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Sparky

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Sep 16, 2008
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Forgive me, I know this has been said recently but I can't remember where I saw it (it was the post that made me start posting!)

My SIL said the other day that she 'could do with a bit of chrohns, to shift some weight' :ymad:

Okaaaay, you want chronic trots, pain, anxiety when eating away from home so that you can lose some weight without 'trying' :yrolleyes: Oh, and the 'skinny cow' comments hurt, btw, they're not compliments (I'm 5'8", 124 lbs - very slim, but just about within the normal limits)

So after I stopped seething ( and dh slapped her down verbally beautifully, what a guy :D) I thought about the positives (took a while, admittedly :))

I have butt cheeks no gym could achieve through 5 years of clenching 'just in case'
I love my food - I'm an all or nothing girl, so when I can eat, I really enjoy it
I'm exceptionally well read - all the time on the loo has been spent productively
I'm a Zelda expert - well, you can't read all the time can you, my DS is a Godsend
I can clear a room with a well timed expulsion of wind (OK, not so sure that's a positive, but look at it from a 'Heroes', previously untapped super power kind of mindset)

Long day, hacked off with thoughtless comments, and needed a little levity/positivity :)
 
I definitely agree about the reading. I go through tons of stuff. I've almost finished Pride and Prejudice in three days of toilet trips. I might give War and Peace a shot next.
 
there have been a few threads about comments on wanting to have crohns to lose weight.

if they have offended you with there comment, then i say offend them them back, but do it with quiet sarcasm...

yeah, i suppose its one good thing about this disease, i mean look at me, my figure is amazing! it must be hard for people like you to get a body like this, do you need to watch what you eat?

please note, i have nothing against larger people, but if someone offends me, i'll try use something they've said to me against them, oopsie!
 
I think people often mean well, they just don't know what to say, so it comes out stupid. A friend of my mom was having a hysterectomy a few weeks after my mom had surgery and was dx with stage three ovarian cancer. This lady had a small tumor on her ovaries that they had been watching for some time. Before she went in, (but after my mom had hers), she says TO MY MOTHER; "I hope my prognosis isn't as bad as YOURS" Ay yi yi.
 
kev, i hope you read it first.
pen, i dont have a ar**hole!!!
sparky, people are ignorant of our illness, but on the other hand we may not understand some other illnesses. so if you explain our illness they MAY be less hurtful next time. regards sharon x
 
ZELDA! (calming down now)

I can only read when I'm not in so much pain/anguish, BM's are about the most painful aspect of Crohns for me, and my mind doesn't have the capacity to follow through paragraphs if I'm doing badly. When I was at my worst, and I can't be the only one with this problem from what I read here, I had to take big long breaths in and out to stave off the severe nausea, and severe nausea creates excess saliva, so I would have drooled all over anything I read. Still it worked, never once vomited from this disease.
 
Well, I not sure of the author.. but it left quite an impression on me.. problem is, even if I drop trousers, bend way over, and use a mirror.. the print is reversed and too fine for me to read
 
People are stupid with their comments.
"I need to catch some of that!", they say - so they can lose weight.
The nurse at the GI office even said something like that once to me.

Well, I'm stupid too. I was at a birthday party yesterday, and a cousin-in-law has Crohn's. One of her relatives asked me how she was doing, and I said "Well, she looks good." STOOPID answer! I look great right now, but am not doing well at all. Luckily I realized how dumb that answer was right away, and corrected it - but still...
We all say dumb things (some more than others).
 
I have had afew people make some comments that seemed inappropriate...when someone I work with found out I had Crohn's they said, 'if you get another auto immune disease your screwed'. I thought that was a little insensitive...anyways, how do you (the forum) explain what Crohn's is to people if you choose to tell them you have it?
 
Well, I've used some very loose, overly generalized analogies, just to try to convey a general picture.. a mental image.. of my understanding of my disease..

For example, I liken my disease to a form of leprosy, except the damage is inside, where it can't be seen. To try to get folks to visualize colon inflamation, I compare it to say a sunburn running up N down the lengths of both arms. Its approx the same length N physical dimensions. I tell them to picture their arms burnt.. varying degrees, varying severity.. in some spots, no burning at all, in others so bad there are huge blisters.. liquid filled sacks.. burnt so bad in spots the skin has thickened.. bled.. etc.. And that food passing thru the colon is like someone grasping these burnt arms in a tight grip and is slowly moving down them.. that to explain the pain.. Or meds like 5-ASA'a as mere cream applied to a sunburn.. temporary relief, but nothing more in reality that a bandaid. That it doesn't 'cure' the burn. Its not scientific, its not a great analogy, but I think it gives folks some idea.. And then, to cover resection, I ask them to picture one arm or the other minus a foot N and a half. I think it gives them some idea of what it could be like for them to deal with.
 
i always say that crohn's is an autoimmune disease that causes inflammation, mostly in the intestines, but that it can cause a lot of other problems too, like with the joints and the skin. whatever can steer the conversation away from my bowel habits!
 
My sister is usually the one to pull out insensitive comments and they are directed towards my eating habits. The back story to it is because she was rather heavy, about 220 on a 5'1" frame after 2 kids. Rather then opting for surgery she worked her butt off *in the literal sense* and between exercise and diet was able to get down to 115 pounds. Now though, because of that she finds herself quit the health guru. So if she finds me eating say a candy bar I get chided because of the fat content, and no matter how much explaining I do about the need for more protein, fat, etc in my diet and the fact that while I'm still a bit overweight *right now* that I could quickly go downhill and weight 155 like I did last fall, so it doesn't hurt to pack a few extra pounds, it doesn't connect with her so I just try and avoid eating around her anymore =)

I just explain to people that its an auto-immune disorder like MS or Lupus but that it affects the intestines causing inflammation that causes flu like symptoms and pain and problems with absorbing nutrients from food properly.
 
The most annoying comments that I get are people teasing me with food I can't eat. Someone will offer me something they know I can't eat, then say something like "Aww, that's right, you can't have any!" and laugh. And it's not just one person, I've had this sort of thing said to me by a few people. The people who do it, say it all the time. If I didn't laugh the first time, chances are I'm still not going to find it funny the 100th time.
 
Okay, so no one has mentioned this but I hate when someone says "Oh, my friend/cousin/sister has a sensitive stomach and it helps her to _____." Whether its exercise, avoid dairy, take xyz supplements, whatever. I always want to be like, "OH. Thank God. The secret cure for Crohn's disease that no one's ever mentioned to me...god i'm so stupid for not trying that." Another alternative construction is "Have you tried..." or "Couldn't you just..." Mind you, I almost never get this from people who are close to me...they know exactly what I've done and how sick I am. This is always from relative strangers whenever Crohns comes up for a random reason.

Drives me nuts (especially this year since I've been flaring so long).

I've surprisingly never gotten the whole "weight loss" thing from anyone (except my Mom, and i know she's just being sarcastic/black humor.)
 
Creepy Lurker:

I know you may have been kidding, but do read War and Peace! It was my summer reading assignment and I was very pleasantly surprised, it's a superb and beautiful book. It definitely made my list of my favorite books of all time. Just make sure you get the Volkhonsky/Pevear translation, it's exceptionally well done. It's one of those books everyone should read. http://www.amazon.com/War-Peace-Leo...bs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1222028058&sr=8-1

Luckily, in the short time since my diagnosis, I haven't received too many of those "Oh, I wish I had Crohn's so I could lose weight!" comments, but what I hate almost as much is when people act excessively sorry for me, the whole "It must be so AWFUL what you go through!" Yes, Crohn's is horrible, but I don't feel limited by stuff like not being able to eat out at restaurants that often, or needing to be ultra-careful if I do. I mean, if something consistently makes you feel sick for long enough, you don't miss it.
 
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My slightly overweight SIL (nothing against size) made one, sarcastically, 'how do you stay so skinny'

I told her to try Ex-lax


Family can be very insensitive:(
 
talking of ex lax. my late husband was seriously pis**d of with all the kids banging n the door at halloween, so instead of chunks of chocolate he gave them chunks of ex-lax!!!!! lol regards sharon x
 
At the risk of being humourless...wouldn't it have been easier/kinder/less likely to cause pain to just ignore the kids?

Sorry, don't find giving ex-lax to kids funny.
 
merrywidow said:
talking of ex lax. my late husband was seriously pis**d of with all the kids banging n the door at halloween, so instead of chunks of chocolate he gave them chunks of ex-lax!!!!! lol regards sharon x
Click to expand...


Did he really do that? I would be furious if someone did that to my kids.
 
Yeah... that's why Halloween scares me these days... you can never trust what everyone is giving your kids. Sad... but true.
 
I can't believe some of the comments I get from the contracted-out company insurance nurse assigned to my case.

Apparently, a weekly letter from my family doctor confirming I have Crohn's Disease is required. I can't believe someone supposedly trained as a health care professional would say "well Mr. Go, you've had Crohn's Disease for many years now without a problem. Could there be something else (non-medical) you're not telling me?"
 
ladyB said:
johnny,
Sure, I can magically get everyone to become a compulsive liar...
Click to expand...

Well, what am I exactly supposed to do here? I respect my physician too much to have him dragged into this thing. Why would I waste his time?
 
I think, (seriously) that your doc may have dealt with things such as these before. Give him the benefit of the doubt and talk to him.
My GI and his nurse will help me with anything.
They have dealt with 'idiots' before, is what the nurse told me about employers.
Wishing you the best, let us know how it goes.
 
Thanks ladyB.

The whole situation is beyond stupid. I actually recieved a commendation from the company for going 10 -- TEN -- years without a sick day, and now there's the accusation of being a malingerer. This is what I'm fighting.
 
yes, my late husband did give the kids ex-lax. halloween isnt a fun festival like it is in america, its awful and has got out of hand. the kids throw eggs at your doors spray paint the cars and throw fireworks at the animals. for the past 4 years we put a sign on the door, stating that we dont particpate in haloween, this also has the local police forces number on it. ever year people (elderly) are terrfied of october 31st and i dont blame them, after all its only another way of begging for sweets, how can you send your kids out begging? regards sharon x
 
Our neighborhood has a great Halloween party everyone is out at the end of their driveways to give kids candy one house pops popcorn for everyone and the volunteer fire company gives out glow sticks to the kids and walk around the neighborhood making cars slow down and helping the kids cross the street. We never have any trouble with Halloween it is fun for the kids to get dressed up sorry yours isn't as much fun
 
Were the same kids who received ex lax the same ones who were egging and spray painting? What sort of investigation took place and what evidence was presented? Just trying to make a point I guess.
 
Hey guys... I got 2 irritating comments today... well she meant well... it just came out stupid

she said: "Its horrible to think about how you will always have to deal with this the rest of your life"

AND

"I know exactly what you are going through, my mom had something close to crohns disease"


I know she meant well... just came out stupid
 
Halloween in the UK isn't the same as in the US, but I certainly don't see it as sending my son out begging. He gets all dressed up, he's polite and excited, and he adores going door to door each year.

I cherry pick the houses he knocks at - anyone who has all their lights off we don't bother with, and for the most part he gets met with people who are happy to indulge a child who's thrilled to be out after dark, in a costume, with his friends. I've yet to come across anyone here who wasn't charmed by a group of young children who are giddy with excitement.

I can understand that gangs of older kids must be threatening on Halloween, but I still think ex-lax is at the very least unkind. Thankfully, I go through the sweets that my boy gets and I throw away anything that isn't wrapped. merrywidow, I'm new to this forum and have no wish to fall out with anyone but I have to say, I'd hate to think that he'd be unlucky enough to end up with something like ex-lax through no fault of his own.
 
Well, kind of think the ex-lax is a bit over the top... but, to each their own. Could possibly be eligible for legal response... Anyway, the odd thing that struck me was (and its my twisted mind at work).. but can you picture the kids who got the ex-lax.. "You know, I went to the house of that lady with crohns, and I think that I caught it!" Can you imagine, word spreads like wildfire that IBD is contagious!! People will refuse to use the public bathrooms after we've been N gone (or is it went?) Hey, wait a minute.. that would work in our favour. We all should give out ex-lax for Hallo'ween... no more line ups at public washrooms EVER!
 
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I agree to each their own, I remember a local kid 3 doors down from my old house, he went out sometimes up to 3 times each year, on his own, very rapidly, in 3 different and distinct costumes...I could tell it was him, and my mother wouldn't give him candy on the proceding occasions of his attempts. A construction worker, and then he came back as a werewolf...all to double/triple his "earnings"...then as he got older, he and a buddy threw cherry bombs in neighbors gutters a few times. The kid ended up with law trouble several times before he turned eighteen, one time because he nearly burned down the forest behind our houses, playing with matches and whatnot, the cops hauled him away.

Just remember Merry, your own son, whether he goes out or not, could end up eating what he thought to be a nice piece of chocolate, only to have the same Crohns symptoms we all talk about. I understand your disgust with the local shenanigans, but I simply wonder if the kids who got the squirts were the ones who did any vandalism.
 
we always turn off the lights... no one ever comes by my house anyway. last year i took my little brother trick-or-treating in a neighborhood that is always generous with the candy. i had a UNICEF donation box and made 80 dollars. most people gave me candy too, so my brother got double the treats!
 
kev, my nieghbourhood dont know about me crohns or stoma.
and for the rest of you, read my posting correctly, my LATE husband gave the kids ex-lax, not me.
and why should i have to sit in the dark so as not to have my home covered in eggs?
last year i went out and did a firewalk, but still came home to water on my hallway. the "children" had put through our letterbox, and not just mine, everybodies letterbox that didnt open there door, so this year the letterbox will be nailed shut. regard sharon x
 

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