It's not the illness stopping from dating...it's the meds...

[Sea_Star]

When I was symptom-free, it's like I forgot I had anything wrong, but I still didn't date, because I'm 25 going on 12, never dated, and was scared to date/not ready. Even before my diagnosis at 20 (a month before my 21st) lol, I didn't date. Now that I want to, some cramps have crept back in forcing me to believe that maybe I DO need to be on medication...which honestly scares me. What if the meds create a cancer or illness in me? I feel like I'm cheating whoever I'm with, by being a "broken" package due to the meds...not the illness which is mild (thankfully, knock on wood). The meds are 10x worse it feels like, than the illness itself. It'd feel false to me. I know cancer can happen to anyone, but I feel like meds can potentially speed up the process. If you were dating someone who had to drink rat poison for an illness they had, would you continue? (Exagerrating of course lol) but....wouldn't ppl want a healthy partner??

 

[Axelfl3333]

I take and would take almost any of the meds without hesitation only one I can,t and it's once in a blue moon is movi-prep,the meds are not poison and negate or mostly the effects of a disease which will make your life truly horrible,stay away from dr google,try not to read the leaflets that are in the boxes only a tiny minority of people have side effects and let's be honest we all probably get more check ups and blood work done than we really want
The socialising dating thing is difficult with or without crohns but it's no reason to give up it's only a disease you can,t pass it on and a fairly large part of joe public are understanding and if you run across some one who isn't kick them to the curb.all of my friends close and casual know I have crohns it doesn't,t matter to them its part of me get used to it.your only 25 when feeling well get out there and play because you can guarantee no one knock on your door if you don,t.good luck all the best and keep well

 

[poopaholic]

Nobody is perfect. I wish I could find someone whos only fault is that they are on prescription medications, that are prescribed to them .

 

[InkyStinky]

Hi Sea Star! Actually, rat poison isn't an exaggeration - I'm on Warfarin b/c of my blood clot history, and Warfarin started as a rat poison.... :lol:

Anyway...

I've been on 6MP long term, and as it has me in remission I almost never think about the very slight cancer risk increase.

I listed to a CCFA webinar recently that I thought was an excellent overview of treatment options: "What's Best for Me" - you should be able to sign up to listen to the archive here: http://www.ccfa.org/resources/webcasts.html

At minute 34 of the webinar, Dr. Rubin addresses the slight risk increase for lymphoma with immunomodulators like 6MP. According to Dr. Rubin, the risk is 4 - 6 people out of 10,000; general population risk is 2 out of 10,000 (per year).

Seeing the numbers really helps me. The risk is "increased", yes, but still very rare.

So, here's how I see it: Uncontrolled Crohn's will further damage my body. Meds might contribute to developing "something else", but 6MP is preventing uncontrolled inflammation (that would otherwise for sure damage me).

Hope some of that helped you! :hug:

 

[Axelfl3333]

That's true by the way warfarin did start off as a rat poison!

 

[Momtotwo]

Sea_Star- I would suggest doing what makes YOU feel good on a daily basis and improving YOUR quality of life. Look at this way- how many people sunbathe? Their risk of cancer is increased. Would you refuse to date some who has a history of being in the sun without adequate sunscreen? How many people eat red meat regularly? Again- increased cancer risk. How many people have a relative with certain cancers than increase their personal risk?

I don't think the meds are worse than the disease for most people. Maybe those who have very mild disease.

Dating is difficult. I'm sorry anyone has to deal with Crohn's and UC,and I'm sure it does make it more challenging to date, etc. I hope for a cure every day.

 

[Cross-stitch gal]

My husband was the only one that I seriously dated. I was taking medications at the time & he saw me not only when I was well, but when I was sick. I was a bit nervous too, but I wanted to make sure he knew what he was getting before we got married. Of course, he was a bit nervous too because of being an airplane mechanic meaning that he'd already been in all kinds of chemicals & oils which could be very bad for him & his future children.

I waited to explain my situation until I knew that my relationship was permanent. My husband was thankful I did. It's not always easy sharing. But, I think I would wait to share and see what the person is like first. Hopefully this helps some. Good luck & take care. :hug: