# My painful Story



## nativesith

*My painful Story*​       Where do I start?  I am a 37 year old native man of Alberta.  Using the toilet was a nightmare my whole life.

It all started when I was 5.  I remember using the toilet and seeing blood.  Soon after I remember being in the back of a car clutching my stomach.  I had another episode of pain about a year later.  Again when I was 19, that one hospitalized me.  I had a scope when I was 24, and the doc said it was hermeroids and that it did not need surgery.  I remember thinking the whole procedure seemed really rushed.

At 32 I started getting a pain in my side that started to get worse.  This made me question if I could to the work I was doing at the time.  Which I could not do.  So I decided to go back to school.  I was doing all right considering the pain.  But it was getting worse...The pain was constantly there.  Nausea and vomiting  with hot n cold feelings at night and morning.  It got to the point where I was missing too many days at school and vomiting when I was there.  So I was forced to take a year off to find out what this is.  The whole time strong painkillers was all that seemed to help me.

Almost right after school I had another episode.  This one was the worst.  It felt like I was getting skewered with a sword. It felt like I was gonna die right when I woke up.  I went to the ER where they said I had a heart attack?!  They said nothing about my stomach when that was all I was complaining about.  I was sent home with no medication.

After that I was rolling around in pain...could not sleep when I wanted to.
I started to get angry.  When I went to an ER the nurses were joking that I would die before I saw a doctor.  So when went somewhere else...where I was told it was from drinking by another nurse?!  She asked what was wrong.  When I told her she said I drink too much.  I told her I did not drink for over ten years(who would drink when they feel like this?!).  She said I do not believe you.  After that UI said I do not care what you believe in I am here to see a doctor, not to talk to a racist nurse.

Anyway after that I finally seen a real doctor who said I need a scope and colonoscopy. He said I most likely have Crohn's or ulcerative colitis.  He gave me Tylenol 3.  He was not gonna give me anything else.  I asked for the medication he would give to a person with Diverticlosis.  Then he gave me Ciprofloxacin and Metronidazole and booked the Scopes.

I visited the surgeon who said it was again most likely Crohns or ulcerative colitis.  He also said that surgery is a very likely possibility and the surgeries most often have complications(which I do not wnat to think about now).
I now have taken all the anitbotics and feeling a little bit better.  The pain was manageable for a couple days.  Last night I felt like I had a fever, starting aching all over, and I could taste acid.  I awoke feeling pain in my right side and feeling like I wanted to puke.  

Now the pain is in my right side and my family doctor gave me:
Amoxicillin, Ranitidine, and Naproxen.  I taken it and still feel a lot of pain.
Will any of these medications help me? My family doctor is convinced I could 've been working this whole time.  I am soo fed up with him.He said I could/should work now and that I never said anything about this type of illness.  That is all I have been talking  about with doctors for like 5 years?!
Colonoscopy and scope is scheduled for December 27 @ 11:30 am.

Sorry about the length of this post.

I feel scared and hopeless.


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## SarahBear

Hi, welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this for so long.  It's really frustrating, the way doctors and nurses seem to have just ignored your problems. 

I couldn't say for certain whether or not the medications they gave you will help.  Even if they don't seem to, just keep hanging on.  When they do the colonoscopy, they'll hopefully get an idea of what is going on.  When they figure that out, they can give you medication specifically to treat the problem.

Is there a reason why they said surgery would most likely have complications?  I haven't had any surgeries myself, but it seems as if they typically go alright.  Is there some sort of special circumstance?  I'm going to go ahead and link you to the Surgery forum, HERE.  You can read about others' experiences there, if you want to.

I hope things go well for you!


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## David

Hi there and welcome to the community.  Wow, I'm so sorry you've been suffering so long.  That's terrible   I'm glad you're booked for a colonoscopy as I think that's finally going to get you some answers.

One last thing, stop taking the Naproxen.  It is a NSAID and a TERRIBLE idea if you have IBD (which you may).  So get off it NOW.

We're here for you.


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## LisaL

Hi nativesith,
I am sorry that you are feeling so bad...and that you have had such terrible treatment by doctors and nurses.  It frustrates me so much when I hear stories like yours.  I don't have too much more to add right now, except to let you know that I was thinking about you.  The colonoscopy should help with diagnosis...keep us posted as to the results.

Feel better,
Lisa


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## nativesith

When I did take the Naproxen it did feel worse. I feel a constant pain in my left side, just left of my belly button.  The pain varies...like I am getting hit with waves. Using the bathroom feels like I am pooping through a straw.  Feels like it is pushing past something.
When it gets bad I notice I walk with a limp.  I try hard as heck to walk straight and normal but it is hard.
Mornings are the worst!  I awake very early feeling the pain in my side, and most often this the worst time it hurts.  I try to get back to sleep but it is torture. Getting up feels like my whole lower body is sore.  Nausea begins...I get a lot of nose running and saliva build up.  I can not eat anything until late afternoon or the evening.  When I eat solid food I can feel it making it worse, and I burp up the taste of what I ate for days.  I regret almost everything I eat.
When people see me they say I look terrible and that I have lost too much weight.
The surgery...he said even with surgery that I would most likely feel like this for life.  He said that most time they end up infected and take a long time to heal.  Does not sound promising.
Taking Ciprofloxacin and Metronidazole made the pain better or more bearable.   Before that I was rolling around in pain all the time ,the pain was excruciatingly bad and I wanted so bad to escape from it.
I feel real bad for my family who were the only ones who listened to me for so long.  I feel soo bad for my wife...she has had quite a lot to deal with since even being with me.


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## David

I feel for you, I really do.  I think the colonoscopy is going to finally be a step in the right direction for you.  I'm so glad that's coming up.


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## acheallova

Hi natuvesith, welcome to the community.  It might help your wife understand more or vent if she got on here too.
We are here to offer support, listen when you need to vent, help find links for information or just make ya laugh. 
I'm so sorry for all you've been thru. I concur with David, STOP the naproxen. The ranitidine could help minimally depending on how your Scopes turn out you may need to request/ask for something stronger like Nexium® or Protonix® if they find ulcers. The amoxicillin is very minimally effective as it doesn't work well for gastrointestinal issues. The Cipro® and Flagyl® ( metronidizole) are catered to GI issues, thus decreasing some of your pain. If you feel that what your are on is not helping, make another trip to ER for more appropriate meds or call your md and emphasize that the other meds helped and you feel the ones you are taking are not helping you or are making you feel worse.  It is important you feel functional and like your opinion in your own health care treatment matters. B/C IT DOES!! 
I hope you find relief soon and that you get definitive answers so you can start appropriate treatment. 
Best wishes and good luck! 
Thoughts and prayers with you. Keep us posted.-hugs-


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## nativesith

Thanks.
I hope this will get better, I can not imagine it getting any worse.  The levels of pain I have felt is what scares me, I do not know if I can go through that kind of pain again.  I have never felt "functional" since the beginning of the summer.
Most days I feel like doing nothing.  I feel sore and drained of energy.  I am also Anemic , with high blood pressure.  I take b12 and Diovan for both.


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## acheallova

Anytime. Good luck on 27th. Let us know how it goes!


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## nativesith

I will tell everyone what happens that day.  Once I know what this is, I feel like screaming it out for all the world to hear.  Seems like everyone (welfare, school, my band office) needs paperwork from a doctor to believe what I am saying.  What I have been saying forever, which is," I feel like I have a bad disease".


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## acheallova

Stay strong and vocal. Don't back down, let them know you are listening to your body and know you need checked out!!
Good luck. - hugs-


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## nativesith

Past couple days have been rough.  Feel drained and bloated with varying levels of pain.
Using the Toilet seemed really hard to do today. 
I really feel ignored by medical workers of alberta.  How can I believe anything they say?
I do believe in that one doctor, made a appt with him for Jan 4th.
Want to have a discussion about my functionality or lack of it for such a long time.


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## acheallova

That's awesome you have an appointment! Hope all goes well. Keep us updated on how things progress. -hugs-


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## nativesith

Having another bad day...even sitting on a chair is giving me problems.  Anything touches my back gives more discomfort.  
Holds me back from everything.  Held me up from working a good paying job(painter/sandblaster).  Went back to school where I received awards for English and began my post secondary education(2years left).  But that started a downward spiral.  Now I am a game Dev at Psx-Scene.  But I struggle to keep up there as well.  My spirit wants to do soo much...but the body is not able.
Counting the hours til the scopes.
I am also changing my family doctor, I have had enough of him. 
 Looking back at my life I feel cheated.  I know now that this is what I was feeling, and no one seemed to care until now.  When I was a teen I remember all of my fiends harassing me to go out with them. I missed so many days of high school so I was tossed out.  They did not understand and went straight to blaming my problems on drugs and alcohol. I never felt like going out.  This affected my love/social life of which there was very little.  I NEVER feel like going out.  I get a lot of panic attacks when in public places.  It started at school while doing some presentation.  I never tried to get a driver's license.  I always felt I was capable of passing, I just never felt up to going out and being put on the spot.  I always feel like I am going to have a panic attack or mad pain just thinking about it.  
My whole life my friends and loved ones wondered why I did not try.  They have gotten mad about this and even tried forcing me a few times.  My leg is starting to shake.


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## Sybil Vane

Hi Nativesith! I wasn't able to read everyone's posts, but I wanted to ask if your doctor has given you an antispasmotic like bentyl? That helps with the intestinal pain caused by cramping. http://www.rxlist.com/bentyl-drug.htm I take Donnatal and it helps lessen the cramping. I started with Bentyl and it worked, though, to help with the pain. Not all of it, but some of it. Any little bit helps.

I hope you get the answers you need so you can start feeling better soon.


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## nativesith

I was on Ciprofloxacin and Metronidazole for two weeks ,which was the most pain free I ave been in a long time.
IDK I am starting to believe this has  a lot to do with the color of my skin.  Before it all started I was well over 300lbs and built like a brick house.  Back then I used to shave my head.  Since then I lost a lot of weight (I am roughly 200lbs) and I quit cutting my hair.  Right now I am a skinny long haired native man who is subjected to more racism since I look less menacing.  Walking into the hospital I feel like everyone is staring.  Both my wife and I have been accused of being alcoholics which they say is the reason why we have these medical issues.  It is actually worse for my wife, when I am not there it is a bad scene.


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## Hope345

Nativesith,

My heart goes out to you and all that you have been through.  I am so sorry that the doctors did not help you in the beginning.  so many people have been misdiagnosed, before they realize it is Crohns Disease.

It sounds like you have a good GI now that can really help you.  It is important to gain some trust again, and then when you are feeling better, you can do a lot more research on this site and let your body heal.   You are not alone.  So many people on here have had similar experiences or like me, have a child with Crohns. 

One person mentioned getting on an anitspasm medicine.  That sounds like a great idea.  That should give you some relief until the colonoscopy.   

You have been through so much, and you have a right to be mad.  But I also hope that you find all the help you need.  You have been sick for a long time, and now you will get some treatment that will be of great benefit to you.

Try going on the low fiber, or liquid diet for a while.  It might help too.  No popcorn, seeds, spicy foods, no broccolli, or celery.   You will find out what works best for you in the future.  some people can eat more than others without it bothering them, but for now, until you find out what the colonoscopy says, you want to give your colon a rest.

I will be thinking of you and know that you are on the track.  Someone told me once that Crohns patients are like the "walking wounded."    

Julie

P.S.  I think it is a great idea for your wife to be able to do some research on here for you too.  there is so much valuable information and support.


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## nativesith

I am not really eating a lot these days.  I drink a lot of tea. I drink raspberry tea with no sugar. Fruit and some broths(chicken and beef).   Which is helping.  No doctor ever told me it was my stomach until they mentions Crohn's(which was just a few weeks ago).  Until then I had no idea, I was eating everything including sugar.  I did not eat that much, but when I did it was solid food. 
The surgeon asked me not to ingest any seeds two weeks prior to the scopes.  I study the instructions he gave me.  I had to buy Bi PegLyte which was $35.00 for the prep.
More money I do not have.  Creator bless my brother for buying it for me.


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## Sybil Vane

Are there any advocacy groups that you could go to in Alberta that could help advocate for you? I'm sorry you're the victim of discrimination. Maybe an advocacy group could help you, or at least offer some emotional support.


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## nativesith

I ave experienced a lot of racism with in life, too much really.  Alberta is really bad...they do not like come out and say "I am racist".  But the actions and looks is just horrible.  The alcohol thing.  Do they believe every native person has problems with alcohol?  Most judge you just by looking at you.   I seen the way others are treated when a native walks in the attitude changes.  Everyone tolerates and lets this happen.  Many on my reserve are reporting they feel ignored by all doctors in our area.  There was a rally about it two days ago, but it was soo cold I did not want to go.
It is soo cold one of my family members just got pneumonia, and it is bad.  Making things worse.


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## CheerBear12

I can't believe what you've had to go through with the nurses it makes me wonder how they get their jobs when they treat people like that. Angers me so much but I'm glad it's getting sorted now took long enough and good luck keep us posted. I hope they can sort you out soon. Thinking of you.


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## Hope345

You have my support 100 percent!!

Make sure you get a flu and pneumonia shot if you can.
I hope your family members get better soon too.  Pneumonia is nothing to mess with.


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## nativesith

When the quack suspected I had cancer he did one blood test and was satisfied.  Went to school the next day and told my teacher, who is a very cool Caucasian man.  He said when they suspected he had Cancer they did like ten tests on him.  He was the one told me me that our system was racist. He said they obviously do not care when that is what they do for a man who is obviously in a huge amount of pain.  Color of the skin should not matter when the problem in inside any person.


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## Sybil Vane

Wow. That is so incredibly awful I don't know what to say. I am sending you all of my positive vibes and hope for better treatment and a pain-free future. ((Hugs))


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## Tenacity

I am so sorry you have been treated so unfairly. I hope your drs appt and colonoscopy are able to diagnose your illness so you can start proper treatment. Please let us know what happens.


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## nativesith

I even experienced rejection in my own community?! 
We have a Medical Center on reserve with a really good doctor.  I visited her a few times before the receptionist found out exactly who my mother was.  IDK what happened between her and my mother. The first time she held me up was the day my mother drove and escorted me in. Ever since that time she hated me...I went there five times after she found out(Every time I made a appt for 1pm)she made me wait until 4 o'clock every time. After that she said nothing to me...no come back tomorrow at this time or no explanation or anything.  I was extremely upset every time. I tried complaining about her and nothing was done.  She was nice up to that point.
I got mad at my mother for this...I was like.  "If you just stayed in the car mom."  I felt terrible about that and I apologized to my mother.
That doctor was getting close, she told me I was anemic and prescribed b12.
A good doctor I am unable to see over something that happened a long time ago that I had nothing to do with.
I am phoning her boss again tomorrow and making a complaint.  She is just a receptionist(her boss told me the first time I complained), she acts like a nurse.
This is messed up!  I am blocked by a vindictive woman on one hand and I must hear a earful just seeing a doctor on the other.  What did I do to deserve all of this^^^?  I have always tried to live a life with morals.  I never hurt anyone or broke the law.
Do I look intoxicated just because I walk funny and look daze and confused?
It all makes me feel more terrible than I already do.  Trying to make sense of this all, no matter how I look at it I can't.


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## Hope345

Nativsith
Try to keep focused on the people you know can and will help you.  Let the other ones go for now.  It is more important that you get the help you need.    WE can waste a lot of energy on  something or people we cant change.  You just found out you have Crohns and need to focus on getting your medical needs met and start to heal.   

This site is going to give you so much support.  It has been such a life saver for me and many others.  It is like having many brothers, sisters, nurses and doctors that all have Crohns or have children with Crohns or another form of IBD.  I have made many friends that I know I will have for life.  Everyone is here to help.  they can guide you to places for financial help, good diet info.,  how to deal with symptoms or just listen.  

You did not do anything to deserve all of this.  It is just part of the world we live in.  It seems like everything can come crashing down.   I strongly believe in prayer and do not blame anyone, but have trusted the Lord to guide us through it.  

We cant worry about what anyone thinks.  And I have found out we can not change what others think.  We have to get to the point that we just trust in what we do know.  

You also need to know that you did nothing to cause Crohns.   It was nothing you ate, drank or did.  It just happens.  some say it is genetic, some say foods worsen it, some say it is our environment.. but we did not cause it to happen.     They are still working on a cure, but they do not have one yet.  so far, they treat the symptoms the best they can.


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## nativesith

I thank you all for the support in my dark time.
I just wish all I experienced was a lie or nightmare I could wake up from.  But it is all too real.
Feel kinda the same today, but a lil better.  Many family members are going to visit my family member with pneumonia so I have a chance to visit the ER again.
Trying to remember all the advice I was given ere...perhaps I should write it all down.
I am preparing to call the boss of the receptionist.  On the 12th I phoned(used my mom's phone and forgot about call display) there at 11:00am and asked if I could see a doctor.  She said in a upset manner NO!  With no "we have a opening this time or on this day", nothing!  I was shocked and did not know what to say.  After that I was pretty much forced to see my family doctor that day(who gave me Naproxen?!).
However,I have a real good friend that works with her(feel soo sorry for him) and comes to visit me often.  I am going to ask him to find out if the doctor was there on the 12th.  If she was that would prove that she does not want me there.  Why would she lie and at least try to make a future appt, when everyone on the reserve knows she is there on Wednesdays. That is the worst one of em all and I feel something MUST be done about her.   Off reserve ,I may have to hear a earful, but at least I will eventually get to see the doctor.  On reserve, I do not know what the heck is going on.


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## nativesith

Just got back fro the hospital.  Visited the family member and went to the ER.  I told the doctor about the Naproxen, Diovan and my two scopes booked for the 27th.  Told him I was still getting a lot of pain.  He gave me a IV with Buscopan or Bisacidyl(Memory is a lil fuzzy).  Felt better after a while. Sent me home with Buscopan,  Bisacidyl,and Lactulose.  He said if the pain gets bad to come back.  He said the Xray revealed I am extremely constipated, which is why he gave me laxatives(even a rectal suppository, scary). It was weird barely anyone was at the hospital and they were bending over backwards for me.  Feeling better and it is really because of you all, thank you!


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## David

I'm pleased you're doing a bit better   I hope it continues to get better for you!


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## Sean B

I'm so sorry to hear your plight - not only suffering for such a long time without diagnosis, but to have been subjected to racism and accused of drug/drink problems, my God!
Firstly I hope the colonoscopy shows what's wrong - they'll take a biopsy to see what's going on. It really does sound like an inflammatory bowel disease.

It took 15 years and a perforated small intestine for the medical profession to find my problem (Crohn's) and I had to have surgery at that point. It's only been a month, I've lost loads of weight, but I'm now pain free and gaining it back each day, and that's how you'll have to take it. Day by Day.

I recommend surgery if it's required - with today's medication it might not be needed, but if your insides are damaged, get it done. You'll be a new man!

Good luck, keep us posted on how it goes I'm rooting for you.


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## Hope345

Great to hear!!!  We are all thinking of you and keep us updated.


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## CheerBear12

Glad your feeling a little better hope it gets better and better for you keep us posted on how it goes


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## nativesith

Well...Did everything I was prescribed.  Biscodyl was kinda scary. It was burning.  I did have a movement with no blood.  But when it was moving I had pain.  I really had to slow it down.  Felt like I was starting to break out in a sweat and my heart started racing.  Extrememly constipated I feel more should ve came out.
After wards I felt very gassy(and still do).  This gas sounds loud(when coming out) but does not smell.  Kinda scared of trying that again.  I feel a lil better(painwise)but the gassy/bloated feeling is really bad today, lil bit nausous and burping a lot.
Eating...eating simply scares me now.  I am always thinking how is this gonna make me feel?  There is a Community Holiday dinner today.  I am so missing those kind of food.  But every holiday dinner in the past was often was of my worst times.  Christmases, Thanksgivings,etc. was when the all the symptoms got worse.  I do not know what to do on those days...sometimes I feel like I offend the people cooking it(something that comes from my native culture).
I do not know if I want to eat today or on Christmas. 
Yesterday I ate steamed carrots and chicken with a lil potato. Was not very much, finished about half of plate which my brother bought for me at the hospital cafeteria.  I felt guilty cuz I could not eat all the food that he bought for me.  And these hospital portions are small(which he pointed out).  But he understands more than any family member.  He is going through gall bladder problems right now and he is seeing the same surgeon.


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## Hope345

maybe tomorrow will be better....
Once you are healed, you may get to eat more.
thinking of you...


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## nativesith

Thanks you angel, I am having some tea(no sugar).  Did ja hear that duck? 
:lol: Soo much gas it's embarrassing. No matter how I feel I always try to make a joke once in a while.


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## nativesith

Well I tried the Biscodyl again, big mistake.  I took it and this time I held it for and hour.  Painful movements with a lot of gas with no smell.  After I felt a lil better and had a lil plate of potatoes to see how it would go down.  It went straight through me.  With in minutes I was back on the toilet.  There was blood at the end.  Now I ave a lot of gas and discomfort.  Soo much gas it feels like I need to use the toilet but nothing comes out but gas.  I am scared of straining too hard because of the bleeding.
Scared of the surgeon not finding anything on the 27th.  I just had a xray(like two days ago) on the part of my stomach where the pain was located and they seen nothing but constipation.  Seems like I had a million  Xrays, CT's blood and urine tests,Ecg's, etc. which proved nothing.  All that was proved now is that I have artheritus in my lower back(which I ave never felt since I started getting the side pain),Anemic with some b12 and iron deficiencies, with high blood pressure.


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## Hope345

If you  have Crohns, it will be good if you are not inflamed, so dont be scared of that.  It will be good for them to see if you have any problems they can identify that the Crohns may be causing you.
My daughter still gets pain and bleeding when the inflammation is very minimal.  Crohns can be very complicated.      No matter what, find out what the colonoscopy tells them, and go from there.   You may not know all of the right questions to ask yet, but as time goes by you will.   There are also many types of symptoms, depending on the location.   They have many medications, and once you find out your results, you can start researching your options.

I dont want to give you too much information.  It is a lot to absorb.   You sound like you are trying your best to have a good attitude.  There are so many people on this site that you would love.  They deal with so much and still manage to see the brighter side of life.


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## nativesith

I was beginning to think I was feeling better today, until now.  I was walking almost normal, felt almost no nauseousness all day.  
Now I feel the pressure building up and pain beginning in the left side again.  Tried using the toilet and nothing but a bit of blood, did not want to push it too hard.
I have been pushing off shopping and that is something I can no longer ignore.  Sick er not I will ave to go out soon.


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## Hope345

Hope it goes well.  Keep near a bathroom just in case.  It will be good to get your results so you can start on some medications to help you with pain and bleeding.
let us know how it goes.


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## nativesith

Sometimes I feel like music is the only thing that will save me.  Music of my people.  Even the music of today.  "Titanium" by David Guetta ft Sia and Swedish House Mafia "Don't you worry child" always make me feel better. 
5 days to go!  Stopped taking strong pain killers(opiates)and Diovan, just on Buscopan.  I will not let this beat me!
I am titanium!


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## CheerBear12

Hope it goes well and keep us posted


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## Hope345

Music is healing.  
You are doing amazing and  have all of our support. 
Use a hot pad, sitz bath, Chamomile tea to help with pain if needed.
Go Titanium


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## nativesith

I actually had a big cup of blueberry tea, and just recently chicken broth.
And thanks for the info on the sitz bath, pondering that one now.


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## acheallova

Keep pushing threw native,
Son you will be tested and hopefully get started on a treatment that provides you with relief. Good'luck!!


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## nativesith

I hope you do not think the worst of me when I say this ...but.
I use Marijuana(look at my avatar! :lol.
I feel like marijuana saved my life.  I have been using it medicinally since this started.  When I told my doctor about it he said he wanted to call the POLICE?!  It makes me feel like eating when I do not.  It makes the pain less than it was before(especially my joints, no pun intended).  I feel like I need it everyday to help get over this.  I spend a lot of the little money I do ave on it.  Are there any type of strains that would be better than others?
I just wanna thank everyone for all your help.  Feel like you are all my guardian angels watching out for me.  Before I met the doctor who saw the signs of Crohn's and I came ere was the darkest time in my life.  I was in constant PAIN and it was looking really hopeless. I am sad to say I was contemplating suicide a lot back then.  But I ave found you all and I see a light that will come into my life on the 27th and I will get better.
Merry Christmas my angels, 
I love you all soo much!


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## CheerBear12

Merry Christmas to you hope you have a fab one and don't let the 27th spoil your day but keep us posted on how you get on. Hopefully they will treat it and get you in remission. Good luck thinking of you. Hope they put you on humira I've heard loads of good things about that drug.


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## nativesith

I am thinking of Christmas day dinner.  Should I try not to eat as much seeing as this procedure on the 27 I am concerned about how much material is in my stomach that I must clean out before that day.  Will the Bi Peglyte in tablets and liquid(1 liter) totally empty it on the 26th?
I really want to try enjoy my Christmas and at least try not to think about this that day.  I prey we all can eat something that day.
That medication sounds soo good to me right now.


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## CheerBear12

I would eat little and often just incase and I presume it will but not sure coz I didn't need to have it. Sorry I can't be more helpful but I hope it goes well for you. Keep us posted. Can't stop thinking about Christmas dinner now hope you get everything you want and more.


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## Tenacity

If I were you I would try to eat the Xmas lunch as early as possible - although I think you will be just fine.

I am just blown away that your doctor wanted to call the police when you told him about the marijuana and the relief it brings you lol!  Just goes to show how completely out of touch some doctors are!!

Hope you and your family have a wonderful and joyous Xmas!  Hang in there!


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## acheallova

Rule of thumb is to eat lightly 1-2 days prior but as long as you " snack" all day Christmas and then clear liquids on 26th before starting prep you should do great. I'll find a helpful link for you to check out on prep procedures


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## acheallova

http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?t=44105
Check out this link for tips-god luck-hugs-


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## Ya noy

nativesith said:


> *My painful Story*​
> Now the pain is in my right side and my family doctor gave me:
> Amoxicillin, Ranitidine, and Naproxen.  I taken it and still feel a lot of pain.
> Will any of these medications help me? My family doctor is convinced I could 've been working this whole time.  I am soo fed up with him.He said I could/should work now and that I never said anything about this type of illness.  That is all I have been talking  about with doctors for like 5 years?!
> Colonoscopy and scope is scheduled for December 27 @ 11:30 am.
> 
> Sorry about the length of this post.
> 
> I feel scared and hopeless.


Hope you don't work in a job that performs random drug tests because Ranitidine has been known to result in false positives--for meth!  

Rantidine is more for stomach reflux, and is sold "over the counter" as Zantac. 

Amoxicillin is an antibiotic, penicillin based, but causes less allergic reactions.  Kills bacteria, but unfortunately, kills the good bacteria along with the bad, which can leave your digestive system in even worse shape. 

Naproxen is a pain killer, also sold "over the counter", similar to, and about as effective as aspirin.  

I'd get a new doctor.


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## nativesith

I know now that everything he gave me was making everything worse.  I am not only getting a new doctor I am pondering about taking legal action on this.  I honestly feel like he does not care at all and he was trying to kill me.  I went through this nightmare because of him.  I put my life in his hands since I was a child. I believe there is a conspiracy in Canada.  It has to do with the government and their treatment of my people. For years they ave tried to wipe us out.  It is still going on. It may not be like it was back then...now it is like this.  We are ignored and pushed aside.
Soo much hate...all about $ and taxes.  Since my people are excluded from paying taxes we get hated on by everyone who does.


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## CheerBear12

It makes me wonder how some people manage to get jobs as doctors:O I can't believe how he has treated you. He should be stroke off wonder if he treats others like this.. I'd concentrate on the people that actually want to help you get better and treat you properly. Thinking of you good luck for 27th and don't forget to let us know.


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## acheallova

Merry Christmas all!  Hope everything goes well on 27th native. -hugs-


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## nativesith

Well tomorrow is the big day...
I ave taken the 3 tablets and the first solution(tasted horrible).
Yesterday went well, I had very little discomfort.  Actually ate something yesterday.
Now I ave to empty the contents of my stomach.


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## Ya noy

nativesith said:


> I know now that everything he gave me was making everything worse.  I am not only getting a new doctor I am pondering about taking legal action on this.  I honestly feel like he does not care at all and he was trying to kill me.  I went through this nightmare because of him.  I put my life in his hands since I was a child. I believe there is a conspiracy in Canada.  It has to do with the government and their treatment of my people. For years they ave tried to wipe us out.  It is still going on. It may not be like it was back then...now it is like this.  We are ignored and pushed aside.
> Soo much hate...all about $ and taxes.  Since my people are excluded from paying taxes we get hated on by everyone who does.



Still amazes me how few seem to be aware of the exploitation and wide spread  genocide of the indigenious native people by the church and state during the colonization of Canada.  Where estimates range between 60,000 to over 90,000 native children taken from their homes, to be abused, tortured and murdered in the"residential schools" (ie., death camps) of what's been termed "The Canadian Holocaust".  

You probably only feel there's a conspiracy against you because there is!  

Hope you feel better soon


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## Tenacity

I had no idea about any of this and will definitely do some reading up to educate myself. That sounds awful!

I wish you well for tomorrow. Please let us know what happens!


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## CheerBear12

Good luck hope it goes well keep us posted thinking of you x


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## Hope345

It will go fine tomorrow. I am sure they told you, the cleaner you are the better they can see your colon. You will sleep through it and then they will let you know the results.  Have someone with you taking notes, because you will not remember anything after you wake up for at least an hour or two.   

Wishing you the best.


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## nativesith

I was feeling good til the Bi Peglyte.  At first all went as expected...but then there was blood.  A lot of it.  Now I feel  pressure building ,getting hot n sore and what lil energy I had is gone.


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## Hope345

What do you think is happening?  Is there so much blood that you need to go to the ER?
It sounds like the medication or removal of stool irritated the Crohns and caused more bleeding.   You could be weak from low blood sugar if you have not lost a large amount of blood.

My daughter often has a toilet full of blood, it is hard to tell exactly how much.  It is important you have your colonoscopy.    

You could also be allergic to that product.  I have read some people are.


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## nativesith

Think I will be alright.  Pain is coming back.
Almost 12 hrs to go.  I can make it.


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## nativesith

Just got back and I am in pain!  OMG!
Tests revealed two hermeroids (both the size of my thumb that caused major bleeding, he closed em)they totally blocked it!  There was alot of external/internal bleeding from them.  Three pasts of my stomach were badly inflamed(which he took biopies of each).  Wants me to come back in 3 weeks. Gave me tylenol # 3 , just took a handful.


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## CheerBear12

Aww hope the pain goes away soon and thanks for letting us know. What they going to do in three weeks?


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## nativesith

Biop test results from the 3 inflamed parts of my stomach. Ifeel really afraid of using the toilet now, I do not want these re opening.  Could the blockage caused by these give my stomach inflammation?  Does this still look like Crohn's?
Or do I ave to wait and see? Any advice on using the toilet without straining really hard? I ave not ate anything for over 24hrs, and I do not feel like eating anytime soon.  They say two weeks for the roids to heal. This is messed up...I never felt pain in my bum.  It is in my stomach, I feel it now(more since I ave taken All these Laxatives).  Laxatives make the bleeding /pressure worse.  They cleaned me out yesterday...but after the blood came(something I informed them of before the procedure).  Everything I read says something about cancer, if there was a chance of that ....why would they not ell me?
Felt really bad since the bi peglyte...a lot of pain and fighting for sleep all night.


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## CheerBear12

I'm not sure I've been diagnosed with indeterminate colitis so they don't know what mine is but I don't know from what you've said sorry I can't be more helpful but let us know when you find outi would try and eat something though even if its just toast. Hope pain goes soon was thinking of you today and wondering how you got on


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## Hope345

I am sorry to hear about all the pain you are in.
Can you have something like Ensure which will give you the nutrients you need without causing bowel problems?   Hopefully within 24 hours without having a bm will give you some relief.  Try the sitz (Epsom salts) bath)       
I wish I could give you more information.  Search for relief from hemorrhoids.
You should be able to find out the results from the biopsies sooner than the 3 weeks.  I was thinking we got our results the same day but I cant remember for sure.

Rest!!!   Lay on a hot pad as long as that wont irritate hemorrhoids.  I know it helps for Crohns.

thinking of you


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## nativesith

They were talking a lot an I was in major pain and confused.  My mother was there but she is a simple old native woman(everything they said confused her).  They would not let her in the operating room.  I do remember them saying they had a lot of these recently and that is the reason why it is going to take three weeks for testing.
They also said they think I ave the highest tolerance for the anesthetic that they seen.  Usually they said a patient will not come to until they are in recovery(er least when they are getting wheeled out). I awoke right when the scope came out(which surprised em all) but that is something I do not remember.  I remember being in recovery and trying to talk to the doctor/nurses. They took four samples of the stomach, three form the inflamed parts and one from the large intestine.  I am sure they will do the tests before then,I probably will get a call before the three weeks is up.

Few hours later and I am starting to feel a lil better...might try to eat something(liquid?).


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## Hope345

I am glad you are feeling better.  Wow, I bet you did surprise them when you woke up in the procedure room....  

Keep us informed of your results.  It will be good to find out for sure.   
What a great mom for being there.  It sounds like you have a very supportive family 

take care


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## nativesith

I did try to eat some toast...it seemed all right.  Until it hit the spot(left side of belly button)and the pain cramping became worse.  I am going back on a strictly liquid diet again.   I am afraid of passing gas er using the toiletoo:.  Do not want to reopen these things.  Did not feel the pain was bad before the Bi Peglyte, then the procedure.  Think its going to be another rough night of fighting for sleep.  Last night I woke up aboot four times.


----------



## Hope345

Good idea, at least for a couple of days.  Maybe then slowly introduce small amounts.

Have you checked out Gianni's (a member on the Crohns forum) juicing?  He swears by it.   He gets all of his nutrients in the juices he makes.  Plus NO poo - lol.


----------



## nativesith

I was thinkin of a juicer .
You know....I wanted to believe my problems were all from the hemorrhoids.  After eating , feeling the pain in that area(obviously where the inflammation is located er centered),stomach making loud sounds, bloated and cramping feelings I know this to be more.  There is something definitely wrong with my stomach.


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## CheerBear12

Glad you tried some toast but I'm sorry you were in pain hopefully they will get your results bk sooner than 3 weeks and can be treated. Hopefully the pain will go away soon. Try soup that might be better. Keep us posted plz thinking of you and keep us posted in how your doing as well.


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## Hope345

I hope it is the hemorrhoids too.  But whatever comes your way, at least you will know and can deal with it.  You are on the right path.  Just go easy on yourself, but make sure you get the nutrients your body needs as well.

I think sleep is an important part of healing too...   and rest.


----------



## nativesith

I feel like using the toilet is easier.  However,   putting anything in my stomach makes it upset(causing bloating,pain,cramping and diahreha felt this all day).  Lying down I can feel the pain more.
Does any one ere get like toothaches in the evening and in the morning its gone?
This keeps happening to me once like every 1 to 2 weeks.
Also rashes...got  rashes behind my right knee and on my back that will not go away.  Now it seems like I am getting some on my scalp. That happened before and it actually caused bald spots.  That started when I was five, two spots like right behind the ear.  first they get like all built up with like a layer of dandruff.  Then the hair is gone.  That caused me great pain, I had braids which I had to cut off.  My hair is almost long enough for braids now...and I might ave to cut it off!
Sleep is soo hard!  Can not get comfortable...always get pain lying on any position.  I must move every few minutes just to ease the pain of it and it starts all over again.  Some nights are worse than others.  Is this restless legs er what?
Anyone experience this?
Still waiting for answers...like three weeks of waiting now .  I ave waited for soo long.


----------



## CheerBear12

I feel for you I really do so sorry you have to go through this wish I could take pain away I really do. Before I had my op I was in hospital for 2 days short of six weeks. I was in so much pain with my stomach the only position I could lie in was on my back. I ended up with sores on my legs and bum coz of that. But it took a while before I was comfortable lying on my side. I was 3 months post op before I tried it was so painful. I had my whole bowel removed for crohns/ulcerative colitis. I'm not sure about your hair tho mine fell out loads after my op nearly chopped it off but it's slowly growing bk now and getting thicker slowly. The only thing stopping me chopping it off is that I'm growing it.. Looks awful thicker at top and really thin at bottom looks like I've had it really thinned out. I don't know what to do about it. Will take yrs to get bk too normal. Think it was too do with stress, medication and what I was going through. Hopefully it won't happen again after they operate in may.. Certainly hope not but we'll see.. Hope it is hemerroids too but whatever it is they'll be able too treat and we'll be here too support you.


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## Hope345

I wish I could help too.  Feel helpless.
Do some research on here for Hemorrhoid relief.     Also, try Melatonin to help you sleep, it is otc and not very expensive.    

I have restless leg syndrome and it is not painful, just a feeling that the blood is cut off in leg and you have to move it.  Stretching and sometimes potassium helps with that.  I think it has to do with poor circulation, or something pressing on the spine.

You are probably stressed out, tired and your body is working hard to heal itself.  The meds could also play apart in hair loss.  Just remember that once you are truly diagnosed they can start treating you.   the hemorrhoids will heal eventually.  I know they have topical creams to bring some relief if any are visible.  No lifting, pushing, or straining as they can all aggravate hemorrhoids.

the treatment for Crohns will depend on your location.  Here you are started on a mild anti-inflammatory (prescription only), and possibly prednisone.  If you respond well, that may be all you need.  The other meds come into play if you dont respond to them.

I have recently been reading that crohns is complicated/started by a bacteria.    Many treatments are based on this theory.     You can look into all of that later.   for now, the main thing is getting relief from the pain and sleep.

take care.


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## acheallova

I do hope they give you a call back b4 3 weeks. It'll be a great relief for you knowing- then being able to treat. 
So sorry for the pain, never fun. Stay with a heating pad/water bottle to help with some pain relief. Even sleeping on one can help relax the body. I also agree with the sitz bath UNLESS you were instructed otherwise for first 48 hours d/t infection causes. 
I would not let the word of cancer scare you, not saying that not a tough disease, but with crohns/UC or other inflammatory diseases- cancer is discussed a lot. That is usually most people's first question- do i have increase in cancer b/c of this...... there is a cancer related statistic to ever disease unfortunately,  and they will surely let you know everything when they have results.  They don't want to go off saying things that may not be true. 
I would stay on liquids, for few days, easier on system and gives it a rest or look up the suggested juicing BUT right now the best thing you can do for yourself, is try to de-stress and rest. Give the mind and body a break.  It's not as if worrying about the tests will complete them any faster. So sorry you have to wait, it is a stressful nightmare!  
Best of luck to you. Thoughts n prayers. -hugs-


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## nativesith

Actually Slept last night. Awoke with the pain in my left side.  Seems like my legs are better today.  Issues still arising from stomach(Bloating,cramping, pain)using the toilet is getting easier.   Using a Heating Pad is a great idea((ave like 3).  Sound like there is a rumble in my stomach 24/7.  I feel like that guy from UFC and BOXing is sayin..."Lets get ready to RUMBLE!", when I get up everyday.


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## acheallova

Hoping the rumblings get better for you! -hugs-


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## nativesith

25 mins to new year (mountain time), I know this year will be better for me with you all in my life.
Some heavy resolutions I must stick to this year, really life changing.


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## Hope345

Happy New year!!!!!    Love to you and your wife!!!


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## CheerBear12

Happy new year xx


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## acheallova

You're strong native, you can do it!! Happy new year.-hugs-


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## CheerBear12

Your stronger than you think and have our support no matter what thinking of you


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## Gabi

Hi
I was talking to you previously on the chat some time back- not sure when things are fuzzy. I'm in the same boat as yourself and hearing about your suffering makes me so sad. You are doing so well to cope this far and it proves your strength of character. I hope you get results soon. 
Keep your eyes on your higher power


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## nativesith

Thanks to all of you. Your support means a lot to me.   It is hard...the minute I think I am feelin better it is like I punch in the gut.  Glad all the holiday dinners are over...felt like pressure to eat(even though no one was). 
Outta all the past five holiday seasons...this one was the least painful.  Thanks to all of you.   Tomorrow is the visit with the doctor that finally listened to me and booked the scopes.  I told em about my family doctor and his ignorement of me.  Now I am going there and telling him all the medications he gave me were making everything worse.  He refuses to help me and is trying to hurt me.
I am asking him to become my family doctor.  I am begging him.  I feel no other doctor will listen er has some issue with native people.  I went through enough and I need his help now.


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## nativesith

I made the appt...it went very well.  Something I am not used too lol.  He agrees that I or anyone else should not have to be subjected to racism in any situation in a hospital or Medical setting.  He agreed to become my doctor.  He agreed my old doctor was not doing his job.  He agreed signing my income support papers,which will give me a few extra dollars as well as make the workers stop trying to get me to do programs or work.  I have not been functioning very well for a long time and he knows I needed this.
He said he talked to the surgeon and they both believe this is Crohn's.  However we must wait for the results...then the treatment will finally begin.
I love this man..why did it take soo long to find him?


----------



## Hope345

I am so glad you will be getting the treatment and respect that you and each person deserves.   Let us know when your final results are in.     Has the doctor said what type of treatment he recommends or are you both still waiting for the results?    
Take care and wishing the best.


----------



## nativesith

No...he was mainly listening to what I was saying.
I am reading the Medical Release/Report he filled out today.  It scares me, he sees more than I.
I can not make out his hand writing(big surprise eh?Can na read a doctors handwriting...where have I heard that before?) But it states I have two severe health problems.  With treatment(at this time time you understand)the condition is unpredictable.  I am not able to undertake any type of work. I am NOT medically fit for work now.
*Limitations*(OMG?!):
Severely limited Standing,Sitting,Bending,Walking, Using stairs. I am on a special liquid diet.

How could he see all of this? He is amazing! 
That other quack could na see anything?!  Last time I visited him he said I should and could be working now and this whole time.  He also said even if I have Crohns or UC he will na sign any medical release for me.  I feel like he brainwashed me into believing that for soo long.
I do not know what to think anymore...all I know is how I feel now. Now I feel pain  and achy all over, knee is pretty bad making me walk all messed up.
 But I feel it is somewhat manageable.
Thanks for listening and I will always let you all know how I feel and what are my results,two weeks to go.


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## Hope345

Don't be scared.  the doctor is wording it in a way that will get the response that you need from your government.  He is probably referring to the Crohns and the hemorrhoids and possibly your knee (all which make you unhealthy and unable to work).   this doctor is doing all he can to get you in  a place where you can heal and be treated.   It is good .   

I know you still have a long ways to go with your future treatments.  It will somewhat depend on the location of your Crohns.   It is good you are on the all liquid diet.       

 Julie


----------



## CheerBear12

I'm glad it's going in the right direction now and you have got a diagnosis tho you need to wait for results to confirm it. He sounds like he knows what he's doing. Fingers crossed you'll be sorted soon. Good vibes going your way keep us updated.


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## TracieD

Hi Nativesith,

I also believe that you have Crohn's. On 11/21, I went to the ER with my 20yr old son. They did a CTScan and discovered an abscess had formed outside his small intestine with a fistula (hole in intestine). The abscess was full of infection and he was expressing all the same symptoms you have...(feeling like he was being stabbed or something was eating him from the inside-out). He did not have a fever, but over the course of the previous 6 months had lost nearly 50 lbs and vomited multiple times daily. There would be days where he would be better and then ultimately, it got the best of him when I found him in bed unable to move. That's when we went to the ER. They placed a drain in the abscess and released him from the hospital after they felt it was emptied. On the day he was to follow-up with the GI doc...we had to go back to the ER. The abscess came back and was bigger than before. They placed another drain in his stomach and he layed for a week in the hospital before they found us (me and him) in the bathroom. I was holding him on the toilet so he wouldn't fall and he was having me pour ice water over his head so he wouldn't puke all the while I was fanning him with the cards he had received from family and crying because of his agony and my helplessness. They had him in surgery within 2 hours after the surgeon came to check on him and found us like that. The surgery went well and he was officially diagnosed with Crohn's. The recovery was rough, but he made it thru and we are home now. It has only been a little more than 3 weeks since the surgery and he seems to be doing well for now.

If you have returning pain, do not igore it. Go back to the ER and ask for a CTScan to look for cause of pain.

Good luck and remember you are not alone!
Tracie


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## nativesith

Well...still feelin this.  Pain in both sides more in the back area.  Sitting is hard.  
I forgot to say when i visited the doctor he checked my blood pressure and it was high.  So instead of Diovan, he gave me AAP-NIFED to try.  Did use the toilet with less pain then before.  But I still feel bloating , cramps and pain.  I know my pain tolerance is much higher than others.  What I think is mild I am sure others would consider moderate er severe.  Unless the pain gets to 8 + then I will go to the ER.   So ard na to think about when the pain is constantly nagging me.
I will get there...I know it is not long.  Jus gotta get over this next 12 days.
This has really ruined my life real bad last year.  I did na want to go out anywhere(which really was a life long feelin that intensified last year).  Made promises to my family I rarely kept.  Feel like I am stuck in my house because of this.  With my wife I feel I must force myself to get into the mood.  She does na pressure me at all, it is more from myself.  
The doctor asked me to think back about this all.  I replied it is hard to remember when the pain blinded me for soo long.  It was all i could think about for months, I did not even notice my limp for the longest time.
Feel like this drove me crazy.


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## Hope345

Sorry to hear the pain is still so bad.  Get out that hot pad.
Is there anyway the current doctor can start you on Prednisone?   can you call your GI back and tell him tomorrow about the pain you are in?     
My daughter was at 8-10's for a couple of months.  It was terrible.  The Prednisone did provide relief until the other meds finally started working.     It is a process, well at least it was for us.   It has taken almost a year for her to become pain free and stop bleeding.   I dont want to discourage you, because each person is different.  some can respond very quickly to the medicines.

Also, Tylenol is something most people can still take, as long as you eat something with it (a cracker)

Sometimes the pain is from the intestines contracting, but your results will get you on the right track with your medications.    thinking of you.
Julie


----------



## nativesith

Just got the heating pad out lol.  I am on tylenol with a lil bit o food.  I ave na ate much the past few.  Messed up feelin when everyone says I look skinny.  My stomach feels large.  Noticed one day it was bloated badly on my left side it was protruding ,next day it was the right.  Doc suspects it is trapped gas that made it do that.
My people are protesting all over Canada.  I know I am part of it all. I ave felt the effects of cut to our medical costs.  My people suffer from a 90% unemployment rate.  They make decisions for us without consulting us. My mother is a residential school survivor, which lead to a wack load of problems(like Alcoholism, depression,etc).  She had me at early age and she herself admitted to not know how to deal with my medical problem and the medical community. It took too long to find a doctor who would listen to a native person in central alberta.  Happened to me, scares me to think of others going through what some like my wife and I experienced.
Sorry for going off topic, but I feel strongly about this.


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## Hope345

Bloating:  If it is gas, one thing the doctor said was not to chew gum, and I notice our daughter gets bloated from pop.   It seems certain foods  can cause it too.  Of course beans and broccoli you would want to avoid for now, which you probably are.

I hope it all works out for you with your treatments.   Your mom was probably like me, and didnt realize what it was. or how serious.   
regarding your health care: Sometimes people have to stand up for their rights, if it is necessary.    I wish you all the best in that situation.  
julie


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## nativesith

I do na eat beans er broccoli.  I did try some gum and clear pop in the past couple days(which I am steering clear from now as well as the foods I was eating then).
Mt family and I had no idea what Crohn's was until after the doc suggested I had it. I ave had other doctors puzzled thinkin it was something else all together(arteritus,cancer,psondalosis, list goes on). None suggested it was the stomach and none ever said to change diet until now.
Xrays(on hips and legs) n Ultrasound(on the stomach) booked for the 10th.
Pretty sure I need a knee brace now for my right side.  Feels like it wants to give out(it moves in the opposite direction,like it overextends). ANYTIME I walk it does that twitching backward, it is embarrassing when this has been going on for a long time.


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## Hope345

Dont be embarrassed, when you dont feel well, it is  not easy  to see what to do or what is going on.     Just know you are doing now what needs to be done for yourself and you have lots of support 

I am sorry about your leg.   It will be good to get all of the xrays and ultrasound done too.      

You have come a long way in a short time!!!


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## nativesith

Feels like I ran a marathon...sides hurt...body aching.  Rough shape ...but I am beginning to see the line.  Once I hit that line I will rejoice!


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## nativesith

Went to my appt for xray n ultrasound today.  Went all right I guess.
Tried handing in my medical release to the welfare workers in the band office.  They had a problem with the way my new doctor filled it out.  So I  must wait longer for that.
Frustrating ...they do not know this kind of pain and they do na know how hard it is to actually leave my house.
Day of the scopes I was soo drowsey I do na remember much(even the appt I made).  I found my appt. slip which says Jan 16th 1:30 pm.  Less than a week now!


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## CheerBear12

Good luck and keep us posted its a shame about the medical release but hopefully it won't be too long


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## Sarah50

Nativesith,

I've read through your posts - I'm so sorry you've had to deal with such horrific racism!  It makes me sick!!!  I'm very happy that you found a wonderful doctor, someone that listens to you and is helping you!!!  I'm thrilled for you to be finding out the results next week... finally, after all you've been through!  

My symptoms were very bad pain in my lower right abdomen, loss of apetite, night sweats, fatigue.  Before I was diagnosed with Crohn's, I noticed that when the pain was bad, I felt better if I quit eating that day and just drank water or had a protein drink and that's it.  Once I was diagnosed with crohn's, they put me on a "low residue diet" and medication called Asacol.  Between the two, the pain and all other symptoms have gone away (it's been over a month with no pain!)  I'm still on this diet and will continue indefinitely until I see the doctor and dietition again.  I don't know if this will help you but the "low residue diet" slows down and is easy on the digestion - which I believe helped take the pain away.  Here's a link to what's allowed (left column) and what you should stay away from (right column)... maybe try it for a couple of days and see if it helps you.  One thing I did on my own is I bought lactose-free milk, just incase I had become intolerant to it.  

http://uvahealth.com/services/digestive-health/images-and-docs/Low_fiber_Low_residue_diet_3.pdf

You hang in there and know that you have lots of support on this forum!  We'll be thrilled for you when you know what you have and are on a program of healing!


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## nativesith

Feel like this robbed me of my life.  My life...what life?  I have lived shut inside feeling pain in my stomach.  Scared of what might happen in public. Why me?
If I did na have this within my lifetime I know I would have had some kind of normal life.  This...this is not normal. 
I do so much work with technology.  Computers, game systems(Wii,Ps3,Psp,DS,etc.)PA systems, satellite Dishes I have done work with all on my own.  I am a Moderator at Psx-Scene.  I am the leader of the GTA IV mod team there.
This is my forum.
http://psx-scene.com/forums/grand-theft-auto-iv/
This is what I do everyday, learning C++.  It is my dream to write and make my own games.
But this...gets in the way.
 I know this is bad, still feel the same and saw blood and clotty kinda stuff last night.  Felt exhausted after. Feel scared...thinkin surgery.


----------



## nativesith

The receptionist of the Surgeon's office (who took the biopsy)phoned today to confirm the appt tomorrow.  1:30pm tomorrow.
IDK how to feel about it.  I do na know if I should prey they find nothing , er prey they found something.

In  one hour I hope to ave the answer I waited for my whole life.  What was makin me feel pain since I was five.  Scary...I just know they are gonna cut out part of my stomach.


----------



## nativesith

Well that did na go at all the way I expected.  I know this surgeon is part of all this Alberta BS now.
He said the tests proved nothing.  I was shocked.  I told em that I still feel pain, constipated,bloating, still seeing blood(seen it yesterday!? it was kinda mucus y).  Upset me soo much...the scopes were really rough on me, I feel like I am now just getting over em.  Three days ago the pain was really bad, felt like pressure kept building and building.  I have a lot of gas with no smell at all.  He did na wanna listen.  He did na even look at the ultrasound he took last week.  He asked if I took it?!(He would know if he actually looked at it).  I asked em is there any other tests we could do, he said no.  What about the pill cam?  He said to tell all of my problems to my family doctor?!
Everyone in Canada is now hating natives FULL ON with the "Idle No More"movement.
His attitude changed since the last visit.
I am at the end of my rope with this.  I feel so bad with no treatment.  IDK how long I can last like this.  Lost ten pounds in the past two weeks.


----------



## CheerBear12

Oh so sorry it didn't go to plan. I wonder why his attitude has changed since the last visit... Is t there another hospital that you could go to coz you need the treatment and fast before you get even worse. I really do hope you get the help that you need/treatment you need. Your not having much luck. It shouldn't be anything to do with race everyone should be treated the same way. It's not fair that your being treated like this and I'm so sorry that its happening to you.


----------



## nativesith

Right now My people are protestin all over Canada.  There was one just in Edmonton.  The Idle No More Movement involves closing roads down to stop/hurt the Canadian economy. Non natives are voicing their disapproval all over the media(TV, radio, internet etc). Racism in Canada is now at an all time high.
Why would that doctor make me do a ultrasound and not look at it.  That is what made me question his motives.  He did na look at it, did he even look at the test results?


----------



## CheerBear12

Hmm as a doctor your job is to look at X-rays and diagnose people it does make you wonder how some people have gotten there jobs. Oh yeah now you mentioned that I've seen it on tv the protesting hope they stop soon and you can soon get the right treatment and be treated by someone who actually does there job properly and knows what they doing.


----------



## Hope345

Did you get copies of your tests?  Make sure you get copies of everything.  

Crohns shows up in different ways.


----------



## nativesith

He seemed like he did na like me and wanted me to leave right away I really did na ave time to think about much.  I will inform my new doctor about it.  He told me about the pill cam, he knew it would ave to be done.  He said the crohn's is in a location that the other scopes would na see.  This surgeon is satisfied when I am not?  I will get the new doc to get copies of everything including my old files. Why is there only one doctor in Canada that will listen to me?  He is na from Canada...go figure.
Weight loss...I felt like I was gaining weight!  I really tried taking in more calories.  But the more I take in the more the stomach acts up.
My fat level has gone down...but I do not want to lose anymore. My muscles are getting smaller.


----------



## nativesith

Woke up with pain in my left side again, big surprise.My stomach(for like the last almost two weeks is bloated on the right side of my belly button.  My mother and wife both see it. Bigger on the right.
*Idle No More*is really making a mess of all of this.  Every non native in Canada is voicing their disapproval.  Many are revealing a racist nature.  Every one has drawn a line.
Some are speaking of Civil war!
I must find a surgeon who is na affected by this.  IDK if that person even exists!  Is there a surgeon in Canada who has na drawn that line?
Creator please help me, why is this all happening now?  My native rights?!  What rights?  All this has done is made the whole situation worse.  Now every non native has ill feelings toward me and my people.


----------



## CheerBear12

I really hope that you can find someone that can and will treat you. You shouldn't have to suffer this nobody should. If they not listening to you in Canada. Is there anyone left in Canada to treat you if they isn't why don't you come to England to get treatment.. They would treat you and listen and certainly not judge. Let me know how you get on.


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## nativesith

Both I and Canada are in really bad shape now,  I prey to the creator that it all gets better.
Please make this better.


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## CheerBear12

I would if I could I'm sorry your going through it all. Sending prays and good vibes your way


----------



## nativesith

Pain is comin back now...trying to take my mind off it and this racism.  Workin on my friends Superman Script for GTA.  Want to make it better.  Now we can fly like Superman, I want more though.
This is what I am learnin and workin on.
This is part of the script.


		Code:
	

    #include <natives.h>
    #include <common.h>
    #include <strings.h>
    #include <types.h>
    #include <consts.h>
     
    #define L1         0x4
    #define L2         0x5
    #define R1         0x6
    #define R2         0x7
    #define DPAD_UP    0x8
    #define DPAD_DOWN  0x9
    #define DPAD_LEFT  0xA
    #define DPAD_RIGHT 0xB
    #define START      0xC
    #define SELECT     0xD
    #define SQUARE     0xE
    #define TRIANGLE   0xF
    #define X          0x10
    #define CIRCLE     0x11
    #define STICK_L    0x12  
    #define STICK_R    0x13 

    Ped ped;
    Vehicle veh, car, VEH;
    float X, Y, Z, idle =15.0 f;
    bool normal = true, normal1 = true, normal2 = true, flying = false, booming = true;
    Object planeobj;
    int netid = -2, vehid;	

    void Superman(void)
    {
    	GET_PLAYER_CHAR(GET_PLAYER_ID(), &ped);
     
    	// activate superman
    	if ( (IS_BUTTON_PRESSED(0, BUTTON_R1) && IS_BUTTON_JUST_PRESSED(0, BUTTON_DPAD_DOWN)) )
    	{
    		if ( !flying )
    		{
    			REQUEST_ANIMS("parachute");
    			while ( !HAVE_ANIMS_LOADED("parachute") ) WAIT(0);


----------



## nativesith

Tryin to work ...but the pain is coming to my right side.  Everyone can see it (bloated)sticking out right of my belly button.  Trapped gas?  Been like this almost since the scopes.
IDK...tryin to get past this.
Noticed ever since the procedure on Dec 27 ...when I do poop(which is na everyday) it is in lil balls, very heavy(splashes my bum) and very dark.  All with gas with no smell, I can na even smell the poop!  Scared to put any type of solid food in there.oo:

I found this searching my symptoms.
http://beyondwellbeing.com/ibs/qistag.shtml


----------



## nativesith

Think I am realizing what is really happening to me.
Do na laugh at me but...I am full of poop!  Belly is stciking out since there is soo much.
Stuck to the wall of my colon.  When it does come out it is hard (I strain)coming out in lil balls.  Gas is building up round it!
Everyone says I lost soo much weight , but I feel fat, bloated, and disgusting.
Notice when I poop sometimes my blood pressure goes up.  I get emotional with goosebumbs from head to toe(really noticeable).
This is not normal!  I ave had a family doctor and surgeon tells me there is nothing wrong and I should be feeling fine.  I do not feel fine!
What happened to Elvis"the King" Presley is happening to me.  I do not wanna die having a heartattack er stroke while on the toilet.  After his death a autopsy revealed 80-90lbs of fecal matter.  Those close to em said he could na take a poop and could na sleep. He tried every laxative back then, nothing helped him.  That is how I feel, like I am slowly losing my life.  I remember the new doc sayin this will na kill me, I am really starting to doubt those words.  This is my stomach and it is very serious and it may lead to other serious issues.
Any one tried Holy tea?  It is supposed to cleanse the body.  Thinking about trying it.


----------



## Hope345

Drink lots of liquids, 6-9 glasses of *water *a day. 
Now that you know what is going on, you *can* fix this.  There are many natural laxatives and many otc ones.   Talk to your local pharmacist for maybe a stronger one.
Let us know how the Holy tea works...


----------



## nativesith

It is constipation!  I used a laxative and like  2 liters of water and pooped and filled like two bowls(feel like there is more in there).  How much is in there?  How much weight does this carry?  Towards the end I noticed a smell, finally!
There is soo much I did na know about that and pooping in general.  Like I did na know that one is supposed to poo after every meal, I ave never done that in my life.
That leads me to why is my stomach na working they way it should?  Seems like no matter what I put in it ends up getting stuck inside for weeks.  This has been happening my whole life.
I also did na know it is better to put your feet up, like you are in a squatting position.  I used a foot stool.
Back to the laxatives...I remember a doctor saying it is na a good thing to rely on laxatives all the time.  I feel like I need something to help me.
Natural and stronger laxatives are next.
I must send away for the holy tea soo dat might be a while.
*Update:*
Still see blood every time I use Laxatives.   Last night, this morning before the procedure.  What can I use that will not make me bleed.  Why I am I bleeding?  Thought my hemorrhoids were taken care of.  Blood was round poo and I seen a poo that was totally red?!


----------



## nativesith

Woke up nauseous and hot...Trying na to lose it.
How can there be bloating, pain and nauseousness.  Thought I emptied it, still on liquid diet.  Honestly thought the laxatives would make me feel better, I feel worse. It was really bad when I woke u I was freaking out my blood pressure went through the roof.  It felt like how the last attack of major pain started last summer.


----------



## CheerBear12

Keep strong you can do this you still getting pain or is it less now? Hugs


----------



## nativesith

It is worse now(than yesterday er the day before), I was gonna call the ambulance when I woke up, but I am levelin out now.
In my mind I was really trying to fight off the bad feelings.
The only med that helped this was Marijuana,  if I did na have I would ave been in a ambulance now er worse. Wish I knew what was wrong with me...this is jus too rough.  Wakin up like that is the scariest feeling.  Like wakin up dead, I did na want to be myself.  I want to run away from myself.
I am starting to get soreness in my hips at night.  Top part of em on the sides of the stomach.  Almost like a pinching feeling.


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## CheerBear12

If it gets any worse just ring them you can't carry on like this I just wish they or someone would listen to you. Thinking of you


----------



## nativesith

Mornings and evenings now seem to be bad for me.  Morning the pain, bloatedness and nausea are the worst.  Night time I feel sore, my knee hurts and now my hips, pinching feeling.  The hips is causing a problem, just thinkin about sex hurts.
What else is gowan to go wrong?  I do na wanna take the laxative I ave now poo all day and bleed toward the end.  
IDK what to do really anymore...all I know is I am sticking to the liquid diet.  spending what lil money I ave one liquids I could ingest.  Mainly drinking bottled water and some fruit juices.  After I emptied my stomach I tried a bit of solid food,chicken and a bit of mashed potatoes.  That did na go very well.  Once the food hit my stomach it began making noise(like constant growl).   Soon after staring I forced myself to quit and became upset.  Was na very much at all, couple of bites.
Than I wake up feelin like this.
I am gowan to lie down and try to relax.


----------



## nativesith

NO!  I just used the toilet first time today(to poo na pee).  I seen the most blood I ave seen in a long time.  There was a lot of blood , tissue y  material , and what lil poo came out was black(I looked at it closer..movin it more blood came out of the blackness).  Really scared to go to bed.


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## CheerBear12

Oh god get to A&E now let us know please what it is


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## nativesith

I feel better now.  Yesterday I had was fruit juice from concentrate(which I will never do again) and water.   This morning I felt really bloated so I tried a breakfast Shake which has milk, I immediately felt better and used the toilet without bleeding(the poo was really dark and mostly dirrahia).  Now I feel less bloated and way better than I was yesterday.
ER...I feel if I do na see Doctor Dippennarr(he is originally na from Canada,go figure)they will na help me and I will be subjected to racism.  I ave heard it all from them. Hospitals in central alberta are the worst for natives(I am na the only one).  Every time I go out I feel nothing but negativity.  I do na want any negativity in my life, it seriously hurts me more.  I do na hate these misguided people, I grew up with many non natives(who all feel ill towards natives now)that I still have love for.  This does na change the way I feel aboot my friends.  Sometimes wish I was 300lbs again.  When I was that size no one said nothing. Lost soo much wieght my own cousin did na recognize me(Jus like 5 mins ago)?!  I am starting to believe the surgeon did NOTHING.
When I ave another procedure I demand one of my family members(or my doctor) be allowed in.  With soo much hate out in the open now, I can na be left in a room  by myself full of non natives with  who have my life in their hands.
*Idle No More* is making my family and I fear for my life.  Worst time for something that to happen.  It is making me fear the institutions of their non native regime.
This is what I am talking aboot!  Wetaskiwin(native for Peace hills?!) and this is allowed on FACEBOOK!  Controversial humor?  They have been openly fanning the flames, it was jus in the local newspaper.  Wetaskiwin council is upset, then why do they na demand it be taken down?
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Controversial-Humor-Wetaskiwin-Memes/202094523258261


----------



## michellek

I was told today i have Crohn's and a few other thing and i start- Aaz tom kinda of nervous and what about workin i cant miss due to the side effects help someone


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## nativesith

IDk really I ave never had treatment for this.
I would go on a liquid diet and see what works for you , not everyone can stomach the same foods.  As you can see I am discovering what I can and can na ingest.
Good luck and best wishes.


----------



## CarolinAlaska

Hi Native,
I have sat here for over an hour reading the five pages of your thread.  What a nightmare you have had to endure.  It is totally a different picture for us here in Alaska, even for the natives.  In Anchorage they have a great hospital system for the natives and they can use the regular system too.  Why hasn't anyone referred you to a gastroenterologist?  I don't know that any of these docs know what IBD is or how to manage it - you need a GI doc!  That said, my daughter (now 13) has only recently been diagnosed with Crohns and I am learning a lot about it.  She has had symptoms her entire life from losing weight as a baby to never being able to gain weight.  We've managed her chronic diarrhea by accidentally finding that a gluten-free diet helps amazingly.  Unfortunately she still isn't gaining.  A few things I am learning about Crohns which may help if you aren't going to be able to depend on a doctor to help is that diet is very important.  One treatment for Crohns that can induce remission is a total enteral nutrition such as Ensure or Boost, or other such high calorie drinks.  These can help with your malnutrition.  Metamucil can help with diarrhea or constipation - both of which can flare up your internal hemorrhoids and you really want to keep on top of both.  Have you tried a gluten free diet?  Have you tried going on a drink like Ensure or Boost exclusively?  Even if you don't have Crohn's, I think these would be worth a try!  Crohn's has a relationship with inflamed joints - perhaps that is part of why your knee is giving such a problem?  Have you had an elevated sed rate or c-reactive protein?  Have you been tested for celiac disease?  those are both blood tests that perhaps your primary doc can check for.  Your surgeon is only interested in something he can fix.  If he doesn't find something he can cut on, he is done.  It is the GI doc who will take all the history and all the finding so far and offer treatment suggestions.  Please ask your primary doc for a referral to one.  I'm so sorry for all your maltreatment.  I pray the Creator will lead you to the right care, or heal you straight up.  Try to stay away from opioids - they cause constipation.  I don't know about THC, but you might check into withdrawal symptoms.  I know you mentioned pain meds were the only things that helped.  When these were stopped, perhaps the flare you experienced was from withdrawals or from constipation causing the hemorrhoids.

Sorry about all my rambling.  I just had some thoughts I thought I'd throw out there.

PS. Even if your celiac test is negative, you can still react to gluten and at least 2 weeks of a gluten-free diet would help to see if that makes a difference


----------



## CheerBear12

I'm still really sorry you've had too go through this you need help and fast. You shouldn't be made to feel so scared about what they will say to you that you can't go to hospital. It's unreal it really is I just feel for you what you've had to endure. I wish somebody would put there feelings aside and just treat you properly. Not everyone is the same and shouldn't be tarred with the same brush. It shouldn't by all means be about racism it's about treating people properly and getting them better. Sorry I wish I could help you upsets me that you've had to put up with this all the time.


----------



## nativesith

Throughout my life and this ordeal I ave lost hope in my people, system and country.  There were times I had completely given up, even before Idle no More.  My whole life it seems society was screaming at me to do something with my life, most times I felt like giving up.  This really trained me to become scared all the time.  I am a prisoner in a government house that I do not own.
Opiods...I feel ya Alaska.    That really makes me question the system, it seems like every native has these?!  Like the doctors are handing em out like crazy.  I see people almost everyday who seem to ave lil er no pain(I can na see any sign of pain) taking codiene out of bottles of 100 er 200 caplets?!  
I do na take em all the time. I take em when the pain becomes too much too handle(which is happening a lot more lately).  Doctor Dippennaar said he understands about my use of it.  He said it was completely understandable when I ave been untreated for soo long.  I need to function in some ways.  I need to make money fixing PCs/laptops.  Without that I would ave nothing right now. 
Nightmare is the only way I can describe it.
Now, I really want to try forget about all of this. I refuse to let this in to my life.  Wondering if cutting my hair would help.  May be like a clean cut army style?
IDK
 I know need to go forward with the doctor tomorrow.  I need to know what test should be done tomorrow.  Please give me some ideas so I am informed tomorrow.  I do na want to go in there with out having and idea where we should go from ere.  
I prey for some end to all of this. Thanks to all for reading and taking time out of your day to try and help me.  Means soo much to me right now.


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## CheerBear12

Can't believe it's gone on for so long it is a nightmare I wish I could help I really do:-( it's upsetting me knowing what your going through. As for cutting your hair is that so that you don't look like a native? It might work I hope in your situation it does coz you need treatment and fast. Good luck for tomoz let us know how you get on thinking of you


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## CarolinAlaska

I will write later tonight when I have some time to think about some ideas for you.  I'm at work now... I like your thinking though.  You haven't given up!


----------



## CarolinAlaska

Okay, Native.  

Here are my thoughts, for what they are worth:  Go to the appointment showing your doctor that you are sincerely interested in getting better.  Don't mention disability this time.  Just focus on your symptoms and your biggest concerns.  You can write out your symptoms/history on a piece of paper, or perhaps print out what you wrote in your story on this thread, although the more concise you have it, the better.  Bring a notebook to write down whatever the doctor tells you to do, and keep track of your efforts to do it afterwards and then bring it in the next time, etc. to show him that you are sincerely interested in getting better.  If you have questions for him, write them down and leave room for you to write his answers later.  Don't overwhelm him with too many unrelated problems each visit or he won't be able to focus on any of them very thoroughly.

The reason I say not to mention the disability is that in some clinics people get the idea that some people are more interested in "working the system" than in getting better.  (I know, crazy isn't it..., like someone would actually choose to subject themselves to worse than poverty level in order to receive the money...).  Show them that you have a real problem, and that you are going to do your part in finding a way to get past it.

I don't know if a short haircut will help, but definitely go as clean as possible and if you smoke, let yourself air out outside before coming into the building. 

Questions to ask: 
Is he familiar with inflammatory bowel disease?  Would he be willing to refer you to a specialist who could rule it out thoroughly (a gastroenterologist) and who could help you heal up from your hemorrhoids so that you can see if you are bleeding from anywhere else.  If he thinks that your problem is just constipation and hemorrhoids, ask him why it is that you are losing so much weight and why your stomach looked in such bad shape.  If your regular doctor will give you a good referral, perhaps the GI doc will take you seriously too.  Ask the doctor what you can do in the meantime to help your symptoms:  1. Prevent constipation and diarrhea.  2. Stop the rectal bleeding.  3.  Give you more energy. 4.  Prevent bloating 5.Whatever other symptoms that are keeping you from being able to do your activities of daily living (ie work, eat, shop, etc).

God bless you as you go see the doctor.  I'm saying a prayer for you right now.

Carol:hang:


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## CarolinAlaska

So, how did it go?:shifty-t:


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## CheerBear12

You ok?


----------



## nativesith

He referred me to a GI! 
 Gave me metronidaloze(which I took and imeddiately started feelin better), Lax a Day (tried it once so far no bad signs), and Taro Docusate Sodium capsules(to take at night time before bed). 
 He said it may simply be constipation, if it is the Lax for a month should take care of it.  However, he also believes there is a underlying problem causing the bleeding,constipation and weight loss.  

I asked about the pill cam and he said it was na a reliable procedure.  But he said do not lose hope, the GI will know what to do and where to go from ere.
I hope this continues to go well, I feel better.
I will update you all later.
Thanks for your time and friendship.


----------



## Hope345

Glad  to hear it went well.   
j


----------



## CheerBear12

Glad it went well and hope you continue to feel better. Keep us updated please I've been on that medicine loads of times for different reasons its made me feel awful but hope it makes wonders for you. I'm illergic to penicillin so when I need antibiotics don't really have much choice always get that.


----------



## CarolinAlaska

nativesith said:


> He referred me to a GI!
> Gave me metronidaloze(which I took and imeddiately started feelin better), Lax a Day (tried it once so far no bad signs), and Taro Docusate Sodium capsules(to take at night time before bed).
> He said it may simply be constipation, if it is the Lax for a month should take care of it.  However, he also believes there is a underlying problem causing the bleeding,constipation and weight loss.
> 
> I asked about the pill cam and he said it was na a reliable procedure.  But he said do not lose hope, the GI will know what to do and where to go from ere.
> I hope this continues to go well, I feel better.
> I will update you all later.
> Thanks for your time and friendship.


Glad to hear that you are going to see a GI.  When will that be?  These things never happen quickly enough, do they? :yfrown:  I hope the med works.  Remember that metronidazole has BAD side effects if taken with alcohol (I know you don't drink, but I've heard of people reacting to alcohol prep pads and hand sanitizer with it - just for what it's worth!)  I hope you keep getting better and better from here on out.


----------



## nativesith

Woke up in pain, took the metron and startin feelin better.  I had a lil soup last night!
My cousin Denise came to visit my wife, my mother and I.  She said she has been going through the same situation almost the same amount of time.  She wakes up in pain, with pain moving all over her stomach.  She is barley 90 lbs?!
Doctors do na want to help her either.  Her mother died last fall, she said she almost gave up.  Depression hit her hard nad she did na eat.
She is the same age as me!
Why did they did this to us for soo long?  She has na even heard of a GI!  We all cried together.
She only takes native medicine(which she believes in with all her heart),but she still feels the pain everyday.


----------



## Hope345

You will be the one to show everyone the way..
I am so sorry to hear about your aunt.


----------



## CarolinAlaska

I'm so sad and sorry for both of you and for her mother.  I'm glad you have each other.  Don't let the world pull you down.  You can beat this!


----------



## nativesith

I think her late mother(my aunt ) had this. (That is messed up when we do na even know what THIS is.) There was never a point in her life when she was overweight.  She was never one to complain.  She had lived a hard life growing up in a residential school along side my mother n late father.  She dealt with her pain with alcohol and she could na be stopped.
I was beginning to believe it could na be this bad in our area. I was beginning to believe this nightmare could na be real.
But it is all too REAL.


----------



## nativesith

Today at first looked grim ...but it turned out really great.
I woke up like I usually do, pain/bloatedness n all.  I was feelin kinda of stressed out, since I was thinkin, "this is na workin...what now?".
Felt like this up til the evening.  I was working on my mods and I began to feel very tired.  Almost too tired, like I was going to black out.  I would ve told someone but it is like I could na talk.  Then my best friend from college (Renee)came over, and when he entered my house I felt better.  He even  convinced me to go outside with him to Tim's.  He really twisted my arm.  We talked about how he was doing and then we talked about me.  I told him what was happening and the harsh effect it has on my life.  I ave felt like I could barley fix the Pc/Laptops I do to make the $ I do.  I told em about the battle that went on between my stomach and I my whole life.  It never works right.  I can eat, but what ever I put in seems to get stuck in it.  Nothing moves without help.  Laxatives did make movement, but it also produced blood. 
It was then Renee confided in me that he has problems aving movements throughout his life.  He named every laxative I tried.  He has seen no blood, but there ave been times when he never pooped in like a week.
I told em we got to find something that will help us. You do not want to get to the stage I am in now , I told em.  
He bought me a small hot chocolate at Tim's which I did drink.  When I got home I actually pooped!?  I t was a lot of diaheria, with no blood. 
I feel better!  I ave taken only what the doctor prescibed  me.  Lax a Day is working!  Is it a bad thing to take Lax a Day everyday?  Even metronizole, I feel that is the only med that is helping me eat and the Lax a Day is producing movement.
But I am a lil scared.  I know this will happen again.  I need something like Lax a Day just to help me poo once in a while. If I stop taking that the cycle of pain will begin all over. I know there is a underlying problem to all of this.
I feel scared for my uninformed cousin who has no treatment at all like what I ave now.
She is so small right now.  I know she is going through what no one should ave to go through...and I know no one is helping her.
THAT ENDS NOW!


----------



## CarolinAlaska

Keep in communication with your doc, keep up the med, but may have to back it off if all you do is watery diarrhea.  Get yourself in a good place, then you will be in better position to help your cousin.  Maybe your pioneering the way with the docs will help her know which way to go...  Keep your head up!:medal1:


----------



## nativesith

Woke up with pain in sides but it went away faster than ever.
It was a lot of diarrhea last night, but no blood, I really do na want to stop the Lax. I feel great and I know that is the reason. It has been too long since I felt like this and I do na want it to stop.  Without the Lax my stomach will na move.


----------



## CarolinAlaska

I'm not saying you should stop it, but if you have watery diarrhea too much, you may get to the point where you want to spread out the duration between doses.  Understand.  I am glad you are getting relief.  When do you see the GI doc?


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## Hope345

Since you have a doctor you trust, and he knows the situation, stay with the laxative for a couple of weeks and then you can see if it is going to work for you.  There are safe laxatives you can take each day. (I agree with Carol, spreading it out every other day might be a good idea) 

The pattern of severe constipation that seems to be in your community does need to be addressed.   Maybe once they can pin point what is causing your illness, it will help everybody.   

The article on severe constipation, made it clear how severe that is on the human body.  The GI doctor hopefully will help you get this figured out.


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## nativesith

Yeah ...takin a day off.  Went form na pooin at all to pooin too much.
Like every 15-30 mins.  Dirahia, but na blood.  Just need to find some middle ground.
Feelin better I want to make more money by expanding ,my PC/Laptop business.  I refuse to lie down and play dead.  
Coding is my way out of all of this.  I must learn every and any code.  I must live and breath it to write constantly and produce something huge I could sell.  Like I pad apps.
I will na let this beat me.  My spirit is comin back to life,pain is na longer gnawin at the back of my head ,and it feels good.


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## Hope345

Hope you find that middle ground too.
And all the best with that app....  you create it and we will all buy it


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## CarolinAlaska

That is the spirit!  Isn't it amazing how life is better when the gut moves the way it should!


----------



## nativesith

Getting fever like and achy all over, took a shower.  Now heatin pad.
Feelin better, but its like I ave  cold/flu symptoms.  fever , aching feelin all over and blowin my nose all day, soo much it was drippin out.
I honestly did na eat at all today, just shakes.
Weighing myself before the scopes I was 228, now I am 190(last time I checked).  I know that number is going top get smaller.
What is that like 30 pounds within a month , with no exercising?


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## Hope345

sounds like a virus maybe.... it is that time of year.  

That is a lot of weight loss. too much 

Hope you get feeling better soon.


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## CarolinAlaska

No!!!  You have had enough sickness!  I hope someone can bring you some chicken soup and fluffy blankets.  At least its coming out your nose now and not blood out the other end, right?  Hope you feel better soon!


----------



## nativesith

That fever was bad, it made me want to cry myself to sleep.  Felt so hot and cold at the same time with pain all over.  Woke up feeling like my insides had been stretched out.
Today is the busiest time for my pc/laptop business since everyone gets paid today.
I ve had no time to lie down.  Least there was na blood.
But it was really watery and yellow, like mustard.
Yesterday was -40 with the wind chill and my reserve house is na the greatest.
I really wish that does na happen again.


----------



## CarolinAlaska

Glad you had work today, but sorry you were feeling so sick, especially when it was cold in your house  !  I hope you feel much better tomorrow.  Keep yourself well-hydrated.


----------



## Hope345

It sounds like you should make a call to the doctors office just to let them know about your temp and color of stool....


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## nativesith

Still waitin one the call from the GI taking forever while I feel sick.  I feel like a baloon that is over inflated.  Mornings I feel like I am going to burst.  The pressure is soo bad  when I wake up(usually round 6-7am)I can na go back to sleep.  My life demands that I can na rest.  I must keep going , even when I feel I can na.
This is native life.  Poor, in pain and neglected.
It is the pressure that makes me feel bad.  When I lie down I feel gravity pushing down making it worse.  I wish I could sleep like a bat, upside down hanging from my feet, er maybe a hammock?


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## Hope345

You are also strong, steadfast, hard working and faithful....

Hope you get feeling better.


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## nativesith

Got more work to do jus now.   Unlockin a LG phone and fixing a Laptop with viruses.
Hopefully I can take my mind off this.  Need a sleeping solution that is better than now.


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## Hope345

Have you tried Melatonin?  inexpensive, natural, otc.     Works well.


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## nativesith

I am getting a fever almost every night.  Pain in joints.  Pain in stomach. Dirahia.
Notice my eye was really ichy and red.
This does na feel good. It is always worse at night now breaking my sleep, feels like I am forced to get up.  My stomach feels hotter than the rest of the body.
Always worse in left side.
Melatonin?  Willing to try anything...but actually leaving my house a problem.


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## Hope345

So you did call your doctor with symptoms?
My daughters eye got red when she had scleritis....  symptom of Crohns.
It did not itch--

Itchy eyes could be an indicator of the start of a conjunctivitis, which could be either allergy,bacterial, viral and even dry eye related.

Allergic conjunctivitis is the first thing that needs to come to mind though with itchy eyes, as it is the primary symptom for this condition.

Treating Itchy Eyes

A mild case of itchy eyes will probably go away in a few days, but if not then some over the counter (OTC) “artificial tear” eye drops from your local pharmacy might do the trick. Don’t take the drops more than four times a day however, and if the itchy eyes persist, then make an appointment with your optometrist as soon as practical.

Before you make your appointment you might like to get a friend to have a bit of a look into your eyes to see if there is any foreign matter there, pulling the lower lid down while you look up and vice versa to give your friend an open view. If there is something there then a quick splash of sterile saline might get it out.

found the post above, could you be allergic to your new medication?
Check out the symptom checker on line too.  See what comes up;here is the link:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/symptom-checker/DS00671


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## nativesith

Starting to belive I ave a severe form of UC.  Sounds like what I ave been going through?
http://ehealthmd.com/content/what-are-symptoms-ulcerative-colitis
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ulcerative-colitis/DS00598/DSECTION=symptoms


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## Hope345

You do have ALL of those symptoms.
Even though your colonoscopy was clear, maybe you were not flaring at the time.  Not sure why the inflammation or ulcers did not show.  Maybe someone with UC could add some comments.


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## nativesith

I barely remember that procedure and he would not answer any questions about it.  Both my mother and I remember them saying their were three parts of my stomach that were badly inflamed(I heard inflamed my mother heard infected). How could they see that and then say it was nothing(inflamation or infection?)3 weeks later? They said they tied up something round the hemmeriods and my stomach felt worse after that.  Before I was feelin a lil better.
Can not wait to see this GI, and a dietician.  What I can eat is limited and my appetite is going down hill.


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## CarolinAlaska

I'm sorry you are feeling badly again.


----------



## nativesith

Whatever I ave has flared up the past two days my stomach feels hot like my head, and I feel cold.  Getting sharp pains,  I need something for the pain . .. I can na take this anymore.  Thinking of going to the ER.


----------



## Hope345

I am so sorry.  

There must be something to coat your stomach.
Have you tried Maalox? (or generic form)  
We all had the flu with major stomach cramps and that stopped it immediately.
Possibly you have something   totally different, but thought I would mention it.

There is a section on here specifically for UC.   Have you checked that yet?


----------



## kathleens

HI my daughter is 13 years old and we dont have any answers yet.
she has had joint and skin problems for years now hardly able to walk because of the pains in her hips was the start.
 Over the years rashes, pustules on the hands and feet and the doctors told us they thought she has SAPHO syndrome which is very rare .
 Her ANA bloods 1.642  so they auto immune but not sure. Started problems with pain ankles, wrists knees thought arthtitis but bloods okay. Started feeling like her bowels were moving but they arent when out and about doing normal things, tingly hands and feet and vision problems,
 Now last  year later tummy pain they did a fecal caliproctine test level 227 in and got camera up and down and biopys ALL CLEAR .
NO bowel problems
 We  are waiting on the results from the bowel mri but doc doesnt think crohns or colitis and the biopys and scope clear and they thought there would be spread.

WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK?
The docs also said before the did the camera up and down that because fecal caliproctine was high its only raised by crohns or colitis but now that camera was all clear and biopys are clear they are now saying could have been raised because of sore throat or cold something like that even she was well to us at the time . 

First caliproctine test was  March second test was Sept.
And now saying ANA Blood test might always be high
can you help can this still be crohns . we have family history  but more running to the toilet rather than joint and skin.


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## CarolinAlaska

Kathleens, does she have weight issues, underweight, abdominal pain, changes in bowels?  My daughter had nearly normal tests of both scopes and MRE, but the video camera showed inflammation throughout.  Her main symptoms are not being able to eat and delayed puberty with low weight.  I would suggest you post on the parents of IBD support board, as more people will see your post and can help.  I'm pretty new to all of this myself.


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## nativesith

I can do soo many things I ave learned(mostly by myself, self taught).  When I put my mind to a technical l problem there is nothing that can stand in my way. 
I wish I could figure this out.  Wish my scripts worked on me.  Online in Grand Theft Auto I play as god, I can do things that amaze people when I go online and play.  I apply God mode and I can fly like Superman(People jump on my back and I show em what they never seen before).  I really wish that was me.
Wish I could apply God-Mode to myself.  I wish I really could show people the amazing things I can do.  But this ...this has gotten my way my whole life.
My lil brother and lil sister both Tower over me(I did na grow as much as them)
Now it is like half of my life is gone and now this...this handicap.  I am trying soo hard to get over this.
Everyday is a battle I am afraid to lose.  I can na LOSE!
What I thought was my high blood pressure is a nightly fever.  I can na believe I or my wife who touches me every night did na notice til now(We were soo concerned about everything else).  These flu like symptoms are every day.  I realize NOW?! this is happening everyday.  I thought congestion was allergies and the high blood pressure explained my fever.
*THIS IS MY DAY EVERYDAY for years*
It is a cycle of pain.  Mourning I wake up mostly feelin the bloated pain, but it the congestion is also bad.  I blow my nose with a lot of green almost yellowy stuff that is like slimey sticky. When I sneeze ,which is a everyday thing, I sneeze like ten times in a row.Bam,bam,bam!  Make the pain worse.  By mid day er evening the bloated pain/congestion settles and the slight to high fever begins. Temp in my head neck and stomach feels hotter than anywhere else.  Joint pain worsens with the fever.  All with rashes and itchy eyes. Damn.  When it is bad it all gets worse.  Not one but all symptoms.  Fatigue gets real bad, making me extremely irritable.

Painkillers slows it all down, the fever, the pain,the congestion.  I feel trapped.  I know now I am flaring up bad.
I took em like three hours ago until then I was really bad.  
I swear  to my creator that I do na want to take these.  But some days without em seem impossible.  I did na start just taking pain killers and this started happening, rather it is the only option (that helps me) I am given now.  I realize now this was happening my whole life, and this is the only med I found that eases it.


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## CheerBear12

I had a very severe flare suffered 4 months before I done anything about it. My doctor gave me immodium it didn't work a week later I was in so much pain with my stomach I could hardly move and going the toilet so many times. I got admitted they thought it was severe uc treatment wasn't working I was getting sicker and sicker. Pain spread to all of my stomach. I only started getting flu like symptoms in hospital and my temperature was up everyday they thought it was normal for me it wasn't. In the end they had to remove my large bowel it could of burst at anytime and killed me. I don't mean to scare you but it needs sorting out before that can happen. I know nobody is listening to you or nobody will treat you. Which is the worst thing can't you somehow get treatment in uk? My surgeons were amazing I didn't want it but didn't know then that it was too save my life. He said it was the worst he had ever seen had to send it off for second opinion it was that bad. Got diagnosed with indeterminate colitis. I just hope you get this sorted before it is too late. Don't mean too scare you


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## nativesith

I am scared, I can feel my stomach like every second, no appetite.  MY stomach sounds like thunder rumbling from one area to the next. Left side hurt more than any other part. The fevers get bad with pain all over.  I know it will burst if something is na done soon.  Still waiting on call GI , I am getting ready to try to call my Doctor.
A lot of people ere say to do that.  No doctor in Canada ever gave me a number where I could call em.  The only number I know is the number of his office.  I know the nurses will na let me talk to em over the phone.  Many of the treatment /respect everyone ere is given, is never given to me.  They never share the information about me, like paperwork.  Most visits I ave felt rushed , like they all wanted me out asap.
I am trying to prepare myself for the GI visit.  I do na want to overwhelm em.
I jus gotta make it to see em, please Creator help me.


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## CheerBear12

It started off my left side hurting really bad then when I was actually admitted it spread to all over my stomach. Make sure you get a number when you going to see GI? He shouldn't make you feel rushed.. Tell him what you have told us I'm scared for you if nothing is done only that was my fault and not there's. let us know how you get on plz. Make sure you write questions down you want to ask. In the UK they don't treat you how you get treated there. It really make me angry that you are still being treated like nobody. Good luck let me know


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## CheerBear12

Forgot to mention my heart rate was over 100 beats per min all the time supposed to be 70-80 beats per min


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## nativesith

Every time I check my blood pressure it is like that.  I was dianosed with High Blood pressure in 2004.  I was taking my baby in the hospital at the time, one look at me and the doctor knew something was wrong.  "Go get registered now! and get immediatley back in here" he said.  I did, when he did check my pressure his eyes went wide.  "IDK how you are standing now...your heart should ve exploded" he said.  "Your blood pressure is like almost double what it is supposed to be!"  He checked my forehead and said "your are burning up!  How do you feel "he asked.  I told em I was "sore all over , and my head felt hot all the time."   That was what 9 years ago!
He gave me PAINKILLERS?! Tylenol 3 the first time I had taken that and the fever and pain all over went away.He also prescribed some high blood pressure med , which made it all worse.  After a few days it made my stomach worse, made the fever worse, and nausea and fatigue hit hard.  I was working hard at the time.  Really still trying to find a med that will agree with me for the blood pressure.
For 9 years I had a fever which every doctor said was because of my blood pressure. 
I feel soo STUPID!
On top of all this , I phoned my doctor's office and made a appt.  I asked em if I could speak with the doctor.  They asked me ,"what it this was concerning?"(REALLY!!OMG!! Asking to talk to a doctor!  WHAT IS IT CONCERNING?!). " My health" I said.  Then she said they referred me to the GI, who then referred me back to the quack surgeon.  He ignored it last time, what makes em think he will na do it again?  I ave no faith in the man.
They are going to kill me.
My wife...IDK what is going on.  But she does na understand.  She does na help me, really making me feel worse.  She does not want to listen.  She wakes up irritable every morning.  This pain forces me to wake up early, and I dread the time when she wakes.  Her negative attitude always makes me upset.  She barley helps out roud the house.This is why my mother moved back.  Since I could na longer do everything and my wife did na want to do anything.  Everyday I see my mother(over 50 years old) doing most of the cleaning while my wife seems to sit there staring at me.  All makes me upset , why would she do this to me and my mother?
If my time is short, I do na want to spend it with her.
I can na lie about her anymore.


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## CheerBear12

That bloke sounded like he new what he was doing can't you go bk to him? or was he just a doctor? I think it was my bodies way of saying there something wrong and trying to fight it off even tho it didn't work nothing did only surgery i had nearly a month of strong steroids it's bk to normal now thank goodness they done tests on my heart while I was in there. Nothing came bk. oh goodness how long has this been going on for? I really do want to help you. You need to go to a good GI who will listen to you, treat you and who you can trust. Can't believe that woman she shouldn't have asked its confidential. Let me know how you get on. When's your appt? You are right in saying he could do it again.


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## nativesith

Appointment is next friday at 12:30.  IDK know what I want to say to em about all of this.  The first visit I had with em he said this would na kill me.  Starting to believe it is all a lie.
Every doctor is lying to me and ignoring  me.  I ave had enough, next friday I am going to speak with a Lawyer.  This is na right.  I feel like I am going to die and no one round here cares but my mother and kids.  I can na lose.


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## CheerBear12

Think positive it won't and you can beat this  good luck with it you seeing a gi and lawyer? We care  will the lawyer speak to doctors and GIs as well it isn't right they need to be told  I wanted to believe I would beat it yet it nearly took my life. I believe it's my fault but we won't ever know for sure coz of my diagnosis. Good luck


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## CarolinAlaska

Nativesith, you are starting to sound bitter.  That bitterness will eat your insides out.  Your doctor is trying to help and he gave you some medicine that helped for a few days.  Are you still taking it?  Are you doing everything he asked you to do?  When you go back on Friday, tell him what you did, how long it helped and when the problems started recurring.  Keep a journal this week of your symptoms.  Have you tried to go on a gluten free diet?  That helps a lot of people with GI problems.  You'd have to do it faithfully for 2-4 weeks to see whether it is going to help.  Be specific when you go see your doctor.  Choose the part of your problems that bother the most, such as abdominal pain, daily fevers and body aches (or whatever symptoms you find most bothersome).  Recap what you discussed before and what you've tried and how it worked.  Don't go into how no one is helping you or how you feel you are being neglected or your marital problems, etc.  It isn't your doctor who is going to help with those problems and it will detract from the time he has set aside to see you for your medical problems.


----------



## nativesith

I know...it was hard hearing that I would see the same surgeon.  Taken everything he gave me.  I am na eating really much of anything.  It is constantly going on no matter what is thrown at it.  Just too much to deal with everyday.   I wish I could ave faith.
But I was heart broken hearing I would na even see the GI.  This surgeon obviously na stomach specialist.  I fear I will go through all the scopes again for nothing to show.
The scopes were really hard on me and only made this worse.  I really have no choice ,must go back to this surgeon.   Do na know how to feel.  
Now my daughter is not eating, she never wants to go out with her friends.
Showing too many bad signs of what I been through.
My relationship with my wife is something I work hard on .  Some times I think too hard.
I love her, but I need her to be more positive.  
I know it is too much to hear , to much for me to hear.


----------



## CarolinAlaska

I'm so sorry.  I've lost track of which doctor, but I was referring to the one you liked who gave you the laxative.  That is not the office you were calling?  Sorry.  No, you'll want a surgeon to know your whole story so he can help unravel it for you...  

Is your daughter depressed?  Withdrawal and lack of appetite can be signs of depression.  Is she getting other GI symptoms as well?  

If you do get scoped again, I hope the surgeon will take biopsies.  I am totally with you about a surgeon isn't the same as a GI.  That is frustrating news, especially when you felt blown off the first time.

Have a good night.  I guess if you are writing now, you aren't sleeping well.  I figure it is much later there, although it's only just midnight here.  I fear I'm not being very helpful, know that I mean to be caring, and I do care that you and your entire family are suffering.


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## nativesith

My days are hard.  Late at night I feel better than the rest of the day.  I do na wnna go to sleep.  I wake up feeling like I been kicked in the sides or like I ran a hundred miles.
I end up going to sleep very late and waking up very early, it is torture.
Lawyer...I want to talk to.  I really want to hear what he has to say about all of this.
If the worst should happen at least he will know my side of this nightmare.
Working hard yesterday. I sat on the floor to get at better look at the insides of a PC.
Soon as I sat I noticed a sharp pian that hurt it made me jump up.  Still kinda hurting form that.

I will go through this one last procedure with this, if that does na work...
I give up on the Canadian medical system.  No more test no more doctors. What is going to happen is going to happen
I accept that and I know now I can na stop this. I will go to a medicine man and prey one em can save me.  Racists of Canada will na allow anyone to save me.  Seems like they want to prolong this and make it worse.

Sorry for belly aching for soo long, back to work.


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## CheerBear12

Don't be silly you are allowed to rant on! We just want you to get it all sorted and get well again  have you got any strong painkillers that you could take? Don't think that the worst will happen that you will get better. You will be treated and you get through this. We believe in you you are strong. Good luck for Friday keep us posted


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## CheerBear12

Just don't give up! Keep trying!


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## nativesith

I ave more faith in my grandfathers than in any doctor I ave met.
My father died when I was very young, I can remember that like it was yesterday.  I remember going into a deep depression that made my stomach worse.  I went to my family doctor and told em what had happened.  You know what he told me?
First he asked how old dad was at the time of his death.I told em 40.  Then he said that was most likely when I would die By 40.  He said his to a child.  I was lost without my father. I still am.  I walked out of there stunned with no help , thinking about my death.
I can na stop thinking about that, since he said it.  They did this to my father , the bastards!


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## CarolinAlaska

:frown:


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## nativesith

My father was jus like me, he had accomplished more in his life.  He was a brilliant man who the community respected and listened to as a leader. He was destined to become the greatest Chief we would ve EVER known.  But it never happened.
I seen em go through all I am going through now.  But he was soo strong he NEVER wanted to talk about or let anyone treat em any differently.
I was told he died of a heartattack.  I do na believe that.  The pain was jus too much for his heart to take.
When I went in for my stomach last summer they said the same thing.  I had a heart attack.  I did na feel anything in my heart(No numbness or confusion)it was all pain in my stomach.


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## CheerBear12

Jezzz  that is so sad and I'm sorry about your dad he should not have said that to you can't you get your grandfathers doctors to help you?


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## nativesith

Last night I was fixin a PC I had to get in closer.  So I sat on the floor.  My butt had a sharp pain.  Still feel it , makes it uncomfortable to sit any where.
So next visit I will be like "LOOK AT MY BUTT!" lol
For like the millionth time.  Can na help but laugh at that.  My butt on display OMG.

Grandfathers doctors are the same people so I know that will na work.  They know better than any native what to expect when we go there.  Western Canada was really bad before this fight for our rights.  Now natives everywhere are standing up while I can na stand up for it and I feel the effects of it.


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## CheerBear12

I can't think of anymore ideas I'm sorry  wish I could help you. Lol at least it makes you laugh but good luck for Friday let us know how you get on thinking of you big hugs wish I could take it all away for you :-(


----------



## nativesith

On my own I ave fought a war against my body.  Blinded by pain I did na even realize what was going on(or how long ) er what was happening to me.  All I could focus on was others(My family) and my pain.
I ave come to many realizations with all your help and guidance while I walked my dark path.  I realize this was in fact happening all my life.  I realize the pain affected my brain making me insane.  I realize my life was put on hold for too long.
Lately I realize any blood pressure meds help the pressure , but they make this worse. I ave na traken any of em for the past two days and I feel better.  I am torn between helping my pressure or my pain.  I also realize I am na lactose intolerant, in fact it makes me feel better.  Past few days I ave drank milk product , yogurt, ice cream.  They helped me poo!  I woke up this morning as I usually do, but this time I felt I needed to poo right away.  I did and the strangest thing happened after that, I WENT BACK TO SLEEP!.  I ave never done that in soo long
So I am going to keep this up.
I came to the realization I am a WARRIOR!  I am the warrior "nativesith".  I am a warrior like my father and grandfather before me.  This will na take me!
:ybiggrin:


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## CheerBear12

Keep fighting you can do this thinking of you!


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## nativesith

I noticed sometimes with the fever comes shaking.  Almost like a seizure. Like I feel cold and my chest starts twitching.
But the fever went down for the past couple days.  I still wake with pain.  diarrhea.  Now the pain last all day but it feels more like a bruise inside on the left side.  I did use the toilet, but I can still feel my left side bloated out more than my right side.
I really am only on Metronidazole and the soduim tablets at night.


----------



## nativesith

I pooped soo much today, a lot of diarehia.  Growling in my left side.
Looked like some was floatin and lot of it feel to the bottom.
I think that is the old stuff that was stuck to my insides.
I feel like I emptied my stomach , but it feel s like there is a bruise inside on my left. I remember tha last visit, he said once the constipation is gone, you should feel better.  I do na.
Appt on friday.


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## CheerBear12

Good luck let us know how it goes


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## CarolinAlaska

I heard once that floating poo that sticks to the sides of the toilet (requires double flush) can be malabsorption issues.  Jae had floating stools and diarrhea/constipation when she was eating gluten.  Even if your tests don't show celiacs, I highly recommend a gluten and dairy free diet until your bowels start working right.


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## nativesith

Look at this.  Glad I noticed this(poo n all).
 There is always some floating and sticking to the sides.
Damn it, I think this is my Pancreas!
Going to the ER now.
http://www.peacehealth.org/xhtml/content/cam/hn-1052003.html


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## CheerBear12

Good luck let us know how you get on


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## nativesith

That was noting but straight up torture! They kept me all night and reaally did nothing?!
First I went in saying I been getting pain nausea, vomiting , fever, aching joints, on and on.
Doc said he wanted to test for Celaic diesease and to see if I am lactose tolerant.
They took blood, xray and the doctor noticed my stomach was badly inflamed.
They gave me an IV, which helped nothing.  That made it worse.  I could feel every painful pump into my body, worse when they flushed it out. I do na remember any IV being that painful.  I could na sleep all night, and I told em the pain meds were na aving any effect.  I told em I was cold and got nothing.Then I noticed another nativeman was brought in.  He was in pain under the same situation.  Great pain with no help, so he said I might as well leave.  They threatened to call the cops on em!  They said he was under doctors orders to stay until morning.  Feeling soo much pain and discomfort I could not sleep all night and I knew they would ve done that to me.  Seems like all the real racists come out at 800 am.  they said nothing about my pancreas which is what I told the doctor it was.
IDK know where to go from ere...I left the hospital.  I could na stand it anymore.
They had one test to do and it was taking forever.
I do na know what is going to happen er even what this is.
I am losing hope and running out of time. 
I still feel the pain in stomach ...now with a pain where they forced their way in my vein.  They even got mad when I could na eat.
Doctor seemed like he was really concerned and helpful, but he was gone an hour after I went in, the nurses could na give a damn about me.
They tortured me all night.  All night I was cold, hot ,sacred, crying,alone(my wife left and did na come back)and in unimaginable pain.  Still in pain, and my left arm.  From the elbow to wrist feels like every vein is inflamed and in pain.
Creator HELP ME!  It really seemed like they were trying(and succeeding!) to make it worse.
 I can na take this any LONGER!


----------



## nativesith

The Doctor at the ER gave me a prescription before he left.  My ma took it to my uncles pharmacist and cried to him.  "My son had na ate any food for a long time, he lost almost 40 pounds in one moth.  His is in pain constantly.  He is giving up wanting to write a will.  
He just came form the ER where he was cold all night and no one would give em a blanket.  They even tried to feed em and got mad at him when he did na eat.  Can you help him?"
After hearing that he hugged my ma and looked at the prescription.  H pylori.
He questioned why the doctor would na give me the maximum dose.  So he phoned the doctor and told em" I am seeing more and more of people like this man in his community, I know for a fact he NEEDS the Maximum dose NOW!"  The doctor agreed and the pharmacist gave it to my ma.  How could a bloody Pharmacist(Creator bless his heart) know more than that doctor?  I just took some and I am feeling a lil better.
I love my ma.
Can na wait to tell my new doctor what happened.  I never want to go to Wetaskiwin hospital EVER again.


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## CheerBear12

Hope this does the trick keep us posted hope you get sorted soon its been far too long now. I don't understand either how a pharmachist can get the doctor to listen but you can't. Sending big hugs and positive vibes your way


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## nativesith

Starting to feel better, 
I think I can eat?!


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## CheerBear12

Whoop whoop


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## CarolinAlaska

How awful.  I'm so sorry.  Hospitals are horrible places, but unfortunately necessary.  I had to take my daughter there this week also, and did not achieve what we went in for, but I think we learned a lot and hopefully are at a better place now.

Do you have options of other hospitals?  Take it easy with your eating - start light with crackers, water, bananas, rice, applesauce, toast and see how it goes.  Avoid spicy food for a few weeks while you heal.

Hugs and a prayer for quick recovery.
Carol


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## CheerBear12

Hope it carries on and gets better from now on


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## nativesith

Thank you all and the Creator!  I tired a scrambled egg, and my stomach is na upset er making noises.  Pain is going down.
About the only issue I ave is my arm, still swollen and it hurts when ever it is touched.  From my left elbow almost right up to my wrist.  That was what was torturing me.  IV did na help it made matters worse.  30 mins of sleep that night and I felt I needed to escape.
They ignored me all night when I was cold, one nurse said they would bring me a extra blanket, they did na.
The doctor said to na take any lactose, and guess what the nurses tried giving me in the morning? MILK! Then they got mad when I said NO!
I have Edmonton left as my only option , which really is na good since it is a hour away.
Appt tomorrow and I can na wait to tell em what happened there and how I will never go back to that so_called hospital.
I ave soo many questions...like is this a viral/bacterial infection?  And if so, what would years of that do to a stomach?  
Could this be like a third world disease that has made my life a hell?  I live in CANADA?!  Why did it take this long?!  I am soo angry at this treatment!
THE SURGEON?! He had to see an infection! Why did he only give opiate painkillers!  Now they are trying to send me back to em! No GI for this indian! They were all trying to kill me!  Only two doctors in all of this area would even consider helping me.
I am going to sue everyone involved!
I am in a *3rd world *and this medication fell from the heaven, FINALLY!


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## nativesith

I am trying to remember all the racism.  It is hard since it was lifelong.
I am telling my painful story to a Lawyer tomorrow and ask em how he/she feels about it and if anything can be done.  This needs to be brought out in the open.  I will tell the media.  Someone like those Doctors and nurses must be held accountable for what they are doing.  It is na right!  They see my people in pain and they do NOTHING!
I am Idle No More concerning this, they did it to me and many others.  How many of my people died like this? Is this the reason why my community leads the country(Probably the world) in the suicide rate?  Since no one will consider helping us?


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## CarolinAlaska

Nativesith, are you taking vitamin D3?  If not you and your people really need to be.  The darkness of our high latitude keeps us from getting enough.  This will cause depression, pain, immunity and inflammation problems.  Take 5000 units a day if you aren't yet.


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## CheerBear12

What's vitamin d3? 5000 units  what's it supposed to do?


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## nativesith

Thank you for the advice Alaska.  
I am feeling way better , the pain is gone!
But now I am thinking without pain nagging at me 24/7.
What would a stomach infection do to the stomach if it is left for YEARS?   Is that na what the HP PAK is for?  Could na the Surgeon recognize a infection when he sees it, or would he confuse it with inflammation?  He seen this and did nothing , said nothing.
Many doctors called me a lair who was a drug addicted alcoholic.  I was called lazy and I should be like a normal man who WORKS!  I ave na worked in soo long er went to school.  Last school check I received was in may of last year.  Since then I ave lost almost all of my electronics.  I am in a great depression.  I ave to get a hold of Denise and ask her if she ever seen a HP PAK, I know she does na know what it is.
This is how they want to put and end to their Indian Problem.
By ignoring and killing my people.

I could na make my appointment today.  My cousin was too busy, but I feel better so I jus rescheduled to next Wednesday.  I need more time to rethink everything I ave been through.  It really was a lifelong nightmare that made me crazy.  My mind is gone because of all this.  I am scared of going outside.  I get panick attacks and feel like I am going to get a seizure er heartattack.  Because of that I ave a hard time talking to people(especially woman).  It has all made me shy and withdrawn.  My whole life I struggled with my weight, my stomached worked at times almost too good.  I would get extremely overweight(I know now part of it was bloating)and I would lose it all very fast without trying.  Woman seen this and did na like me.  I was soo different every time one saw me.  I am too shy and withdrawn.  
I honestly wish this was a lie about all the discrimination but it is all too real.  I was na the only one suffering that night in the ER.  There were many other native men and woman who were forced to put up with them.  Money that was donated form Hobbema  built that hospital, MY PEOPLE PAID FOR IT.  We paid for it with monies we got from oil rights.  They hate us in a building that would na bet here without us.
I prey for em all and I know I can change no one, I can never change the way my so call better half thinks.
I am the one native man that they should na ave done this too.  I am smart and ave a grade 12 education and college classes.  I ave won awards for some of my English work throughout my life.  If they think they could do this to me and get away with it, they are wrong.  I will na let this happen to me or my people. 
I am the warrior nativesith and I know what my battle is now.  This is it, I am fighting for my life and the lives of my people.  We ave all been denied for too long.  Every indain in this area knows!  I fell like starting a protest in front of the hospital with a sign that says" why are you trying to kill us?"


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## CarolinAlaska

H. pylori infections are checked with upper endoscopies via biopsy.  It is routine.  I would be surprised if the surgeon who did an EGD did not do this.

Vitamin D helps with immunity, inflammation, mood stabilization (depression, anxiety) and so forth.  You can only get it through the sun and a few foods such as vitamin D enriched milk, farm fresh eggs and some fish.  Most people don't get enough.  The darker the skin is, the less your skin can absorb.  Darker skinned people tend to be more deficient.  Hope that helps.  Cheerbear, google vitamin D deficiency to get good information.


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## CheerBear12

Thank you your info really helped


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## nativesith

It is Helicobactor Pylori!  Decades I had it, now I am at great risk for Cancer.
That surgeon seen it did biopsies and said everything came up negative.  I personally know many that died of stomach/colon cancer.  This is happening everywhere I look and they done nothing!  People who are na sick are given opiate painkillers and then they sell em to those who need em.  This whole system is na working for us. 

That surgeon had to ave seen this.  He wanted me to leave right after I got in his office.  He was never clear if it was inflammation or infection.  He never considered answering any questions or giving me copies of any test results.  He basically told me to tell all my problems to my doctor.
Feel like this is a sick experiment of his.   It gave me a heart attack, I do na even know when it happened?!  No doctor could tell me that, all they say is I did ave one.
Would that infection be the reason why my knee and hip is soo messed up?
I had this since I was a child.
Look at this...
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/h-pylori-cancer


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## nativesith

I had the hiccups for like four hours!  It was until this guy came into my house drunk.  I got mad.  I told em to get the hell out, then I noticed my hiccups were gone.
But this kind of thing has been happening to me this whole time, drunk people trying to come over and ask me for everything.  This guy gets drunk and cries to me about his family.  He got money to get drunk but no money to help his family.  I used to listen to em before.  But enough is enough.  This whole time I ave felt like dieing I been getting harassed. I barely have enough for myself.


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## nativesith

Hiccups came back soon after.  Think I had em for like 6-7 hours yesterday.
That was almost getting unbearable.  Made my chest and throat hurt.  I keep tasting the taste of the antibiotics.  Drank soo much water trying to kill the hiccups.
I woke up in the middle of he night to poo and it was mad diarrhea.   Woke up later with a slight pain in my left side, only now it is on my back.
However, I do feel way better than I did before the antibiotics.  I can actually eat without my stomach doing flips er making mad noises.
After educating myself I know my water made this worse.  My tap water is overloaded with calcium.  I put a of it on the stove , soon after boiling the pot is caked with white stuff.  Freeze it same thing...there will be white calcium floating at the bottom.  This all mad the infections worse.  I tried the same experiment with my bottled water I buy.  It was na as bad as the tap water, but still calcium.  I am a poor man, I could na afford to pay 5 dollars a day for my water.  There were many times I was forced to drink that water.
Or could ave been my family's diet.  Before we ate all our food off our land.  Most of our food came form our lake, we ate fish everyday.  Once in a while we would get a deer er moose.  Years later I found rich people went to my lake made beach houses and their sewer went directly into the lake.  Then the farmers, they give their cows steroids and their waste runs off into the lake.  That has been happening for years and the lake is na usable anymore
They poisoned my family's food supply! I loved that lake like a family member and they killed it.  I remember swimming in it as a child, the water was clear.  Now it is brown with dead white fish everywhere.
I have learned what I ave rages in third world countries! I feel like the kids on the world vision commercials.  I was poor and sick and they would na help me , years and years I begged and cried for hep.  This medication did fall from the heaven, thank you Creator for my second chance.


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## nativesith

Now we all know what this is, I ave been trying to think back.  Think back to when I noticed everything bad started happening.
To do that, one must really try to understand where my family and I came from.  When I was born(1975) my people had NO running water in our houses.  That meant we had to go to a pump(unheated underground private well)to get our water.  That also meant we had to go outside to use a out house to go poo n pee.
Then there was our diet.  We were so poor we could na afford to drive into town for groceries every week or so.   My family hunted for our meat and we grew our own vegetables.  My Great Grandfather would go to our local Post Office to buy a few lil things like Coffee, Tea,Flour, Lard,Sugar, and a few things for me(like cereal, milk, candy).  That was it.
That was my life for the first five years of my life.  Eating fish almost everyday that came from our lake.  
1980 our band built our house with running water.  I remember being amazed and flushing the toilet a million times.  I looked at the tap in my kitchen for hours.
Soon after beginning to use the toilet I noticed my poo had blood in it and blood round it.
It was after that I suffered my first attack of pain.  I remember being in a car clutching my stomach rushing toward the hospital.  During that time I began getting bald spots on the back of my head, it got soo bad I had to cut my braids.  Rashes began.
That was how this all started.  A lifetime of mistreatment or straight up racism.
I am no part of Canada this proves I am in a 3rd world my whole life.
When I was a baby they said nothing would make me smile, they nicknamed me *Stoneface.*  My family exhausted themselves trying to get me to laugh or smile, I really never did.
Now when i eat I notice I get pain in back(round the kidney area) and pain and tenderness in hips.  Worse at night with slight fever on head and stomach.


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## nativesith

I feel like all the damned symptoms are returning.  Almost like it was before.
Pain in stomach, in joints(left hip is bad), extreme tiredness and diarehia.
Could Crohns come after H plori?  Could colonies of H Pylori in the stomach (Centered in the inflammation)by why the test came up negative.  Remember they tested for Crohns or UC.
Eating is becoming a problem again.


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## UnXmas

Hi nativesith,

I have read a few of your posts here and hope you don’t mind if I add some suggestions to the others’ ideas.

I think it may help you to separate your illness from the other troubles in your life. I was mistreated by a doctor. I ended up hating and fearing all doctors. I had to learn not to associate the whole profession with the negatives of one individual. Not all doctors will be racist, so when you see a new doctor, make sure you give him the benefit of the doubt. Many people here have experienced doctors not helping them or not taking them seriously, for a variety of reasons. One day you’ll find a doctor who is not racist and who is willing to help you. Make sure you don’t write them off too soon.

For example, one of your posts talked about how when you’d called your doctor’s office, the nurses asked you what you were ringing about. And you found this an invasion of your privacy and felt they were singling you out for inferior treatment. At my doctor’s surgery, the receptionists always ask what is wrong when you make an appointment. It allows them to judge how urgently you need to be seen and gives the doctor a heads up so he knows the situation by the time you arrive. So you may have read bad intentions in your nurses’ treatment of you that weren’t actually there. When we have been treated badly in the past we learn to expect it, but that can also mean we start seeing it even when it’s not present.

The other thing I wanted to recommend to you is to set some time aside each day to forget about your illness. I know it’s hard when physical symptoms demand our attention all the time. But we have to do what we can to minimise the amount of time and energy we put into thinking about them. Spend some time with your family or your work. And for that time, do everything you can to stop thinking about how you physically feel. Sometimes the symptoms are so severe we can’t possibly ignore them. Sometimes we are at appointments and going through tests and we have to think about it. But if you practice not thinking about it you might find it doesn’t overwhelm so much and doesn’t taint the good things you have going for you. Perhaps you could visit the members’ only forum here – the forum for non-Crohn’s discussion – and tell us all the positive things about your culture? Not all the discrimination you’ve experienced – that can be said somewhere else – but just all the things you love about it. Make a space where you only focus on good things.

It often takes a long time to get diagnosed. Doctors can’t diagnose us if our tests don’t come up with answers. They can’t start us on drugs for Crohn’s because the risks (e.g. from steroids) mean it would be unethical to give them to us without knowing it’s likely to work. This doesn’t mean they’re mistreating us necessarily – usually it just means we have something really complicated going on! Sometimes we just have to accept that it will be a long haul. Keep seeking answers and try to focus on the good things in your life so the bad things are kept in perspective.


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## nativesith

Well Un (I like dat) This had been the longest haul, feels like life was a test.  I ave never treated others the way I am. I never came out and said "Your Racist".  That would make it worse. I always try to smile(Really hard when everyone stares at my limp)I feel like a zombie when I walk, in fact I call it my a zombie walk.  I walk slow dragging my right.  
I fight a war everyday against myself fighting to smile through it all. I always consider the feelings of others, I can never be a mean or negative monster.  I know I do na want to think about myself, I want to run away from myself.
I do na want to center my thoughts round myself, I know that will lead to a negative sate of being.
Native life is hard with out something like this.
Pain is still in my left side constantly soo really trying to get that out of my mind is the hardest thing.
I wish it all a bad dream or a big fuking lie, but it is na.  I wish I could live with no pain.  Then the emotional pain, seems like na a lot of people believe the pain or its level.  I pushed some away. Those I felt did na care or would na.  I realize I did this my whole life. When ever some one got too close that when our relationship was over.  I feared what I would become, I did na want anyone to see me like dis.
I had a white girl in high school, I loved her!  But I pushed her away, since I thought I can never give her what her people can, I can na ask her to live like me.  First to thrid world.  She seen my life, but she cared.  She made all these plans with my life. We were going to get married and Go to university together.  It all scared me too much, her world.  Everyone hated that we were together, her father really did.  Which was a problem for me since he was my principal, let just say he made my life a hell.
After that the pain came back stronger than ever, they all said I was a alcoholic and forced me into Rehab.
She always will represent that life I could ave had.  It is hard forgetting about her, every time I think it is gone I get a flash of a dream and that reminds me.
I awake in tears.  Since I know I pushed soo many away like that, even in my dreams I say I can na go with em.  Now it is like I am pushing away my family, I do na tell them the whole story.
Sometimes I awake feeling like a wounded predator, scared, trapped and crazy like a fox!


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## nativesith

I barely made the doctor's appointment.  It was alot to process. He asked me how I feel. I told I feel terrible, pain is the first thing I feel in the morning and it is the last thing I feel when I pass out. Last night the pain was getting unbearable and the treatment I got in the ER (told em all about that)makes me na want to go there. When the pain gets that bad I can barley move.I question the way I feel, like constantly.Feels like bruises inside my stomach with joint pain. He said they did many tests while I was in the ER,(Even the one they made me wait for in the morning)that all came up negative.  Celiac , Hpylori...nothing.  He did say he suspects H Plori may be the cause.  Going through my record he said I had metro zoindol and flaygl which should ve taken care of that.    He said "This is UC or Crohns, I am sure of it."
He also said the GI thought the surgeon was a GI(Which he is na)which is why he refred me back to em.  So he phoned the GI and said That surgeon is na a GI, This guy need to see you NOW!  He has a flare up and it is not stopping.  He is losing hope.
He asked about my medical release.  I said I did na bring it in, he asked why.  I told em they would laugh at me with what he put on there.  First it says I am unable to do anything for at least six months...then right at the bottom it states Date when patient is able to work...JANUARY 31st 2013?!  They would ve turned me away.
He said the date is supposed to be 2014.
I feel better being taken care of by that man, I love em.  Everyone else tuned me away and said horrible things.  He gave me something for the pain.  I am in a better place now.
Bought a knee brace(Feels great) and D3 vitamins and started that.


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## CheerBear12

Good luck he sounds like he knows what he's doing I hope you can get treated properly now and get it sorted. When you next seeing him? let us know what happens


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## CarolinAlaska

That is great.  I hope that you get to see the GI doc soon with this doc's referral.  I hope he can fix your papers too.  Good for you for hanging in there and continuing to knock and wait for the Creator to answer.  Maybe this one is an angel...  I'm glad you got some relief today.


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## nativesith

My doc I got the impression he was steamed at the GI, he said he will make the appt and call me.
Mean time,I do feel better...I made a video of a car I made for a friend.  Back to the future car for Grand theft Auto, this is me online messin round.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOrMrybyBjY&list=UU5X3NwsRPoITR0iY6nfToRQ&index=1


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## CheerBear12

Glad you feel better and let us know what happens plz and the video doesn't work for me it says can't be shown on this platform


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## nativesith

Fixing my videos, it was because I put two Black Sabbath songs(Copyrights violation).  They will be available shortly.  Please come see my Channel on Youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/user/nativesith66?feature=watch
IandI will never forget or deny the angels I ave met ere.
Anyone notice the way I talk and my love for Bob Marley?  I ave accepted a lot of the Rastafarian faith as I own.  There is soo many similarities between em and I people.
IandI's idols were always men like him.  Bob Marley(His sons), Bruce Lee, and Jimi Hendrix.  All of these men were like I, they found an outlet to vent their frustrations.  Bob n Jimi had music, Bruce unleashed his fury with a fighting style that introduced the world to Mixed Martial arts.
I am na saying I am as great as any of IandI's idols...but I know my path now.
Treatment will make it possible 
Thank yall, I angels.
JAH RastafarI!


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## nativesith

I can notice less pain, when really sticking to a low residue/gluton free diet.
It is hard sticking to it, but I know if I stray off it I will pay for it later.  My family is really supporting me with this now.  My ma went to the band office. IDK who she talked to or what she said.  But she did get a $80.00 PO for ENSURE.  She said they want a list of foods I need from the doctor and they will do the same. 
 I wish the welfare was as understanding .  They refused my Medical Release and said I had to get it refilled.  My wife said to phone the clinic let em know, fax the paper and they will fax it back.  They said they do not phone doctors or clinics, that is our responsibility.  So I must get the doc to redo the release.


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## CarolinAlaska

Sheesh.


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## nativesith

Really makes me think they do na believe me or the doctor, or they are trying to make him second guess all this. They think I am trying to play this system...meanwhile I am losing everything I ave worth any value. I noticed the date  and I knew they would ave a problem with it.  I also knew, even though they ave a fax, that they would refuse to use it. Why ave a fax?
Social assistance...what assistance?
Every chance I ave they want to deny me and drag it out longer so they can save a few months of payment.
I am going to speak with my chief about this, that department is supposed to be there for us.  Now the doctor is doing his part, they deny me theirs.


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## CarolinAlaska

nativesith said:


> Really makes me think they do na believe me or the doctor, or they are trying to make him second guess all this. They think I am trying to play this system...meanwhile I am losing everything I ave worth any value. I noticed the date  and I knew they would ave a problem with it.  I also knew, even though they ave a fax, that they would refuse to use it. Why ave a fax?
> Social assistance...what assistance?
> Every chance I ave they want to deny me and drag it out longer so they can save a few months of payment.
> I am going to speak with my chief about this, that department is supposed to be there for us.  Now the doctor is doing his part, they deny me theirs.


Did the doctor try to correct it?  I hope it can be rectified quickly.


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## CheerBear12

So do I


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## nativesith

They are fighting against this.  They want me to feel guilty , like I am ripping off the system.

This is hard for me to do ...ask for help.  I hate it.  Like I admit defeat.  Last cheque I received was in may of last year.  Struggling since then.  I knew it would happen ...I warned my family of the hard times coming.  I saw the pain and hardship as a vision, a vision that would na go away.
Makes me question my mind, everyone thought I was the smartest guy round.  But I could na figure this out for the longest time.  I did na even know what a GI or Crohns was a few months ago.  My world I know, that world I do na.  I do na want to know it.
They always tried to make me into something I am na.  I am na a normal healthy person.  I can na do simplest things others take for granted.  
No mater what I do or what the doctor throws at this...I always feel pain.
I feel it first thing even before I awake and open my eyes.  It is my last hurdle at the end of each and every day.
Now there is more hurdles in my way...I am soo tired.   So tired of jumping through hoops like a bloody dog trying to win a blue ribbon.
Soon I am visiting my old college to let em know where I am at.  There was a couple classes I could na do last year.  Some teachers would na believe me and forced me to do many physical exercises that literally tortured me.  Everyday I said I was in pain and I was being forced to quit school soon.  I want the Dean to make it like I never took those classes.  I will take legal action if they do na.  Looking back at that I know that was na right.  My cousin and sister in law were in the same classes asking ,"WHY?!  Why do you do this to him?  We talk about racism and injustice everyday at this College, why can everyone open their eyes and see that this is happening to Floyd(my name)".  "Everyday for how long he is in pain and he still comes to school everyday, for what? To get this kind of treatment from our own?"
School...damn.
One thing that kept my spirit up, my dog.  His name is #2 lol.  He is my  #2.  For 8 years now he has been there for me everyday.  He protected me, kept me company, and loved me unconditionally.  He knows I am sick, he comes up to me sighs looking sad trying to lick and nibble on my hand.  I love em soo much I am afraid to lose em.  He is how old.
I ave three Pit Bull pups named Evil_Blunt, Three Socks, and JDMAlex(all named after my mod team friends who ave supported me since day 1).  They are 4 months old now and growing everyday.  It warms my hear taking care of em and watching run and play everyday.  I am training them and they are getting good, better than number 2.
When Number 2's time does come I ave 3 replacements.  I love my pets soo much, they are my family.  They always make me feel better.


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## nativesith

Well it two days left of the HP Pak and I am kinda scared to go without some thing like dat.
When I first started taking it, it cut the pain down.  But as the days went by I can feel the pain a lil bit more everyday.  Woke up with both sides in burning pain, went to the toilet with spraying diaheria.  But I ave been on the Low residue edit so should na that be expected.  This is hard a constant battle.  Eating...scared to do.  I know it will bring pain diarehia and hiccups.  Starting to feel like my pain has a life of its own.  It is alive within me making down, torturing and depriving me of sleep.  It is a demon tormenting me.  I know him, feel em everyday.  I hate him, wish he would go away!
I prey everyday for this to go away for myself and everyone else in pain.  I ave faith.
I know this will end, has to.


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## CarolinAlaska

Sometimes a side effect of the PPI that is used with H.pylori treatment is diarrhea.  It helps with the upper GI symptoms but can cause lower GI symptoms in some.  Perhaps another one can be tolerated better.


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## nativesith

Lot of diarrhea gas with no smell.  Pain in mornings and at night,  middle of day is the best time for me.  One day left of the HP PAK.
Last night I did something that had been bothering me for the longest time.  My laptop was dead, and ere I fix laptops n PC's?! Few months ago my laptop broke down, with the wickedest virus I ever seen.  I could na figure it out back then.  I was in soo much pain...I could na get past it til now.  Solution just hit me..I did it!  It is alive!  I still got IT!
My laptop IS ALIVE! Bwa hahahahaha!


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## CheerBear12

Glad you have fixed your laptop it's a shame your not sorted yet


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## nativesith

Wish I could fix myself like I do with PC/Laptops...
Woke up in pain, rolled round for about an hour before giving up and jus getting up.
Forced me awake...everyday really it does this.  A couple days I felt almost normal ...cam crashing down when I went to sleep and awoke feeling that pain.
My sister is schizophrenic, she hears voices.  I fear becoming like that as well.  It is like I ave two personalities.   Normal native and sick native.  I am na myself at all anymore. I look n act different.  This forced me to change.
Gotta cal the doc today and get the release going.


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## nativesith

I woke in pain...last night I felt good.  I am just on ENSURE, now.  Anytime I put any food in it...it is like a constant storm of thunder, gas, and pain.  Days when I eat and I lie down is when the storm begins...my wife says she can hear it all night.  4 Ensure yesterday and the storm settled a bit.
It is hard when I ave a home business.  I feel like like relaxing.  But I must make money.
I must push EVERYTHING aside(try to put on a happy face)and get down to business.
The whole reason my business does well?  I under cut everyone.  When one goes elsewhere they pay like a hundred dollars jus to ave some one look at it.
I will charge 50 to clean for viruses, and 80 for any major work(not including any extra hardware one could need).
However , even with my prices some still complain and want to pay less.
I am getting a lot of this lately...I broke down last night and told one person.  I ave a disease.  The fact I can even do this is unreal, and at this price.  You will na find some one like me any where willing to do that much work for what?
If ya do na like it...take it to the geek squad where this 80 job will be doubled.
Your choice.
He paid...lol.
Can anyone else ere see their heartbeat?  I can.  I see it on both wrists.  Ever since I was a child.  Medicine men of my tribe seen it and their eyes went wide.  They tried grabbing at it with their hands to take it away, never went away.  Ever since losing soo much weight in a hurry it goes further up both arms.  Almost up to the elbows.  I never ave to check my pulse, I can see it.

This is me...for all who want to know what I look like.


----------



## HuN

hey , nativesith 

keep on fighting dude !


----------



## nativesith

Thanks brother, glad you made it ere. 
That is my team mate, friend, and all round kewl guy.
He really has taken over my duties as the leader of the Psx-Scene GTA mod squad.  The squad led the world in script mods of C++.  Some ave taken the work as their own and even went as far as selling it.  We do na condone anyone selling our mods.
That is the one thing I take pride in, that kept me going, it gave me strength.
My team...and our work.
I love those guys!:heart:


----------



## nativesith

Today is a good day.  I felt really good. I felt good enough to ave almost a full meal?!
It did na hurt my stomach it did na upset it er I am na in pain now.
I felt really tired afterwards and slept for about 3 hrs.
I still can na believe that.


----------



## Hope345

That is so great to hear.


----------



## CheerBear12

Hope it continues to get better for you


----------



## nativesith

Thank you two...i really am learning how to deal with this.
I know what to eat and when to eat it.  When the pain starts I stop all food...even the low residue.  i just stay on Ensure.  Then when it settles I go back on Low residue.
It is a war, but know I know how to arm myself.
One issue I am aving is flu like symptoms of sneezing and runny nose.  Morning again is the worst time of dat.  Some mornings I feel nauseous from dat.
Marijuana saved my life.  That was all I had before.  It made the stomach better and made the nauseousness go away.  Next visit i am going to ask for medicinal marijuana.
Also metabolism...would losing too much weight too fast effect it?
How many calories should I be trying to get everyday?
IDK...everyone seems soo concerned about my weight.  I want to get down to my ideal weight , which is 150lbs(so aboot 30 - 25 lbs to go!).  I know that would make a difference.
I started training my muscles again...starting with my triceps.
I am starting slow so do na worry aboot dat.


----------



## CheerBear12

I have three meals a day and a snack between each meal I want to put some on so if I lose some after surgery I only lose what I've put on well that's the plan but I can't seem too put any on:/ my normal weight is 7 stone and I went down to 5 stone before they operated men are supposed to have 2000 calories a day. I'd say go for more than that I know it's easier said than done when your in pain constantly and got big D. Keep us posted


----------



## Hope345

Metabolism can certainly be affected by what we eat.  Too many carbs slow us down.  Has to be a good balance of proteins,  some carbs and nutritious foods.   You get a lot of what you need in those Ensures.    
Sounds like you are on the right track.  Under 2000 calories will help you to lose weight.  Just make sure there is plenty of protein, especially if you are working out.   Too little calories will not give you enough energy. 

Have you started your music?


----------



## nativesith

My business and this sickness gets in the way of everything I want to do like music.
It is like clockwork...the minute I get busy on a project.  Someone comes knockin at my door with a PC, it jus happened minutes ago.  Mornings /afternoons i am cranky.  I just told em Come back Later!  Honestly, even if i told them what was wrong they would na understand what I said.    When i talk tech no one can understand, like a different language.
Money ...need it.  I need it for more ensure.  I need materials for my drum.
It is a struggle.


----------



## CheerBear12

Have you tried fortisip protein drinks? There are 300 calories in a bottle. Taste disgusting but they do the trick put weight I got them from my doctor.


----------



## nativesith

Trying any other drinks than the ensure gives me Thunder belly lol.
More n more I try different foods n drinks the more I jus want just ensure alone.
I drink herbal tea, water and ensure.  When i feel better I will try a banana.
I jus got a netbook to work on...back to work.


----------



## nativesith

Well ere we are months later still kinda at the same point.  Stomach is thunderin with pain and a bit of blood.  Doing everything I am supposed to do.
For a couple days it almost felt normal,...all cam crashin down again.Everyone says it takes years to find this, I can understand that.  But a decade?
November 2004 was the very fist morning I awoke in pain on both of sides. This is going on 9 years now. Minutes turn to hours,days ,weeks,months, and years.  Every one that passes I can feel a lil bit of myself pass with em.
Last doctor visit I told em I want to listen to people who tell me this can only get better.
But it is hard when one feels like everyday might be the last.
How long must this go on?
I am still fighting...I fight through the pain for my family and children. I fight this everyday to be the son, father, husband and provider I always ave been.
Made a lot of money the past couple day, guess I worked too hard.
I can na even go out to spend the money.  Whadda joke.
Lie a squirrel harvesting food for a dark winter to come?
IDK...
I bled a lot last night with extreme pain in left side (bottom).  This time the blood was in the poo.
Jus went a few minutes a go and it looked like poo colored almost red.
I ave nothing but my high blood pressure meds, d3, b12.  I did drink a ensure.
IDK feel really bad today.


----------



## nativesith

Still feeling bad...
Pain is like a wall er hurdle.  Everyday I met it first thing.  Sometimes it is na that high, I can get over it. Sometimes it is over my head.  It is a all day struggle trying to conquer it.
My bones...my hip hurt really bad last night.  It was almost unbearable.
No word from Doc or GI...no appt til Mar 20th.  That is a long haul.
Is it conceivable that I would na see the GI until after the 20th?
Trying to understand this...no matter how many times I think about it, I can not.
I can na understand, WHY THIS IS TAKING SO LONG!
I am trying to hold on...but it is hard when I seem to be going nowhere FAST.
Fatigue is bad, even posting seems hard now.
While searching for my high blood pressure medication (Which I am running out of)I found some Prevacid and Buscopan!  I took a couple and I am starting to feel a lil better, thank the Creator!


----------



## Hope345

"Prevacid and Buscopan! I took a couple and I am starting to feel a lil better, thank the Creator!" 


Can you keep some of that medicine on hand at all times?  If it helps, use it.  Hope you get feeling better soon.
j


----------



## nativesith

Well...I received my medical check from the band today.  Fought really hard for this, the workers made me go back n forth from ere to the doctors office how many times.
$80.00?!
That is what a IBD person will receive in my band.  OMG!
I was honestly expecting more.  I can na do nothing with this.  I will have to spend 30 jus going into town.
In may it will be a year since I received a big check.  I am losing everything.
this is the kind of help I get.  Bloody hell.
Stomach still hurts I do na feel like going any where especially with that amount.
IDK.
My life...this is what it is. Missing out ...getting next to nothing.
I want to do so much.  I want to go deep sea diving. I want to swim with tropical fish, octopus, and other deep sea creatures I dream t that would take me away.  I want to be a child of the sun as I was always meant to be.


----------



## nativesith

I am in bad shape I really do na know how else to say it.  Everyday it feels really bad.  Waiting on call that never seems to come.  Welfare workers denied me for the millionth time, which I expected really.  I give up on that.  I  am not going to get any help from anyone, I have always known this since I was a child.  Asking for help just made it worse.  Made me do a crapload of paperwork and running round for nothing.
Next visit I am telling the doctor they did na give me medical and I give up ion that. I want to ask him when will the GI see me?  I have been waiting too long.
By the time I am officially diagnosed it will be too late.
Money I make is spent on my family...there never really is enough.  It is always a struggle.  I ave no money for a vehicle or home phone.
If anything happens I might na be able to phone a ambulance or get a ride to a ER.
Plain and simple fact is NOTHING can be done without a DX.  When will that be?  When I am dead?!


----------



## nativesith

Losing it...I give up.
I give up asking for help. I give up pushing to find out what this is.
Why try and stop this?  It does na seem anyone else is trying to.
I am a Indian man who will never get any kind of assistance or help of any kind.
I have accepted this my whole life.  I accept my death, I know it will come soon.
I thank everyone for helping me deal with with this.
I can na rush a doctor er GI in Canada. Seems like they do not want to talk to me or see me.
It has been too long...I am afraid.  I am afraid what ever chance I may ave had ...is now long gone.
I ave no energy er resources to fight this anymore.


----------



## CheerBear12

You can't give up please no don't you can do this we care


----------



## CarolinAlaska

If you give up, who then will fight?  Even if no one loves us, we must love ourselves.  Stand up once again, Native.  Stand up because you are Native and you can rise again no matter how much they push you down.  Stand up because you want an answer and if you can find it, then you may be able to help all your family members who are also held back.  Don't give up.  Fight on!


----------



## upsetmom

I know this is hard.... BUT PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP..:ghug:


----------



## nativesith

I know you all care...
All the neglect I experience is rubbing off on me. Every bad attitude is taken in.  Going out I experience nothing but negatively on every level.
Transportation and money have become my biggest issues.  Even if the miracle happens of the GI calling me, IDK how I am going to see him.  IDK if I will make my next appt on the 20th for sure.
Poor with no transportation, makes it all worse.
Even if I had na given up, it would still be going in the same direction it was before.
Almost ten years of complaining about this...still in the same condition.
I want to believe this will get better...but everything I am experiencing would suggest otherwise.


----------



## Hope345

We do care, you have lots of friends who are with you 100%!!!


----------



## upsetmom

Native yesterday i was looking to see if you had posted but there was nothing and i was starting to get worried...

Just remember we care and we're here for you.


----------



## nativesith

I would never harm myself.  My life has been filled with suicide of friends and family.When I said I give up , I really meant on Doctors and Gi's.

Waiting on call from GI for 3 months now,doctor another 15 days. Must arrange transportation for those days with very little in my pockets.  My financial situation and modes of getting any where is what adds to this making it all worse.
It is like I must be rich or have a lot of money to be able to help myself.  I must have money to leave my house.  I must pay to go anywhere.  I must make more money to have a vehicle for my medical transportation.  It is going to take a few months of saving most of what I make to do this.  I will have to ask my family to make more sacrifices for me.  This has already taken soo much outta us.  I feel like i asked my family for too much, need to relax for a while.
Spend soo much on myself and this.
I feel soo tired.


----------



## CarolinAlaska

I'm sorry quality medical care is so unavailable to you.  Makes me sick and sad to hear it.  Socialized medicine sucks.


----------



## nativesith

Since it is soo long till my next visit...
I tried making an appointment with the doctor on reserve.
I just learned Dr. Warner was unhappy with the state of our medical center and the quality of care for it's patients.  She handed in her resignation, last Monday.  This was the closest option I had.
She knew how serious this was and tried to help.  Now she is gone...
Another option taken away.  Do na have many left.


----------



## nativesith

I know now I did na get medical social assistance.  Why?!
My doctor signed and filled out every section and did it as they wanted it.
My Mother and Uncle both get medical assistance and what I received is no where near that amount.
Also , when one is on medical, one is never asked to re apply for the time stated on the release.  Mine says a year.  Guess what social assistance jus asked me to do again?
Re apply!
I told em I would re apply ...only after I speak with my doctor about this.
It seems really wrong to me that his release was na followed or taken seriously.  They made me go back n forth to the doctors office and the band office how many times jus to deny me?  Those rides cost me more than 80 dollars.
All I got was 75 extra for ENSURE.  Others who receive medical almost double what I receive.  All this visiting with social assistance has really put me under their spotlight.  They want my wife to go to work, never mind watching over me and taking care of me.
I want to ask my doctor why?  Why would they na give me medical, why would they na listen to his release?  Why is the GI taking forever?

I want to inform him that painkillers are losing their effect and I need something stronger.
I know I should na try to take em...but what other option do I ave?
Lil Money...with no treatment for how long?
That is why I want to give up on doctors.  My doctor said this would happen.  Said I would get more help. He also said the GI would call soon.  Both of these did na happen.
I set up a appt with a Lawyer...I ave had enough!
Enough BS from my Band office and from the Medical system.  I am going to sue everyone for what they ave done to me.
Again I am really sorry if I scared anyone...I would never harm myself or anyone else.  My life has seen too much suicide(lost way to many loved ones), never is a option.


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## nativesith

Just when I thought today was going to be like every other day.
I got the call I ave been waiting for almost three months.
Appointment for GI is on Monday at 830, doctor even set up ride.
It is all happening very fast now,  Thank the Creator!  
It feels really bad today.  Pain nauseousness, fatigue,Flu-like conditions, hot/cold feelings, bleeding(last night).
I am scared .


----------



## upsetmom

Good luck with your appointment.


----------



## CheerBear12

Good luck and keep us informed plz


----------



## nativesith

615 am on Monday morning I will be going to Edmonton for the GI appointment.
First time in my life I visited a GI, I really do not know what to expect.

I just hope this goes faster, leading to a somewhat pain free life.
I just want to live my life.  I feel I never really had, living with Crohns for most of it.


----------



## CheerBear12

I'm hoping they give you the meds and treatment you need got my fingers crossed for you hoping it goes well.


----------



## CarolinAlaska

I'm so glad to hear that you got the phone call and that you get to see the GI.  Praising the Creator here too!  Try to write out the details of your GI history, when different symptoms started and so forth, if you can remember.  Try to remember what has worked for you in the last few months as well.  I am praying this goes well.


----------



## nativesith

This new one is really bugging me.  Each night now I get a pain in my back (lung location).  It hurts sitting.  When it happens the pain in my side moves to just underneath my left ribs.  I notice a slight wheeze.I have been trying to eat more(white bread, yogurt, Ensure,White Rice,Soup and Chicken). 
I am going to not going to eat anything tomorrow and see if it happens again.  Thinking my stomach gets bloated and is pushing on my lung by end of day.


----------



## CarolinAlaska

Floyd, I've been getting a similar pain, and I'm pretty sure it is my kidney.  It is worse at night when I lay down or sit back in a chair.  Drink lots of liquids and see if you can flush it out...

White bread is not a good option (gluten).  Maybe the wheeze is a sign that you have an allergic component to your problem?


----------



## nativesith

Would having this effect my blood?
I remember ever since I was a small child...
I remember being surrounded by others who had head lice.  My grandmother and mother fought em off constantly.  They would go through everyone finding em in everyone.
When they got to me...they always found nothing.  They could never understand why I did not get them.
I can honestly say head lice seem not to like me at all, which I have no problem with lol.
But it always made me wonder...


----------



## CarolinAlaska

I don't know any connection, but mosquitos chow on me but don't touch my husband...  I think it must have to do with your pH or the amount of carbon dioxide your skin puts off or something.  I bet there is a reason, but I don't know the answer.  Interesting question!


----------



## nativesith

That question drove me crazy my whole life.  How could a person be literally surrounded by those things and not get any?
Diet is confusing.  I was going by the low residue diet at first, which was why I was eating White Bread.  But then the gluten free.  Is there not a Gluten free low residue diet list?
Doctors are no help with this and I expect it from the GI as well.
Looking at ingredients no product claims there is gltuen in it(like the bread) making it harder.  Wonder if Soy has anything to do with this?  Soy is in everything!
Soylent green!


----------



## nativesith

Yesterday I made a bit of money...so I sent my wife to get some food(Yogurt and Ensure for me and regular food for the rest of the family).  While in town she also grabbed my info sheet from the doctor's office.  Now I now the GI name is Dr. Lim and the appointment is a assessment not a procedure.  This sheet also has specific instructions on how to get there.

I honestly thought I was doing alright.. but I am getting sharp pains in my left.  I just used the toilet and seen blood.


----------



## CheerBear12

Oh god tell your gi what's been happening all these months  and yrs he hopefully will treat you good luck and keep us informed plz


----------



## upsetmom

Native make sure you write down everything that's been happening to you so you don't forget when you get there. 
Also write down any questions.

I hope you finally get some answers.


----------



## Hope345

floyd,

We also had a consulatation with the GI before any more treatments.  It is just normal procedure.   Hopefully the GI will start you on the medications needed to treat you as soon as possible.   

GI's see so many patients, it is good to have all that you want to say ready to go, with current symptoms and past treatments, and symptoms.

We all hope he can find the best treatment for you.....


----------



## CarolinAlaska

Floyd, the following foods have gluten:  wheat, barley, spelt and rye.  If you check for these things in your foods you will get a good start.  There is gluten hidden in other things, but those are the big ones.  If you go to the celiac websites they will help you figure it out too.


----------



## nativesith

I am flaring up NOW! Bloated, gassy, cramping, discomfort,stomach and joint pain, flu like symptoms(hot/cold w/ a lot of flem),waking in the night, bled past two days n I know I will see blood later.  This does na feel good.
I have stated the process of writing down what I went through.
I cut out all the Gluten, Now I know what it is.
Makes me act like a azz, I snap once in a while outta nowhere. It makes me feel real bad.
I really have to control what I say.
It is the pain talking...it is getting to be more of a struggle/fight against this. Everything i do is centered round this.  Preparation or actions against this. The food I eat the liquid I drink.  This is my war/test.
The whole time I keep myself busy working , trying to make money by doing what I love.  I love working with technology.  Even crohns can na get in the way of that.  i have soo much work to do today, it is crazy.
I prey my war/test ends soon, please let Dr. Lim see this and treat it.
I want to get better.


----------



## nativesith

Well...I knew this would happen.  In the back of my mind I knew.  I put my faith in my band's  Medical Transportation.  I phoned there on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Driver told me to be ready at 6:15 am...i was ready still waiting.  It is now 7:02am I am still waiting.  Appointment is at 8:15am.  I fear I will not make it.  The info sheet states...I miss this and another will not be available for months!
Why!  Why does crap like this keep happening to me!  Put my faith into others.  Waiting on THIS appointment for my whole bloody life and now I must wait how many more f'n months!
NO!!!!!!
I am soo raising hell at the band office in a hour!  Where in the HELL is this jackass!?
They ave done this to my family and I before.  When i tell em what happens they blame me.  They say they were waiting for me.  Staring out my front window all morning...no way i could ve missed em. It is now 7:30 am...
IDK what to do anymore...every time I think I am going forward I am blocked by my situation.  Hard not to blame myself for anything.  I simply can not do much of anything.  Being forced to count on people I do not even know...guess it is bound to happen.  Thinking about calling the gi ...but I fear he will not want to hear from me now, and I do na even see my doctor til the 20th.  Could call his office and tell the receptionist.  Do na really see a point though...
Damn I hate mondays!
Bled soo much this past weekend...now this?
Creator help me!!!!


----------



## Hope345

Floyd, did anyone ever show?   I am so sorry.  You have certainly done all you could.


----------



## nativesith

No one showed up...I guess it was payday for the workers last week.  When they got paid they simply just pushed my paperwork aside and forgot about it.  No one was ever on the way. I can na believe this!  I talked to that worker last week!  She said to be ready at 615 am monday morning!
I phoned the doctors office and told em what happened.  They said I must wait til June now. I was so upset , I had to be alone.
My wife and mother continued phoning round after I went into my room.  They got everyone at the doctors office to agree with us(Unfair and not my fault).  So the doctor talked to the GI again explained what had happened.  Appointment is on again for next monday.  I am na trusting medical transportation EVER again.  First they left me at the dentists and now they lied to me saying they would be ere at 6 15 am.
My Brother insists on driving that day.
I will na miss that appointment next week.


----------



## Hope345

I know it is so frustrating for you.   I would be mad too!!!
Maybe it will turn out better doing it next week.   Hang in there.  What a great brother you have.      And your wife and mother were so great to get on the phone and get you another appointment!!!!     You seem to be surrounded by people that love you 

and you have all of our support too.:hug:


----------



## CarolinAlaska

I'm glad your doctor helped to intervene and your family and everyone.  I'm sorry the transportation was not reliable.  I'm glad you have someone who can take you next week.  I'm sorry you have to wait another week.  <<<Hugs>>>


----------



## nativesith

I have a really good friend who works for medical transportation for another band.
He says when that happens there really is only one reason.  Co ordinates provide for their families first then the rest of the band. He said one of their families medical issues cut me off. 
 "In any Band Office...choices are left in the hands of too many.  Too many have a say.
If one says no , everything could be stopped.  It is not right.  They act like its their money.  They work for us, and this is the kind of things that happen?  It happens in my band office too, and if I say anything...I will be fired," my friend from band medical informed me.
I am na going to give another chance.  First they left me at the Dentists office.  I waited 3 hours until the office shut down before I started walking home. I remember staggering down a Hiway with a head full of Novocane.
Then this...they lied. They told me it was all right.  The ride would be here at six fifteen.
Never again will I listen to them or ask for their help.  I must make money to help myself.
That is the only way.  I feel like someone has a gun to my head.  Telling me I must do everything for my self.  Forcing me to work when I feel like resting.  Fatigue is the worst, but I feel I would walk five hundred miles if it meant I would get better.
I feel so lost most days...in pain.  It has to get better.


----------



## nativesith

Today I wanted to try something.  I wanted to see how the pain felt without any painkillers.
Boy, that was a bad idea.  Pain was unbearable. I must ve went to the bathroom like 3 times within a hour. Felt almost like razors were comin out with blood and diahreahia(There was blood in and round it).  The fever was present with aching all over (more so in lower body like my legs). It feels really hot in my head and chest n stomach, legs feel cold.Flem got really bad like uncontrollable.  Overwhelmed I felt soo nauseous.
When I flare up(like I am now) and use nothing for the pain, it becomes soo scary.  Honestly feel like death is coming.  
When I take em , I feel better with less pain overall and the fever is less.
For these past years I ave been torn between this choice.  My choices?  I could feel the pain and feel like close to death.  Or I could take something for the pain and mask it.
Some say I ave become addicted...But I say I am addicted to feeling somewhat normal.
Simply put...how far this has gone on...I feel like I can na eat anything without getting past this pain.
IDK what else to say . Only that this pain started long ago...before I even had any clue what pain killers or crohn's was.
It is really my only way out as we speak.


----------



## Hope345

At this point, you  know you have to take them.  It is obvious to all of us you are doing everything you possibly can to get the right treatment. This GI needs to know how serious you are about getting better.   

I know some others get temperatures with flares.  Your body is trying to heal itself, but cant.   Hopefully they can get you going in the right direction.

take care


----------



## nativesith

I know after this last flare that the hemmeroids are back n worse.  Before the procedure on Dec 27th, they never hurt like this.  Now it hurts to sit, I cam feel em when I am standing. I remember sitting down on the floor and getting this feeling before(few weeks ago).    Almost blocking up, really must be like diarehia er very soft to get by.  This does na feel good with all the other pain.
I ran out of B12 and my High Blood Pressure Medication with no appt til the 20th.
I prey I make it.
Took a long bath and a couple pain killer, feel better.  But I am scared.
This feels worse than before I went in in december.  I thought it would ave been resolved by now.  I am scared cuz i do na want this to get any worse, how much worse could it get?


----------



## Goldfish

Hi there. Welcome. Just read your thread and am delighted that you have been so vocal and not letting stupid doctors get the better of you. You sound like you are determined to get this sorted and that is the best way to be so be very proud of yourself!! Try not to get too worked up if that is possible and take one day at a time. *We are all here for you* with the best advice we can give. From an old comedy tv series I want to say to you "Don't let the buggers get you down!" Stay strong.


----------



## CarolinAlaska

Floyd, I'm sorry it is so bad again.  Don't forget about the hot baths for your hemorrhoids.  Don't just stop your pain meds again.  They will need to be weaned off when the time comes.  Can you call your doc for a refill on the B12 and BP meds?


----------



## nativesith

Hot baths are the best thing right now, still feelin em.  Honestly, siiting up staight is so hard now.   So need a pillow, sitz bath and probably more(cream).  Just the pillow n bath will cost me over 50 dolllars, money I do na have right now.  I am trying to save up for my ride to Edmonton on Monday.  I will na miss that appt.
It is hard na to get worked up.  My life ...it is a tarpit.  I was trying to wade through this.  Struggling , fighting against it.  This slowed me down and got in the way of everything.  Sides burn with pain the more I struggle.
It truly does drive me mad.  I do watch a lot of comedies, movies, anime, etc.
It is made worse when my CFW ps3 died.  I can na write and test my scripts.  Without my work I feel soo empty.  I am saving up for a new one.  But finding a 3.55 ps3 is very hard.
I will figure it out and get back to work eventually.
My ma went to town to see a doctor.  She got me some cream for my butt ....feels better.
But when I was putting it on I noticed a bump located on the top side.
I fear it could be the start of a fissure or fistula.  Please no!


----------



## CarolinAlaska

Don't fear until you know for sure.  Hopefully the doc can tell what it is on Monday.  I'm sorry your PS3 died.


----------



## upsetmom

Good luck on Monday and remember we'll all be thinking of you.:ghug:


----------



## nativesith

Thanks my angels.
You know...after almost a  week. I am kind of glad I had a week more to think about all of this.  When I say this has been going on for far too long i really mean it.  I had crohns for soo long it made me crazy.  My mind does na work as it should recognizing all that is happening to me.  I am a dazed man most of the time, trying to make sense of it.  Feels like a bad dream i can na wake up from.
Any way, in the late 90's the bleeding got really bad. I was feeling fatigued and seeing bright red blood at almost every bathroom trip.  I kept telling my family doctor that I was bleeding and feeling like I did not want to do anything.  Finally he set up a scope with the same surgeon who did my last one in 98.  He did not take any biopsies that time and said he seen minor hemmeroids that required no treatment at the time. That was the same year my first child was born, Emily.
2004 i awake with pain in both sides and still bleeding. The pain continued ...I was diagnosed with high blood pressure soon after.  2005-6 I kept complaining to my doctor(even started seeing every doctor I could which made him angry with me) about the pain.  Xrays , Ctscans showed I have artheritus in my lower back. So now I have bleeding, high blood pressure, fatigue,and unexplained weight loss(to which my doctor said"that's good you need to lose another 100lbs"),.Now I can feel that in my knee and hips, even in my shoulders and elbows. 
98 I weighed 350 lbs...I now weigh about 170lbs. All my old co workers from even past 98 remember me complaining about my stomach back then!
All that with pain, bloating, constipation, flu like syptoms(runny nose, slight fever)affects sleep waking me up several times every night,diarehia,rashes...ETC. 
List goes on and on...  I have not worked for about 5 years, I was in school last year. They forced me to quit, it was effecting my attendance and grades. I thought it was going to be better by now.  Last year it was not THIS bad. 98 is really when I wish i would ve seen a GI.  Would not have got this far.  
Everyday is a struggle now, i really need help of my GI and GP now more than ever.  As well as my family.  My brother...IDK where I would be without him taking me there.  My ma and wife...without them fighting for me I would na even have this appt on Monday.
I just need to see the GI and tell em this.  I need to see my GP to ask em for Medical Marijuana and better pain killers. How long will it be til I am tested,diagnosed and treated.  I do not want to be running back n forth from my house to his office to the pharmacy every few weeks or feel like I am sacrificing or torturing myself.  That would save me money and help my pain.  Money is a huge issue now.  Medical release did not work out at all how I thought it would.
Trying na to think about my butt right now.
Also trying to make money for a 3.55 ps3 , I got 30.  I think I will need 120.  Hope I can make that tomorrow.
I will let you all know what happens.


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## nativesith

I love my brother.  
I was stressing out.  I was losing it because the gas voucher we got.  It is for tomorrow at 8 am.  But the appointment is at 9am.  There is no way we can make it from here to there within a hour. Just collecting this would make us late. I do not want to be late I told my bro. We have to leave before 8 am.  We do na even know really where this place is.  Might take a while just locating it.  Why is it always soo hard trying to get/collect help from my band? 
He said we can leave before 8 am (he has enough gas to get us there n back)and then when we get back we can collect the voucher.  Guess I am really upset because I do na think I made enough today for my side project.  My cfw ps3, only have 60 need like 50 more(at least).  It really is torture with the pain, as well as not being able to write,test, and  try my friends new scripts.  I can na do what I love to do right now...
Money...always a damned money issue.
Last week the pain was unbearable. Feel better the past few days. I prey it goes well tomorrow.  I need a diagnosis soo bad.  If i had that I could do more than just write scripts.  I could get back to my life.


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## CheerBear12

Good luck hope it goes well keep us informed thinking of you and hope you get what you desperately need


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## nativesith

Well ...my brother woke up late as usual.  We left my house racing toward Edmonton at 15o km / hr!  That was scary!  But I made it.
I seen Dr. Lim.  It is funny, since he had a lot of bad things to say about the surgeon i seen for the scopes previously.  He said he talked to the surgeon.  He was not clear with the GI about inflammation or infection(GI says it has to be inflammation).  Biopsies...were taken from the effected areas of my stomach. Surgeon said results were normal?!  Impossible if they were in fact taken from the inflamed parts which would've shown some type of abnormality.
He asked me how I was feeling...I said torture is the only word I can use to describe this.He then asked for the symptoms I have been having. Told em everything.  He asked about the last scope.  I told em it was real bad.  After everything became worse.  It was that month I lost 40 lbs!  He said the bad news is we have to do that again, in two weeks.  Then three weeks for the results, however he can recognize Crohns when he sees it.  If I do have Crohn's(which is more than likely, his words)he will tell me when I come to.
I may have a Dx in two to five weeks from now, I still can na believe it.
He had soo many pictures of Crohns in different stages all over his office.  My wife almost cried realizing what I am going through(really for the first time).  He even told us there could be complications.  The shape my stomach is in, it could be easy to tear.  If a tear happens I could die.  That is something they failed to inform me of last time.
It really seems like that surgeon is trying to make everyone think he is a GI or stomach specialist. He had my doctor, GI and I  all fooled.  Just seeing that guy has made me feel soo stupid.
I am so happy I met dr. Lim today.  I know he will find and diagnose this.
What next?
Appointment on Wednesday.  The scopes I know are going to take soo much out of me. I really need something stronger for the pain.  I do not want to be take 5-6 pain killers at once for pain. One would be better.  Medical Majiuana and my medical release(which did not go through).
Hopefully I can get the help I need from my doctor now.


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## CheerBear12

Hope they sort this out for you after all you have been through and going through. Keep us posted he sounds like he knows what he is doing. I hope manage to sort it before it tears I know that feeling my bowel could of burst at any time which would of killed me after only 4 months of probs. So grateful for surgeons who saved my life literally. Take care and keep us posted.


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## nativesith

Yeah ...I am scared of tearing now.  Scared of another scope/endoscopy.  Last one was soo brutal.  I remember feeling like close to death and thinking no one was doing anything.
I came to pale and lifeless crying.  I hate this...
I hope and prey...that this is not as bad as I think it is.  Getting worse, days when I flare up are unbearable.
My brother was talking about taking me to a concert of my choice.  We can make plans, but I do not know if I can make it on that day.
"This is life with Crohn's."I informed my brother."Sucks...I know."


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## CarolinAlaska

I'm so glad that your encounter with your GI finally happened and that he seems to be good at what he does.  I will pray that there will be no complications (tears) with your scope.  If it isnt Crohn's I pray he will figure it out right away.  Now for some pain relief from your GP... I hope that appt goes well too


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## CheerBear12

Oh god sorry I didn't mean to scare you even more the week before I got admitted my colleague had commented saying you look like death unbeknown to me at that point I was seriously ill close to death. I hope when they do the scope it won't be as bad as what you are thinking. Take painkillers before you have scope hopefully they will take away the pain. Hope the appt with doctor goes well too thinking of you.


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## nativesith

My family is scared about the scopes.  Everyone noticed the effects it had on me. It has to be done, now.  This one I know will have a way better outcome.  I will get treatment...soon.


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## CheerBear12

It will be over soon and it will be worth it coz it will get you a diagnosis and treatment. Then you can have your life bk


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## nativesith

Hope n prey that is the case.  I just came from my bathroom where I seen blood in my poo. It hurt coming out.  Felt like it would never stop.
GI thinks the bleeding is from the hemmeroids.  I am pretty sure it is coming from inside.


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## CarolinAlaska

There are such things as internal hemorrhoids, which are inside.


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## nativesith

Well there was a little blood around it, but it was mostly in it making it red(all towards the end of my bathroom trip).  Drowsy with pain just left of my belly button(pain is getting worse).   
I looked at my butt for a while and even poked round inside.  I did not feel a huge hemorrhoid or a sharp pain. Unless it is way up there. Sometimes there is blood around it and others it is in it.  I know I seen blood way too much, in the past two weeks alone.


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## CheerBear12

How are you today?


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## nativesith

Pain n pressure feels bad, pain in front just left of belly button. Two nights(on the GI appt day) ago it was unbearable.  Idea of tearing is really scaring me now.
Trippin now, wondering if I will end up in jail today.  I am asking for Medical Mary Jane.  Last time I tried the doctor threatened to call the RCMP, that was right after I was dianosed with Artheritus(A year before that I was Diagnosed with High blood pressure).
I spend a lot of what I make on marijuana for myself.  But it is never enough.  I need more.  I want to cook with it, eat it.  Recipes need at least 7-4 grams of it, you know how much that would cost street value?  Most recipes are for three or four servings and that would require half an once(14 grams). Street value of half an once?  One hundred and fifty dollars?! Just to eat with that for three meals a day by myself would cost 150 a day(not including what I smoke).  I go without it I am worse for the wear.
I wish doctors could look on the bright side of this.  I mean I know it must look bad.  I am asking for medical weed and stronger pain killers.  They are considered drugs.  But what other options do I have now?  Even the GI agreed that painkillers were the only option this whole time.
Doctors in my area make me think of myself as a criminal, or worse junkie. That is basically what that doctors said when he started talking about Police.
Man...wish this was easier.


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## nativesith

Well that went how I expected. I did not expect to come back home with a pound of medical marijuana.  I did not expect to get stronger painkillers.
I expected to get a lecture of why I would not get what I need.
He informed me that no doctor in this area would ever agree to medical marijuana for any patient.  He also told me he thinks it is too dangerous to give me stronger painkillers.
I said my piece.  Which was...the point of this getting DANGEROUS passed LONG ago.  That is something Everyone needs to realize.  How could a stronger painkiller hurt me, when I am already handed 100 Tylenol 3's every time I see this guy.  I told em it seems really messed up to me that I will basically be given OPIUM( in pill form) and I have also been given Morphine which really is cocaine. I can get Opium or Cocaine from doctors...but when I ask for Marijuana they are like "Hey Slow down man!"
He said I was the smartest native or patient he met. No one ever said that to em or gave it to em like that.  Really made him think...but in the end he still said no.
Marijuana does help more than any of those two, it saved my life.  I would not be here writing any of this or seeing a GI without this.  I wish a doctor could see this.
Cocaine...lol. I slay me sometimes.


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## Hope345

Sorry to hear you were not able to get what would actually  help  you.   
It is hard for doctors to see what is not FDA.     

I wonder if there is an oil you could order on line?  There may be a doctor here in Oregon that could send it to you.    

You have a great way of writing about it...... lol


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## nativesith

It is a double edge sword.  One side I hate myself for taking the painkillers, I really do not want to take them.  But some days the pain gets too much, like the past few.  I get the pain before I even open my eyes, mad at myself for yet another dream denied.  It begins to build n build, I fear it will not stop.  Everyday it is like this gets pushed a lil further in the unknown. Everyday I can feel it getting worse.  The day of the GI appointment.  I felt good when I woke up and went to Edmonton.  I felt safe...but when I got home.  It all came crashing down.  I needed to use the bathroom.  It would not stop..there was a blood filled poo at the end.  I felt a pain in the front with pressure. Fearing a blow out in that area. I can still feel it, keeping me up. I tried to be tough and take it.  I struggled and gave in.  Hate that I am in this cycle that never ends.  
Now it is tough...financially.  I need special foods for myself. I had to buy regular food today.  I did na have enough for myself.  All because I did not receive a medical check from my band. I have the medication I need ..but no food I can really eat.
Soo thankful for my business at times like this, I just prey I make more.
I had to spend the money I was saving for my game.  My children are more important.  But I keep doing this to myself.  Pushing myself aside for my family.  My clothes are for a man who weighs much more than I do.  When I walk round in any pants I own they fall down(even with a belt, do na ask me how that happens). All of my shirts look way too big.  All of my wardrobe is way to big n old. That adds to my never wanting to go out. My brother bought me a couple pairs of clothes, but they too are very big in his size.  He tried taking em back to get something smaller, but that was the smallest in men's size they had. 
Do I have to buy my clothes from the teen section now?  
Feel like Benjamin Button.


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## nativesith

I have come to many realizations today. I realize my brother, even though he has done so much for me lately, is asking me for too much.  It is a constant job that never ends which I get nothing for and it keeps me from actually making money.  
He was making me do all his tech work. Not just his, but his whole family of in-laws(and there are a lot of them). He has been making me fix what ever problems they might be having(Virures, hardware,etc).  Does na stop there.  He wants me to do Ipods, Wii's,Harddrives.  All for his In-laws, all for free.  Felt forced to do this.  If I did not do it, he would have never given me any kind of help.
I put my foot down ,I can no longer do this without getting paid.  I need more money.  I did not get medical. They all work, making way more than I receive in a month.
I can not believe he would make me do all this when I feel so bad.  Taking advantage of me, for far too long.  I saved them thousands of dollars, and for what?
I love my brother, but he really can not understand this as well as I wish he would.  He even said that I  should suck it up and go to work.  He said he could get me a job. I almost cried when he said that to me.  I have thought about that, really wish I could work. 
In the end , I jus told em to let me work.  Do not bring me anymore of their computers without any payment.
I realize now how many of my family members are taking advantage of me in the worst possible time.  I am sick and I have nothing, how could anyone do such a thing?
This whole time, he was like yeah i will give you a ride, but i got a trunk full of computer problems I need you to fix?!


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## nativesith

Well woke up this morning..took my meds.  I was na feeling too bad.  I got thirsty so I decided to have a glass of water.  I got sick and threw up soon after.  My wife was cooking at the time, and the smell of the food set me off.  Good thing I had a bucket beside me, since I would na have made it to the bathroom.  It hit  swift, had no time to react. 
Feel drained now. 
A few years ago when the puking had begun to become a constant event, I remember feeling very scared.  Like it was the end of my world every time.
Got use to it, now I just let go.  Deal with it better than I used to.
Think I may have found the ONLY doctor in Alberta who prescribes medical marijuana. In Swan Hills which is north of Edmonton, probably take me about 2-3 hrs to get there from here.  But how would i go about this?  I really do not want to talk with my GP or GI about this.  The only man I want to talk to about this situation is Dr. Oliver of Swan Hills.  Thinking about giving him a call after I am dianosed.  I know it would help more than anything.  I want medical marijuana so I would na have to take any pain killers at all.
I do not want Opium or Cocaine!


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## nativesith

Yeah!  Turned out to be a good day today.  Not because I feel better er anything like that.  It is a great day since my sister and I got bought a vehicle for ourselves.  I will not have to rely on my brother any longer. My sister lives right next door, we rely on each other.  She has a disability which causes many problems in public.  She has a very hard time dealing with people and even talking.  She has schizophrenia, hears voices that really is like a little devil on her shoulder.  He tells her all kinds of evil.  He tells her to kill me!  He tells her to kill my mother.  It fights my mother and I since we are the two who will always fight for her. 
Anyway...I had to set my feelings aside to set this deal up.  I got a ride,found the car, talked to the owner, and made the deal(saved 200?!) all  for my sister and I.  Now I have a ride  for all of my appointments. I saved the money by telling them the truth.  I told em I have a disease(Crohns or UC) that is undiagnosed, I do not get any medical financial help.  I have not worked or went to school in a long time and we need this go make all my appointments.
They said they have a niece with Crohns, so they really sympathized with me and said YES! I noticed what a nice neighborhood it was , everyone was out smiling and waving.
They said it was the best neighborhood they experienced in their life.  Was I in opposite world? lol
It felt weird...I never get that kind of reaction.
I was in pain...but I did not have to use the bathroom til now(thank the creator).
I thank the creator soo much for this, we really need this now.  My wife got sick, feeling like me.  Upset stomach, stomach, pain, nausea vomiting, could not eat for a couple days.They ran a few test and found out she is pregnant.  So now both of us need to see a doctor all the time. Lil native on the way .
But the past few days  I have been getting worse pain with almost black diarrhea. I just seen alot of it minutes ago. Few days ago I seen blood so I took Iron supplements. Now I have learned Iron supplements will make the poo dark er black in color.  So I do na know if it is the supplements or blood.
Wish the doctor told me about this.

I been thinking about my relationship with the  government.  I live in third world conditions.  Really?  In Canada?! 1998 A UN study stated my people's(4 bands of Hobbema,Alberta)Quality of life was that of third world nations.  We fell below countries like Mexico, Malaysia, and Kazakhstan. The government took money from all four trust accounts to pay itself. Over 200 billion in damages(Oil and Gas Revenue), when the government made itself responsible for the long term welfare of my people LONG AGO(since  Treaty Six). This is why there is soo much hatred towards my people.  But Alberta does not understand.  They do not understand if my people win that Alberta will get some of that revenue instead of US companies(Who robbed us and the government).
This is my people's story for any interested.
http://this.org/magazine/2000/12/01/this-land-is-whose-land/


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## nativesith

I am starting to understand this more.  IRON.  Every time there is blood loss I lose a lot of my Iron. My blood ca na make healthy blood cells being deficient in Iron. I taken the supplements for a few days and can tell I fell better(still is pain). But I feel less fatigue now.
Just wondering how often I should take these.  
Why am I still doctoring myself?  My doctor would not have given me any without me telling him to.  I also asked for B12, which I did get before, and that is no longer covered.  He was puzzled when I asked for the B12. 
However, every time I feel better it is because I make him give me some medication.
Now I realize what was happening to me.  I lost soo much blood, my blood was in danger countless times.  I felt I had no energy after waking in the morning.  Many days I felt lifeless had breathing problems and I looked very pale.  I know I needed a blood transfusion many times, I could ve died.
Blood made me feel like crap with the pain on top of it.
I was using apo ferrus gluconate before.  Now I used apo ferrus sulfate and I noticed a big difference. I know I need more the ferrous fumarate.
Just read gluconate has 11.5% , sulfate has 20%(obviously why I feel better) and fumate has 33%.  Jus call me doc native lol.
However, I really need that B12.
I feel better coming to this realization.  I know now that the feelings of being Iron deficient will na be soo bad.


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## upsetmom

A few years ago i was prescribed iron supplements and i was told to take one twice a day after food.

Does it say on the packet how much to take?


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## nativesith

This sulfate says two times a day, not to take dairy a hour before or after. Take on empty stomach for best results. I do get a upset stomach(even worse than normal), feels like the front of my stomach is going to burst open.  
Really ...I am too accustomed to feeling pain.  I can take a great deal , before I give in.
But on Iron I feel less fatigued and less breathing problems.  I need a blood test?
I prey the GI sees and diagnoses me on April 17th.  IDK...scared.  Scared since I went through it before.  Right after it got worse the bleeding, weight loss and paleness. If the Surgeon was right...there is nothing in the areas they are doing the scopes. If it is in my small intestine than these scopes will be for nothing.
However, the GI said he took samples from the inflamed/infected parts of my stomach.  He is sure the samples should not be "normal" as the surgeon said.
If it is all for naught, at least I know I should be on a higher dose of Iron if the need arises.


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## upsetmom

Yeah i'd take it with food...i've read that if you take it with orange juice the body absorbs the iron better.


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## CarolinAlaska

Glad to hear that you got a car.  That is good news.  Congratulations to you and your wife on the little Native to be.  I'm glad your wife wasn't really sick like you.


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## nativesith

Feeling better, my appetite has increased.  Staying on the gluton free diet is hard. 
It is hard to have the food I need all the time.  I do not want to stray off.
Whenever i feel a lil better...I begin to almost believe I am normal.  Like this never happened.  On again and off again with issues along the way.  Really need a Dx for myself.  Just so I can say to myself"I have Crohn's".  I always wondered what it was since I was small.  Few weeks it will be explained.
Drove me crazy for almost 38 years now(turning 37 in May).


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## CarolinAlaska

Do most of your filling with meat, potatoes, veggies, rice, etc.  You'll have to change the way you think about what consists of a meal, but your body will love you for it.


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## nativesith

Now we figured out I am a Iron deficient anemic, it is really just the pain issues.  I get pain when I eat or drink.   I get pain taking medications.  Marijuana is the best med for this, but I do na have that all the time.  Wish I did, I would not have to take narcotic painkillers.
That is my next battle.  I need medical marijuana, after my diagnosis it is my mission. It would so be great on soo many levels.  The money I would save, the stomach pain, joint pain, the nauseousness.  The money is the biggest issue.  With another child on the way I need this to have more money to provide for them.
I have to stop buying it and start receiving it medically.


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## nativesith

Well...another month with no medical financial support.  I just picked up my cheque, where I seen countless others recieve medical and guess what?  They did na even look sick?!
I made a scene.  I told my worker there is no way this can be considered medical.  She said it was not.  She said she wants me to make a appointment so she can inform my why.  I informed her this was totally unacceptable.  I will not make a appointment with her.  I will however make app with the chief and Councillor in charge of Social assistance to have my worker changed. She had her mind set before I even had the papers filled out, both the doctor and I are puzzled when others with way less receive medical.  She would not use the Fax to save me a few dollars, no she made me go out of my way.  Had the doctor fill out the form how many times.  Whole tribe knows how bad this is, yet these workers seem to get off on it. I can na understand how doctors orders are denied and ignored.  I am writing it all down for my next Lawyer visit.  Looking at the paper the first time, she could have said I would not get it and saved me some time, money and heartache.  But no...she made me go back and get it filled out just to tell me this?! This person is not even from my band!  She needs to go back to her tribe.  When my tribe goes there for work, that is what we are told.  We are told to go back to where we came from, Louis Bull. My band will hire all, why?  We have maybe a thousand people, with a unemployment rate disgustingly over 90%. And here we are  giving these jobs away to people from Bands that have way more than we do. My people need to stand up and get these leeches out, that is what they are. Who cares if they have family in the band office, that does not make em part of our band.
I had to fight scratch and claw just to get the money for the vehicle! There is no help, support or assistance of any kind.  When I do ask for help, it ends up costing me more(Just getting that form filled out cost me nearly 80 dollars going back n forth!). That is money I work hard for, no one just hands it to me for nothing. I just want to give up on getting any help from my band.
So glad I have my business...I know i would not make it with what I get.  I receive next to nothing. I make more doing what I do. But that is what gets me by.  I buy what I need, mostly food. I really can na afford too much else.  I have dreams of getting a few things, like a new ps3, upgrade my PC and Laptops(Which I desperately need for what I do) and a vacation from the 3rd world reserve would be heaven.
But... that is all they are.  Dreams.
Wish I could wake up from this bloody nightmare! I am surrounded by corrupted and greedy people who are too concerned with themselves.
I am a Alberta native man, who has been treated unfairly every time I leave my house.  I do na want to leave any more. When I leave, all I get is reasons why I will not get any kind of help. I help myself, wish I could rest and take it easy.  But I have to keep going, no matter how I feel. In fact, I need to go way harder on my business, I need more money.  Tired of having nothing for too long.


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## CheerBear12

I've missed a few posts again :/ you two having a baby? If so congrats  hope they can get you in on April 17th. Won't be long and I'll be having surgery in 5 weeks.


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## nativesith

We are expecting.  I know that will be a great experience for all of my family. For my wife Cheryl-lynn, my daughter Emily, sons, Eric,Eli and Elvis.  My mother is so happy. My sister and even my brother are happy and surprised there will be a new baby of the family.
Surgery?  I will prey hard for you CheerBear12.
That is a possibility that scares me, honestly.  Never had experienced any type of surgery throughout my life, closest I even had come to that is the scopes.  With the GI I know he will deal with this, what ever it may be.  It is happening for me very soon as well.
I prey everything works out for the best.


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## CheerBear12

Thank you I really need it can't do this alone it's so hard. It's too make my ileostomy permanent I have no other choice with being diagnosed with indeterminate colitis. The j pouch could more than likely fail on me. I can't take them risks this is the best choice in my eyes. I don't want this but it will be better in the long run. I hope I'm so much better with it than before. It saved my life literally. Congrats hope it all goes well for you all hope you get sorted before baby arrives. When is he/she due? your in my thoughts praying you get sorted without the need of surgery.


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## nativesith

This is so difficult.  dealing with issues constantly.  Surgeries and pouches are my worst fears.  I prey.  I prey that this works out for you.  My ancestors and I are with my beautiful friend.
Due date?  Cher believes is will be in September or August, she is usually right. 
Now I ave the blood /Iron worked out, I am noticing the pain more.  Pain at night, in my hips and lower back.  It hurts to even arch my back. My hips...I can feel on both ball joints. It is getting bad. I can barely move.


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## CheerBear12

You know it was my worst fear as well before this but anything is better than going 30-40 times a day before this with all other symptoms as well. I'm so scared of everything all I have are bad memories from last one... 3 months of recovery and 3 and a half months of pain. Hope i don't have that again. That's all I think of can't get it out my head. Hoping it all goes well... Thanks for all of this means a lot. Hoping it all subsides soon for you and you get sorted asap keep us posted. Hope it all goes well with baby.


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## nativesith

One extreme to the other.  Seems like I am either using the bathroom too much or too little.  Today I had the urge to go.  I did...there was a lot.  Filled up the toilet. After that I felt very tired,fell asleep for five hours.
So sick of this, sick of myself.  I try to go without painkillers. But the pain always seems to be too much to handle.  The pain now is my hip, been hurting almost 48hrs straight now. Hurts soo bad getting up and moving round(even worse than before). I really do na want my hip to get any worse. It has made me want to stop sex all together.  Sex does na seem possible like this.  Why is this happening?  Every day it gets that much worse, now this.  IDK how much more I can handle.
Family is having a dinner tomorrow,damn it.  Feel like a puppet at this kind of thing. I am there only for show, eating very little and/or very slow. Makes me unhappy more than anything. Everyone sees the way I walk and the way I look.  It always turns into a discussion about me and possible cures. Elders look at me and can na believe their eyes. They look at me and look away to quickly.   Soo much food there, everything I can na eat, torturing me.  I want to eat everything... but you know how that goes. Such a nightmare.
But there is something that scares me more than anything.  Being alone.  When I was young I remember being in blinding pain and no one was there with me. Alone I always feel worse. When Cher had Eric there was many complications. He was born three months premature.
 One night I was in pain, she was also in pain. Next morning I woke up and she was gone, blood was all over our bed.  I freaked out wondering where my wife was.  My niebours informed me the ambulance came very early in the morning.  By the time I made it to the hospital she was in Calgary(300 km away). Eric was born that day, I could na make to Calgary until a week later. When I did the doctors told me that he had a list of medical problems all steaming from being underdeveloped(They gave him 5 years to live, he is now 12?!).  They also stated it was very hard on Cheryl.  They said another baby could kill her. I prey she makes it through this. I can na lose her.  We worked soo hard on this relationship that is great now. But that is my greatest fear. When ever my life is going good it all seems to come crashing down.  She is the love of my life, my one and only.  Please Creator...Do na take her from me now.


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## CheerBear12

I'm really sorry to hear that I hope she makes it through when the time comes to give birth. Thinking of you both hoping everything will work out fine. What about asking for a c-section? Hope you get sorted as well ASAP it's gone on for far too long now. Big hugs too you both. Keep us posted on you both plz x


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## nativesith

We just take everything one day at a time. Coming up next is my scopes. April 17th, although it will be rescheduled to some day a few after or before.  I can na stop thinking about what the GI said.  He was clearly upset and angered how long I have been dealing with this and doctors like the surgeon.  He said the surgeon obviously did not have a clue about IBD's.  If the GI did the scopes I know I would have had the Dx then.  The first time I had a scope was by the surgeon in 98.  I really believe that is when I should have been originally diagnosed.
Now I feel a constant pain in the front (left of my belly button) with pain in my right hip that has not gone away for three days.  After doing a bit of research I found i may have developed a abscess.  A abscess with pain radiating to my hip.
I honestly believe that once the GI sees what is inside me he will freak out. I do na think he will want to let me go that day.
My wife is having a hard time sleeping.  Every time she shifted her weight on the bed I moved a little bit, that movement caused pain every time.  I did na want to say anything, like stop it.  I could feel an area inside that hurt when there is even a little bit of vibration or movement. Occasionally she would brush up on my side or rib and that too would cause pain.


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## happy

Tagging DustyKat re: possible abscess. 
nativesith-do you have a fever? These latest symptoms do seem worrisome. Dusty's son was diagnosed from an abscess-perhaps she can advice you what to tell the doctor so he will see you sooner. I am wondering if you could manage a trip to an ER in Edmonton?


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## DustyKat

I am so very sorry to hear of all you are going through nativesith.  

As happy as said, my son had a psoas abscess that caused pain in his right hip/groin area. 

His symptoms were: 

-Persistent pain that worsened over time. 
-He had developed a limp that would come and go until he could no longer put weight on his right leg.
-The only way he was able to get any sort of relief from the pain was to lay on his back with his flexed. It was far to painful for him to straighten leg and that was a particular telltale sign.

For my son fever was not a symptom but he was on Prednisone and Imuran at the time so they masked that aspect of things but that should normally be something to look to as well. Also for him his white cell count and C-reactive protein were extremely elevated. Would it be possible to see a GP and have them request the blood tests for you? 

When you say the way you walk, what do you mean? 

Dusty. xxx


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## nativesith

Like a week ago the pain used to be in the morning and at night.  It started going all day. It feels real bad.Walking or moving causes great pain. Moving my right leg front to  back is na as bad as moving it side to side.The more I use it the worse it becomes. This really started LONG ago. It just kept getting worse. The walk...it has become slower on some days.  Ever since like October it has become slower and slower.  Going up stairs has become a feat onto itself.  Some days hurt worse than others.  I noticed it hurt on the joint, but late last night it moved up a lil to the waist(But I could still feel the joint).  I feel wearing a pants or belt makes it worse.  Fevers do come, they are slight. My head and stomach area become hot, lower part of body feels cold. I fight the hot/cold feeling.  The fevers have gt better since I have been taking stronger Iron supplements. GP  or hospital visit is just not possible right now.  If my doctor were at the hospital I would.  But going there at any other time would be a gamble. I would love it if they could help me , but everytime they seem to hit a brick wall.  GP said they really can na do ANYTHING for me until I am diagnosed.  They can na rush the scopes, they can na do the scopes here. Even if they could why would I put myself through that when the surgeon here really has no clue about IBD's. Everyone at the Doctor's office and the hospital has seen my walk, they never really said anything about it, it is all the stomach. Medical release the doctor signed my walking is severely impaired difficult.
Remember I am na on any treatment.  Just Painkillers, Iron supplement, Vitamins, etc. Laying n my sides causes great pain, bending my knees while on my back gives slight relief. Sometimes it feels like a pinching sensation in my groin area.
Scopes with GI on April 17th.


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## DustyKat

:ghug: 

Do you keep a journal of your symptoms? 

If not it may be helpful in getting you a diagnosis. When you are living this sort thing day in and day out the abnormal becomes normal and it is too easy to forget the little things that help bring the pieces together. Have a look through the suggestions we have in the wiki...

http://www.crohnsforum.com/wiki/Diary-Inclusions

Just remember, a scope is a very good diagnostic tool but it is limited in what how much of the bowel it can see. Almost all of the small bowel cannot be visualised with scopes and if you do have an abscess they will not see that either. Start documenting things now so you have tangible black and white evidence to present to the GI on the 17th. Document every single day and as many times as necessary. 

Dusty. xxx


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## nativesith

This is the closest I ave to a journal, my thread.  Every issue or episode I will and do post.
I do feel the abnormal becoming normal. I have become too use to this and feeling pain. I am trapped in this cycle for years(decades). Feel like I am wasting away, deteriorating too used to being ignored.  
I am all to familiar(small Intestine where any scope can not reach) with where this may be located.  Scopes may be all for naught.  How long will this go on before they find it and give me treatment?   
However, the GI said the Surgeon basically is a quack.  He knows if he sees and tests the inflamed/infected parts(This surgeon would not clear up if it was inflamtion or infection with myself or the GI?!) that the surgeon seen and took samples from that it will show some type of abnormality. How could it not?
Now , I feel pain in my hip, but it is like it is not flaring up badly at the moment.  Feels sore.
My stomach pain is worse than my hip now.  Front again.


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## DustyKat

I don't know how long it will take.  At least with getting scopes done, and in view of the fact that you have been having issue for so long, you have a chance of either finding out what is wrong there and then or if the scopes are clear narrowing it down to perhaps being a small bowel issue and then imaging is your next step. Either an MRE/CTE and/or pill cam. 

I know it is bloody hard but please keep pushing for answers if the scopes don't reveal anything. You have suffered far too long to have no solid answers. 

I see you have been tracking through this thread but you need to transcribe it and get it down on paper. Dates, times, symptoms. 

Dusty. xxx


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## nativesith

Today was a battle.  It was a struggle, I was trying not to take any of the painkillers.
But I jus lost that battle, I gave in and took some.  Pain was building becoming too much to take.  This is how the majority of my days have been.  Waking up and pain and preying it goes away or gets better, which it really never does.  It always gets to being unbearable on too many occasions.


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## nativesith

Really bad day today.  Feel nauseous hot, wicked stomach pain(getting to 7-8).
GI receptionist called to confirm the appointment for the 17th.
I prey I make it that far, pain is so bad.
My wife...it is like she is experiencing the same issues now.  She awakes with stomach pain rolling round for hours this morning along with me.  She went to the ER where they said it is not good when she had diahrhia for the longest time. They took a stool sample(which is very different now then the last time I had one). I fear her stomach is inflamed. Did she get this from me?
When I moved to Louis Bull(where my wife and I met) is when the bleeding got really bad. I was soo poor back then(even worse than now)and I was forced to drink the well water. I know that water has too much calcium and Hplyori. Now I am fearing for my wife and unborn baby, my pain does na matter.
Starting my journal today.


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## nativesith

I have been just working at home, trying to forget about the pain. Business has been going really well lately.   That helps alot.When I feel bad and I am going down, someone arrives and having someone here makes it feel better. Like my mind is side tracking the pain for a instant.
Pain in my joints has gotten really bad, unbearable honestly. There was pain in my left knee last night wrapping round in burning pain. It was soo bad I was afraid to put weight on it. Now it feels really sore.  Whole time with stomach pain. 
10 days to go til the scopes with the GI. All of my family is extremely worried about em.  I really am just getting the hang of all this.  Honestly, I am just getting over the last scopes.  Everyone in my family saw nothing but bad effects the last time.  My color had become extremely pale, I had almost completely stopped eating, I lost too much weight in a short period. They do na wanna see that happen again, I understand that.  But I need this GI to do this, if I could I would do it now. Probably will feel worse.  I mean I feel worse than the last time I went in, and they will take samples from the bad parts of the inflammation/infection.
I have started writing, and no it is not this thread.  Long ago I was a poet with dreams of spreading my words.  Now I am older and I walked this path...it seems I have my inspiration/subject.


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## HisQueen99

I'm so sorry your having such an awful time. The best thing you can do for you in my opinion is keep going back to the doctors. Complain, complain, complain. It took 15+ years for me to be told I had crohns. I let the doctors push me around and blow me off until I was like you. In horrible pain all the time. It affected my whole life. I was afraid to even leave my house. I demanded a colonoscopy and 1 week later found out it was in fact crohns. It's still been a long frustrating road but at least I know what's wrong and between myself and the GI, we're working on getting me well. Hopefully one day ill even hit remission. Ill be thinking of you and I hope you get relief and answers soon.

Best wishes,
Bethany


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## nativesith

Best way I can describe this...
Stab wound on left side, hurts worse when I lie down.  Sometimes even a blanket makes it worse. Pain radiates all over my stomach.
Using the bathroom there is always diarehia, now hurting when I push.  Some days I go maybe once, other days I lose count.
Pain in joints...hips,knees,elbows,shoulders and back(Back knees and hips the worst). Always seems to be worse at night, however when it is bad I feel it all day.  Really slows me down, my mobility is greatly effected.
At least I have not bled or vomited in a while.
I am thinkin that the surgeon started a abscess/infection in the site where the biopsies were taken.  That would explain the joint pain getting worse since visiting him.
Doctors...I had visited this one last summer.  She had recognized the seriousness of my conditions.   But she moved, I just found out where she is. Really want to visit her,when I seen her last I was 285(now I am 175).  She really listened and understood, better than all the doctors I have seen.
9 days to go til my scopes, and thanks for everyone supporting me.
I can na thank you all enough.


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## CheerBear12

I've got my pre op on Thursday and I keep getting white mouth sores which hurt like hell and no sooner they go they come bk again! I'm scared I've got crohns now  been diagnosed with indeterminate colitis at moment my mind is all over the place


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## nativesith

It breaks my heart to see you in pain even after being diagnosed.  Scares me...like I see visions of others lives becoming mine.  I do na want to feel like this all the time.
I wish I could dream for while...longer than I do anyway.  My dreams,like everything in my life now, is cut short.  Like a show one watches that states to be continued.  Only..it never ends. In my dreams I feel no pain, I am happy.  But that never lasts, only to be awakened by stabbing pain.


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## CheerBear12

Thanks for this and sorry I didn't mean to scare you even more I'm absolutely petrified I have to wait till Thursday when I see a surgeon to tell them and see what they say. Hopefully it won't affect my op getting my ileostomy made permanent in nearly 3 weeks hopefully it won't be as bad as what I'm thinking. The thing is I'm fine other than the sores and pain from them.  It's massive on inside of my lip. Hopefully I'll be wrong.. But we will see so scared  of everything and stress won't help me either. Big hugs coming your way


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## nativesith

OMG this morning is soo bad.  Woke up feeling like the worst pain I felt in a while,  Really sharp.  I felt hot, my nose was running like crazy. I really needed the pain killers today.
But that really scared me, I almost called the ambulance.
I am getting scared a lot , too much.  But how can I not?  I really do na know what THIS is. I got mad at my doctor was na the last visit, but the one before.  I told em I feel like I am going to die, and soon.  He said it would not kill me.   I replied, how could you say that when you have no idea what it is? He said I was right.  Then I said, that I wanted statements like that to stop.  I do not want lies or well wishes.  I want the truth.  I want the doctors to give it to me straight. Giving it to me straight, he said it very well may kill me, and there really is nothing he could do without a Diagnosis.
Story of my life...lol.
I am making a appointment with Doctor Warner,a female doctor who has shown she cares more. Hopefully I can visit her tomorrow or the day after.
I feel scared to eat.
OMG it is getting worse again! So much pain in front. And with stupid cold symptoms of running nose and sneezing. I feel hot and cold.


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## CarolinAlaska

Poor Guy!  You don't need a virus on top of all this to flare everything up!  Sorry you are feeling so badly today!  Maybe it isn't something serious, maybe it is just the virus.  We can hope...  Try broths, tea with honey and Ensure on those days that you are afraid to eat...


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## nativesith

I taken more pain killers masking the pain.  I feel a lil better.  My whole mid section is really hot.  So hot it is sweating, just in my mid section. I am not doing any exercises. But now it is settling ...pain and running nose.  I seriously just went through a box of tissues.
Dr. Warner is on sick leave for a few weeks, just great.
My mother seems to be losing her mind the closer the day of the scopes comes.


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## nativesith

I feel bad about na seeing my regular doctor, but every time I make a appointment it is for 3 to 4 weeks later.  I can na wait that long.
Seeing another doctor TODAY.  I need some questions answered about my medications and upcoming scopes.  I also need painkillers, really want something stronger.  What I have now helps, but I am taking a lot of em.  Why take a handful when a doctor could prescribe one?
I am soo tired of being pain constantly!  Everyday it is like I crawl through a gauntlet of racking pain.  Will I ever find some kind of relief for my suffering?


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## CheerBear12

Keep us posted on how it goes, I'm hoping you will get relief from suffering big hugs. Lets hope they know what they are talking about and don't judge you this time. Good luck


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## nativesith

OMG this new doctor is the biggest quack I met in my life.  I told him about my upcoming scopes and how it went last time. Explaining how my joint pain had worsened since that time.  
From the very first moment he spoke I knew he had a real attitude. Said even if I have Crohn's that the arteritus can be dealt with as well as Crohn's. He said just to deal with it and he will not give me any stronger type of pain relief. How could any type doctor not understand how much pain this is?  And understand that biopises are going to be taken from the inflamed/infected areas.  This is the kind of care I can except in Wetaskiwin Alberta, which harbors soo much hate against native people.  A town with no GI or Doctors that have any understanding of IBD's. Could feel the hate.
That was a waste of my time, feels like I am broken in half.  Always feel it.  No escape.
8 days, wish it was now. Damn.
I found out Dr. Warner is sick.  Depressed...I feel her.  Need to see her, no other doctor can understand this.  My GP now has got me to this point, but I need more help.  He refuses. I just gotta make that scope next week and then visit Doc Warner(She will be my GP).  To hell with that town,I want none of that in my life any more.  I mean...I was having a hard time walking and sitting.  He did not look in my mouth or take my blood pressure, even after I told em about possible Crohns and the fact I have High Blood pressure. I am no doctor, but would nt that help?


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## nativesith

I lived next to that town my whole life.  Forced to go there.  Never had a choice.  Almost every visit was like yesterday.  Rushed, raised voices, hateful stares, unequal treatment.  If I ever go back there...I want to record it.  Video.  Really wish I thought of that long ago.
I would really like to start recording what is happening to me.  I want to record all the dirty looks, racist words,and neglect.  I heard and seen soo much of it last year.  I could ve made a movie out of all that material. Yesterday he looked disgusted at me upon entering the room.  He neglected to do regular check up procedures like taking temp, checking blood pressure, checking weight, look at feel the effected areas.  I really wanted to ask him the problem was when I got that look. I wanted to know all of those thing like my temp, blood pressure,and weight.  All I got was the same reaction. Same pain medication.  At the point where I need soo many to get past the pain when it gets bad.  That is the ONLY time I take them.  But the pain getting bad...that time passed ...years ago!  Sword piercing pain is what I felt for the past three days.  It finally settled down this morning. My whole body feels like it had been stretched for miles and dried in the sun for days. My nose is not running now, big surprise!  Pain, stomach pain, slight fever and joint pain settling.  It is not a cold.  It will be back. It always runs on and on.  
Please, Creator, make em find this next week!  I do na know if I can take it any longer.


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## CarolinAlaska

Floyd, that doctor had you pegged as a drug seeker before you walked in the door - probably from his staff.  Doesn't matter what you said, he had no intention of helping you.  I'm sorry it went that way.  When you get in with your Dr Warner, ask for a referral to a pain specialist.  There are many ways to treat pain besides THC and powerful pain meds, I think it would be good for you to find other solutions to your pain so you can use them in situations like this especially.  <<<Hugs>>>>>


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## nativesith

During that whole episode I did not eat. I mostly wanted hot drinks.  Pain radiated all over for days. It was a running nose with sneezing for 24 hrs then the pain hit harder.
Now?  Now it is going up n down. 6 days to go, last day before the 5 day prep.
I am going to force down something if I have to.


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## CarolinAlaska

4 days to go!  Hang in there!  Praying for caring, sympathetic docs who see beyond the outward to see the disease that made you become the way you are - desparately in need of good care!  Also praying for very clear diagnosis and good medical decision making.  You can make it through this.  You are not alone.  The Creator is right there with you.  Hang on, it's still a bumpy ride!  You can do this.  I'm sorry that you have to go through the prep again so soon, but glad you are with a good doctor now.  Never go back to that other place.


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## nativesith

3 days to go now.  Today I am instructed to stop taking the iron supplements.It was a hard night sleeping, I woken up 7 times.  It has really hurt the past 12 hours.
Laying there in pain for soo long, my mind began wandering.  There has to be a underlying cause to all of this.  For so many years I have lived my life thinking nothing was wrong or it was all my fault.  I listened to the doctors and nurses of that town, when they said nothing was wrong and if there was it was cause of a alcohol or drug problem.
Which is a joke...who could drink like this...I could see a drug problem developing out of this.  Last time I seen my brother, I was trying to get him to understand how I feel.
He and I have both known people who use heavy drugs.  I explained to him I feel i understand them more than I did back then.  Back then I thought they were scum just trying to get high. Now I am thinking what if they are like me?  Gut wrenching pain making them just wanna say F it! and try forget about the pain for a while. He and I both know I was never that bad.  But everyday this drags on...I am thinking about that more n more.  Escape.


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## Hope345

Thinking of you Floyd.  Hoping you get the answers you are looking for and the treatment you need.


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## nativesith

Seems like the closer the procedure comes, the worse it gets.  Felt bad yesterday, I remember thinking.  How could I sleep like this?  It was hard.  I felt like I was awake all night holding my side, knowing there is nothing I can do.  Seems like anything upsets it now, even liquids.  
My ma is fighting for me today.  She had enough.  She sent to wait for the workers at the band office.  She talked to  the councilor in charge of Social Assistance(someone I went to school with all of my life?!).  He said the workers never brought him my paperwork, he had no idea.  He told my ma not to worry , I will get medical now.  He even asked if I need a ride on Wednesday.
Feels really bad today, I am not eating anything today, just vitamins.  Tomorrow is the colyte.
This time last year I was almost double the weight I am now.


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## CheerBear12

Thinking of you good luck and hope you get the answers and treatment you need. Let us know what happens. Big hugs


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## nativesith

A social assistance worker came over to my house?!  She asked me to sign how many papers saying I am now on medical?!
My Ma did it?!
They gave a check for more Ensure.  Really do na feel like going out.  But it is great i finally am getting some help from my band.  Thanks Ma .
My uncle just called and said that Dr Warner wants to see me tomorrow.
She will listen to me more than any other doctor, last time I seen her I was a hundred pounds heavier.


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## CarolinAlaska

That is great news.  Things are looking up!


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## Hope345

prayers for you tomorrow...


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## upsetmom

Good luck


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## nativesith

Getting ready.
I have na ate for days.  Seriously ...there was no need for Colyte.  It came out clear the first time, like the last.  That  was hard 4 Litres of cold fluid. Made my right side hurt real bad. It really hurts all over, I can pinpoint the three effected areas.  I am flaring up now, this is the worst flare up I had in a while.
Pain is all that is on my mind.


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## CarolinAlaska

This may be a good thing - so that the doc can see what is going on (as opposed to not flaring).  I hope all went well with your scopes.  I'm sure you're probably recovering now.


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## CheerBear12

Good luck let us know


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## nativesith

DAMN IT!   WTF!  Nothing ...am I going crazy??  Colon polyp and hemorrhoids.  No pain medication no explanation why I am in pain. I wanted a bloody Pill Cam not this stupid scopes again.  Now I have to do another with a stupid surgeon just to fix the roid.
I really can na take this anymore, my life is going to end soon.  I can na live like this.
Thank you all for trying to help...but I am done.


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## happy

Hello nativesith,
I am so sorry that you did not get the help that you were looking for today. I understand that right now you are feeling like you will never get any help. Remember how strong you have been to get through this ordeal so far. Take some time to recover from the scope and then rethink what your options are. Please do not harm yourself.

Here is a phone number for Alberta Mental Health Services:
1-877-303-2642. They should be able to help you with the distress that you are feeling. It is a 24 hour number.

Here is a phone number for Health Link Alberta:1-866-408-5465. They may be able to help you find a new family doctor who can help you with pain meds. It is also a 24 hour number.

Here is a website for the ombudsman office in Alberta. You can make a complaint to them:http://www.ombudsman.ab.ca

And this is the contact info for your local MLA, Verlyn Olson: http://www.assembly.ab.ca/net/index.aspx?p=mla_contact&rnumber=86&leg=28 
Ask his office to help you navigate and access the health system.

You should be able to get a follow-up at the GI's office in a couple of weeks when he has the pathology back. Call tomorrow to book it. I don't want to scare you but polyps can be cancerous or pre-cancerous, so be sure to go for the follow-up.

Then ask the GI what the next steps are. Calmly and politely ask what his opinion is of your symptoms and what tests you should have next. Suggest the pill cam if he does not. If he is not willing to help you ask if he can refer you to someone else. 

Please let us know how you are tomorrow.


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## CarolinAlaska

Hi Floyd, I'm sorry today didn't go as you were hoping.  I am sure that this gastroenterologist didn't mean that nothing is wrong.  He just means that he did not find the source of your problem yet.  Do you have a followup appointment?  I strongly urge you to get the hemorrhoids taken care of and out of the picture.  I know they cause you a lot of problems, even if it isn't the source of all your problems.  You have come so far.  Don't turn back now!  You've got to listen to the doctors and continue to do what they say, especially this gastroenterologist who is trying to help you.  Hemorrhoid surgery is very painful.  They will not leave you without pain meds after that surgery.  Until then, do what you can to keep your stools soft.  Did the gastroenterologist take biopsies?  If so, even if he didn't see anything, the pathology can tell him a different story.  We are here for you.  This isn't over yet!  I am praying for you.


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## nativesith

My stomach has been totally empty for about 5 days now.  Pain has gotten so bad I am not eating(I did have a ensure like two days ago).  Everything is worse, hemmorids.  I woke up at the end and seen em.  They look huge circling and almost closed. My hips get soo bad at night I can barley walk (sex is not on my table anymore).
I can feel something pulsating in the center just below my ribs (comes and goes).  It pulsates with wicked pain.
I am in agony! Can na see any way out.  So tired and lifeless.  Tired of crying and losing hope everyday.  I wanted the pill cam, not the scopes!  I am saying that to Warner tomorrow(at 2.45).  I want a pill cam before anything.  
GI said I had a polyp, but he did not say if it was cancerous or not. This thing just formed since Dec 27. The surgeon would seen it if it was there.  Pain getting worse it related to it. I know it. He said to go back to GP and schedule a surgery for the hemorrhoids. Cancerous polyp?  That would be just my luck. The pain gets bad in the lower part of my body at night.  Legs and feet gets cold, yet I am hot in the stomach and head. IDK...
I feel pain when anything moves through the stomach(like the colyte last night).  I can feel where the it goes.  Pain get worse when I eat, even yogurt and drinks now?!
Few weeks ago I was 185-180,  I am now 170.  None of my clothes fit any more.  Feel like a bum who is lost in a wilderness of pain.


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## CheerBear12

Sorry you didn't get the help you wanted/needed they will do everything they need to find out the source of the problem soon. Good luck for today and hope the surgery goes well let us know how it goes. Think of how far you have come don't give up you can't. They will and have to find out the exact problem. Good luck and so sorry for you. Hope you get the help you really so desperately need.


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## nativesith

Polyp did form since December...OMG.  What next another one?  I swear to all that is holy when that thing appeared it all got bad.  Even trying to eat yogurt  last week was complete torture.  Drinks started making pain in my right, I eat it is my left.  170 now 20 pounds until I am at the weight I am supposed to be at.  After that I know any weight loss is going to be hella dangerous.  I can na stop this...I do na know what to do any more.  I feel like they are going to be testing me for months...all while I keep going downhill.
Downward spiral for years now...I wish I could stop it. Creator knows how I tried.  Soo tired...yet I am denied sleep.   Soo hungry and I am denied food.  Now my drinks?! I feel like I am close to death.  Like he is waiting for me.  Calling me.
I am thinkin about just buying steroids.  I know a drug dealer that could hook me up, but the cost well over a thousand.  Willing to try anything. If I shoot myself up with roids I know I will feel better.  I can na wait forever.


----------



## CarolinAlaska

Floyd, you are not thinking straight.  Polyps take years to form into cancer.  The GI will send the polyp to pathology and you will get the result as to what kind it is.  That is NOT the source of your pain.  You need sleep, brother.  You need fluids.  Go for water and electrolyte solutions.  Stay away from dairy.  Sounds like you have an intolerance to dairy right now.  Ask your doc for something to help you sleep, then give it to your wife so that she can give it to you safely.  DO NOT DO ANYTHING RASH.  You are in good hands now.  You need to trust the doctors.  Get some sleep so that you can feel better tomorrow to handle that day.  This weight loss will stop.  You've been trying to handle this on your own for far too long.  Stop trying to second guess the docs and what they will or won't do for you.  You are making yourself crazy trying to figure it all out.  Just follow their lead one step at a time.  The Creator has plans for you for a future and good - not for destruction.  Trust Him.


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## nativesith

My Pharmacist was my hero today.  I had a appointment with Dr.Warner and she wanted to know what Pharmacy I use. She called him immediately to make sure they had the medication I needed and they ended up making a really good plan.  He said he remembered me.  I heard every word that was spoken. Dr warner told em who I was and I was getting bad abdominal pain.
He said I am looking at his records right now and I can tell you this GI problem has been going on for far too long.  If he says the pain is worse ,I believe him. Past five years all he had was pain and GI medication. 
She listened and is making the arrangements for the pill cam, hemmeroid surgery(with a different surgeon) and she is rushing Dr Lim for the Biopsy results.
I went to see Rob right after. He wanted to see me and talk to me.  He siad I rememeber you...I remember when you were at least 300 pounds.  He asked how much I weigh now. At Dr Warners office I was 169lbs. His mouth dropped. He asked me how I feel.  I told em pain is the first and last thing I feel everyday, and the last pain med were not helping.  He said to follow his instructions and keep my spirit up. Love that guy.
Meantime...she upgraded my pain medication.  Given me a stronger laxative to counteract the constipation side effect of the pain killers. Sleeping pills that will make me sleep for at least 8 hours.  
The amount of medication I have now is crazy.I take like 8 at night time?!  But I thank the heavens for Dr Warner and Rob my Pharmacist. Together we made this all happen which I know will get the results I have needed for years.
I know i this has made made crazy.  How could it not.  Sleepless nights, days of agony , and no relief for the longest time.  I am amazed I am still here. This is the hardest test of my mind, spirit and body.  I prey I make it out of this with all three.
But it is finally looking better.  My future...


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## Hope345

Best news yet!!! So good to hear.   
someone is working out miracles for you


----------



## happy

So glad to hear some positive news for you!


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## CheerBear12

Best news yet let us know how you get hopefully you'll get a diagnosis and the treatment you need soon. Keep strong


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## nativesith

Last night I was getting pain.  I hurt so bad I was gently rubbing my stomach.  I noticed a hot spot which feels harder than any other part of my stomach.  When I applied a little bit of pressure I could feel my heartbeat.  It is like my heart is in my stomach.  When I touch different areas the pulse is na that strong. It pulsates with pain once in a while.  It is in the center, just below my rib line. It hurt soo bad after touching it.  Felt like cold needles were being drawn from it.


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## Hope345

I remember you having something like that before.   It could be a place that is inflammed.  Make sure you dont get constipated from it.    You could have a narrowing, scar tissue or something that they will see on the upcoming tests.


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## CarolinAlaska

Floyd, have you had a CT scan of your abdomen or an MRI of your abdomen before?  Pulsating mass in the tummy could be an aneurysm...  I hope it isn't.  Thanks for the update.  I'm sure glad things are looking brighter for you and that you got your hope back.  Hopelessness leads to despair and you, friend, were in the depths of it a couple days ago...


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## nativesith

I really want a CT since it has been 4-5 months since I did.  This Hurts...even with the upgraded meds.  Doctor wanted me to try to eat.  I did try...did na go too well.  I had a extremely painful upset stomach with nasua.  I felt soo tired during that, I could barley keep my eyes open.  Soo tired yet the pain would na let me sleep.  Maybe there is like five minutes outta my day, where I almost feel normal.  But the bad feelings always come back.
I have a appointment next week.  I am going to slow down my eating til then.
It feels better on days when I have nothing to eat.


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## nativesith

The new medication is great.  I can feel the hemorrhoids...like a numb feeling at night.
The only problem I have is the laxative.  Really do na want to take that anymore.  Last night I went racing to the bathroom 4 times.  The last time I began violently shaking, would na stop until something had come out. Again when I woke up.  It feels all good until I take that, wondering if I should go back on the Lax a day.  Had no problems with that.  I am...that is too much to take. That new laxative is making acid come up, every time I take it I can taste acid.  Along with the most painful stomach aches I have ever felt.


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## Hope345

Maybe you dont need the laxative but every third day.  As long as you are going regularly.    

You could also have an inflammed stomach (gastritis).  Any meds can irritate the stomach lining.       We used to have problems finding the perfect balance of laxative for our daughter too.  Some were way too harsh, but it was rough when you dont go for 3-5 days too.    

Do you still have the pain you listed below?

:*Last night I was getting pain. I hurt so bad I was gently rubbing my stomach. I noticed a hot spot which feels harder than any other part of my stomach. When I applied a little bit of pressure I could feel my heartbeat. It is like my heart is in my stomach. When I touch different areas the pulse is na that strong. It pulsates with pain once in a while. It is in the center, just below my rib line. It hurt soo bad after touching it. Felt like cold needles were being drawn from it. 

*

What is the new med you are taking?  Glad to hear it is working for you!!!! yeah!!!


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## nativesith

I can still feel that, but it has na throbbed for a while now.  I just went back on Lax a day to day , and I just used the toilet.  It was na violent or painful , like the past three days.  That Laxative scares me.
I am following doctors orders and I am trying to eat more lately. She says my nutrition is one of my health problems.
But that hot spot...
IDK...everyday is a struggle.


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## Hope345

Im glad your doctors are staying on top of everything for you.  
So good to hear.


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## nativesith

I am taking a day off the Laxatives tomorrow, and I am so looking forward to it.  Today went like the last three days.  I ingested the Laxative, today it was Lax a day twice.  Ended up in the bathroom 5 times(maybe more?). I am even supposed to take that Lax a day three times a day, only took it twice. It usually does na work that fast?!  I am all good til then.  When I take a laxative the pain gets worse, diaheria gets worse, I get nauseous, start shaking uncontrollably. It is all making me afraid of the bathroom and laxatives.  I can na wait to see Dr. Warner.  I am trying to eat, and it is all what I can.  Perhaps it is time to cut down on the size.  Soo much pressure to eat and use the bathroom.    Seems like this lasted for days .


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## Hope345

What kind of foods did they recommend?           6 small meals is usually recommended for a while.                Wish there was an easy answer.    Do they recommend juicing?
Yum....   liquid steak - lol

Make sure you dont get dehydrated...


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## nativesith

All day yesterday I   suffered from stomach issues.  Issues like pain, nausua, upset stomach, hic cups, using toilet,  Acid reflux...goes on n on.
No matter what I eat this does na stop.  I ate Mashed potatoes and skinless chicken.
Went well for about a hour ...all down hill after that. Upset stomach and nausea started.  Soon after I began tasting acid and I got the feeling I needed to use the toilet but nothing came out.  What?  Am I stuck on Bananas and yogurt?  Might as well get a bottle with a nipple on it. Almost feels like I need a pamper?!  Kept getting fear, fear of soiling myself in day or even worse in my sleep.
I am just soo bloody tired of all this!  When will it end?  
Creator please show me the way out of this!


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## nativesith

Holy crap Hic cups never end?!  Since I woke up and they just ended?!  WTH!
I did do the blood test the doctor ordered.  She also post phoned my appt til May 2nd.
I am now scared to put ANYTHING in my mouth.  In fear of of bloody hic cups.  Last night was a bad episode with em as well.


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## CarolinAlaska

Are you still stooling at least once a day?  Go back to laxative at least once a day if you are not...  Which med made you feel better?


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## nativesith

I jus went.  I went two times(I feel like I will go more), and both were very watery diarrhea.  I can taste acid and the hic cup came back.
Hic cups w/ mad stomach ache.
Lax a day is better and less stressful on me.  But even that yesterday, as soon as I drank it.  Made me go like NOW.  This is terrible...hope I can sleep tonight.
Everyday it is like I am limited more and more.  Limited with food , sleep and what I can do.
think I figured out what has made me like this since I visited Dr. Warner.  She gave me pms metroclopramide with a powerful Laxative?!  WTH.  It is used to improve stomach emptying after surgery or other procedures.  I can understand that, But I felt like I needed a pamper these past few days.  With like a 24 hr hic cup mode.  Bloody hell. That pill made my stomach hurt worse and it kept me up when I took a sleeping pill.
And now I find out I am taking Senokot?!  Another bloody Laxative?!  How Many Fuking Laxatives!  Have poo coming out my ears!  Why in the hell would any doctor do this???!!!!
All I asked for was pain medication and something for the bloody hemorrhoids!  Still have not got any cream or any thing for it.  What do I have to do to get someone to actually listen?!
I went from getting no help to way too much all at once.
I told her " I am soo afraid of laxatives."  Then she gives me 3!


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## Hope345

can you call her tomorrow and ask why they gave you so many laxatives?  
How long does she want you to take them?  

How are your hemorrhoids and do the laxatives make them worse?   

You poor guy!!!


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## nativesith

My doctor is in Vancouver until next week.:ymad:
She said to follow all medication instructions carefully.  I had a hard time keeping up that schedule.
I really had to try and slow my self down when on the toilet.  Most nights I was shaking uncontrollably. I was deathly afraid of making them bleed.  I could feel em.  Like a 6 inch area up and down in my butt area. It was a miracle they did na bleed when I was using the bathroom eight times a day.  Woke up needing to poo and went to sleep needing to poo.  All with hic cups.  I am coming down off the laxatives now.  Trying to wrap my head round why?   Who the hell in their right mind would prescribe let alone ingest three laxatives at once?  
I am going to take a day off all laxtaives and see if I use the bathroom.  If I do na...then I will try ONE of them.  NOT all at once, bloody hell.
Every night I felt like my azz has been paddled a million times, getting stabbing pain in my left and center stomach.  With the hic cups I was like "Kill me(hic)Kill(hic)Me(hic)." Hic cups caused way more pain, not just in my stomach.


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## nativesith

Damn it...I jus puked. 
Trying so hard.  I had the hic cups for the majority of the day.  It gave me a splitting head ache with intense pain in my top left of the stomach.   Pretty sure  I drank too much water trying to kill the hic cups.  I did take the lax a day.  I am totally staying off any laxatives for a few days now. This does not feel good.  I can na remember the last time I felt normal.  I am soo messed up now .
I can stll feel ...like a pulsating lump upper left.  Hic cups are back ....


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## Hope345

Maybe she is having you take these because she saw a need for them... on the colonoscopy.   sounds like they worked!!!!!!
She should have explained her reasoning behind taking so many.  I am going to make it manditory that doctors write all of their conclusions and reasons for medications down on paper and send it home with their patients.   Or this day and age, they could email it to them!!!         

Hope you are better tomorrow.     there has got to be a way to get rid of those hiccups.  I will look it up and pm you.


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## nativesith

The pulsating sensation is making me believe I have a Abdominal aortic aneurysm.
I have all the symptoms
    Pain in the chest, abdomen, lower back, or flank (over the kidneys), possibly spreading to the groin, buttocks, or legs. The pain may be deep, aching, gnawing, and/or throbbing, and may last for hours or days. It is generally not affected by movement, although certain positions may be more comfortable than others.
    A pulsating sensation in the abdomen.
    A "cold foot" or a black or blue painful toe can happen if an abdominal aortic aneurysm produces a blood clot that breaks off and blocks blood flow to the legs or feet.
    Fever or weight loss, if it is an inflammatory aortic aneurysm.
An aortic aneurysm is a bulging section in the wall of the aorta-the large blood vessel delivering blood from the heart to the body-that has become stretched-out and thin. Where the wall of the blood vessel bulges out, it becomes weaker and may burst or rupture, causing bleeding.

Most aortic aneurysms are caused by a combination of hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis), genetics, and aging. However, a small number are caused by inflammation or infection.

Aortic aneurysms rarely produce symptoms and are usually found during examinations done for other reasons. When symptoms occur, they most commonly include general complaints of abdominal or chest pain or discomfort, which can come and go or be constant.

Surgery is needed for large or fast-growing aneurysms, or when symptoms are present. Aneurysms caused by inflammation may require antibiotics.

Damn it that sounds soo much like me.   Doesn't it?
I really do believe THIS is a Aortic Abdominal Aneurysm.
It explains EVERYTHING.  The feeling of low circulation to my legs. Pain in my stomach area that builds and does na go away.  The pulsating LUMP!  Nausea and vomiting, which I just did yesterday. Weight Loss and even that is still happening.
I could die at any moment.  I told Dippenaar that.  He said This would na kill me.  It bursts I know I am dead...damn.


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## nativesith

Yesterday was a good day.  I did na hic cup all day.  I went to Edmonton with my sister to get my ps3 repaired.  While we were stuck in traffic the sun was beating down on me hard.  I felt light head and dizzy like I was going to black out.  But there was no way to get out of it, traffic was gridlocked.  I started feeling Nauseous.  Those feelings stayed with me all day on an off.  The hot spot did na pulsate, I can still feel the lump though.  But I did take a poo without using any kind of laxative!
Woke up today feeling well, but I am scared to eat...feeling a runny nose.  Stuff keeps coming out.  Gross.
My social assistance worker(and all others that worked in that department) were robbing the place blind.  It is all coming out now.  Thousands went missing in my band office.  The medical I fought soo hard for...I must do all over again TODAY.  I knew she was no good.  But I have to go through all of this AGAIN?!
Well...that went as I expected.  HORRIBLY WRONG!
The new worker is a total azz.  She had a attitude towards me before I even entered the room.  Instead of coming out calmly and asking me to go in the office.  She SCREAMED my name out!  Then when I got in there she said I HAD to get AISH.  She did na even take the time to introduce hereself!? She said do not drag this out!  OMG are you kidding me?  Do not drag THIS OUT! I told her I have been trying to do this FOR 'YEARS. She was belligerent. I walked out...I can na take that.  I refuse to listen to these abusive woman anymore. Every week I hear some BS from them, they even cam to my house LAST WEEK!  Now this?  Do na drag it out, drag what out?  My pain, suffering and Death!  O I will try not to.  FUK!
I refuse to take any abuse from any person in my band office any longer.  This is verbal abuse.
That worker said I was on Welfare foe two years and getting medical the WHOLE time?!   I wan na on Welfare for even a year yet, and I just got medical.  WTH is going on.  Someone forged those documents and was collection o not only my welfare chech but a medical as well?!  Then they talk to me like I did it!  I am soo telling my Lawyer.  He is going to rip that band office UP! How could they get away with stealing a whole check for a whole year.  Soo applaud anyone could do this to a sick man.


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## nativesith

I woke up to my hot spot throbbing with pain.  But I used the toilet and it almost looked normal?!  But I really notice that spot, I can see my heartbeat in the top of my stomach today. Lax A day is working ,YAY!
The welfare experience was totally unpleasant. No professionalism what so ever. That woman said I received medical for 2 years?!  Who was getting my medical? My Lawyer is soo going to LOVE this.
I have a appt for the second.  I want the *pulsating lump* tested somehow, like NOW.  I really do na need any type of aggravation now.


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## CheerBear12

Not long now hang in there, good luck keep us posted


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## CarolinAlaska

Floyd, I am glad your diarrhea slowed down and your hiccoughs stopped.  Maybe now someone can get to the bottom of why you aren't getting the medical assistance you need.  I hope they get that woman out of there.  Why don't you write a letter of complaint to her bosses?


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## nativesith

Yeah...no hic cups and diarrhea!  But feel a lot of pain in my hot spot. The bosses are not going to be in all week!  Typical! That woman....I just got off the phone with Indian Affairs.  They said they are going to make sure my next visit is a pleasant one.  They also said they are going to look through my files. Pretty sure INAC is coming here! 
They are gong to phone back later, can na wait.
They did na phone back.  But they did come to the Band Office today.  I seen em going through EVERYONE's files.  I made my appt and I saw a woman who was extremely nice(was that soo hard?) and I am FINALLY getting medical tomorrow!
I feel like a fighter, like a boxer or UFC fighter.  I am fighting soo hard for everything.  I am forced to fight for myself and my rights.  I have fought for medical treatment and medical financial aid.  After years of pain and abuse in my band office...I finally came out on top.
However...doc Warner is na in til May 13th now(some family emergency). My new appt is May 13th @ 3:30pm.
Two weeks...but I feel like I am getting better with the medication she gave me.  My appetite is growing.


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## nativesith

Damn it!   Just when I thought My stomach / hemorrhoids were better.  All came crashing down today with all the bloody symptoms. Extreme fatigue, soreness in lower part of body(IE LEGS,KNEES<ANKLES),running nose/sneezing,Moving slow,Thunder stomach,Gas,Diaheria,Blood, even had pain in my chest.  I was thinkin I was doing better so I decided to try a day with out any painkiller or laxative.  No matter what I put in my stoamch,it all made it upset.  I had a glass of milk and started pooping like crazy.  First there was blood on the poo and then it all got really watery.  Had soo much work today, I kept thinkin I can na do THIS!  IDK...I guess talking to these Social Assistance people was making me believe I was getting better.
Soon as I take a painkiller the stomach slowed down, soo happy about that.
It was TERRIBLE today.


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## CarolinAlaska

Poor Floyd.  Sorry it didn't work out better.  I hope tomorrow is better.


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## CheerBear12

Hope it gets better soon how did may 2nd go?


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## nativesith

2nd never happened, postponed until the 13th . Still feel really bad.  Woke up to the feeling of razor blades in my stomach.  More blood yesterday.


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## CheerBear12

Oh god so sorry :-( let us know how 13th goes hope your feeling better soon good luck


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## upsetmom

I hope you start feeling better.....you have been through so much...:ghug:


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## nativesith

I do not know what to do anymore...
No Dx for the longest time.  Seems like the world is against me.  
Trying soo hard to make a somewhat normal life through all of this is extremely hard.
Pain is my constant companion.
More blood/black poo today.  There was A LOT.  I hate the feeling of waking up scared of pain, fearing it will become worse.  I hate seeing blood, why won't it stop?!
Bloody hell! 
Now my butt feels sore, like a numb pain all round my hips(more so on the right).


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## CarolinAlaska

Floyd, I was at a CCFA (Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America) conference today on IBD. I took one big thing home from it, and I thought of you and a few others... One of the GI docs said that if there is any possibility of stricture in the bowels, it is malpractice for a doctor to prescribe pain meds as they will make the problem worse, increase the nause, slow the transit, and ultimately could lead to bowel rupture! You have got to talk to a doctor and get weaned off of opioids. No one ever died of too much pain (even though you feel like you will), but MANY young people die of opioid complications every year (even when given in right doses). Opioid related deaths are now #1 cause of death in people between the ages of 18-40! PLEASE talk to your doctor and get off this stuff - and probably the THC as well.


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## nativesith

IDK...all I know is it is getting worse. Artheritus.  My Hips,knees and now elbows.  Elbows are hard top straighten out, they crack when fully extended.
Pain...how would I get through it?  When it gets bad(which is A LOT)it feels like a stabbing pain.  Most times it will stop me right in my tracks or make me bend down clutching the stomach.It throbbs with pain. 
Now I am 160-150 I can feel something hard in the upper left side.  I can also feel it on the same area in the back.  Almost like I was cut open and it is in stitches. Burning side pain that varies ,sometimes it is like a fire others numbing.  Laying on right my left side pulls down.
But painkillers making it worse I have heard before.  But, I did not take painkillers and this started.  This started and I ask for pain relief, which I was granted way later.  Pain is na my friend or something I want to hang round all day. 
THC is the one thing that kept me alive the whole time.  More and more I am thinking it is a Stomach aneurysm.  Something is ballooning out and it is painful.   I do NOT want to feel like this!


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## CarolinAlaska

It's horrible, isn't it.  You are caught in such a catch 22.  Ask your doctor to help you find nonnarcotics to help with the pain:  amitryptylline (for abdominal pain, nerve pain), celebrex (for joint pain), neurontin (for nerve pain).  CBT and PT can help with joint pains and chronic pain, but these would take regular visits and a commitment on your part to make them work.  Have they tested you for rheumatoid arthritis or other connective tissue disorders?  Has your sed rate or CRP ever been high?


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## nativesith

I understand what you are saying.  Morning is the time when everything happens, really how I gauge my day.  If I feel bad pain straight away, I know it will be a bad day.  That is when I take something for pain.  Past week it was good...it was just the past two days.
If anything...I really am learning how to deal with this whole situation a lot better.
Today as a example, I had some yogurt and a glass a milk(not at the same time).  I just used the bathroom and it almost looked normal.  Side feels tender, but the pain is not that bad.
Tests?  I really want to go through a lot of them as you described.  Not really looking forward to that.  I just prey the tests /medications does the trick.
Artheritus?  I have been diagnosed by my old GP in my lower back.  I know it got worse since then.


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## nativesith

Well...just found out the check I received last week had no medical monies in it?!
I was told by two workers I was going to receive it.  Indian affairs even stated.  All one needs to receive medical is the release and a letter form a doctor, I have tow of each?!
I have nothing.  Lost most of my tech equipment. PA system...gone.  2 Laptops...gone.
wii game...game. 3ds ...gone.  I do na have much left . Really do na have much food, let alone the kind of food I need.  Damn it...why won't anyone help me?
They lied to me , right in my face.  Not just once ...three times.
Woke up with the razor feeling again...big surprise.
O Creator...my life.  It is a test like gauntlet I endure everyday.
Trapped in a darkness...hopelessly searching for the light.
So hard trying to stay positive in conditions like this.
It has been over a year since I was forced out of school.  On social assistance ever since, received no medical help from them what so ever.
I realize what I have always known in the back of my mind.
My band will never help me, they only drag me down making everything worse.  I will never ask them for help again.
I just checked my mail, something I did na do for a few weeks.  It seems Dr. Lim ordered a Small Bowel Fluroscopy on the 2nd.  I re booked until the 16th @8:00am.  Not really looking forward to that.
Also my wife went to social assistance and asked why we did not receive any thing.  They told her we will get the check tomorrow.  We'll see how that goes.  I do na expect nothing, I refuse to let them get my hopes up.


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## nativesith

Well I am soo glad I did na expect anything rfom welfare.  They did na give me anything.  Instead they accused me of collection not jus welfare but medical as well for over two years.  I have told em many times that is not true.  I never received one medical. 
Who did?  Someone collected it, sure was not my wife er I.  I have the paperwork to prove, check stubs as well. I can not wait for my step dad to get his payback, then mine will begin.


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## nativesith

I ave been soo hurting physically and financially.
I feel a pain constantly.  In the top of my stomach with it radiating to the back(mostly on the right side).
Social Assistance...said I claimed medical for months.  Now they say I may get cut off entirely.  They are holding me accountable for someone stealing government funds.  They ave upset me everyday for weeks.  They dragged this out, now they want me to go back on Monday.  WTF do they want?  They want to see me get down and BEG?
Soo tired of hearing lies.
O creator...when will my story get better?  Will it?


----------



## nativesith

I made up my mind.  I am going to the ER today and I will get some kind of test on the pulsating lump.  I can na wait until next week.  I must do this NOW.  I fear it will burst open soon.  Pain is the worst.  There is a lump just below the ribline on my upper left(right where the top ab muscles).  With a feeling of low circulation in my legs. Nausea and vomiting.  I had high blood pressure for years, I can see my heart beat in both of my wrists!  I KNOW WHAT THIS IS NOW.  Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm, just need a doctor to test.
TODAY!!!


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## CheerBear12

Oh god let us know plz


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## upsetmom

Good luck and i hope you get the treatment you deserve..:ghug:


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## nativesith

Well I jus got back from the ER, did na go as I expected.  I seen Dr. Adabesi, who feels I should do the tests on the 16th and see My GP to get this tested(Which is the whole bloody reason I went there).  He said he feels confident the next few tests will reveal what is giving me all this pain.
I told em that pain the the top of the list , followed by the pulsating lump.  Feeling of low circulation in legs, feeling full when I eat jus a lil.  I feel nauseous and I vomit occasionally.This time last year I went to the ER.  I woke up with the feeling like a sword was slowing piercing my middle top abdomen.
Pain was totally unbearable that day and I heard my heart pounding in my head..  They did a few tests and said I had a heart attack and let me go.  Dr. Adabesi did na believe me when I told em this.  He said they would 've done something.  Story of my life I replied. Then I told em about the EGC's that proved my heart beats exactly like one that has had a attack.
However ...in the end he said to continue the way I am going.  I did tell em that the hemorrhoids and constipation were more controlled now. He prescribed codeine with refills.  Basically threw painkillers at me and told me to go home.
Then I went to a pharmacy I do na go to (My usual one was closed) where they acted like I was a ghost.  I stood there for 25 minutes waving my prescription around before I stormed out.  I can take the pain until tomorrow , if I must.
I feel soo ignored and alone.
Must wait until the16th, bloody hell.
He did say I seem to be doing well since my high blood pressure is well (Normal?!) with the adalat XL. Basically just keep doing what I am doing and continue on with the tests.


----------



## nativesith

Well...the car is not in the best of shape.  Dr Warner rescheduled again .  Now it is Friday @ 9:30 and I got the appt on Thursday.  I can na make all these.  IDK.  I am broke as a joke.
I feel Social Assistance is na going to help.  They will cut me off soon.  This is doing nothing but stressing me and my whole family out.  I will do my best to try ignore my pain. I can na do this anymore.  So tired.  I need a job desperately.  I accept my fate .  
I am going to try and find a job.


----------



## Mylittlesunshine

Sorry you are going though all this 
I hope you get the right treatment soon


----------



## nativesith

It is down to using the car on thursday.  I prey it makes it.  I am applying for jobs as we speak.  I am tired of begging.  I really hope I can find some form of office job around my area.  I am a highly trained and educated man.  I am confident in my abilities.
I feel I can work through this...I must.
I need funding and no one is going to help with that but myself.  I am trying to set something going for thursday and friday...but it is not looking good.  How does anyone expect me to do anything?  I have nothing.  If I do get the car going I just want to find a job and begin working NOW.  I do not have time for this BS.  I been dragged through the mud for soo long.  If I do na get a job ...I do know what will happen.


----------



## nativesith

Well today is going a lili better.  I awoke feelin how I usually do.  But SA actually called to give me a 80 dollar cheque(After I went and hawked my soft modded Wii and Flat screen).  But it helps, I am getting closer to figuring out my ride situation.  But right when I left my house I began to get unbelievable pain in the top of my stomach. It was hard to keep a straight face while I was out in public.
Last night...OMG.  It felt like a THUNDERTORM in my stomach.  It made noise all night.  It was soo bad it made me wake to try to go, but nothing came out.
IDK...waiting on replies for work.  Keep my fingers crossed.
Now my right foot feels like there is needles or slivers in the joints when I walk.
Bloody hell...why?
Gave in to codiene....I hate this.
I do na do it everyday...but today it jus too much.  making me cry.


----------



## nativesith

Just getting ready for bed and for the small bowel flouroscopy ordered by Dr Lim (must wake up at 600am).
I could na find any other ride than my car...I prey I make it there and back.
Day after...I have a appointment with Dr. Warner.  Just making all of these is really hard.
I hope and prey tomorrow goes well.  Wish me well everyone.  
Good night.


----------



## Hope345

We all hope it goes well for you.  Let us know what you find out as soon as you are able.
Sending you lots of support and pray you get some answers.

Hope you find the job you need as well.


----------



## upsetmom

Good luck!!!


----------



## CheerBear12

Good luck let us know how you get on


----------



## nativesith

Soo Early..Just about ready.


----------



## mccindy

Keep us posted.  It sounds like you have been through the ringer with all of this!  And financial difficulties just make it that much harder.  I'm so sorry things are so tough for you right now.  Let us know what answers you get!


----------



## nativesith

I made it!  The car did na act up!I knew I would make after I seen a rabbit jus standing there staring at me before I left the reserve.  He gave me the luck I desperately needed.  When I got back I drove through a crowd of dear that seemed to be jumpin round in honor of my return.  I love the wild life...my home.
Can still taste Barium .  Told to drink LOTS of water.


----------



## CheerBear12

What did they say? Give any indication of what they think it is? I love animals too. This time next week I will be in recovery probs after surgery  stressed isn't the word!


----------



## mccindy

Any results, Native?  I suppose it will take a few days to hear anything.  At least the test is over and the animals are happy for you!  I think animals are so wonderful for healing and peace.  I have two dogs and they certainly are good at making me feel better.  

CheerBear, hugs and prayers for you for next week. I hope surgery and recovery go smoothly for you!


----------



## CheerBear12

I have two dogs as well they don't half cheer you up when your down. Thank you means a lot


----------



## nativesith

I jus finished feedin my dogs...whew.  They were getting restless.
Results will be in next tuesday.  I can still taste it.  Tying to work up some kind of appetite is hard today.  Feel really bloated.
But I am soo glad I got er done.
Can na stop thinkin about that rabbit.  He was straight up gawking at me...did not run er anything lol.


----------



## LondonFoy73

Native, 

I just read every single posy on every single page of this thread. It was like a soap opera. One minute I was laughing, the next minute I was crying, the next I was angry. 


After reading it all, I need you to believe!!! 

BELIEVE, YOUR CONDITION WILL IMPROVE. 

I feel your pain, I understand where those pains are, I am with you in your fear, and am standing tall beside you and will walk every step of your journey with you. 

1. Barium milkshake is gonna give you hard, white poo in about 12 hours after you drink it. Be prepared with the laxatives and take it real easy when you go. 

2. You need a form of antacid for that stomach pain. Go speak to your pharmacist and get 'prilosec', it will reduce your bodies acid production, which will stop the hostile environment inside you. The small meals, pain and vomiting is your food not going down. It is very likely an inflamed ileocacel valve, which is the 1way valve between the small bowl and large bowel. It is not a fix, but will provide relief until the barium results are back. 

I am awed by your strength through all this and I believe in you!!


----------



## Hope345

Glad it is over too...   
sending hugs and prayers


----------



## nativesith

Thank you all for the well wishes.  Today was hard on me.  Still tasting it.  Like the barruim stopped my stomach.  Past few days I been gettin the feeling of pins n needles in my right hand and right foot.  It HURTS..I almost double over.  Sometimes it feels like my foot will cramp up soo bad it will fold itself.  Days when I feel tired (Like today) is when that is bad.
Soo hard trying to remember all of this(my hand,foot, test today, pulsating lump, etc.) when I go in the doc's office.
I will do my best tomorrow that is all I can do.  My Aunt will be here in the morning.
Good night everyone.


----------



## Hope345

Make a list before you go.     It will help you to not forget anything important.
The doctors only have a short period of time with each patient and you want to make sure you cover everything.       
let us know how it all goes.


----------



## nativesith

I did na forget about anything...thank the Creator.  She set me up with a 
Neurologist appt on June 12th(Warner on 17th).  She said the cold feeling with pins n needles is not good.  I still feel cold, my legs are freezing.  I do na see anyone else saying it is cold.  EVERYONE is saying it is HOT today.
It was soo hot many people in Edmonton were wearing shorts.  My Aunt noticed almost every woman that noticed me started staring at me.  She yelled at one saying he is practically married ya sic azz.  I laughed soo hard, damn my auntie is mean. I informed my Aunt that ever since losing weight THIS is what has been happening.  I feel like crap, but I look like a Adonsas lol go figure.  Everywhere I go I see googly eyed women..bloody hell.  I am sick and hot lol.


----------



## mccindy

Well the being sick part sucks.... but enjoy the ogling! Gotta take the good stuff when you can.


----------



## nativesith

It was good catchin up with and laughing with my Aunt.  She tried taking me to Mc Donald's. I said That part of my life is over.
But I really enjoyed her company this time. The neurologist I know is a step in the RIGHT direction.


----------



## CarolinAlaska

nativesith said:


> It was good catchin up with and laughing with my Aunt.  She tried taking me to Mc Donald's. I said That part of my life is over.
> But I really enjoyed her company this time. The neurologist I know is a step in the RIGHT direction.


Yea for you saying no to McDonald's!  You would have been really bad off if you had given into that temptation!  Your doc didn't have any results from the MRI flouroscopy?  

Be sure and increase your stool softeners if you are doing that codeine very often!
 <<Hug>>


----------



## nativesith

Results for the Flouroscopy will be in on tuesday.
Past two days I have been stressed waking up early to make the appts and the Barruim OMG.  The extreme tired feeling really made me feel cold and the pin n needles feeling worse.  I was scared, thinkin I was going to run into a brick wall and everything would come screaming to a halt.  Scared of something  bad happening to me. When I am well rested...that rarely happens. But getting enough rest is a problem some nights.  Little sounds wake me up.  Last night it seemed like the whole reserve was partying.  My dogs were going crazy all night.
Dr. Warner felt the pulsating lump.  She said it feels like the whole top of my stomach is like that.  She guessed the lump is old waste matter.  She is confident the test(Flouro) will reveal it.  She is extremely worried about me(Stomach, roids and blood flow?!), and is disgusted with Social Assistance.  We will be starting the AISH soon.
IDK how to feel about all of this...I jus want my life back.
My birthday is coming up soon.  On tuesday...IDK how to feel about that.   Another year like this...


----------



## Hope345

I hope this next year brings good health and some much needed relief from pain and discomfort.

You have made a lot of good friends on here that care for you.  I am one of them 
Happy birthday early!!!!


----------



## lizbeth

I really hope you get the results you want and some answers, best of luck. :ghug:


----------



## CheerBear12

I hope the results come bk ok for you let us know plz we are all here for you. I'll try and reply before Thursday coz I've got surgery so won't be on for a while after. Hope it all goes well thinking of you. Hope the next yr is pain free for you


----------



## nativesith

Thinkin about all these test and results I totally forgot about the blood test I taken a week ago.   I do na see the doc til next month.  
My garden has started becoming green...idk if that is a good thing anymore.  It is jus become another thing I can na do.  My water does na work out side my house for some reason.  Meaning I must put water in a container and walk it out to my garden.  Tried it today... my right foot got the feeling again.  Soon after my hip(right side) began feeling sore.  My wife bought more strawberries...I really wish she did na do that.  More work for me.  She made me water them and watched me while I did it?!  I mean if she wanted em ...why can na she take care of em.
Story of my life...like hey lets make sic ol Floyd DO EVERYTHING! 
My right side...last night I went to sleep fearing my foot was going to fold itself in cramps.  Feeling like cramping ...pins n needles kinda pain lately...suks soo bad.


----------



## LondonFoy73

....even more importantly, don't be tempted to eat of them when they've grown... the small pips on the side will play havoc with you....next time you look at one, just imagine each and every pip scraping its way down inside....brrrrrrrr......shame I know, but anything that can be done to ease the comfort...lol


----------



## lizbeth

You have my sympathies about the garden  I used to grown my own fruit and veg on an allotment but had to give it up cos of joint problems, I switched to growing some at home and enjoying my garden but now I look out the window and just see a space I can no longer spend hours in cos my knees, hip, lower back and right hand are too painful, it breaks my heart, even more so cos even if I could grow fruit and veg most of them I can't eat anymore, sometimes life sucks!!


----------



## mccindy

I feel the same way.  I used to love my garden, lots of rows of fresh veggies and working in the dirt!  Now I can't really do that anymore because of my back, and even if I could, I couldn't eat the results.  It sucks!
Native, I'm sorry to hear your wife didn't help you with the watering.  Why would she buy the plants and then expect you to do all the work, doesn't she help you?  Keep fighting, I hope you get some good news soon.


----------



## happy

Hi nativesith,
You might want to look up some Vitamin info in the wiki. Low B12 can cause pins and needles and low magnesium can cause leg cramps. If it were vitamin deficiencies, the symptoms would usually be on both sides, though.

When I was ill, after I had been malnourished for so long, I developed severe disc protrusions in my spine because I lost so much of the muscle mass that supported my spine. The symptoms can be similar to what you describe. If you can't get a doctor to check it out for you easily and quickly, then try getting into a physical therapist. They could tell you if a disc protrusion is the cause and also begin treatment for it. 

Hope the pain eases soon.


----------



## lizbeth

I used to love my allotment, I would go there on the way home from work, spend a couple of hours and then harvest whatever was ready and come home and cook it, I always worked dinner around what ever was ready to eat.  I would make strawberry jam and I'm so sad I can't eat it anymore , I still have a few pots left from the last batch.  I'm giving all my fruit trees and plants away to a good home but it still breaks my heart.  I feel like my body has turned on me in that I can now no longer do my hobbies, apart from reading which I can do again since I got a kindle, I'm sort of lost for something to do to pass the time, feel like life is passing me by , sorry for being so dramatic.

Native....I'm sorry about your wife's insensitivity  Hope things improve for you. :ghug:


----------



## nativesith

No one is dramatic ere...I feel  great sadness about our gardens.  Ever since I was a child I wanted my own garden.  I wanted a field of berries I could call my own.  When I was a child I used to go out picking berries all day.  End of the day I had pales which I would eat by the handful.  I can na do that anymore.  My body has turned on me. It is hard takin care of my dogs and my garden.  Soo much work...and the garden I can even eat what I grow anymore.
I hate it...I had taken b12 and Vitamin D(Even the past few days) and I still get cold feeling and pins n needles(Woke up feeling cold). I woke up to a poop storm...lol.  Do na know how to describe it any better.
I do ave a new kitty...she brightens me up...like right now.  So fluffy.


----------



## mccindy

There are those wonderful animals again!  Dogs and cats are so good at helping us feel good, aren't they?  I know when I'm not feeling well a good snuggle with my dogs does wonders for me.  I'm glad you can find some bright moments even when you're having a tough day.


----------



## LondonFoy73

Native, I know it feels a million miles away, but there is hope. A lot of people do get on top and in control of their bodies. I have met many people with crohns and/or colitis who have got on with their lives. I know of a successful children's TV presenter, a member of our parliament, a gastroenterologist, a managing director, a film producer, a international rock star.... All of them, never gave up. Their journeys were long, painful and lonely, but they overcame their issues. 

If you want your garden and to eat your berries, then you can do that. Set yourself that goal, and don't stop til you taste the sweetness. I believe you can do this!!


----------



## LondonFoy73

... Even my weekly blood test girl.... She also has crohns, but she's managed remission... So she can do her vampire act on me.....


----------



## lizbeth

Animals are wonderful  they know when we need their magic, I would be lost without mine.


----------



## nativesith

It was a really bad day.
2 to 3 hours after I woken up everything started to get bad.  My wife began cooking.  The smell of the food made me nauseous. I began feeling even colder than I was before.  Tiredness came soon after.  I felt like I was going to faint or collapse.  I went to lay down and slept for four hours.  Still feel kinda bad and sore.  I have a feeling near my neck(right by collar bone)that has been a real discomfort.
I prey I receive a call about the small bowel flouroscopy...they HAD to see something.
Feels like I am dieing.


----------



## Hope345

I hope you soon get all the help you need to get better.


----------



## CheerBear12

Hope you get sorted quick  I feel for you let us know how you get on


----------



## lizbeth

Wishing you well Native, God bless.:ghug:


----------



## nativesith

No call...damn.
I am thinking that episode was my heart.  I feel like I was going to black out with a pain in my neck.  I still feel a discomfort in my neck.  I had pulled a neck muscle before...this feels different.  My circulation seems really messed up, I can feel it.
Have to relax.  The appointments and my money problems have been stressing me out.  I was extremely tired for days, waking up early and fighting for sleep at night.
While I lied in bed I though I was trapped in a prison cell of pain that no one can let me put of.
I am 38 years old today.  Thinking of a bit o Ice Cream cake( a cake made entirely of Ice Cream), but that really is for my family.  But first I need to make a bit of cash.
Later everyone.


----------



## happy

You know nativesith the year that I turned 38 was awful. My mom died from cancer, I was diagnosed with one form of cancer and I had surgery for a second suspected cancer (it wasn't cancer yet, just dysplastic tissue--lucky me!) I developed secondary problems from the surgery and then because some family members decided that I wasn't having enough misery then, they decided to treat me very badly. Because of all of the trauma in such a short time period, (on top of some incidents in childhood) I am certain that I developed PTSD. Only back then there was no name for what had happened to me and no treatment.

I haven't talked about this on the forum before, but I am now because I want you to know that things can improve--despite how bleak things seem to you now, they can get better.

It is many years later for me; back then I didn't think that I would still even be alive now. But I am. And I am thriving. I have many blessings in my life.  The symptoms of PTSD rarely interfere in my life now, and I have even reconciled with the people who hurt me back then. 

Don't lose hope. I am glad that you are going to celebrate your birthday, even if you are only doing it for your family's sake. May this year be the one where you begin to heal in body, mind and spirit. Many blessings to you on the occasion of your birthday.


----------



## Hope345

sending birthday wishes your way....    and lots of prayers for a good year for you!!!!


----------



## upsetmom

Happy Birthday!!!


----------



## lizbeth

Happy birthday nativesith, sending you the best possible wishes I can, hoping that 2013 is the year that brings you remission and peace.  Life as we all know is challenging and at times makes you wonder why we bother but even in the darkest moments there will be a tiny light, it may be difficult to see, it could be the smell of the roses or a smile from a loved one? Or of course a kind word from your friends on the forum . Take care and know you have support from your friends, God bless. :ghug::ghug:


----------



## mccindy

happy (belated) birthday native.  38 was only almost 3 years ago for me, I don't remember that it was that eventful except for that it was the year my back took me out of work and I had to have surgery on it yet again!  Look ahead to 40, maybe things will improve for you and you'll be looking back smiling on the bad year you made it through.


----------



## nativesith

37 was the worst year of my life.  I thought I was going to die more times than I can count.  I went from 280 to damn near 150.  I lost EVERYTHING, and made a ton of bills.  It can only get better from here.
I do feel better today...that feelin in my neck is gone.  But now I got a sore feeling in my left arm.  But at least it is na my neck er back lol.
My college friend Renee is taking me out later to Edmonton.  Trying to work my self up for that.  Would na mind checkin out a casino.  lol
Love ya guys/girls .


----------



## 723crossroads

Happy Birthday Nativesmith, 
May God bless you this year with much better health and wholeness in every sense of the word. May he bless you and keep you,
may he make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you
and give you peace! Amen!:ghug:


----------



## nativesith

I was jus thinkin about Heaven...
Ray Manzarek RIP.  I was saddened learning of his death today(He passed away on May 20th).  He was he greatest keyboard player EVER.  Ray and John helped bring Jim and Robbie's words to life.  One of the greatest idols of my life.  I got kicked out of a theater when I was 16 watching "The Doors" movie in 91(for being naughty in the bathroom...will na go in to that lol).  That was when I found them...
The Doors...greatest band EVER!  Ray n Jim together again.


----------



## mccindy

I don't know how many people here have read Stephen King, but he has a short story about Rock and Roll artists who have passed.  It's kinda creepy (of course), involves a bunch of the famous passed-on stars living in this off-the-beaten-path town, forcing the citizens to attend a concert every night where they play their stuff for hours on end!  
I'd hope the reality to be a bit better - all the old cronies hanging out, riffing and having a good time together.  Rock concerts in heaven.


----------



## nativesith

I was in a cold phase.  Symptoms of a extreme head cold.  Running nose, sneezing, aching all over with hot n cold feelings.  I felt like I NEEDED a hot drink constantly...when I did na have one it got worse.  
But...during that whole episode ...my stomach was better.  
What next?
I feel a ache in my side.
I think this Pantoparozle is really helping.  My stomach does na sound like thunder any more.


----------



## nativesith

Symptoms of the extreme head cold are going away.  Now the pain is beginning.  Seems like even the proton pump can na help the stomach today.  Tried eating a banana and became very nauseous.  I bleed soo much last night. Hard night getting and staying asleep.  Need to phone the doctor tomorrow.  In case the GI wants any tests done.


----------



## nativesith

My equipment ,like my life, is fallin apart.  Both my laptop and PC taken poos(O the irony!?). I did ...get em both back online.  Least I still got my brain workin.
But I suppose it was good to think about all this.I have come to many realizations with  my recent birthday.  How could I forget I had a heart attack this time last year?! A heart attack that was bushed off as nothing.  they sent me home doing and/or with nothing.  Like ya you had a heart attack now go home. 
ever since that day my life had gone to hell.  My stomach my circulation.  Now I have pin n needles with a pinchin feelin in my neck that comes n goes.
I really wish I could say I was better.
I am hopeful the next specialist visit reveals something.
It has to...round the middle of June.


----------



## upsetmom

Haven't heard from you in a few days....Just checking to see if everything's ok.


----------



## mccindy

Hopefully that darn PC didn't take a poop on you again and keep you offline.  hope you're able to join us soon and keep us updated!  thinking of you, hoping all is well.


----------



## nativesith

My equipment...again.  Well two days ago I bleed.  Yesterday I felt extreme fatigue, soo bad I felt like doing NOTHING ...with hot/cold feelins all day.  My left leg was soo sore, my foot felt like it wanted to cramp up all day.  Feelin in my neck was going back n forth from right to left.
Freakin me out!  Now I can eat more...but I am scared.  Scared of this blood flow/heart condition. IDK if I should gain weight.  
My whole lower body feels really messed up.  It seems ..no matter what I do I am stuck in this cycle of sickness.
Two weeks until I see the Neurologist


----------



## Hope345

thinking of you Floyd.  Hopefully they will figure out what is going on soon.


----------



## nativesith

The woman I call my wife...unhelpful, unsupportable and downright mean.  Yesterday she noticed me limping round sneezing and blowing my nose constantly.  You are always sick she stated.  I did na say any anything...I thought You are always a ass. Later on, she said people she talks to are telling her to make me work.  I asked her who are these people and why are you talking about me with them.  She would na answer.
Then top of all dat, she harassed me for sex...then complained about it.  I could na take it anymore...I stormed out of my room yelling.  
No wonder my heart and blood flow is this bad.
It is her, she made me like this. Why me creator....all I ever wanted was what is right.
But she is na right for me...I know that now.


----------



## CheerBear12

Hope you two manage to sort this out.... Thinking of you you don't need this from the person that is supposed to support and love you.


----------



## 723crossroads

I can't even imagine not having the support of my husband. It makes all the difference in the world, in every circumstance, he defends me, uplifts me and helps me when he can. God said let a woman be your help meet. In other words, your right arm and best friend.:ghug: In times like these, you need your friend so much. Praying the Creator shows her how wrong she has been.


----------



## mccindy

Exactly!  I wouldn't make it without the support of my husband either.  He's so supportive and helpful and never complains about any of my medical problems and the complications they add to our lives - he just feels bad for me with all of them.  I hope that native's wife figures out how important a solid relationship is and that "for better or worse" really does mean you keep going and being a good wife even when times get tough.


----------



## nativesith

I tried going for a walk the other day.  Jus tried going to my special place.
My legs(My feet,back,knees,ankles)...I felt like was going to collapse on the road.  That was two days ago...I am jus now gettin over that.  It was na very far...
I could only walk a minute before needing to stop and rest.
When I got home...I took a hot bath.  It seemed like I was taking a bath in my own tears.  I cried soo much that night.
Gettin a feelin like the top of my stomach has a lot of pressure that comes n goes.
All of this has really effected my appetite in a negative way.
Arteritus is getting soo bad.  That was a eye opener.  The more I move round...the more the arterius pain increases.  I could barley move round the past couple days.
Dr. Warner wanted me to try go for a walk.


----------



## happy

nativesith,
Have a look at this article and see if matches your symptoms--if so this would be good information to give to your doctor.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/claudication/DS01052


----------



## nativesith

It does...that day OMG.  I felt REALLY bad.  I used to be able to walk that far with no problems.
I feel handicapped.  There is a celebration on my reserve today.  It is like 2-3 mins away...but.
I am afraid to go...I do na want anyone seeing me hobble round er stoppin to rest on a 2 minute walk.  I feel like a baby.
Whole rez is practically partying in my back yard...but I am stuck ere.
My wife n kids went without me.
I thank the Creator for my Uncle who is keeping a eye on me.


----------



## Hope345

Sorry to hear things are so bad right now Floyd.
sending hugs and prayers.   Remember you are not alone.   The Lord is with you and we all care about you!!!!


----------



## 723crossroads

Sending prayers and hugs!:ghug:


----------



## nativesith

My legs...everyday I awake feelin like I was liftin wieghts.  My legs are sore on a daily basis.  Exercising em makes it worse.  I can exercise my upper body.  But some days even that is hard.  I started violently sneezing when I woke and hurt my back really bad.
I have a routine for my stomach that has been working really well.
About a week to go til the neurologist.


----------



## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> My legs...everyday I awake feelin like I was liftin wieghts.  My legs are sore on a daily basis.  Exercising em makes it worse.  I can exercise my upper body.  But some days even that is hard.  I started violently sneezing when I woke and hurt my back really bad.
> I have a routine for my stomach that has been working really well.
> About a week to go til the neurologist.


I waas just reading about lack of B12 causing severe leg cramps and pains. I have been having problems so I got B12 shots and I have to tell you, it has definately helped!!! Is there anyway you can get these???:ghug:Or they now sellb12 sublingal that melt under your tongue you could try.


----------



## nativesith

Damn it I have no way of making any appointments next week.  IDK how to do any of this anymore.  I have no money no job and no fuking health to fall back on.
Really want to die.  I want this to end.
I woke up in great pain...my stomach.  It was better for about three weeks.
Now it feels the same as it did before.  Left side is in wicked pain...no appetite, Cold, Legs feel bad.
I did re schedule the neurologist appt for a week later, when I can actually make it.
I do na even have the money to be sick.  I can na make appts to locations 100's of kms away. Jus about lost all my tech stuff now...I do na have much left.
Soo upset I had to re schedule....and the fact I had to take pain killers today.
This is gettin worse and Idk how to stop it all.


----------



## nativesith

Since Father's Day is on Sunday...the band put up a lil father's day dinner today.
I hobbled over there to see if I could win a prize to help brighten my day.
That did not brighten my day.  When I got there they began speaking about almost everything I have been going through.  Stomach problems...polyps,cancer, pain, weight loss, stool tests, colonoscopies!  All I heard was laughter...I sat there while the whole room laughed.  I could na take it...I walked out.  My brothers think EVERYTHING I ave been through is a big fukin joke. This is NOT FUNNY! BASTARDS!
They all thought is was soo hysterical to have a camera put into a rectum. I have to go through that again soon, and I had to hear that?!
They do not know about the levels of pain...or how it destroys a life.


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## 723crossroads

I'm so sorry native you have to endure all you are going through with the pain and no real solutions and then to have your family treat you that way is just dispicable and sad. I am so sorry and apologize for them because someone owes you one. God be with you dear man! I hope and pray for a miracle for you!!!:ghug::hug::Karl:


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## CheerBear12

I'm so sorry you had to go through that  I'm feeling down as well  there goes the saying you can't choose you family but you can choose your friends I hope they start treating you better coz you deserve so much more big hugs we are here for you. Thinking of you


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## upsetmom

I just can't believe what you told us.....i don't know how anyone can make fun out of a sick person.

:ghug:.we're here for you.


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## CarolinAlaska

I'm sorry your week was so bad.  I hope you wake up feeling better tomorrow.


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## nativesith

Think you misunderstood.
The fathers of the Reserve gathered for a lil fathers day dinner.
Some social service group was speakin about stomach issues.  When I said my brothers...I meant all the men of my reservation who I grew up with. My brother can be a complete Jackazz at times, but he would never do that to me in public(I would pimp slapp him soo hard lol) They were na making fun of me directly, although many of em know exactly what I am going through.
IDK if that is bad or worse...They laughed , I cried.  Can na stop thinkin about the laughter, I can still ear it.
Those people were na comedians, they were speaking on a issue that seems to be rippin my life apart.  
I have never felt like one of them, like a normal native man.  Creator made me differently.I am kind and bright, they are brute and slow.
That was the LAST event I am going to for a while.  It is na for me.
It was the like the community was rubbing this in my face. There is jus so many different levels to THIS.
Really emphasized how different I am from the rest of my tribe.


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## nativesith

I really wish I had the energy to stand up for myself.  I let everyone walk all over me, simply because I am to tired to argue or make a big fuss.  Like my brother...came over half drunk expectin me to do a load of Tech work for free.  I did na have the energy to say no and start arguing with em. Drives me crazy...like why would he do that to me when I feel bad most of the time.
I hate arguing and any kind of negativity,,,however that makes oneself to passive.
My sister is mentally handicapped..I help her a lot.  We help each other out as much as we can...jus wish my brother would do the same. He comes over and tells us how great his life is.  Like I went to see this concert, or I went to this really expensive restaurant.  While my sister and I sit at home, handicapped and broke.
Really getting on my last nerve lately.
But some days lately...I feel like I can not even help myself.


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## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> I really wish I had the energy to stand up for myself.  I let everyone walk all over me, simply because I am to tired to argue or make a big fuss.  Like my brother...came over half drunk expectin me to do a load of Tech work for free.  I did na have the energy to say no and start arguing with em. Drives me crazy...like why would he do that to me when I feel bad most of the time.
> I hate arguing and any kind of negativity,,,however that makes oneself to passive.
> My sister is mentally handicapped..I help her a lot.  We help each other out as much as we can...jus wish my brother would do the same. He comes over and tells us how great his life is.  Like I went to see this concert, or I went to this really expensive restaurant.  While my sister and I sit at home, handicapped and broke.
> Really getting on my last nerve lately.
> But some days lately...I feel like I can not even help myself.


Try looking at your brother as the handicapped one ,because you are obviously smarter and more sensitve to people and more caring. You can do tech work he can't understand. All those things he gets to do doesn't compare to the rewards you will get someday for your kindness and compassion. God will bless you!!!:ghug:


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## nativesith

Surrounded by darkness...
Seems like it is all gettin darker.
Anyone ere ave a fistula er fissure?  Reason I am askin ..
I have a bump on my butt, it will na go away.  Think I ave had it for at least three months.
Sometimes it gets bigger, almost to the point where I can na sit down. It is na in the center, more to the side.  Bloody hell...poopin seems like it is going through a straw.  See blood every few days. Soo much pressure, in my stomach and in my life.  Pressure to preform and provide for my family.  Never helps when the whole reserve talks ill about me. They all think I ave taken bad drugs...they say that is the reason I ave lost soo much weight and is also why I do na work. I ave known about it for a while...
But that is messed up, they say all those things about me.  Then they will come over whenever their PC er Laptop goes down.
Next week Neurologist and Dr Warner's...prey that goes well.
I thank you all for your kindness and friendship in my time of despair.

MORE bad news...My ISP has been trying to pull money out of my acct like three times?!  So now instead of payin for one month of internet...I am paying for 4?!  All because of a stupid holiday that was on the 20th.  Bloody hell I have no money...and they want MORE.
Even the one flat screen I ave left is poopin out, video cuts in and out(sound had something to do with it). But it is like a year old.  Has a warranty that Wal mart will na honor since I live on reserve where we ave no physical addresses.  Hell I even paid for the protection plan.  Protection plan with no protection for Natives...figures. Why ME!!!!! My life is fallin to pieces .
All dat on top of my stupid stomach n legs.


----------



## nativesith

20 th of every month...always seems to be one of my busiest time,in terms of my business. I do na know how I do all this.  Really hard to do now...been going hard on PC's Laptops n desktops.  Lifting, pushing,pulling...
Feel like I am forced to do this.  Have no other choice.  Soo much pressure now to pay the bills. Diggin a hole..keeps gettin deeper n deeper.
 THC is helping...but I hurt my hip n back earlier.  Still more to do.


----------



## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> 20 th of every month...always seems to be one of my busiest time,in terms of my business. I do na know how I do all this.  Really hard to do now...been going hard on PC's Laptops n desktops.  Lifting, pushing,pulling...
> Feel like I am forced to do this.  Have no other choice.  Soo much pressure now to pay the bills. Diggin a hole..keeps gettin deeper n deeper.
> THC is helping...but I hurt my hip n back earlier.  Still more to do.


I know it's hard, but you have to try and think postive. The more negative you talk, it's like asking for more negative things to happen. Start saying postive things about your life. It really does help make it better. Words are powerful!:ghug:


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## nativesith

I got through it...But this is hard.  There was this one desktop computer that gave me numerous problems to hurdle over. I used to have flat monitors ...but I lost em.  Now I have big phat old monitors and very lil space / plug ins.  That is what hurt me, I had to open the computer again and again.  It is really hard for me to accept how I am now.  My limitations are overwhelming...when I used to be like a rock.
I really wish words of positivity(which I hear everyday lately, thanks to my uncle)would heal me.  But we are reminded a lot in the past few weeks of limitations.  An hour ago I was sweeping my floor for about five minutes when I got a really bad feeling of pins n needles in the back of my legs.  I had to quit and rest. I tried hiding it, but my uncle noticed.    He told me jus to concentrate on my work. My work something I usually love doing...jus was na soo great today.I know...everything can only get better from here.
Getting bad rashes.  Got it really bad on my back, arm and hands.  Almost like blisters/ bumps.  Then the thing near my rectum...that is really worrying me.  The more I try to poo the worse that gets.  It has been there for months.
Despite it all I got the jobs done lol. Almost gave up for a while.   I have money to help put a lil dent in my bills.
I want and prey to get better.  I can na wait for the neurologist and doctor appointment next week.


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## 723crossroads

And I hope and pray that that appointment will give you the answers you are seeking. I am so glad you got through that difficult day. Keep smiling through and praying and trust Him to see you through and He will. I am praying for you! T:ghug:


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## nativesith

Preying a lot lately. Today is better...I went in my front yard and I was surprised to find a big wild strawberry patch.  Birds seemed to be screaming their songs into my ears.  Love my garden...even though I can barely eat anything I grow.  soo much rain round ere...I ave na had to water for a couple weeks(Now there are MAD mosquitoes).
I have stepped down in my role as the leader of my mod team. I can barely keep my life together ...let alone lead a team of modders. I can na keep kiddin myself.  I know there will be a day when I feel well enough to be THAT nativesith, but now I do na feel like him.
But I really need to concentrate on myself.
I really sympathize with any type of handicapped disability...since I know now I have one. It is na like I didnt before...now I understand it all better than I ever have. Eating, using the bathroom and jus movin round my house are overwhelming obstacles for me now.
I really need a DX for treatment and paperwork to back it all up.  No treatment is what hurts me the most. This is a DISEASE .Always about some paper...


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## upsetmom

:ghug:..I hope you get some answers soon.


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## nativesith

> ..I hope you get some answers soon.


I prey for answers as well.  But I can na let myself get too upset if I do any get any next visit.  Soo used to being put on the shelf...I expect it(maybe too much).
Meantime...I am enjoying myself with my family(My Uncle, sons and nephew).I have a ol dog his name is Number Two, he is eight years old.  Today we noticed when people walk by(We live right by the Local Store)and they do na have a dog...he will escort em there and back to my house. We all laughed at em...WHY? lol


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## 723crossroads

That is so cute! What a sweet dog!


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## CheerBear12

Awwww that's sweet I love dogs


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## nativesith

Number Two is my favorite dog and best friend. He starts shaking his butt every time he lays eyes on me, so I do the same lol.
But today...OMG...we are depressed...even Number Two.  
I awoke with the usual pain I usually ave round this time of the day.  But my wife was violently throwing up and my youngest son was having a asthma attack.  I called the ambulance...that was a few hours ago. That scared the living hell right outta me...I was in a great amount of pain...but that did na matter.  My SON! I can understand my wife...she is pregnant.  But my son...no one smokes in the house...yet everytime we take em to the hospital they are SURE someone is smoking in my house?! He also gets arteritus!?
This is freaking me out...his skin looks like mine...he has like the same cold syptoms I get.  Please Creator do na do THIS to him...I could na stand it.  I can take the pain...but he is jus a child.  He seems to be going through an EXTREME version of what I went through..A lifetime of sickness with NO ANSWERS.
Top o all dis...my sweet Ma...had a nervous breakdown and is now in a Mental institution.  No money and no vehicle to go see my loved ones.
I wish I could run like I used to...I want to run away from it all.
Wish I could turn into a bird and jus FLY...O Number Two...When will things get better for us?


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## 723crossroads

Praying for you brother, hang on to the Lord and he will walk with you! Pray over your son and tell whatever it is to go in His name. God finds favor with children and I hope he sees fit to heal yours. God bless you!!!:ghug:


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## nativesith

Both my Son and my wife are still in the Hospital, no word yet on what is the cause.
But I am thankful they are being taken care of.
My Ma I really do na know what to say...I am at a loss for words with her.
Stressed out ...I got the feeling in my neck again.
It wasn't a totally bad day...my uncle and I got my truck fired up.  It has na been running in a few months...but it sounded good today.  I jus need a few more lil things and I will be set to hit the road, finally.  I am glad I never got rid of the ol Ford.
But I am a lil scared.  My uncle is leaving for Calgary until the end of the month...and my wife is still in the hospital.  I really must stay strong right now.
I must care for my son and daughter by myself for a couple days.
This is na easy.


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## upsetmom

:ghug:....  I hope you wife and son are ok.


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## CheerBear12

Hope they going to be ok keep us posted


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## 723crossroads

Praying for a safe trip and good news and good health to help you through!


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## nativesith

Woke up feelin how I usually do.
My wife jus called...she said our son is doing better.  His Oxygen level was really low, still no cause.  
My wife...they say something is wrong.  Could be gall bladder or kidneys.  They ave done tests, but they have na admitted her.  So she must buy her own food whie she is there.  My son also HATES the hospital food(They jus tried giving him fish, which he hates).  So the wife must really buy food for the both of em.  Before she left I gave her all the money I made(A 140 dollars).  I told her na to worry about it, I can and will make more.
Tomorrow is the BIG Neurologist appt EARLY in the morning.  So I must have my sister sleep over to care for my children while I go to Edmonton.
I prey it all goes well.
Day two of jus myself , my son Eli and Daughter Emily( And my uncle is still round lol).


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## 723crossroads

You are such a good man to bear all you do for others. I am so blessed to hear you now speaking so positively! You are a champion in many people's hearts, I'm sure, I will keep praying for you!:ghug:


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## CheerBear12

Good luck hope it goes well and keep us posted. Hope your son and wife get the answers they need and you of course. Thinking of you


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## nativesith

I am preyin so hard for answers now,Preyin for my mother. For my son and wife and for myself.
I know in my heart that tomorrow's appt is the ONE, I can feel it in my heart.
I feel the pinchin feelin in my neck, with pain in my stomach ,hips, knees , ankles.
I prey this brings a end to my suffering.  Neurologist tomorrow and Warner two days after(Results should be in by then).
It is a struggle to stay positive when soo many things went wrong lately. But...I did make it THIS far.


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## Hope345

thinking of you and your family floyd.  ...
sending prayers and support
j


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## nativesith

Woke up in pain.  My wife called and said they are gettin out TODAY!  Horray!
But I woke up to my uncle's cookin and it does na smell good.  The smell is makin me nauseous. He is ol school native who likes ol school native cookin(I am afraid to try or even ask what it is).  I cleaned my kitchen , took out the garbage and mopped the floor, I can still smell it?!  really have to speak with em about this...cuz I feel nauseous enough most mornings I do na need any extra.  Know my wife n son will na like it, damn it. But it is NECESSARY.  He is helpin me fix the truck and it will be done later today. We HAVE to get er done by Thursday, the day he leaves for Calgary I can hopefully go visit my Ma today.


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## 723crossroads

Hope all goes well today and hooray the family is coming home! Great news!
Hope you feel better now too and take it easy now!!!:ghug:


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## CarolinAlaska

How did your neurology appt go?  Glad your son and wife get to come home today.  I hope they are feeling better.


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## CheerBear12

How did it go? Hope your feeling ok soon. Hope your wife and son is ok and feeling better soon


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## nativesith

Wife n son made it home and they are feelin loads better, but no real answers.
I felt really bad today.  I am sure this is inflammation, it feels like it did in January.
The neurologist...I would ave to say that was more of a check up/assessment.  He did say he wants a MRI of my spine.  Expectin a call, Appointment with Doctor Warner tomorrow.  I really need to update her on my condition.
I prey all goes well tomorrow.  We really need to finish the truck by Thursday.
One of my dogs(Threesocks) got his ear nipped by another dog.  It became infected.  My uncle suggested I try the native medicine(Ground Bark of a Certain tree) I ave been using on him.
He instructed me to mix it with a lil cooking oil and rub it in the wound.  The infection was gone within one day?! After seeing that with my own eyes I started ingesting more myself and I swear I can feel a HUGE difference.:eek2:
I was using it before...but it is like it never worked as good til I seen it work on another being.


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## CheerBear12

Why do they want a MRI scan of your spine?? Let us know how it goes good luck. Glad they feeling better. Sorry to hear about your dog but glad it worked. Did I read it right your taking it as well! Hope you get some answers soon


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## nativesith

I have no idea why a MRI on my spine, to be honest...that visit did na go how I expected.
IDK ...doctors.  Talk to Warner about it today.
Yes I am taking Native medicine, but after seeing it help my dog...I am  convinced of its effectiveness. I mix some in with my tea...at the end I ingest all at the bottom.
Tastes kinda like a spruce tree lol.


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## CheerBear12

I don't either coz your spine is nothing to do with your bowels or stomach it's baffled me I'm confused sounds like these doctors don't know what they doing to me. I'm hoping you get to see someone else who knows what they talking about. Sorry to hear it didn't go well today. Lol at least that spruce tree thing works has it eased your pain? You feeling better since taking it?


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## nativesith

I will talk to Warner about the neurologist TODAY.  The native medicine...really bought the level of pain down.  I am set to try it again in about 5 minutes actually.
Gotta get ready to go with my brother to Edmonton.


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## CheerBear12

Good luck let me know


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## 723crossroads

Let us know what the medicine is called and can you purchase it anywhere?
So glad you are getting some relief from it, that is really amazing! Glad you have your family home too!:ghug:


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## CarolinAlaska

I think that the MRI of the spine may help to rule out pain that originates from nerves in the spine, it can also look for things like MS and other forms of neuropathy and neuritis.  Give the doc a chance and don't write him off yet.  I know that your gut is your major problem, but he may be able to figure out something with your other pain issues and inability to walk, etc.


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## nativesith

15 minutes to my appt...no way of makin it.  DAMN!  Trying na to let this get me down...but it is a fight I am always losing.  I hate the way everything is going.
All I ave now is my native medicine...I only ave my Creator now.
IDK how how or when I can make any appt to see her.I hate my so called brother soo much right now.  I can na believe him.

I am going to have to say good bye to Dr. Warner.  I can na make it to Edmonton every few weeks.  She really has na produced any results or given me any medication that made a difference.  Dr. Dippennar really helped me and ultimately saved my life.  Warner IDK...even if I did make it all I would ve got was excuses and well wishes. I like to think if she did have any results that she would ve tried to contact me.
IDK.   Makin a appt with Dippennar tomorrow..it may be two months before I see him(He is in real Demand).
Warner wasted my time for almost three months or so.  I ...really believed in her. 
I am soo glad I made sure to send Dippennar a copy of all the test results I had to past few months(I suspected this would happen).
I will do the MRI...but Dippennar is the only doctor that will get the results.
Dr. Lim my GI has not called or anything.  He mailed the Flouroscopy request.
This is what someone else said about him.


> Every experience I've had with this doctor has been awful. He came out from my first scope told me I have sever crohn's we may need to consider surgery says he will see me in 2 weeks. Well 8 weeks later when he finally sees me he tells me well its just mild after review. He has repeatedly gotten me confused with another patient. I always end up talking with my family doctor because Dr Lims office always pushes my apts by months some times. I know a few of his other patients and they all have they same problem. He doesn't tell you much in the room if you don't have questions which you don't really know what to ask. I'm on a waiting list for another doctor and I can't wait till I don't have to deal with Dr. Lim.


At least that person got a Dx and got to see him with a two month period, something my case does not receive.
That with more reports of his staff being rude and nasty.
I really want a different GI...like NOW.
Did some research ...and I found that a Dr, Fedrorak of the U of A is one of the top(if na the TOP) GI in Alberta.  I would love and need to see HIM.
Made the appt with Dippennar...JULY 29th?!
He is at my local ER once in a while...I am going to have to phone there and see if he is one.


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## 723crossroads

Ask for the results of your tests. They will make a copy for you and take it with you when you go to the next GI. I ask for a copy for my records. Some places automatically give you one now here. Hope you find a new one soon!


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## nativesith

Never had the option for any records.  They never said here you can have this for your own records.
Really wish anything happened SOON.  Do na think that is in the cards.  It all seems like a gamble to me, gambling with my life.  What doctors have done to me.
Everything is worse, rashes are getting soo bad now, really can na believe how bad my skin is. I do ave something for that...but it is obvisouly not helping.Makin me feel ugly on top of everything else. Wanna cover all my skin and hide from everyone. I also asked someone who has a fistula and a fissure about my bump.  I am now sure it is one er the other.  It feels like a raised bump that kinda popped open and bled(ALOT! And I am also sure nothing came out BUT blood.)after that the pressure kinda felt better...but it is still there.  Native medicine has helped the pain...now I am contemplating jus putting some on that bump.  Think I MUST.  I ave nothing else.
MRI and dippennar is scheduled for the End of July, only the Creator knows how long it will be til the next scope. I prey I can make it that far.
I feel skinner yet my stomach still feels like it is Bloated out.


----------



## 723crossroads

Hoping you get rid of the rash. Try the natural med and see if it works. I hope it does. Keep us posted and we'll keep praying!


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## nativesith

I have always lived my life by the golden rule.  However living on  resevre my whole life and treating people the way I want to be treated NEVER worked out very well for me or my family.
I am na going to be Nice to anyone round ere anymore.  They all take advantage of the NICE guy.  Like my business, the way it is set up.  It is like I give away 25 % of my sevrices for free.  That extra money comes up to almost 300 a week.  Why am I helping people who do na help me.  They all make me do a pile a work for next to nothing.
I did it to get more business, but I ve done that.  All deals are off.
My brother is the worst one, makes me fix all of his computers for nothing.( I NEVER remember aggreeing to THAT).  Then when I need help he is NEVER there.  He made me miss my appt, and he could na even take me to see my Ma(That hurt more than anything).
I feel soo stupid losing that kind of money ...when I needed it the most.
I am sick...and everyone is taking advantage of me.  Rashes are getting worse...really do na know how to stop it. It spread all over my back and all over both arms(Even my fingers that is where it hurts the most on the finger joints).
I found some ol oinment for my Enzema(THIS HAS HAPPENED MY WHOLE LIFE)which I am trying now.
My eyes are wide open...and I hate what I am seeing. Someone even came over last night (AFTER midnight) and asked me to fix a computer for next to nothing.  Then that person got mad when I said no.  He even said it was his 40th birthday a few days ago?!  I replied it was my 38th birthday last month, and he did na give me anything(lol).
That was the last straw ...that broke the camel's back.


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## 723crossroads

I understand your frustrations and the need to vent this. You have been the good guy your whole life. Helping others and doing kind gestures too. God will bless you somehow for them. I too have been taken advantage of for my kindness and have always considered it a gift to God. I guess though if this is your way of making a living though, you need to start charging people what your services should cost. But don't forget to do good deeds too in the mix with people who truly need it. Not those who take advantage. This is just my opinion though. God bless native!!!


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## nativesith

I have been doing business outta my house for about ten years now.  Practically every day I did something for free.  I always thought that it would pay in the end.  I really have bent over backwards for some people.  Even when I felt like hell, I still did what I felt I had to.  But thinkin back on of this I feel soo dumb.  I could ve bought a new vehicle and made my appointments.  I wouldnt have lost soo much of my tech stuff.  I would not have been soo overworked and underpaid.
I go out of my way for everyone, and no one has done that for me.
Feel like such a suka.


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## 723crossroads

You're a good kind, caring man with a heart. Hard to find these days! God will bless you!


----------



## nativesith

I really trained myself to be a caring person, give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  I can na do that anymore.  It was all good when I felt normal, but now I do na even remember what "NORMAL" feels like anymore.  Pain is what I know more than anything now.
Always has too be in my life.  I wish it  would stop...this disease.  I know..it is uncurable...what ever I have.
Soo much to deal with most days.
I endure...what no person should ever have to.


----------



## CheerBear12

We are all here for you


----------



## nativesith

Thank you all my friends.
Second day of my new business plan and so far it is going better than I expected.  I thought I would never hear the end of it  raising my prices.  But everyone I talked to understands my situation.  I am sick with nothing but my home business.  I can not afford to do any work for free.  I am no longer undercutting myself.
One obstacle I must overcome, my brother.  Why do I have to be the bad guy?  Does this to me at the worst time. I am avoiding that argument, like I do to all.  But I know that day is coming ...soon.
I woke up and found myself sleeping on my left side.  That hurt, not just then...but now to.  I wish I could sleep on any one of my sides without any bad feelings.  I always must sleep on my back, when I try to move on a side...it gives pain that awakens me. I am not constipated...what gives?
Inflammation...is the best way I can describe it.
Raised bump is still there...but since it bled it really has not felt as bad as it did before. Rashes OMG!  All over my back and sides!  My arms and fingers(like blisters on my hands?!).  Tried two different ointments...I have one more.  Hope/prey that works...my skin is getting really bad.


----------



## kss

Wow, I was was once accused by a doctor of being an alcoholic in denial in an ER. I thought I was probably the only one. But nope. Thanks for sharing the story. I was about 21 or 22 at the time and I was asked if I was a university student and then accused of drinking too much after I insisted I never drank. I was then ignored. I left on my own a few hours later. It was very discouraging and certainly effected how I went about trying to get help in the future. I had to go about 3 more years and about 5 more ER visits before a Crohn's diagnosis.


----------



## nativesith

This is very discouraging ...in fact I am still dealing with that.  I NEVER want to go there, even now when I have to do something like that.  I am running out of my medications.
I really do na want to go there.  They straight up torture me.  Almost like they are angry with with for being sick all the time. IDK what to do, all I can do is prey and take my native medicine.  I think I will be all right on my own, with no financial support, no doctor, and no vehicle.  IDK how long it will be, if ever, until I find the cause. This is native life, I wish it was na like this.
I fight everyday, I fight my self pushing past to try and provide for my family. I have na fail them, at least I can say that.
One thing I have that has always brought a smile to my face no matter how I feel. 
The GTA mod team and others at Psx Scene.  They have been supporting me and my work for years.  It continues in unbelievable fashion.  They have started a donation fund thread to get me back working again lol.
They are na gonna stop until they have a 3.55 ps3?!
I can na believe my brothers...my REAL brothers.  People I have na even met in my real life have done soo much for me.  More than anyone has in my whole life.  IDK how to react to all this...I love my Psx family even more than I EVER have.  Means so much to me right now. They ave given me soo much...more reasons why I must fight.  I made this team from nothing...now we ave come soo far.  Creating new and better ways of playing.
I need to continue down my modding career.  They ave reminded me of who I am and given me a powerful inspiration.


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## Hope345

sending lots of support your way.  Proud to know such a hard working guy who loves his family and is doing the best that he can.

that is so good to hear about the fund.


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## nativesith

Well first I ave EVERYONE here.  I believe I would na be here if it was not for all the help I received here.   Really helped pull me through the darkest time in my life.  My brothers at the game site have always been there for me. In fact many of the mods made were made with the intention of jus trying to make me feel better. They have, always made me feel better. Jus the fact they ave suggested and are trying to make something happen is unreal.
They are soo great.
  But most there could never really understand what I am going through.
Now I am thinkin about the tests I asked for in January.  I know I asked Dippennar to test my Pancreas.  I know I even asked a ER doctor.  I remember thinkin it was a bile duct problem back then. My skin is really bad
(rash all over my back , stomach, arms and hands...like lil bumps almost like blisters on my hands) and the pain...starts when I lie down.  Morning is the worst time...like pressure is building up from lieing down all night.  When I get up the pain goes away...very slowly. Late at night is when I feel ...almost normal.
I have to point EVERY doctor in a direction.  Why can they not see or suggest any tests would produce results.
I know what I need now, ECRP, the scope that goes in the Pancreas.


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## 723crossroads

sending hugs and prayers your way too!:hug:


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## Crohn's gal since 1989

nativesith said:


> This is very discouraging ...in fact I am still dealing with that.  I NEVER want to go there, even now when I have to do something like that.  I am running out of my medications.
> I really do na want to go there.  They straight up torture me.  Almost like they are angry with with for being sick all the time. IDK what to do, all I can do is prey and take my native medicine.  I think I will be all right on my own, with no financial support, no doctor, and no vehicle.  IDK how long it will be, if ever, until I find the cause. This is native life, I wish it was na like this.
> I fight everyday, I fight my self pushing past to try and provide for my family. I have na fail them, at least I can say that.
> One thing I have that has always brought a smile to my face no matter how I feel.
> The GTA mod team and others at Psx Scene.  They have been supporting me and my work for years.  It continues in unbelievable fashion.  They have started a donation fund thread to get me back working again lol.
> They are na gonna stop until they have a 3.55 ps3?!
> I can na believe my brothers...my REAL brothers.  People I have na even met in my real life have done soo much for me.  More than anyone has in my whole life.  IDK how to react to all this...I love my Psx family even more than I EVER have.  Means so much to me right now. They ave given me soo much...more reasons why I must fight.  I made this team from nothing...now we ave come soo far.  Creating new and better ways of playing.
> I need to continue down my modding career.  They ave reminded me of who I am and given me a powerful inspiration.



This is why being a good person means so much!  You can only choose the way you are going to react to and treat people.  The rest is on them.  Your brother uses you and takes you for granted because of the type of person he is.  You have decided to rise above that and that is why your Psx family values you!  Family no matter what colour your skin is usually has some inconsiderate screwed up members that love to stir the pot and cause trouble.  Please try your best to rise above all the petty nonsense as this can be affecting your health too.  My Crohn's did not start to feel better until I stopped worrying that others were judging me.  Stress and this illness definitely do not mix!:hug:


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## nativesith

It is hard trying to stay positive when I am surrounded by negativity.  I am wicked sick they doing nothing but make this worse.  All the people that call themselves my friends and many of my family members are really negative.  They bring it from their lives and try to force it into mine.  I have always tried to be a good and caring person no matter how I feel.  I would never say to them what they have said to me. I would NEVER disrespect someone and then turn round and ask em for something.
Many of these men are acting like women round here lol.  They feel the need to comment one how I look.  That is never a good thing.  They have said my skin hangs and looks gross, then they ask me to fix their computer?!  OMG feel like smashing it, HULK SMASH!  And these are MEN?  Why are they eyeballing me like that?  Kinda creepy.
My so called friends...then they have the nerve to get mad at me for not wanting to go out and do stupid stuff with them.  They get mad...I have no money...I never want to go out with them...they get mad I am na on Facebook. I am not on face book for that reason, as I see it as a site that promotes negativity and small minded thinking. Soo self centered... all I hear about is how they are cheating on their spouses and their spouses are cheating on them.  The only time they acknowledge me is when they are badmouthing me saying I look like a pile of skin.
They are not my friends...I am going to tell em that.  I do na need friends/family like that.  I have had enough.  All of these people I helped out in their time of need.  I never thought twice about it.  I never said anything that would make their situation worse.  
Everything I have heard and their reactions to my situation, really disgusts me.
All these people(My brother, college friends, cousins, aunt,distant relatives,and even a few of my customers) have treated me like this.  
I want them all out of my life starting TODAY.  No More!
My real friends and family are on the NET.  You are my family now.:hug:


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## upsetmom

Well said!!!:hug:

We have a lot of my husbands friends come over and l find they gossip more than ladies.:yfaint:


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## nativesith

I think my new attitude/outlook on life is paying off.  I FIXED MY OL FORD TRUCK!  I can na believe it.  My uncle and I pulled our hair out for months trying to figure out what was choking it out after 25-30 after startin it up.  First we thought it was the catalic converter...so we punched a hole in it and banged it round a lil.  Tried it ...but it still did that..choked out.  My uncle jus gave up on it.
I had to take a step back and figure it out.  Before he left he said the only other thing it could be was the coil. So I went out and bought one(like a hundred dollars?!).  Then I looked at the coil...really should ve done that the other way round.  I looked at it and one wire was hanging one by one thread?!  I thought about it...if one of my computers wires was like that...it would na work. Soo I had to cut the end off where the bad connection was.  I threaded a wire through a lil hole and twisted that up jus so I could splice it back on the the original wire.  And ....it works!  I did na even need a new coil.  The ol one works fine...it was one wire(hangin one by a thread) that has held my truck up for over a year.
OMG...it has not died on me yet.  Over a hour now with no problems.  Thank you Creator for giving me this blessing right now.  I needed this.
Now I jus gotta make it to town tomorrow to put on the insurance and registration.  Then I could go pick up my MA...she is bustin loose tomorrow(They are voluntarily letting her her lol).
I knew it could only get better .
.


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## 723crossroads

and I told you your good deeds would pay off. God blesses you for these things!!! So happy for you!:dance:


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## nativesith

It was that one wire that held me up for soo long. The ol Ford passed every test I through at it today.  We drove round the Pow Wow, about five miles from here.  It made it there and back with no problems.  Now I know I can see a doctor soon.  Jus gotta get the paperwork for the truck.
But today I felt I pride I never felt before.  The pride of fixing my own truck and knowing it works.  Thank the Creator!


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## CheerBear12

At least you'll be able to go to your appointments now and not have to rely on my anyone. I'm glad it's paid off for you


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## Hope345

That is SO Great Floyd.   Happy for you.


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## nativesith

Thanks, I love my truck soo much lol. When I am na going anywhere I jus sit in it.  I cleaned it put really good, checked all the fluid levels.  Many in my neighborhood noticed I fixed it.  Even though most had a hard time believing it, a few even asked me to look at their vehicles.  I do na even have tools.  I fixed my truck with a pair of scissors and electric tape.  
Add Back yard Mechanic to my list lol.
I gave ALL my dogs a ride yesterday, that was crazy.  They seemed to love it, seeing the world outside of my yard. Few people said my dogs are scary, one even said they would call the cops.  For What I said he is na doing nothing to you and he is tied up...soo BRING IT lady lol.
Running out of my medication...I have to see a doctor(even in a ER). My skin and stomach are pretty bad, but my ol red truck makes me feel better.


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## 723crossroads

So happy for you!!! Sounds like things are looking up brother! Hope you get some help for your rash and other problems. Stay in touch, we missed you!


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## nativesith

Well...I did make it to my local ER today.  I seen a doctor who I showed my rash to, he said he would prescribe something...big surprise...NOTHING.   It was soo hot today sitting in my truck made my arms worse.  He did a excellent job of ignoring and minimizing my pain.
I did get my proton pump and adalat XL. The doctor was quite amazed at my knowledge of medication, I have you all to thank for that.
But some days the pain in my stomach, legs and now rash becomes to much.  It is hard to sleep and stay asleep.
I have become too used to pain and doctors like that.
17 days to go til the MRI and 19 for an actual GP appt.  I am thinkin about making another appt now, after the 29th just soo I do na have to wait a month and a half to see em.  But I am sure that is not allowed. When I see Dippenaar I will ask for his Email.There has to be a way to communicate with him, since situations like this are making it worse for me.
I must concentrate on my truck.  Next ...steering column...since now I start it with a scissors lol. So going to Edmonton with my Uncle to get the part and get er done lol.


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## CheerBear12

Hope they start listening to you soon hope they sort it out ASAP for you. You don't deserve any of this nobody does.


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## nativesith

Of all the doctors and specialists I ave met, Dipenaar is the one who really listened and gave me medication that really mattered. I wish he was at the ER yesterday. Both the doctor and nurses seemed mad at me for going to the ER(Doc's exact words were"Come on , you should know better than this, like they wanted to wait until the 29th to see my doctor.  The Nurse said I should phone my doctor directly and he could rush my appt(like her doctor does for her?!). " I was like...R U KIDDING ME?!
You ave your doctors phone number?"  Wen she has a appt for a month later she simply phones her doc and he makes it way earlier.
I could na help but think about that while I squirmed in bed trying to sleep (Until 4am), trying to make as lil noise as possible. Felt like I was forced to wake up at gunpoint with a rifle jammed in my side at 8 am. Sleeping situation is driving me CRAZY!  I have na had a dream in months.
It begins as soon as I lie flat, by morning it is way worse.  It feels soo raw and sore...I should know better than this?! Unreal...


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## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> Well...I did make it to my local ER today.  I seen a doctor who I showed my rash to, he said he would prescribe something...big surprise...NOTHING.   It was soo hot today sitting in my truck made my arms worse.  He did a excellent job of ignoring and minimizing my pain.
> I did get my proton pump and adalat XL. The doctor was quite amazed at my knowledge of medication, I have you all to thank for that.
> But some days the pain in my stomach, legs and now rash becomes to much.  It is hard to sleep and stay asleep.
> I have become too used to pain and doctors like that.
> 17 days to go til the MRI and 19 for an actual GP appt.  I am thinkin about making another appt now, after the 29th just soo I do na have to wait a month and a half to see em.  But I am sure that is not allowed. When I see Dippenaar I will ask for his Email.There has to be a way to communicate with him, since situations like this are making it worse for me.
> I must concentrate on my truck.  Next ...steering column...since now I start it with a scissors lol. So going to Edmonton with my Uncle to get the part and get er done lol.


Hi! Try to keep your skin out of the sun. Many people are sun sensitive and develop a rash from being out in it and it sounds like you are all the time. it happened to me once and it was so itchy, drove me nuts! Wear long sleeves if you can and wear sunscreen if you can and just see if it helps.*There is a new product out called Instaflex and it has been proven to be the very best at helping joint pain. You can order it online and they give you the first two weeks free. It's worth a try. Sounds like you have arthritis so bad.*


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## nativesith

I found three old medications for rashes I had prescribed before.  Nothing is helping that. Cotriderm is the only one that seems to be helping a lil with the cooling.
I am constantly working on my truck outside.  My life is directly related to the ol ford.  She fails ...I fail.  I can na let that happen.  I must see this through til the end.
No matter how much pain er quacks stand in my way...I will smash through em all. 
Steering column today...my uncle and I are getting ready.  I can na believe I will ave a key...no more scissors lol.  That pair of scissors is the tool that fixed it! lol.


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## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> I found three old medications for rashes I had prescribed before.  Nothing is helping that. Cotriderm is the only one that seems to be helping a lil with the cooling.
> I am constantly working on my truck outside.  My life is directly related to the ol ford.  She fails ...I fail.  I can na let that happen.  I must see this through til the end.
> No matter how much pain er quacks stand in my way...I will smash through em all.
> Steering column today...my uncle and I are getting ready.  I can na believe I will ave a key...no more scissors lol.  That pair of scissors is the tool that fixed it! lol.


Do you have access to aloe vera? It is very helpful and using it on your skin is also like a sunscreen I read. Smmear the inner gel all over yous skin. My daughter and grandson once got burned so badly, they had scabs all over and pure aloe vera gel healed them and no scars at all!!!


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## nativesith

You read my mind.
But ...I was thinkin. When I got the Adalat XL yesterday.  I had taken it and started feeling more itchy then I was before.  It is a side effect of the medication.  That with constipation, diarrhea, nausea, swollen and pain ful joints, feeling of low circulation,  These are all side effects of Adalat! Why would any doctor listen(if any EVER did) to me and then prescribe something that makes EVERYONE of my conditions worse.  They made the everything WORSE and the minimized the pain. The ER doctor was trying to increase the dosage of adalat and he failed to give any ointment. When I got home I was fightin the the ichy feeling and walking worse then when I left.I am my own doctor, they are not helping me at all.  I am never taking any medication without doing my homework on it ever again.
I am stopping that medication TODAY.


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## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> You read my mind.
> But ...I was thinkin. When I got the Adalat XL yesterday.  I had taken it and started feeling more itchy then I was before.  It is a side effect of the medication.  That with constipation, diarrhea, nausea, swollen and pain ful joints, feeling of low circulation,  These are all side effects of Adalat! Why would any doctor listen(if any EVER did) to me and then prescribe something that makes EVERYONE of my conditions worse.  They made the everything WORSE and the minimized the pain. The ER doctor was trying to increase the dosage of adalat and he failed to give any ointment. When I got home I was fightin the the ichy feeling and walking worse then when I left.I am my own doctor, they are not helping me at all.  I am never taking any medication without doing my homework on it ever again.
> I am stopping that medication TODAY.


_I definately agree to stop taking that medicine now. It is so hard to know how you will react to new meds and it's hard to know if a condition is caused by crohn's or the med. See what happens in a few days and then hopefully ,you will have your answer. But in the meantime, try the aloe vera gel and see if it helps._


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## nativesith

The past three days...I had not taken it for two.  My legs did feel better in that time.  When I taken the adalat I felt the feeling almost in 15 minutes after taking it.  I noticed straight away it made me feel worse.  I have felt every side effect of it...I am sure of that.
I know I will feel better not taking it.


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## Hope345

Not sure if it is the same situation, but my nephews whole body breaks out in a rash because of the Crohns.   His body is doing its best to handle it, and inflammation of the skin is another way it does.     He is also NOT on much medication to treat it.     He runs a farm and has no insurance.   
Rashes can be caused from other things however:allergic reaction to medication, heat, other medical issues etc.

I have never heard of anyone fixing a pick up like you, that is pretty amazing


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## nativesith

I was workin on the truck again today.  I had to use my hands.
I could na help but notice the rash getting worse.  My right hand is pretty bad.  The lil bumps have died up and are peeling/cracking my skin.  My left hand?  I am beginning to see the lil bumps forming right smack dab in the middle of my left palm...wth?! I have NEVER had a rash this bad.  How could one have a rash on the palm?! It came outta nowhere and is itchy like crazy. The bumps are everywhere! I am now down to trying polysporin. My feet feel like they are freezing, and it is SUMMER. Front top left of my stomach feels like a alien is going to come ripping right out.
I will na let any of that stop me from working. I must keep going no matter what happens. Stronger....stronger.


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## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> I was workin on the truck again today.  I had to use my hands.
> I could na help but notice the rash getting worse.  My right hand is pretty bad.  The lil bumps have died up and are peeling/cracking my skin.  My left hand?  I am beginning to see the lil bumps forming right smack dab in the middle of my left palm...wth?! I have NEVER had a rash this bad.  How could one have a rash on the palm?! It came outta nowhere and is itchy like crazy. The bumps are everywhere! I am now down to trying polysporin. My feet feel like they are freezing, and it is SUMMER. Front top left of my stomach feels like a alien is going to come ripping right out.
> I will na let any of that stop me from working. I must keep going no matter what happens. Stronger....stronger.


Have you ever had pancreas problems? Or liver? I would get that checked out if it were me.


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## nativesith

I asked two doctors(in the beginning of this year) to test my pancreas.  I suspected it was that, when I read about the pain beginning when lying down.  That happens every day, wish I would get at least a day off out of a week.  But this is 24/7 365 days a year.
Those doctors jus bushed my suggestion off and went ahead with what they felt I needed.  Those tests, to them, all proved nothing.
29th I am demanding Dippenaar begin the process to test the pancreas and liver. He was one the the doctors who bushed off that suggestion. They did not listen to word I said,them ignoring the pain proves that. I am sure I feel my pancreas doing this, no matter how much I empty my stomach, the pain is always there.
My skin getting a lil better.  I am na sure if it is from not taking the adalat or jus fighting the itchy feelings. I asked the ER doctor like three time(trying to make sure I would get something for the skin), he said he prescribed something.  I am thinking he lied to me.
I am going to phone my pharmacist and ask em what happened.  I went there for my blood pressure and rash.  Now I must try to get em to phone that doc to starighten this out.
I feel a bit better than I did yesterday, I think I could eat today.  Barley ate yesterday.
My wife says my weight is constantly going down.  I slowed that down, but it still happens.
OMG...jus phoned the pharmacist....she said NOTHING was prescribed.  I asked him how many times.  She refused to try and phone him.  She says if I have a rash that is spreading that I should go to the ER.  Could be a virus or infection.  Go to the ER?!   I JUS DID THAT!  They ignored me last time, wth would make the second time any different?! Bloody hell, I do na want to go back there. That doctor said if I have any problems to phone the pharmacy and they will phone him, another damn lie.


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## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> I asked two doctors(in the beginning of this year) to test my pancreas.  I suspected it was that, when I read about the pain beginning when lying down.  That happens every day, wish I would get at least a day off out of a week.  But this is 24/7 365 days a year.
> Those doctors jus bushed my suggestion off and went ahead with what they felt I needed.  Those tests, to them, all proved nothing.
> 29th I am demanding Dippenaar begin the process to test the pancreas and liver. He was one the the doctors who bushed off that suggestion. They did not listen to word I said,them ignoring the pain proves that. I am sure I feel my pancreas doing this, no matter how much I empty my stomach, the pain is always there.
> My skin getting a lil better.  I am na sure if it is from not taking the adalat or jus fighting the itchy feelings. I asked the ER doctor like three time(trying to make sure I would get something for the skin), he said he prescribed something.  I am thinking he lied to me.
> I am going to phone my pharmacist and ask em what happened.  I went there for my blood pressure and rash.  Now I must try to get em to phone that doc to starighten this out.
> I feel a bit better than I did yesterday, I think I could eat today.  Barley ate yesterday.
> My wife says my weight is constantly going down.  I slowed that down, but it still happens.
> OMG...jus phoned the pharmacist....she said NOTHING was prescribed.  I asked him how many times.  She refused to try and phone him.  She says if I have a rash that is spreading that I should go to the ER.  Could be a virus or infection.  Go to the ER?!   I JUS DID THAT!  They ignored me last time, wth would make the second time any different?! Bloody hell, I do na want to go back there. That doctor said if I have any problems to phone the pharmacy and they will phone him, another damn lie.


Call the ER you went to and tell them what happened and that there was a mix up with your prescription and be real nice. Aske them to please contact the Dr. and have him call it in again.  Hopefully that will work. That is what I would do.


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## nativesith

I honestly will try that...but first.  I ave a idea...the native medicine.  My ma is getting another...I am going to try mix it with cooking oil and put it on.  I ave more faith in my own, then any other now.  This land, my faith, the ol ways.
More n more I see this as THE test of my lifetime.  I have become stronger than any native I know.  The words of my grandfather and great grand father echo in my head.  I am becoming a great medawakin(Medicine man).  I have seen and experienced soo much in my 38 years, more then some double my age.  Everything they have said is coming to life.  My test, my path, my destiny.  I am becoming more familiar with native and modern medicine.  I believe no other native (round ere at least)has the knowledge I now possess. Only the old elders have more knowledge about our ol ways.  Ways I must keep alive for my livelihood and my people. I now see the path and hope for tomorrow.
I am now seeing what I ave become. It was foretold..there would be a man born seven generations after the treaties were signed.  That man would be the greatest medicine man our people ave ever known.  He would lead us to  better place.  My elders always believed it was me...could it be?  I am going to learn more from my elders, I must do this.  I must share the knowledge I have with my people.  Everything I have learned ere has helped me soo much, more than any.  This is all for a reason...I believe it with all my heart.
Right now?  I  will focus on what makes me happy.  Workin on my ol ford...today.  I need to replace the fan belt, as the one one right now is half there lol.  Even my dogs seem to love the truck.  One of em ,JD, is head over heels.  Jumps in every time he hears it going.  He is my security system, he does the best job out f all my dogs.  Since I have no way of locking it, and I still start it with a scissors.  I found a steering column, but it has no key.  Must wait til Monday so I can go to the Ford Dealership for a key for the column...then I can put it on. Doing this, more than anything, is really making me feel better.  Doin my own thing, never mind doctors and ERs incapable of doing what they are there to do.
Doing my best to stay outta the sun.


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## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> I honestly will try that...but first.  I ave a idea...the native medicine.  My ma is getting another...I am going to try mix it with cooking oil and put it on.  I ave more faith in my own, then any other now.  This land, my faith, the ol ways.
> More n more I see this as THE test of my lifetime.  I have become stronger than any native I know.  The words of my grandfather and great grand father echo in my head.  I am becoming a great medawakin(Medicine man).  I have seen and experienced soo much in my 38 years, more then some double my age.  Everything they have said is coming to life.  My test, my path, my destiny.  I am becoming more familiar with native and modern medicine.  I believe no other native (round ere at least)has the knowledge I now possess. Only the old elders have more knowledge about our ol ways.  Ways I must keep alive for my livelihood and my people. I now see the path and hope for tomorrow.
> I am now seeing what I ave become. It was foretold..there would be a man born seven generations after the treaties were signed.  That man would be the greatest medicine man our people ave ever known.  He would lead us to  better place.  My elders always believed it was me...could it be?  I am going to learn more from my elders, I must do this.  I must share the knowledge I have with my people.  Everything I have learned ere has helped me soo much, more than any.  This is all for a reason...I believe it with all my heart.
> Right now?  I  will focus on what makes me happy.  Workin on my ol ford...today.  I need to replace the fan belt, as the one one right now is half there lol.  Even my dogs seem to love the truck.  One of em ,JD, is head over heels.  Jumps in every time he hears it going.  He is my security system, he does the best job out f all my dogs.  Since I have no way of locking it, and I still start it with a scissors.  I found a steering column, but it has no key.  Must wait til Monday so I can go to the Ford Dealership for a key for the column...then I can put it on. Doing this, more than anything, is really making me feel better.  Doin my own thing, never mind doctors and ERs incapable of doing what they are there to do.
> Doing my best to stay outta the sun.


I hope you are the good Dr. they said you would be. You can learn so much through all your life experiences and also becoming a good mechanic. My son is a mechanic and was born with the talent he inherited from his Dad. He can tell you what is wrong just by telling him what the car is doing. So, let me know next time and maybe he can tell me what he thinks! Hope you keep doing better and Mom's medicine works for you!


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## nativesith

I am in the process of taking in all the valuable information from the elders. I am going to start documenting all the medicine we are surrounded by.  I am gathering samples and I will find out scientific names and their properties and effects.  There is a lot of preparation, training and protocol  undertaking the call. I must make my own sweat, drums, and rattles.  Collect animal remains(Like a Buffalo Skull/hide and feathers of Eagle).

This will take years...which(I am sure) is why all medicine men are old.  Everyone I have met is at least 50.  I have about 20 years to train before I can help all others.  It is na like we wake up one day and say I am a medicine man, and the tribe goes with it.  Native life is filled with protocol...but many(like 95%) have lost their way.All I have experienced...makes me wanna hold on to it and never let go.
My whole life I tried to live as Canada wanted me to.  I tried to live like the rest of em.  I struggled and became sick at a early age.  Their doctors/medicine...NEVER helped me.  Everything that was thrown at me, only made it all worse.
Natives were na meant to eat all these processed foods.  Everything was given to us, this land, the animals.  I need to go back to that.
Ever since the Buffalo was taken from my people we have suffered and lost our way.
I dream of the day when the buffalo sound like thunder migratin the way they used to.

I did manage to put on the fanbelt, now I do na have to carry the wife's tights as a back up plan anymore.


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## nativesith

I remember talking with a elder for a long time, in front of my house.  He was amazed the amount of Native Medicine that surrounded my house.  I am just trying to remember EVERYTHING he said.  I remember he talked about the healing properties of this wild white flower that is everywhere round ere.  I made some tea outta it and it works better than the tree bark I was using for pain.
Skin problem is still ere...I need to make a fire.  Then I will get the ash to mix with cooking oil(My substitute for animal fat) for the Cree medicine for rashes.  I know it will work.
Since my way of thinking and living has changed, I have changed. I see everything as it should be.  Since I was born I have thought..."This is na me!  This is na MY PEOPLE.  This is how a Queen wants us to live".  My name is a lie...it is a label that was demanded of my people.  Floyd is a lie...that is na me.  My last name...was given to my family by a Indian Agent of the government.  My great grand father gave me my name after he took a sweat.  My name is Mikwan...Cree for feather.
My name is Mikwan ,a Cree from Louis Bull "agwa Sputnowinowok", and I am tired of living a LIE.


----------



## 723crossroads

Welcome Mikwan!!! White Willow Bark is a good pain reliever we can buy here but it is so expensive and I can't afford to pay that price for a small bottle. But, it does work well.


----------



## nativesith

Thanks for the recognition on my Cree name.  Thanks soo much for the willow bark, I will share my findings when I ave more data/results. I do feel stronger using it.
Kinda feel bad...jus had to put my foot down.  My sister...ever since I fixed the truck.
She has been drunk twice!?  Two times since then I had to put up with drunken nonsense. Had a rough night...the pain was really bad.  Makes it all worse when there is a party next door making my dogs go crazy.
I informed her...that is na why I fixed it.   I did it, so we can do what we have to do.  Not so we can do negative things like drinking and booze runs.  Ere I am ...under the hood EVERYDAY. While those round me think it is bloody PARTY TIME.
I wish , at least, one person round me would think and feel as I do.  There is no one like me.
Feel so alone...


----------



## 723crossroads

You are never alone even though you may feel that way. The Creator is always with you and you just need say His name and ask His angels to help you!!!:hug:


----------



## nativesith

Wish I did na feel so alone.  Taking a break from the truck today.  Do na have enough for anything today.  If those round me actually helped out ...I would ave been done.  But I can na make anyone do anything.
Tried eating last night, really wish I had na tried that.  Bleeding since last night.
I am going to try and Phone Dr. Lim's office.  Is that it?  I mean ...no call no mail.
He did a scope and ordered a Fluoroscopy and I never hear from him again.
It has almost been a week now, I have not taken any modern medication.


----------



## 723crossroads

Call and get the results Mikwan and see what they show. I am hoping they at least provide you with some sort of answer to why you are suffering so much.
Are you still doing the natural medicines? Have you ever tried drinking aloe vera gel. Not the whole leaf, but the inner gel? You can buy organic at Walmart from company called Earthbound. It is 8.00 a big bottle and you just drink a little everyday. It is helpful in many ways. God bless and let us know results!


----------



## nativesith

I have seen it and I will try.  I did jus get a call from the Royal Alec Hospital booking me for the 27th. 
Once my son was really sick.  We were shipped to Calgary.  There it seemed like they could do nothing for him.  Then we moved em to the Royal Alec where he got better as soon as we got there.  Emergency already has me booked and I will be in the imaging dept.  After the MRI...I will go back through the ER to see a Doctor there.  At the very least...I can get my skin under control.
27th ...10 days to go.


----------



## CheerBear12

Good luck hope you get the answers/treatment you need let us know hopefully they won't refuse to treat you. Thinking of you keep us posted


----------



## nativesith

Feel pretty bad. 
 My side ache...now feels like a stab wound.  Feet feel cold.  Top of my body is like covered in rashes.  I can feel my appetite...like gone.
Taking native medicine and working on my truck makes me feel better.
Also knowing I have a daughter on the way, gives me a warm feelin inside.


----------



## CheerBear12

Tell them all of your symptoms and what's been happening over months/yrs if it helps write it all down. Hopefully they'll be able to diagnose you and treat you. Then you'll be able to get on with your life pain free. Hoping they listen to you and do the appropriate tests you need. Congrats on daughter I didn't know you knew what you's were having. Unless I missed a post again..


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## nativesith

Rash is now covering my left side...where the pain is always centered(It is literally covering it?!).  I notice more pain when I eat...so I try to take it easy. I try to manage all my health problems the best way I can.
 Over coming obstacles like flat tires.  changed so many tires.  Up n down with the jack and crosswrench.  Had to be done. Truck is slowly getting better.  I am getting better fixing and upkeeping my vehicle. 
Another downer...remember how I was saying I was losing all of my stuff.  Well ...today I had enough to get one of em back. My Ps Vita...got it out of the Pawn.  But it has a cracked screen now, a touchscreen its useless when it is cracked..  When I brought it there they check it out to make sure it worked....there was no crack.  I paid like 200 for a brick.  Owner refuses to do anything about it.  Got soo mad.  My kids love that game...now I have to send it to Sony and hope it does na cost me too much.
200 brick.
Help me Sony!


----------



## 723crossroads

Hope Sony gives you a break and fixes it cheap. When is your little girl due? That is worth being so happy about!:heart::heart::heart:Wonderful news!
Hope your rash gets better very soon!


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## nativesith

Rash?  is kinda getting better.  Idk if it is really....left arm seems a lil better.
I have a friend in Edmonton, he is a genius.  But he says the screen alone will cost 150. He can have it done in a hour, whereas sony will take weeks.  
Then my laptop....keyboard jus went, which is why I have na been here for a couple days.  
Thinkin of a new business venture...since I need more money.
My daughter? Will be sometime round October/November.  My children are the world to me.  I will never let them down.  I want to fix their vita.  I need to buy a Moss bag for my daughter before she arrives.  My wife wants me to give the name...I am thinkin Elizabeth Stormchild (born in my time of storms) ...I always liked the name Elizabeth.  But again...it seems like we are forced to give a English name. Cree names are jus one word.  English she will have three?!
She is my Stormchild sent to me by the creator, she reminds me of who I am and why I am here.


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## 723crossroads

Sounds wonderful. This life was not always meant to be easy or we would never grow to be what the Creator wants us to be.  Suffering makes us weak and He is strong! So he gets the control, not us! I am so happy for your stormchild! Strong name! It is ok to name her whatever you want. Everyone else in this country does. Even celebrities. So feel free to! May God bless you and keep you and may you be well soon!


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## crohnsbegone

Keep the faith and dig deep!


----------



## CheerBear12

I love the name  keep strong and keep us updated how you doing got anymore appointments?


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## nativesith

I have dug soo deep since I brought my truck back to life.
Did the ignition coil,catalitic converter, front brakes, tires all round, air filter, oil filter, oil change,Spark plug wires,wiring(radio+speakers),rear view mirror,door handles and window handles and front sway bar bracket.  The bracket I did yesterday and that was hard.  Had to pound it right off the frame of the truck.  But it is done, and now it rides like it should.  No more banging sound when I roll over a lil bump.
Think I may ave hurt myself er worked too hard.  I woke up feeling like the left front of my stomach was gonna explode(Can still feel it). Had to push pull and drag my truck.
MRI on saturday, and I am going to see a doctor there after the MRI.
I know Creator will make it happen .


----------



## CheerBear12

Good luck for Saturday let us know how you get on. Shocked that they doing it on a Saturday like. Glad you've fixed your truck but be careful and take it easy


----------



## nativesith

Woke up feeling really raw on my left side.Today is the DAY.  I know my truck,ol faithful will make the trip there and back.
MRI and then I will go back through the ER to see a doctor in Royal Alec.
My brother went to a Pow Wow, and his dog had pups.  So I am babysitting the mother with eight lil puppies.  They are soo cute. I have their older brothers and sister outside.
One of them will be mine, the tan male...think I will name him Royal Alec lol.
Two of em ended up with funny looking tails, like pigs tails lol.  They curl right up, think the cord wrapped round their tails. We call one Mrs. Piggy and the other is Babe, he is gonna be a Pig in the city today.


----------



## 723crossroads

Let us know when you know. Puppies sound so cute!:hug:


----------



## upsetmom

Good Luck!!!

Thinking or you l hope you finally get some answers.:ghug:


----------



## nativesith

I made it, the MRI.  That  was kinda hard on me.  Think I was blacking out(losing consciousness) and freaking out a lil bit. It is like I went to sleep for a minute and woke up wondering where I was. I wanted to scream and go running out. But I toughed it out.  Did na want to trip to be for nothing.
Can na believe I had a hard time lying down in that loud tube for 10 minutes.
 But it was soo packed in the ER, I didn't get to see a doctor afterwards.  I waited for a few hours before I wanted to go home.  I have a appt on monday,but the results will na be in for at least a week.  
I was soo proud of my truck yesterday.  The feeling was indescribable.  The feeling of knowing that I brought my truck back to life and she runs like a dream.  My ol faithful...love dat truck. Drove by K days, and we stopped for a cool drink(Non alcoholic of course) downtown. Then my friend Jay called and said my ps3 was done!  The children are soo happy to play their custom ps3.
Spendin a few hours with the pups before my brother gets back from campin. Damn... I am gonna miss em...I am na gonna cry lol.
It was a good weekend.


----------



## 723crossroads

I'm so happy you finally got your MRI. Now lets pray it shows something.
Sorry you have to part with the pups. At least you can keep one! Glad the kiddies got their PS3 back. They just love those games, don't they? Betcha Daddy does too!


----------



## nativesith

I do love the games...But I realized something.  Doing what I do is A LOT of work.
Applying updates, spoofers,changing settings, modding games, data transfers...etc.
Keeping myself busy is easier...and when I am busy.   I do na dwell on pain and negative thoughts.  No matter how I feel...I am always on the bright side.
Miss the puppies...they grew soo much in there time ere. That too was a lot of work...but that was another job I loved doing.
Doctors appt in a couple hours.


----------



## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> I do love the games...But I realized something.  Doing what I do is A LOT of work.
> Applying updates, spoofers,changing settings, modding games, data transfers...etc.
> Keeping myself busy is easier...and when I am busy.   I do na dwell on pain and negative thoughts.  No matter how I feel...I am always on the bright side.
> Miss the puppies...they grew soo much in there time ere. That too was a lot of work...but that was another job I loved doing.
> Doctors appt in a couple hours.


Keep us posted Mikwan!


----------



## harbinger

Mikwan

Have you tried ensure or boost? It does not contain any milk or milk products so it shouldn't bother you lactose wise. The stuff is the bomb. I know when my Crohn's acts up it helps to keep your strength up without adding to bowl issues. The biggest thing I've figured out is that YOU are responsible for your own health. Don't be content with leaving things in their hands. You might get sick of telling everyone your history over and over again but stay persistent. Our system is messed up right now and access to a physician is very difficult. I think your referral to a GI Specialist is definitely a step in the right direction. There use to be a very good one in Sylvan Lake but I cant recall his name. They are extremely hard to get into see with very long booking wait times. You will find a good doctor just stick with it.

Alberta has more then its fair share of rednecks I can feel your pain there. Having grown up in a small town (non Caucasian) its something I use to see a lot of (racism) I think most people know its not something that is tolerated but we all know it still exists. 

I've lived with Crohn's for as long as I can remember but wasn't diagnosed until much later in my life. I hope you find some help soon, it can be very unpleasant at times. As a coder I know you have a high tolerant for pain and suffering


----------



## happy

Hello harbinger,
Welcome to the forum. I just wanted to clarify that as far as I am aware Boost and Ensure both contain Whey Protein which is a milk product, so they are not dairy or milk-free. Some of them are lactose-free or low lactose, which means that they do not contain a particular milk sugar. But they still contain the dairy/milk protein, casein, which many people still react to.


----------



## Hope345

What did the doctors say today?


----------



## nativesith

Yesterday...still trying to wrap my head round it all.
I sat there waiting for my doctor.  I could hear him talking to this lady.  He was completely nice to her even going as far as giving her his number if any problems arose.
Then he arrived in the room I was patiently waiting in.  He listened while I gave him and showed him my symptoms.  Then he said something that shocked and  surprised me.
I do not know what the FUCK is wrong with you.  We did every test imaginable.  I do not know where to go from here.  He went on about Dr Lim and all the tests saying I was too young to be feeling like this...I interrupted him.  How the hell do think I feel?  I am the one who has to deal with this EVERYDAY.
I told em look I know this is frustrating.  But please do not get mad at me.  I feel like all doctors get mad at me when they can not figure out my problem.  I show them their limitations...and they hate me for it.
Damn it. Why do na I get a phone number?
I did set up and internal specialist appt(Dr. O), and I changed my blood pressure medication with the strongest ointment ever made.
Trying not to let this get me down...it is hard. I hate doctors!
Boost/Ensure I did like em...but I have to give that up too.  I was beginning to like the dairy products.  I do na know what to eat anymore.  Everything is being taken off my table.


----------



## 723crossroads

So sorry Wikman! Seems like everyone is having tough times with their Dr.s. I hope you can find someone who can help you now. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.:hug:


----------



## nativesith

Really did na expect any thing like dat...IDK.  But the neurologist office phoned and said he needs to see me on Aug 13.   Think he found something.


----------



## SylvieA

Hi Mikwan, been reading your thread. Sorry you're going through so much, hope you get an answer, living in pain and discomfort isn't the way. Good luck and hugs!


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## upsetmom

nativesith said:


> Really did na expect any thing like dat...IDK.  But the neurologist office phoned and said he needs to see me on Aug 13.   Think he found something.


Sometimes they just like to go over the results in person....l hope that's the case..:ghug:


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## 723crossroads

Just sending my support and thoughts your way and really hope they did find something so you at least have some answers as to why you are feeling so horrble! May God be with you.:hug:


----------



## nativesith

For days I ave been trying to empty my stomach with laxative...finally got fed up and jus had a milkshake.  EVERYTHING came out.  But another dilemma.  Do I ingest milk and scratch myself.  Or do I use it as a laxative?  Seems like the ointment is working...I can feel it burn the sores.  But they are almost gone. Think I am allergic to dairy.
Seems like the reserves are going crazy.  Couple weeks ago one of my cousins went out(Something he never did in ten years)...he was stabbed and he died.  Last night...my uncle and his sons were stopped by the Rcmp.  Trying to understand why they killed my cousin.  Shot em... WHY! They shot and killed(3 shots in the chest?!)my youngest cousin in front of his father.
I really can not understand why...they could na ave shot em in the arms or legs?  If he was white...he would still be alive.  Now we must fear for our lives when getting pulled over by the Rcmp?


----------



## 723crossroads

Hi Mikwan,
 I am so sorry for what is happening there with the shootings etc... We live in dangerous times and you have to beware of the police now too. They have gotten a lot more aggressive than they used to be. I was thinking about your rash and now I wonder if maybe you have Shingles???Have you been looked at for that? I would avoid the dairy if it causes you these problems. You don't want to make your inflammation worse inside. Take Miralax if you need a laxative. It works great. God bless and sorry for your loss again!


----------



## CheerBear12

Hi glad you got your appt ok and hopefully they'll find out the cause soon. Keep us posted I sorry to hear about the shootings and your cousin I know feeling just found two people died a school friend took her own life by hanging herself  still shocked and can't believe it and my dad's auntie Jean died last month but only found out today so pretty annoyed we never got told. Apparently someone told one the lads to pass message on to us but they never did. Thinking of you big hugs


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## nativesith

Rcmp killed my cousin and shot and wounded his oldest brother too.  Thank Creator he is in stable condition.  Over a routine traffic stop?!
I know a excellent Lawyer who specializes in native criminal cases, especially ones like this.
My family will get justice with his help.


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## 723crossroads

Please let me know what happens.


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## nativesith

My stomach is hurtin...but today I feel a different pain. My family and I do na know how to deal with this.
http://www.edmontonsun.com/2013/08/...cer-shoot-two-men-kill-one-near-ma-me-o-beach

Would ve been different if he was killed by someone else or he died of natural causes.  He died for being Native.  My uncle taught me to fear RCMP...if we saw em we were told to RUN the other way. That is what all native males are taught right from when they can walk. That is why^^^^.  I wish we lived in a fairy tale word...but we do na.  I hate it   Yesterday...I had to go into town for a few things we needed.  When I got to the hiway I broke down.  I thought of my cousin and the blood on the road.  RCMP ere to serve n protect....WHO?  Wadda joke.  Must bury my cousin in three days(Buried 3 other family members in the past month?!  When will it END!)....wake starts today.  In a community that is tore up....who will police our police?  This is the Wild West...I know that now.  Gotta get a gun.:yfrown:


----------



## 723crossroads

Yes, not a bad idea Mikwam! You have a right to defend yourself. You are guilty of anything other than that! Too bad the Gov't is buying all the ammo.
Gee, I wonder why?


----------



## mccindy

buying and carrying a gun will only give a cop who confronts you a reason to shoot you.  OR get you put away for killing a cop.  The government is not buying all the ammo, US citizens are doing that and hoarding it and trying to sell it on the internet for more money.  And Mikwam lives in Canada, not the U.S.  Canada already has gun control laws in place.


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## nativesith

Past few days were the hardest days of my life.  I went to the wake for two nights.
No one in my family recognized me.  I had to tell em who I was, and they all do not use my english name.  They all know me as Mikwan some even shorten it...like a grunt lol. Our nicknames sound soo gutteral.lol. Everyone freaked out and demanded to know what had happened.  I had to retell my story again and again...reliving it all over n over. Now my stomach feels like I have a stab wound.  It is unbearable when I cough or some pressure is put on it.  But it will na get the best of me.
I am still kickin lol.
 Then hearin the story for myself.
I understand some people's stand against guns...but if you are na native.   Then you have no idea what THIS is like.  I have been threatened and I seen em beat my family in front of my eyes even as a child....all for nothing. All of my family that night on the road were UNARMED...that cop could na use his taser...or at the very least fire a warning shot?
My gun is really na for killing people...it is for providing for my HUGE family, Elders and keepin my rights alive...and the rights of my sons.  No one can tell us how we can live.  We will hunt like my father, grandfather, and great grandfathers did.
I want to become like one with my gun...and work my way up to a Bow.
Last night of the wake is tonight...followed by the funeral on Friday.
I am having a hard time letting dis go...letting my cousin go.
Still can na believe what happened to him.  My cousin Lance...he was jus like my lil brother. Damn it!
I did get a deer on the way back...my hunting has begun.


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## 723crossroads

So sorry for your huge loss Mikwan and I am praying for you too!:hug:


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## nativesith

Buried my 30 year old cousin Lance on Friday.  That was the hardest death in my family that we have dealt with.  No one knows how to deal with a loss that was brought on by those that are suppose to serve and protect us.  Really seems backwards.  Being on Alberta hiways everyday...honestly scares me and my family.
During that whole time my stomach was BAD.  I could barely eat and it felt like a throbbing stab wound.  Now I am well rested and feeling better.  I can still feel pain...but it does na feel like a stabbing pain anymore.
Told my whole family I am sick...but it will NEVER get the best of me.
Hai hai.
Mikwan.


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## 723crossroads

God bless you and your family and may you heal quickly from this sad loss!:ghug::Karl:


----------



## upsetmom

:ghug:..I'm so sorry for your loss.


----------



## nativesith

I became soo angry since that time...angry at the world...at rcmp and now at my brother.  My real family informed me of what he has been doing .  Badmouthing me...trying to make it seem like he is a computer tech.  He is doing nothing but working against me.  How could he do that?!  Then he comes here and acts all two faced with me.  I told em how hard all of this year has been on me.  Basically telling my family I am a drug addict. Creator help me na to hate my brother...I wanna do bad things to em.  
Ever since that incident my eyes have opened...and I hate what I am seeing.
WHY!  How the hell could he do that to me!  I never treated him like that.  I only wanted the best for him. Fighting a war within myself everyday and now this. Can na let the negativity win. Seems like my worst enemy is my brother.


----------



## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> I became soo angry since that time...angry at the world...at rcmp and now at my brother.  My real family informed me of what he has been doing .  Badmouthing me...trying to make it seem like he is a computer tech.  He is doing nothing but working against me.  How could he do that?!  Then he comes here and acts all two faced with me.  I told em how hard all of this year has been on me.  Basically telling my family I am a drug addict. Creator help me na to hate my brother...I wanna do bad things to em.
> Ever since that incident my eyes have opened...and I hate what I am seeing.
> WHY!  How the hell could he do that to me!  I never treated him like that.  I only wanted the best for him. Fighting a war within myself everyday and now this. Can na let the negativity win. Seems like my worst enemy is my brother.


People will always let you down~ creator never will. Cling to Him right now and ask Him to take away your anger and pain in His time. :hug:So sorry you are suffering so!


----------



## nativesith

Learned long ago...I can na control others.
My brother was always a disappointment. I can na let em bring me down anymore.
I ave a appt tomorrow with the neurologist. I am going to concentrate on that.
After weeks of pinchin pennies, grinding rivots, and twisting wrenches...my truck is almost complete.  That makes me happy.  Soo much rust damage on the driver side that my uncle and I jus finished repairing.  Feel soo sore...but I also feel proud of a job well done. Jus a few minor things now.
I can make it safely to Edmonton tomorrow. Creator has granted me what I needed...hai hai.


----------



## 723crossroads

That's right, don't lose your joy! Keep thinking postive thoughts and trust your Creator and He will see you through. Let me know how the Dr.s goes tomorrow.


----------



## upsetmom

Good luck with the neurologist.


----------



## CheerBear12

Good luck with neurologist let us know plz


----------



## nativesith

Limped my way in to that medical centre to be told what I ear too often.  Nothing was found.  He talked about my back saying he could na see any problems.  I thought at that very moment...dear lord my back is killing me.  He did notice my limp and how my skin looked. He said the body reacts badly when one loses weight in a short amount of time.  I replied I was well aware of that, but why did I lose that weight.  What is happening to me?  Told em how the pain felt with it worsening when I cough. In the end it was all the same.  A major letdown...
I ave become too used to this...I expect it.  I did drop by Dr. Warner's office where I ave a appt tomorrow. 
Also seen two rear end collision happen by my truck.  Glass and metal flew round. Even spilling some in my truck box.  Scared me...seen two fords die on the hiway...a mustang(A Pony died!) and a explorer.  Seems like my F150 is blessed by the Creator.
Doctors...I am na better because of any doctor.  I am better by the choices I made with help from you all. I feel a stabbing like pain...constantly...but it will na keep me down.  I am going to tell Warner that my job hunt begins...and I need her help getting through it.  Really need something for the pain and something to help me sleep.  when I say stab wound I mean STAB WOUND.  When I lie down it is hard getting comfortable...used to like sleeping on my side.  Now I have to fight myself from doing that.  
I seen a couple of friends from my ol college...they could na recognize me and when they did they could na believe THIS is still going on unanswered.


----------



## upsetmom

I'm sorry you didn't get any answers.

I can't remember have you had a pill camera done ?


----------



## nativesith

No ...and I jus remember asking Warner to do that.  Thanks for reminding me.  I even remember something about a scope to tie up hemorrhoids.  Also I feel like the stabbing pain could be inflammation...has to be.


----------



## upsetmom

Make sure you ask to do the dummy pill camera first as l've read about a few people who have had the real camera stuck.


----------



## nativesith

Thanks, I will most definitely do that tomorrow.


----------



## CheerBear12

Sorry you never got the answers you need  seems like they all the same and good luck for tomoz keep us posted. They need to do something before something bad happens. Can't believe how long you have suffered yet they can't find anything wrong. It's a joke can't believe how these people got they jobs. They not doctors!!!


----------



## nativesith

Really wish any doctor I meet could do something.  They are all afraid of me...since they can na help me.  They avoid me, ridicule me, judge me...
I was half way to Edmonton when I received a call from the doctors office canceling my appt.  This make four times she has done his to me.
I felt relief since I was on the way...then I was crushed. IDK what to do anymore...I am doing my part. Almost out of all my medication.  I do na want to go to the ER! Jus pawned my tools for nothing. They will torture me there.  I am soo alone is dis...there is no way out.  None that I can see.  Wish this pain would go away.
Have to be strong now ...more than EVER.


----------



## 723crossroads

I really wished I had some solid answers for you Mikwan! I can't imagine how you must feel right now. But please know we all care about you and want the best outcome for you. Try to keep moving on and forward and keep trying to get help. Maybe somewhere else now? Try another clinic a little further away?
You just can't give up now. We all support you!:ghug:


----------



## CheerBear12

Can't you travel further afield now your truck is fixed might get better treatment there. Thinking of you here for you


----------



## nativesith

I feel Bad.  I feel like I am losing a battle for my life .... makes me feel like I have nothing to lose.  I do na care about any doctor.  They do not want to see me...I feel the same.  Sick of them making me sicker...that is all they did.  Adalat XL, Diovan,Naproxen, Diary Products, Ibuprofen...it made me feel worse.  
Power of the human mind is wondrous...I have become soo strong. I am able to take Mind racking pain day to day. 
But how long can I do that for?  I eat very lil now like a bird...it is na because I do na want to. Western medicine has failed me...they gave up on ME.  I am going to a Chinese Herbalist next.  I know that will produce positive results.
This is what happened to my uncle and every other Indian that has a stomach issue.  We beg n cry for help...only to be told...THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW...DEAL WITH IT INDIAN. I can na change to world...wish I could.
Fixing a laptop I almost made enough to get my tools back.  I need those...truck is running great.  At the very least I can count on her.
Love my ol ford with EVERYTHING I got.  Wish I could buy the tires I seen yesterday.


----------



## 723crossroads

I really hope the chinese meds work for you. Anyone there have access to cannabis oil? Made from cannabis?? It is very powerful and takes pain away and has been know to cure crohns. Please look it up online
dixiebotanicals.com/products/...il-supplement/


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## nativesith

I will try that.  IDK what it is now...maybe taking all the native medicine is really working.
But I feel almost NORMAL today. Used the bathroom and that went normal.  Even my limp has settled down.  I try na to ingest any dairy but..it is hard.  Especially when that seems to be the only thing that empty s my stomach.
Feels weird feeling like dis...been soo long.  I do na want this feeling to stop.


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## 723crossroads

Thank the Lord!!!


----------



## CheerBear12

Hope it continues for you


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## nativesith

Thank the Creator!  I wake up with a slight pain in my back....but my stomach seems to be all right.  My appetite is BACK!  As long as I stay away from dairy and gluten I seem to be doing better.  When I put pressure on my stomach...then I feel it.
But I feel better than I did in a long time.


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## upsetmom

That's good to hear!!!!

I hope you continue to feel better.


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## CheerBear12

Great news  keep taking the native medicine will it cure you tho?! Sorry probs a silly question but I don't know anything about it


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## 723crossroads

WONDERFUL NEWS!!!!! I thank God!:Karl:


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## nativesith

I know now it was all these Blood pressure medications.  Ever since I was Dxed with HBP ...all medications made me feel like crap.  Now I think I am working em out of my system.
I would wake and take that bloody thing and it all went downhill from there.  I been through soo many medications for my blood pressure,,,this is like the 6th one?!
They gave me constipation/diarrhea,Pain in stomach,Swollen joints,Hot/cold feelings,rashes,decreased appetite,malaze,etc.
How could any doctor give medication like that and na realize what it did to me?
I could ve died in January...that is when it became REALLY bad.
This took me outta the game for YEARS. I had to figure it out?!
I thought the doctors were helping me....turns out since 2004(When I was diagnosed with High Blood Pressure)I have been getting poisoned because of it.
I remember saying MANY times"I do na wanna take these...they make me feel like crap" Then a doctor would always say..."You will die if you do not take these everyday."
Feel soo angry and mistreated.  Not just for like a few months...but a lifetime of this kind of treatment.  They treat me like I am a monster.
I do na trust ANY doctor...and I know I never will again.
Bloody quacks...almost killed me.


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## 723crossroads

Mikwan, you must be allergic to them because I am on 2 different ones and they don't bother me. If I don't take them my B/P is too high and that can cause a stroke. Please keep an eye on yours and try taking some natural alternatives for high blood pressure like Garlique and there are others supposed to help. Blood pressure too high can cause many problems. Please take care of yourself. There are other meds too for B/P. Maybe try a different kind??  I'm just concerned about you not taking anything! Hugs ! T


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## maria

Do you take probiotics? when you take all the meds it kills all the good bacteria and you need that probiotic. I just figured this problem to be mine. Just a thought. Also want to say sorry about your cuz. My bro a t the age of 15 got beat by cops he had to have staples on his head they thought he was a grown man cuz he's tall the reason is my brother ran. He's half indian. My mom always thought this was the reason.


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## 723crossroads

maria said:


> Do you take probiotics? when you take all the meds it kills all the good bacteria and you need that probiotic. I just figured this problem to be mine. Just a thought. Also want to say sorry about your cuz. My bro a t the age of 15 got beat by cops he had to have staples on his head they thought he was a grown man cuz he's tall the reason is my brother ran. He's half indian. My mom always thought this was the reason.


His meds were mostly for Blood pressure not antibiotics.


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## nativesith

IDK what happened everything was goin good til last night I had some chicken Mashed potatoes.  My uncle convinced my Ma to go out and pick some berries one last time.  They came home with a lot of saskatoons and crab apples.  I had a apple...then it got bad again...pressure n pain.  Woke up needing to use the bathroom, URGENTLY.  I woke me up at 5oo am...could na go back to sleep.
I was on Dairy products with Proboitics before...before I found out I am allergic to dairy.
I did harvest and consume my garden a few days ago...that was my breakfast for a while.  I would wake up go in my front yard(Where one could smell the sweetgrass growing all round me)and I would eat like a big ol bear.
Cops n Indians...jus as bad in Bc as in Alberta...I know all aboot that.
I love the land(especially in Bc)...idk aboot the people lol.
I love you all, thanks for being ere for me...can na thank you all enough.  Brings a tear to my eye.
I know I will get through this. But I honestly feel like the BP is Poison...I feel like my body is cleaning itself out.  I feel better now I do not take Diovan,norvasc, crestor,Adalat XL...there was more I can na remember.  Felt every side effect of the meds.
Every doctor would give em to me and then be bewildered as to what is happening to me...can they na put two n two together? Look at the pill they jus prescribed and then look at my symptoms...all the side effects?!  Did the job of a doctor for too long now.


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## CheerBear12

Keep on fighting we are here for you your stronger than you think can't you get your blood pressure tablets changed? Keep an eye on it and hope you feel better soon. Continue with the native medicine as well


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## nativesith

I want to...but it is like everything is making it worse.  Now I remember I had taken some of the laxative yesterday.  It worked...but now I feel pretty bad.  Stomach is empty...feel the pain in my left again.Throbbin/stabbing...Why is all my meds doing this to me.
Ran out of painkillers...Warner canceled..she will na be in til next month.
Really have to stay strong now.  That was the last words I heard from the doctor...take the BP meds and the laxatives.  They are really starting to scare me. Feeling hot with cold feet.Pain in side .


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## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> IDK what happened everything was goin good til last night I had some chicken Mashed potatoes.  My uncle convinced my Ma to go out and pick some berries one last time.  They came home with a lot of saskatoons and crab apples.  I had a apple...then it got bad again...pressure n pain.  Woke up needing to use the bathroom, URGENTLY.  I woke me up at 5oo am...could na go back to sleep.
> I was on Dairy products with Proboitics before...before I found out I am allergic to dairy.
> I did harvest and consume my garden a few days ago...that was my breakfast for a while.  I would wake up go in my front yard(Where one could smell the sweetgrass growing all round me)and I would eat like a big ol bear.
> Cops n Indians...jus as bad in Bc as in Alberta...I know all aboot that.
> I love the land(especially in Bc)...idk aboot the people lol.
> I love you all, thanks for being ere for me...can na thank you all enough.  Brings a tear to my eye.
> I know I will get through this. But I honestly feel like the BP is Poison...I feel like my body is cleaning itself out.  I feel better now I do not take Diovan,norvasc, crestor,Adalat XL...there was more I can na remember.  Felt every side effect of the meds.
> Every doctor would give em to me and then be bewildered as to what is happening to me...can they na put two n two together? Look at the pill they jus prescribed and then look at my symptoms...all the side effects?!  Did the job of a doctor for too long now.


Apples are bad for you with crohns. Especially if they aren't peeled. But crab apples are the worst. thjey gave me diarrhea all the time when I was a kid. You really have to watch not eating fruit till you are in remission. I can eat watermellon and cantalope. But other than that, just bananas too.Be very careful not to eat anything spicy and red sauce from tomatoes. they can really cause some problems too. Maybe you should try the SCD diet and see if it works for you. Just Google it and it tells you what you can and cannot eat.


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## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> I want to...but it is like everything is making it worse.  Now I remember I had taken some of the laxative yesterday.  It worked...but now I feel pretty bad.  Stomach is empty...feel the pain in my left again.Throbbin/stabbing...Why is all my meds doing this to me.
> Ran out of painkillers...Warner canceled..she will na be in til next month.
> Really have to stay strong now.  That was the last words I heard from the doctor...take the BP meds and the laxatives.  They are really starting to scare me. Feeling hot with cold feet.Pain in side .


I wonder too if taking an antidepressant would help you with your pain. It did me immensely. I am on Citraprolam and it is very inexpensive and has me feeling better in many ways. i know you don't like modern medicine, but give it a shot and see how much better you might feel. Don't read the side affects. Wait and see if you notice any.


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## CheerBear12

Stay strong sending hugs and positive vibes your way. If only you could get an appointment sooner next month is ages away when your not well  sorry I can't help any more but if this next appt doesn't go how you want or you don't get treated I would seriously go further a field for treatment coz you've suffered long enough and it won't get better on its own. Big hugs to you. Yeah try antidepressants see whether they help


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## nativesith

How do you like dem apples?
That hurt soo much...I can still feel it.  It messed me up all day.
IDK aboot antidepressants?  I feel like more pills adds fuel to the fire.  I really look up side effects now.  Seems like my body is really sensitive now.  To hot/cold, to food. My whole life I have felt to sensitive...like I could cry at any moment even now.


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## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> How do you like dem apples?
> That hurt soo much...I can still feel it.  It messed me up all day.
> IDK aboot antidepressants?  I feel like more pills adds fuel to the fire.  I really look up side effects now.  Seems like my body is really sensitive now.  To hot/cold, to food. My whole life I have felt to sensitive...like I could cry at any moment even now.


Then believe me, antidepressants would help. That is how I always was too!
Side affects even if one in a million people have one, they have to list it. Even though it most likely will not affect you! Seriously, don't read them till you see how they affect you. Unless of course you break out in hives or something like that!!!


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## nativesith

I will try to ask for em...but I do na know how long it will be before I go in...my ma n uncle were trying to make me go in earlier.  But I told em today is usually my busiest day for computers/laptops. My ma is worried aboot me....my uncle said I am the strongest man in our family.
Ma even seen my brother while she went to town yesterday.  She asked em why he would say all those things aboot me.  He could na say anything but listen.  She told em I am sick...yet I still do EVERYTHING for this family.  I take care of my family, my sisters family and my Ma.  My brother can na even care for his own daughter, he even kept that from us til she was 5 years old.
My ma told em I loved him always...and he does that to me.
She told em to stop his badmouthing and to stop making me do free work for him.
Gotta try to make money today ...so many bills overdue.  Collection agency is on me.
Love my Ma...she went to the reserve doctor.  Many there remembered and asked how I was doing.  She told em I was better...but na because of any doctor.  She told everyone their that the high blood pressure made it all worse.  They poisoned me...lost over 100lbs...still is happening.  IDK how to stop the loss.   When I eat more it gets all worse. But now...I feel since I changed the meds that I can deal with it better. But EVERYONE was shocked and mad...friends and strangers. Now everyone round ere will do their homework before taking what is prescribed.


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## 723crossroads

I wish you nothing but the best Wikmna but I donot see how Blood pressure meds can make you lose weight. I don't know anyone that has happened to. Crohns can make you lose weight, it can make you very sick and in pain and get rashes. I think you may be blaming the wrong thing for youer symptoms. I take many meds and they don't do anything bad to me.


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## AuntieEm

Have they reassessed your BP meds since the weight loss?  It's very possible you don't need them anymore.  Do you have an automatic cuff at home you can use or a pharmacy locally that takes it for free.  Monitor and log it yourself at the same time several times a day for 2 weeks and see what the results are.

My cousin lost 1/2 of herself literally during cancer treatment and one thing they never bothered to reevaluate was her BP meds.  She started having all sorts of problems and on one of many trips to the ER from passing out I asked her about it in front of the ER doctor.  She ended up totally off of them.


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## nativesith

I know something very serious and life threatening has and is happening to me.  January was really bad,pain was almost that bad the past few days.  I know now that certain medications make it worse.  Fact is the doctors are all clueless as to what it happening to me.  They do I I lost a lot of weight real fast(skin hangs in some areas and there is stretch marks).  They know I have HBP(Which I still have that requires medication) and arterius.  Bad hemmeriods, colon polyp..etc. I feel like something is seriously wrong...this is na normal.  
But I am strong...it will na take me er stop me from doing what I have to.
Next? Internal specialist Dr Ave.  Sept 10th.I prey she finds what is holding me back.
I thank and luv you all my friends.


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## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> I know something very serious and life threatening has and is happening to me.  January was really bad,pain was almost that bad the past few days.  I know now that certain medications make it worse.  Fact is the doctors are all clueless as to what it happening to me.  They do I I lost a lot of weight real fast(skin hangs in some areas and there is stretch marks).  They know I have HBP(Which I still have that requires medication) and arterius.  Bad hemmeriods, colon polyp..etc. I feel like something is seriously wrong...this is na normal.
> But I am strong...it will na take me er stop me from doing what I have to.
> Next? Internal specialist Dr Ave.  Sept 10th.I prey she finds what is holding me back.
> I thank and luv you all my friends.


Crohn's can make you lose alot of weight and very fast Mikwan. Have you read all the stories on here about people losing so much weight?Crohn's can cause terrible pain as well and arthritis. Please try not to worry as this can make it much worse, Stress is a killer. I'm so glad you are seeing someone new finally. Try keeping a diary of everything that happens to you everyday and then give it to the Dr. when you go so she can see your symptoms. Hoping for a great miracle!


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## nativesith

I lost many things in my life...more than jus weight. I do na know how to deal with much of dis.I try to live a somewhat normal life. Most of my days are hard...like today.  Seems like n matter what I eat it causes pain.  I find myself scared of food and it effects on me.
Weight thing...getting to me.  Everyone is soo nice now.  It is like society treats me better.
I get stared at every time I leave to house....guess I look good.  But those same people treated me the exact opposite when I was even a lil bit overweight.
It makes it all harder when even I have to look twice at myself in the mirror....hardly recognize myself anymore.  I am the opposite of my self I was last year.
I will take a pic later. See ya my friends .


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## Hope345

yes, send an updated picture.   It is nice to put a face to your words.     You are still a mystery to those doctors....


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## 723crossroads

Yes. That is a great idea. A journal of your sufferings too would help.


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## nativesith

I am starting a REAL journal....
I was going to take the pic...when I noticed my laptop was in a bad state.  Here I fix Pc's/Laptops...I was ignoring my own while doing others for weeks.  Jus trying my cam made it overheat.  So I must do my own today.
Woke up feeling bad ...nauseous.  I puked up mostly spit with a bit of blood ...kinda freaked me out.  Took a pantoparozle and I am feeling better.
Pic later...


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## 723crossroads

nativesith said:


> I am starting a REAL journal....
> I was going to take the pic...when I noticed my laptop was in a bad state.  Here I fix Pc's/Laptops...I was ignoring my own while doing others for weeks.  Jus trying my cam made it overheat.  So I must do my own today.
> Woke up feeling bad ...nauseous.  I puked up mostly spit with a bit of blood ...kinda freaked me out.  Took a pantoparozle and I am feeling better.
> Pic later...


May you feel better soon Mikwan! I Look forward to the picture! If you could make it your avatar on here!!!


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## nativesith

Felt good the past couple days, jus upset stomach when ever I try to eat.
Wake up feelin kicked in the ribs.  I also notice I become sore way too easy.  Fixing computers , I get sore.  Typing...I get sore.  No matter what I do with my hands...I get sore.  
Moving round...I get sore....wish that would stop.  Does na take very much to make me tired and sore.j Marijuana is helping...I have been using it more with the advice of my UncleGary(Who is also feelin a lil better).
Felt good til I seen blood in the bathroom first thing.  Maybe pushing myself too hard...but it is almost school time...and my kids need more.  I did buy em new Walmart shoes, which made me feel proud and sad(Sad I could na do more).  They are sweet nikimos(kids) that do na ask for much, they appreciate what they have.
Computers still actin up,,,overheats when I try to take a pic(Maybe a sign?).  It is soo embarrassing to have no soo good Pc's/laptops when I am a Comp tech.  Every time I fix someone's computer...it is always way better than any I have.  Need to update...but my bills.
I always feel anxious...like I will na see another day.  Like my sub conscious is telling me to live my life NOW, like it is my last.
I want to go see my Uncle Larry....to get pictures of his family (My couisn who was shot).  I want to do Something for em....maybe a Huge picture....as a gift to him and his family(With a pic of me and mine).
Love you all, my internet fam .


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## 723crossroads

That sounds like a very fine gift Mikwan.
I am sorry again for what you are going through and have to endure everyday.
It is a great gift and sacrifice to buy your children new shoes. I remember how hard it was for my parents trying to buy us clothes and shoes for school when we were young. We were so excited to get anything new!:dance: So many children today are so spoiled and have no appreciation for anything. Your children are learning the gift of appreciation by not getting too much. It is so sweet you care so much about them and their feelings. I'm certain they love you very much.:kiss:
We all should live everyday as if it were our last, it could be. We don't know. Everyday is a gift!:hug:


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## CheerBear12

I'm so glad you are seeing someone new soon she hopefully will be able to tell you what is wrong with you. Fingers crossed and plz let us know we are all here for you and are worried. Ulcerative colitis can also make you lose weight in such a short space amount of time. They are the same symptoms as crohn's apart from crohn's is anywhere from mouth to anus and colitis affects only large bowel. I lost 2 stone in a matter of months went down to 5 stone from my normal weight of 7 stone. Good luck make sure you write everything down what has been happening to you over the yrs/months. It will help her with your diagnosis. I pray that you find out sooner rather than later before serious things happen to you


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## nativesith

Trying to put a bit of weight on ...IDK how it is going.   Felt as I usually do in the morning ...sore.  Tried to use the bathroom and seen blood.  Felt bloated and like i need to go all day.  No laxtive works like dairy...had to.  I have a bit of a rash on my ribs now...but the bloated feelin has settled.  Always need something to counter act something or rather.
Need to make a bit more for my kids.


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## 723crossroads

Aren't you avoiding dairy now? Really try to and get some Lactade and take it first if you have to have some. It's supposed to counteract the affects of dairy if you are allergic. Hope you feel well enough to eat. Try some rice in chickem broth, maybe boiled chicken. Hope you have a great appointment!


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## Hope345

thinking of you buddy.


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## CheerBear12

723crossroads why does your picture say banned?? Let us know how it goes plz thinking of you nativesith


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## nativesith

What is going on?
Myself?  
yesterday was a really bad day, it was one of my worst. Made me cry for a couple hours. I had to go into town and that is when the pain started....bad.  I found myself in public trying na to cry.  Kept sayin keep it together...do na cry!  to myself.  When I got back home ...no one was there.  I became scared.
People came by to pick up/pay me for Pc stuff while I tried to keep it all together. When Cher got home she wanted to call the ambulance, but I would na let her.
Feel  better than I did yesterday, but dear creator....that was scary.
Pain in worse now ...in the front of my stomach.  Seen blood yesterday n the day before.  I did have a movement yesterday n the day before.
It is like everyday I get up n poison myself with blood pressure pills.  I have no choice, I want to stop takin em.  I want this all to stop, so I can live a half ass normal life.  Got a job offer...but now I do na know if I can do it.  I prey it all goes well...my family needs it...I need it.  I still have the same clothes as when I weighed 100 - 150 lbs heavier.  My clothes are way too baggy...look like a rapper lol.
I am determined to take a pic today, however that may take a lil bit.  A process of using a actual camera(Remember those ah the good ol days)then transfer that to usb/laptop/upload,yadda yadda. 
Later my friends.


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## bjaycat1985

You know I completely understand what that type of discrimination does to a person. It makes you feel like you are wrong as a human on some deep level. It makes you vulnerable and completely reliant on a person to be decent and compassionate and do the right thing. When you are already sick, to fight it is too much sometimes. I was a chronic psychiatric patient in the late eighties and early nineties. Once the new SSRI medication came out, I no longer needed hospitalization and built a life for myself. My arms are deeply scarred however and when medical professionals see them, many will treat me in a punishing way and they do not treat me seriously. I can tell the instant they look at me if they are going to he like that. I'm hoping my doctor can get me booked for surgery so that I don't have to go through the ER. I believe I will die in there if I have to go because treatment will he denied. I went by ambulance for sepsis, but didn't know it. They said it was a panic attack and didn't even bother with blood tests. It's pretty shifty. Just want you to know I understand how deeply that affects a person. I'm so sorry you are going through this with certain awful awful "people".


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## nativesith

It is a  bad situation...I feel like I do na wanna go there.  To a hospital...
IDK...feel really bad today.  Pain is bad, worse than yesterday. I barely slept...lot of blood...black movements.
I think I am going to have to go in.


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## upsetmom

:ghug: ...Yep l think its time to go to the hospital. Good luck.


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## CheerBear12

Oh god sounds bad good luck and let us know plz thinking of you


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## nativesith

I did na go in ...
Had soo much work to do.  Instead...I let my hair down.  I thought might as well have a beer and see how that makes me feel.  I had a few and got past the pain, I could still feel it.  But it helped kill it.Stopped bleeding.
Like pourin whiskey on a wound...it does help.
IDK how to feel about it all.  Seems like I need something to help me through days like dis.  I can na do this everyday...I know.  But it has been so long since I did this.  My health was the reason I stopped drinking like 10 years ago.
Made the irritability settle,which I am sure made my family is happy.
Going to see a doctor at the reserve health centre tomorrow, when it is open.


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## Hope345

Maybe you could call the doctor that prescribed those heart meds and tell him what is going on.  They have lots of different kinds of heart medications to find the one that works for you.  If it is making you bleed and hurt so bad, you need something else!!!     I personally I think one to two beers a day is good... no more than that though .  

hope it gets better soon.


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## nativesith

Stopped the BP meds...
The Beer helped...it helped the pain.  I stopped bleeding soon after.
Feel way better now.
But the BP...I have tried soo many,  Trying a new one...really does na sound too fun to me.
I will see what happens with the internal specialist on the 10th and hopefully see a doctor soon after.


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## CheerBear12

Glad your feeling better and hope the BP meds work wonders for you. Keep us posted how the 10th goes


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## upsetmom

I hope you find a BP tablet that works.

I know how frustrating that can be, my husband had tried so many tablets before they found one that worked for him. 

Good luck:hug:


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## nativesith

There was a great storm a few days ago...hail were golf ball sized.  I was sittin in my truck when it began...first one sounded like a baseball hitting my truck.  It sounded bad so I stopped and looked round the truck.  Then the downpour came...it destroyed alot of windshields...mine was ok. Did put a lot of lil dents in it. It killed nearly all the plants round my house....all the native medicine is drying up.  It got beat right down to the ground.  I have been trying to salvage what I can. I know that helped more than any med I have tried. Couple days til my app...do na really expect too much outta that.
We will see how it goes.  Pain is kinda manageable now.


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## CheerBear12

Good luck hope it goes well let us know how you get on.


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## Hope345

so glad they got you off of that BP med.    OMG!!!!!!!    
Wow, I have heard about hail that big but never have seen it...   must have been quite a site.   sorry it destroyed your plants.     

take care my friend.


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## nativesith

Gettin ready for my appt today...Dr Al a internal specialist who is really a cancer specialist...kinda freakin me out. The name of the doc...I was told it was Av...now I find out it is Al.  I know I asked the person who informed me of this appt to spell the name out(Knew it sounded weird). Why would they tell me the wrong name?
Cancer...thinkin it could be my lung...my left.  Makes sense?  IDK...it feels like it is one the bottom of my left lung.  When I wake up it always feels bad...I notice I wheeze more.  During the day my breathing is controlled..but at night I guess I go hard(Wife says I snore like crazy such much she gets worried and it keeps her up). My stomach...it is like it gets effected by it some days(Some more than others).
Yesterday I felt good, almost normal...that is gone today...I feel bad.


----------



## upsetmom

How did your appointment go?


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## CheerBear12

How did it go?


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## nativesith

I am still trying to wrap my head round it all...but Dr. Au( It was Au na Av er Al lol soo much confusion).
I did make it and I explained to her how I felt.  I went over the whole ordeal once again.
She pulled up ALL the ol test results.  I told her how doctors told me I had a heart attack...she looked at the ECGs and said that was na true?!
I was told by three different doctors that I suffered a heart attack last year in May.
She did say something was definitely up with my stomach. No test proved it but the one when I was deficient in B12. I was anemic from losing too much blood from the hemorrhoids.  I became constipated with diarrhea. My stomach is inflamed...and the acid had na let it heal.  I must take a proton inhibitor EVERY day for three months...and the pain should go away.  That with another procedure to correct the hemorrhoids once again. She also ordered blood work and a stress test.
All of that...and she checked my blood pressure and it was normal...I did na even take any BP meds for over a week now.
I have a appt with Warner tommorrow.  I want to ask for a B12 injection and a colonoscopy(Can na believe I am sayin dat) to check my stomach and do the hemmeriods.  This time I feel I have more knowledge and experience to make it work out this time. Last time the hemmoriods were done I was in bad shape and constipated...that is why they opened up again.  It will be with a different surgeon this time, as I have no faith at all in the last one.
We will see how it goes tomorrow.


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## CheerBear12

Good luck for tomoz let me know you get on. Thinking of you


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## Hope345

Wow, this doctor sounds like she is on the right track for you...    so good to hear!!!


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## Drake69

Hi i'm on here for a very close friend who is shy and has Crohns. I'm doing everything i can to be there for her and help i'm hoping being on here will help. She was diagnosed with Crohns last year was taking Imuran. She was in the hospital and almost died from weight loss and loss of appetite. Her hair loss started with the Imuran. She was on it for bout 5 months then onto Humira for the last 8 months. She's stopped because she's desperate to stop losing her hair. Her lashes and eyebrows as well. She is now taking Mezavant hoping the hair loss will eventually slow down and possibly stop. Even growimg back eventually. I hope no one minds that i'm on here for her she's a sweet girl and i need to do what i can to make her smile again. Can anyone help me help her?? Has anyone else experienced these symptoms???


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## CheerBear12

How did your appointment go native? Thinking of you drake and hope hair loss stops soon. It's awful as if we don't go through enough. But hair loss makes our confidence even lower nothing like knocking us when we are down. I had the same for about 5 months in 2011-2012. I was really really sick so not sure what caused it. I've had another op and its been fine.


----------



## Drake69

Thanx.  She's really worried that the hair loss is never gonna stop.


----------



## CheerBear12

I was too thought I was going to have to get it chopped short you could see bald spots it's upsetting but it does get better believe me. Mine fell out from nov 2011 to may 2012 its still not back to normal thickness but its much better than what it was. Is she able to see her doctor or a hair specialist? I was on pred and that probs didn't help me either


----------



## nativesith

It was a pretty wild past few days...When I went to the specialist My BP was normal...went to Warner and it was normal.  I have na taken any BP meds for- over a week.  I HAVE NORMAL BP NOW?!
Also I started being a bit naughty...I ask myself what I would normally do...and then I do the opposite...and it has made me feel great.  May be living like a outlaw has made my blood rush n feel good.
Was all good til last night , when I seen blood, think I strained too hard. Then pain started radiating to my left hip...So that pain was the riods the whole time?!
Understanding this better.  Dr Al said I was too low on b12 at a point, now Dr Warner says it is Iron.  Did a blood test yesterday.  Feel kinda bad today...make me wanna be BAD( like the late MJ lol,Who Bad?).Sorry I have na been on too much, but my Laptop is officially dead, jus gotta say the last rites and bury her. She was a organ donor so I will save what I can.
Hair?  Wish I could help ya there, but myself?  I had suffered bald spots on my head through out my life. I NEVER had any type of treatment.
One Thing I know that works strengthening hair...
Make some tea, drink a bit and save some.  Comb your hair, but when you do dip the comb in the tea.  That will strengthen it. Native way?  Take the hair that fell out, roll it in a ball.  Find like a swamp or marsh type of Area.  Bury it with a bit of tobacco on the top, say a prayer to who you pray to and wait.


----------



## Drake69

Hi everyone.  Been away for a few days i work long hours.  Sorry.  How have each of you been doing??   I see some people have tried Biotin.  Is there a recommended daily dose for that??  My friend has been in good spirits lately...her bday is Tuesday! Hope all is well with each of you...


----------



## CheerBear12

Sorry not been on ages smashed my phone(accidently)  so couldn't use it  was lost without it but it's sorted now. Great news Native glad your blood pressure ok hang in there we here for you. Just keep us posted you got any more appointments? Drake glad your friend is in better spirits has her hair stopped falling out yet??? Hope so


----------



## nativesith

Feelin a bit better . I still get pain ,past two days were kinda bad. Dogs in the neighborhood making sleepin a problem. A female dog was hanging round my 3 boy dogs. She was barkin at everything making the others go crazy. So I went to drop er off down the road. Thought it would solve the dog problem ,but no.My sister has a female that is attracting all in the neighborhood . 
I said to my sister I want to get rid of that dog.   But she does na want to.  Normally I would na have a problem with that .  However I am the one taking care of HER dog.
I can na care for pups in the upcomin winter .  Did that last one and I do na want to again. I am ill and this is how I am done . But stray dogs are really becoming a problem .  If EVERYONE took proper care of their pets there  would be no problems. Seems like I am the only one that cares.
Everyone round here is like my sister .  All have dogs they barely take care of.


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## Drake69

Thats some crazy stuff bout the dogs!  And people really do need to take care of their pets in a much better manner in regards to their neighbors and noise levels.   And no her hair hasn't stopped falling out but she's now taking more Biotin to see if that helps.  Cheerbear that sucks bout the phone!  They can be expensive nowadays.  So much reliance on them in today's society.  I'm jus as bad!  Using it now!!  My friend is taking 5 Biotin a day now instead of 1 cause of a post i seen elsewhere on here.  Hope thats alright for her!!!


----------



## nativesith

I love my pets and it pains me a great deal to see others not care for theirs.
 I did make it to my stress test today.  Went all right , I guess.
They hooked me up to the heart monitor and noticed my skin, which lead to me telling my story.  Everyone there was AMAZED. They could na believe I lost soo much weight.  They could not believe my BP is normal after being high for like 4 years.
Treadmill was hard on my bones like my hips, knees and ankles. But my heart performed as it should.
I am jus glad I had a good night rest and felt better today then I did the past few.
This will na beat me. I am getting better.  Gotta stay positive.
It is my son Elvis's birthday today...he is 8.  I made enough for a cake and a few things.  He will be happy...which make me happy today.


----------



## Catherine

Happy Birthday Elvis.


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## CheerBear12

Happy birthday Elvis


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## upsetmom

:bdayparty:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELVIS


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## nativesith

It was great time .  
Now? Think I found a great job. Best part?  The foreman is one of my uncles who knows what I am goin through. He will na push me too hard. Hopefully startin monday .  I prey it all works out,prey I can push past the pain .  My family needs this.


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## Drake69

Keep the faith and believe you can.  And happy bday ELVIS!


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## upsetmom

Good luck!


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## Catherine

Hope the job go well.


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## CheerBear12

Hope it goes well


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## nativesith

Still waiting on the job...but honestly I am glad they did na call me this week.
It was bad...top of it all I had the lactose tolerance yesterday.  That made me feel soo bad...
All the symptoms became worse...Pain(in stomach and joints), itchy,fatigue,nausea,no appetite...even made my vision blurry for a while.
Hospital jus called and informed me that I am severely allergic to dairy products. Now they want me to visit a dietitian.
Now...I am feelin a bit better.  Better than yesterday...but no more dairy....damn.


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## Drake69

You a dairy person??   I guess there's still lactose free milk.    And other ways to get calcium.    Sorry to hear bout you not feeling well with the joint pains, etc, its good your feeling better.    A dietician can help a lot its amazing these days with all the knowledge and science of what the body needs and when and why.   Can really help physically an mentally.   Best of luck to ya!!


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## Catherine

Sorry that you need to give up dairy.

Remember Ensure also contains dairy.

Hopefully you feel better without dairy and with improve health won't miss diary as much.

Thinking of you.


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## CarolinAlaska

If it is an allergy, Lactose-free contains dairy.  I'd stay away from all milk products and see if you can get better!


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## nativesith

So many poisons went through me...all ordered by doctors. I have clung to my life...fightin this whole time.  More tests coming...I fear that I am allergic to soy,eggs,etcetera .  Why me and why now? EVERY thing I eat seems to cause pain .  I have to take something for pain jus to eat.  My iron n b12...calcium...how am I supposed to live like this?


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## CheerBear12

Sorry to hear all of this


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## Drake69

Its hard when you ask questions inside your head like that.  Why me?  Why now?  What did i do to deserve this?   My friend asked all the same ones and its so hard to hear and try to know what to say.  To be a comforting voice for her.   I remind her everyday that no matter what she will always be the most beautiful person to me.  To have hope and faith that things are going to get better even though they might be at the worst now.  And if she loses hope and faith even for jus a min or a day or a week then i say i'll cling to to hope and faith for her.  I won't let her lose those.   One day when the struggles are no more near as hard as the yesterdays you'll find you've become so strong inside.   With a determination and strength of will that others around you will envy and look up to.   My friend now looks in the mirror everyday instead of covering it with a towel.  She smiles more.   She's realizing jys how strong of a person she really can be and is.    So hang in there!!  Don't give up.


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## mccindy

Try to remember that you are not alone.  Many of us ask those same questions.  I cannot eat gluten, dairy, fresh fruit or most fresh vegetables, not much beef either.  It sucks to be so restricted by diet, but after I asked, why me?  I found out about my brain tumor.  So remember, there are others asking those same questions.  Keep fighting the good fight and do what you can to find the positives in your daily life, like your kids and your job and such.


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## nativesith

when  Elvis was born,doctors informed us he was allergic to dairy,wheat,eggs,soy,seeds/nuts.  I remember crying with my wife,while he scratched til he bled. I preyed to Creator, take me...but save my son.  I can take it,better than my child. He was my baby the past decade,and I will never let have this.  He is normal now,eats everything ,he laughs n plays all day long.  My son Eli is turnin 12 on the 18th,he is way bigger n heavier than me?! Emily is my oldest 15,makes me wanna buy a shotgun  lol. She acts jus like me,eats how I eat.
Its hard...livin like this. That list of allergies . Last night..I tried some meat with a bit of ketchup ...big mistake.  Lookin at the label it says may contain wheat soy milk n nuts!? That is what messed me up bad yesterday.  Appt on the 20th...I will be back.


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## nativesith

Had the date of my appt all messed up, it is today the 21st.  Feel a it better.  Glad about that.
Feel stupid more than anything.  Many in my community believe I am one  of the brightest people.  Most do na know how hard i was for me to achieve what I did(As little as I did).  I struggled eating and keeping up with others.  Seems like everyone else had no cares in the world.  In n out of the hospital with no real answers til now. Allergies....severe allergies?! Read all the food labels, an I learned never to trust em.
Get hungry and now the question is what do I eat?  How much will this special diet cost me? Been through too much in such a short time...I can na believe I made it through all this.
Warner today, dietitian later this week.
Visited both Warner and the dietician. Learned what I eat everyday is too little. I honestly can na believe all the food one is supposed to eat everyday. Thinkin about it...I have never ate like that.


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## nativesith

feel soo bad today, past two were really rough.  Doctor and dietician wanted me t try lactate with some dairy.  I told em both dairy is poison.  But they had to know...feels like some sick experiment.
Jus spent half my morning in a hot bath, and I want to go back in.  Appetite is gone,tried banana only to have more pain.  
Feet feel cold,nose running,sneezing,stomach pain above all. Felt this bad for a year now ...idk know if I can do another like this. Dietician really scared me, I have never ate what one is supposed to. Never had what I needed to perform well. I have always been a malnourished native son. Slept for two hours last night so, I am gonna try an rest.
Skin test to see all of me allergies next, an another colonoscopy(so bloody sick of those)to check stomach and take care of the severe internal  hemeriods.
While I was lying own I became very nauseous...I threw up the banana with some bile.  Pain hit harder after that...that was  a 8 on a scale of 1 to 10.
I started sweating.  I could not stand, I was even lying on the floor next to the toilet. I ingested a handful of painkillers... Jus so I could function.
 What is going on?
I suspect I am having a allergic reaction to the suppository I jus tried the past couple days.  Could be 
Scared the living hell outta me...have na ate since.
The pain came from my stomach...left side and front left. It became unbearable. It was worse when I tried using the toilet an when I was wretching.  it was like all of it cramped up into one lil ball of pain.
Really scared me.


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## Hope345

could it have been the milk products caused this?   I would not think a suppository would.  Did you call that dietician?   Make sure you let them know what happened right away.   I am sorry you had to go through all of that.   I sure hope it helps them see what part of the problem may be.....    what was the point of it?       

keep us updated.    take care


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## nativesith

Both the doctor and dietician wanted me to try more food.  They both also wanted to test me.  They wanted me to try lactate...so we could find out if it was a lactose allergy or a complete milk allergy.  The way I feel now I am sure of a total milk allergy.  I tried the lactate with a bit of yogert....but that was days ago.  I feel soo confused and worn out.  Tried eating a bit of fruit...but it caused pain straight away.  Even swallowing my spit hurt for a while.  I was on the verge of dialing 911. My uncle found me on the bathroom floor.   God I wish this would stop.
The reason why I suspect it is the suppository...is because soon after taking it I had a hard time breathing...like it hurt to take in a full breath.  I made myself take shallow breaths.  That is a side effect of protomicin.


Today hurt more than most of the pain I have felt this year.  It was worse than the test they did at the hospital....this was BAD.  I prey I do na become like that again.


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## Hope345

No more Protomicin for YOU!!!    Make sure you put that on your allergy list.     I wonder if it is the milk protein, or sometimes you can have small amounts of dairy products and it doesnt effect  you because it is in smaller doses.      Are they having you keep a food journal?


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## Kris84

Hey, ive read your story and really recognize alot of the things you've said from my own disease. I've had crohns for some years now, and I've never been in remission, always had the pain. Nothing really works for me, tried all the meds(currently on remicade). But ive been lucky with good doctors at least, who have helped me out alot. Ive had pretty much side-effects of all 
the meds, same way it sounds like you have. 

I wanted to share a few things that have helped me out a bit, with pain and side-effects etc. So it can hopefully help you and others feel a lil better, even if it's not much. 

Like one thing i read that you've been on is iron pills, you really should NOT be taking those, they are really bad for someone who has stomach problems, and really blocks up your bowels. Try talking to your doctor about getting iron intravenous instead. I always had low iron, cause of bleeding, but now i get iron maybe a couple times a year, and it really helps on energy.

Also i read you have problems with your skin, rashes etc. Because of remicade, that im taking for crohns, ive developed alot of skin issues, i get rashes everywhere and developed a skin disorder called psoriasis. I've been at a dermatologist for this. And he prescribed a cream for it, it helps with ANYTHING. It's really amazing, called Betnovat Chinoform cream. You combine it with a normal cold creme, and it really works wonders. Like one rash i had on my cheek, that had been there for weeks, disappeared after 2 days using it.

And there's a thing you could try, for back problems. Really easy thing to do. You can use a blanket, or a tennis ball for this. If you use a ball, cut the ball in two, and while sitting or laying down, have each ball facing with the point toward your back on each side of your spine. You can also use a blanket or whatever to get the same effect. Cheap and easy way to get rid of some of the pain.

I dont remember what types of things you said you tried for constipation, but if you havnt tried Laxoberal, you really should. Never had any problems with it. And you can use it to maintain your constipation. If you dont take alot, and not that often, it only makes things softer, instead of diarhea. 

Sorry for the wall of text. I just wanted to help, cause it sounds like you have so much going on that isnt good, so maybe a few things can help improve how you feel.  I really hope they figure out exactly what is wrong with you, the stress of not knowing is the worst, and only makes you feel worse. 
(And sorry if my English isnt 100%, im from europe.)


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## nativesith

Thank you my friends....  You guys...gettin emotional.
Umm.  I will try your advice, iron shots and food journal.  Did start the journal.

Really wish...my life was some kind of normal.  But then...when I think about that...did I EVER experience normal.  My life was a rollercoaster constantly going up n down na knowin what was going on.  I try to make life....idk...na all about me.  Like I will always try to ignore the pain or the way I am feelin for the sake of those round me.  Like today,  I awoke several times during the night.  Stomach cramping and with water diarhia coming out.  My stomach area seems on fire, my body is hot in jus that area.  I am congested...running nose. 
But today...today my baby is coming out into this world.  I can na miss this...I missed soo many of my children's births.  Most of the time I do na feel very well.  Love my kids so much.  It is amazing I can still produce em.  
Wife went n late last night...I could na leave my other children and I felt like poo.  Seeing all the lights go round n round made  me dizzy.  There were red and white as well as the dreaded red n blue oohh scary'.
I can not make THIS day about me...no matter how I feel.
Help me Creator!


----------



## upsetmom

Good luck with the birth of your child:goodluck:


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## CheerBear12

Good luck hope it all goes well


----------



## nativesith

My daughter was born at 142 pm weighing jus over 6 lbs...she is soo cute.  I spent hours staring into her eyes while holding her.  I made it jus in the nick of time...minutes before she came out.  Seeing all that made me light headed an dizzy.  But it was soo worth it...my lil baby girl.
We were going to give the first name of Elizabeth....but one of my wife's family had a girl...and guess what they named her.  So we had to come up with another first name for her...Her mother chose Elisha...Elisha Stormchild ...right when she  was born a Snow storm(It is still happening)!  
I will have pics by monday...she comes home that day...her Mom was bleeding pretty bad so they want to monitor all weekend.  My family ...makes me wanna be a better man.


----------



## upsetmom




----------



## Allison

Wow, I've been following your story for months now but don't think I've ever posted a comment to you -- but I just had to say congratulations on the birth of little Elisha Stormchild!!  What a pretty name!  I know she is a beautiful baby and would love to see a picture if you can post one.

:hug:


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## Hope345

So happy for you... a little girl 
also hoping your feel better soon my friend.
Let us know how your wife is doing.
and if you can, send pictures of your new little Elisha Stormchild.. beautiful name:Karl:


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## CheerBear12

So pleased for you love the name congratulations!


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## nativesith

Thank you all..my friends.  The storm in honor of my girl is still going on?! Two feet of snow fell.  Roads are really bad making it quite the journey to the hospital.  
Had a rough night with pain on my left side.  Woke up and let my dogs loose...they love the snow.  I watched em jump, roll and play.
I must make it to see my wife and lil girl. I will na let the storm hold me back.  Luckily my sister jus bought brand new winter tires for the truck...so I know we will be all right.


----------



## Trysha

Congratulations to you and your wife on the birth of your little girl., Seth.
Take care in that snowstorm---safe journey.
Feel better soon.
Hugs and best wishes 
Trysha


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## CheerBear12

Take care in that snow storm get better soon. Hope your lil girl and wife are ok?


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## nativesith

Omg...today.  Woke up in pain...na only that...but Elvis woke up coughing.  So I made em stay home with me.  I wanted to take em to see a doctor...but last night the fan and heater stopped working in my truck.  Had to have it repaired today...I mean I can na pick up my wife n baby in a ICE box.  It came up to almost four hundred dollars and took all day. Elvis n I did na make it to the hospital til aboot 6pm.  When we got there we visited his sister and his mother said she would take em the ER.  I spent aboot two hours lookin after my baby girl til I went down to see what was going on.  The nursery is heaven...ER is hell.  Staff stared at me like I was a criminal....they ignored me for the longest time.  When they did speak to me it was demeaning.  They talked down to me like I was stupid.  I wondered...what did I do?!  Why am I being treated like this?  
Finally got in there an found out Elvis has pneumonia...and had to be admitted.  We were both crushed...I thought...I am forced to leave my son with people like this?  I cried...Elvis cried. I tried to lie to him and myself and say it was na that bad.  But it was...I hate myself for lying to my son.
His Ma said she would stay with him an our baby.
My babies...around monsters like that.   She asked me to go get her a few things...probably since she knew what was happening to me.
Why?!  Because I have long hair n braids?!  wth...so unfair!
When I got back they continued their racism all the way through...it was a gauntlet of racism.  I feel soo angry and confused.  They made me feel like it was my fault my son is sick.
Really ruined a day I was trying to get some happiness out of.

I pushed myself aside for my family...I do na remember eating.
My children are EVERYTHING to me.  In a world like this?!


----------



## ronroush7

Congratulations.  Be safe.

 2


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## CheerBear12

Hope your son is ok thinking of you all


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## nativesith

This is my lil baby girl...Elisha Stormchld .


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## ronroush7

How sweet.

 2


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## upsetmom

Shes's beautiful


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## Allison

What a beautiful little baby Elisha is!  Thank you for the picture.  I know you are proud!!

I am so sorry about Elvis having pneumonia, and about the ER.  That was a couple of days ago though; how is he feeling now?  I hope he is better and that everyone is home.  

Saying a prayer right now for you and your family.


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## Hope345

she is soooooo beautiful...... thank you do much for sharing.   keep us updated on elvis and love to all....


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## CheerBear12

She's beautiful congratulations


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## nativesith

Elvis recovered really fast,maybe because we,his family rarely left his side.  I was there alot...and his grand ma(kokom) was there when I was na.  My Ma did na feel so good...doc checked her.  She has pneumonia too?! I know it is my house...it is soo cheap.  There are many cold drafts round the doors and windows of my house.  Elvis rarely goes outside,since he his a small one and prone to gettin sick easily.  Wonder if that has something to o with the way I feel.
Yesterday was really bad...I could barely move.  Pain seemed to move to the front part of my stomach(round the bellybutton).  I woke up in pain...and it got worse as the day continued. I refused to take any painkillers, thinking I could do this. I went to he toilet soo many times...I bled. I soo wanted that day to end.  Thought to myself wish I could sleep this off. If I could knock myself out, I would ve ...yesterday.  I know many would say go to the ER...but the way they treated me last time(And many times before that)makes me never want to go there again.
I prey today is ....idk....better than yesterday.  
I could barely sleep...and the baby was up.  So I checked on her....changed her diaper and spent some time with her...she made me feel a lil better.


----------



## CheerBear12

Hope you all feel better soon can't believe you still haven't got any answers after so many years


----------



## nativesith

I still believe I have crohns...it comes and goes...with varying levels of pain.
When I get like this it lasts for weeks...then I get a lil better.  Enough so I could eat.
However, when I am in this amount of pain...I can barley eat.  It seems like no matter what I try to ingest will make it worse.  I did na have any milk products...I can na understand it.  I can na understand any of this.  Makes me feel soo powerless over my life and it's direction.
The past ... three nights. I have been getting pain in the top left of the stomach...it almost feels like the bottom of my lung.  But it does na seem to be related to my breathing.  First night it was slight...now it has built up.  What next?


----------



## nativesith

Yesterday...I really did na feel too well. But I had to go to the band office, adding a new member to the family n all.  I sat in this chair...that felt like it was leaning forward.  My hip has been bugging me ever since...pain has been building an building.  My limp has become severe.  
I soo wanted to go back to work...but is that possible.  Everyone else at the band office seems to think I can na handle it.  Now even sitting in chairs is giving me problems...I am starting to agree with them.  I can na work...I can barely function.  Even doing a few things seems like concurring a mountain.  Who am I kidding?  Workers at the office want a updated medical release from my doctor...I am going to have to agree with em and do that.
Appt next week...I do na feel soo good.


----------



## mccindy

I think you need to find a new positive outlook.  While you are going through a lot of difficulty, you do have some great new positives in your life.  A new baby, your other son recovering from his illness.  You are still here to enjoy your family.  It can be difficult to suffer through any chronic illness, but there are good and bad ways to live with illness.  You can get out of bed and choose to have a good day, even if you have pain and are having trouble eating.  Most of of us here have the same struggles, and wish that you were having more success with diagnosis and medication.  A lot of how you feel and how you cope and are able to appreciate and enjoy your life is really on your own shoulders.  When you are feeling miserable, look into the face of your new child and use the love and joy you feel to boost yourself up.


----------



## nativesith

My babies make me feel better. Doctor did give me anti depressants and they do help.I still continue to work out of my home on computers...jus got a job last night.  But my hip...omg...it is now worse than yesterday. It is my right hip ...wish it would stop now. 3 days now. I feel like draggin my leg when I walk. I am trying to have a positive outlook...but this is getting in my way.  Sitting in a chair...I can na believe it. I have to do soo many motions throughout my day that require the use of my legs an this makes it  all soo much harder. Wish lookin at my kids would take or make this feel better. My other children have a day off of school,hearing them laugh and play makes me smile.  My wife has been spotting for  LONG TIME now she went t see the doctor....it is jus the baby...my other three kids(Emily,Eli n Elvis) n I at home today.  I am caring for my baby. Put on some a535...kinda feels better.
I prey Cheryl is all right,love her soo much.  Going through all of this, I have seen her be soo strong...makes me love her  even MORE.
I am wondering if how I feel is related to me carryin my lil one every day.
Feels like the pain is centered in my back now...round my kidney area.  It does na feel that bad in the morning ...but it gets WORSE throughout the day.  I also read that it could be from a inflamed colon.  Jus wish all these stomach issues would stop...so tired of pain. 
Tried a heating pad...seemed to make it worse...guess I gotta try cold.
This is what I am going through....
    Severe abdominal pain
    Diarrhea, sometimes bloody
    weight loss
    Lack of appetite
    Rectal bleeding
    Joint pain
    Skin problems(Rash on my stomach and hips)
    Slight re occurring Fever

I am losing weight again...I can feel it.  My wife noticed my weight and the rash.
I was soo pre occupied with pain that I did na realize I had it.  My appetite...t is like...I literally have to build myself up jus to eat.  I feel better when I dont eat.
In soo much pain now...it is hard.


----------



## nativesith

Omg ....I love Dr.Werner.  She jus prescribed me Salofalk. Even without a diagnosis.  She listened to me ...I talked about my rash, joint pain, fever, sever abdominal pain, and weight loss(lost ten pounds since I visited her last).  She said...This is Crohns...I am jus gonna give you a crohns medication and we will see how that works...since you are in agony.  She said it is soo frustrating watching me get smaller n smaller with no diagnosis.
I hugged her...I did na wanna let go. She also prescribed a STRONG painkiller that must be approved by Ottawa, which will take a week.
She also ordered a xray of my hip n lower back.  Going back next week for results of xray and to receive the painkillers.
I feel like she saved my life.


----------



## mccindy

I'm glad to hear you've found a good doc! Now make sure you are extra careful with your eating, stay away from dairy and those foods you know are causing you pain.  Give that medicine some time to work and you'll be feeling better in no time!


----------



## Allison

nativesith said:


> Omg ....I love Dr.Werner.  She jus prescribed me Salofalk. Even without a diagnosis.  She listened to me ...I talked about my rash, joint pain, fever, sever abdominal pain, and weight loss(lost ten pounds since I visited her last).  She said...This is Crohns...I am jus gonna give you a crohns medication and we will see how that works...since you are in agony.  She said it is soo frustrating watching me get smaller n smaller with no diagnosis.
> I hugged her...I did na wanna let go. She also prescribed a STRONG painkiller that must be approved by Ottawa, which will take a week.
> She also ordered a xray of my hip n lower back.  Going back next week for results of xray and to receive the painkillers.
> I feel like she saved my life.


This is good news!  Praying that you will improve and feel better soon.


----------



## CheerBear12

This is fab news not that you have got crohn's but good news that you have finally got a diagnosis after all these yrs. hoping you start to feel a lot better when you are on the medication. Keep us posted on how you get on. Big hugs


----------



## nativesith

Thanks guys...could na have gotten through this with out ya.
Did  feel great til this morning...woke up with bad cramps in my stomach...my hip hurts bad again....running nose.  IDK may have gotten a bit too confident...and I tried to eat too much.  But I am gettin soo skinny...I feel weak this size...and with my hip.  I live in a bad neighborhood...must protect mine at all costs...even if it takes my life.
I have to be strong now...more than ever.  
I had some fruit cocktail , berries an plain ol meat last night .   Tried kind of what my ancestors ate.  Thought it would be best for me. 
Used to the stomach pain...but my hip so na use to that. I find myself na wanting to go out at all.  I hate this limp.
But no matter how I feel....my lil Stormy(Our new nickname for Elisha) always brings a smile to my face.  She is doing great!  She is the healthiest child my wife n I had yet.


----------



## nativesith

One week since I started taking Salofalk...n I feel better.   Pain has lessened...appetite is increasing.  Jus do na wanna eat too much...n get over confident.  I see the doctor today for results of the xray(My hip feels better now?!) n to tell her how I feel.


----------



## mccindy

Sounds like you are getting better!  Just take your time and increase food intake only in small increments.  Stay on track, it sounds like you will be feeling great soon.


----------



## nativesith

I really am feeling better.  One week since I started taking Salofalk...it feels like waking up from a nightmare.  My mind was soo clouded by pain...most days I could na get past it.  I had to force myself to do many things throughout the day...like eating.
Now I feel like actually keeping active...I feel like eating.  When I do eat now...there is less pain.  
Cant believe it took this long. Doctors had told me there was nothing wrong.  I was told that men my age should be working(Really?!).  In june...that was the month I got REALLY bad.  I thought...I am going to die...SOON.  GI and two family doctors gave up on me completely(One was swearing at me).
I love Werner...she saved my life.  She said to hell with a specialist diagnosis...and gave me Crohns medication.  500mgs of Salofalk three times a day.
My hip she said is the tendons...which will need physio.
But yeah...today it was like ...Yay you have Crohns?!  Sounds messed up...lol.


----------



## CheerBear12

I'm so glad your feeling so much better I'm glad you found a doctor that knows what she's on about and listens to you. Keep us informed and I also can't believe how long it has taken


----------



## upsetmom

So good to hear that your finally feeling better. :ghug:


----------



## nativesith

Thanks ...and thank the Creator.  I feel good...n when I eat it does na feel like razor blades going down...I do na feel nauseous...even using the washroom seems normal ...er lol.
Felt soo good...I made enough money(fixing a lot of pc/laptops)to buy a Moss bag for my daughter.  It felt good to provide the traditon.  I will post pics later...she is getting soo big. 28 days old an she is almost twice the weight


----------



## nativesith

Pain in hip came back today...but I noticed it came after I wore jeans.  Wearing jeans is what is making my hips hurt. I bought  new pair..since all of my old clothes were too big.  I wore it right before the last time it hurt...it is a pain that builds n builds(it gets worse then my stomach pain) going from left to right....also notice it makes the affected area hotter and effects my mobility.
Seems like I can only wear big sweat pants now.


----------



## nativesith

Feelin better latley...but.  Havin a few issues.  Like hiccups..had em most of today.  Hurt my throat an chest.  I got rid of em...then after eating they came back.
Also getting rashes.  On my chest, face, hips and stomach.
Here is a upated pic of Elisha in her Moss bag.






I wish I could have ...at the very least...a lil flash of normal in my life.
Woke up with the sore feeling in my stomach...tried using the rest room.
Only  thing that came out resembled saliva.  Thinking aboot that...know I seen it before(other times it was pink/red saliva).  Did na eat anything I am na supposed to.  
Jus wish life would be...easier.
On top of the saliva like poo...I have the feelin of like...pills stuck in my throat and my butt feels numb(more on the right side). I got the feeling right after I got heart burn from eating potatoes of all things.
When I think aboot this...I realized...it has been happening for quite some time.  I can remember the feeling of my throat getting smaller an making it hard for me to swallow really anything.  It ruins my day most times and stops me from eating.


----------



## nativesith

Durin this time of the year...things always seemed to get bad for me.  Past three were extremely bad.  Kinda felt the same today.  Woke up feeling pain and nauseousness.  Has na gone away.  Had to do some shopping and I was like a zombie...must looked like one lol.
But I also had a appt with Werner.  She asked how I felt on Salofalk on a scale o one to ten...ten was feeling great.  I said about a five...but it was worse without it.  Now she gave me Predisone with Salofalk.
Hope it works an makes this the best holidays I had in a long time.
Merry Christmas and happy holidays EVERYONE .


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## Hope345

sending you and your family a Merry Christmas too. 
hope the new meds work well


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## ronroush7

Hope the new meds work.  Merry Christmas.


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## CheerBear12

Merry Christmas hope everyone has a fab day hope 2014 is a better year for you all x


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## nativesith

This past holiday was the best I had in a LONG time.  Prednisone has worked wonders.  Before... ANYTHING I ate did na go easy.  Looking back I can only think of SEVERE flare up.Started the meds on Christmas eve.  Each day it seems like I am getting better,eating more.  Still have a bit of pain, but it is na as bad as before.  Getting joint issues, like pain in my knees and elbow.


----------



## upsetmom

Glad to hear your feeling better.

Please keep us updated


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## nativesith

Prenisdone worked great.  Weening off of it I felt symptoms coming back. Symptoms like pain,panic attacks(episodes getting hard to breathe), bruising easily(Have a huge bruise o inner right knee I have no idea how I got it?!), Cramping in legs and feet.  
However when I was on it(especially in the beginning)it was great.  In fact, I never felt that good in a LONG time.  I remember Werner saying if it worked well she would basically keep me on Imuran.  Appt today.  
Also...I m having a hard time jus stepping out in public.  Every time I do, something happens that makes me na wanna step out again.  Few days ago I went out to get a few things and my foot cramped up really bad.  I had to take off my boot and massage my foot.  My brother thought I was crazy.


----------



## nativesith

Taking care of a newborn baby is hard work and time consuming. Find myself pushing everything aside for my daughter. She has gotten soo big....I swear she is the size of a 5 to 6 month old at 3?!She has the most beautiful smile.
I felt good for a while.  I get that low circulation feeling(Sometimes feels like burning) in my feet and legs after I have a bowel movement(Which lasts all day, the feeling na the movement).  I think that is my internal hemorrhoid pushing on something else from the strain. 
Stomach issues still arise(But I know with out the crohns meds it would be way worse).  Yesterday i woke up with pain.  Had a movement soon after.  When I tried to eat I became very nauseous with increased pain.  Makes me scared to eat now.It was a bad day yesterday..but I got through it.
I was also fighting another issue.  Facing the public and/or going out.  That is becoming harder for me to do.  I do not know why...wish I was na like that.
That is hard for me and my family to deal with.
Do have a scope coming up...wish it was sooner than it is.  Months away really.


----------



## Trysha

Thanks for the update Nativesith.
It is hard work minding a baby but also very rewarding.
Sorry to hear you are having a bad time with the crohn's---it can be like that---good days and bad days.
If symptoms increase you may need to phone your GI specialist for some advice
Feel better soon
Hugs and best wishes 
Trysha


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## nativesith

This is a bad...a really BAD day omg.  Feels like I have a wound inside...I can almost pinpoint it.  Top of my left hip.  Pain radiates round it...hurting my left leg.  Hard to walk today. 
It was a hard night, barely had any sleep. I woke up with pain and had a movement(something I work extremely hard on doing everyday).
Doctors office called reminding me about the GI in April?!  April of all times...I prey I can make it til then.  Seems soo far.


----------



## upsetmom

April does seem to far away especially when you've got problems. Is there any chance you can go on a cancellation list.

I hope you feel better soon..:ghug:


----------



## Trysha

Suggest you call your GI and let them know what is happening
Sorry it is such a bad day for and hope for better things.
Feel better soon
Hugs
Trysha


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## nativesith

That is a problem...I am going to see a new GI in Red Deer.  I do na even know his/her name yet.  All as the bad time continues...feel soo bad.  Like a alien in gonna burst out of my front bottom left stomach.  Appetite...gone.  Energy...gone. My nose is running...especially during the first half of each day. Have a slight fever and rash(over my stomach hips and chest). Bruising too easily.I am having a bm at least once a day.
This disease is messing with my head.  Like I am na good enough for anything...find it hard to go out in public.
Gonna call and make a appt with Werner tomorrow. Hope tomorrow is better.


----------



## nativesith

Pain has gone down a bit....that was hard to bare for a couple days.
I kind of go through the same situation everyday.
I awake feeling pressure on my side/sides. Wakes me up early(No matter what time I went to bed the night before)and it will na let me go back to sleep.
It is during this time of the day I MUST try have a bowel movement(Which is almost ALWAYS diarrhea).  If I do try later during the day ...I strain and bleed. The only time(during the later part of the day) I do is when I know it will come out.
Also during the morning is when I get a runny nose. This is na a virus. Everyday I feel like I must keep drinking a hot drink just to relieve it a bit. Some days that lasts until the evening.
Again in the morning...I get the feeling of low circulation in lower half of my body. Sometimes it feels like it goes from the stomach down...others it is my right or left side. Makes me move slow,limp and or stumble.
Without my medication...I know it would be way worse.  Without it I was in agony...with it I would say I am feeling less(like about 40% less).
I got a letter(Who uses mail these days lol)from the GI I visited last year. He wants to see me in May.  So I have a GI appt in April...and another(different GI) in may.
I prey to the Creator...one of em provides a CLEAR Diagnosis.


----------



## upsetmom

I'm sorry to hear your still in pain.:ghug:

Hopefully with 2 GI's one will figure out whats happening.


----------



## nativesith

Thank you my friends  Idk how I would ve got through last year without you all.
I understand it all better now.  I know it is a battle everyday. I know I MUST try to have a bowel movement at least once a day. I know even doing that I am na outta the woods. Joint pains,stomach pains, blood...are all hard to get over.
Kinda freaking out about the runny nose thing...it has been everyday for years now.  My wife noticed how much Toilet Paper and tissue we use as a family. She thinks it
is the kids being wasteful...to ashamed to tell her it is me.
Did a bit of research on running noses and pain(that can not be explained by tests).
It might be in my head...literally.  I may have a tumor in my head ....Creator help me.


----------



## nativesith

Appt today with Werner...totally forgot aboot the nose.  We talked aboot my stomach.  she figured since I gained a lil weight that I was doing better.  I informed her it was a war jus to put on 10 lbs.  No matter what I do I feel a pain jus left of my belly button...like a wound.  A wound that can feel the slightest of movements...like a bump er a shift of weight(Can feel it bad if I lean forward). I know without the Salofalk it would be like soo much more worse...least I have that.
But now I have two appts with two different GIs...one in April the other in May. I do na know what to do.  You see I am wondering if I should stop taking my Salofalk(even jus got a prescription for Prenisdone today) in the hope of receiving a actual Diagnosis.  Jus the thought of doing that scares me though. My Doctor says it might be a good idea.  Idk though.
My daughter is doing very well...bigger than EVERY baby her age(4 months).  I will post a pic of us soon .
My wife even bought me a Chihuahua to make me feel better...and it works lol.  Love that lil Taco(His name).  Think he knows I am sick...as he is always by my side.  Actually feels good when he is on my side.


----------



## Too Many Bum Steers

"This is a bad...a really BAD day omg. Feels like I have a wound inside...I can almost pinpoint it. Top of my left hip. Pain radiates round it...hurting my left leg. Hard to walk today. 
It was a hard night, barely had any sleep. I woke up with pain and had a movement(something I work extremely hard on doing everyday)."

That's a good description of me too sometimes.  Same area exactly.  I wonder what's there functionally that would give two people such a  similar issue?  Anyway, I had a laparoscopy some years ago and they found an adhesion there and cut it and it was gone for a while.  But I think they missed another one higher up, closer to the flexure near the transverse colon.  That one pains me like this if I'm not on top of the fish oil and daily aspirin.  

Just wanted to let  you know that you're not alone in this.  There are others like you and hopefully you'll soon feel better.  

Not sure if those meds will help you.  It's worth trying and seeing.  Over time, some meds have helped me, and others have not.  For me, yogurt/kefir helps more than most things except antifungals, I'll take any excuse for a dose of antifungal.  I know that works for my body.  With some experience, you will know what works for you.  

Keep researching and maybe consider a book called "Death by Food Pyramid" by Denise Minger, it really helps if you're on a journey to find your health again.  No need to buy it, it's probably in a library. (hugs)


----------



## nativesith

Having more rough days. On top of the pain yesterday I had more issues. I prepared a pizza(for my family na for me)that was smothered in garlic. The smell made me sick. I became nauseous. Soon after my left arm and leg started to feel funny...like they were about to cramp up. I thought...am I going to have a seizure? I had to lie down and rest. When I awoke I went straight to the toilet where I saw bright red blood.
Day 4 off of Salofalk....


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## Trysha

If you feel better taking the salofalk then keep taking it.
This is something to discuss with your GI who prescribed it and let them know it helps you a lot.
This point can also be helpful to your diagnosis since it is a drug used for inflammatory bowel disease..
It sounds as if you should be on medication since you find it helpful.
Feel better soon.
Hugs and best wishes
Tryhsa


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## nativesith

GI never prescribed it it was Werner.
 Today is bad omg...I want to take the salofalk and prenisdone...but Werner said it would be a good idea to stay off em til after the scopes. I do na know if I can make it that long without em. 
The end of every month is always bad...seems like it is always worse during this time. My scope was re scheduled from April 7th to the 30th. 
I am fighting it..with all I got.


----------



## Hope345

thinking of you....


----------



## nativesith

It has been a while...since taking Salofalk.  It is hard without it...hard to use the toilet. Seems like my stomach wants to stop and constipate itself. 
Cold feelings are coming back.  Past few days I ave felt really cold...especially in the lower part of my body. I want to stand on a heater all day.
Top of all dat...I have started sleepwalking alot recently.  My wife found me dazed n confused wondering round my house late at night. Happening more n more...scares the bejesus out of her.


----------



## nativesith

Omg....pain nauseousness, cold feelings,no appetite(weight loss). It is happening all over again. Eight days til my scope with the new GI and my GP asked me to try stay off the meds(Salofalk & Prenisdone).  IDK if I can do it anymore...feel way better when I am on at least one of em.
Seems like I will put put through a wringer with a GI scope on the 30th and again on May 7th. Creator make them see this...how can they not?
Creator help me get through this.


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## Hope345

Should not have to suffer, praying for you


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## Brenden

My thoughts are prayers are with you.... hope you feel better soon


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## ronroush7

Prayers will be with you.


----------



## nativesith

Thanks to you all...
Pain is at the top of this list.  Literally laid me up yesterday. I did manage to force feed my self. Moving round is hard on me now. Walk slow and with a limp.
PAIN is soo bad...hardly slept. I kept waking at slight sounds and movements.
I feel like there is a massive wound on my left side(Jus left of my ab muscles ...which I can almost see now?!) that radiates pain even down my left leg.
After aboot a month off the meds I can say ...Salofalk and Prenisdone help me feel way better.  Better than this...I could almost have a half normal life on em.
Could anyone imagine going YEARS through this without any medication?
However...I know the Creator is guiding me through this.  When my baby is happy (all the time) and she smiles...I know.


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## ronroush7

Read Isa. 41:10.  Remember that you are held in His righteous right hand.

 2


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## nativesith

Thanks for the support...I did get through that bout of pain. Two days til the scope.  Cant help but be scared.  Scared of prep...scared it will be another examination for nothing.I prey this scope...be the ONE.
Now...I feel aboot the usual.Bit of pain...cold feelings in lower part of my body.  Rash all over. Most days I struggle to have a movement...na today.  Today I can't stop using the toilet.
One thing that can be said...I am getting better at dealing with this.  Can na thank you all enough for that...and for listening to me.  Means the world to me.


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## Trysha

Hope everything goes well for you with the scoping and that a permanent solution will be found to help you.
You have been waiting far too long for proper treatment.
Feel better soon.
Prayers and best wishes
Trysha


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## upsetmom

:ghug:..I hope everything goes well.


----------



## nativesith

Tomorrow is the big appt with the new GI....can na help but be scared.  Prep....I hate soo much.  Wake up, clean out my bowels early in the morning.
Hemmeroids I know they will see...can't they cut em out?  A doctor tried putting a rubber band round it(Said it would come off and heal itself).  Only the band came off probably a day er two after the exam.
I can feel em blocking the way when I use the toilet...
At the very least I want these taken care of.


----------



## Trysha

Everything will be fine and soon you will get the help you have needed for so long.
Preps are the hardest thing for me too in fact for all of us.
We will be thinking of you tomorrow and keeping you in our prayers. 
Feel better soon.
Hugs and best wishes
Trysha


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## happy

:goodluck:Good luck with the procedure and with getting a diagnosis and treatment. You have been through an awful lot on your road to seeking good health. May the distress of the prep yield helpful results when the procedure is over. :goodluck:


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## nativesith

I jus got the prep...colyte...ew. I remember all too well how sick it made me feel the last time. 4 L of it ....must drink it all first thing in the morning.
I am soo na lookin forward to that.
I am ready.


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## nativesith

Doing the prep... I puked.  I threw up bile jus halfway through.  I could na hold it down.
Hope the rest works.


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## Allison M

Good luck today nativesith. Praying all goes well and you get some relief!


----------



## nativesith

I finished it and soon threw up again. idk what to do now.


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## happy

Call them and ask them what they want you to do.


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## nativesith

Starting to work...jus went 4 times.   Wonder if that is enough?
Update:
Well it was na a scope...but that doctor did want the prep so he could physically examine me. O my butt...lol.
But he did have a lot to say after listening to me and examining me. He  said we MUST do something about the hemorrhoids.  He said they would bleed...but they could never make one lose over a hundred pounds. He asked about the GI ...told em there is never a follow up.  The GI did see a colon polyp.  He instructed me to do this next scope on the 7th and follow up with him. He wants to do his own scope where he will take care of the hemorrhoids and see what else is the source of my pain...he said we will follow up until we figure this out.
He also asked me about my financial situation. He was mad finding out I do not get AISH(Medical-financial aid) and that I am on social assistance.
Everything he said...sounded great..weird.  I did na know how to react.  A doctor(General surgeon Dr. Hasanni)who really cares...finally.


----------



## nativesith

I may be in mad pain and nauseous...but I am soo happy.  I am happy cuz I found my new doctor, Dr.Hassani. He actually listened to me! He knows all that has happened to me is unacceptable.  It is unacceptable for a GI to do a follow up a year later.  It is unacceptable to be laid up and not working for soo long without any financial aid. It is not right for anyone to be in this amount of pain for soo long.
I still can na believe it...guess I am used to being pushed aside.
I know with his care...that I will get better.  Thanks to the Creator!


----------



## happy

So happy to hear that you are finally getting some medical support. Hopefully this will get you closer to a diagnosis so that you can stay on some treatment that helps. Good for you for persevering with the prep. Sounds like it helped him examine you. Please keep posting updates so we know how you are doing.


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## nativesith

I phoned the GI...he changed the scope to a regular visit.  I am never going back to him.  He did a scope last year, almost exactly one year ago.  This is his follow up?!
That is what Dr. Hassani said, that I have been pushed aside for too long.
One examination by Hassani and he knew that I am seriously sick.Other doctors gave up, swore, and did na believe.  How could they na believe me after seeing my skin.
One look at my skin Hassani knew I lost too much weight.  I did na try to lost it.
I am going with Hassani exclusively and I am canceling my appt with that so called GI.
It feels weird to have a doctor like this...one who does what one is supposed to. I have never had that.  Even better than Werner .


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## Trysha

Very pleased to hear that you have a caring doctor to look after you at last.
Hopefully you will soon be more comfortable physically.
Prayers and hugs
Trysha


----------



## happy

Do let Dr. Hassani's office know about the cancelled scope because he will be expecting that you will be having it and looking for the results. Then he can book one for you so you can get it done soon.


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## nativesith

Hassani instructed me to go ...if it was a scope.  But he said if na to stop seeing the GI all together.  I did call his office and I am expecting a call shortly. Might be a month er more wait for another scope...but I 'd rather it be Hassani than the GI. I am also telling Hassani to do the scope for the hemorrhoids...but do na be surprised if he does na see anything.  I am sure a pill cam is needed to see what is giving me pain.
I remember the scope last may.  The GI seemed mad...said there was nothing he could see but a colon polyp. I began crying asking what could be done next(Pill Cam?!).  He said nothing ...like he was done with me. He also seen my hemorrhoids and did nothing with them...still suffering from them this very day.  That is the kind of care that GI provides.
I did take a Salofalk yesterday...I could na take the nauseousness and pain anymore.
Should I take my Prenisdone?  I soo want to.  I felt very bad like the past week.
My best friend(online) made me a new avatar...I love it so.


----------



## happy

Hi nativesith, I know it is so hard to wait for answers right now, but it seems you are so close to some answers and some help right now. I would contact Dr. Hassani's office to see what he wants you to do while you are waiting. He may tell you to take the meds now since it will be a bit longer for a scope than you thought, or he may think that he can get you a scope soon and therefore wants you to wait. So sorry to hear that you are feeling so awful now though. 

Neato avatar.


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## nativesith

I am soo frustrated while I have been in agony for over a week. I have tried contacting the office but I get a answering machine that cuts out every time. Meanwhile I am in soo much pain and nauseousness...it is driving me crazy. 
Started the Prenisdone...cant take this anymore.


----------



## nativesith

Feel soo bad...blood, nauseousness,diahria, losing weight, no energy, no drive, hips hurt, stomach hurts all over(I was slammed to the ground).  I think this is the closest to death I have been....idk. 
For legal reasons ....I can na get into the HUGEST messed up part of my painful story.
You will all not believe what has happened to me to make this all worse(I am still in SHOCK).
Jus make sure your ere on July 15th....I feel soo bad...I prey to Creator that I make it to that day.


----------



## ronroush7

Prayers and love


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## nativesith

Made my appt with Hassani today. Nurses wanted me to take Dulolax suppository, which I did.  I have na ate in two days...suppository made me feel like hell. 
But he did agree with me...that I have been sick and undiagnosed for too long. He agreed to do the PILL CAM.  Said he would rush it.
Feel soo bad right now. Feel cold, PAIN,Diarehia,No appetite, Nauseousness,Left leg is sore, I have lost over 20 lbs since the 15th?!Idk...how much longer I can go on...But I will...I will fight this.
Appt with Warner on June 2nd.
Pill Cam next...thank the Creator.


----------



## Allison

How are you doing?  Did you have your appointment on June 2nd?

I haven't posted on your thread in awhile, but still keep up with you.  How's your baby?


----------



## nativesith

Yeah...sorry for na updating.  But I feel BAD.  Like today...my brother wanted to take me out to eat.  We did ...I battled to keep that food down.  Soo nausous...I can feel pain on both of my sides now jus below the ribs.
Dr. Warner ordered a Ct scan and listened to me.  Told her even on prenisdone and salofalk that I am in agony.  Lost over 20lbs in two weeks. 
The only medicine I had was marijuana.  I could na eat or keep anything without it.
So she agreed to start prescribing Medical Marijuana.  Thank the Creator for that and the upcoming pill cam.
My daughter is 7 months and HUGE.  She is soo healthy it is amazing to me.
She is my everything. Elisha.


----------



## ronroush7

I am sorry for all you are going through.


----------



## Allison

Awww, I am sorry to hear things are still so rough for you.  But, so thankful that you have your precious baby to brighten your life, and your older children also.  Praying for you tonight.  :hug:


----------



## nativesith

Nauseousness has gone. I am soo thankful for that...I have a appetite finally.
I also did some bloodwork for Warner. 
But I started getting a new pain along with the pain from my stomach.  It is located on my back jus below the right shoulder blade.  It feels like a very sharp pain (like a needle). It made me squirm like I had gotten a sliver er bug bite.  I did look at the area....nothing there.
I also felt a very bad pain in the top left center.  It felt really bad,which happened a night before the sharp back pain.
At least I can eat now.  Next is the Neurologist on Monday followed by a appt with Warner on July 3rd.
Thanks for listening.


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## Allison

Well I'm sorry about the new pain, BUT at least your appetite is back and no more nausea.  YAY!!  Thanks for the update!


----------



## Aruschmann84

Sorry to hear you still havnt found answers. I've had Crohns 17 years and I'm in misery too. My last 4 scopes they havnt found anything but I have severe fistulizing  Crohns so I know something is going on in there. Stay strong and hang in there brother


----------



## nativesith

Woke up in pain, had a lot of floating diarrhea. Pain was worse after it all. It is upper left side of my abdomen.  It goes around to the back.  My stomach feels tender.When I lie down I can feel it more.  Sometimes it hurts on my right side of the back. Fatigued and irritable. Rashes.  It feels better when I fast for a day er two.  
I did make it to see a Neurologist.  It was like she poked me with a cattle prod. Made my hands and feet twitch.  She then stated that I have no muscular diseases and she ordered more blood tests. She even looked at the blood test I took last week and said it was all related to my stomach(The blood test).
Warner next on July 3rd,then a CT Scan.


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## Allison

Thanks for keeping us informed.  I wish you could get the CT _before_ your visit on July 3rd, so you could go over the results then.


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## nativesith

I pushed my pain aside to do a job.  I went to Sucker Creek first nations to paint a tee pee. My step dad and I did a huge Buffalo skull(15ft).  But we had to work on all fours er lying down.  My back and hips hurt soo much after 20 hrs of that.  But my family and I needed the money.
We went fishing in Slave lake where I caught two pike and a huge Walleye.  But even there my symptoms arose.  While on the dock(which was going with the waves) made both of my feet cramp up. Went to see a doctor in High Prairie(staff and the doctor were soo nice...na like here) who took a blood test which has never been taken before(Blood amylase and lipase as well as a few others).  He also ordered stool tests and gave me asacol which is helping.
Now I am looking into making painting and selling my own tee pees. Really can na wait to see Warner now with all the tests I took.:cheers:


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## nativesith

Did na eat all day til jus a lil bit ago(Meat and potatoes)...I became severely nauseous. I could na hold it down makes me feel like I am a anorexic... Did na even eat that much. Asacol helps the pain...but the nauseousness omg.


----------



## Allison

Oh.... I am so sorry!     Praying you'll feel better.


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## nativesith

Yesterday was bad ...makes me feel scared to eat today.
But I jus done a stool test ordered by Dr. El Mestiri of High Prairie.
Now Warner can look at two different blood tests,Neurologist tests, and a stool sample.
Jus tried eating a lil bit of potatoes and I became nauseous. Really do na want to eat today.
Next week the 3rd ....see ya all then my friends and well wishers.


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## Trysha

I have been getting loads of nausea===just recovering from major surgery
Have to keep to clear fluids for now.
Sorry you are feeling like this nativesith and hope you will soon feel better.
It is time your doctors found solutions for you.
Hugs and best wishes
Trysha


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## nativesith

Hoping your feeling better too Trysha.
Myself...if it na the nauseousness it is the pain. Getting pain in the upper left stomach going round the back(with hip pain today).
Top of it all....my starter on my ol ford truck jus went.  Good thing my sister bought a new one and my uncle was here(Always feel better with family around) to help me put it on. But I am Soo sore now,really can na wait til the 3rd now.


----------



## Trysha

Nativesith...so sorry you continue to suffer in this way
It is not acceptable that your diagnosis and  treatment is taking so long.
Have you asked why it is like this and what is their longtime solution for you.
You have a hard life as it is and could use a lot more help than you are receiving.
Hope things will soon change for you and you will be into diagnosis treatment and recovery soon.
Hugs and best wishes
Trysha


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## nativesith

Dr.Warner and I seem to be desperately searching for a answer. She really is the only doctor that ever listened and cared.  She tried soo hard trying to make me feel better.
She once gave herself a time limit(trying to get me able to work)a period of eight months, which failed.
Idk...many days I am soo fatigued that I have no will to fight.  Pain and nauseousness disorient me. I agree with you dont get me wrong...I jus do na want to dwell on those thoughts now. Thoughts of long term,treatment, and Dx. Now I gotta get past this day for the upcomin battle tomorrow.
I need to stay strong...we all do.
I did eat today...yeah felt good.


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## Allison

Nativesith, I am keeping you in my prayers and asking God to help you.  I hate to see anybody going through this, and you have suffered for_ such_ a long time.    :hug:


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## ronroush7

Will pray, Nativesith

 2


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## Hope345

Let us know how the next treatment/test goes this week.  

thinking of you...


----------



## nativesith

Late last night I felt pretty good, the best I felt in a while.  I had a bit to eat and went to bed a few hours after. That feeling did na last long, it never does.  I awoke very early in the morning(5am mountain time) feeling real bad. I did have a large BM,seen a bit of blood.  Felt like I was kicked in my left side. Runny nose started so I am having peppermint tea. Hurt to lie down and move.  I took a extremely hot shower which kinda helped. This is pretty much how I awake everyday now...wish I could sleep in and rest longer.  2 days til I see Warner.
Omg the pain I felt today.  On a scale of one to ten...it was a eight.  After I had a BM the pain kept building and building.  Upper left stomach going round the back.  Pain spread to my right hip.  Feel so bad...seeing Warner tomorrow at 2pm.


----------



## nativesith

I made the appt today.  Of all the tests done on my blood(which were a lot), one showed that there is something up with my gallbladder?!  I have a emergency ultrasound booked for 8 am tomorrow. I am also still low in b12, vitamin d and iron. anemic?
How could it be the gallbladder when it hurts on my left side(bladder is on right).  It may be my Pancreas or Gallbladder.  But finally something showed up.  Doc wants me to do the test and she said she will phone me on monday(Since she also has to send for the test results from High Prairie).
This hurts soo bad.
I did buy some digestive enzymes today...trying em now.
We are also waiting on approval of the Medical Marijuana.


----------



## Allison

Haven't they checked your gallbladder?  Of course, I know that GB problems don't always show up on tests.  Glad to hear that they're getting you in right away for an ultrasound.  Not that we want anything to be wrong, but it would be a relief for you to have some answers.

Continuing to pray for you.


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## nativesith

I am sure it was a bloodtest 2 years ago that checked GB and Pancreas and the doctor at the time was satisfied with the results.  Warner seen something today that pointed to the GB.  
But after taking a few digestive enzymes the pain is ...subsiding.  I can say it is easier to eat.  I asked the doctor in High Prairie for them but he gave me asacol. Today I was waiting for my prescription of painkillers and I was looking round the drugstore. Low and behold there they were...digestive enzymes.
Time to try rest...gotta wake up early for the ultrasound.  I will make sure they look at ALL of my abdomen.
Thank you all for your prayers and support...would na ave made it this far without you all.
Update:
Omg....I am soo upset.  We had a accident on the way to the ultrasound(which I obviously did na make).  My sister rear ended another truck.  My ol ford is written off.  The driver side in front is pushed in almost to the windshield.  No one was hurt thank god.
But my truck...I worked soo hard on that.  All of the money I made in the past 8-9 months went into it.  I have nothing now...no way of making any appointments. Why me?  Can't anything ever go my way.  I feel like giving up.  I am screwed   WHY!!!!?????
Had to take a cab back from Edmonton which cost me 135 dollars, which was for my bills.  Going in the hole because of this even more than I was before.


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## nativesith

Yesterday was bad, jus glad no one was hurt.
But...I talked to this young man yesterday, who is a good friend of my nephew.  He said he could tell that I am very sick and asked me what was wrong.  I told em about the pain in the upper left abdomen that goes round my back that NEVER goes away. The soreness of my hips, and feeling of pins and needles. The flu like conditions in the morning.  The weight loss and symptoms of my stomach(Nausea and vomiting). The feeling of malaise and hopelessness. I informed him that I had countless tests like: Cts,MRI's,ultrasounds,colonoscopes, endoscopes,blood tests...all to find nothing really.
He asked if I ever get rashes.  I told em I do...they come up once in a while. Like little bumps er blisters.  Then he said he was like me?!  He had been put through this wringer for years...until his doctor realized what this is.  SHINGLES!
Pain on jus one side w/ rashes , flu like conditions, nausea, vomiting, weight loss etc.
He said he was started on the medication Elavil at 25 mgs a night.  Then his pain stopped.  He has his life back now. He stated he jus has to take that one pill a day and that is it.  
My family and I got some $$$ together for a vehicle.  Na much but we found a van for cheap.  We are going to pick it up...on the way back I am going to see a ER doctor.
I will get Elavil today.  I prey this is it...please Creator let this be my path as well.


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## nativesith

Tried going to the hospital that did na work out too well. Waited there 5 hours before I left.I was in a lot of pain, seems like the waiting room chairs make my pain worse.
But something good has happened.  Saturday I bought some Digestive enzymes...and they make me feel better!  I can eat...no nauseousness(Well most of the time)and the pain has reduced. Today...my BM looked almost normal?!
Before the pain felt like a constant stabbing...now it feels like a bruise in my upperleft side.
I have read...that Digestive Enzymes can make Pancreatitis better(By giving it a rest)as well as Shingles.  IDK what to think...they both suck.  But shingles can be treated..where pancreatitis can not.
I will drop a bomb(na literally lol) here on the 15th!


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## Allison

LOL, good thing you clarified about that bomb.  Can't be too careful about what you say these days!

I am so glad to hear the digestive enzymes are helping -- something so simple!!  That really surprised me about the shingles; I never knew it could cause the GI symptoms.  Have you looked up pictures of shingles rash to see if that's what yours looks like?  What a shock if you should turn out to have shingles.

How's the new van?  I hope your children are enjoying their summer.  How hot does it get up there in the summertime?  It was 100 degrees F here yesterday.  Now _that_ is warm!


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## nativesith

I keep getting a rash off/on.  They look like rasied bumps er lil blisters(which is what I read they look like)...sometimes I remember scratching til I bled....my wife says I do it in my sleep?!  I kept pointing it out to doctors...they said it was na related.  Starting to think that was the key to this all.
My young friend said it was mostly stomach problems for him too...with a lil rash that came and went. Shingles attacks the nerves.Basically there is a inflamed nerve,the one that give the pain in ULQ. That comes into contact with the gall bladder,pancreas and stomach(Affecting em all?!). I think most times shingles is in fact a really bad really painful rash. I heard it can happen without a rash(15% of those affected).
Pain is being manageable. Bowel movements are becoming normal. Still awake in pain and have hip pain.
I think my van is great...was a great deal.  It needed a wire harness for the back right signal and left front signal cover and that was it. I jus put those on yesterday,went to pick n pull. Now we can pack the whole family in there and it has Air Conditioning. But financial hurdles(like buying the van) have taken their toll.We can na do much now. K days is coming up.  Trying to save a bit to take my children there, even though they are terrified of rides lol.
In Canada we go by Celsius na F.  Yesterday was HOT  like 34 idk how much that is in F lol.
Also...may have to wait to drop dat bomb....legal system is dragging my case out...go figure.
UPDATE: I was neglecting my garden for too long weeds were overrunning my raspberries,strawberries,gooseberries,blueberries.blackberries,saskatoons, and carrots. I pulled weeds for almost a hour. I noticed my legs began to tremble. But I forced myself to go farther. Today...my legs feels like I ran a marathon.The back of my legs HURT.  Hard to move...took a hot bath and tried some A535...feels a bit better.  I had to torture myself for my garden, but i love it so.  Even have some sunflowers right in front of my house which are doing really well. Want to do more but...the workload I have now is hard on me.


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## nativesith

Freaking out.  I am scared now, more than ever.  I am scared since I know this is my Pancreas.  Results of ingesting the digestive enzymes prove it to me. I can eat more now(With out most of the pain and nauseousness), My bowel movements are looking more normal.  I know now that my pancreas is not working like it should ve been for a very long time. It was like my body was pushing it to perform...but something is holding it back.  Before the enzymes the pain was excruciating(6-8/10). It is better now...but I can still feel it(5-6/10).  Upper left quadrant going round the back.
Appt w/ Warner @ the end of this month.  Really canna wait for this one.
Thanks again for listening.
UPDATE: 
Thought I was doing better...but yesterday.  That was soo bad.  Hot/cold feelings,Pain(8/10)in stomach,pain in left hip,nauseousness,no appetite,Blood in toilet(Hemorrhoids or stomach?).  I was bed ridden all day.  I did not want to move at all. Left hip was hurting bad...like my leg would fall off.  Stomach was really upset...kept hearing and feeling it.  Like thunder allover my mid section.
I think I may have gotten too confident and ate too much the day before.


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## Allison

Oh no, I'm sorry...  how did you do this past week?  Praying for God to help you.


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## nativesith

This was the worst week EVER.  Have na ate in three days. Ran out of medication. Symptoms of pain got worse up to ten.  From my stomach down hurt. Yesterday was the baddest.  I woke up feeling tortured and in agony.
Could na eat or drink. Pain began throbbing almost in the center of the stomach.  I began throwing up bile.  I was sweating and feeling dizzy. Had no choice to call the ambulance.
In the ambulance my heart was fluctuating, throwing up more bile.  I was crying hard.
The hospital (Threw up more bile)gave me morphine and buscopan.   Which did help.  Then the doctor came in and said..."Your stomach is messed up because of all the medications you are taking and you are a alcoholic." Basically called me a pill popper and drunk. I told em that the pain started way before I even knew about any narcotic painkillers. I also did na take any painkillers for over a week.I take em only when it gets this bad(which is alot I will admit) I also never drank in over ten years?!.The nurse's mouth hit the floor. Doctor walked out and the male nurse said he had no right saying that to me.  He said that was na the first time he said that to a native person and it wont be the last.  I stormed out. The nurse went to talk to the doctor and came out with a prescription. He said he was sorry and informed me to make a complaint online. Which I will most definitely do. I thank the Creator for that male nurse.
I honestly thought I was gonna die yesterday. Felt like I wanted to end my life to escape the pain in my life.
Today I made my appt with Warner...who told me never to go back to that hospital.  I asked her for Elavil,which she gave me....along with painkillers. Feel better now. 
GI appt next week...Warner wants to see me right after.
I prey something is found or the Elavil works...cuz idk how much longer I can go on.
I will let ya know how the Elavil works out and the new GI appt as well.


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## Allison

Oh my goodness, how absolutely horrible -- both the shape you were in, and the way you were treated.  SO thankful that the nurse was there to advocate for you.

I'm sorry for not remembering -- but have they ruled out your gallbladder??


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## nativesith

They have not ruled out the gallbladder or pancreas. I did take a elavil and ...the pain is decreasing. I may have shingles without a rash(right now anyway).  Thank the creator.


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## upsetmom

:ghug:..I just wanted to send you my support. 

I'm sorry to hear that your still suffering. I hope the GI figures out what's happening.


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## nativesith

OMG! The Elavil worked!  Last night was the best night sleep I had in years!  I can feel the pain decreasing.  Without it I would toss n turn waking up like 5-6 times a night. It is a nerve in near my back.  Inflamed it pushed against my stomach gallbladder and pancreas.  That young man was right...bless em.  I can still feel pain, but it is not as bad as before.
Now....I gotta start weening myself off of these bloody painkillers.


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## Allison

WOW that is wonderful!!  I was praying for you to feel better last night -thank you God!


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## nativesith

I am realizing now...this is shingles. I have a lil blisters on my hands and back right now.  I get extremely itchy.  Last summer was the last time I had a big rash. Been getting rashes for ages. I know now I have Postherpetic Neuralgia. Shingles reaked havoc on my nerves.  I prey the pain completely goes away.  Why couldn't the Neurologist see this? I have a rash,cold feeling from stomach down, fatigue,pain(Lasted over three years)effected my appetite, and effected my quality of life.  This made me suicidal for too long.  I am glad that I am feeling better.  But I am mad...mad since no doctor could figure this out. I had to ask for Elavil...if I did na do that.  I would be still rolling round in pain.  
Then being called alcoholic pillpopper jus a few days ago(Was na the first time)makes it worse?!


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## Catherine

We use used Capsaicin cream on the shringles rash.  It seemed to help.


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## happy

Hi nativesith, Sorry to hear you are still struggling. I was talking to a medical friend of mine. He named a few different diagnosis for the rashes that have the blister-like appearance that you describe. Try looking these up: polymorphic light eruption, phytophoto dermatitis, porphyria, pemphiugs, pemphigoid, 
He also suggested trying the East Edmonton Family Clinic if you need a new family doctor. I hope that you are feeling better soon.


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## nativesith

Well...I will be moving to Edmonton soon.  I want to be closer to my doctors and specialists.  
I am feeling better today.  Pain seems to be jus on my back now...but it is not as bad as before.
I am convinced that pain(Over three years)has effected my mind.  Made me crazy.  
Baby keeps getting a fever...we are both going in to the ER now.
UPDATE:Well baby has a infection in her throat. So she got antibiotics.
Doctor looked at me, took urine,blood and Xray(Chest+Stomach)tests.
Then said I have a infection in my stomach, he said it could be gastritis.
They were soo nice at that ER.  Gave me amoxcillian ...but it is giving me watery green diarrhea.  I also notice my stomach hurting a bit more today.
Could that be C Diff.
GI this week.
I can na believe it...but the upper left quadrant pain is almost gone!? Ever since taking the Elavil...it has been decreasing and decreasing! I had Shingles that went on to Postherpetic Neralgia.  Past few days and taking Elavil proves it to me.  This is the best I have felt for over three years!
Thank you Creator for guiding me and for bringing that young man into my life.


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## nativesith

I still can na believe this all...all I went through(looking back at this thread).Years upon years of unrelenting pain.  I diagnosed myself?!  Shingles and PHN. I am getting better now on Elavil, I even have a job now.  Now I need a anti viral?Still get nauseous and vomit, that is na a daily thing anymore. I can still feel pain,my in a area near to my spine.Pretty sure that was where the nerve is that inflames and pushes against my gallbladder,pancreas and stomach. Pushed against those organs...it mimicked Crohns/UC?
I think I need to see a psychologist.  I lost my mind going through this.  I really did.
The levels of pain I felt were unreal.  It gave me SEVERE depression. How could it not?
Next appt Aug 25th...hopefully I will finally have a real Dx.


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## nativesith

I do feel better then I did before the Elavil...but.  There are a few days in between when my stomach still acts up. I still get nauseous and vomit once in a while. Still get pain I still see blood when I use the toilet. Like today feel pain in the left front(5 on a scale of 1to 10).
My appt?  That one got me really mad and upset.  First, I had to gather enough 
for my ride(gas $)and the medication,which was really hard this time.  Anyway...on the way to Edmonton the docs office phoned and informed me my appt was pushed back a couple hours. So I had to kill a couple hours. Then when it was time, they told me it was canceled all together...I was crushed.  I told em I had to see a doctor that day.  I seen the walk in doc. He would na even listen to me....cut off every  sentence I tried to make. After all that,then they tell me Dr. Warner is no longer at that clinic?! Why could na they tell me that from the beginning? It is like they hate Warner and they wanted me to stay at their clinic.That walk in doctor barely helped me at all. Then I forgot the medication I got in the van that gave me a ride.  I am sure it was stolen since they just took my sleeping pills and painkillers. Tracked Warner down but she is na taking anyone til October in the new clinic. Until that time comes, she is at the old clinic(The one I was jus at?!).   Trying to straighten this out now.
Creator please help me see doctor Warner. I am soo tired of getting this kind of treatment.


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## nativesith

Well..went to the Closest ER again a couple days ago where the doctor thought I was constipated(Which I am not)from the Codiene Painkillers.  Would even let me speak.  I wouldve said I am peeing frequently with pain around the kidney area(I can feel it now). Feet/Legs felt cold with extreme fatigue. That ER doctor thinks I am a pillpopper.
Then I found out Werner in a Walk in doctor now so that is what I did. She gave me Valtrex(Shingles),upped the Elavil to 100mgs(Had a goodnight sleep ). She also tested my pee right there and said I do in fact have a kidney infection on top of my usual pain.And yes she also gave me medication for the infection.She also gave me Percocet for the pain and said when I run out to go see her immediately. She also said we are soo close to getting medical marijuana...hopefully next week.
Soo happy she is a Walk in doctor.My Family are now on the way to see her. We are all neglected by the medical community around the this area. My son Elvis(Always has a bad rash),wife Cheryl(Needs a scope to fix a valve in her esophagus),sister Dawn(Needs stronger medication for Schizophrenia), and my uncle(Diabetic with chronic pain in knees and legs). My uncle Jim,my ma, and I went yesterday. Werner said she would love to see me EVERYDAY if I could. I love that doctor. 
 I am better now, pain is manageable now.Happy that my kids are seeing her and two of em(Emily and Eli) are now in the school I used to go to ...Pigeon Lake Regional High.  They will receive a real education off reserve now. There are too many people in the Local school who work there that do not even have a grade 12 diploma. I like the idea of a school on reserve...but they need qualified people working there(Not the Chief n councils uneducated family and friends). 
  I prey for you all everyday. I could NEVER thank you all enough for the support you have provided me...means the world to me.


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## Allison

Thanks for the update!  I'm glad to hear things are better and that you and some of your family members are seeing a doctor who cares.  It is heartbreaking, the kind of treatment you have gotten, and there's just no excuse for it.  Also, great news that the children are in a better school!  I hope they have a happy and successful school year.

How's your little baby doing?


----------



## nativesith

Elisha is the happiest/healthiest member of my family. She makes me feel better jus by being herself.  She smiles all day long and she stays by her ma's side.
I promise to post a pic by the end of today.
Sorry about not posting the pic.  But I have been in agony for the past three weeks. But this pain is different. It is round my kidney  areas.   Like something inside is pushing against my back.  I can hardly move...bending is extremely hard.  Putting on clothes is hard. Going for a xray in about a hour.
I will get that pic up today.


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## nativesith

I am hurting again...from the stomach an down.  Effecting my appetite...scared to eat. Seems like the more I eat ...the more pain I feel. Now I feel pain in the lower part of my stomach in front(Even seems to go down my legs, especially my right). Idk what is going on in my body. Crohns,UC,er Shingles...whatever this is.  I hate it...hate the way it makes me feel an act.
Father...has died!  My step-dad...one man I called father for over 20 years is dead?!  I jus heard yesterday.  My aunt and uncle found em on his front step. Why now?
He was on his front step for how many days.  Feel so guilty fer na going to check up on him.  I would go see em at least once a week to check up on him and his dogs. But I was in too much pain for the past few weeks.  
My Ma is keepin it together the best she can...but she is crying alot.  My whole family is in tears.  Now we are preparing for the wake n funeral of my father Peter.
Creator help us.


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## Allison

Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your father, Peter!  What a sad thing for your family, and you don't need anything more to make you feel worse.  I will keep your family in my prayers.  

Did your x-ray from 9-4 show anything?


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## Hope345

sending love and support to you and your family.  I pray that you too find some relief with your health my dear friend.


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## nativesith

Thank you all for your prayers.
My father Peter was buried today.My Ma went to the funeral...wife went to the wake. I could na bring myself to do anything.  Still having a hard time dealing with that death.  We were informed he choked on something he was eating...his body was in front of his house for two days.  It was a closed casket.
I started a journal.  I write down how the pain is effecting me...also write down what I eat.
Notice I am seeing blood when I use the toilet.  I can feel pain in my lower stomach...from my ribs down I have issues.  My legs ache(more so on the left)and my feet feel really cold.  However the elavil and painkillers help...I can function a bit more.
But I can na push my push myself too hard.
I have also applied for Medical disability...which my doctor said she would help. I prey that goes through.  Can na help but feel useless to my family. If we get that at least we will have a bit more money.


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## Allison

Hi Nativesith, just wanted to check in and see how you're doing.  I am so sorry about the way you lost your father... what a sad thing.  

Hope your family is well.


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## nativesith

Losing a family member is always hard..lettin go.  I have a hard time lettin go.
My wife also let me know that I toss and turn all night long(Even when I am sleeping)making it almost impossible for her (And Elisha)to get any rest.  I knew I turned and tossed before I actually went to sleep.  Now thinkin about it...that is when I pain starts lately. Bottom left side. As soon as I lie down...BAM wall of pain. I fight the urge to take painkillers...since I must pay for them. $40 for 10 days worth.
Makes me lose my mind...reminds me how broke I am.  Applying for disability takes MONTHS.  I have to bring a form to Doctor Werner on the 15th.
Lost my journal...looked everywhere. Restless...know the meanin of it better than most.


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## nativesith

Seeing blood...  Stomach pain.  Feels better staying in bed. 
My family is having a hard time now.  My uncle hung himself a few days ago. My family and I are in shock and disbelief. My Ma checked herself into a mental institution. She fell for a romance scam on the internet giving up all of her money.  Some one saying he was a general she he loved my ma but needed money to come see her. I tried telling her that seemed fishy...but she believed it. All of that ...so hard not to bring me down.
Pain and loss...so hard to deal with it all.


----------



## Allison

Oh my, I am so very sorry about all your family is going through.  How horrible about your uncle.  Did he have a wife and children?  I can't imagine what you all must be feeling.  And your poor mother, it's awful how she was the victim of  that scam.  No wonder you continue to feel poorly, with all of this happening around you.  Thank you for the update and I will continue to pray for all of you.

Did you ever find your journal?  I hate losing things... happens to me all the time, but then the lost item eventually turns up.  

Are you snowed in yet?


----------



## nativesith

My uncle did have a family.  But his wife had left him...he could not live without her. Living on a desolate reserve does not help the depression.
My Ma is mad at me for not believing her.  I get angry when I think about all the money she wasted.
Cheryl and i cleaned the house thoroughly and we did find my journal. I can now update it.
Jus seen blood a few minutes ago.


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## ronroush7

nativesith said:


> I am hurting again...from the stomach an down.  Effecting my appetite...scared to eat. Seems like the more I eat ...the more pain I feel. Now I feel pain in the lower part of my stomach in front(Even seems to go down my legs, especially my right). Idk what is going on in my body. Crohns,UC,er Shingles...whatever this is.  I hate it...hate the way it makes me feel an act.
> Father...has died!  My step-dad...one man I called father for over 20 years is dead?!  I jus heard yesterday.  My aunt and uncle found em on his front step. Why now?
> He was on his front step for how many days.  Feel so guilty fer na going to check up on him.  I would go see em at least once a week to check up on him and his dogs. But I was in too much pain for the past few weeks.
> My Ma is keepin it together the best she can...but she is crying alot.  My whole family is in tears.  Now we are preparing for the wake n funeral of my father Peter.
> Creator help us.


I am so sorry about your father.  Prayers.

 2


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## nativesith

Losing my father was hard...hard to let go.
Even my Ma jus like she needed someone to replace him in her life. 
Loss.  Even lost my best dog...3 Socks.  He was the best dog I had ,loved him soo much since he was a lil puppy.  Never seen his death comin. It did snow lot...but most of it melted.  real icy outside.
Jus used the toilet...and seen mucus.


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## nativesith

Felt soo bad yesterday...did na want to get out of bed.  I felt angry at my body. Seems to never let me do anything. I did na make it to my uncle's funeral. I had bad diahria.
First Christmas without my father. Even my Ma does na want to come home for Christmas.
In fact, she does na want to come home at all.  Everything here reminds her of Pa.  Last Christmas was great.  I was on Prednisdone and feeling well.  Both Ma and Pa were home.  Children had a lot of gifts and Elisha was jus a newborn. This one well be jus my family with my sister's(Her n my nephew) and brother's(Him, n my sister in law, nephew and niece)...no elders this year.  Jus seems na right. Idk...
I wish you all have great holidays this year.  I honestly , can na wait for this year to be over.  Lost too much.


----------



## Allison

Hi Nativesith - I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing?


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## nativesith

Wish I could say I am at a hundred percent. I do know ...I can deal with this all better than I use to. Proof of that is reflected in my weight.  I did manage to put a few lbs back on. Pain continues...but on elavil it is better. Before that drug...it was way worse.
I do feel stronger...


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## nativesith

Cheryl and I jus got a call today from the local AISH (Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped) office.  I WAS APPROVED!
Finally my family and I are getting the help we need...Thank you Creator...Thank you with all I got .


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## nativesith

I think I have to say something...Never told this story that much.
While trying to think back to when this all started...
One of my uncles came over recently. My uncle Fred. He said I am sick because of what I went through when I was 5 years old.
Back then I stayed with my grand parents. They were never home...they played bingo too much. One night one of my uncles came home loaded with a lot of lsd.
Somehow I ingested a huge amount...I cant remember taking it. Next day I woke up and my nightmares came to life. Then my grandparents found out what had happened. They did not take me to a hospital. My grandfather said I was in the spirit world...and he had to go in to save me. I began seeing a lil person...a lil indian who said his name Coyote. He protected me for a time from evil spirits. But he said I would have to rise up and fight.My Grandfather called all other medicine men...some as far as New Mexico. When they arrived they began ingesting Peyote singing songs with a rattle and water drum...even made me take some. Soon they were all seeing what I was seeing. Evil spirits...snakes scorpions and one huge spider. They were trying to drag me into a pool of water. The huge spider dragged me under all the elders watched. That is when Coyote said NOW. Kill it! I began punching with all I had. Soon the spider was no more...I swam back up. The elders saw me emerge and it was over.
I still can na believe it all...but it is true. My uncle says I was never the same after that. I became smarter...but at what cost?
I do not know how to tell people this story let alone my doctor. I know my grandparents may have gotten into soo much trouble for that...but they helped me. I do na dare to think what woud ve happened without em.


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## happy

nativesith, 
Thank you for sharing your story.
Perhaps there are some unresolved issues from your time in the spirit world that could be helped by journeying there again with the assistance of a shaman, after you have done some preparation for such a journey. I found this book very helpful in learning about the shamanic spirit world: http://www.amazon.ca/Singing-Soul-B...d_sim_b_4?ie=UTF8&refRID=0HTDRGGSV7Z90CDSR234

Many people believe that we can journey to and in the spirit world by putting ourselves into a trance-like state by listening to drumming, without needing to ingest any kind of substance. Perhaps this method would be less frightening for you given your past experience. I have found this process very helpful at various times in my life.


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## nativesith

Thanks...that is a story I ve never told or come to grasp it all.
Pain continues...always there.  At my left side.
The other day my son offered me a cool drink of coke...I do not know what I was thinkin drinking it.  I must 've swallowed too much er too fast.  But it hurt my throat bad.  I stopped what I was doing n grabbed my chest.  I could feel that cold liquid going down.
Made me feel very sore after...
But now my family and I get financial support of Alberta. For that I am eternally grateful and shocked at the same time.  My doctor is amazing and brilliant for helping me.Feeling like I survived a natural disaster that was all on my own. I as always look to my family.
My son is becoming a man...much bigger than I am.  They are the world to me...the children.


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## nativesith

I think about a week I was feeling very well.  I was hungry, I felt lil pain. I almost forgot about this all.
Then it came back. I awoke feeling pain.  I went to the restroom.  I tried to have  a bm, but every time I would push I would feel something coming up.  I was throwing up while I was trying to have a bm.
Soon afterwards I felt very cold. I wanted to stay in bed all day.  Every time I tried to get up...I would get cold and feel pain again. I feel cold now...I can na even think of stepping foot outside my house. 
I am getting my med refill today..maybe that is why I felt soo bad...going without for a few days takes its toll.


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## upsetmom

:ghug:...I hope your feeling better by now.

What's happening, anymore  testing getting done?


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## nativesith

I am on a waiting list for different GI.  Wish I could say I m better.  But the medication I get now makes a great difference.  Managed to gain a bit of weight back.  
Turning 40 this month...feeling kinda old lol.  Ma says it makes her feel really old. My oldest child Emily turns 16 on the 27th?!
Hope you all feel better , you will all be in my prayers.


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## Hope345

Hope your med puts you back to feeling better.   Your not old...    40 is a great age!!!
Happy early birthday...        take care my friend


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## nativesith

A few days ago I was in soo much pain,  I wondered why.  I am doing all I can...all the doctors instructions.  I looked back...what was I doing.  I was na eating...all I was doing was drinking hot tea.
Then I realized that had to be it!  I drink tea and it hurts me.  I pee too much, or when I need to pee it does na come out for a while. I even pee at night...I wake up feeling the need to go.
I know this is my left kidney...I know now it is not working like it should. kidney and bladder were the reason my stomach is sore.
I feel like I lost soo much. There are soo many foods I cant eat.  Now I cant drink anything but water.  The more I drink...the more it hurts.
I have practically all the symptoms of kidney disease.


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## nativesith

Omg...Think I am on the right track.
After I stopped drinking tea the pain in my back left went down. Now I limit how much I drink. When I drank tea or pop the pain would get bad.  It kept me up at night.  It made me cry many times.
But now...I am understanding the way my body is. Making a appt with Warner and requesting to visit a urologist.
I understand what this is now...and I am afraid of it now more than ever. Doctors all thought it had to be the stomach.  But stomach problems can be a side effect of messed up kidneys and/or bladder.


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## nativesith

Omg...right side just above my hip hurts soo bad.  3rd day. Yesterday even sitting was a problem. Spent most of the day in bed tryin not to cry.  It woke me up several times last night.  I can feel it going down my right leg...so walking is slow.  I did have a bm this morning as well as yesterday,so I know I am not constipated.  This does not feel like it's my stomach.


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## upsetmom

Did you end up getting your kidneys checked out?


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## nativesith

I am doing the tests soon.  Tomorrow I will take the blood test and book the ultrasound.
I know it is my kidneys.  I mean..first I noticed tea would make my sides hurt.  Now it is pop/soda and some juices.  
Other day my family and I ran out of bottled water...all we had was pop.  I tried to stop myself....but I was thirsty. After that four days of pain.
If I consume drinks like that, then I know I will have to endure great pain.
In those four days, I felt soo bad I would lie down. That is when I can really feel it. I felt a throbbing pain in my side/sides and it shoots down my legs.
I guess it is nothing but water and cranberry juice for me.


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## Allison

Hi Nativesith, I haven't been into the Crohnsforum in awhile and just realized I needed to stop in here and see how you're doing.  So sorry to hear your kidneys are giving you trouble.  Otherwise how are you and your family?


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## nativesith

Well my family are doing great.  Kids all passed their grades in school. My son Eli has grown soo much.  He will be in grade 8 and is now BIGGER then his mother and I.  He looks like I did when I was that age...I mean almost exactly. Emily,my oldest, will be in grade 11?! she is now 17?! Elvis is also getting taller.  Elisha is walking and terrorizing everything she can lol. Myself still hurting.  But I try not to let it get me down.
My brother in law was attacked ,received a broken arm and he was stabbed.  The local hospital practically gave him tylenol?! I could not believe that.  He came to stay with us for a while,since he feels safer around me.  I maybe sick...but I would never back down to protect me and mine. All who have known me know that.


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## nativesith

Finally got my tests booked.  The local hospital could n't do the tests for six months. 26th is booked.  Seems like forever,six months would've been agony. I do feel better since now I only drink water. No pop(er soda),juice,coffee or tea.  Guess my life is pretty plain as in not alot of choices.  I do feel lucky to have made it as far as I have.  My last grandfather has died...he was 85.  He caught Pneumonia and soon after that ...kidneys gave out. He lived a LONG life...out living most around him.  He was a proud and old school warrior.  He is now with my grand mother and other ancestors.
Suddenly my cousin died in a car accident.  She died young and way before her time. It is soo sad to see a young mother leave all that she loves.
On top of that...our chief died of a heart attack.  Idk how to feel anymore...
All I know is that my pain seems so small in the picture of my reserve right now.
I prey the situation becomes better for us all.
Thanks for any listening.


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## nativesith

Made it to my test.
Idk....what happened after.  Maybe the pressure of the wand, the ride home(van), or being a bit more active.  After the test...my right side began to hurt.  That was a 10.
I became angry as my side began to throb in great pain.  Lasted about 8 hours.
I just prey something(ANYTHING) was seen in the tests performed today.


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## Hope345

Thinking of you.   So sorry about all your family.   I pray they find what is causing your issues.


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## nativesith

Omg...past 48 hrs...soo sick.
I woke up 4am vomiting.  Again at 9 am, I threw up bile.
Tried to sleep.  The back of my legs were sore. Nauseousness continued for 2 days.
Usually the painkillers help...but not this time.  This time they made it worse.
I do feel better now a bit sore.


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## nativesith

Yesterday the was....omg.  Worst day I had in a while.  I ran out of almost all my medication three days ago. I had been losing alot of blood within that time.  First of all, I woke up in extreme pain in my left side.  It began to throb getting worse every time.  My wife rushed to get my refills.  I took a few painkillers and was almost fine. I managed to eat some chicken and rice.  I taken the elavil.  Soon after that I became dizzy.  I do not remember what happened after that.  My wife says I was tripping almost every step.  I sat down and wobbled back n forth. I then fell forward and hit my head on the table.  She got scared and dragged me to bed where I was out before hitting the pillow.
I remember I blacked out like a month ago...in the bathroom.  Hit my head on the wall that time.  I just hope I don't break anything or hurt anyone.  It worries me.  My head feels fine...no injuries.
Next appt is on the 10th...I will tell the doc what is happening.


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## Hope345

nativesith said:


> Yesterday the was....omg.  Worst day I had in a while.  I ran out of almost all my medication three days ago. I had been losing alot of blood within that time.  First of all, I woke up in extreme pain in my left side.  It began to throb getting worse every time.  My wife rushed to get my refills.  I took a few painkillers and was almost fine. I managed to eat some chicken and rice.  I taken the elavil.  Soon after that I became dizzy.  I do not remember what happened after that.  My wife says I was tripping almost every step.  I sat down and wobbled back n forth. I then fell forward and hit my head on the table.  She got scared and dragged me to bed where I was out before hitting the pillow.
> I remember I blacked out like a month ago...in the bathroom.  Hit my head on the wall that time.  I just hope I don't break anything or hurt anyone.  It worries me.  My head feels fine...no injuries.
> Next appt is on the 10th...I will tell the doc what is happening.


Have you heard any results yet?   I pray they help you


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## Colitisson

So sorry to hear about all of this, thank you for sharing and i hope they find out what is causing all your problems! 
All the best <3


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## nativesith

Sorry for not being around lately...jus have not felt very good lately.
Tests came back negative.  It is soo hard..living like this.  Doc is frustrated, imagine how I feel.
Pain messes me up.  I forget things really quickly.  I don't know if I am trying not to remember and really forget this all. Seems like these symptoms really puts one in the moment right now. Like how am I feeling right now and what will tomorrow be like. I can barley remember last week. I remember yesterday. I remember it since I was nauseous all day.  Smelling any food cooking made me feel really bad.
Though I guess not remembering stuff like that would be preferable or jus better for me.
I am on imuran now...which I think is going well. I am noticing that I do use the restroom more.
My weight and eating get me down.  I see my family members eating like there is no tomorrow. My sister is HUGE.and my brother is right behind her. Now at 40..my little sister ,mother and brother all are bigger weighing much more than myself. Even my 12 year old son Eli towers over me.  Not saying I want to be taller or weigh
 more than I do. But I do battle with how much I weigh. Breakfast is almost non existent for me. Well I do eat breakfast..jus not at the time one should.  Food an enemy?
There is soo much I cant eat. Then there is getting it down and keeping it down.
That is the fight I fight every day. I know I should eat more. 
I m trying hard to be positive.  Do not need any more negativity in my life. No matter what happens ...gotta stay positive.
I know that the fight now is less than it was last year(Or the one before that
). Thanks to Dr. Werner...I feel better than before.  That is positive .
I prey we all can find some positivity and happiness in our lives.  One must do that...living with Crohns.


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## ronroush7

I wish you the best and will pray.


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## nativesith

I wanted to get out of the house today. Wanted to ride the quad I spent a lot on($1200 Daytona Anima 190cc).  Once I it 4th gear...it started to hold back.  Looked down to see fuel spraying on my leg. Stopped and put the fuel line on as best I could.  Making my way back home it stopped all together.  I was near my cousin's place. So I pushed it in his yard. I was trying to kick start it when my cousin appeared. Then outta nowhere I began throwing up bile.  Then I threw up a bit of blood. I could'nt believe how came out.Since I felt so horrible I asked for a ride home.  I knew he would watch the quad for a while. Once I got home I went to my bed.  I could feel and hear my heart pounding. Pretty sure it was a panic attack. Then I passed out.  Damn I gotta get that fuel line fixed.
Top of all that, I had a small bump on my finger(left beside pinky).  It gets worse everyday. I am putting band aids  with ointment all the time.Looks like it is getting between the bone in my hands. Looks bruised.  Think its a boil...but never can be sure.


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## ronroush7

I hope you get better soon.


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## nativesith

I m thankful for my friends .I am soo thankful my hand finally healed up. That was beginning to scare me. I noticed my ribcage was hurting.  Specifically my front left bottom rib was very sore. Feels like I took a hit.  Or I thought something was pushing against it.  It is more noticeable when I sleep. Some days I wish I could stay in bed. But it is soo hard to sleep when I hurt bad. I stay up alone and exhaust myself. If I dont I will lie down for hours fighting the pain. ...idk. Must be flaring up...pain is bad.
Must make appt to see my doc soon


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## ronroush7

Here is hoping you are better soon.

 2


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## nativesith

Its been hard to concentrate on myself lately. Hurt bad, soo bad it was really hard trying to sleep. My left hip pain arose again. Past week I was soo full with pain...but I am na the only one.
A childhood friend just committed suicide. He was a big brother to myself and others. We had a lot of good times together. I remember laughing hard...so hard it hurt with him. I am soo angry at him now.  When I think of how many friends and family committed suicide...I can na come up with  number.  That number is way too high.
Another family was hit hard. A young beautiful woman died. She was so beautiful. Last year she was told she could na have children. Then a few days ago she went to sleep...but she could na get up after that. She still had a heart beat. Her husband rushed her to the hospital. He was told she had a aneurysm. They tried to save her...but it was too late.  She is brain dead.
Good bye Trevor and Jolene.you will be missed.


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## ronroush7

I am so sorry.


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## nativesith

I am flaring up bad. Anything I eat...seems like a disaster. Flood gates open and I go to the bathroom.  Thats when watery stuff comes out of me like a raging river. It hurts soo bad. I screamed out of my bathroom.  I went to my room and cried. When I lay down is when I feel it all too much. How can we sleep like that? Now I feel my throat..it is sore. I have a hard time swallowing anything. Jan 1st my tongue began to hurt soo bad it hurts to talk now. 
I want this to end...I hate being like this. Can it get any worse?
I prey for us all.


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## happy

nativesith,
Sounds like you need to get to see a doctor soon. They can give you an IV at the hospital to help with hydration if you are having such liquid bowel movements. You could have an infection like C.difficile which is very infectious and needs antibiotics. Also the tongue problem could be due to a B12 deficiency. You may need to try some liquid shakes like Ensure for awhile to keep up your nutrition and to prevent dehydration.


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## nativesith

You know...I had very little sleep last night.Morning my phone rang...I answered. It was my Ma...She told me my uncle just died. He was my dad Pete"s only brother. He died freezing on the streets of Edmonton. I cried and began thinking THIS IS WHAT IT LIKE BEING INDIAN. No one will help everyone sees us as criminals.  Seems like they want us all dead or in jail. 
I did try to eat something only to go through my raging river again.  So I went to the drugstore for my refills. Next thing I know an rcmp pulls us over. He began talking(very angrily) to me.  He said I did have my seatbelt on. Any time I enter a vehicle I put on my belt and I make sure everyone does the same thing. So he asked if I had a iD.  I said no...and I told him my name.  He came back and told me I was not telling the truth.  He said the man I was trying to impersonate was 300lbs. I replied I am sick with crohns...is it a crime to be a skinny Indian?  I told em I have no reason to lie and I know my seatbelt was on. Where were the cops when my dad or uncle died?  Being a native man is is a hard existence. He was so sure I was lying. He even said that my driver's license says I was 250lbs. Then I said what license? 
The whole time I was trying not to throw up covering my mouth. Then I realized he breath smelled like excrement.
That was when my old (white)school teacher came by and asked me what was going on. I told Bill the cop was saying I was lying to him. Bill began talking to the rcmp really loudly. He said things I could only dream of saying to a cop. If I said anything like that to a cop...I would get arrested and beaten. Then he writes a seatbelt fine to me and takes off. Bill hugged me...I was crying. He said he remembers me talking about how bad the cops were...but he never knew how bad it really was.
I was just trying to get my medication.  If Bill did not come by...I would be in a cell beaten down. Bill had always known that I was sick.I am going to fight back in court.  I had my belt on...only to be called a lier.  Boy his breath was disgusting. That is one reason why I never want to leave my house.  What do I have to do?  Must I report that I have crohns...report every pound I lose? When I was a child My dad and my uncle(also every other family member) told me if I ever see a cop...hide or run away. Now I am saying that to my children.
Why Creator?


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## ronroush7

I am very sorry for all you are going through.  Sending support


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## Allison

Wow I have not been here (in the Crohn's forum) in awhile, but reading your story from two days ago breaks my heart.  I am so sorry for the way you were treated, all the while you feeling so sick.  What a blessing that your teacher came along and was able to vouch for you.

My deepest condolences also on the loss of your uncle.  You and your family are in my prayers.


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## nativesith

Thank all my friends ere.  You saved me, all of you, by listening and reading what I post ere. Even when I read it all I can na believe it all...all seems so unbelievable.  But it is all too real.  I wish that was all not real, some huge lie, or some f'd up nightmare.
The RCMP...wow. I fixed a police scanner that someone gave to me knowing I could fix it...which I did. After it began working my family and I listened to it for days. We all became utterly disgusted and enraged.  We became like that because every name that they ran ,charged and went out of their way to invoke up fines and/or jail time.I swear 98% of the time the people being charged, harassed, and racially hated on were my people.Native Americans...West Indians...Canadian Aboriginals are now and always have been in war with the RCMP. I WISH THE WORLD WAS A FAIRYTALE. Who do they serve and protect?  They work against and harm(even kill?!) my people.  They waged war on us for hundreds if na thousands of years...Why would they stop or become what they are supposed to be now?  
Many days I feel soo much pain that I do na feel like myself...trying to sleep and na achieving that adds it that all.  But now Dr.Werner has given me HIGH powered pain killers with HIGH powered sleeping pills. This ocean of pain overwhelms me.  But now I get flashes of normality. My head gets temporarily out of that ocean of pain.  In those flashes...I ave come up with a plan.
All of those who truly know me...know that I hate popularity contests.  But there is one contest I feel I must enter and win.  That contest? My reserve election for Chief of my tribe.  I am going to run...AND I AM GOING TO WIN.  Not for me and my family.  Not for my own personal gain.  For what is right. I want the real criminals of my people to go to jail for stealing from the tribe.
Fifteen years ago Chief and council made up laws that helped the RCMP in their war against us.  They proclaimed our tribe was a Dry reserve.  Anyone drinking alcohol was charged a $250.00 on top of any other charge the RCMP could dream up of.  That money stayed in the "white society".  People were and are still being imprisoned for having a drink.  Top all of that all, Chief and council then went forward and created our own police force which was really created for that one law that made money for the closest white society to our reserve.  All of the reserve police's salary combined came up to over a million dollars a year.  Guess who paid for all that?  My tribe. Now Chief and council say we are broke any and every chance they get.
One of neighbor tribes which has like ten times the amount of members as my tribe leads the way when it comes to criminals.  They went to war on their own.  Coming up with a law that takes to home of those who get busted for drugs specifically trafficking drugs.  So if anyone gets busted they automatically lose their home?! Guess what my Chief and council did?  Without asking anyone in our community they followed that f'd up tribe and made up the same law in my tribe?!
Isn't native life hard enough without our so called leaders joining the war of the RCMP...Are they na supposed to work for us?  That sounds like they are working against us!  Then the real criminals who inbesil and steal money from us are still free. They are the ones who should be in jail...they are the ones who should lose houses and be BANNED from any reservation.
I am a sick man, but I can no longer stand aside and let this continue.  This all has to change.
First item I will put into action? Item one:A referendum asking my people...Should we continue the so called dry reservation and the monies it makes for other communities?  Yes or No? Item two on the same referendum...Should anyone lose their house if they are caught selling drugs?  Yes or no?
Those are two ideas off the top of my head.  I believe anyone in the leadership positions should be full of ideas...not full of shit lol.  They should have countless ideas on how our tribe could produce money and positivity. All they have now is countless ideas how to spend money and wage war on our own.
I am Native Orion Sith... and I will be Chief in three weeks.
Thanks for all who read and really listen to my ideas.


----------



## Allison

How are you feeling?

Are you Chief yet?!


----------



## nativesith

The whole political thing....Who was I kidding?!  If I did run for Chief...I would 've easily won. Honestly, everyone is waiting for me to step up to the plate.   But the state I am in ..it would 've killed me jus like the late chief we had.,  My political system is all set up.  Only ones that can afford the fee are chief and counsel. If I paid that fee...My children would be forgotten and hungry.  
My children...I feel soo sorry for them...it's like they have no dad. They are the members of my family that care the most about me.  They know my WHOLE universe revolves around them. I can say with out them...I would've gave it all up a long time ago.
OMG...I wish my pain would be non-existent.  I am soo ashamed... I think of suicide EVERYDAY.  I haven't ate for 3 days and my left side still aches.    It never stops...I jus want it  to stop. I try escape it everyday. On preneisdone...it was good for the first week...but I crashed HARD. I gained alot of weight that first week, even ate at IHOP. Everyday since then I feel sore all over especially on my left side and hip.I have a slight fever. When I eat I can feel it all going to diaheria.  The best way I can describe the pain...A stab wound one my left side....it never goes away. I am soo ashamed to say that I resorted to drinking and even some hard drugs.  They give me temporarily relief and I feel like my old self ....but it slips away.  I HATE that THAT!  I hate what I become.
All of this coming form the suicide capital of the world.  Maskwacis Alberta Canada.
I beg the Creator to save me...save me form myself.
I wish I could say something positive...but the levels of pain I feel is getting too much for me to handle.  Even when I do dream...the pain is still there even in all my dreams I am sick?!  
I have a appt in the beginning of march..That day I am asking for fenetol.  I need the strongest painkiller jus to be half ass normal....I hate myself.....   
Sorry for not reporting as much as I usually do...but I did na want to bring you all down.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME.


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## ronroush7

Your life is precious.


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## Allison

ronroush7 said:


> Your life is precious.


It certainly is!  Please don't give up, your children need you.


----------



## Jennifer

I'm sorry to hear that you're in so much pain nativesith.  It sounds like you may have a stricture which could be from active inflammation or scarring or both. If the Prednisone helped a little at first then it's likely both. At your next doctor appointment is it possible to have them run some tests to see how things are looking inside and see if maybe you might need some other medication (I'm not aware of what you're currently taking or what you can take)? Have you tried a soft, bland diet or even an all liquid diet to see if that helps to reduce the pain at all? Keep us posted with how your appointment goes.


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## nativesith

Eating is hard...but getting easier the past couple days.  But there is something happening in my life that is making is all worse.  Alcoholism...my wife wont stop. Seems it is her mission to get wasted EVERYDAY.  That is really why I did drink...because it was too available to me...but that made me worse.  Right now(the past three weeks) it seems like it has jus been me and the kids.  She is out now doing gods knows what.  I can't take it anymore...I asked my aunt and uncle to come stay with me for a while and honestly I need some kind of support. This woman is putting me more n more in the hole.  Why would she do this to me and the children?  I love her with all I got...we been together over 20 years.  But I can't see it going much further.  All this heartache and worry makes this condition worse. Elisha and I cry a lot...cuz we miss her mom...and how we used to be.   O my babies...I never wanted this for them.  Ill Father and alcoholic mother...now I must stand up for my family when it is hard for me to stand at all.  I MUST PUSH MYSELF everyday to do what must be done for the children to have at least one responsible parent.   
Now I am going to cry myself to sleep .  I thought she would always love us and support me in sickness and health.  
Pain keeps on hitting me...hard to sleep and stay asleep...I've been staying up for two days at a time.  Partly since I must work harder for the kids.  I wake up in gut wrenching pain and with muscles all over my legs cramping up.  Hurts soo bad... I must jump outta bed and stretch very slowly. Laying back down it feels like that is about to happen any minute.
IDK...what to do anymore or what is gonna happen for that matter.
Prey for me...prey for us all.


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## ronroush7

Prayer and support.


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## Allison

So heartbreaking to read.  I am keeping you in my prayers.


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## Hope345

you have support here.
I am sorry to hear you are doing all of this alone.  You are a good dad and your kids are blessed.   Hopefully your kids help you out too... as a team.  
I pray your wife comes around soon.  
take care my friends.


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## ronroush7

Support


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## nativesith

Thanks...sorry I have na been round in a while but my life really went to hell.
Right now...I feel nauseous sore and pooping water like crazy...have na ate all day.
Everyday I take pain killers cuz I wake in agony rolling round my bed.  Seems like both my side start first thing in the morning.
Top it all off...that woman who I loved for over 20 years is breaking my heart.  She drinks to black out...then she went off on me.  She first came home blacked out like almost two weeks ago...I asked what the hell is going on.  So then she wanted to go to her family's house.  On the way there she hit me with a bottle in the back of my head saying she hates me.  My uncle n aunt tried to pull her off me.  But all that did was pull out lots of my hair.  Then we got to her family's and they came out and could not believe their eyes.  She was going all out on me hitting me repeatedly.  I screamed out to them....HELP ME.  Get her off!  It took 5 people?!  Then i told my aunt LETS GO!  We came home to my kids crying...my oldest Emily said her Ma told her she has 3 boyfriends. She cried...I cried...then security showed up and dropped HER OFF?!  I was opening the door when she kicked it...it hit my big left toe ripping off my toenail.  The children began crying and screaming get out of here.  i told my Ma to take em next door to my sisters.  Then she attacked me again saying I turned the kids against her.  I said You have done that YOURSELF...your scaring them and hurting me?!.   My foot was bleeding bad with my nail hanging by a thread.  I screamed get out go back to your family's.  i had to threaten to call the cops...then she left.
Security brought her to my house like that?!  I called em and told em what happened.  It was a childhood friend of mine who could not believe what he was hearing. He said don't call the cops cuz they would not believe a man getting abused by a woman.  Told him that if they ever pick her up again like that to take her to the tank.  My god creator...what has happened to her...She was talking like the devil.


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## ronroush7

I am so sorry for all you are going through.


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## nativesith

My toe finally stopped hurting yesterday.  For two weeks my whole left side hurt BAD.  My head hurt...even my left ear...My sides from this disease...and worst of all my toe which got infected. i am still in shock idk what to do or how to handle it all. 
But my children took and stand and all of them said...We are with you dad. I cried soo hard...they dont deserve this. They want to move away from this all...and I agree with them...with all I got.  
I am trying to be strong for them...Creator please help us escape it all.


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## Jennifer

Oh geez, I'm really sorry.  Women are just as capable of being abusive. One of my sisters can be as well when she drinks and I've heard of plenty of other women doing the same to guys I know. I hope she'll be able to get some help. You have to want it though for something like that. No one can really force you to go to AA etc. Being placed in the drunk tank is a better idea then letting her go back home like that. You an your kids are strong though and will make it through this together. 

I hope you're able to stay off your foot as much as possible to allow it to heal. Are you actively seeing a GI for the abdominal pain? It's starting to sound a lot more serious.


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## everthin

I'm so sorry Nativesith but you need to get away from this situation and stress, this is not good.  I was raised by mean abusive alcoholic women and I have a tendency to attract bad girls, and so I give up on them myself.  I am the blood type that can take allot of pain, and I can tell you are too.  Please work on a way to get yourself into a safer situation so that you can heal and find enough relief to get into a better place.


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## ronroush7

everthin said:


> I'm so sorry Nativesith but you need to get away from this situation and stress, this is not good.  I was raised by mean abusive alcoholic women and I have a tendency to attract bad girls, and so I give up on them myself.  I am the blood type that can take allot of pain, and I can tell you are too.  Please work on a way to get yourself into a safer situation so that you can heal and find enough relief to get into a better place.


Àmen


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## nativesith

Pain is soo bad...my stomach hips n back are driving me insane.  Poop is water.  Trying to sleep is next to impossible.  Wish I had energy to stand up for Iself and say Enough!
Enough of the relationship I was to true to for over twenty years.  Now I cant look at any woman the way I used to. It makes it all worse.
Top it all off...got a huge boil on my right tricep.  And one of my uncles commited suicide cuz he had prostate cancer.  Good bye Unc...I understand mo than most what you were going though. Its hard not to think of stringing yourself up when something is literally eating you up inside .


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## ronroush7

I am sorry for everything you are going through..  You have a lot of support in this forum.


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## Allison

Nativesith, somehow I had missed your last few posts and am SO sorry to read all that has been happening.  I've been wondering how you were doing.  You are in my prayers for everything you are experiencing.  I am so very sorry.


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## nativesith

Thanks guys making me cry...wish I had more support in my reserve world. That woman does nothing but make my life a HELL.  Wanted to go to my uncle's wake...but she is gone.  Drunk and passed out at her Ma's right now.  Whole reserve is talking about my relationship...she is having multiple affairs.  I know two men who are involved...n i want to hurt em all soo bad.  i can take whatever pain is thrown at me...when I know the same can not be said for them.  Idk...wish she was true to my family n I.  Like cooking and cleaning for kids and rub my back once in a while. Instead she goes on Facebook and complains about HER life?!  You kidding me?  Seems like sex and getting wasted 24/7 are all that matters to her.  She does not care about me...I know that now. Soon it will be over...I am going to get professional help to get out of this relationship.


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## nativesith

I feel like I am going crazy.  Like there is so many voices in my head that never stop.  Versions of myself...that be all negative.  When people see me now they dont recognize me.  Feels like I am starting my life all over again.  Lookin at the guy in the mirror...ell... I dont even recognize.  The bigger guys inside me say what the ell is gowan on. Your losin it.  Wish they would jus shut up and let me sleep.
I miss the country.  I used to sleep so well out there.  I would wake up to the sounds of wildlife...to birds singing.  Singing to me...I remember all their songs.  I miss that.
All I wake to now is traffic...violence...fights and my pain.
But it made me stronger...like I can take it like it is nothing. Jus wish the negative natives inside would stop. Hate those guys. Idk...


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## nativesith

This is a long overdue pic of my Baby Elisha with my Ma.
She's acting like ol dad lol.


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## ronroush7

Sweet.  Thanks for sharing.


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## Allison

Awww, little Elisha is just adorable!  I knew she would be!  Thank you so much for putting up her photo.  Your mother looks sweet too.  :heart:

Continuing the prayers for your family & situation.


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## nativesith

Omg...feel so scared. I have a upcoming scope soon.  I fear the worst...idk what that could be.  All I know is this is bad. Cant sleep...pain is worse when I lie down.  Feel like I have to sleep sitting up.  I have had aboot 6hrs sleep in the past 3 days. Constantly feel soo much pain from the back of both sides of my bottom ribs to both hips.  I am fighting soo hard to get away from that.  This is the fight of my life...one I canna lose. This is soo hard...Feel like a zombie, half dead.  Is that why it is hard for me to be intimate or have any type of intimate relations (I.e. sex people)? Like isnt that why my partner did what she did? You know before that happened...I was really pushing myself HARD to have sex.  Like it hurt BAD. Now ...I gotta try to live some kind of life, a better life.  Because I have a sense that many members of my family are going out live me. Rushed life is one that defines sad.
But you know what I found? I found almost all this medication almost NEVER works the way it should. But I also found something beautiful. I found dat when I am round certain people I feel better. Recently, my cousins Mason and Wesley came back into my life.  I feel soo much positivity from them. I feel the pain slip away when I am round them. There is also a woman I know that makes me feel soo good.  But what am I supposed to do...say can we move in together? Feel like that love will save me.


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## nativesith

Well...I feel bad today.  Sore all over...stomach hurting making weird noises all day.
But I am happy.  I am happy because today...I stood up for my kids n I and said no more...we are done. She choose the bottle over me n the kids. She literally did...showed me a 26 of vodka and tried to tempt me.  I told her...jus leave n know that you n I are done now n forever. We are both single now...so you do what you want to live how you want to live.  Kids n I will be here trying to have a better life.
She came back here for two days...I let her to visit the children.  But I know what happened...I know the truth.  I hacked her facebook...and it was all there. The lies...the cheating.  She went on there for years stating she hated being with a sick man.  She wanted to be single.  She wanted to party all the time. I cried soo hard...how could she say all that?
I have a appt tomorrow with Dr Werner...n she is gonna hear about this betrayal.  I so need to get tested for stds now ...damn it.
But I am done with her...and that makes me happy.


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## ronroush7

I am sorry for all you are going through .  I hope you have a good application  tomorrow.


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## Allison

Well... I surely am sorry to hear all this.  Your children are blessed to have a good father who cares about them, so stay strong!  Praying for you.


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## everthin

Be strong, change is hard, addictive stuff is challenging, she probably ain't gonna change, if so it's only when she is ready.  You might sleep better knowing you done the right thing for yourself and kids.  If she's abusive then thank god your showing your children this is wrong.


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## nativesith

Jus me ,the kids, and my Ma.  Almost two weeks now.  I do feel way better without her dragging me down all the time. Pain doesnt seem soo bad...really. Even the house seems better...like it stays clean now.  She is a messy hoarder and now I am spring cleaning all dat.  
But being a single father with crohns and a 2 year old....is the hardest thing in the world.  Jus glad my Ma is ere supporting me and caring for Elisha 24/7.  O my baby...love her with all I got.
Women are banging down my door constantly.  Jus had one who came over...she was drinking n I could ve took advantage.  But I dont wanna be the creepy guy who takes advantage of drunk women.  And she is HOT omg.  Soo many hot girls trying to get with me.  But I really dont wanna do that now.  I wanna be single....I dont wanna do a relationship again.  After what I been through...its asking too much from myself.  I gotta fix myself...and that could take forever.  I also dont want anyone who drinks or does drugs.  
I have a extremely hard time trusting anyone now.  I cant sleep with anyone beside me.  Cheryl abused me BAD.  Once she burned me while I slept.  She had a lighter...lit it up and held it upside down to heat up the metal part.  Then she threw in on me.  I woke up in great burning pain.  She was standing over me.  I was like wth r u doing?!  She laughed like a psycho. All because someone was phoning and hanging up.  She thought it was a girlfriend of mine.  But I had no girlfriend and no clue what the hell was going on.  I will never forget er forgive that.  Burned me. As if I dont have enough pain er having a hard time sleeping as I do. 
But yeah its soo much better without her....I can actually sleep in peace now.  And the pain aint soo bad.


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## silentsurvivor

Hi everybody!! It's Floyds daughter. I have some bad news for you all.


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## silentsurvivor

hello!!! I'm Emily, floyds daughter - I'm here to announce the passing of him. He passed away on June 8th and was admitted to the hospital early in the morning of May 28th. We're having a wake ceremony for him right now. On may 27th it was my 18th birthday, I remember he telling me he was so proud of me and how much he loved me, if only I knew that would be the last time I'd see of him. The last words he told me were "I'm sorry, my girl" because I was lecturing him on how he wanted to keep mom in our lives when he knew that she was a toxic person. He had a broken rib and caught pneumonia, and as you all know he had Crohn's on top of that. He was in alot of pain -- coughing up blood and crying all the time. I was sleeping by the time he admitted himself to the hospital. He passed out by the time he got there -- and they sent him to a city hospital far away. They didn't even tell us he was on life support until monday. I didn't cry when I found out because I was in shock, shaking alot and stuff, I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. Me, mom and kokum (grandma) visited him everyday, except for my siblings because they said they didn't want to see him in such a state like he was, He couldn't talk or move since he was paralyzed and sedated. I missed alot of school. We all cried the first time we saw him, he wasn't conscious because they had to keep him sedated. He was on like 10 different medications. The doctors told us by the time he arrived at the hospital they thought he was going to die, but he managed to survive, they told us he was going to improve and be out in a month. They told us nothing but good things. I remember going to bed that night before wednesday, thinking "I'm gonna see my dad tomorrow!! I can't wait to hear what he's improved on today!!!" but it was just before 4AM that I woke up to my grandma crying. I knew that he died so I started sobbing too, before you knew it everybody in the house was too. My little sister elisha is too young to understand whats going on. I can only imagine what my little brothers are going through right now. My mom has smartened up a bit - stopped partying, still doing hard drugs - just not that much anymore. I don't care about her though - it's just me and my grandma taking care of the kids now. I remember I had to grow up pretty quickly when I was a child, taking care of my siblings and taking time off school to work when my dad or grandma couldn't, I knew they were too sick to work so sometimes I had to take action myself and grow up. On wednesday I saw his body. I kissed his left hand and his forehead multiple times, said goodbye and "i love you daddy." We're all struggling very hard, struggling to keep strong. The hospital told us nothing but good things, but in reality he was getting worse and leaving us. Even though I know that there's a life after death I can't help but cry because he's left us, hes moved on. I know it's grief. I apologize if any of my writing has any mistakes. I had to write this quickly, my laptops dying.

My dad passed away 12 days after my 18th birthday, and 17 days after his 41st birthday.
His dad died when he was 40.
The wake ceremony started on wednesday and will end on monday.
His funerals on monday.
Thank you for reading his story.


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## silentsurvivor

This is one photo of me and my dad.
Rest in peace, dad.


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## ronroush7

Emily, I am so so sorry for your loss.  Prayers for your whole family.


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## Linda M.

ronroush7 said:


> Emily, I am so so sorry for your loss.  Prayers for your whole family.


That's so sad . I'm praying for you to be comforted by our Mighty God. I pray for peace for you. God will never leave or forsake you. You are never alone with God.


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## ronroush7

Linda M. said:


> That's so sad . I'm praying for you to be comforted by our Mighty God. I pray for peace for you. God will never leave or forsake you. You are never alone with God.


Amen


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## Catherine

So sorry for your loss


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## Eridon2002

Emily-my deepest sympathies.  Take comfort in knowing that he is never truly gone when you carry with you his memories and love. :heart:


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## happy

Dear Emily,
My condolences on the loss of your father. I am so sorry that you had to witness his pain and struggle at the end of his time. Thank you so much for letting the forum know about your dad. May you find comfort and support from the healthy leaders in your community as you grieve your dad's loss and while you care for your younger siblings. 

We have a "Candle Room" on the forum. Perhaps you would like to visit it and place a notice about your dad there.


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## Linda M.

Emily,I hope you are moving through your grief. I'm sorry for your loss. May our Lord comfort you and give you peace.


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## ronroush7

Linda M. said:


> Emily,I hope you are moving through your grief. I'm sorry for your loss. May our Lord comfort you and give you peace.


Agree


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## Allison

Linda M. said:


> Emily,I hope you are moving through your grief. I'm sorry for your loss. May our Lord comfort you and give you peace.


In agreement also.  

Emily, I was so sorry to hear of your father's passing.  My own precious father passed away unexpectedly last month, so I have been grieving too.  I started following this "Painful Story" thread a couple of years ago and your dad is the one person I've kept up with on the Crohn's Forum.  My heart went out to him for all the pain and suffering he experienced, and it made me cry to read of his death.  He surely loved his children and was he so proud of you all!   

Praying for your family as you adjust to life without him.  As a Christian, God is sustaining me through this loss of my own daddy.  PM me if you ever need to talk.

:hug:


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## SharonLBach

This man's story, NATIVESITH, is so very upsetting in so many ways. I have lived with crohn's for nearly 46 years and I have had all the stress of the test, doctor's, nurses, etc. but this man's life is so very sad. My heart aches for him and his family.


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