Feeling depressed feels like its always somthing else

[giftedbyadoption]

I always feel like its wet around my stoma and I have checked and checked AGAIN and its no leaking I have a 2 piece on and there are no leaks my skin was almost perfect this change this morning so it was not leaking yesterday either.

It shouldn't be the stoma cause they say there is no feeling in it and that appears to be correct??

I have had a discharge since surgery ( SORRY TMI) and its now to the point I need pads ugh.... I am not sure if its urine or female or coming from my rectum it appears to be getting darker now and some times its a LOT.... not to be gross but it doesn't smell strong like urine though so I dont think it is that.

I wish they would have just taken my rectum and closed me up then I wouldnt have the pain and chance of problems there
If I start leaking there to and have a bag this is just depressing how can I feel attractive enough to be intimate with my husband first a bag now a big old pad :thumbdown::yfrown:
Sorry to complain I am trying to keep my head up and it just seems like then something else happens.

I am also 80% sure I am getting a hernia I am only 7 weeks post-op my husband looked this morning when I changed and said it defiantly changed sighhh....
I am still so tired from the surgery and hurt from not having my treatments so this is just weighing on me.

 

[mickey]

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time. The sun will come out soon; promise!

 

[Jennifer]

Discharge is never tmi, unfortunately I don't have much information in the stoma realm. As for the sex life, maybe you could just do an old fashioned (if you're up to it, not rush there) until you get things figured out (at least down there to know where the leaking is coming from. Dunno if its normal after surgery or if you're dealing with something serious).

 

[Nyx]

As long as you have a rectal stump you'll have discharge. It's just mucous, and it will slow down. Don't worry about it too much.

 

[Jennifer]

Hey Nyx, why do they leave the stump and why the mucus? Feels like the dumbest questions I've ever asked on this forum but I must know.

 

[KazT17]

Hi Crabby,

They leave the stump because it is a big op. I was told most surgeons don't like to do a colectomy, major gastro surgery, and the proctectomy, major pelvic surgery, at the same time.

Also, if there is a chance for reversal or a j-pouch, they leave the stump.

I have been trying to have the proctectomy since last year. It was cancelled before xmas and then again last week - was due to have the op on 1st March. Back to waiting for a date again!!!!!!

My surgeon says he needs a full day for this op.

I know is can all be done in one hit, a panproctocolectomy, I wish now I had been able to have this.

Kaz xxx

 

[Samboi]

I'm so sorry you're feeling down Lizz. I really empathize.
It's a real bloody struggle with the bag some days.
Healing and getting the hang of it takes so long.
I've gone back to living one day at a time - just to get through it.
I hope things get better for you.
I know you've given me some great advice and made me feel better about things.
I wish I could do the same for you.
Six months from now - we'll be in our respective hot tubs on opposite sides of the world, with scant memories of our current troubles. Doling out sage advice to those going through what we are going through now.
Just gotta get there. One day at a time.

 

[KazT17]

Ahh guys, I have been reading your posts. I was so similar after my op last may. I had almost forgotten - I remember a time when I couldn't bear the bag on my skin and I would sit with cotton wool packed around the stoma.

Looking back I never would have thought I would be in the great position I am in now.

Samboi, you are so right to stay positive. Someone told me to give myself at least a year, and he was right. I hear some people saying you could be back to work in 6-8 weeks - but in my case this was impossible.

Take one day at a time and you will get there.

GiftedBy - your story could be mine last year - even to the hernia. But it all resolved.

You will be looking on line for the sexy waistbands before you know it - your hubby will love them

Try to relax and enjoy the summer and allow time to heal.

Love Kaz xxx

 

[giftedbyadoption]

Thanks....
Kaz: did you have the hernia or just though so??...

As for the STUMP lol...
NO reversal possible with me less then a inch of colon left and I will not reconnect to the small intentions and poo 20 times a day and have accidents. My stump was kept because your colon is what produces and hold water and help hydrate you and that 1 inch they said would help slightly so they kept it ugh...

As for discharge I heard I would have to push some out now and then and I have 2-3 times since surgery .... but just losing some WHY would that happen?
YUCK and is it 4ever ??

 

[Nyx]

I have mucous every day - pretty much every time I go to the washroom to pee. Right after surgery there's usually some leftover feces in your system that you need to expel. But after that it should just be mucous.

 

[Misty-Eyed]

I sometimes get paranoid that I've had a leak when I feel something cold or moving near my bag. It's usually a cord or ribbon on my pj bottoms though! I think it's normal to be paranoid after you've had a period of leaks till you get your confidence back.

In regards to the discharge.. It's not exactly all joyness and light having your rectum removed. I've had a lot of discharge ever since the day of my op which was 5 month ago. My rectum took a bit of my vagine with it which created a hole and I've had discharge and blood from both bits ever since! I still have a hole where my anus is. I have to wear a pad every day and my bf won't have sex with me because it bleeds and it hurt a little and he doesn't want to make it worse. Saying that, I'm glad my rectum is gone because in the long term it'll be better.

Sorry you're not doing well. Hopefully things shall pick up for you soon! Try not to let it get you down. Keep smiling!

 

[KazT17]

Yes, my 'hernia' was more of a post op swelling in the end. Either that or wearing a hernia belt, as soon as it was a suspected hernia, stopped it from developing. It still swells now and again.

The mucus/blood hasn't stopped for me and I know there are alsorts of risks, especially for us Crohnies, with regard to having the proctectomy. However, I am going for it anyway. It is still diseased (Crohns) according to my doc and then there is the increased risk of cancer etc.

I don't understand about the inch of colon they have left being able to absorb water, as nothing is passing through it?

I am not sure how to post a link (I will have a go), but have a look at these belts:
http://www.stomaatje.com/clothing.html#belt


Love Kaz xxx

 

[giftedbyadoption]

Yes, my 'hernia' was more of a post op swelling in the end. Either that or wearing a hernia belt, as soon as it was a suspected hernia, stopped it from developing. It still swells now and again.

The mucus/blood hasn't stopped for me and I know there are alsorts of risks, especially for us Crohnies, with regard to having the proctectomy. However, I am going for it anyway. It is still diseased (Crohns) according to my doc and then there is the increased risk of cancer etc.

I don't understand about the inch of colon they have left being able to absorb water, as nothing is passing through it?

I am not sure how to post a link (I will have a go), but have a look at these belts:
http://www.stomaatje.com/clothing.html#belt


Love Kaz xxx

Oh believe me stuff passes through it I have to empty at least every other week ... the water and what ever its called lol.... its not like poo or food tho but its there when your rectum is not taken you always have about a inch there not sure why since I am not a surgeon
I have a specialized order Stealth belt coming and wear another belt while waiting for one, but if I have a hernia it wont stop growing they dont STOP they just keep getting larger and larger until you have to have them repaired so hop-fully its not and I am just so thin it looks like one?
Misty eyes thats terrible about your Vigina....
But I know what you mean I am a mess there anyway from my hysterectomy in 1996 I guess thats why pads irritate me I lost my uterus in 96 my ovaries in 2008 its like come on all this freakin surgery and NOW pads too

Trying to keep positive but after being sick all 42 years of my live not being able to eat for 8 months almost dieing and then everything still being a mess, hubby wants sex and I am like stay away from me will ya lol....

sorry for venting ladys
Love you ALL

 

[littlefreebird]

i'm 8 months post op. i had rectum and anus removed too but the skin was so bad down there that the peri-anal wound re-opened slightly and i was having traces of mucous no and again but not a large amount. as for intimacy, sex was really painful until about a month ago- probably due to my recto-vaginal fistula.

healing is such a slow process, mentally you're ready, physically thats not the case. i know how you feel, i was putting so much pressure on myself to heal for my partner and for my family, give yourself more time.

i hope everything is ok soon!
hannah.x

 

[giftedbyadoption]

i'm 8 months post op. i had rectum and anus removed too but the skin was so bad down there that the peri-anal wound re-opened slightly and i was having traces of mucous no and again but not a large amount. as for intimacy, sex was really painful until about a month ago- probably due to my recto-vaginal fistula.

healing is such a slow process, mentally you're ready, physically thats not the case. i know how you feel, i was putting so much pressure on myself to heal for my partner and for my family, give yourself more time.

i hope everything is ok soon!
hannah.x

Thanks sweetie... and I am 22 years older then you :sign0085: I may heal in 5 years ha..ha...