Prednisone Rant

[seaofdreams]

Not having a good day today at all.

The prednisone is making me insanely anxious and I feel like I'm going backwards and not forwards. I haven't been sleeping much and my mood is so up and down. I can't wait to get off this drug from hell. I don't even feel like it's helping, I have terrible pain and D today.

I'm obsessing over everything and the stress is making me feel awful. I'm in loop of anxiety and illness and it feels like I'm never going to be able to break it. I've never had a panic attack at work and I've had three in the past week. I've also been waking up in panic and that's not normal for me at all. I know it's the prednisone and I keep trying to convince myself of that but it's really difficult to hear the logical part of my brain through the pred-haze.

The guy I've been seeing has a lot of things going on in his life at the moment and he's putting up some serious walls. He hasn't spoken to me in 2 days and the last time he saw me, he was incredibly distant. I'm struggling to build up a support system after the breakdown of my last relationship a few months ago and the way my current boyfriend is acting is really having an impact on my mental and physical well-being. I don't even know if it's worth it anymore but I keep hoping that once he gets through his own rough patch, things will get better. In saying that, I'm not sure if I want to be with someone who alienates me completely when under stress.

 

[Crohn's 35]

Pred is indeed an evil drug, makes people go away like oil on water. I have been there in my earlier years and dated a guy who thought I was too hyper... on 55mg of pred no wonder, had all this energy and worked out. Now I have all this energy and my poor hubby gets it big time, so glad he has alot of patience, and I am getting off pred soon. Back on Flagyl for the time being, hate it too. Try to take your pred early in the morning avoid your bf 5 hours after, that is when I used to go nuts lol. How much pred are you on? What is your taper. :hang: do some breathing exercises it works!

 

[seaofdreams]

Thanks Pen I'm on 30mg at the moment, about to go down to 20mg and so so so hoping that I feel better after the drop. I take it first thing when I wake up (5am)
I wish it made me hyper, I'm just getting anxious, depressed, paranoid and clingy. I don't imagine that makes me much fun to be around at the moment but I like to think I hide that from him pretty well. We haven't been dating for very long so I don't really open up a whole lot about how I'm feeling.

 

[Crohn's 35]

I felt that way from time to time. Probably not a good time to open up too much, could scare him away. But then you have think no the flip side if he doesn't understand he may not be a keeper. This disease is not only tough on us but bf and spouses have a hard time too. When you drop you will noticde the difference. How long have you been on Metho?

 

[seaofdreams]

I wasn't really planning on unloading too much on him just yet. Although I went out to a friends birthday dinner with him on the weekend and had a panic attack and was ill and running off the the bathroom all night so I guess that's a bit off-putting :yfrown:

He's not the most emotionally supportive person. When I landed myself in hospital a few weeks ago he didn't call or visit. I guess the quote "If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best" is appropriate here :frown:

I have my second metho *** in two days. I'm hoping with everything I have that it gets my symptoms under control so I can work on my anxiety issues.

 

[Crohn's 35]

You have a while to go for the Metho to kick in, I got to 14 weeks and takes 16... just wasnt working and made me ill. So just hang in there... you are right, I had one of those who never saw a doctor appt with me or in the hospital and he just didnt have clue when I told him basically , your done! Now...I have the most opposite, he does everything for me and then some, he is one in a billion. I always know I can count on him and support means alot to a crohnie. I know it is not the same but we are here for you when ever you need us!!!

 

[5 iron]

Hang in there seaofdreams,Iv'e never been on the pred,but there are a alot folks on this forum who have had a tough time on the pred, is it making your crohn's symtoms better? that could be a bright spot, as for the guy thing if it's right it will work out.

 

[seaofdreams]

Don't they say that good things come to those who wait? Haha. I'll be happy to hold out for 16 weeks as long as it helps me when it has built up in my system. I didn't have any side effects from the first *** so I hope my good luck continues.

Thanks for your kind words, coming on here is the highlight of my days at the moment. Just the simple idea of knowing that I'm not doing this alone makes a world of difference

 

[seaofdreams]

Thank-you 5 iron I'm not even sure if it is helping my symptoms, I've not had a single day of feeling well since being on it. The anxiety it gives me worsens how I feel so it's hard to tell if my symptoms are psycho-somatic or from my Crohn's haha.

 

[Shannon]

I can so relate with you on this one. Pred is new for me and I haven't even started the taper from 40mg a day. I look 4 months pregnant by the end of the night, got the Predcheeks, and I have never been more of a bitch to my boyfriend of two years. Sometimes he will just look at me and smile and say, "you are beautiful" and I snap and go, "stop staring at me!" Haha, at least we can tell ourselves that we aren't awful people, just poisoned people. I wish you the best with the guy you are seeing, maybe your strength will inspire him in his own issues going on right now.

 

[Bosmom1008]

I refer to it as prednisone personality. I've not been able to get off of it since my dx 13 yrs ago. As soon as I wean down to about 10-15 mg per day I flare.

The mood swings, panic attacks, moon face, weight gain, insomnia (here I am) I can relate to all. There is a bright light though. Once you start to come down the side effects are usually minimal.

I feel for you though. Even though you're aware that it's the drug that causing these things, you still can't control them.

I'm very fortunate that my husband and I started dating a year after my dx and he happens to be an AMAZING person who handles me and my CD with tremendous patience and caring. You'll find someone who does same for you. And your quote is absolutely true, you do deserve someone who can handle you at your best AND your worst.

Hang in there. It will get better.

 

[VintageAnn]

I am also on 30, just down from 40 yesterday. I can relate to all those feelings. My mind will not stop. I am jumpy, jittery, flushed, hot, amped, cranky, grouchy, witchy, teary, sad, anxious, depressed and starving constantly and just generally pissed off.

I have been on this particular roller coaster multiple times. Hating each time a little more than the last. Be kind to yourself Nicci. Give yourself lots of slack right now. If you're not super invested in this new guy just let him fade away. You deserve better. With this disease you need someone strong and compassionate to love you the way you deserved to be loved.

Having a chronic illness is not easy to live with in any way shape or form. Surround yourself with supportive people as much as you can. I have been married 23 years. When I got sick with crohn's about 10 years ago didn't know what was going to happen to my marriage at first. My husband wanted to fix me and couldn't so he just got mad and seemed to stay mad for about a year. After trying to live with a mad spouse for a year with very little support I offered him an out, the get out of jail free card. When I told him that he looked like I threw a bucket of ice water in his face.

From that moment on he changed and has been there for me through it all. It rough but we make it work. When I am on prednisone he is actually pretty funny because I go from zero to Linda Blair in the blink of an eye. He's scared!

Hang in there girl, I'm sending prayers your way.

Ann

 

[seaofdreams]

Thank-you so much Shannon, Bosmom and Ann

Dropping from 30mg to 20mg today and so excited! Haha. I've also taken up running laps around a local park for the first time in my life as an outlet for some of the pent up frustrations and anxiety from the pred. I'm finding that I feel so much better afterwards and I'm sleeping really well too.

I've decided just to stop contacting the guy and let him go and if he decides that he wants to stick it out, then he can but if he doesn't then I'm not losing anything of value anyway. It's too much of an emotional strain on me at the moment and I need to focus my energy into getting better, my job and college.

 

[seaofdreams]

Quick update for those following along at home:
The guy I was seeing finally called it off claiming he didn't want to have any emotional commitments at the moment.
I was the one who had to probe him to get a straight answer though.
I feel lucky that this happened now and I dodged a bullet later down the track.
I couldn't handle being with someone so emotionally stunted.

 

[misterquin]

Seaofdreams, I am experiencing the same symptoms and am on 30mg as well. I have these "moods" I'll get in where I can't focus on anything or think about anything but being ill. Ill get really anxious about my symptoms and imagine a bunch of negative possibilities. It's a terrible feeling and know that you're not alone at all.

 

[seaofdreams]

Thanks Alex
I'm feeling a huge improvement after dropping from 30mg to 20mg but I'm still really looking forward to ending this taper haha.

 

[Momof2EW]

Im new to this site but I know the feeling on the prednisone as well. I am on 40 mg a day still and some days I just feel so stressed and then all I wanna do is eat. I cant wait to get off mine... or taper off as the doctor says.

 

[Momof2EW]

I am also on 30, just down from 40 yesterday. I can relate to all those feelings. My mind will not stop. I am jumpy, jittery, flushed, hot, amped, cranky, grouchy, witchy, teary, sad, anxious, depressed and starving constantly and just generally pissed off.

I have been on this particular roller coaster multiple times. Hating each time a little more than the last. Be kind to yourself Nicci. Give yourself lots of slack right now. If you're not super invested in this new guy just let him fade away. You deserve better. With this disease you need someone strong and compassionate to love you the way you deserved to be loved.

Having a chronic illness is not easy to live with in any way shape or form. Surround yourself with supportive people as much as you can. I have been married 23 years. When I got sick with crohn's about 10 years ago didn't know what was going to happen to my marriage at first. My husband wanted to fix me and couldn't so he just got mad and seemed to stay mad for about a year. After trying to live with a mad spouse for a year with very little support I offered him an out, the get out of jail free card. When I told him that he looked like I threw a bucket of ice water in his face.

From that moment on he changed and has been there for me through it all. It rough but we make it work. When I am on prednisone he is actually pretty funny because I go from zero to Linda Blair in the blink of an eye. He's scared!

Hang in there girl, I'm sending prayers your way.

Ann

Everything you described with the predesione is the same thing I am going through. Its makes me happy some days and sad, depressed and all the other on the other days. I also see your on Humira as well.... I had my first 4 injections today. How is your body and health doing since you started it? I have not yet to talk to anyone who has used it before.

Thanks

 

[MysteryLocket]

Hey *hugs*
Well, you're better off without this guy.
You deserve better than him.
Especially since he wasn't being the there when love should of made him, it's =love=, not =convenience= that all us ladys deserve. (okay, maybe both, but. lol ..) ... *hugs*!

And yeah, pred suxs. I would recommend keeping a watch on your thyroid in your throat (I don't know if this is just me, or if it's happened to others. But i started tappering off, and i'm about halfway there to the end of it. Suddenly my thyroid swelled up, while i'm still clueless as to why. Blood tests says my thyroid is perfectly fine. but it obviously isn't.
and i'm a totally diffrent person on pred. I don't even feel myself... (But yesterday we -me and my therapist- were laughing because i am also on vyvanse and should be taking cipro. And she was like "vyvanse and a steriod treatment.. how is that working out for you?" and i was like "Wellll.... it's like... vyvanse on steriods.. they both comingle with each other." and then she was like "we don't want your head to expload, call you pcp and see if it's alright to take cipro with vyvanse." so.. i'm guessing cipro may be an upper as well then. lol.

I'm really glad your feeling an improvement while dropping. How fast are you dropping down? (mine is every saturday morning i take half pill less).

 

[Momof2EW]

Hey *hugs*
Well, you're better off without this guy.
You deserve better than him.
Especially since he wasn't being the there when love should of made him, it's =love=, not =convenience= that all us ladys deserve. (okay, maybe both, but. lol ..) ... *hugs*!

And yeah, pred suxs. I would recommend keeping a watch on your thyroid in your throat (I don't know if this is just me, or if it's happened to others. But i started tappering off, and i'm about halfway there to the end of it. Suddenly my thyroid swelled up, while i'm still clueless as to why. Blood tests says my thyroid is perfectly fine. but it obviously isn't.
and i'm a totally diffrent person on pred. I don't even feel myself... (But yesterday we -me and my therapist- were laughing because i am also on vyvanse and should be taking cipro. And she was like "vyvanse and a steriod treatment.. how is that working out for you?" and i was like "Wellll.... it's like... vyvanse on steriods.. they both comingle with each other." and then she was like "we don't want your head to expload, call you pcp and see if it's alright to take cipro with vyvanse." so.. i'm guessing cipro may be an upper as well then. lol.

I'm really glad your feeling an improvement while dropping. How fast are you dropping down? (mine is every saturday morning i take half pill less).

I have dropped down 10mg this past week, my next appt isn't until next Friday and im sure he will drop them more at that visit. Im not sure how much, just gotta wait and see.

 

[seaofdreams]

Thanks Mystery
I'm feeling a lot better about the situation, it was causing me far too much stress!

I'm sitting on 20mg for a few weeks until I've been on the MTX for a little while then I'll be dropping by 5mg every week. Fingers crossed that I don't start flaring once my dose gets down.