E
El_Guapo1976
Guest
I am a 31 year old half spanish half italian living in London.
I was diagnosed with Crohns at the age of 8. Throught my childhood I had endless colonoscopies, endoscopies, enemas and was put on a very high dose of steriods. To say I never really experienced a proper childhood is an understatement. I was in constant pain but learnt to grit my teeth whenever I felt a cramp as I just wanted to be normal like everyone else.
The steriods obviously stunted my growth a little. I often feel I am but a shadow of the man I should have been were it not for this disease.
At 17 I had my first minor operation to remove an abscess. I was stupid in that when I first saw it I tried to ignore it hoping it would sort itself out. Eventaully it got to the size of a golfball before I did something about it. I remember sitting in my 6th form history class and suddenly feeling a warm sensation down below. Fearing the worst I rushed to the toilet, only to find not what I was expecting, but rather the abscess had split and was bleeding. I was saturated in blood.
At 18 I had my first major operation to remove part of my colon and was fitted with the bag. It had got to the point where if they hadn't operated I would have died. The Doctors said at the time it was for the best but looking back Im not so sure. All I know is that the years that I should have been out enjoying myself were stolen as a result of the damn bag. I could never do the pubs and clubs with my friends as I was always petrified of needing the toilet. Funny thing is, as I'm sure you'll all agree, that just thinking about the toilet is often enough for the belly to begin gurgling. And as for meeting girls? Forget that. Who wants to date an 18 year old guy with a colostomy bag?
After about a year the Doctors decided to reverse the bag. Well, I say the Doctors decided, the truth is I more or less demanded it. I decided I would rather live a short life of exquisite pain than a long life of misery on my own.
And here I find myself at 31 years of age. I currently work as a conveyancer (no fun in the current housing crisis!) in West London. I haven't been to the Hopsital in nearly 3 years, electing instead to just try and get on with it. I think I probably now have a fear of hospitals in general. I have a LOT of bad days and sink into long periods of depression. Like others on here, Im sure, I have often contemplated ending it all.
I thought I'd join the forum to speak to people with similar experiences, and maybe make a few friends along the way.
I was diagnosed with Crohns at the age of 8. Throught my childhood I had endless colonoscopies, endoscopies, enemas and was put on a very high dose of steriods. To say I never really experienced a proper childhood is an understatement. I was in constant pain but learnt to grit my teeth whenever I felt a cramp as I just wanted to be normal like everyone else.
The steriods obviously stunted my growth a little. I often feel I am but a shadow of the man I should have been were it not for this disease.
At 17 I had my first minor operation to remove an abscess. I was stupid in that when I first saw it I tried to ignore it hoping it would sort itself out. Eventaully it got to the size of a golfball before I did something about it. I remember sitting in my 6th form history class and suddenly feeling a warm sensation down below. Fearing the worst I rushed to the toilet, only to find not what I was expecting, but rather the abscess had split and was bleeding. I was saturated in blood.
At 18 I had my first major operation to remove part of my colon and was fitted with the bag. It had got to the point where if they hadn't operated I would have died. The Doctors said at the time it was for the best but looking back Im not so sure. All I know is that the years that I should have been out enjoying myself were stolen as a result of the damn bag. I could never do the pubs and clubs with my friends as I was always petrified of needing the toilet. Funny thing is, as I'm sure you'll all agree, that just thinking about the toilet is often enough for the belly to begin gurgling. And as for meeting girls? Forget that. Who wants to date an 18 year old guy with a colostomy bag?
After about a year the Doctors decided to reverse the bag. Well, I say the Doctors decided, the truth is I more or less demanded it. I decided I would rather live a short life of exquisite pain than a long life of misery on my own.
And here I find myself at 31 years of age. I currently work as a conveyancer (no fun in the current housing crisis!) in West London. I haven't been to the Hopsital in nearly 3 years, electing instead to just try and get on with it. I think I probably now have a fear of hospitals in general. I have a LOT of bad days and sink into long periods of depression. Like others on here, Im sure, I have often contemplated ending it all.
I thought I'd join the forum to speak to people with similar experiences, and maybe make a few friends along the way.
