Does anyone out there ever feel guilty for being sick and wanting to just rest a lot of the time. I know it is not my fault that I have CD, but sometimes I feel so guilty for sleeping or resting rather than doing things with my daughter and husband. Lately, my crohn's has been so up and down that we will plan things and I end up cancelling due to not feeling well. I run a Home Daycare and, often, I get through the day and then just crash at night, leaving my husband to do everything for our daughter. Usually, he is great about it, but then I will hear little comments about always being sick and sleeping all the time and how we get stuck around the house and I start feeling guilty and depressed all over again. This week has been the worst for my crohn's and I am getting frustrated and so is my hubby. We separated for three months and were only back together a month before I was diagnosed and I'm worried that he won't be able to handle the ups and downs. He says he can so I will have to trust him, but I can't help feeling guilty.
Feeling Guilty
- Thread starter BrendaJ
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Hey Brenda we all feel guilty at one time or another, and that is just a normal mom. My husband is a big supporter and without him I couldnt be as well as I am. I have my ups and downs but I do what I can and not worry because worrying is stress and stress aggrivates the gut... a continuous cycle. Do you have family around who can help?
I do have to say it is hard to deal with an every day marriage let alone deal with an unpredictable and debilitating disease. No one can understand how you feel unless they have the stomach virus or appendicitis attacks. It is your life too and you have to look after yourself. Take care, try not to fret ok? :hang:
I do have to say it is hard to deal with an every day marriage let alone deal with an unpredictable and debilitating disease. No one can understand how you feel unless they have the stomach virus or appendicitis attacks. It is your life too and you have to look after yourself. Take care, try not to fret ok? :hang:
Thanks for the encouragement. I do have family around and my brother actually has Crohn's, as well, but I am not that close with them and my parents passed away many years ago. I find many people around me just write me off, because I can't always do things when I'm feeling lousy. My husband is my biggest support, but I understand that he can get frustrated too!
Taking care of myself is a little harder to get used to now. I have ran my daycare for 11 years and until all the crohn's symptoms started showing up, I think I took maybe three sick days in all those years. I would work at all times, because I did not want to let anyone down. I am having a hard time changing that type of thinking. And, unfortunately, I do not have any help in my daycare. It is all up to me, because it is not financially worth it to pay someone else.
Taking care of myself is a little harder to get used to now. I have ran my daycare for 11 years and until all the crohn's symptoms started showing up, I think I took maybe three sick days in all those years. I would work at all times, because I did not want to let anyone down. I am having a hard time changing that type of thinking. And, unfortunately, I do not have any help in my daycare. It is all up to me, because it is not financially worth it to pay someone else.
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I can definitley understand where you are coming from. I am a speacial education Paraprofessional for 10-11 grade students kicked out of high school for fighting, weapons ect...We have 4 beautiful children that are very active: our daughter competitively ice skates, we coach the boys 2 soccer teams and when T-ball/softball season comes we're out on that field too, and lots of times I feel like just giving up because I am so tired and exhausted. some days I just get home and want to get a bath lay on the bed and pass out. My husband is great picking up the slack but he will also make a comment now and agian like "you're always sick" if I say I just don't fell good today or "You never feel good" which agitates me bc most of the time Igo and go and go. So I think it is understandable to be tired and exhausted but i definitley understand the guilty feeling and no matter how hard you try and not feel guilty it gets worse, so all I can say is take it day by day and on the days you're not exhausted, spend extra time with your daughter and husband and just make every minute special that you can, thats what I do. Hope this helps a bit.
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I don't find my husband to be very supportive. I think he comes from the school that you should think yourself healthy. When I discuss my issues, I generally get no response. So I try to keep things to myself, which is very hard for me as I feel it necessary to share. I kinda think he is just not comfortable with it, but he hasn't said so exactly. I was diagnosed in 2001 and went through many yrs previously trying to figure out what was going on, at which point I figured he probably decided I was a hypochondriac! I love him in spite of himself, but sometimes I think, "God, if you knew you were going to give me a disease, don't you think it would have been nice to have a supportive mate to go along with it?" and then maybe its part of my lessons to learn...how to deal!!!! I am fatigued alot and find everyday chores very taxing, which I have to manage AFTER I get home from work!, Thank God my kids are grown.
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Hey there : )
I too feel guilty and even don't even know whats wrong with me yet! Its frustrating b/c I don't have a "reason" aka diagnosis. Hope I find out soon. ( I have an apt with a GI doc in a week and a half) Most of the time my hubby is understanding and even sympathetic but other times he makes comments about how much I sleep or if the house is a mess : ( Then i question myself..."am I just lazy?" Then I remind myself, I was a single mother for 5 yrs, worked two jobs and put myself through school, I had twice the energy then than I do now, I am not a lazy person!
I too feel guilty and even don't even know whats wrong with me yet! Its frustrating b/c I don't have a "reason" aka diagnosis. Hope I find out soon. ( I have an apt with a GI doc in a week and a half) Most of the time my hubby is understanding and even sympathetic but other times he makes comments about how much I sleep or if the house is a mess : ( Then i question myself..."am I just lazy?" Then I remind myself, I was a single mother for 5 yrs, worked two jobs and put myself through school, I had twice the energy then than I do now, I am not a lazy person!
