Anxiety/Panic Attacks

many years ago, i lived in what i call now a 'bubble of fear' for well over a year... at that time i didn't know what was wrong with me. well, i thought i knew - i had to have a brain tumour. it was the only diagnosis that made any sense.

i was constantly dizzy/feeling faint - i couldn't walk round the house without holding onto something, i had night-blindness, yet if the light was too bright it caused immediate pain in my forehead. i trembled constantly, even in bed.. i could feel my body vibrating, i could feel every pulse point in my body banging away fast.. if i went out, went shopping, it was a mammoth task, which very often ended in me leaving a full shopping trolley and running out of the store. i felt the ground was coming up to meet me. my hands were cold & sweaty, my head was hot, my ears buzzed.

sometimes i would get spasms in my hands and feet that felt like slight paralysis. any loud or sudden noise would scare the hell out of me.

but by far the worst feeling was that i was going to pass out, all the time, at any time.

you probably know where this is going... i did not have a brain tumour - i had acute anxiety and panic attacks. but believing that was another story. i eventually ended up seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist, who came to my home every week for months.

at the beginning, as i told him how i felt, he'd nod understandingly, and always told me the same thing - it is anxiety. i got so angry because i was convinced that 'mere' emotions couldn't possibly be responsible for me feeling so very ill. because we reached this stalemate, he sent me to a neurologist for testing.... after a short talk with the neurologist and some simple tests, he told me - you have anxiety disorder.

i had to believe him - he was an expert in the field after all - if anyone knew the signs of a brain tumour it would be him. so, guiltily i admitted to my CB therapist that i was ready to believe in him and work with him to getting myself better.

it took a long time. it took guts and stamina and determination. it took tears and despair each time i had a set back. but i got there.

the reason i am writing this now, the reason for this thread, is that so many times since then i have spoken to people who are going through similar symptoms, and either cannot believe they are suffering from anxiety, or know they have it but can't master it. only today i spent half an hour on msn with a friend who is getting more and more housebound because of this condition. also my mother is suffering from it too - and her fear that there is something seriously wrong with her, is feeding the anxiety and making things 10 times worse.

this is a horrible illness... and it IS an illness. it is not something we can just put on a back burner while we attend a party, or 'pull our socks up' and just get on with things. it can be anything from mild to crippling, and with conditions such as Crohn's Disease and UC, it is not surprising that many of us here will have suffered with anxiety symptoms at one time or another.

therefore, i thought it would be a good idea to put down all our experiences of this condition, to inspire hope to those who are going through it, to give advice and tips on how we manage it, and to maybe reassure others out there who think they have a serious physical illness, like i used to think.....

Wow Ding, this is powerful! I have known you for 2.5 years and this is the first time you have "come out" so to speak. It explains why you are not able to fly. You are right this is a disease on it's own. My daughter is taking psychology and will take abnormal psychology, this could be something they are looking into how to manage it. Her psych prof has UC and anxiety issues and my daughter and her converse quite often. So I can get more information this semester from her. What ever I can do to help I will be there for you and anyone.

Trauma is one of a major factor from what I do know. Thanks for posting this, it helps people to analyse their problems and not look for the "brain Tumors" which is a scary thought.

I know why now you are so compassionate. You are an angel! :hug:

I do not suffer with this myself but it is so important to get the experiences and knowledge out there. It is true that many people have difficulty coming to to terms with being diagnosed with Anxiety or Panic Attacks.

I guess with the diagnosis of a mental illness comes the double edged sword of not only having to come to terms with it yourself but there is the added burden of societies prejudice through ignorance. Most, if not all of you, already suffer with this due to the fact that IBD is also an unseen disease, we can't see it from the outside, added to this is that the name Anxiety and IBD don't conjure up the awareness and empathy that other unseen diseases do.

Thanks for posting this Ding and I hope it allows others to feel they are not alone and perhaps even feel safe in writing of their own experiences.

Kudos to you!
Dusty

Thank you for the thread Ding. I'm still in possible denial about having panic attacks. I've seen my GP about it a few times and even had counseling for a year with a therapist and saw a psychiatrist for the same amount of time. Problem is that my insurance no longer covers visits to a therapist (I believe they still cover seeing a psychiatrist but most if not all, like you to get regular counseling while be treated with drugs).

My symptoms that I've experienced:
-feeling faint (I've never actually fainted)
-sweaty palms
-feeling hot or flush in chest and face
-things looking different, not 3D, like a dream like state
-smelling something, I can't pin point the smell but only happens right before I'm sure I'll pass out (never have passed out)
-tingling sensations in: my head, neck, hands, arms, legs, feet, back, tongue and nose
-numbness in parts of arms, legs, tongue, head and nose
-pressure around my skull, mainly on the sides
-pressure in the back of my head making me feel like I'm being pushed forward
-changes in breathing (starts quickly and I have to try and control it)
-heart starts racing
-my head spins
-floor visibly moves towards me at random times
-heart palpitations
-right after symptoms start, I get scared that I'm going to pass out or have a heart attack and die

I was told that when one starts I need to try and do something to occupy my mind instead of the symptoms like look through your purse or use something like a worry stone, key chain, necklace and focus on rubbing the material (like a form of meditation). The hardest thing is staying put and holding your ground. My therapist called it "fight or flight" where you feel a sudden urge to flee the situation no matter where you are. I've left stores, my place in lines and even my own shower before. Forcing yourself to go through it is very hard. Chanting can help such as reminding yourself that you've never passed out before and that you'll be fine. Slowing down your breathing helps but you cannot take deep breaths cause you may cause yourself to hyperventilate and pass out. I haven't done this yet cause I feel too embarrassed but I was told that using a paper bag may actually help because increased carbon dioxide may actually help calm you down. We see it in movies all the time but there is science behind it that makes sense.

These feeling are the reason why I'm really pushing for a GP around where I just moved to and why I'm frustrated about having to wait to see a doctor. I'm not sure that these are panic attacks cause everyone keeps telling me that I just need to calm down and quit worrying but these things happen to me where I'm comfortable and feeling perfectly fine and not thinking about anything. I don't cause these things to happen, they come out of the blue. I feel the symptoms a little bit now after typing all this but usually I don't work myself up. I'm afraid to start going back to work cause I fear that I'll be too afraid to step foot into the building or afraid that I'll pass out and not be taken care of. These thoughts don't really make sense cause I'm at home all day and no one would know for hours if something happened to me.

Right now I do fear leaving the house and I live near downtown where I really wanted to move to. Right now, it is controlling my life and I want whatever it is to stop. If its panic attacks, I can accept that, the main thing is that I want all of this to go away. It would be nice to do it without drugs but I'm not a holistic medicine type of person. I prefer methods with actual science backing their effectiveness.

I don't know if this is related but since we moved, I can't fall asleep for a while cause I feel like things are crawling on my feet and I'm very afraid at night and I've had many nightmares with interrupted sleep (more that usual). I do have insomnia but its increased and the constant fear at night and crawling sensations on my feet are new. I'm also afraid sometimes during the day since my bf is at work and I'm alone. The fear is of a presence (I was afraid to type that out cause I thought that maybe something would materialize behind me). WTF is wrong with me? I know I'm stronger than this.

Edit: after reading this and editing basic mistakes, I almost started crying because that last sentence about me being stronger than this is so true and I hate the fact that my life is out of my control. Even while I was reading this I was unconsciously rubbing my hands together and I noticed that when I am having a panic attack, I move my limbs a lot and rake my hands through my hair without thinking.

Pen, Dusty - thank you. so much of what you both say rings true... my fear of flying is the one legacy of anxiety that i cannot get over, and i decided years ago that i'm just not going to put myself in that position ever again. having made that decision, i felt a whole lot better. also, the issue of it being an invisible illness, and one which takes a lot of understanding to reach compassion. i know it must be hard for someone who's never lived through anxiety disorders, whether themselves or someone they're close to, to really understand the restrictions it brings, the feeling of being out of control of your own body, the guilt, the anger. if you can't see it - it's not that bad, right? wrong! just look at us Crohnies who 'look' fine - nobody knows what we go through, and because most of us are fighters, we put on a brave face.

so hopefully, this kind of open & honest discussion may not only help sufferers, but also those who know someone who's suffering.

Crabby - your symptoms sound exactly like anxiety & panic... i forgot about one of the symptoms you mentioned - that feeling of pressure on the sides of your head - i used to get this too.

for you, and for anyone else who wants to try and get control back over anxiety and panic attacks, i'm going to list the methods i used, most of which were taught to me by my CB therapist...

the first and biggest step is believing it is anxiety. while you've got other thoughts of 'what's wrong with me - i'm ill" etc going on in the back of your mind, you're not yet ready to accept what is happening with your body, and how to undo it...

relaxation is a massive tool in overcoming anxiety/panic. this was my method - i was given a cassette tape by my CB therapist, which contained him talking in a slow, soothing voice, taking me through various steps of physical relaxation - i put aside 30 minutes every day, early evening, and warned my family i needed to not be disturbed in that time. i shut myself in the bedroom, lay down on my back, on the bed, and clicked the tape on...

the first part of the tape, he was saying things like, wriggle your toes, then let them flop, let your feet feel really heavy as if they're trying to sink through the mattress.. think about your calf muscles, do the same, make them heavy.... and so on and so on until i'd relaxed everything from my toes to the top of my head.... then followed a few minutes of silence on the tape where i just drifted, breathed from my stomach slowly, and enjoyed being totally still and calm...

the next bit he talked about the fight or flight reaction, again in a slow soothing voice, reiterating what i'd already read about this... how the adrenalin makes various things happen in our bodies, how it's a chain reaction, one thing leads to another - the more this physical chain of events sinks into our minds, the more we believe it, and it becomes easier to understand what is happening at any given time, whether it's the sweaty palms or the dizzyness - that understanding in itself is a part of the healing process.

then he went onto what i called the mantra part.. short sentences which i was instructed to remember and use whenever i felt a panic attack coming on.. like "this is anxiety, i've had it before, it didn't hurt me. i'm not going to faint. i'm not going to die. it will pass and i'll be fine".. that kind of thing.

the last part of the tape was very soothing sounds and music.. at this point i would imagine i was walking by a river on a sunny day, listening to the trickle of the water, the birds singing, feeling the sun on my skin.... and i stayed there imagining all this for a good ten minutes.

by that point, i was totally relaxed, i was smiling, i was reassured - and if you do this technique every day, you can actually learn to bring back that feeling at will, whenever you feel anxious, whenever you feel a panic attack coming on. that's why i say it's the most powerful tool... it's something you can actually do to regain control whenever you need it.

you can make your own tapes - i did after a while, using your own voice, with messages that relate to you personally, music that you know calms you - or you can actually buy relaxation sound tapes.

This is an important forum. Anxiety is especially prevalent in chronic illness. There's unpredictability, sudden (often unexpected) change, added problem-solving (okay, if I go to the concert, will I be able to find an aisle seat with easy bathroom access?), etc., and all of these factors can contribute to anxiety.

My own form of anxiety response is derealization. When I go through a large change, I will have regular short moments where things don't feel real or where it feels like I'm not sure if I am in my "real" life or in a dream. I'll be, say, typing at the computer and then all of a sudden things will feel like "whoosh -- where am I? What am I doing?" I try to really focus on the present when that happens, and sometimes I'll go for a short walk. Exercise is the natural end to fight or flight (you're either running away from that sabre tooth tiger or fighting it for your life), and by extension, it works well for mild anxiety reactions, too. I started having this reaction (derealization) again about a week ago, and it's been happening about once/day. I've lost a job, am about to start an 8 month contract, have Crohn's now, and here comes this response again. The last time I had it was when I moved to a new home.

(Oh, and Ding: You don't fly...and I refuse to drive in a city! I won't do it! Even a large town is too much for me.)

keep a diary.. every day, write about the bad points and good points in your day, including any anxiety experiences, what you were doing when it happened, what you felt, how long it lasted, and what made it go away.

give yourself tiny little goals to reach.. like at first say "today i am going to walk downstairs without holding the handrail", & write in your diary your achievements. day by day, have a new goal to reach, one which you really think you can do... then increase the challenge, "today i'm going to walk along the pavement past 3 houses then turn back and come home" etc etc.. each milestone will give you confidence.

in your diary, also write things like "i know i can't really be that ill because....." and put any reason you can think of, whether it's "i felt really well for a whole hour today", or "i thought i was going to faint, but didn't".. anything that reiterates to you that this is anxiety and nothing more.

if you have anything that you feel safe having with you, such as a paper bag (for hyperventilating), or a bottle of Rescue Remedy, or a packet of sweets to chew and concentrate on when panic comes on... make sure you always have this thing handy - it's a safety net. some therapists are completely against having safety nets like this - but it worked for me, and my opinion is, if it helps it's good. cold water helps too... carry a little bottle with you, and if you feel panicky/anxious, take little sips.. you can also use it to alleviate the hot flush symptoms, by putting a little water on your fingers and then onto the back of your neck, and your forehead. anything which stops the chain of events in it's tracks is good.... it means you're getting control back.

Kelly said:

This is an important forum. Anxiety is especially prevalent in chronic illness. There's unpredictability, sudden (often unexpected) change, added problem-solving (okay, if I go to the concert, will I be able to find an aisle seat with easy bathroom access?), etc., and all of these factors can contribute to anxiety.

My own form of anxiety response is derealization. When I go through a large change, I will have regular short moments where things don't feel real or where it feels like I'm not sure if I am in my "real" life or in a dream. I'll be, say, typing at the computer and then all of a sudden things will feel like "whoosh -- where am I? What am I doing?" I try to really focus on the present when that happens, and sometimes I'll go for a short walk. Exercise is the natural end to fight or flight (you're either running away from that sabre tooth tiger or fighting it for your life), and by extension, it works well for mild anxiety reactions, too. I started having this reaction (derealization) again about a week ago, and it's been happening about once/day. I've lost a job, am about to start an 8 month contract, have Crohn's now, and here comes this response again. The last time I had it was when I moved to a new home.

(Oh, and Ding: You don't fly...and I refuse to drive in a city! I won't do it! Even a large town is too much for me.)

Click to expand...

hi Kelly - i haven't had that particular symptom, but i can understand why it could happen.... it sounds like your mind is too overloaded with worries to keep focused on what you're doing and where you are.

maybe you could try this method - see if it helps... it's something i did at the time and it made a lot of things clearer for me...

i drew two columns, one headed "things i can do something about" and the other "things that are out of my control"...

in the first one, i wrote down worries that i knew i could address if i had the right attitude and strength to do so, and in the other i wrote things that no matter what i thought or wanted, they were actually out of my hands. when the 2nd list was complete, i put a big cross through that side of the paper, because there was no point in me carrying those worries when there was nothing i could do about them... they would just have to go their own way. and then i concentrated on the other list, and bit by bit, over the months, i ticked each one off as i addressed or sorted them.

That's a great idea, Ding, and thanks.

Hey Crabby...have you heard of restless leg syndrome? The feeling of something crawling on your legs reminded me a lot of it. It mentions it is often associated with certian auto-immune disease, so it would't surprise me if it had something to do with that.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Restless_legs_syndrome

My mom experienced this for years along with chronic leg cramps (charlie horses) and since getting older started taking magnesium supplements that seemed to help a lot. Just this past week it's gotten worse and she's looking into getting her vericose veins treated because her legs actually swelled up keeping her from walking properly (another side effect from magnesium is water retention, so consult a doc to determine the amount if you plan on taking any).

Anyway...all that to say perhaps it could be one of the things I mentioned. Could at least be something to look into

As far as suffering form anxiety. I had never experienced anxiety-related feelings until after being diagnosed. It took several months for me to get rid of the heavy feeling in my chest I would often get without even moving. I could be sitting on the couch and I'd get the feeling and I'd have to purposefully relax and slow my breathing. I mentioned it to my GP and he said it was anxiety. I love my doc, but my immediate reaction was "Yeah, of course it's anxiety. I bet that's what all the docs say!" Haha. But I noticed it would come on whenever I was thinking about something stressful (ie diagnosis, starting new medications, moving, deciding what to do about school, being homebound, etc. etc!) I'm in a more stable time in my life and I realized after reading this post I can't remember the last time I had those feelings of anxiety.

I can't imagine what it would feel like to experience some of those other feelings on top of what I have had in the past. There definitely is something to experiencing physiological problems when our stress and anxiety isn't dealt with properly. Add a chronic illness that constantly changes from day to day and there's no wonder so many of us experience these anxiety problems. Ding has some good ideas. I like to write in a journal too to release the negativities that sometimes get trapped in my head

i found this very informative article - it highlights exactly what happens to us during panic attacks/anxiety, and why it happens... http://www.panicla.com/pages/wi_anx.html

The cardiovascular activation by the sympathetic nervous system produces an increase in heart rate and strength of the heartbeat. This is crucial in preparation for fight or flight because it pumps blood more rapidly to the needed areas of the body. The vital areas blood is immediately sent to are, the thighs, biceps and other muscles, which assist in preparing for action. Blood is taken away from areas like the fingers and toes because if the organism is gravely injured, it is less likely to bleed to death. This is the reason why individuals experiencing a panic attack often report having cold, clammy hands and tingling sensations in their feet and toes.

The respiratory effect produced by the sympathetic nervous system also has a pertinent function. The deep, accelerated breathing helps in the preparation for fight or flight by getting the tissues of the human body more needed oxygen. The side effects of this action are of course, choking sensations, smothering, tightness in the chest and most importantly, because the blood to the head is decreased by heavy breathing, feelings of dizziness or lightheadedness. It can also cause what was described earlier as a sense of derealization –a feeling of unreality and confusion.

The fight or flight response mechanism also produces a much needed increase in sweating so that the body does not over heat while in action. Another adaptive function an increase in sweat provides is that it helps make the skin more slippery and harder to grab if caught by a predator.

The mental system is also effected by the activation of the fight or flight response mechanism. The chief function is of course to reliably alert the organism to a threat or danger in the area. The mind immediately shifts attention and focuses on its immediate surroundings for danger. Because of this effect, individuals experiencing a panic attack often relate that during an attack, they have difficulty with their memory, they have trouble concentrating and are distracted from chores and responsibilities. Subsequently, what typically happens to individuals suffering from recurring attacks is that when they can’t find identifiable stressors to rationalize their anxiety, they begin to turn it inward –the brain invents the explanation that they must be going crazy.

Ugh the dreaded anxiety and panic... CBT is the best way to go, or CBT and meds if it really bad. I have 16 years of experience with panic, anxiety and agoraphobia. It is a daily struggle but you can overcome it. Set backs are a natural part of these conditions. Speaking of conditions.... We condition ourselves to be and feel this way. So makes sense that you can re-condition yourself to undo this. Deep muscle relaxation, imagery, deep breathing an relaxed breathing all all good tools as ding said. Also replacing the negative thinking with positive.

Some psychologists say that using things to distract you (candy, water...) And other will say that it's best to face it head on with no distraction.

Crabby moving your limbs is something I do as well.... It's more like a "tic" or fast movement. And raking hands through hair is another.

Ding you are on the right track!!! Get up the CTB stuff, go at your own pace and don't be discouraged by setbacks!!

I am currently seeing a psychologist and have my own homework. The tapes and CD's work very well at home to relax and get through a PA. I like some of the video's on youtube.... soothing music, guided imagery, reiki music etc.. some have relaxing videos as well.

My therapy is a little different, I did do all the stuff you mentioned above Ding years ago. Now I'm onto this new CBT. The idea of this new CBT is to bring on the feelings and sensations in a safe environment, such as induced hyperventilating, spinning in a circle to create the dizzy feeling etc... So far it's working very good.

As far as meds go, if you can go med-less all the better. If not, I don't see why a person should suffer without. Some people absolutely need it. Kinda like Crohn's, some of us NEED the meds or surgery to live.

Sorry... Ding I thought you were the one who was afraid of leaving your house... I see it's Crabby.

Crabby, Ding is totally right with what she's saying about the CBT stuff. I have had most of those symptoms on your list. Feel free to PM me if you'd like.

I must have missed it, what's CBT stand for?

I've heard of people learning how to gain control back quickly by being able to put themselves into that relaxed mode that they created through conditioning. I've never done it before and don't know anyone personally who's even tried. I think I'd need a professional guide rather than winging it by myself so I can do it correctly and so I can report setbacks to someone who will then encourage me or help me try a different approach cause getting this taken care of right away is better than fumbling around for a few more years.

This is directed at anyone who's had a panic attack. In general, what are you doing at the time when it starts? Were you in a stressful situation or were you thinking about something stressful? And when I say stressful, I mean negative stressful feelings, not happy or feelings of joyful excitement. Could you also share what happened during your first panic attack?

For me, generally I'm not thinking of anything stressful and am not normally in a stressful environment. It happens without warning for me and I wouldn't say that I'm constantly stressed either. I don't even work right now. Although when I thought about the fact that I don't work right now I had at least three things flash in my mind such as the amount I owe in student loans, I need to call the loan offices about repayment, should I start going back to school but I need more info on that school if I'm going to go... I sound crazy to myself actually. I guess one thought triggers a lot of thoughts instantly for me without me having to think very in depth about any one thought.

My first panic attack happened while I was driving to my sister's house and I was going to see a boy I had started seeing that I liked. I was happy and excited and I guess a little nervous. My vision went black and my head spun so quick I almost passed out which caused me to swerve and stop the car immediately. I sat there for 5 min feeling, not quite right, dream like almost but then it went away. After it happened 3 more times while driving I went to the ER and they found nothing even after scanning my brain.

I did leave the house today and didn't use the handrail down some stairs but mainly cause there was a guy at the end of one rail and a overgrown tree at the other. But I did it anyway.

I think I want to start a journal cause I think its a good idea to be able to look over your progress or even be able to show a doc your symptoms without forgetting anything.

I also tend to start a lot of projects without finishing them like sewing on patches to these jeans I have, knitting 2 scarfs and will hopefully never stop doing the adventures of Gwatches.

Edit: Sorry all my posts seem to be really long in this thread. D:

Hey Crabby: CBT stands for cognitive-behavioural therapy, a melding of two formerly bickering approaches who finally clued in that they're better as a team. Cognitive therapy involves getting rid of things like "musterbations" ("I must do this, I must be this") and other kinds of thinking that are either incorrect or self-defeating. You replace those thoughts with new thoughts. Behavioural therapy involves replacing old behaviours with new ones (in a nutshell).

You probably already knew everything except the abbreviation CBT, but once this psych teacher gets going, you just can't get her to shut up....

I wish that teacher could crawl into my brain and fix it.

My last GP gave me Klonopin to deal with these attacks. The dose I was left at was to take 1m twice a day as needed. But I really only take it as needed because I don't want to be on drugs all the time, they don't make me feel normal. But these attacks aren't predictable so I only take one when I start having a bad attack or if I think I might have one like in an airport. But when I do that I still have to feel all of those physical symptoms for a while till the pill kicks in or at least kicks in mentally. So far this method without therapy of any sort isn't working for me.

No, no you don't. That teacher isn't trained in clinical stuff. She's just got some random facts thrown together in an attempt to keep students from dropping her course.

If you are thinking of trying therapy, I do encourage you to keep looking into your options. I saw a psychologist a couple of times when I was really sick + dealing with garbage at work (and then my employer resigning, which led to all of us losing our jobs). It was a real help.

Crohn's Doll - my anxiety issues were years ago now - i'm kinda 'healed' if you ever can be after experiencing & living with heightened anxiety & panic attacks. i say 'kinda healed' because there are still times when i feel a panic attack coming on, but i banish it with the techniques i learned years ago. the last one i had was about 2 years ago - i'd had flu, been in bed for around a fortnight, and then decided i felt better, so i drove my mum & daughter to a shopping centre. i'd literally just got out of the car, crossed the car park, began to feel a little weak (from the flu), and whoooooosh! the whole thing reared up again (i don't feel well, i'm scared, what's happening, i'm going to faint...) so the trip was abandoned and i took my time to get over the flu properly before trying to resume my normal life.

i haven't heard of this new technique - it sounds like aversion therapy. i'd be really interested to hear how you're doing this part of your therapy - it must be quite a scary prospect to know you're deliberately bringing on the panic feelings.

Crabby, the issue of bringing on the relaxation when you need it... it's not as hard as it sounds. i know i didn't think i could do it, i even didn't think i could relax in the first place! but once you've done the proper relaxation at home, and reached that lovely calm state, it's merely a matter of concentrating on that when you're feeling the panic come on, remembering lying on your bed, the peacefulness you felt there, the image you had (sun, birds, river etc).. it really does work. also, playing the mantra words in your mind helps (i'm not going to faint, it's just a panic attack etc) helps as well.

i think my very first panic attack was when i had to attend a ceremony and i was going to be on a stage in front of a large audience... i ended up watching the whole thing through a tiny glass window in the door, from the hall outside, because i felt so ill - it was a major panic attack, but i didn't know at the time. but that wasn't the reason i had anxiety, that was just the catalyst for it to rise to a PA.. the reason was deeper, i'd had 3 surgeries, nearly died, been in ICU, recovered and come home.... months later, i developed some pain and my consultant said they may have to get me back in for more surgery if it doesn't settle down. THAT was my anxiety cause, and even when the pain settled, the fear didn't, & it grew into the anxiety disorder.

Kelly - i love the term 'musterbations' lol! never heard of this before, but it really makes sense... it's all about taking unnecessary pressures off ourselves & arming ourselves with tools to heal us.

dingbat said:

sometimes i would get spasms in my hands and feet that felt like slight paralysis.

Click to expand...

This happened to me once. A work mate and I used to ride around at night after work drinking a couple beers and smokin' something I can't recall:whistleinnocently:. I have never had the type of conscious that allowed me guilty pleasures w/o a good scolding anyway. My wife was about 6 months on with our 1st. I'd been telling myself for days it's time to grow up. On the way home that night, my anxiety reached a boiling point. I could not grip the steering wheel and literally had to drive home with my forearms. As soon as I pulled into the drive, I started blowing the horn for my wife to come out. I thought I had a serious physical problem but as soon as I saw her I knew what I had to do. The last time was the last time!! It's never happened since. Talk about a wake up call!!!

As you can seen in my signature, I have been diagnosed with anxiety as well. I had the same kind of feelings as others...
-feeling like I would faint (never did)
-shaking/trembling
-not being in the moment (not sure how to describe this feeling exactly so that it makes sense)
-a feeling of needing to just get out of where ever I was at

The thing that brought it to a head was shopping in Target one day. I was standing in line and started fidgeting (which I often do/did when feeling anxious). I was on the verge of just putting my stuff down and leaving the store. I felt like I had to get out of there. I paid for my stuff and RUSHED out to my car. I sat there for a minute and then decided to drive home. But found I couldn't. I ended up pulling into a nearby restaurant parking lot and sitting there for about 10 minutes trying to calm down and be able to drive home. When I got home I collapsed on the couch and started crying. My roommate came in and was saw me and immediately asked me if I was okay. She got me to call a nurse and the nurse suggested seeing a doctor right away. I got an appointment and he said anxiety...which made me anxious. lol! I had my first therapy session then. I didn't want to take medicine, but I started with Paxil and continued with therapy for a while.
Eventually, I learned how to control it better and stopped meds. About two years ago, I felt like I couldn't control the panic again and now am on Lexapro. I have been slowly tapering down on the Lexapro, but not sure when/if I will stop taking it altogether.
Thanks for starting this thread. It is so important for everyone to know that you can deal with your anxiety/panic. Just like Crohn's, it is a disease we have but we won't let it control us!

Derealisation

A feeling that you and/or your surroundings are not real
And/or experience your surroundings through a diffused light, fog or mist


Crabby, I think that clonazepam is supposed to be taken everyday for a 24 hour coverage (for Panic disorder). Taking one tablet while having a panic attack might not cut it, it takes so long to get into the system.
Depersonalisation
Feeling as if you are "outside of your body"/ 'detached from your body', as though you are either standing alongside, above or behind

This is a common side effect.

Ding: I will post more about this CBT I'm doing after my next session which is coming up soon.

Thank you Ding, very informative, very interesting!

I suffered with stress, anxiety and panic attacks years ago, all I got was tons of tablets and a label of mental! blah, blah blah
When my husband had his head injury in 2003, we both went thro CBT, it saved my life!
Our clinical psychologist at the Neuro Centre helped me to overcome these anxities and helped me to nurse Jeff back to health. To this day, I still use all the principals of it, ie I keep a journal (keep meanin to create a website!) I chant my mantra, I put things into perspective, for example, I have a crushing pain in my head, it's not a brain tumour, it's neuralgia!
CBT works by changing the way you think, will change the way you behave, and I have now put this to good use with Mark, my new boyf, he can get very anxious, and I show him how to breathe slowly, and he also keeps a journal, he also has a mantra.
xxx

One simple thing to try alleviate anxiety is to supplement with Magnesium. I use Magnesium Citrate as it absorbs easier than some other forms. Magnesium would perform a similar role as Benedryl as it lowers histamine levels that are thought to cause this problem in some people. Magnesium is critically important, and most of us are probably lacking it due to poor digestion.

It is though that undigested food left in the intestine may cause the raised histamine levels to begin with. Acid blocking drugs may make this even worse. Digestive enzymes may help with this also.

Chloresterol levels can also be linked to anxiety. Our brain runs on the stuff, and does not do well without enough of it. Omega three fatty acid ratio can also affect brain function in the form of inflammation. Inflammation and Histamine production may often be the cause of mental problems, so it is worth trying to eliminate these causes, and see if improvement is noted.

There really is no risk involved, and general health is also suffering if these conditions exist.

Something to experiment with. I found that inflammation was the cause of my life long depression by accident. Inflammation and histamine production are probably all part of the same package.

Dan

Crohn's_Doll said:

Crabby, I think that clonazepam is supposed to be taken everyday for a 24 hour coverage (for Panic disorder). Taking one tablet while having a panic attack might not cut it, it takes so long to get into the system.
Depersonalisation
Feeling as if you are "outside of your body"/ 'detached from your body', as though you are either standing alongside, above or behind

This is a common side effect.

Click to expand...

Right but I don't like the way it makes me feel plus you can't be on it forever because its habit forming. Who only has a panic disorder for a couple years or months even? From what I understand from my doctors and therapist is that I'll likely have these problems for the rest of my life and I'm not going to be on mind altering drugs that whole time. Both antidepressants and anti anxiety drugs make me feel really weird or like I smoked weed and I'm not into that sort of thing.

I haven't had that side effect. Feels more like derealization.

Edit: I was taking Magnesium tablets for a while now but I stopped the other night cause I realized that its probably contributing to some of my weight gain/feeling bloated and I'm currently trying to shed pounds.

I have anxiety attacks, but they come on so sudden and usually without warning. I mean I'm fine going out and shopping and all of that stuff, but sometimes a thought will pop into my head outta nowhere and then I'll keep thinking about that and then my heart rate increases and I feel anxious.

I had panic attacks during a lot of my Remicade infusions. I also used to hyperventilate and have panic attacks after every performance I did in high school for color guard. It was crazy... I would be just fine before, but after the performance I would freak.

Anxiety is a weird thing.

To be honest I dont even know where to begin...my most recent anxiety and panic attacks came in the recession last year where we lost our business and house etc. I vomitted everyday. I would dread going to sleep as that would mean i would have to wake up and then be sick again. I lost sensation in my arms and face, I was afraid of phone calls and of getting mail. I still do not pick up mail out of the letterbox. I went to the ER as I thought I was having a heart attack. The pains in my chest were so intense like a fist grabbing my heart and squeezing it tight. I could not self regulate my emotions, I cried and cried. So many things happened to me that hurt my heart and soul. My family were supportive and my husband was and still is my rock. When he was forced to go away from me for two weeks to sort out company stuff my parents came up and looked after me. My mum phoned the doctor and I had an emergency appointment where I qualified under our health system for treatment with a pscyhologist. I already did a lot of cognitive strategies but I learnt some new ones - mindfulness in particular was very helpful for me. I take fluoxetine morning and night. The panic attacks are real, so very real and I do not want to go back there. Feeling loss of sensation or feeling like you were having a heart attack was not a place where I want to be. I am pleased my mum and dad were there for me and got me help. I reccomend the meds if there are needed, they help me. I also like using the Minfulness strategy to stop my brain from being in thinking mode and shift it to observing mode.

I wish my friends and family were more supportive. No one even bothers to look up information on it to educate themselves and all tell me to just relax and don't stress out. When I tell my boyfriend that I'm having a panic attack he says, "Why? Stop worrying about stuff." I'm not worrying about anything at the moment, it just happens randomly. I told my mom that I need to start therapy again and she suggests to just look up solutions online or at the library as if reading a few chapters about how to relax will make it all go away.

So I had my boyfriend read my first post in this thread in hopes that he will understand better and he says that I should stop getting myself worked up and that I'm overreacting when I say that I feel like I'm about to/might die. There isn't a huge thought process involved where you get yourself all worked up. I have physical symptoms that aren't normal that increase quickly and one of your first thoughts is that there's something very wrong and death may be a possibility. But then I realize that its most likely a panic attack and I try to start calming myself down.

Why don't people at least try to understand? The fact that they don't care doesn't reduce my anxiety.

thinking you're going to die is one of the most common thoughts that people have when experiencing a panic attack. Crabby, you should tell your family & boyfriend this. it is not you exaggerating, over-reacting, or being silly.

it is like every thing is heightened in our bodies, especially fear - this combination and climax of emotional and physical stress is probably one of the scariest possible, particularly when minutes before we've felt ok.

if you feel you want to go for therapy, just go for it, whether or not your mum supports the idea or feels it's necessary. and reassure yourself that it is only those who've never experienced this kind of thing who don't understand..... the millions of people who do have anxiety disorders know exactly what you're going through.

dingbat said:

if you feel you want to go for therapy, just go for it, whether or not your mum supports the idea or feels it's necessary. and reassure yourself that it is only those who've never experienced this kind of thing who don't understand..... the millions of people who do have anxiety disorders know exactly what you're going through.

Click to expand...

I want to Ding I really do but my insurance doesn't cover it anymore. They cover Psychiatrists but that doesn't do me much good. Tomorrow is my meeting with Social Security so everything should get squared away to where I can finally make a doctors appointment. Maybe my new GP could push for counseling and make it seem like an emergency that my insurance might cover (they stopped paying for dental but will for emergencies so maybe therapy is similar).

Ding, Thank you for sharing such an intimate post. You obviously helped others to open up and not feel like we are all wacked! I have never had anxiety before being stricken with my abdominal issues. When it initially started, I was still reeling from the loss of job. I found myself feeling as though i had little to know purpose and that many of the roles i held within the family were gone or minimized do to the change in working status. I realized just how much i depended up success in my world of work to maintain my self-esteem and swagger.

The level of anxiety that i have can be paralyzing at times. I avoid going out most times and avoid social gathering's as I am ashamed of not feeling well and not being able to work- so having to explain my issues over and over outweighs the benefits of hanging with people who care about me. (sounds even crazier outside of my head and in black & white here). I avoid phone calls, keep friends at a safe distance and am just plain fierce with telemarketers/bill collectors as well as salesmen or people spreading the "good word" thumping the bible on my front step. There are days where I wish i could build a moat around the house (fill it with gators or pirahna) and just kick back in the fortress of Jerman..... :ywow::ywow::ywow:

was diagnosed with panic dosorder and agorohobia in 1983. i thank god for xanax. although it is addictive and i can never be without it or go off it, it saved my life

I suffered for many years with anxiety/panic attacks. I still get them on rare occasions, but I'm able to control them a lot better. They seem to worsen when I have to do pred treatments or when I'm in a flare.

I joined another forum having to do with panic disorders and anxiety because I felt like I needed more support as I've been having more episodes lately. I still need therapy I know. Hopefully I'll find out tomorrow if that's possible.

My bf's company is hiring for a easy job that pays well and its a great and friendly company and would be a good place for me to start working again but I'm terrified about having a panic attack during an interview or on the job. So far I've sent in my resume but in all honesty I don't want to hear from them until I have my issues sorted out. I kind of hope they lose my resume.

I finally got an appointment with a therapist!!!! My insurance doesn't normally cover it unless someone says that its a medical emergency or something similar and the woman I talked to on the phone said not to worry that they will cover it and my appointment is this Friday. I'm so happy that I finally get to see someone.

YAY! Crabby. I hope it all goes well for you. :hug:

Take care,
Dusty

I just wanted to bump this thread because I think it has some really important information and advice that would be helpful to a lot of us here. Anxiety and panic unfortunately walks hand-in-hand with chronic diseases and it's something we need to learn to cope with.

Dingbat, that's just weird. I used to have extremely similar symptoms to you and would always worry I had a brain tumor. That was from the age of 12 onward, too. Then at 21 I found out I had "mitral valve prolapse syndrome" which is an unofficial and misunderstood kind of dysautonomia. It feels weird and it invariably comes fully loaded with panic attacks.

After finding out what was wrong, the panic attacks really never came back. Just my understanding saved me from them, because they were no longer mysterious. I know there were people like me, and that helped an incredible amount. I still have panic attacks from time to time, but they're situational and I can cope with them.

THANK GOD FOR THIS THREAD!!! What a life saving thread! Thanks so much Ding for bringing this up and everyone else for opening up about their own personal experiences!

I have suffered with anxiety/panic attacks for who really knows how long? Mum says it begun really when my father and her divorced (I was 3 and am now 34)

I guess due to life stress's, it's slowly built up to what it is now, the big ugly agoraphobia!

My brother died when I was 16 and he was 14 (actually, this Sunday is the day he died all those years ago) Growing up with a brother who suffered with asthma wasn't easy!!! We were constantly in and out of hospital and he almost died quite a few times. It would be hard for an adult to hold a person who's turned blue and isn't breathing and is unconscious, but I guess maybe more traumatic for a child/younger person. (first time I think I found my brother and held him in that state I was 8)

It went from that, to his passing to me 'rebelling' and drinking, doing drugs and looking for love in all the wrong places (thanks Waylon Jennings lol)

Then came the dreaded crohns and my already upside down life was turned upside down more. Some said it was a godsend, as I had to start taking care of myself, but I started drinking more. Which only really increased the anxiety more when I was sober, so I'd have to drink again and again and again...

I'm not sure how agoraphobia came along, it just did. I woke up one day about 3 years ago and just simply didn't want to face the world anymore.

I scream, cry and get angry! I've missed soooo much of my eldest son's highschool events, sporting events, my youngest child's first day of school, best friend of 25 years wedding, LIFE!

I just want to leave the house and sit with friends and have a cuppa or go out with them, take my kids to see a movie etc!

This thread has really given me inspiration to start looking a bit deeper and perusing things I often set up for myself then let slide due to the anxiety!

I am very lucky, I have amazing friends and amazing family who are supportive and just my rocks. Sometimes they do get angry and frustrated (missing my best friends wedding was a real pisser for my friend, we were on the verge of friends no more :'() but, they still love me.

I'm just so happy to have found a group of wonderful people who are so similar.

I had to give up with agoraphobia, study (I was at uni studying 'Bachelor of Education - Primary) - Part-time and working Full time, some friends, a LIFE! I feel I gave up so much for this dreaded thing, and it's given me nothing back but bloody misery!!!

On a happier note, I am doing a heap better then I was (I couldn't actually leave the back door, I can now easily walk around our yard, drive to almost my son's primary school, go in our front yard, collect the mail etc)

I'm also ready to start doing a bit of a scream on the doctors and INSISTING they do home visits (for now) as I'm worth more then how I feel I've been treated! Gosh, I not only crohns which needs constant and ongoing treatment/observation etc etc, i also have anxiety, which needs treating ASAP!

Thanks everyone for letting me have a vent! (I'm a bit ****** now!! At the doctors etc!)

Thanks everyone also for sharing your experiences <3

Oh yeeaah, on the topic of actual phobias, I'm a fantastically cowardly emetophobe (fear of vomit and vomiting), as well as mildly copraphobic. Of course my worst symptoms are always GI .... go figure.