- Joined
- Jun 10, 2018
- Messages
- 8
Hi everyone, I'm new to this group, and although I have bowel problems myself, I've actually joined because my 83 yr old mother has Crohns and is extremely ill with it. I didn't realise how much until recently, we've never been close, and I don't see her very often, my sister lives near her, I live 20 miles away and worked until recently.
I lost my job a couple of months ago, and when my mum found out, she asked if I would help her with shopping, hospital appointments etc, as she'd been struggling. I didn't think twice, I thought it would be nice to spend time with her, so for the last two months, I've been looking after her as best I can.
She seems to have constant Crohns, with no remission whatsoever, I couldn't understand why until I started taking her shopping!
I've been doing lots of research over the past couple of weeks, and I once asked my mum what foods she couldn't eat, and she said she could eat anything, I thought this strange, because there are a lot of foods that make me ill, like some vegetables, and some fruits amongst other things. I have read people with Crohns can't tolerate milk and milk products, and she gets through half a litre of cream, 4 litres of full fat milk, cabbage, apricots, tinned rice pudding, tinned vegetable soups, bacon, sausages, and litres of fizzy lemonade, in just one week! Having read all of the above should be avoided when having an attack, I now understand why she's not going into remission!
She's lost 5 stone in a year, and is up in the middle of the night 2 or 3 times, changing bed sheets and nightware, because she's bleeding so much, the hospital has had to stop her warfarin which she takes because she had a stroke a few years ago, so her chances now of having another stroke have multiplied.
I've given her a book, and asked her to use it as a food diary, to log everything she eats, and how she feels after she's eaten, but she hasn't bothered. I asked if she'd seen a dietitian at the hospital, I asked why the dietitian hadn't explained to her about her diet, she says all the dietitian did was give her some liquid foods. I then found out, my sister had a go at my mum for using the liquid diet instead of eating meals, my sister insists they gave them to her to take as well as her normal food to build her up, because she's lost so much weight, but I've been reading when having an attack, these are to take instead of food, so my mum threw them away.
Honestly, I'm pulling my hair out at the moment, with the frustration of it all.
She has an pre-op appointment next Monday with the specialist to have her bowel removed. I asked her if she had any information on it from the hospital, but she says no, so I took my computer one day and asked her if she wanted to see pictures of people who have had their bowel removed so she knew what to expect, but she says no, she doesn't want to know anything about it, she just wants the thing removed.
How can I get through to a stubborn, cantankerous old person, because I'm running out of patience with her, and I now realise why we've never been close.
Sorry for the long post.
I lost my job a couple of months ago, and when my mum found out, she asked if I would help her with shopping, hospital appointments etc, as she'd been struggling. I didn't think twice, I thought it would be nice to spend time with her, so for the last two months, I've been looking after her as best I can.
She seems to have constant Crohns, with no remission whatsoever, I couldn't understand why until I started taking her shopping!
I've been doing lots of research over the past couple of weeks, and I once asked my mum what foods she couldn't eat, and she said she could eat anything, I thought this strange, because there are a lot of foods that make me ill, like some vegetables, and some fruits amongst other things. I have read people with Crohns can't tolerate milk and milk products, and she gets through half a litre of cream, 4 litres of full fat milk, cabbage, apricots, tinned rice pudding, tinned vegetable soups, bacon, sausages, and litres of fizzy lemonade, in just one week! Having read all of the above should be avoided when having an attack, I now understand why she's not going into remission!
She's lost 5 stone in a year, and is up in the middle of the night 2 or 3 times, changing bed sheets and nightware, because she's bleeding so much, the hospital has had to stop her warfarin which she takes because she had a stroke a few years ago, so her chances now of having another stroke have multiplied.
I've given her a book, and asked her to use it as a food diary, to log everything she eats, and how she feels after she's eaten, but she hasn't bothered. I asked if she'd seen a dietitian at the hospital, I asked why the dietitian hadn't explained to her about her diet, she says all the dietitian did was give her some liquid foods. I then found out, my sister had a go at my mum for using the liquid diet instead of eating meals, my sister insists they gave them to her to take as well as her normal food to build her up, because she's lost so much weight, but I've been reading when having an attack, these are to take instead of food, so my mum threw them away.
Honestly, I'm pulling my hair out at the moment, with the frustration of it all.
She has an pre-op appointment next Monday with the specialist to have her bowel removed. I asked her if she had any information on it from the hospital, but she says no, so I took my computer one day and asked her if she wanted to see pictures of people who have had their bowel removed so she knew what to expect, but she says no, she doesn't want to know anything about it, she just wants the thing removed.
How can I get through to a stubborn, cantankerous old person, because I'm running out of patience with her, and I now realise why we've never been close.
Sorry for the long post.
