# (Still) Unemployed and in need of encouragement



## dreamintwilight (Aug 10, 2010)

I'm feeling kind of down in the dumps about finding a job.

I know it hasn't been too long since I've started seriously looking for a job (about 4 months), but I'm starting to doubt myself.

Today I filled out another application, this time for a part-time job because it seems like I cannot even get entry-level office jobs due to my lack of experience in an office setting. Even though, really...how hard is it to pick up a phone and file some papers, and type data? I KNOW I can do all of those things! I was feeling slightly happy about turning in my application. My husband, Alan, told me that his coworker would even send the director of HR a letter about me since I applied for a job she was in charge of filling and I ended up not getting a call back for an interview. But she really liked my cover letter and everything. I was in her top 5 choices, but they only interviewed her top 3.

Anyway...I was talking with my husband and we've been talking about how annoying it is that the girl they chose to get the job I applied for last (not this part-time job) was straight out of college. She got the job because she worked part-time in her admissions office while in college. Well, I brushed it off. Today, Alan told me that he heard this girl also got the job because when she handed in her application she introduced herself to everyone in the office and "dazzled" them. So, the director of HR called Alan's boss to tell him about how great this girl was.

So, after hearing that I felt kind of down on myself thinking "Gosh, I guess having an amazing cover letter and being fully capable isn't always enough." It's just frustrating.

I know some may say "Well, next time you hand in your application go introduce yourself." But that's not me. I'd feel so awkward doing that. Not to mention we only have one car and I have no way of getting there. Maybe I'm making excuses. I don't know. Ever since I graduated college I feel like my self confidence has slowly been going down the drain. Like I'm in a constant battle between _knowing_ I'm capable but _feeling_ like I'm incapable. I don't know if that even makes any sense.

I had been doing relatively well lately with thinking positively, even after not getting any interviews for any of the jobs I've applied for. But hearing about a college grad getting the job over me just sent my head into a whirldwind of negativity and self doubt. I don't even know if that girl went in there thining she was going to "wow" them all. That's probably just who she is. So, then my illogical self starts to tell me that who I am is not enough.

Blah...just looking for some encouragement or something. I know I have to keep trying, but am in need of something to raise my spirits back up because I'm feeling pretty crummy.:sign0085:


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## Jennjenn (Aug 10, 2010)

The best you can do is all you can do! You are trying really hard to find a job and I know that can be frustrating. It is really tough right now and I do feel that technology has ruined the job search....For everything else I feel like its a great thing but I find it amazing that you cannot even go into a company anymore and just drop off your resume and cover letter. Everything is done by emails now and that has made a huge negative impact on the job searching for people. My brother is going through the same thing and has even asked me at times what am i doing wrong. 
It is good that you have a loving and supportive husband to keep your spirits up. It does help! I hope something goes through soon for you  Good luck


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## Jer's Girl (Aug 10, 2010)

Twilight,

You are not alone.  So many people are in your shoes right now trying to find a job and feeling down on themselves because they aren't having any luck.  The fact that you haven't found something yet has nothing to do with you or your skills, it's just a crappy economy. 

I'm sorry you are going through this.  I hope you find something great soon.  I will be thinking about you and sending good job getting vibes your way.


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks ladies 

I also wanted to clarify that I have nothing against college grads or their capabilities. I reread my original post and there was an air of hostility when referring to college grads. 

It's just annoying when you're told that you weren't called in for an interview because the other applicants were more qualified. But I must admit that my job experience is quite unconventional compared to most others. I have an arts background, so that often times doesn't "translate" into the real world, even though it absolutely can! Most employers want literal work experience rather than something that, while different, can prepare you with the same qualities and maybe even more.

I think just getting an interview would be a bit of an encouragement, even if I still didn't end up getting the job. At least it would mean they thought I was somewhat qualified!

I know I'm whining now. I know there are a lot of people who are worse off than I am and have been unemployed far longer than I have been. I should be grateful that my husband at least has a job.

I just want to have my confidence back. That would be enough to keep me going anyway 

Thanks for letting me vent.


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## Crohn's 35 (Aug 10, 2010)

Hey Marisa, it is true that jobs are not plentiful enough in the states. They still need to smooth out the economy and it will it is coming. It always does!  These hard times come around every 10 years and one of them had 19% on mortgages and no jobs or apts.  

Hang in there, and I do know that taking in your resume usually does help alot.   Hard to say no to your pretty face!  Don't be discouraged, something will come soon enough, dont give up!!! Hugs, and keep us posted!


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## Jerman (Aug 10, 2010)

Hey Marisa, I feel your pain cyba sista! I had worked for 21 years finding jobs for people with special needs and never did the stereotypical grocery bagging or maintenance positions that so many folks with challenges seem to be stuffed into. I had some people that were pretty tough to place due to physical, cognitive or behavioral issues. However, I did it and absolutely kicked butt at it!

However.....it appears that there are just so many more people that are out of work than there are opportunities. I am not even getting interviews lately. I am signed up with every job website that seems worth a darn and have exhausted all of my contacts within my field. It is just brutal out there. I saw last night on the news that there was a job fair in the detroit area for 10-15 days of work. they had over 1000 people waiting in line overnight from like 3 am. 

things have got to get better soon pal, keep plugging along and just do the very best you are able. you are a wonderful person and deserve better, strong & proud baby! Better days are ahead. :hang::goodluck:


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## MapleLeafGirl (Aug 10, 2010)

I went through this when I first graduated from University only in reverse.  No one wanted the girl fresh out of school, they wanted experience (which I didn't really have).  I ended up taking a job in my boyfriend at the time, Uncle's company that was (I felt) way beneath me, but it turned out to be the best thing I ever did because it led me so many unexpected places.

I know it is especially hard for you as you don't really know a lot of people in Chicago, but networking really is the key.  Do you have any relatives or people your husband may know that have an "in" at certain companies?  Is there something you could start on your own, like a home based business even if it's something small that could lead you to more contacts and perhaps a future job?  I really feel that if you could just get a small start you'd be well on your way to bigger and better things.


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## Jennifer (Aug 10, 2010)

The job market sucks everywhere right now and all you can do is keep trying. I'm a college grad as well with a Masters in bologna apparently. Not really but that's what it feels like cause once you finish college/grad school and try to get a job you realize that you have no experience and everyone wants 2-6 years worth of pointless pubic hair trimming or something. Anyone can do it but the point is that they did it already and you didn't therefore they get the awesome jobs while we have to start licking boots. 

You have to do whatever your can to be remembered. Some people are financially capable of flying their private jet over to the hiring crew's house and make them dinner and give them a massage and get the job because they remember that person when the application comes across their desk. "Oh ya, that's the person who made the roast beef and gave me a full body massage. Totally hired!" Sure going there in person is important because its personal and you'll be remembered. But in reality, you can only do what you're capable of. If you can hand in your application in person, then I recommend it no matter how shy you think you are. People like hiring confident people. So stand up straight, smile, don't fidget, extend your hand and introduce yourself. It has a longer lasting impression than a name on a piece of paper. But if you can't then maybe try a phone call instead. Always try to go in person when you can though. Personal connections is how most people get jobs.

I graduated over a year ago and still have no luck. My boyfriend just got an entry level job after graduating 4 years ago. Its hard but don't give up.


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks to all for the responses.

Not 20 minutes after my last post I received an e-mail in my inbox:



Hi Marisa:

I received your application for Human Resources Assistant.  I would like to schedule a time to have you come over and meet with me for awhile to discuss this position.

I have some time Thursday afternoon or anytime on Friday if this will work with your schedule.

Please let me know a good time for you.

Thanks,

Janet
Director of Human Resources
Trinity International University



:ywow:


Now I know that this doesn't necessarily mean anything. I am actually not even sure if this is technically an interview. Is it? But, at least I'm finally meeting with someone! Yay! And the director of Human Resources at that. If this doesn't pan out, maybe she'd recommend me at least for future job openings if she likes me. 

Kelly - The husband has been trying to use as many connections to get me interviews. Trinity is actually where he works in the admissions department (also the school I attended for a short period of time). We don't know any relatives up here either, so yeah. It's been difficult finding those connections, but we've been trying our hardest! Hopefully, I'll meet with the HR director this week and at the very least get my foot in the door!

Thanks again everyone. Keep your toes and fingers crossed, pray, and send your best thoughts my way that this "meeting" goes well!


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## Cat-a-Tonic (Aug 10, 2010)

Hi Marisa, sorry to hear you're feeling depressed about your job hunt.  I am fortunate to have full-time work, but I know many people who have been unemployed for months or even years.  It's a terrible job market out there.  Many talented, smart, experienced people are without jobs just due to the poor economy and bad job market - unfortunately, that means you're competing with a lot of people for what few jobs there are.

I think in another thread you've said that you're a singer (?).  Maybe you could advertise your musical services, you could sing at weddings or something like that?  Just something to keep you busy and get you out of the house for a few hours a week until you find the job you want.  Otherwise, is there anything you can do to boost your resume - maybe take a class or volunteer somewhere?  I know you're an animal lover (you've mentioned your cats before), and I know places like animal shelters are always looking for volunteers.  Good luck with whatever you decide to do, and I hope you are able to cheer up soon!


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## Cat-a-Tonic (Aug 10, 2010)

I think I posted my response at the same time you posted yours.  Congrats on the interview!  Good luck and let us know how it goes!


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 10, 2010)

Hahaha...I appreciate your post though, Cat. Those are good suggestions if this doesn't end up working out


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## scifi-enthusiast (Aug 10, 2010)

I feel your pain. 

My problem is that my last job I held for 2 years, so I kinda have to put that on my resume. Thing is, when I apply they contact my previous employer who tells them I was fired for going over my sick days, so that causes me to lose the interview. So now, after not working for 10 months I decided to apply for SSD & SSI. And if I don't get it for the crohn's, I'll reapply and most likely get it for depression.

I did decide to go back to school for Legal Office Management (Legal Secretary) and found out that the field is nearly as good as the medical.

See what field is hiring the most in your area, and if it's interesting to you apply as much as you can in it.


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## Regular Joe (Aug 10, 2010)

Hi Marisa,

My girlfriend is 46, and Crohn's took her out in her last job. It was a real bad scene, and the "institution" should have been sued, they were so hostile and agressive. Believe it or not it was a "church".

She is having a nightmare with posititions and interviews. Twice, she has made it to the top two candidates, only to be rejected. The last job she was a "shoe-in" and the president loved her. But the board of trustees apparently owed someone a favor, and they selected a "college grad" with virtually no experience - and the job was an executive position. Incredible.

The job situation is extremely competitive, and employers can select as they please.

So there are a a couple things you can try that will bring about encouragement, alothough you might not get immediate results  with a job.

There are hospitals, hospices, nursing homes, and a number of not-for-profit organizations that welcome volunteers. When I'm feeling down, nothing works better than finding someone who needs help, and then rolling up my sleeves. When I feel like you do about myself, I need something other than a paycheck. Helping someone without any expectations may be "out of style", but to someone who is in need, you can make a difference in someone's life. There are countless volunteers in their red suit jackets at the Cleveland Clinic who do nothing but escort people to the many "cities" in that center.

The other thing was mentioned, and that is working to develop "human" networks. Facebook doesn't mean a thing - in fact I haven't joined Facebook because most online "social networking" isn't social at all, it's a mere pretense for sexual encounters most of the time. Married, single, old, young...lots of extensive keystrokes going back and forth for the sake of orgasms. Phooey! Or how about playing "blackjack" for hours with Turkish nationals trying to secure green cards through arranged marriages? The internet has become so disgusting, obscene, and degenerate to me that I often want to throw my computer out the window.

Getting to social events such as organizational benefits at schools and universities, alumni get-togethers, and volunteering for educational or fine arts service will get you in front of people. You have a HUGE and beautiful art museum that is quite impressive, and over the weekends, tons of people walk through the doors.

I hope you catch my drift...put one foot in front of the other and get your face in front of people, so they can see your smile and sense your warmth. That will help you feel better about you, and it might help you get connected to someone who can help you find employment.


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks, Joe! 

Volunteering is a good idea. I'm rather far from the city currently (just moved into the 'burbs), so I'm looking for something a bit closer to home. but, I catch your drift on getting out there and extending my network of contacts. I'm sure this will be helpful to know for Alan as well as he's getting his MBA and will need to find a "real" job eventually.

Thanks for all your suggestions and encouragement!


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## Entchen (Aug 10, 2010)

Marisa, so excited about your conversation (preliminary interview?) on Friday! You'll be great!!!!

I'm aware that you have been reading about what to wear and I've said a few things on your FB page about it, too. Here's the crux of the matter: if it makes you feel CONFIDENT and tells people that you're well put together, then it's a good outfit.


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks, Kelly  That is helpful.

I asked Alan how he thought I should prepare for my meeting on Friday (still not sure if this is a real interview or if it's a getting to know you sort of deal) and he said he wasn't sure, but he got the sense that she is the type to use more of a behavioral interview rather than "Tell me about a time where you had to deal with something unpleasant." But, he's going based on a hunch, so there's no telling.

I think my biggest concern is perhaps being too honest. Not oversharing, but I'm pretty honest when it comes to things. I know some people will say you shouldn't say certain things in interviews (ie telling your potential future employer you have Crohn's and may be out of the office for doctor's appointments or unexpected hospital visits), but for me I'd be uncomfortable withholding those sorts of things. I kind of feel like, if you really want to hire me you will hire me despite these things!

One main area I keep going over in my head is the fact that I'm applying for a job at the university I used to attend and decided not to go back to recently (realized it wasn't right for me). I'm worried if it comes up in our conversation it may be a "turn off." But on the other hand, shows that I have an understanding of the environment and atmosphere at the university!


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## Entchen (Aug 10, 2010)

Am sure you'll make the right decisions for you!

Re. you being a former student -- if the matter comes up, you could maybe consider softening the statement by saying that their academic program isn't quite right for you_ at this point in time_ (according to where you feel God wants you, if this is the case).


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## ameslouise (Aug 10, 2010)

Chin up, Marisa!  It's tough out there, but your personality will shine thru once you get to meet people in person and I'm sure something will click soon!

Hang in there!  Thinking of you and wishing you good luck!  xo -Amy


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## D Bergy (Aug 10, 2010)

Getting a job is like being a salesman or rolling the dice.  It is a numbers game.

There is a statistic out there some place that says if you apply for 100 jobs, you will get x amount of interviews and out of x amount of interviews you will get x amount of job offers.

Of course anything you can do to tip the odds in your favor, will increase that outcome, whatever it is.

It is a matter of persistence, and large numbers.  You get better at it as you go, and your odds are ever increasing the more you do it.

Sorry to reduce it to math, but it really is a matter of the most persistent person wins.

So be persistent.

Dan


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## Crohn's 35 (Aug 10, 2010)

Yeah what Dan says, my mom always used to say "_it's the squeaky wheel that gets the oil!_  Good luck,let us know how the interview goes!


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 10, 2010)

It's funny you talk about persistence.

Right after I posted this...I went down to the kitchen to put away my plates from lunch. I was standing there looking out my sliding glass doors to watch the birds land on the bird feeder. I started thinking about the darn squirrels that keep getting to the feeder, even after we put up a "squirrel guard" to keep them from getting to it. At first they weren't sure if they could get to it, but they kept trying and trying, even after multiple scare tactics on our part that caused them to scurry away quickly. Well...one day I look out and there the squirrel is hanging upside down by only his feet eating the bird seed out of it.

I just have to be persistent like those squirrels and eventually I'll get to the point where I'm not afraid to be hanging from my feet and getting what I've been trying so hard to get!


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## 5 iron (Aug 10, 2010)

dreamtwilight close the deal,when you go the interview you just recieved,turn the tables,you tell the HR person that you will be the best hire they have made and to prove it,hire me for a month and if im not everything your looking for then don't pay me.now thats confidence,you can do this,go get'em.GOOD LUCK fingers crossed for ya.


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## belle1999 (Aug 10, 2010)

So glad you got an interview!!!
I feel your pain, too. I got my master's degree about a year and half ago and after that, I was completely at a loss. I stepped into a horrible job market and didn't get a job for about 6 months. It was tough and I got really down. Finally, I got a job...it was only a part-time position, but it has led to some extraordinary experiences and a great, compassionate team of people (very, very understanding about my crohn's!). I hope that great things turn out for you, too!!!


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks, Sarah! That is comforting to hear. Not that you had a terrible time finding a job, but that good can come from even small opportunities 

5 Iron - Not sure I can be THAT confident, haha, but I will do my best to "close the deal!"


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## D Bergy (Aug 10, 2010)

The Squirrel is one perfect analogy.  Nothing is more persistent than the Squirrel trying to get into the feeder.  And they almost always get there eventually, even though they are up against the most intelligent species on the planet.

Be the Squirrel.

Dan


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 10, 2010)

Be the Squirrel. New mantra.


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## DustyKat (Aug 11, 2010)

Marisa that is great news!!! YAY!!!

I wish you all the luck in the world with your interview.............


:goodluck::goodluck::goodluck:


So happy for you, 
Dusty


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## InkyStinky (Aug 11, 2010)

dreamintwilight said:


> I think my biggest concern is perhaps being too honest. Not oversharing, but I'm pretty honest when it comes to things. I know some people will say you shouldn't say certain things in interviews (ie telling your potential future employer you have Crohn's and may be out of the office for doctor's appointments or unexpected hospital visits), but for me I'd be uncomfortable withholding those sorts of things. I kind of feel like, if you really want to hire me you will hire me despite these things!


Hey Marisa! Did I read somewhere that this position is part-time? If it is and you know that you'd be working, say, MWF and T/Th off, then you could plan ahead for your appts. on your days/times off. Since you would just be committing to part-time employment, what you do with the rest of your time wouldn't necessarily be relevant to the university. And as for unexpected hospital visits, these could happen to anyone, not just to a Crohnie!

Anyway, good luck with this appointment!


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## Lisa (Aug 11, 2010)

Good luck with the appointment!....there is a lot of good advice in this thread.....

Something else to look at - check out Civil Service postings - that is a GREAT way to get a foot in the door - most are by examination, usually really good benefits/retirement - the playing field gets evened out.......there is protection too for illness, a lot more than in the private sector.


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 11, 2010)

Thanks, Sabrina. You make a good point. I keep forgetting it's part-time 

Paso - I'll have to look more into Civil Service, thanks!


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## RachLG (Aug 11, 2010)

Hi there!  I was reading through your thread and it made me recall what I terrible time I had had finding a job, and this was before the job market in the US went down the tube.  I sent in 87 resumes, which cost a small fortune in resume paper and stamps  and only ended up with 2 interviews and a few phone calls to say I was far too unqualified (turns out in science, people like to see PhD, not just BS).  But just like when falling in love, all it takes is that one person to like you, that one opportunity, and things turn around.  Just do your best in your meeting to be outgoing, but I get what you mean - it's not my nature either to announce myself to the world.  If she asks you your strengths/weaknesses, a good way to put this (for me at least) was that I can be a little shy and more quiet, but this allows me to take in my surroundings and to listen well to my peers.  Also, I'm hoping for you that this Friday leads to a job, but if not - have you tried going through a hiring agency?  While in the job search, I just googled hiring and ended up calling to put my name in the database of some of these agencies.  It didn't work for me at the time, but I actually have received countless emails since then for jobs that I may be suited for.  Anyway, it's an option.  Good luck this Friday!  If you get nervous, just think of all your forum buddies wishing you a good day!


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 11, 2010)

Thanks, Rach! You're comment on what to say about being shy actually was really helpful. I tend to be more on the shy side, but only at first! I usually warm up to people pretty quickly! Though I've heard from some (more outgoing) people that they think I'm not friendly just because I'm more quiet. I wish shy people didn't get stuck with that stereotype so quickly.

I have thought about job agencies and actually looked up a few a while back, but all of the ones that sounded good were downtown and a long train ride from where I'm at now. A lot of them wanted you to come in person as well, which would make for a long travel day just to get in a database. Perhaps, since we recently moved there might be agencies around where I live now that wouldn't be too hard to get to. I'll have to look again. I remember when my husband first moved up here (a few months before we got married so he could start school), he used 2 different agencies. One never responded back to him and the other could never find him any jobs, which shocked me. He has way more relevant job experience than me! He ended up finding a job on his own after all of that mess.


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 11, 2010)

Well, it's official! Meeting is set for 10 am Friday morning!  Thanks for all the support everyone. I'll be sure to keep you all updated on how it went.


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## whysoserious (Aug 11, 2010)

Good luck! :hug:


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## D Bergy (Aug 11, 2010)

Go get them sunflower seeds.

Dan:kello::kello:


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 12, 2010)

UPDATE:

I got an e-mail this morning from the director of HR letting me know she had to cancel our meeting tomorrow and that the hiring of the position was going to be put off for several weeks.

So, that sucks. Alan says he thinks it may have to do with money reasons. So, who knows if they'll still hire someone for the position. They may just end up sticking it on an already existing employee if they don't have the budget. So, we'll see. Guess it wasn't meant to happen for right now. Gotta keep trying!


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## Jerman (Aug 12, 2010)

Sorry about your frustration in finding work. Easy to say and hard to do but try your best to not lot it outwarding affect your confidence. You are a very bright lady and will find something very soon , i hope.  Good luck Marisa:hug:


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## Astra (Aug 12, 2010)

Hiya Marisa!

sorry I'm late, been away!
nothing more to advise, not knowing the present climate over there, but just to say someone will snap up a beautiful, intelligent girl like you!
well, I bloody well hope so anyway!!
make like the squirrel!
good luck and lotsa luv
xxxxxxx


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 12, 2010)

Thanks Jerman and Joan  I'm not discouraged. A wee bit disappointed, but things will work out eventually, I know it! Sometimes it just requires being a little patient and a vent here and there


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## wolfem (Aug 12, 2010)

Hopefully you will still be able to do the interview.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for ya!:ysmile:

I'm sure something will come up for you.

-Mary


____________________________
Diagnosed: Crohn’s December ‘09
Gastritis August ’09, TMJD 1992   
Surgeries: 1-terminal ileum removal
Treatments: Current- pentasa
Past- pred.:shifty-t: aciphex, ranitidine
Other: Multi-vitamin, calcium, 
digestive enzymes, probiotics, 
and fish oil


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## whysoserious (Aug 12, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear that Marisa. Maybe there is something even better around the corner for you. Fingers crossed for you!


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 12, 2010)

Yeah, I hope so too, Mary! But, I won't complain if something better does pop up.


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## Entchen (Aug 12, 2010)

What a disappointment. As the others said, it can be on to bigger and better for you next. I'll pray that the next opportunity is right around the corner.


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 23, 2010)

Just wanted to give an update!

I got a phone call today about the director of HR to reschedule our appoinment to meet and talk about the position. It's this Friday at 9 am. 

Support, and prayers are always appreciated!

What's funny is...last night I had a dream that I was offered a position in my husband's office. They were telling me that it was only a part-time 4 hour job, but I was like "That's okay! It's something!" Haha...I have a habit of having semi-psychic dreams on occasion. 

We'll see if this is one of them!


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## Jennifer (Aug 23, 2010)

Meeting on Friday huh? Sounds like they want you to start on Monday.


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## MapleLeafGirl (Aug 23, 2010)

Good luck!  Sending positive thoughts your way....  can you feel them?


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## Crohn's 35 (Aug 23, 2010)

dreamintwilight said:


> Just wanted to give an update!
> 
> I got a phone call today about the director of HR to reschedule our appoinment to meet and talk about the position. It's this Friday at 9 am.
> 
> ...


Ha me too, now if I could only dream of winning the lottery!  :ycool:

Good luck , I am sure you will get the job!


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 23, 2010)

I really really hope so! Thanks everyone for your support! It would be nice to report back with good news


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## DustyKat (Aug 24, 2010)

Oh YAY Marisa, that's great!!!!!!

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed that it all turns out well for you.........


:goodluck::goodluck::goodluck:


Dusty.


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## Jerman (Aug 24, 2010)

Good news Marisa, You know i am pulling for you kiddo! Sending a hug and positive thoughts your way!:goodluck::hug:


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 26, 2010)

Hey guys! I'm starting to get nervous!! At least it's first thing in the morning, so I don't have to worry all day.

Any words of wisdom, tips, advice I might need going into the interview? It's my first professional interview


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## Guest555 (Aug 26, 2010)

Always wipe your hands with tissue or similar just before the interview.  Not good to start with a sweaty handshake!


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## Lisa (Aug 26, 2010)

Be YOU!.....If you are asked a question and you don't have an answer on the tip of your tongue - because you need to think about it - say so.....sometimes interviewers will ask something that they know should require thought, to see if the person just blurts something out without giving it a thought.....

Take your time answering questions, and be honest! 

Good luck in the morning, I'm sure you will do GREAT!


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 26, 2010)

Had a question too...

My husband said something I hadn't even thought of. We're going to California for about a week in October for our anniversary.

When should/would I bring that up in the interview? I would imagine it would be important to mention since it was already scheduled and would be happening relatively soon after the hire would happen in October.

And how much to disclose regarding my Crohn's? I don't have a problem talking about it, but I don't want to discourage them from hiring me because they think I'm going to be out of the office a lot because of it. Currently, I'm doing really well, but not sure if my past hospitalizations would make it sound more serious. And I know I may end up talking about my hospitalizations because she might ask me to tell her about myself and it has a lot to do with why I want to work at this university (the understanding and support we received from my husband's office when I was hospitalized).

Is it normal for employers to ask if I have any questions about the job? Is it looked at negatively if I don't have any? What questions would be important to ask?


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## Rebecca85 (Aug 26, 2010)

For the Crohn's, I would mention your past hospitalisations, but stress that you are now on a treatment regime that appears to be working, and that most of your problems were pre diagnosis.

As for questions about the job, it is always nice if you have questions but if not, smile and say something like 'no questions, you've covered everything already'.

I'm afraid I don't know about the holiday. Maybe mention it right at the end, so hopefully they've already made up their mind to hire you (think positive!). Or maybe not mention it at all unless they offer you the job? Maybe someone else has a better idea!


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 26, 2010)

Thanks, Rebecca 

I like what you said about the hospitalizations. That's a good way of putting it without it sounding overwhelming!

Yeah...with questions I tend to figure them out as I go along. So, who knows. I suppose it will depend on what she says about the job during the interview. Like you said, she could end up covering all my possible questions. I was thinking if she asked if I had any questions it would be a good time to bring up the vacation. I don't want her to think I was purposefully hiding it to get hired. But I'm not sure what the normal etiquette is regarding that. Hopefully others may have some input to add


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## Lisa (Aug 26, 2010)

If things are going well, and I'm sure they will! I would make sure to bring up the issue of the trip.....Especially since this is a pre-planned thing - before you got the interview, right?....I think that if they like you and want you, something could be worked out....

Is this for a part time or full time position? If part time, maybe offer to make up some time the week before/after? It will show that you are willing to work - have a good work ethic......


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## dustydshook (Aug 26, 2010)

I work part time in the local public school system. I started out as a substitute teacher which is perfect for us crohnies because on the days you are sick you just tell them no and you can't get fired for it.  You don't have to have a degree as a teacher either.  Matter of fact you don't even have to have a degree.  We went to a two day class. I don't know where you live but they are desperate for substitutes here so you get a lot of work and for some one with a degree of any kind it pays around $130 a day.  It was an extremely easy process for hiring here.  Then I got hired on permanately even though they already knew I had crohns.  I missed 24 days already this yr. not including summer break and they don't mind because they can get substitutes they work very well with me.


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 26, 2010)

Lisa - Yeah, it was a pre-planned trip prior to the interview being scheduled. That's a good idea offering to make up the hours. It is only a part-time position, but maybe I could work "full-time" hours either the week before or after.

dusty - Thanks for the suggestion, but to be honest, I'm not really interested in teaching. I'm a big believer that teaching should be somewhat of a passion. We all know those teachers that make it evident they'd rather be doing something else. But kudos to anyone who loves to do it and do it well! I worked with kindergarteners in an after school care program once and it was one of the most stressful things I've ever done, haha. Obviously, that's not my calling, haha!

Regardless, I live in the state of Illinois that not only requires you to have an education degree in order to teach, but an education degree from the state of Illinois! When my husband moved up here and was unemployed it was one of the jobs he looked into since he had previous experience teaching several differnt music classes. He was unable to even be considered despite his experience because he didn't have either!


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## Jennifer (Aug 26, 2010)

dreamintwilight said:


> Had a question too...
> 
> My husband said something I hadn't even thought of. We're going to California for about a week in October for our anniversary.
> 
> ...


So far I've been told that if they don't ask, then keep crohns on the down low for now or it could be mentioned when they ask you to tell them about yourself but remember that you're trying to sell yourself to them at this point so don't tell them that you'll probably be hospitalized a lot. Tell them that its made you a stronger person. But keep it limited cause this interview is about you and you wanting this job not about your problems. 

Yes it's normal for them to ask you if you have any questions and yes it looks bad if you have none. Write down a bunch of questions (don't ask more than 3 unless they really didn't cover much in the interview) for starters but always remember to ask this very important question (even if its your only question): "I'm really excited about working here and I was wondering if you feel comfortable about taking the next step." Or something along those lines. That lets you know what your chances are and lets them know that you're still interested after the interview. 

I wouldn't mention that you're going anywhere some time soon unless they ask you to start working that day that you're leaving. Sell sell sell yourself.


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## Silvermoon (Aug 26, 2010)

I would agree with Crabby at this point.  Going for a few interviews myself, I like the "If they don't ask, don't tell" theory... you are trying to "put yourself out there"... be the strong and positive person you are!!  

That being said, once you get the job and get to know your boss/supervisor better and "test the waters", THAN you can make them aware (especially if it starts to become and issue) of your situation and what you are going through.

IF they do happen to ask if you have any medical conditions that might affect your work, then you can go with the above suggestions, basically saying "Yes I have Crohn's and have been hospitalized in the path, but I have been symptom free for X number of months now and feel very confident I can do the work involved".

As for the holiday, I WOULD bring that up, as it is preplanned.  And they will appreciate that you are giving them advanced notice so everyone is on the same page.  (This is different from telling them about your "illness" though, in that it is a very set time frame that you will be away, and a definite date you will be back to work, rather than with an "illness" you may go off work at any time for any length of time... so you don't really want to "sell" that part of you...lol).

Good luck ((((((((((((( Marissa )))))))))  You will do awesome!!


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## dustydshook (Aug 26, 2010)

You do have to have a degree to teach just not substituting.  I didn't like the substitute teaching either so I transfered and now work in the kitchen.  They also accept substitutes for kitchen work and office/receptionist even nursing and janitorial.


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 26, 2010)

Crabby - I absolutely wouldn't paint a negative picture of my hospitalizations. If I were to bring them up it would be that during that period of time in my life Trinity (the place I am applying to and where my husband already works in a different department) was extremely supportive of both of us and that's exactly the kind of employer I'm looking for. Someone that doesn't just see me as a warm body performing a function, but rather a member of a small community who they care about!

It would also come up in my "about me" how I got to be where I am (took off from school due to illness and being in the hospital and had to to reevaluate where I wanted to go with my life and looking for a job is where I feel I need to be right now). But I would definitely mention that my perspective and attitude had only benefitted from going through such an ordeal 

I think another reason why I want to work for Trinity is because it's naturally a more accepting and understanding environment due to it being a Christian university. I would hope they would take my circumstances and how I've been able to deal with them as a positive thing and show them the kind of attitude I could provide and person that would add to their working environment.


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## Entchen (Aug 26, 2010)

Marisa, I'll be thinking about you tomorrow! Go get 'em! Working at a Christian university rocks. 

xo


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## InkyStinky (Aug 26, 2010)

Hey Marisa! So glad you have the interview! I'll be praying for you. Just remember you're nervous because you care about doing a good job, so focus on why you'd like to work at Trinity and you should make a great impression!

About the trip - maybe if an "opening" doesn't present itself you could mention that your schedule is flexible so you'd be available to swap with coworkers - then mention the trip and say you'd be willing to cover for other folks if they'd be flexible enough to cover that time you'll be gone. Mentioning your trip upfront lets the interviewer know you're responsible enough to plan things out


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## Astra (Aug 27, 2010)

Good Luck sweetie!
Knock em dead!
xxxxx


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 27, 2010)

Well, I finished the interview about an hour ago. It went well, I think, but not sure if it really made me stand out. It was hard to tell.

She was really nice, but didn't give me much opportunity to ask my own questions. I asked one (not even job-related) before she asked if she could bring in some of the other workers to meet me and let them ask me some questions if they wanted to. Which I guess is maybe a good thing?

She actually threw me for a loop the second I sat down for the interview. She told me that she was also conducting the interview for another department I had also applied for a while ago that I hadn't heard back from. So, I wasn't really prepared in that aspect. Not really sure if my answers made my strengths stand out for the other position (which is full-time and pays WAY more).

So, yeah. Feeling kind of unsure and indecisive about how I feel and how it all went!

So, we'll see. I asked her about the time frame for hiring the position and she said within the next couple of weeks they should have candidates narrowed down and will most likely conduct 2nd interviews. So, now it's just the waiting game...


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## Lisa (Aug 27, 2010)

Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!


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## jamilea (Aug 27, 2010)

Sorry to hear you are having such a struggle to find work. I was just laid off a couple of weeks ago due to being sick all of the time so I know how you feel.

Don't doubt yourself. Just try your best and the rest will come. Someone told me that once and she always has proved to be correct in saying that.

I hope you find work soon. I know you will!!


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 27, 2010)

Thanks, Lisa 

I appreciate your kind words, Jamilea! You're absolutely right. Sometimes waiting is the hardest part


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## jamilea (Aug 27, 2010)

You're welcome and yes, waiting is hard but treat yourself well because you are worth it. It's really easy to be hard on ourselves, especially since we are such strong people but health issues beat us down. 

Treat yourself to a nice bath with bubbles or a pedicure. 

I see you are in IL. I was born in Great Lakes Naval Hospital. A lot of my family lives there (mom's side) and WI (dad's side).


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 27, 2010)

Well, I AM getting a hair cut today!  And we're going to Olive garden tonight to enjoy the Never Ending Pasta Bowl that's going on. Woo!

I am notorious for being too hard on myself 

I am actually not a native Illinoisian (I think I might have made that up), but a native Floridian! I moved to Chicagoland coming up on two years now. We love it here though.


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## jamilea (Aug 28, 2010)

Hey Marisa,

Good evening! How's the new do? Did it make you feel a bit better about yourself? I hope so!!

And I know you were totally diggin' Olive Garden. I was so envious when you said that. I LOVE pasta and don't get to eat very much of it because of a NightShade Family food allergy. And you know white sauce has So much sodium.

Anyways, regarding "Illinoisian", I think it just depends on how you're pronouncing it LOL!!

I love Chi Town. I miss Florida too. My hubby and I lived in West Palm Beach for a minute and Key West for about 8 months. Had a blast and then the economy got WAY too bad to stay there. I miss the ocean so much. It's So cold up here in M.D. 

Well, cheers to you and I'm hoping you are having a better day.

Love, Jami Lea :yoshijumpjoy:


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## dreamintwilight (Aug 29, 2010)

Hey Jami! The haircut is good  I like it, thanks for asking!

Yeah, Olive Garden isn't the most healthy restaurant, but we always have to take advantage when the NEver Ending Pasta Bowl comes around 

Oh yeah...haha. I was typing Illinoisian and forgot about how it's actually said. I suppose then it would be Illinoisanite!


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## dreamintwilight (Sep 3, 2010)

Well, I heard back about the HR position I interviewed for last week. It was offered to someone else with significant HR experience. Guess they decided not to do 2nd interviews after all.

Well, on the flip side, I got an e-mail from the guy who is hiring the other position I was "pre-interviewed" for that same day I went in for the HR position. He set up a phone interview for next Wednesday at 9 am to talk about the position! So, we'll see how that one goes!


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## DustyKat (Sep 3, 2010)

Hey Marisa,

Sorry to hear you didn't get the job  but YAY! for securing an interview for the other position. Sending tons of luck for Wednesday and keeping my fingers and toes crossed that you are successful! .........................................


:goodluck::goodluck::goodluck::goodluck:


All the best! 
Dusty


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## dreamintwilight (Sep 4, 2010)

Thanks, Dusty! I definitely need to take advantage of the Labor Day sales this week and try and find a suit in case they call me in for a real interview. It would definitely call for something more professional!  It'd be good to have it on hand anyway.


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## dreamintwilight (Sep 15, 2010)

Well, I just got the "thanks, but no thanks" call from the latest job I applied for. He said they were going in a different direction and had some other candidates that fit the criteria they're looking for. Ah well.

He did say that if there were any other positions I applied for at the university, he would be more than happy to be a reference for me. So, that's nice anyway.

A director position for the same department was posted yesterday that my husband was thinking of applying for, but didn't want to ruin my chances of getting the other job. I told him not to worry about as this job was not my dream job, and the job he was thinking of applying for would be more in line with the career path he wants to go in. Well, now he doesn't have to worry about that kind of conflict with me!  Haha.

So, I'm back on the hunt again! And have 2 suits waiting patiently in the closet for interviews!


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## Jerman (Sep 15, 2010)

Hold your head high my friend, you are just too tenacious to not come out ahead in the end. In regards to disclosing your condition, I would wait until you are hired as then you should be protected by the American with Disabilities act. You condition would/should be held in confidence with the HR person and you should be able to request certain accomodations (bathroom breaks maybe) and be covered by law. Just fly under the radar a bit once hired and remember from my firing that there are still scum out there that will be and act like malevolent d-heads regardless of laws. When you do get hired keep a journal of any mistreatment or idiotic conduct directed your way so that a disability lawyer can make you a wealthy woman. :ycool:


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## DustyKat (Sep 15, 2010)

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that Marisa, but hey you'll look a million dollars when you go for your next one! Give my best to hubby and I wish him all the luck in the world with his application. 

Take care, 
Dusty


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## roundtuit (Sep 15, 2010)

Marisa, you have such a lovely forum personna that I would hire you if I could. 
    Have you ever thought of doing temp work?  In addition to a temporary position while you continue to look for permanent, you get some recent employment experience. People that are already employed are often considered a better option than unemployed ( odd but true) . I started temping and ended up being offered an internal position by the temp service! Just a thought...and many of the services have an online application. Just a thought...


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## dreamintwilight (Sep 16, 2010)

Thanks, Joni! I'll look more into temp stuff. You make a good point about padding my resume with experience  And hey, if I hate it, it's only temporary, right? 

Thank you Jerman and Dusty for always being encouraging and supportive!  I'll pass the well wishes along to Alan too!

Oh, funny story...remember that first job I applied for, which was my husband's old job? Well...apparently the girl they hired isn't catching on as well as they might have thought. Super sweet girl, but still very naive. The girl at the office that was interviewing for the position came into Alan's office the other day and she was like "I wish I would have hired Marisa!!" Haha! She was supposed to be responsible for hiring the position, but Alan's new boss took over the responsibility instead. She told Alan he wouldn't even consider me for the job because I had no "practical experience" and the girl who got hired had "more" practical experience than me because she had an internship working in the admissions office at the college she just graduated from. But, it was nice to know that someone actually wanted to hire me, but she wasn't allowed to! Haha.


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## roundtuit (Sep 16, 2010)

You are right Marisa! In temp employment services it is called "try before you buy" and it definately works both ways. It also can look pretty good on a resume.

 You can end up doing the most interesting things too. I worked temp for a city office, a port office, a timber company, and a real estate office before I ended up in employment services. Ironically I was laid off when the economy took a dive, but was not unemployed very long before the real estate office found out I was available. I have been back there ever since.
Good luck!!!


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## dreamintwilight (Sep 27, 2010)

Well, I started applying for some bank teller positions that were open nearby. I have plenty of customer service experience and cash handling from working at Starbucks. Hope that's enough for them to give me a chance! 

I actually had a phone interview today with a recruiter for one of the banks I applied for and she said she will be passing along my info to the branch manager. So, i should expect a call on Thursday from him. I'm hoping the other branch I applied for calls me too because they are a lot closer than the one I just interviewed for. Either way, I'm hoping maybe one of these bank teller positions might be fruitful!

Alan has a friend who's dad is the senior VP of the bank, so she said she'd try to make some calls and help us out. That would be AWESOME!

Fingers crossed!


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## Jerman (Sep 27, 2010)

Good luck Marisa, hope things go your way and real soon! You deserve this to go your way, pulling for you here.


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## DustyKat (Sep 27, 2010)

Oh Marisa I wish you all the luck in the world!!!

:goodluck::goodluck::goodluck:

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed, 
Dusty


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## BWS1982 (Sep 28, 2010)

You live close enough to me that I can hook you up and "virtually" guarantee a full time job at the bank I work at about 20 minutes from your city, but it wouldn't be a teller position. On the positive side, you'd start out making a chunk more than most tellers would start at. It's an "office" environment with a ton of benefits. PM me if you want any more info, Marissa.


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## Manimation (Sep 28, 2010)

Happy theres a thread for this.  I'm in a reverse situation.  Taking care of my girlfriend and the bills while she job hunts.  Goin on 6 months dry so far.  My industry isn't exactly stable but luckily I seem to be able to string together work constantly.  It's stressful lately and I think it's activating some old crohns symptoms.  It was much easier when I just had myself to worry about!  Good luck and I hope that interview pans out!


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## dreamintwilight (Oct 1, 2010)

YAY!!!

I just got offered the bank job!

The HR lady really liked me and told me the second she got off the phone with me on Monday she told the branch manager they needed to move quick if they wanted me, haha!

So, I have until Monday to give them the official yay or nay! Yikes! I can't believe I did it!

Thanks to all who listened to my whine and mope about being unemployed. Your encouragement, support, and advice was really helpful throughout this time. Love you all!


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## DustyKat (Oct 1, 2010)

YIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Great news Marisa! Good on you, I'm so happy for you!

:congratualtions::congratualtions:

Dusty.


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## Crohn's 35 (Oct 1, 2010)

Yay! :banana: !! Congrats!!! Squeaky wheel gets the oil.  Let us know what you decide and how it goes!


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## MapleLeafGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

Way to go!


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## roundtuit (Oct 1, 2010)

:congratualtions::goodluck:
Wahoo!!!


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## Entchen (Oct 1, 2010)

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations to you!!!!!


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## Jerman (Oct 2, 2010)

Fantastic news Marisa! I am so very glad to hear this, I hope that you enjoy every aspect of the position and are happy. Way to tough it out, it was a long road and you did it. As one of your many cyber pals/fans I am very proud of you and happy for you!!!  Whooo Hooooo!!!!!!:medal1:


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## Jim Gonsler (Oct 2, 2010)

*Un-employed too for 4 months but still swinging*

I noticed you are in the same situation as I.  It's not much fun experiencing all the mood swings (mostly low) and asking the question over and over...why me?  As a suggestion...and something I have tried is this:  Take inventory of who you are, what are you good at, and what you most enjoy.  I was told once, that whatever you love doing, you can make money at.  Many times we restrict ourselves far too much, and end up doing what people tell us to do, not what we really want to do.  I've found where I live - in Michigan, jobs are really at a shortage.  So, I've had to look at reinventing myself.  I've been in the work force for several years.  But the field I've been in ...namely technical recruiting, hasn't been doing so well.  A few years ago I decided to get a CDL or commercial drivers license.  This has allowed my to drive buses and limousines.  NOw I'm able to make some extra money doing that on week-ends, for weddings, ball games, night outs etc.  A lot of people are starting out in business too.  It's really amazing at how much easier it is to start a business nowadays than before.  Afterall look at what the internet has provided...e-mail, social networking, online shopping and billing, drop ship shipping.  There is now no need to have to buy and stock pile products, like in the past.  Just don't let yourself get down, there is always a solution just around the corner, if you don't give up.  Just think.
good luck,
Jim


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## Manimation (Oct 6, 2010)

Now that you're working at a bank....can I get a loan?


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## dreamintwilight (Oct 6, 2010)

You're the 2nd person to ask me that, Manimation  I don't handle the loans though, sorry. Haha.


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## Cat-a-Tonic (Oct 6, 2010)

Congrats on the job!  I'm sure you'll do great.    When do you start?


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## dreamintwilight (Oct 6, 2010)

My orientation is slated for the 18th. That's if all my paperwork and background check stuff comes back in time! So, now it's just the waiting game since I filled out the info to start my background check yesterday.

I'm not really looking forward to going to the orientation, to be honest. It's downtown (not used to navigating around by myself) and I have to take the train in for an 8 am orientation. The ride in is an hour and then depending on where the building is, I have to plan time to walk there from the station. Sounds like it's going to be a very early morning...and it's supposedly until 3-4 pm. Yuck! Hopefully it's a one time deal though and the rest of the stuff is at the branch, which is only about a 30 min. drive from my house.

I'm starting to get nervous! I need to buy some comfy flat shoes too. All I have are flip flops and high heels, haha.


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## katiesue1506 (Oct 6, 2010)

Hey Marisa,

My training was for 7 days 8-4 (but we got out early on most days) and I had to drive to Ann Arbor and figure out that city on my own too. I then had one full week of in house training at the branch for a 40 hour work week. After those two weeks I was able to start my part time schedule. When you get into the bulk of the material make sure you really pay attention to check cashing guidelines and verifying the negotiability of a check. I can't tell you how many people get their pay checks and try to cash them a day early. 

I'll also tell you that it takes a while to become comfortable enough with transactions to where you're able to talk with customers and provide good service. Just don't make yourself nervous, if they have to wait, they must wait--- also don't let people bully you by saying "well I do this all the time with the OTHER tellers that know me"... that happens quite a bit too. The number one thing I've learned (at least where I work) is that you have the discretion as to whether you do certain things or not, and if you aren't comfortable putting your job on the line for that one customer or transaction, don't do it. We've had people lose their job over one check...


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## dreamintwilight (Oct 6, 2010)

Yeah, I'm still waiting to hear all the info for orientation and training. I'll probably hear more within the next several days and next week (I'll be in Cali - so I'll be checking my e-mail frequently!) They said the training is on the computer and should take about 2 weeks, but could be less or more depending on how fast I complete the levels. It sounded like the computer training art of it would be at the branch too.

Thanks for all the tips, Katie  It's funny how people get into a routine and anything differing from that is the slightest inconvenience for them. I experienced a lot of that sort of attitude when I first started at Starbucks. "Regulars" would come in and give new people a hard time for not making their drink exactly right (even though it was really perfectly fine) or expecting to get freebies from everyone just because one of their favorite baristas normally gave them an extra shot of espresso or something.

I'm sure I'll have plenty to bug you about when I finally start my training and working with people, haha. It helps that my husband was a bank teller for a short period of time too.


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## Jer's Girl (Oct 7, 2010)

Congratulations Marisa!  Shesh.  So much has happened while I was away!


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## dreamintwilight (Oct 7, 2010)

Thanks, Nicole! Glad it was all good things to have happened while you were away  I've been keeping up with your progress in your thread!

So, I thought I was going to spend the day doing some errands and enjoying the weather, but nooooo...this background check process for my new job has been QUITE the hassle. They are really taking it seriously. I mean...I understand. I would want trustworthy people handling large amounts of cash. But, wow!

I've been searching all over my house looking for old W-2s to verify my employment! I even provided contact info for my past employers (and even spoke to them personally when I had a hard time finding a couple W-2s and was trying to see if they had copies) who said they spoke to the background agency this morning. I don't understand then why I needed to provide more info if they were able to reach my employers?? Sounds like my previous employers aren't keeping up on their responsibilities!

Anywho...I FINALLY found all the W-2s I need. Now it's just a matter of waiting on the agency to approve all my documents. It took me FOREVER to get the agency representative to tell me that PDF format for scanning my documents was acceptable. She kept on reading her script and tell me that "it takes 2-4 hours for the documents to be process..." I understood that part! I just wanted to know if PDF files were okay! Haha. Sheesh...people should listen better.

I'm just a wee bit frantic at this point. I'm going to California next week Monday-Saturday and am hoping all the necessary documentation is received before I leave, since I obviously won't have access to my papers while I'm gone.

That's my rant  Yay, for having a job though!


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## Jerman (Oct 8, 2010)

Congrats Marisa! I am so very happy that this is finally working out for you! Good news, you certainly deserve it. I hope that you really enjoy it and wish you health and happiness my cyber pal.


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