23 no friends active crohns depressed as hell

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KimboHiggs

KimboHiggs

Joined
Jul 22, 2015
Messages
93
Hi I'm a 23yr old female and with years of being on and out of hospital it seems now I have no friends... I live with my boyfriend who is great and I have a best friend who lives far away from me so I only see her a couple of times a year.
The other day my boyfriend was out and I felt bored and lonely... I picked up my phone and realised actually I have no friends to talk to nothing to do... I'm so depressed I don't talk to my family so I literally have no one but my boyfriend... Is it so much to ask to have a friend?!?! Especially being in an active flare for months I'm off sick atm unable to work... So how do you make friends at 23?!?!

Hating life! :/
 
Hey kimbo!

I am 26 and understand your frustration with finding friends. I can't go out to the bar and drink like most people our age and when you have constant flare ups you don't want to do anything anyway. My girlfriend is my best friend like your boyfriend is to you. i say keep the ones close to you that make you happy and once your flare subsides just try and go out and meet people that like the same activities as you! Also once I stared remicade and my flares became minimal going out to meet people and making friends was a lot easier. The worry of a flare or just feeling like crap was not on my mind nearly as much. What meds are you on? Are you new to crohns or have you been struggling with it a while?
 
Ian_H said:
Hey kimbo!

I am 26 and understand your frustration with finding friends. I can't go out to the bar and drink like most people our age and when you have constant flare ups you don't want to do anything anyway. My girlfriend is my best friend like your boyfriend is to you. i say keep the ones close to you that make you happy and once your flare subsides just try and go out and meet people that like the same activities as you! Also once I stared remicade and my flares became minimal going out to meet people and making friends was a lot easier. The worry of a flare or just feeling like crap was not on my mind nearly as much. What meds are you on? Are you new to crohns or have you been struggling with it a while?
Click to expand...

Hi Ian,
I was diagnosed with crohns last year but have been in and out of hospital with symptoms for 12!!!
I am currently supposed to be on asacol mesalazine, prednisolone and a modulen only diet but finding it impossible to keep up as I find myself so down in the dumps I can't even be bothered and when I do have a good day there is no where to go and nothing to do I wouldn't know where to start without a friend by my side :/ I'm not good at doing things on my own
 
Sorry to hear about all your hospital visits. No fun I know! For me and many others, Crohn's definitely effects how you feel mentally so keeping up with your meds and diet really helped me feel better mentally and gave me a push to want to try and go out make friends or do anything really. I just understand how you feel and hope you start to feel better. if you have any questions ask! Everyone on the forum knows how you feel!
 
Well after your message this morning I got up and took my meds and set alarms in my phone for the day for my others... I just need the motivation to do so and feeling so down in the dumps I can't which makes me worse... It's a vicious circle!!
Crohns and colitis .org hold a coffee morning every few months near me so maybe when the next one is I might go along... Probably won't be for months but it's a start! Yea I'm in Bedford
 
Danico85 said:
Thats the saddest post ive read for a while!

i will be your mate :)
Click to expand...

I probably sound like a right loser! Sorry!
I've never really had much trouble making friends in the past but when you're 23 and unable to work... There's not much opportunity to meet new people :/ :thumbdown:
 
Hi Kimbo,

So sorry to hear you are so bad at the moment. I totally feel for you, I'm in a flare right now as well. I always helps me most talking and messaging with the people I met in the local support group who have Crohn's or Colitis as well. Knowing "real" people is more helpful to me than being in contact with forum users because the advice you get is so much more personal.
Unfortunately I find it quite hard staying in touch with "healthy" friends because they can't really understand what we are going through. They do their best but they can't do any better because they just don't know what it is about AND - in addition - it's an invisible disease that we suffer from. It makes things a lot harder, to my mind, but it also has advantages as well that it's not visible to everyone.
Maybe you could also visit a yoga/mediation group or something like that and meet inspiring people as well.
Try to stay as positive as you can. It's okay to feel sad, to feel frustrated, to cry. To me, it was really hard to realise me crying so often, well, realising that I lost so much joy of life for some period of time, but keep in mind that things WILL improve. You will get over that flare and feel better again.
I'll be your mate as well!
 
:welcome: sorry to read your post,it is so cruel this crohns monster, but please believe it will get better ,when your on the meds that suit you best :ysmile: well now your on this forum you will find lots of friends here, we will advise,support and try to cheer you up!!:ghug::rosette2:
 
mandyk said:
Hi kimbo, :welcome: your amongst friends here hun , we will advise, give support and try to cheer you up . so sorry your having a rough time just now , but it will get better with the right meds, its just a shame it can take awhile to get them just right.... :rosette2::ghug:
Click to expand...

Hi Mandy, thank you it's nice to know I have another form of support around me :) hopefully things get better soon x
 
you are most welcome hun, i will pray they do and fast, just take care of your self, and i say thanks to your fella for being so suppotive, he sounds a dimond.. best wishes to you both..:)
 
KimboHiggs said:
My lovely mister ran me a big bubbly bath at 3am this morning to soothe my pain bless him
Click to expand...

Doing this regularly will help your symptoms. The problem as I understand it is a lack of blood flow through the affected organ. A hot bath regularly (bubbles optional) will increase blood flow and relieve your discomfort.
 
Hey there, back at your age I also found myself kind of alone,n no friends, no SO ( that gladly you have got ) - and until I started university I was really self concentrated, didnt know where to turn.

But it does not have to stay that way forever. Things change. We change.

I am a big believer in changes; in my opinion, the first thing on your list should be to feel better at any cost. Sometimes this takes time, but each day, do your absolute best to feel better. Even 2% better is a lot when you feel like shit.
Once you feel better, at least at parts of the day, I'd say go out: Take a walk, sit at the local coffee shop, go to the grocery store or the local super market. Smile at people and look at strangers faces. Imagine their story. Breath in.
Write something down.
Read a book.
Go to a yoga class.

Start doing; dont push it too hard. If you feel bad - go straight home and sit back, relax.


If you are looking for friends in Israel I'm here :)

Feel better dear.
 
Dear KimboHiggs,

Just got back from the Chicago Crohn's - MAP research symposium. I might suggest you become friends with the Hermon-Taylors. Although the vaccine isn't ready for prime time yet, the research behind it (including other anti-MAP therapies that are currently being used and have been for some time) look very promising indeed. A good entry point into understanding the MAP cause of Crohn's is the crohns map vaccine dot com web site run by Dr. John Hermon-Taylor (longtime Crohn's researcher) and his daughter Dr. Amy Hermon-Taylor.

I'm not a doctor, and I don't play one on TV. Just posting this with the hope that it will help you and others.
 
MarkB said:
Dear KimboHiggs,

Just got back from the Chicago Crohn's - MAP research symposium. I might suggest you become friends with the Hermon-Taylors. Although the vaccine isn't ready for prime time yet, the research behind it (including other anti-MAP therapies that are currently being used and have been for some time) look very promising indeed. A good entry point into understanding the MAP cause of Crohn's is the crohns map vaccine dot com web site run by Dr. John Hermon-Taylor (longtime Crohn's researcher) and his daughter Dr. Amy Hermon-Taylor.

I'm not a doctor, and I don't play one on TV. Just posting this with the hope that it will help you and others.
Click to expand...

I may sound really dumb but I don't understand what that is :/ lol I don't know much about crohns if I'm honest :/
 
KimboHiggs said:
I may sound really dumb but I don't understand what that is :/ lol I don't know much about crohns if I'm honest :/
Click to expand...
KH, you're not dumb. Just google the web site I mentioned (this forum won't let me post the actual link). And read up on all the links across the top of their Web. All of them and more. In addition to the search terms I posted earlier, just search for MAP Crohn's and with a little poking around the Internets you will find some great info.

This is not yet accepted by mainstream medical practice. But as an educated lay person, I find the evidence of MAP as a cause and anti-MAP therapy as a treatment of crohns compelling. You may have difficulty cohvincing your doctor of this, but IMO it's worth educating yourself and your doctor. And if you're in the UK, seek out Dr. Amy Hermon-Taylor. When you find the MAP vaccine / Crohn's web that she runs it will be obvious why.

Good luck to you!
 
MarkB said:
KH, you're not dumb. Just google the web site I mentioned (this forum won't let me post the actual link). And read up on all the links across the top of their Web. All of them and more. In addition to the search terms I posted earlier, just search for MAP Crohn's and with a little poking around the Internets you will find some great info.

This is not yet accepted by mainstream medical practice. But as an educated lay person, I find the evidence of MAP as a cause and anti-MAP therapy as a treatment of crohns compelling. You may have difficulty cohvincing your doctor of this, but IMO it's worth educating yourself and your doctor. And if you're in the UK, seek out Dr. Amy Hermon-Taylor. When you find the MAP vaccine / Crohn's web that she runs it will be obvious why.

Good luck to you!
Click to expand...

I will defo look for sure! I want to know more about crohns and stuff since diagnosis
 

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