Crohn's Disease is depressing me

[MrCrohn]

OK - so I don't post much, but here we go....

I am getting worried about life as it is.. not feeling so good physically. This disease has limited my life in countless ways. I cannot travel, hard to do physical activities, seems like I can't eat anything anymore. Plus, seems like a flare up brings about depression and anxiety w/ it too. I am not sure how it really works - there must be a chemical or biological explantion to it, but sometimes it seems like even a trip to be bathroom can relieve an episode of anxiety or depression.

I am so thankfull to have a wife and kid. My wife supports me as much as she can. Sometimes it is hard for her to relate though. I fear that I won't be able to be there for her and the kid because of this disease. I get used to plan everything out and be sure that I am always in control, then I realize it's impossible to always be in control. What will I do when my little one needs me NOW? How will I handle being away from home? What if there is nothing that I can eat? How will I do w/ an anxiety attack? a bout of depression>? What happens if I can't get my meds for some reason?? It sounds crazy to me that most people don't have to think about these things! Never crossess their mind.

I will keep on searching for what makes me feel better. I have to get back to doing some physicall activities. There are a few alternative treatments I am looking into as well. But sometimes, it is so depressing to realize, that I will never be normal. I will never be able to "take off" to Europe, or have a few slices of pizza, or train for a marathon, or party and drink all night. I will always be a little worried about a flare, never quite let my self go w/o thinking of the consequences. This load is heavy sometimes...

Thanks for reading
k

 

[seaofdreams]

You've pretty much written out every thought I've ever had since being diagnosed. I hate that I can't be spontaneous and every little thing has to be planned.

Try to focus on the things you CAN do, rather than the things you're worried that you can't do. You can probably do most, if not all of the things people without Crohn's can do. Sure, it takes a little more effort and planning but "normality" is more than achievable.

Anxiety and depression unfortunately walks hand in hand with chronic disease and inflammation. Having someone you can talk to about it, a friend, family member or a professional can help immensely.

Hang in there and try to stay positive. I know it's difficult but it helps a lot

 

[MrCrohn]

thanks sea! BTW - just added you on facebook (my initials are KC)

And I AM in therapy for many years, in which a big part of is the Crohn's. I guess there are worse conditions out there. Heck, kids in third world countries are dying of Malaria, AIDS, and starvation before they reach their 5th birthday (let alone have online access to post on a forum).
But sometimes the Crohn's just gets to me. Sometimes it is just not enough to consciously remind yourslef that just by being born in a westernized country w/ clean water and MTV, you're one of the lucky ones (ironically, most undeveloped countries have much less IBD cases, sometimes non at all...).

I will make it another day. I will live through the anxiety and depression, and stop feeling pitty. Maybe even one day I will figure this all out. And maybe just maaaaaaybe, one day a cure will be DisCovered.

k

 

[Crohn's 35]

You've pretty much written out every thought I've ever had since being diagnosed. I hate that I can't be spontaneous and every little thing has to be planned.

Try to focus on the things you CAN do, rather than the things you're worried that you can't do. You can probably do most, if not all of the things people without Crohn's can do. Sure, it takes a little more effort and planning but "normality" is more than achievable.

Anxiety and depression unfortunately walks hand in hand with chronic disease and inflammation. Having someone you can talk to about it, a friend, family member or a professional can help immensely.

Hang in there and try to stay positive. I know it's difficult but it helps a lot

This is what I was going to say as well. We all feel that way from time to time, I dont focus on what I can't do, it is pointless and creates stress and misery around you. You do have to focus somewhat on your disease to keep it under control, how ever that may be. I have my days and missed trips but I go go go when I can, take it each day and keep busy. It is hard on spouses too, so you have to be strong so you can be there for your family. Children adjust, mine did, she was 4 when all hell broke loose, and I am sure it scared her but she is now heading for Medical School and is a very compassionate person. Kids are resilient, they will become good kids when they get older and understand. My heart goes out to you and your family. :hang:

 

[MrCrohn]

Thanks Pen