Anyone need therapy to cope with their diagnosis

[Kerry]

Hi all
I was dagnosed with crohns Aug 2011 aged 37. I had a very nasty flare Jan/feb this year and ended up bed bound for 2 months. I really felt i might die. Im sure you all know how bad it can feel. I started on infliximab mid Feb and am now on that 8 weekly. It is working well for me. My doctor has told me the NHS will only pay for it for 12 months then i need to move to Aza which im not happy about but thats another discussion.

I have just had a failed IVF cycle aswell and feel very low. But when i cry about any of the other things going wrong in my life i realise it all comes back to crohns. I cant believe i have such a serious illness. Im so strong, motivated, i have a great senior career, i work hard. Im used to being in control. I just look at all the lazy people around me who just sit and watch TV all the time and it makes me so angry that i have crohns when i was so active and just about to start a family before i got ill.

I look at the rest of my life - 40 years or whatever - and i think how am i going to get through that - am i going to have to have operations, i cant stay in infliximab that long and if i do what other problems am i going to face.

Im angry and still a bit in denial. The thought of being on drugs the rest of my life is crazy.

Would talking to someone like a therapist give me some coping mechanisms for it. I cant seem to get past anger and shock.

 

[jonathanzn]

we are all the same and some of us like me are even younger than you. the rest life for us is long, so we must face it directly and hopefully, without this, the disease would be getting worse. Come on! we all should come on!

 

[hurla31]

Kerry I feel the same. I was diagnosed in January this year, and still in denial about it all. I get so angry and upset about, and unfortunately our loved ones get the worst of it. All I can think about is my future with this disease, and so many complications that can evolve. I do know that it "could be worse", but what can I say, it sucks!!!! Keep your head up girl, we all have each other....

 

[Dunbar]

I think we have all been there at one time or another, it's pretty overwhelming. I took a relaxation program, a.c.t.s. and saw a counsellor in my first year after diagnoses. I use what works for me. I still have my moments but I find it easier to get over the hump so to speak. I believe there is always hope and things will work out, in whatever that form is. Letting go of what I can't control was the hardest lesson, lol. Just remember to bounce, falling flat, sucks.

 

[Miss Underestimated]

If talking it over with someone would help, then do it. It's a hard pill to swallow.

I take the attitude that I'm way more fortunate than a lot of people, less fortunate than others. I live alone, so I can't take it out on someone else.

 

[LaHarmon]

Talking with a therapist is never something to be ashamed of. They can give you coping methods, be a unbiased listener, and great motivators. I know many people that go to a therapist yearly just to get a "tune up". I'm glad the infliximab is going well for you. One bright note is that crohn's research has doubled in the last year, maybe they can find something to cure this horrible disease! Keep your chin up and keep us updated!
Loni

 

[Jennifer]

Yes it is extremely helpful. I've had therapy off and on ever since my diagnosis. You can talk about anything with them and they definitely help with coping tools.

 

[archie]

I think therapy would be beneficial as you are trying to cope with a lot in your life not just the crOhns diagnosis. It can be very overwhelming being diagnosed with a chronic illness and the best advise is to educate yourself about it.

Having crohns is not the end of the world there are several different treatment options to get you into remission and talking to people who know especially on this forum can be of great help. I too am a professional with a busy career who was diagnosed at 36 and I also was in denial 2 years ago. My family were terrific support and I got through the worst which is no why I'm on here giving advice.

IVF is already causing you angst untop of your diagnosis of which neither you feel you have control of. Therapy will help you with coping mechanisms and your crohns will hopefully get into remission and the rest will work out. Goodluck

 

[Kerry]

Thanks everyone. When i got diagnosed in Aug 2011 i went on pred and then i was desperate to be drug free and thought i could be so i came off pred in Dec and then got really sick as the crohns came back twice as bad. Theres still a part of me that wanders if there is a way to be drug free with crohns? Does anyone know of one?

Im at a low ebb due to the IVF too but i could really use some coping mechanisms for dealing with the illness. The thought of what the rest of my life has in store for me scares me to death. I know it could be worse but that never makes me feel better.

Ive booked to see my GP to get a referrel and have the first appointment and see if it helps.

Thanks everyone. Some people have it so so bad and i know every one tries to put a brave face on it but it must hit everyone hard to start with. Especially when your a control freak who believes you can do any thing if you work hard enough - but you cant get rid of crohns!

 

[Jennifer]

I think if there was a way for us to be drug free, we'd all be doing it by now. There are EN feeding tubes http://www.crohnsforum.com/wiki/Enteral-nutrition which apparently help but I'm not a fan of anything shoved down my nose unless absolutely necessary. So far I'm doing well with my medications and I'm sure you'll find something that works for you as well.

 

[crohnicaly stinky]

Kerry,

I'm glad you're going to see a therapist. There is no shame in it whatsoever. It is hard to come to grips with having a chronic disease. I remember the year after I was first diagnosed I was watching the Jerry Lewis telethon for MS. I've seen that for years and years and never thought a lot about it. But this time I just thought, I know how it feels to have an incurable disease. So I pledged some money.

We all need to come to grips with our new reality in our own ways. So think of this, maybe you will not be as good as you could have been without the disease, but you can still be as good as you can be with it. After all, "do your best" means "do your best" and whether you have crohns or not, the rewards of a big effort are just as sweet no matter what you're limits might be.

 

[archie]

I to wanted to stay drug free but when first diagnosed I was put on pentasa and pred. Neither of them fixed my damaged bowel but they did make me feel better. I needed a resection in the end and luckily have remained drug free and in good health since. I'm one of the lucky ones as I consider myself a mild case. I would/will however take meds if required to manage active crohns if it comes back but i'm currently living a normal healthy life and hope this gives you a glimmer of hope.

 

[CLynn]

I haven't sought therapy, but in looking back, wished that I had at least asked for prescriptions during a couple of very stressful times, which of course, brought a flare back. It's stupid not to really, since we know stress is a trigger, so why I always try to "muddle thru on my own" is beyond me, just my personality. So I say, use whatever help you need. But you will get thru it, promise you!

 

[Bridgetinabox]

Hi Kerry,
I too wreatled with the idea of potentially talking to a therapist for help. For me, it was a tremendous help...

I feel like we all censor ourselves when talking about chronic illness, especially to those we love and want to protect, or to those who might not have a full underatanding of what living with a chronic illness is like. In therapy, if you feel comfortable, that censorship falls away and you can really let yourself free. I always left my sessions feeling so relieved that i had a completely unbiased dialouge with someone, someone that seemed to understand but could lend advice as well.

Good luck and i hope it helps you as well as it did for me!
-Bridget

 

[NancyHany]

I'm actually going to start therapy soon and there's no shame in this. There is always so much a human mind can handle. I'm 26 years old and everything in my life is currently downhill due to Crohn's. I've been dealing with bouts of crying, bad temper and thoughts that I should just give up. You have to find a way to get past those either by something to do or by someone close. Good luck