So nervous/stressed

[Manzyb]

so nervous/stressed

I think I seriously do my fair share of biatchin! However, I'm pretty nervous right now.

Yesterday was such a happy day. I got up, my husband and I got to go get an ultrasound don so we could see the baby and hear the heartbeat. It was amazing! Then my husband went to work (he's a US marine) and he got several calls of marines being injured in Afghanistan, then a little later got a call of someone who was killed and had to notify the family. I felt friggin awful for him. I know that was terrible he had to do that. Then he gets a call last night saying that he may be deployed to Afghanistan in March!! Our first baby is due in April. April 25. I'm so upset for him and for myself. I know many military wives go through giving birth on their own and they are okay, but I just don't feel like I'm strong enough to get through another deployment, having our first baby, and possibly being ill!! I feel so overwhelmed I could cry.

I can do this, right?

 

[dreamintwilight]

Aww, Amanda. I just wanna give you a big HUG!! I really feel for you. I don't blame you at all for feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. I have no experience in the military aspect or having a baby, so I wish I could be more helpful! I am always willing to listen though if you need to vent.

If he is deployed, have they said for how long it might be? If it makes you feel any better...one of my friends' husband recently returned from a year long deployment in Afghanistan - he's a ranger! He returned safe and sound too! I will keep you in my prayers. Last thing you need to do is stress out too much and end up in a flare, you know?

Hang in there girl!

 

[Manzyb]

I know!!! Thanks Marisa! I'm already in a flare and afraid it is making things a little worse.

Tom went to Iraq when it was kind of bad and made it back safe and sound. I know that things will be okay. Of course I worry about something happening to him when he deploys, but that's normal. I just worry if I can handle having the baby on my own and raising it for the first however long. I'm not sure how long the deployment will be. He'll leave here in march for Camp Lej. in North carolina and then will deploy from there. Marine Corps deployments are usually 7-9 months, but it could go long as a year. It just depends. The other deployments had only been for 7 months, trust me, 7 months is completely long/hard enough already!!

You know, nothing is set in stone yet. I should know for sure in the next week or so. It just is such a sucky ass time for this. So I just have to keep hoping/praying that things work out for us and everything will be fine! I mean, either way it will be fine, it would just be more fine if we were together :0)

I really don't think I'm cut out for this military life! Never have been, but I love and support my husband.

AhHHH!!! Thanks Marisa, I really just needed to get it out!

 

[DustyKat]

Oh Amanda, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this but you can do this and you will! It will be harder without hubby there but you are a strong and resourceful lady and you will find ways to make things work especially when you feel those first little movements and eventually hold that beautiful little baby of yours in your arms. We'll always be here too!

Sending loads of squishy hugs your way....................

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

Dusty.

 

[dreamintwilight]

Aww, I understand! Sometimes you just need a place to sort out all your thoughts whether they are good, bad, crazy, or silly!

I can't imagine what it would be like to potentially have to take care of a newborn while my husband is deployed! But, you are right. You will make it through, whatever happens. You are a strong lady! But I will join you in hoping/praying that you can be together when the little babes is born!

 

[Manzyb]

Thanks guys! Sometimes I feel like I just need that little boost of encouragement! I haven't told anyone about this yet b/c I don't want anyone to worry, so its nice to have you guys here! I will do it! I've done deployments before and soared through them. This time will be a little different. BUT and this is huge! I'm only an hour away from my family!! Last time I was 3,000 miles away. So I will have help and I know that! Just the thought of not being able to experience the whole thing with him just hurts my heart and my heart aches for Tom too knowing he wouldn't be here for the first part of his baby's life.

Ahh!! Trying not to stress!! I have been kind of sad, but trying to stay calm! I think the Half Baked B&J's icecream might help me with that :0)

 

[Entchen]

Oh honey, you can totally do it. You won't want to, but you'll manage and will be a star about it all!

 

[ameslouise]

We all get curve balls in life, but this sure is a big one! I guess you know the chance will always be there but him already having been to Afghanistan, perhaps you thought you were out of the woods for another deployment. That is great you have your family much closer this time, esp with the baby coming in Spring!

Hang in there, you can do this! And please tell your husband how much we all appreciate him fighting for our freedom and safety!

- Amy