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You couldn't make it up....

So today we took the kids to a theme park.

After a modest lunch of a piece of solitary chicken for me and delicious looking hot dogs with onions and stupid amounts of sauce for the rest of the family we decided to check out the maze!

Typical then, that just when myself and youngest are totally lost (not stressed - having a total giggle), my bowels decided to take offence at the chicken... I mean... how many of you have had an attack of the squits while in a friggin maze???

First came the cramps, and by the time hubby and eldest son found me I was in that well known state of immobility wrapped around a rubbish bin. I felt sure that if I didn't move a muscle and didn't let go then surely everything would be ok.

Hubby had to practically carry me out of the maze to the disabled loo (thank god he has a sense of direction)... and guess what??? Bowels went shy! After the cramps, and the twitching bum hole it was a false alarm.

Except it wasn't. My bowels are evil b&stards... no, they waited until after I had sat for 20 mins to recover (just to be on the safe side), then taken a walk to the furthest point in the park from the toilets.... then they abandoned all sense of decency...

It's all crap.... I am never going in a maze again.

Lishyloo
 

farm

Captain Insaneo
OMG that is funny! Probably not to you, but I've had similar times (never in a maze before)!!
 
Santos61198 said:
Poor Lishy!!

I'm not going to lie...... 1/2 of me was laughing, but the other 1/2 was fighting and saying awwwwwwwe and was sad for you! :(
Me too! I can't help it. I lose composure when it comes to poop stories. Poor Lishy. :( :ylol2:
 
I have to say I felt the same way Santos did when I read this. I guess its because it brings many occasions to my mind that were those horrible moments with bad timing. Even though it never happened in a maze to me, I can remember many other places that it did happen...one bad moment was out on a boat with no bathroom with some friends....
 
I had a similar experience in high school. I had a false alarm then when I was at the furthest spot from a bathroom my bowels let go and I was able to go home the rest of the day.
 
When I was bad everything went through me without discrimination. Only once the inflammation in my colon was calmed down could I tolerate anything being in there.
Elemental diet was my friend.
 
Ummm, I just wrote about this happening to me in a maze on the public accidents thread. No lie. It wasn’t funny to me at all though. It was sad and embarrassing and it made me decide to never go to a maze again. I guess it's still not easy for me to have a sense of humor about this stuff all of the time, especially when it seems to make the list of things that I feel comfortable doing get smaller and smaller.
 

forum contributor

Captain Obvious
Jer's Girl said:
Ummm, I just wrote about this happening to me in a maze on the public accidents thread. No lie. It wasn’t funny to me at all though. It was sad and embarrassing and it made me decide to never go to a maze again. I guess it's still not easy for me to have a sense of humor about this stuff all of the time, especially when it seems to make the list of things that I feel comfortable doing get smaller and smaller.
I don't blame you, JG. It's taken a loooong time for some of us to even get comfortable enough to share our stories with other people, nevermind laughing at ourselves after the fact!

Please don't read this as us poking fun at anyone. We just know what everyone's going through as far as this is concerned.... and laughing sometimes takes the pressure off and makes things a little easier to bear!

No offense intended. I've had a few accidents. I force myself to laugh and keep moving... otherwise I would be even more depressed than I am already.
 
I once got caught out on Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland paris - managed to keep it together till end of ride then rushed to loos, but horror loos were just little cubicles open top and bottom - so everyone can hear everything, also didnt have any matches to cover my tracks, being British I find it totally humilating leaving cubicle knowing everyone knows what you have been doing in there, in fact I think that the British are the most uptight in this regard!
 
Ha ha! I am laughing today!.. And someone else has had the squits in a maze - I am not alone!

Thanks all - it helps to giggle....

Brings new meaning to "Leaving a trail so you can find your way back out again"...

Lishyloo
 

forum contributor

Captain Obvious
Lishyloo said:
Ha ha! I am laughing today!.. And someone else has had the squits in a maze - I am not alone!

Thanks all - it helps to giggle....

Brings new meaning to "Leaving a trail so you can find your way back out again"...

Lishyloo

Thanks Lish - you owe me a new screen b/c I just spit all over mine!!!!!!!! :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:
 
Perdita... I have been scarred for life by the memories of french toilets... I just don't go to France any more.
I also have a theory that crohnies' bumholes possess some kind of rudimentary intelligence and time their openings and closings to devastating effect!
Anyway... I'm British and I totally revel in my uptightness. If a feeling's worth having, it's worth repressing and stashing away!
 
Santos- I know I sounded that way, but I wasn’t offended at all! I was just saying how it felt for me. I think it’s great that we can laugh about these things, especially here where we are all going through it. I think with this one the wound was still just a little too fresh for me.

My best friend looooves gross stuff, so when I want to look on the funny side, I am grateful to have her to talk to. Like the time I had an anal abscess drained and when I had to pull out the gauze, it just kept going and going! I can’t believe how much they packed in there. It was so gross, but kind of cool in a way and it was great to have someone that I could tell about it, because it wasn’t quite the type of thing that you bring up at a dinner party or something.

It’s nice to have you all to laugh with too now. 
 
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