15 year old with CD
- Thread starter Rosie123
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HI Rosie Welcome! :bigwave: I am a crohnie with a daughter in University and is like you she must be a 90's plus student, and her social life is scarce because of her studies. She had suffered burn out as well. Now for you , we all know that health comes first!! It is your life and your body and you have to treat it well so you can have a better life. Stress does make your crohns worse, and having studying at home could help you, your social life could be better and more often because you are not flaring. Your real friends will stick by you.
I have no experience of a father like yours but I have had relationships like your father and they hate their life disrupted, and he is not in your best interest to be around if it causes you anguish. You are young and you have alot of time to grow physically , and mentally. HE is not your problem he is the ground up.
Are you on any meds now? If start to flare, stick to ensure or boost so at least you dont lose nutrition or calories. We are here to help you, ask any questions, we will share how we can make you feel more comfortable. :hang:
I have no experience of a father like yours but I have had relationships like your father and they hate their life disrupted, and he is not in your best interest to be around if it causes you anguish. You are young and you have alot of time to grow physically , and mentally. HE is not your problem he is the ground up.
Are you on any meds now? If start to flare, stick to ensure or boost so at least you dont lose nutrition or calories. We are here to help you, ask any questions, we will share how we can make you feel more comfortable. :hang:
I am so sorry you are going through this. You are very mature in your analysis and therefore may want to either enlist the help of your mother to play interference and help you avoid meals with your father. Your health is too important to jeopardize that. I had a similar situation in my youth and while he was not diagnosed as a psycho, actions spoke louder than words. I would literally make sure I would leave the house when he was in it, or at the very least leave the room. I found that if I had at least one "date night" with myself where I would figure out what helped calm me, life was easier. I always recommend that to friends and family alike. Whether it was putting on candles in my room and meditating, or reading a book and having a bath with candles; whatever worked, I knew I had to learn to unwind and relieve stress. I would suggest you do the same.
It may be an idea to let your dad know you need some time apart to sort through things. Perhaps you can get someone to talk to do get through this and help you set goals (i.e., one week without throwing up after a meal, etc...). Baby steps and accomplishments can help you move forward with less stress.
I realized at an early age that I would more or less become my own parent and I got great strength from pushing myself and setting goals, getting mentors of elders around me (teachers, bosses, etc.) who can help me focus on what is important.
When you are in school, your focus should be on education, not social, so social education can occur after school, if that important to your parents. If you feel you can focus best at home then perhaps work on that goal and help yourself heal. Perhaps join some school social activity during the week, so that can solve your mother's concern for social interaction. However, you can also advise her that you are there for an education and the social interaction can happen after school. Can't argue with that.
You will have down days, but do not let yourself stay down. Read motivational books, keep yourself positive. That is the only way you can get out of that funk. When I was young I realized the reason I was in an unhealthy environment was to learn from it and create a healthy life for myself. Perhaps you can do something similar? Stay positive! You are the BEST advocate for yourself!
Keep us posted!
It may be an idea to let your dad know you need some time apart to sort through things. Perhaps you can get someone to talk to do get through this and help you set goals (i.e., one week without throwing up after a meal, etc...). Baby steps and accomplishments can help you move forward with less stress.
I realized at an early age that I would more or less become my own parent and I got great strength from pushing myself and setting goals, getting mentors of elders around me (teachers, bosses, etc.) who can help me focus on what is important.
When you are in school, your focus should be on education, not social, so social education can occur after school, if that important to your parents. If you feel you can focus best at home then perhaps work on that goal and help yourself heal. Perhaps join some school social activity during the week, so that can solve your mother's concern for social interaction. However, you can also advise her that you are there for an education and the social interaction can happen after school. Can't argue with that.
You will have down days, but do not let yourself stay down. Read motivational books, keep yourself positive. That is the only way you can get out of that funk. When I was young I realized the reason I was in an unhealthy environment was to learn from it and create a healthy life for myself. Perhaps you can do something similar? Stay positive! You are the BEST advocate for yourself!
Keep us posted!
Hiya Rosie. It is tough balancing school and stress and friends and family, which is partly why my social life has gone down the drain.
About online school: I have a friend who like you, finally got diagnosed with a chronic disease halfway through high school and switched to online school, and she got a degree and is in a good university now. It could be something to consider! As for the social deprivation it would bring, I don't know how that would affect you so that's a factor too. I'm an introvert and wouldn't mind it, personally but it does depend on the person. She was happy at home and I think it was relaxing and good for her when she was diagnosed to not be under the pressure of arriving at school every day and having to put on a happy face to everyone all day long when she was sick.
I admire you for what you deal with, with your dad. You must be a really strong person for all the pain he has put you and your family through. You are juggling a lot, and I think it's reasonable to try homeschooling if it's all getting to be too much.
Also, I'm glad to hear that you are close to remission! Keep felling better and hang in there, hopefully things will fall into place
About online school: I have a friend who like you, finally got diagnosed with a chronic disease halfway through high school and switched to online school, and she got a degree and is in a good university now. It could be something to consider! As for the social deprivation it would bring, I don't know how that would affect you so that's a factor too. I'm an introvert and wouldn't mind it, personally but it does depend on the person. She was happy at home and I think it was relaxing and good for her when she was diagnosed to not be under the pressure of arriving at school every day and having to put on a happy face to everyone all day long when she was sick.
I admire you for what you deal with, with your dad. You must be a really strong person for all the pain he has put you and your family through. You are juggling a lot, and I think it's reasonable to try homeschooling if it's all getting to be too much.
Also, I'm glad to hear that you are close to remission! Keep felling better and hang in there, hopefully things will fall into place
Angrybird
Moderator
Hello Rosie and :welcome: I have not had the same experience you have had with your dad (in fact I didn't even speak a word to mine for a good 10yrs) but I must say from reading your thread that you clearly a good head on your shoulders. You must do what you feel is best for you, obviously with home schooling you are not in a classroom full of other people to interact with (although based on my school experience that may not be a bad thing!) but there are other ways to socialize IF and when you want to. I think Mikey's suggestion is an excellent one and could be a real benefit to many of us. Don't worry about having pitty party moments, many of us do and it is the nature of what we deal with on a daily basis. One thing I would ask is have your docs done any up to date vitamin checks on you? It is very common for us chronies to be deficient in stuff like vitamin B12 and D and if these are low it could explain in part your fatigue. I hope things continue to head in the right direction with regards to getting into remission and please keep us updated.
