# Help! Coworker responded poorly to me sharing that I have Crohns.



## Olive. (Oct 24, 2013)

Hello! I am completely new to this site. I was diagnosed with Crohns disease in July and am still in a flare. I also started a new job in September and am in serious need of some advice!

My coworker mentioned to me that she was feeling judged in our office about her diet because my boss made a comment about her not eating enough vegetables. She said it "doesn't help" that I eat so healthy. 

In an effort to make her feel less judged I decided to share with her the reason I keep such a specific diet. I told her to please not ever feel judged by me about what she is eating and that I would love to be eating certain things right along side her but I have Crohn's disease and can't eat those foods because it causes ulcers and a lot of pain for me. (I also told her our boss is a dick for feeling its his place to judge her!) However, my coworker has now decided that SHE also has Crohn's disease. 

Literally, she said "I think I have that too! When I eat lettuce my eyes swell!" and now she WILL NOT STOP BRINGING UP OUR SHARED DISEASE! I have tried to explain that her eye situation doesn't really mean she has Crohn's disease but she just insists harder that it is. I'm a firm believer in not judging someone else's feelings about their body but I am struggling to take her seriously. 

She is the first person outside of family or very very close friends that I have shared my disease with. It was a huge mistake! She offered me grapes yesterday and when I said "No thank you I can't eat grapes right now." She said "Really? Thats weird because I can eat grapes." In my head all I could think is "THATS BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE CROHNS DISEASE YOU CRAZY PERSON!" 

When she noticed I was shaking one day (ohhh prednisone) and asked me about it I told her I was on a powerful steroid in the hopes she would understand the seriousness of what I have and stop comparing the two of us. She had the NERVE to say "yeah I think my eyedrops make me actually feel even worse than how you're feeling because they go directly into my eye and aren't a pill." I literally just stared at her. 

I am not one to enter a struggles contest, so I have just been letting her say these things, but she wont stop bringing it up. She has eveen implied that she is stronger than me because she has decided to stop taking her eyedrops and just "work through the pain." I dont even want to talk about it in the first place, I only told her so she wouldnt feel bad about her diet. Now I have created a monster! How do I explain to this person that assuming you have crohns/know what crohns is like is kind of.... obnoxious?


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## Novice (Oct 25, 2013)

Oh wow!!
I dont know how ur dealing with that lol id have put her in her place by now lol.
im sorry I have no advice all I can say is wow...


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## a1000lies (Oct 25, 2013)

That can be pretty frustrating but shes obviously not very bright.  She sounds about as sharp as a spoon.  

It is rough telling people about Crohn's too because many people can downplay it as if its just a "simple tummy ache".  I let everyone know I have Crohn's so I can avoid having to make excuses on why I don't like to commit to plans for certain social situations or vacations. More often than not I feel like shit and don't want to appear flaky to people so I'm normally up front that I could feel great one moment and then be shot for days in bed absolutely miserable.  

I can't even count the times I've had friends say "aw, come on!  Just brush it off, get over it, you'll be fine.  My (insert general problem here) is screwed up and I'm not complaining!  HAVE A BEER IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!" *Sigh...*.   I had another friend last week tell me "Oh I saw a commercial about that.  Big deal, you just need to go to the bathroom a lot.  Big deal.  You're fine." because he wanted me to go camping for a week while I was flaring up.

If I had to work with someone like that every day I'd probably hit her with a brick.  Lol, hang in there though.  Just try and remember shes a clueless idiot.


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## staloffn (Oct 25, 2013)

she has to be due for a colonoscopy then right?  i`d totally convince her she better go have one quickly before its too late! lol


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## mish2575 (Oct 25, 2013)

I'm kind of with Novice.  I would have told her whats what a long time ago.  Actually, I'd probably laugh at her enough that she'd feel silly.

BTW, i have to have eye drops because of my extraintestinal manifistation of episcleritis.  ;D


I, too, am someone who tells anyone that I have Crohn's.  There is another woman at my small company with Crohns and one with UC.


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## afidz (Oct 25, 2013)

Maybe print out a pamphlet or something to explain what Crohn's really is? The way you have explained her reactions its like she almost thinks that you have an allergic reaction to fruits and veggies. (if only that were the case) 
I am at a complete awe of your post. 
BTW. The steroids that are in the drops are minimal. My eye doctor told me that its not even enough to cause side effects most of the time. 
I am sorry you have to deal with this idiot.


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## CrohnsChicago (Oct 25, 2013)

Oh man....this person makes no sense whatsoever. I'm banging my head against the wall for you on this one!

I don't know how you keep a straight face around them (if you even do! ) I would have said something by now. Flat out said you don't have crohn's and ask them if they even know what crohn's is and what it means to have it. Sounds like she's bordering hypochondriac status among other issues. 

I WOULD say challenge them to go to a doctor and ask about crohn's but I feel like that would only lead them to annoy you further with details of the doctor visits....OY! What a situation to be in! 

Another (new) reason why I am VERY cautious about who I tell in the workplace. Trusting faces aren't always sane faces lol.


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## Crohn's gal since 1989 (Oct 25, 2013)

staloffn said:


> she has to be due for a colonoscopy then right?  i`d totally convince her she better go have one quickly before its too late! lol


Love t!  I'm sure she'd drop it after a colonoscopy!:rof:


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## LNS87 (Oct 25, 2013)

This sounds exactly like my drama queen friend I have been dealing with.  Every time I have stomach issues she suddenly does too, and her's always happen to be just a little worse than mine.  I had a flare about a month ago where I was put on a clear liquid diet for a few days then a soft bland diet for awhile and she came to my birthday dinner and made a big deal about how she could only eat graham crackers and applesauce.  I said, my colon is inflamed and I can eat more than that.  I called my GI right away and got on meds to take care of it, she messed around for awhile before even calling her doc and now everytime I talk to her she is trying a new diet or has a new idea of what may be wrong.  Everyone that knows both of us has picked up on it, so we are all thinking it is for attention since she constantly whines to everybody about it.  She doesn't act in a way that is congruent with the symptoms she says she has (and I'm a nurse, so I'm used to working with people that are sick and in pain).  As far as I can tell, the only thing wrong is her craving for attention because she has a hard time not being the center of attention.  

Anyway, point being, I feel your pain in dealing with this type of situation!  It can drive a person CRAZY!


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## Amy2 (Oct 25, 2013)

Say with total sincerity, "Oh no!  It doesn't sound like you have Crohn's but there are a number of mental illnesses you might have."


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## Olive. (Oct 25, 2013)

Hahaha! Some of these responses are priceless. Thank you everyone! I am just happy to know that this is in fact psychotic behavior and not something that i should think is acceptable. Whew! I thought I was the crazy one for a second.


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## Dreamer (Oct 25, 2013)

Thats why we need more IBD education. For the lack of knowledge that people have about it and also an exclusive training for the nurses/doctors to deal with patients with Crohn's disease at the ER. Maybe let her watch this video called "My life with Crohn's Disease (World IBD Day 2012)" by Sara Ringer on youtube. or "Things NOT to say to someone with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis"

Best of luck to you. Wishing you well being and great health.


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## JRZcat (Nov 3, 2013)

staloffn said:


> she has to be due for a colonoscopy then right?  i`d totally convince her she better go have one quickly before its too late! lol


Where is the Like button??


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## Sophia (Nov 3, 2013)

Oh dear, I'm so sorry you have to work with a crazy person like that! Try to ignore her as best you can, although that doesn't seem like the easiest thing to do when you work (closely?) together... Once you're a bit more settled in at work, I'm sure other colleagues will come through to you and let you know that she is annoying them as well... Seems like your boss has already figured her out... Lol..! 

Good luck with the pred and the flare, and hope you feel better soon! Which diet are you on?


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## kiny (Nov 3, 2013)

She's hilarious, but I agree with Dreamer, it's important that more people realise what crohn's disease is so it can get the recognition it needs.


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## PokerFace (Nov 5, 2013)

I honestly sometimes underestimate the capacity some people have for obnoxious stupidity. 

Everyone I have told either knew what it was or asked me to explain so I can't say I've had a similar experience but if I were in your shoes, I would make some stuff up about the disease to scare her...even though the real disease is scary enough O.O


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## gracifer (Nov 5, 2013)

She sounds insanely irritating!!! I even got wound up reading that!


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