How do I cope?

[teebreeandtay]

Hello my name is Trina. I was diagnosed with crohns in March of '94 so its coming up on 15yrs. While pregnant with my 1st child I began to feel severe stomach pains that didn't seem to relate to pregnancy. After about a month of tests they finally came up with crohn. I have had severe bouts with this disease including uvitis,skin lesions, rv fistula, strictures, depression and 2 surgeries including the last an ileostomy. This was the hardest decision but my quality of life was at stake. My decision to have that surgery has cost me more than just a colon. It cost me a relationship. I have had some complications from that surgery that include vaginal bleeding non stop for a year since then. Because it also came with a yucky smell I have been reluctant to be intimate with my mate and slipped into a deep depression that put a wedge between us that has lead to us breaking up. Now I am all alone with two children ages 14yr and 16months. Of course I am scared to even think about starting a new relationship. What man will want me with this unsexy bag. What do I do??
I'm very lonely

 

[Mark33180]

I was in the basic situation with you not long ago, I was in college 22 yr old man and dating was tough because i had the worry about what they would think about me having the ileostomy bag and how it would effect my dating life. Well i got lucky because when we were hanging out she brushed by it or something and knew what it was but waited for me to say something, She didn't care because she like me for who i was not the outward image problems. We were intimate and it wasn't a problem. If you find yourself being self concious about it one thing you can do it go to the store and get some of that brown self adhesive wrap stuff. kinda the stuff you use for strains or sprains. and just wrap it around your belly when it comes time to be intimate. i just used ducktape hahahaha taped the bag to my skin and no problems..... kept it out the way incase things got really hot and heavy. So i hope this helps give you a little more confidence and helps out some.

 

[jed]

so sorry to hear about the hard times Trina.

but welcome to the forums!