Make the pain stop please

[tlc-x]

I really want my life back.

I am learning to seperate my life and me from the illness. It's just occasionally like today that I can't and I get upset because the pain just gets too much and I am hurting too much.

It's frustrating. No one knows what is wrong and no one knows how to help.

I'm only young once. My childhood was taken away from bullying, then a year of my life from the assault. I'm over all of it now, but now the illness is taking over my life.

I've stopped talking to people about being ill because my friends and my friends. Me in bed with my hot water bottle is me being ill.

I know none of you know me or can see me, but i've been doing really well this week. It's sucked with the pain and i've tried soo hard and i've been happy and trying to do things, but today the pain got too much and i'm having a bad day today.

I will get through this and I will get diagnosed, but days like today I get scared. What if I don't get diagnosed? It's been 4 years and I don't even have the common symptoms of crohns.. or any illness. I'm a freak. I don't have IBS either.

What if I literally do spend the rest of my life like this? I've tried changing my life around and doing everything the professionals tell me and nothing is working.

I feel like this is a wasted life. I have so many plans and things I want to do with my life and I can't wait to do as much of it as I can.

One website says ____ are the symptoms of crohns, whilst another site says ____ are the symptoms. I'm so confused.

Why won't the hospital take me seriously either? 3/4 of my dads side of the family have crohns. Surely you'd take me more seriously if it runs in my family?

I'm in too much pain today and have been. I haven't had a break from the pain and I hate this.

I don't even understand why my legs ache.

I'll wake up tomorrow and be the other side of me where i'm happy and relaxed and taking day by day, but then this side of me is where I freak out and cry because i'm wasting my life by being ill. I'm a gemini

I'm not making the pain up. I don't lie and why would I make this pain up? Why aren't doctors taking this seriously?!

 

[KayleighK]

Hey there, I don't mean this to come across harsh in anyway because it's not how I intend it to be but from all the posts I've read from you recently you have spoke about different tests you have had/ coming up. If the docs weren't taking you seriously they wouldn't be testing you at all. Although I was diagnosed really fast so don't know how it feels personally I have grown up with my father who now had been "roughly" diagnosed with multiple sclerosis but still has some doctors who disagree on that diagnosis. (Others says its gulf war syndrome) My father is 54 and as been ill since he was like 30 and STILL has no definite diagnosis. What I'm trying to say is unfortunately and as rubbish as it is some people in life just don't get a definite diagnosis. Your so young to be going through such a rubbish time but if I've learned anything from my dads experience its not to put all your effort into finding a name for what is wrong with you but rather use that energy into trying to feel as best as you possibly can making the best out of a bad situation. I've read before you said that you didn't think it was IBS as none of the meds for IBS have worked for you... I'm on 40mg of pred and 150mg of aza and its not working me at all but doesn't mean it I don't have crohn's. Just haven't got the right cocktail yet. I hope your upcoming MRI test goes smoothly and you get the results you want to at least ease your mind then the docs can figure out the pain! Maybe reading some inspirational stories of people with crohn's, UC, IBS in fact anything!! CANCER whatever ( seen a guy on here the other night who won a body building competition!!!...impressive) to show that this isn't and doesn't need to be the end of your life hun. DON'T LET THIS BEAT YOU!. and if that fails take comfort in knowing you have one seriously cute cat!!

xxx

 

[Cordillia16]

i'm so sorry. fight for yourself hard, i know it sucks sometimes. good luck.
ps. my cats name is Tony Montana!