Lack of self control with food while flaring

[McStew]

I'm constantly feeling guilty/sad/angry/annoyed/scared with myself. For the past 2-3 weeks, I have had a very mild flare, my main symptom is blood in my stool with a small bit of diarrhea - and no other major symptoms really. I'm trying not to get too anxious/stressed about this flare,but I feel that this is the time that I can either "make" or "break" it with this flare, meaning if I really watch my diet, that I can possibly get out of it because I'm not feeling too horrible (although this puts me under a lot of pressure to get better). The difficulty is that I just feel like I have absolutely no self-control when it comes to managing my diet.
1. I still feel confused about my whole diet. For months I was writing what I was eating - I couldn't really seem to identify any major foods except coffee that bothered me. I've been trying to reduce dairy and gluten in my diet for the past few months...mainly because these things seem to be hard to digest (although I'm not too successful at eliminating either). Just because I have blood in my stool, does that mean what I've eaten before that is causing havoc in my intestines, or is it just the disease? (I have been to a dietitian and even medical intuitive).
2. when I get stressed or anxious, I tend to eat, which is really really crap, particularly with this disease. I have been to counselling, I have been working on relaxation exercises, but it's almost like I'm eating foods because I want to "challenge" the fact that they won't make me ill, or that I can eat whatever I want (obviously denial).
3. I've discussed this with family, and they think I manage my diet okay and that I do the best I can considering the situations (i.e. going out to eat- which really stressed me out). I think this is obviously wrong, because I'm still eating things that I shouldn't. For example, I had like 6 large flapjacks yesterday, knowing the oats will probably be difficult to digest. Earlier this week I had loads of sausages, wedges, fried mushrooms, etc at the pub, even though I knew I shouldn't (although interestingly, this did not make things worse!). Any time I eat, I get anxious because I'm not sure if I should eat that: dairy, gluten, pepper, potato, dessert, fruit, chocolate, biscuit, crisps, etc. etc. My husband gets worried about me, as he sees this vicious cycle I am in. He tries to encourage me to eat well,but I know it ends in both of us being frustrated. I just feel like this is my fault and that I'm not doing the best I can to prevent this flare from getting worse. I try to be kind to myself, but it's hard to do this every single time I need (or want) to eat. I just feel like this is the biggest barrier for me,and I'm in this deep rut and don't know how to get out. Thanks for reading. Any ideas? Am I the only person who feels like this? What do you do to manage your flare when you start noticing symptoms?

 

[handle]

It's so hard trying to change your diet, especially when you are sick. If it wasn't for sheer pain (or issues of self image) I don't think anyone would bother! Don't feel bad.
I think worrying about eating makes things worse. Enjoy whatever crap or otherwise that you manage to chomp down. You never know when you might not be able to eat at all.
As far as practical suggestions to improve your diet, it is simple. Eat as much fresh and wholesome food as you can manage. Sadly, for most Crohns people that's a tall order. I have to eat a very bland low fiber diet with liquid nutrition when flaring...but when I can I really enjoy a morsel or two of wholesome food with fiber in it! I stopped eating meat a long time ago when the Crohns started but that's a personal choice that I enjoy. I try to avoid flavorings and chemicals, but don't stress over it.
Diet really is so personal with this illness. Eat whatever you feel like and change things slowly. It helps to read nutrition books but not to get too serious with it all.
Enjoy the journey... no need to swallow all the hype along with your yummy food.

 

[McStew]

Thank you Handle. I appreciate what you have said. It does make me feel better. Sometimes I wonder if I am just going crazy with this and it makes me more upset = not good = vicious cycle. I guess that's part of managing the illness. I do try to eat wholesome foods, and I will continue on that and try to focus on enjoying eating, instead of stressing about it. Really, I appreciate your kind words.

 

[Del]

Here is the issue....There is no direct cause as far as I am aware between diet and CD!
There may be certain foods we avoid when a flare comes along but it differs very much between us all.
Example...I can drink black coffee and have no problems..it seems to help me. Lots of people cant. I avoid dairy products mostly now...yet a yoghurt seems to be tolerated by me!! My main source of protein comes from tinned sardines and mackerel...boring but it works for me.

Bottom line McStew...learn to listen to what your body is telling you. Sounds difficult...not really..
After I run long runs (more then 15 miles) my body sometimes asks for the most ridicules foods. I could get a craving for toast and jam with a dash of soya sauce. Crazy... Pregnant women probably know what I am talking about!!
Try get in tune more with your body...and rely less on your brain for nutrients.
Difficult but not impossible....It will take some effort and breaking of some old eating habits..but it can be rewarding..
Take care and the best of luck

 

[McStew]

Thanks for replying Del. How do you know when a food really bothers you? For example, most times when I eat, I don't really think most foods really bother me - I say this because my stomach doesn't hurt after eating it, I feel more or less okay. If I get diarrhea after eating that food, then there's a sure sign something is wrong. When I'm in a flare, I'm not quite sure how to distinguish this. For example, for the past few weeks about 70% of my stools have had a little bit of blood in them. So does this mean the remaining 30% of time I've eaten and had no blood in my stools that whatever I ate before that didn't bother me? I guess I just feel somewhat responsible for continuing to be in this current flare because I'm not watching my diet as closely as I should be. I'm not sure if this makes sense?

 

[Del]

It makes sense as much as anything can make sense with this disease..
In my last flare up I had days when I had no blood passed in a BM, only for it to return the next day...http://www.everydayhealth.com/crohns-specialist/blood-in-the-stool.aspx

CD can be active or some what inactive (remission) at times and your diet can play a part but only up to a point. I keep a diary of what I eat and rule out certain foods if I feel the slightest bit off. One indication for me could be excessive gas, another could be very loud stomach rumblings. I also look at what was a bit dodgy for me BEFORE I was diagnosed with CD. Pay a little added concentration after you have eating something for any indication of upset...no matter how small.
Take care..

 

[Crohns08]

I actually believe there is a connection between food and crohn's. Think about it, no body really knew about crohn's except for what the recent decade? I think it's because of all the fast food and bad things that we ingest and over time it can make us predisposed to things like crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis. That being said I wouldn't ignore medications and just do diet changes. I'm really bad about my eating at times, but I do notice when I eat better I do feel better in combination with treatment. I think it's important for people to get out of a flare before they try to eat better otherwise you'll make things worse.

 

[tiloah]

I think if you are going to eat the food anyway, there's no reason to make yourself feel bad about it. It's okay for you to eat what you want, and you deserve to if it will make you feel better. Try not to be so hard on yourself or blame yourself. By stressing out about it you may be making yourself more sick.

I was told by a doctor that diet may make a difference in your symptoms, but not your disease process. Many people disagree with this, but as far as I am aware there is no conclusive evidence proving that what you eat will make your Crohn's worse.

I'm just saying try not to worry about it so much. Of course it's always a good idea to eat "well" and to eat things that don't exacerbate your symptoms. Maybe just try to eat a little bit "better" if that is a comfort to you, and improve gradually. But if changing your diet drastically isn't realistic for you, try to accept it and don't allow it to stress you out. Good luck.

Don't blame yourself for your disease, it's not your fault.

 

[wolfem]

The only advice I can give you is do whatever you can to eliminate the foods that bother you--process of elimination. I'm a firm believer that food has a major impact on health. As is stands now I'm not on any medications and solely control my disease with diet + herbs. I'm not saying stop medications, nor am I saying that diet alone can put you in remission. What I'm telling you is based on my personal experience in dealing with the disease. My doctor doesn't want me to be on medications because he says I'm still in remission and he told me to continue to do whatever it is I'm doing. I would eliminate the major foods that usually cause issues for a lot of people like dairy, gluten, etc. Then, I would start off with simple meals like rice and chicken. Add in some steamed veggies and figure out which ones are OK with you. Everyone is different. So to sum it all up, it can take a long time to figure out the right diet. It took me a little over two years and during that time, I was so hungry! I would eat and eat and eat and never gain weight. I only started to gain weight when I ate more fruits like apples. I'm still struggling a little because I want to go and eat what everyone else is eating but I know that its not worth it. The main thing I have learned from all of it is to be careful not to eat too much of one thing and to sort of find a balance.

 

[LindaS]

Don't feel bad about what you eat, because that is a self-destructive cycle. For me, years ago when I was first diagnosed, I started eating a simple diet, low fiber, then added foods a little at a time, noticing what made me worse and what didn't. Now I have a basic idea of what I can eat. For example, dairy doesn't have any effect on my symptoms, but many people can't eat it without problems. Nuts don't bother me, either, but a salad, or any fresh vegetable (or even cooked) will cause pain for days, same with most fruits, too.

Trial and error will tell you what will aggravate your symptoms most. And when you are in remission you can try the problem foods again and see if they cause problems. When I'm in remission I can eat vegetables without a problem.

 

[kllyeve]

I have found a few foods bother me - tomatoes, tomatoe sauce, steak, dairy. But since I don't suffer from D, they just cause me to feel yucky for awhile. I suffer more from constipation - so if I eat something it may take days to get through my system making it very difficult to tell if anything is making it worse or better. I do alot of liquid meal replacement as sometimes everything upsets me.

 

[Nerple]

The only way I am able to keep my diet in check is to be on it 100% of the time. I was diagnosed just over a year ago and my GI gave me a sheet on the low-residue diet. I did my research and printed out the low residue diet from WebMD (thought it had the best explanations of the ones I found)and I have stuck with that diet ever since. And though the GI told me I could experiment once I was under control, I had such great results I haven't bothered to test foods I used to absolutely love to see if they trigger. I am such a creature of habit that I just couldn't switch my diet on and off.

The other thing that is critical for me is to be the one buying the food. I travel 75% of the time, and when I am on the road, despite not having use of a kitchen and having to eat meals out every meal I am golden and always stick to my diet.

When I come home for my week home a month, I am not the one buying food and while I have been able to resist foods that break the ow-res diet, the temptation is often too strong for me with foods that would break my weight loss diet when they are always in the house.

 

[soloman69]

McStew,

No kidding, what a thing to have to deal with. People who don't have these issues or don't live with someone who does, can't possibly understand the constant pressure of "what to eat" not to mention "when to eat".

I agree with most above here, eat what you want and try to figure out the things that "really" bother you. Stressing over food makes things worse, but I completely understand your desire to control a flare. (your hubby sounds wonderful, so is mine)

Here's what I think... The tract is super long - I don't think the food you eat Monday is actually "revealed" until maybe wednesday?? I tried eating a small meal of chicken and rice and immediatly afterword had gas and pain beyond belief, yet when I ended up in a pub for wings (not spicy) I had no troubles. I tried rice on it's own and had no troubles. Maybe a journal is the best - take a week and eat what you want - then eliminate the common foods the next week - maybe you can figure out what is really bothering your tummy. It might take a while, but it might be worth it. I am trying to do this now, though it's a lot of work, I really didn't realise what I actually ate in a week until I wrote it all down.

Personally, I think - eat what you want - it all ends the same.
If you want a piece of cheesecake, have a piece, if you want fried mushrooms, have some.

You have enough to worry about without stressing about that too.

 

[McStew]

Thanks everyone, I genuinely appreciate your responses. I've been having ups and downs this week. 2 days ago, I just felt really unwell with a very upset tummy, grumbly, etc. Today I felt much better. I guess it is hit and miss. I think I will try better at recording my eating and writing down how my body feels, although as we all know this is easier said than done.

Nerple - how do you stick to your diet so well when you travel so much? I find when I'm travelling or out to eat, I look at the menu, and I feel like I can't eat any of the stuff in there, as it might be harmful for me: salads, gluten, dairy, pepper, tomatoes, fried food, etc. etc. Are there just a few foods you steer clear from?

Soloman69 - I think that's what I find more confusing - knowing what can be bothering you, when it could be what you ate that morning, the day before, or 2 days before. It's so tricky to define, but yes, a journal would be better to help with this. And yes, my hubby is incredibly understanding. So blessed with this!

We will see how the next few weeks progress. You've all really helped me feel much more positive, as it has been a vicious guilt cycle I've been having these past couple weeks.

 

[McStew]

P.S. we're also taking our camper van out this weekend....it's something I enjoy so much, but isn't ideal during a flare (which I've done when I've been really sick). Fingers crossed!!!

 

[Nerple]

Nerple - how do you stick to your diet so well when you travel so much? I find when I'm travelling or out to eat, I look at the menu, and I feel like I can't eat any of the stuff in there, as it might be harmful for me: salads, gluten, dairy, pepper, tomatoes, fried food, etc. etc. Are there just a few foods you steer clear from?

Essentially I am lucky in that I don't get bored of food the same food over and over, and over. So I found a few sandwiches I like at Subway and eat at Subway alot... so much so that they should start cutting me a check to be the new Jared. Turkey Breast on Italian Bread with Mozzarella Cheese and Yellow Mustard. And luckily Subways are everywhere so I always have that fall back.

I have to avoid most vegetables and fruits, berries, nuts, whole grains.

When in normal restaurants, I find I have to have a lot of custom orders, mainly them holding a lot of extras, like sauces and garnishes on chicken etc. Most restaurants only have 3 or 4 items if I am lucky that I both like and can eat.