Back to work :/

[ruthyp]

I am due back to work this friday, im sooo nervous! I havent worked since August last year, after 7 months off work i feel so scared.

They have been amazingly supportive ( i work at the NHS so they understand my condition) and they are willing to alter my job role so i am able to stay in my job. There is definatly enough work for me to do, but im scared that because there are certain things i cant do at the moment, that my work colleagues are going to resent me, because im getting the paid the same as them but not totally doing the same job.

Does anyone else worry that colleagues may resent them for having an 'easier' job role then they do? Please advise, i feel terribly guilty.

xx:sign0085:xx

 

[effdee]

You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. Illness outside of your control has been limiting you and there's nothing you can do about it. If your coworkers have a problem with your duties, it's their problem. If they don't think it's fair, tell them it's not fair that you were stricken with a chronic disease and they just have to get over it. Be happy that you're back at work and at least doing what you can. It's a step in the right direction. I'd like to think most people will think it's good that you're healthy enough to get back to some work rather than be so selfish to think "you're not doing the same work so you deserve less pay."

 

[ruthyp]

thank you for turning this round to be positive, i am also very excited about going back, i feel like i will have a little independance back, iv felt awful for the past 7 months, not being able to do anything apart from lay in bed. I guess i just need to be more thick skinned! thank you for replying x

 

[Terriernut]

ruthyp...I went back to work in mid Feb, but only part time to begin with. Just yesterday I had to go the the head office for a meeting. The only problem I've had is people treating me like I was going to 'break'! (partial bowel removal and a stoma) Thursday will be worse...a bigger meeting all day long with EVERYONE...

Chin up....You are stronger than them and your illness!!
Misty

 

[ruthyp]

Terriernut.. thanks for your support. some colleagues have been difficult in the past and made complaints that i seem to be 'slacking', obviously i would never wish this disease on anyone, but just for one day i wish they could feel what we do. il keep my fingers crossed for you for thurs, good luck!
x

 

[Grumbletum]

Hmm, what would they say if you are able to work but were claiming sickness benefit? If people know what you've been through and still complain, then they are not worth worrying about! You don't need that stress. It's so great that you are well enough to go back. Hoping it all goes well.....and enjoy.
Helen x

 

[littlemissh]

Blimey Ruthyp I think we are twins. I too have been off over 5 months and also3 months earlier in 2010. I work in the NHS and started back yesterday on a phased return. Its an all or nothing job and once you are here you have to just get on with it so I am doing fewer (three)and shorter days to start. My usual day is over 10hours and I'd be dead on my feet.
It went well though typically I was confronted with a person with chicken pox - couldn't believe it as its the one thing i have been worrying about with being immunosuppressed. It seems there is a chicken pox epidemic in my area!
I enjoyed being back though seriously tired after my short day ended up as 7 hours.

My main worry is feeling I've left them in the lurch in a very busy job. Although they have been supportive they also remind me every time I see them how busy hey have been. I have heard it so many times from some that I know just think.'well , sod you if thats what you think - I'll swap places anyday' . I remember all the positive comments from colleagues and patients and try to forget those who don't understand..they aren't worth fretting about.
What is important is you don't allow them to make you do more than you can and get worse again. Listen to your doctors and the colleagues who are supportive. Its good to get back some degree of normality for a while.
Good luck for tomorrow.

 

[ruthyp]

wow littlemissh, definatly sounds like we have alot in common. i have many supportive colleagues but a few that were supportive but seem to have gotten 'tired' of me being unwell, kind of like i should be better by now, and another lady has had an operation for something, and she takes the view that she had an operation and she is back to work so why arent i? but crohns is such a long term disease, even people that do have op's still get sick, i wish people would understand that its not that simple to just take out the bowel and it get better.

a friend from work is going to take me out for dinner straight after work so that will give me something to look forward to, il let you know tomorrow how my first day went!

thank you for the support, im so grateful for all of you!
xx

 

[monkey]

littlemissh and ruthyp . . . .
I too work in the NHS and after 3 months off went back yesterday. Starting with 2 10 hour days till i'm strong enough to go back full time! After yesterday, I am pleased to report, some of my colleagues are great, very supportive and caring, others can't 'see' that I have Crohns so dont think it's an issue anymore . . . my easy task got switched with a colleague who has a sore throat . . . hmm!
I have to say tho, the patients loved my new chilled out (read go-slow) approach to the job because it meant they got more time with me and felt more important. Happy days!
be prepared for colleagues in both camps and stand your ground . . . Good luck!!

 

[littlemissh]

Hi monkey, glad your day went ok. I find it slightly odd that some of the supposed caring profession cannot be caring with their colleagues. But for me also most of my colleagues have been so kind, understand I did not ask for this and would hate to be in my shoes.

One thing though, I cannot believe how ridiculously busy it is at the moment. It is always overstretched but at the moment it is way, way over capacity for no obvious reason. It's certainly been a baptism of fire and am glad only going in on 3 days as I not felt as well today so glad a no work day!
The patients have been so lovely and it's so nice when they say they have missed me.

Ruthyp , I hope you are ok back at work. By the way- my predictive text keeps trying to call you turnip!

 

[ruthyp]

haha littlemissh, turnip could be a cute nickname, lol!

Like you monkey, some have been so kind to me, but others seem to think im fine just because im back, but that doesnt mean im better. My supervisor is being really good about it all, and my secretaries are happy to have me back as the guy that covered me completly messed my work up! so i have the stress of having to sort it all out again.

But im so happy to be back, but not sure for how long though. They say im not reacting as quickly as they want me to to the 6MP, and i have started getting bleeds again for the past 3 days

so im just keeping my fingers crossed that i dont get admitted again next week!
xx

 

[littlemissh]

Nightmare, hope things settle.How long have you been on the 6MP ?

 

[ruthyp]

iv only been on it for 8 weeks but when i was in hosp i was put on 50mg and was sevearly sick, so they thought i had reacted badly to it, however i believe i had a D+v bug because my friend who was in the same ward was also sick and not on 6MP, so now they put me on 20mg, which i dont think is making much of a difference... but then again im not a doctor

 

[littlemissh]

It takes 2-3 months for azathioprine or 6mp to get going so hopefully it will get going soon. They may well want to incraese the dose though if you are tolerating the lower dose.