE taking care of him, too. :hug:

And Doug... you LOVE taking care of your sweet Sandy just the way she LOVES taking care of you. :)

You are not a burden. Make sure she knows that she's not a burden either.
 
What a beautiful post, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I often feel like a burden when i'm ill....I feel like I should cope better than I do, but my husband is always so great about it.
 

brieyourbest

Cimzia Forum Monitor
:)

Thank you so much for posting this. I am literally crying right now because I seriously feel like a burden to my family.

Well I was going to put this in the "If you could offer ONE piece of advice to a Crohn's sufferer" thread but I don't think it fits there (((shrug))).

If you are fortunate enough, and I only say that 'cause I know some of you on here aren't supported by your family :(, to have loved ones that care about you please know that you are not a burden to us. We do what we do for you because we love you more than life itself.

We understand your struggles and are there with you.

We wish we could take the pain away and when we can't we are there to hold your hand, cuddle and soothe you.

We are there to cry with you and for you.

We are there to clean up after you.

We are there when you have to endure difficult diets.

We are there when you are admitted for long and frightening hospital stays.

We are there to support and advocate for you when you go to see your doctors and have tests.

We are there to remind you to take your tablets. :)

We are there to listen when this bloody disease is too much to bear.

We are there to fight for you when all hope is gone.

We wish more than anything in the world that you didn't have this disease.

We rejoice with you when you are in remission and times are good.

.............................. and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Dusty.
 

Cross-stitch gal

Moderator
Staff member
Location
Vancouver,
How sweet:) Many of you have said it true. Those of who have spouses, friends or family to stick with us are extremly blessed! This has become a special place to be apart of! Thank you:)
Lisa
 
AMAZING! Thanks, this had been my personal struggle. I usually do it all and am a strong woman. lately I have felt like a burden. I am in tears, that was awesome.
 
Wow. Very nicely stated :) This helps me a lot because I often feel like a burden when nobody understands what I have to deal with. This forum has helped me tremendously.:soledance:
 
I couldnt have read this at a better time! I know I can be a bummer to my husband- some nights we have had to cancel plans- my lack of being able to cook with pepper can be a drag- but, right now as these cramps work their "magic" on me and I know whats to come I really dont care! I dont do this to upset him or disapoint him. I try and hang tough- I spent 8 days in the hospital gagging and barfing my way though golytley (sp?) and barium- bleeding, cramping a new IV site everyday! Ugh. I went back to work the day after I got out of the hospital because we need the $$$. So tonight I will take care of myself and stay out of his way and NOT CARE he got pissy I didnt want to go to church with him in the morning! My nights already a little rough and I have to go to work in the morning!!

Thank you for allowing me to vent!

As you know this can be a lonley disease!
 
Thank you for writing this. My sister is constantly telling me the same thing, however i thought "shes my sister, she has to say this to me", but now that someone else has said it, im starting to think she means it. so thank you, this brought me to tears, mainly because of the relief i felt from it. xx
 

DustyKat

Super Moderator
Hey ruthyp...:hug:

I am so glad you found comfort in this. I reckon if your sister is telling you these things then she loves you dearly and truly means every word of it. :)

Dusty. :heart:
 
Gosh I can't tell you how much this thread helped me. I just joined the website, and I can't wait to learn more, support you all, and share my own story! thank you all for the love.
 
feel like im ruining my marriage by being sick

Hi my name is Kendra, ive been dealing with Chrohns since the age of 17, im 37 now. Had scar tissue removed, part of my Colon removed, & lots of Polyps.I went into remission for about 3 yrs, but all the stress of going thru a Divorce has brought it back full force. black & yellow watery stools, sry to be so blunt. I fell out of bed the other night trying to get to the bathroom, my husband picked me up off the floor ...i messed myself & God was I embarrassed. I dnt think he can handle being with me because i`m sick. I have no ins cant get disability & we are in debt a LOT. Just wish i could get some help of some kind to pay for some of my Dr. bills. If we Divorce he wants me to pay him back...isnt that some sh*** :cry:hi I just read what you wrote & thank you. I cant believe there are so many people who are willing to listen, & offer advice
 
you have made me feel so much better, i may not know you, also i have no personal friends, just alone with my thoughts, but now i feel like I have a family. Thank you for that.
 
Although our life situations are not the same, we are in effectively similar circumstances. Feeling and being alone when you are sick and not having emotional and financial security is horrible. However, whenever life brings me down paths that seem dark and unpredictable, I always end up meeting people who serve as "guardian angels" in some way, and that is occurring now for me. They show up in the most unusual places sometimes, and under the most unusual circumstances. I do pray a lot and ask for help from the "great beyond". I am also good at asking for help from available resources. But much of my strength to do this comes from a higher source, I know. Being forced to advocate for yourself when you are riddled with pain, fear and uncertainty is one of the hardest things to do, but I have had to do it many times in my life, and now CD has put me on the same path again. I can tell you that its the people we know who will listen with their hearts and give us the time and patience that we need who are really our friends. Sometimes strangers can be kinder and more caring than the people we would like to think are our true friends, but who aren't. It is times like these that are opportune to weed out the people in my immediate circles who act like they care, vs. those who really do. When a person is helpless, needy and somewhat dependent, as those of us with IBD sometimes are, the "rats" will always abandon ship, and the ones who are "true blue" will remain. Regardless, though, of how other people treat me, I have to take 100% responsibility for myself without being too hard on myself. I am only responsible for the effort, not the outcome. Blessings and you are all in my prayers.
 
Dusty,
That is absolutely gorgous and you have brought tears to my eyes and brightened my day. I will copy what you wrote and read it when and feel low.
Sullivan777
 
What lovely poems...it's nice to get the reassurance! And so rare to have such nice lines relate to struggles people with CD experience!!!

Thanks for sharing!
 
This is exactly how I have felt since my last admittance to the hospital about a week ago...helpless, worthless, useless. My family, friends, and fiance are all great supports and give lots of love, but sometimes its hard not to feel completely alone. This makes me feel much better about whether or not I'm a huge burden on my family and especially my fiance. <3
 
Glad i read this. I just got done telling my husband tonight he isnt a burden. Then i saw this, had to hold back tears reading it to him. i wish he would come on here to see others are going thru the same thing
 
Dusty Kat

I'm relatively new to this forum and I have been looking for something like this for a while. I have a great, supportive family. Unfortunately they are 900 miles away! I was lucky to be back home with them when I got really sick and had to have surgery!

No I'm back on my own and away from my family. It can be really hard and depressing being on my own and dealing with this. Reading your post brought a tear to my eye, but it made me feel good too. I'm so happy to have found this forum and I just wanted to thank you for that wonderful post! :D
 
I haven't cried for a very long time.. But this has just made me cry my eyes out like a baby aha... My family are amazing, I only got diagnosed last week officially and they have been so strong for me, I know it's early days..

It's a shame not all 'friends' are the same
 

DustyKat

Super Moderator
Oh my fromthegut...:hug:...I am so sorry to hear that. How awful for you. :(

You are in my thoughts,
Dusty. xxx
 

Crohn's Mom

Moderator
just a friendly little bump for some "newbies" :)

This is so nice, and such a great support to let everyone here know they are not alone!

:rosette2:
 
I love my guy more than anything in the world. He was diagnosed when he was young and it has been a constant burden on him. When he first told me, I was more sad than anything that I wasn't there for him from the beginning of the pain and suffering he has been through. It never occurred to me not to love him, support him, fight for him and be there for him forever. He is my soul mate, my best friend and the greatest love of my love. I will be there for him for everything with patience, understanding and nothing but pure love. I wrote this because I felt sad that others felt that they were a burden. It never occurred to me that he would ever be a burden. I love him with all of my heart, soul, mind and body until the day I die. So don't give up.
 

DustyKat

Super Moderator
You are a very special lady girl77. :hug: You have a depth of warmth and compassion that is a joy to behold. :) Thank you so much for posting your thoughts and feelings.

I wish you both love, luck, laughter and well being!

Dusty. xxx
 
On some level I worry each time I ask a new question if anybody's going to start catching on and go 'him again?'

All fixed. :p
 
Location
Finland
Just read this and I know Dusty has written this as a mom of children with crohns. I am sure my mom would agree with you 100%.

But from the "We are there to clean up after you" comes to mind when I was a child and still at home and had pains and was sick with strictures. I would puke all night sometimes and refuse to go to the ER. But every time I was sick and felt like I would puke my mom would go and clean the toilet for me first so that I didnt have to puke into a dirty toilet. :heart:
 
I am wondering how you are dealing with your job and having these issues. I work for a huge telecommincations company that employes thousands. I am considered an FMLA issue, an though they can't fire me because of my Crohns issues, they are constantly monitoring me, pulling me in for meetings about my calls, and generally making a bad situation worse. The stress of this is taking its toll on me. I have had 10 surgeries in 3 years and missed a lot of work. I understand the company wanting me out, I would too. When do the doctors decide its time for long term disabilty? If I get fired, for whatever reason they decide, I will lose my insurance benefits. Stress, stress, stress...How do you cope with this??
 
This actually has me i tears. Its so lovely and true. It just makes me realise how lucky i am to have my mum and dad ti help me through this
 
This is the first time in my life that I am going to be honest about the fact that my life revolves around bathrooms. I always did everything I could to hide who I was.

But in the last year, I missed two family funerals and I want to tell my family why I cannot do so many things.

I think this board will be a source of support at this time.
 
This is the first time in my life that I am going to be honest about the fact that my life revolves around bathrooms. I always did everything I could to hide who I was.

But in the last year, I missed two family funerals and I want to tell my family why I cannot do so many things.

I think this board will be a source of support at this time.
If you tell your family don't you think they'd be understanding and be helpful?
 

723crossroads

Banned
Location
USA
You never were a burden love~
at least not to me,
You were always there to lend a hand even when I pee'd.
You give of yourself with everything, even when you we're tired. You never stopped to think of you, even when you were wired!
You bathed me when I couldn't bend, you trimmed my nails so neatly. You asked me if there was anything else and you did it oh so sweetly. You brought me dinner when I was hungry and took my plate when I felt done. You even ran the dishwasher and that you'd never done! You washed all the laundry and put it away and even made the bed. You shopped for all the groceries even when you must've felt dread!
You gave it all for months on end and never left my side. Because of that and so much more~~~~
You'll always be my Bride!
Written for my husband when I had kidney cancer removed , he was my bride then. You know what I mean, all of you! He did it all and I will forever love and respect him and be there no matter what!
 

valleysangel92

Moderator
Staff member
Thankyou for such a lovely post :) .. I often feel like a bit of a burden, especially to my boyfriend, we got together just before I started getting really sick, we've only been together 7 months and in that time I've been admitted to hospital 5 times and have hardly left the house, he always comes to my house so I don't have to go out, listens for hours to my rants, and endlessly reassures me, im now awaiting surgery and sometimes feel bad about how we're so young and have so much ahead of us, I think to myself -why would he want to be stuck with me? - but he tells me he knew what he was getting into (I had my MRI 2 days before we became official and we were best friends then) and that it only hurts him because he wishes he could take the pain away, and says he wouldnt walk away even if i yelled at the top if my voice that i wanted him to.. I feel incredibly lucky to have him and not to mention a very loving and supportive family :)
 

723crossroads

Banned
Location
USA
Dear valleysangel92,
You have a wonderful and supporting man and I would say he loves you so deeply and seriously, he sounds like he is there for the duration. So don't ruin the moment by thinking you are a burden. Enjoy the great times and remember them when they aren't so great. They will get you thru. Don't feel guilty either, because you did not ask for this illness. You would definately do the same for him. Just love him and thank him and appreciate how blessed you are!!!:heart::heart::heart:
 
Thanks Dusty-I was just laying here thinking that I "have " to somehow will myself to be better. I threw up for 7 hours yesterday while my kids bitched at me saying no one wants to deal with this or me anyone. Let me say, this has made me so stressed out that I'm convinced I can't let anyone see me sick. I know I'm a burned. I'm told as much.
 

723crossroads

Banned
Location
USA
I'm so sorry Laura, noone should be treated that way, let alone by their own children. I am remembering you in prayers and my heart, I apologize for them because you deserve so much more and you are a very worthy woman and quite beautiful too. Hang in there hun! We are with you!:ghug:
 
Thank you Dusty for that amazing post! Can't tell you how offen my girlfriend says to me that she's so afraid of being a burden. That no ones life should have to change as drastic as she thinks it will. I just reinsure her that my love for her is forever, and I'm not scared of any of it, I'll will be by her side no matter that cost. I do tell her my only fear is that I could lose her to this disease, so all we can do is life to the fullest, and never to worry about being alone. She will forever have me right by her side. Thank you again for those Encouraging words! Can't wait for her to read it. God bless
 

DustyKat

Super Moderator
I have no doubt that your girlfriend is a wonderful woman :) and she is one very lucky lady to have you Skiwee.

Dusty. xxx
 
Location
Alberta
Thanks Dusty Cat for the uplifting words.
I don't know if I am a burden to anyone, maybe just my self as today I am quite tired of living. Kind of wish I could be free, away from me as me is not wanting to exist.
 
I am glad this thread is out there. I have had Crohn's for 13 years. Recently we found out my Crohn's has spread and is worse than it has been in years. I usually play down my symptoms to my loved ones. Lately, I feel pretty bad most of the time. When I do talk to my parents about it, they say they are sorry, but it seems like they do not understand the full turmoil I am experiencing. It is like they have heard this all before. A lot of people do not know the right things to say when you are feeling bad, but sometimes I wish they could be a little more understanding that when I say I am in some pain and not feeling well I actually am hurting and feel terrible. I know they have been dealing with my side effects for many years, but they didn't stop when I moved out. It has left me feeling a lone during this hard time.
 
Hey! i'm new on this forum but it didn't take me long to feel more welcome on here than in my own home. I not only feel like a burden, i am a burden and my family avoids me all the time. I am so happy to have found a place where i can go and feel not only welcome but understood :)
 
If only I didn't think of myself as a burden. I've been dating my girlfriend officially for almost two months. And after the first month I went into a flare. She has been through everything with me through it. Even went when I needed to take a blood test. I hate having her worry. I hate it. I feel as though she deserves better than to be with a sick guy all the time. She cooks for me (when I could eat. Can't eat much anymore) worry about me. Even her family has taken me in almost like a son. I just feel guilty for putting them all through all of this. But she's been amazing the whole time.
 

DustyKat

Super Moderator
:ghug:

I understand what you are saying and can only say this to you…

I do not have Crohn’s and often think and feel that I know I will never truly understand what you are going through. That I will never fully appreciate the pain, the frustration, the fear and the heartache. Short of having this disease myself how can I?

BUT I can speak for those of us that are the loved ones of those with IBD. I know you wonder why we stick around and what the hell we see in you. :eek2: :lol: And it is because we don’t see what you see. We see the whole you not just the Crohn’s. Yes, Crohn’s is part of you are but it isn’t who you are, you are so much more than that. If your girlfriends family has already taken you in as one of their own then that tells me you are pretty damned remarkable human being.

Don’t feel guilty mate, if they didn’t want to be there they wouldn’t and never underestimate what you bring to the relationship. :)

Dusty. xxx
 
Thanks man. The fraternity president just really pissed me off when he texted me. He should know me better. He should know that if I'm not going to class I have a darn good reason and I'm doing everything I can.
 
Tears in my eyes and on my cheeks...
What a wonderful post Dusty, thank you so much for it! :kiss:

Last year I was diagnosed with crohn's, have been very ill for 2 months, and all this time my family and friends stood by me. They came to the hospital to keep me company, helped me take care of my animals, made sure I didn't feel alone, took me with them to any party and drove me back home when I was tired...

But eventually I recovered and life did go on, until beginning of December when the problems of having awful pains after eating started. After a lot of scans, blood test and scoping's that didn't show why I was hurting I started questioning my own sanity, but my friends and family never doubted me... Still lying on the couch, unable to do anything, but finally found the cause of the pain yesterday and probably I will need an operation.

And once again , since the first day I got sick this time, my phone rings every hour with people asking me what they can do for me... My brother and parents make sure I never have to go to the hospital alone... The stables of my horses are getting cleaned every day... They all make sure I never feel alone....
And during all that time I am feeling very, very guilty that they have to do this for me. I love these people so much, and feel like the luckiest girl in the world because they are my family and friends!
How can I ever thank them for what they are doing for me...?
 

DustyKat

Super Moderator
Just do what I imagine you are already doing lente, tell them you love them and thank them for being there. The spoken words of love and appreciation are payment a thousand times over.

They love you and want to be there for you lente, it isn’t something as a loved one that we consciously think about, it isn’t a decision we have to make because there is only one choice to make…to be there with you and for you. We know that should the tables ever be turned you would do the very same thing. :)

Please don’t feel guilty hun as you have nothing to feel guilty about. You didn’t choose Crohn’s lente, it chose you.

Dusty. xxx
 
Top