Pain in the butt

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pain in the butt

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Jan 6, 2010
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pain in the butt

well Ill try and make a long story short aug 05 was diag with stage 3 cervical cancer after chemo and internal raidation and external raidation i went into remission thank the Lord ! few months later bladder damage from rad. had to get ostomsomy bag then had to wait a year because of complications , before they could address my bowel issues ,lots of pain on left side , not to mention accidents , stuck at home alot do to 10 to 20 bm a day . they said its not crohns they believe its do to rad. damage, yet i have so much of the same issues as crohns so i hope i would still be welcomed on this site. was on ascol didnt work than bentyl and entocort no help today im starting bentyl 10mg 4times a day prednisone 8tabs daily and mesalamine rectal suspension enema hope it starts working maybe my depression will eas up. thanks for listening.:poo: :depressed: :ybatty:
 
Welcome! Sounds like a rough ride! We don't mind if you don't officially have Crohns - anyone with tummy issues is very welcome here :)
 
My goodness, that stinks! I hope it isn't Crohn's and you stay in remission from cancer. We support anyone with the gut issues. You know what its like. It sucks. I hope you get to feeling better soon.
 
:welcome: and *YAY* on the remission! That must be quite the relief. Wish you didn't have to struggle with this stuff after battling that! Well.....if you have never been on prednisone before - welcome to the would of mania! Maybe you'll have at least a few weeks or more (according to how long the taper lasts) of wayyyy too much energy. Some people develop insomnia as well, so just be aware of that. We have an insomnia club here you can search for. Hope it works for you...keep us posted on your progress!
 
oh no insommia again well not sure yet about which one is better lately all i have been doing is sleeping mostly to try and shut my brain up ! guess i might be back in that place were i cant shut my brain up even with sleep. I might be more productive though with might help depression my medicine pristic sure doesnt and i believe ive tried almost all thats out there. yet im a bit ashamed about it because i have a second chance on life ! Im greatful and blessed just dont get it ! maybe this site and all you guys that care so much will help better than meds.
 
Oh I can share about the mood issues!

First few weeks I felt quite euphoric and 'buzzy'. Got heaps done, felt really motivated etc. However, I only slept about 4 hours a night which was quite difficult! I noticed as I tapered down I had some really bad bouts of depression and anxiety and had to go on medication for this as it was out of control.

Just something to be aware of - doesn't happen to everyone.
 
thanks for sharing . I struggle with depression as it is the only problem is Im already on pristic and lorazeepam with not much help in the depression area plus i think I ran out of brands to try. plus Im not sure what the tapering off is really all about. last nite took my first 20mg than this morning again 20 tonite . doc told me to call monday to see how Im doing than something about different mg later wonder why 40mg aday if it works why not keep me there.
 
I have only struggled with postpartum depression, so I'm not much help in that arena I'm afraid. I am concerned about that last post though my friend. Maybe you can find much much better support for that piece of it on a depression forum? I feel like we can do a pretty good job of supporting you with the IBD piece of it - but I'd hate for us to miss or not do a good job with something as important as severe depression. And if you are having those kinds of thoughts, it may be something you want to seriously share with either a therapist, or the doc that is prescribing your antidepressants. I know some of those meds can actually contribute to suicidal thoughts which you need to take care of asap of course (please!!). Also - there may be a twist with the prednisone. Many people hit mania or are very energetic with pred - but some people (a small percentage) can experience altered states and even psychosis - so that is not something I'd play around with. If you feel that since you have started the prednisone that you are having more of those types of thoughts or if they have just started, *please* consult your doctor about it - sooner rather than later.

As for your tapering question....Prednisone is considered a rescue drug - meaning you only use it to try and quiet down active disease while you are preparing to transition into a maintenance long term drug. Some people periodically have to use pred tapers even while on maintenance drugs if they have a flare (I just had to do this for the first time in 5 years). Pred can be a wonderful drug for so many people - working almost instantly to quiet things down. On the flip side - it has horrible side effects. Sleep loss, bone loss causing osteopenia or even osteoporosis with long term use, I believe it can even increase your risk for diabetes. So - it is not something you want to stay on long term, only maybe 3 months at a time or shorter if you can come off quicker. Not to scare you with the side effects - NOT taking it when you need it can lead to all kinds of things with your Crohn's that can be just as bad.

Ok - I'm hoping you can get some help for your depression - and I'm sorry you are struggling with that. I'd put that at the top of your priority list.
 
pain in the butt said:
did your depression ever get so bad that maybe you didnt want to be here anymore.
Click to expand...

I agree with Peaches on this one. But I will tell you that I took Prednisone many years ago and quite a few times I would be put back on after another flare-up. Yes I suffered terrible with depression. I went from being a happy go lucky person to someone that couldn't stand my life and what it was doing to my family. I did seriously think about ending it, but what would happen to my family, how would they survive. What would it do to my 3 boys when they got older and realized just what I did. Would they follow in my foot steps?
My wife and I realized that it was all the meds combined that was causing my mood changes. We took action by talking to my GI and getting my meds changed. Once I got rid of all the "unnecessary" ones things changed and I went into remission for a long time (quite a few years).

Remember, who would be hurt if I ended it all. Do they deserve to be put thru the emotions and heartbreak that you would cause? Do you really want to miss out on life, even if it means having problems like Crohns?

I learned that having Crohns isn't that bad compared to causing my family, friends and everyone else to grieve because I did something so totally selfish.
If you are having those thoughts and you didn't before going on Prednisone, than talk to your doctor, get things changed. And if you still have problems than please, seek help. Wheather it be a shrink, minister or a help hotline.

I will look up the web site for a really good health forum that covers all kinds of health issues including depression. I will post it here for you.

Just hang in there and please take a good evaluation of your total world and who is in it. Who would you be hurting, not who you would be helping.
 
pain in the butt said:
did your depression ever get so bad that maybe you didnt want to be here anymore.
Click to expand...

Yes it did, but usually only lasted a couple of days at a time. With the tapering you need to establish exactly what the schedule should be. Some people go down in 10mg some go down in 5 every couple of weeks. best check with the doctor. Also, taking pred at night can make sleep problems worse. i always took all of mine in the morning. And no you can't just stay on it as it has bad effects long term like osteoperosis among other things!
 
pain in the butt said:
did your depression ever get so bad that maybe you didnt want to be here anymore.
Click to expand...
Please get some help....I am on meds for depression. I had these thoughts during episodes of extreme pain. It is not unusual to feel this way, but there is help out there....You are not alone, and please don't give up hope....A lot of your symptoms are probably related to the steroids, so get in ASAP to your doctor. If you really feel like you will do harm to yourself, please contact a suicide prevention hotline. They can recommend places for help.
 
sorry to everyone i feel really bad for my selfish thought i do need to get things straighted out meds life etc. been feeling this way a lot before pred I would never do anything though im just tired i quess . please forgive me and thank you for web. sites info. and words can't express how thankful I am for your caring thoughts , Peaches , Imisspopcorn, Priate, and Shazamataz. Again so so sorry.
So I dont have to see my stupid comment on here anymore and not very good at all this internet stuff could someone help me figure out how to delete it . I should change my name to , " shame on me "
 
pain in the butt said:
sorry to everyone i feel really bad for my selfish thought i do need to get things straighted out meds life etc. been feeling this way a lot before pred I would never do anything though im just tired i quess . please forgive me and thank you for web. sites info. and words can't express how thankful I am for your caring thoughts , Peaches , Imisspopcorn, Priate, and Shazamataz. Again so so sorry.
So I dont have to see my stupid comment on here anymore and not very good at all this internet stuff could someone help me figure out how to delete it . I should change my name to , " shame on me "
Click to expand...


You are fine.....You have feelings and there is nothing wrong with expressing them...We all have these moments.

On the lower right corner there is a button that reads 'EDIT' that is how you delete the post. No worries okay. We understand.:)
 
pain in the butt said:
sorry to everyone i feel really bad for my selfish thought i do need to get things straighted out meds life etc. been feeling this way a lot before pred I would never do anything though im just tired i quess . please forgive me and thank you for web. sites info. and words can't express how thankful I am for your caring thoughts , Peaches , Imisspopcorn, Priate, and Shazamataz. Again so so sorry.
So I dont have to see my stupid comment on here anymore and not very good at all this internet stuff could someone help me figure out how to delete it . I should change my name to , " shame on me "
Click to expand...
No worries. We've all had bad days. Stay close. This place will help you out.
 
Pain, these thoughts are not uncommon with people with serious illnesses. Like I said, I have had these thoughts many times. I don't think of myself as bad for having them. I know these thoughts are not healthy when you are trying to cope with getting better.
I am very passionate about helping others find help for suicidal thoughts. It has effected my family and not because of me. I've not told anyone outside our family before now so if this helps you its worth telling.
I have 3 sons. The oldest just turned 30 and has battled a drug problem for the past 12 years. He's been clean for the last 2 yrs but his wife still has problems and it has ruined thier marriage.
My middle son has everything going right for him so no problems there.

My youngest son is a great kid, but he married a woman that is really good a degrading him. He already has issues because of his reading disability and his confidence level is low. About 3 years ago my wife and I giot a phone call from my nephew. My youngest son had tried to commit suicide. My nephew walked into the garage just as my son kicked the chair away. My nephew ran and caught him and some how managed to hold him up with one arm while digging out his jack knife and cutting him down.
I'm sitting here trying to type this wirth tears running down my face remembering the feeling that hits you when you get a call like that. If my nephew hadn't been in the right place at the right time my wife and I would have been left with a huge hole in our lives. He has 2 daughters that would have been fatherless. He is the type of kid that will do anything for anybody and never take a dime. He's not a smart kid when it comes to education but he is the most caring of my 3 boys.
What he did made me realize what my parents would have felt like if I would have gone thru with my thoughts of suicide. It opened my eyes up with one hell of a hard lesson that I will never forget. Now when I do get that depressed I look at a picture of my son and think what if?
I know a lot of my oldest son's drug problems stem from my having Crohns and not being able to do the things that other dads did with thier sons. I know my youngest son's confidence level also has to do with my CD. Since his attempted suicide I have spent as much time with him as possible. I've talked to him about my depression and discussed his and what would happen to his girls if he would have done it. He's doing better now but it is always there in my mind that it could happen again and it scares the hell out of me.

That's why I have tried to give you the best advice I can. Please, don't be afraid to talk to us about it, some of us have been there and also on the otherside. If you feel these thoughts are starting to take control, talk to someone, anyone. Seek help. Most of the time just talking to others can put these feelings to rest.


Don't put your family in the position I am in with my son. It is the most scary feeling a parent can have.
 
Pain, Just a little more. Don't ever think any remark is a stupid one. It is better to say what you feel when your feeling down. I've done it myself. And your really not being selfish, you are depressed and at times it just feels so terrible. There is always an underlying reason for a persons depression and yours seems to be health related, just like mine. Its hard but try to take a really possitive attitude towards your health issues. Remember you are a survivor. You have went through so much and your still fighting. You are so much stronger than you think. Its human nature to fight back.

Welcome to the world of Fighters,Pain in the Butt.
 
Hi again Pain in the Butt,

Just want to reiterate that there is NO SHAME in anything you share on this site. We are all dealing with illness and so we UNDERSTAND how hard it can be. Not everyone here has had depression but MANY have, either currently or sometime or other. It is NOTHING to be ashamed of and you are very much welcome to share with us and help get your feelings out.

(((HUGS))))))

Now, also just want to thank Pirate for sharing that very sad story. So glad your son was found and may he live a long long time! :)
 
Thanks Shaz. I had to go off and have a good cry for a few minutes. I don't know what I would have done if he had succeeded. Janis and I have both worked helping others deal with children that have tried. Its harder for Janis to understand since she has never been one to suffer from depression. After his attempt she became educated real quick. The good news out of all of this is he finally divorced his wife and has a lot more confidence in himself. This is where Janis steps up.
 
Pain - please don't be embarrassed, ashamed or feel bad for posting that!!! It is actually helpful for others to see that I believe. I am sure others come here and have the *exact* same feelings as this. Know that if they read that - and the posts after that -I am *sure* it will be helpful to someone!! I mean, delete it if you feel the need to - but please don't feel ashamed!

Pirate - thank you for sharing your story. I can't imagine having that feeling in the back of your mind all the time. BUT, I also want to note that I hear you blaming yourself for difficulties your kids have. My Mother does this regarding my older brother and sister and their issues. Please don't. Once kids become adults it is their choice if they want to live with past issues or figure a way past them. I can not imagine that you or Janice were bad parents or lacking. I'm betting you were both as loving as can be! Give yourself more credit.......
 
Pain, remember to hang in there. You are a survivor.

Pirate that takes a lot to tell that story. From what I have read about you and your wife, you both sound like great parents. It isn't your fault. It can't be. I'm glad that your youngest son has gotten better since his divorce.
 
Sorry it took so long to respond everybody. Had to walk away and have a good cry. Plus I have trouble matching my thoughts with typing and writing so had to write on paper first before I can type this up very slowly and please forgive spelling errors can't figure out this spell check in this small box here. Pirate thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story with me. I praise the Lord for your Nephew being there just in time. Thank God ! Yet as I read on I couldn't help but hurt in my heart for you that you would feel its your fault for your sons drug problem. I just don't want you to believe that. your so careing and loving and look what you did for me and Im sure many others, you go through so much already you should release yourself from that thought altogether. I really do care. Yet sometimes I know it can be had to stop blaming ourselfs for things thats not our fault. My husband is always reminding me to stop doing it myself so Im going to start practicing what I preach :) As far as your youngest son I can relate a bit I was in a very abbusive marriage once maybe because of my low selfesteem or just stupid. I'm so happy your son is no longer with her and that he has an awesome dad that would sit and talk with him . You should be proud of yourself. Thank you again thank you to all you guys and girls. I was never good at expressing my thoughts well to match up my heart. But after reading all the responses I finally got dressed and out of the house for about 2 hours today. Hey I laughed a little too , forgot about the laugh muscles I needed to use they are out of shape .Thanks again everyone . Oh ya Peaches I was waiting to make sure my apology was read before I deleted but after what you said and all the wonderful responces I think your right . thanks again everybody . Never new how much love was out here on the internet.:)
 
Well....that is what makes this place so great - not only do we understand what you are going through - we care!
 
Pain, you are very welcome. Believe it or not, but by telling this story to everyone here as actually been like a burden lifting off of my shoulders. I didn't realize that it was still there so bad. I thought by working with others it would be gone, but by opening up to you guys, my friends, it has made a world of difference.

It was worth telling if it helped you or anyone else in the smallest way. You will learn that to over come your demons it takes small steps. But every step forward is a battle won. You've taken the hardest, the first one. You have started to fight back.

Go to the Support Topic and find Kello's thread titled " I am proud of myself because". Do something small that you haven't done in ages every day and post it there. In time you will realise just how much you have to be proud of in yourself and that you are on the road to a forefilled life. You will begin to look at everything differant.

Good luck and keep posting your progress. We will be here for you.
 

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