My boyfriends surgery

[tehtamponlord]

So my boyfriend(Thatguy2006) is going through his first crohn's surgery. I'm beside him 150%. His surgery isn't until Dec 1 witch is kinda a ways away. I just don't know what I can do or say to help comfort him through his wait. I don't want to stress him more than he already is. I want to ease his mind a little but I don't know if it is better just not talked about. He has been trough so much and it has been a rough painful last couple of months for him. He is just ready to take control of his life and get this disease under control. I guess I'm just asking if anyone had anyone next to them during there surgery and what they did to help comfort you? Or what you wish someone would have been there to do or say to you? He has a wonderful loving family that is beside him as well. I just hope we can all pull through this with out losing it...expecially him.

 

[jed]

just be yourself, that is all that is all a man ever needs, his love by his side.

only other bit of advice, make sure everyone obeys him in hospital (or before hand) if he wants a bit of quiet time.

i love my family to death, but somedays in hospital would be
wife comes in
mum comes in
dad comes in
brothers come in
wife leaves
dad and mum leave
friends come in
brothers leave
doc looks up your butt
friends leave
wife comes back

and now its only lunch time...... eeeeeekkk!!!!!!!!!!!!

he will probably need some down time, make sure everyone respects that. have a code word.... mine was GET OUT!!

you'll both do fine.

best wishes to both of you.
Jed

 

[Guest]

yep, what Jed said. lol

and - if he isn't forthcoming right now with how he's feeling regarding the surgery, i would gently prompt him to talk.. let him know its ok to share his fears and worries with you. maybe he is protecting you as much as you're protecting him by not 'going there'.. but surgery is a daunting prospect, for anyone.

by far, the most important thing you can do is just to be there for him. whether its for a hug, or to bring nice things into hospital that he can eat, or fetch his fave magazines etc.. unless someone has actually experienced the loneliness of lying in a hospital bed for days/hours, its hard to understand the impact that seeing a friendly familiar face can have, when all you have the rest of the time is strangers who might want to chat when you don't, or doctors who you want to talk to but who don't have the time.

and find out what the telephone availability is on the ward.. if he'll need loose change, or money to pre-purchase a call card..

keep us posted how he gets on, and all the very best

 

[jed]

a note pad for hospital as well. good to write things down, memory can go funny if your not stimulated.

and i'm not sure what surgery he's having, but if it doesnt involve him getting a bag, then buy him some of the best silky toilet paper hospital toilets have sandpaper in them

 

[tehtamponlord]

thanks alot. He is having a bowel resection. The docs said that there is a little chance of a bag though

 

[tehtamponlord]

thank you all so much. I feel alot better. You guys have been an awesome help

 

[MaskdMarvl]

Bring him a portable DVD player with headphones and some new movies. This is helpfull after visiting hours.

 

[ladyB]

lots of magazines and luv.

((Hugs)) to you both