Put in the hospital a week ago for the explosive pain like last year. This one, I could not handle on my own with medications. I'm still not on proper treatment yet due to no health insurance.
I'm closer to that possibility more now than ever because I left the abusive relationship I was in where my financial resources were being taken from me, etc etc.
Anyway, the doctors said this is going to keep happening to me no matter what diet I try to be on until I get on proper treatment. They are pretty positive that I have UC from analyzing my tests and because of having a first cousin with the disease, but said I really need to start working with a GI specialist again.
I've been in all kinds of pain over the last week, all kinds of symptoms. To me, it seems like it's a relapse because I was fine for a little while. I'm angry today because I'm sick of it. I'm angry because I know I have to learn to deal with the pain and stuff on my own with narcotics, prednisone, and anti-nausea medication until I can work with a doctor and get on treatments for IBD. I'm angry because I don't know what qualifies as a medical emergency and what doesn't anymore. I'm angry because I don't want a narcotics induced me to be the new me.
I'm afraid because I can't help but think, "Is this going to screw up my life forever? Will it interfere with all my goals and plans?"
I need to be on these boards for support because it helps me realize that I'm not alone and there are many of you who have to "just deal with the pain" too. There are many of you who still get your butts to work because you have to...
Needed To Vent...
I'm closer to that possibility more now than ever because I left the abusive relationship I was in where my financial resources were being taken from me, etc etc.
Anyway, the doctors said this is going to keep happening to me no matter what diet I try to be on until I get on proper treatment. They are pretty positive that I have UC from analyzing my tests and because of having a first cousin with the disease, but said I really need to start working with a GI specialist again.
I've been in all kinds of pain over the last week, all kinds of symptoms. To me, it seems like it's a relapse because I was fine for a little while. I'm angry today because I'm sick of it. I'm angry because I know I have to learn to deal with the pain and stuff on my own with narcotics, prednisone, and anti-nausea medication until I can work with a doctor and get on treatments for IBD. I'm angry because I don't know what qualifies as a medical emergency and what doesn't anymore. I'm angry because I don't want a narcotics induced me to be the new me.
I'm afraid because I can't help but think, "Is this going to screw up my life forever? Will it interfere with all my goals and plans?"
I need to be on these boards for support because it helps me realize that I'm not alone and there are many of you who have to "just deal with the pain" too. There are many of you who still get your butts to work because you have to...
Needed To Vent...
